hello, a controversial opinion

SocialbFly · 08-25-2006, 09:25 PM

hello everyone, i havent posted here for a while, and I am making just a quick return...

i am borrowing a line from BBWMoon
"Enough negativity. Enough. We deal with the everyday fat-phobic bastards.

Being Fat isn't a trip to CandyLand. We're all real... Reality does hurt.'

So, at what point is Dimensions and the other BBW sites going to come to grips with the issues...i feel we have for years stuck our head in the sand...we as BBWs shun those of us who have taken even drastic steps to lose weight, and yet, when someone has problems, many of us pretend the problems are of our own making and not the encouragement and support of others that contributes to it as well....

lets talk some realities....in my life that is....
I was fat healthy and happy until 2 years ago (i am 46)...then a small insignificant car accident has altered my perception of myself due to the back pain it has left me with...how...the distances i was able to walk, with maybe a sore knee. are now different due to my sore back...the weight i carried now affects me in my job, something i swore would never happen to me (due to my back, which is aggravated by my weight)...my weight is around 450...my sugar keeps creeping up every time i have an increase in my thyroid medicine...i will be taking meds to lower my blood sugar soon...my knee hurts all the time...my blood pressure and cholesterol are still ok, but with the other things beginning to be an issue, i am not sure how long that will last....i am so tired after dragging my fat butt around for 12 hour shifts that i sleep like the dead most times, and try not to work too many shifts in a row for how it makes me feel when i do...

reality, sucks sometimes doesnt it...so, yes, i am checking with more fevered urgency, differrent types of weight loss ideas...and yet i am told how beautiful fat is, yet there is nothing here to help deal with the size i have become except for how to clean myself...which while important doesnt alter the reality of how we get where we are or more importantly, how to deal with it....

i read Lexis plea for help (by someone else, yes...) and i thought how many people had comments regarding this, and yet, i know if i dont fight, and if i dont make changes in my life....i will be facing these same issues someday....

i challenge all of you to examine what you want and need from a BBW support site...and no this is not a rant against Conrad, who has in many ways been so gracious, yet also helps to contribute to the problem as well...

we need a site that offers healthy ideas on how to deal with our big fat bodies as they age...how to increase our mobility before it takes us out, how to use natural items in a way to affect change in our body and blood chemistries before we progress and become diabetic (no, not all of us will, but a VAST majority will...statistics are supporting this more and more) how to deal with the people that are our staunchest supporters and most heinous detractors...i know the happy fat body i had at 35 is not the less than happy fat body i have at 46...

and most of all, we need to support each other in our own private choices to change our world and try and make it more fat friendly, yet healthier....

good luck on your own choices...and on i go with mine....thank you for reading.

Miss Vickie · 08-25-2006, 10:11 PM

Brava, honey. Brava. I couldn't agree more, and hugs to you for being so courageous to share so much of yourself with us. I hope you're able to make a decision that works for you, and be at peace with whatever that is.

I'm here in whatever capacity you need me -- an ear, resources, etc. Just let me know.

missaf · 08-25-2006, 10:27 PM

Wonderful heartfelt post, Bfly. We love ya

Utterly and completely the decision for WLS is a personal one, and none of us can tell you what to do. Just know that there are those among us who support you and YOUR choices for bettering your health. *hugs*

SocialbFly · 08-25-2006, 10:37 PM

thank you for your words of support...no wls for me yet....i was thinking more of an exchange plan and lots of weight lifting and treadmill and swimming....

anyone care to join me, lol....it is so much easier to do with two...i could use an exercise buddy....

SamanthaNY · 08-26-2006, 07:52 AM

*enthusiastic applause* Well said, Sosh (and it's good to see you here)... you're voicing what I think a few women here feel. As wonderful and supportive as Dimensions is, some find it's lacking in some areas, and has an unknowingly negative impact in others.

Quote:

we need a site that offers healthy ideas on how to deal with our big fat bodies as they age...how to increase our mobility before it takes us out, how to use natural items in a way to affect change in our body and blood chemistries before we progress and become diabetic (no, not all of us will, but a VAST majority will...statistics are supporting this more and more) how to deal with the people that are our staunchest supporters and most heinous detractors

What a dream it would be if such a site were developed. I know I'd be there in a heartbeat.

I just turned 45 myself, and like you, I'm concerned with my health, and what changes I need to make to become healthier so I can be around (and happy) in the future. I wish you well on your journey in that capacity, but I also hope that you and other women here join me online... somewhere... so we can try to help and support eachother along the way.

jeannieo · 08-26-2006, 08:29 AM

I couldn't agree more. You do what's right for you. In the end - you're the one that has to live in your body - fat or not.

And good for you for trying the exercise route first. That's tough enough to do at 320 where I am now - let alone 450. And I still have some problems getting around.

Best of luck to you.

William · 08-26-2006, 11:45 AM

Hi

There are several smaller Yahoo Groups that are Fat Friendly (Fat Acceptance with a little weightloss talk).

William

Quote:

Originally Posted by jeannieo

I couldn't agree more. You do what's right for you. In the end - you're the one that has to live in your body - fat or not.

And good for you for trying the exercise route first. That's tough enough to do at 320 where I am now - let alone 450. And I still have some problems getting around.

Best of luck to you.

crazygrad · 08-27-2006, 06:11 AM

social,
a wonderful post, as so many of your are.
Best of luck to you!

fatgirlflyin · 08-27-2006, 07:57 PM

About 5 years ago I was scheduled to have WLS. Things kept coming up to postpone the surgery for me. First it was a false positive on a pregnancy test, then it was my liver enzymes were too high and I had to see a specialist. Then my brother passed away and then when I finally got up the nerve to reschedule it after that it was cancelled just a week before because the Dr lost his privelidges to operate out of the hospital I was going to because some patients of his had died ( I did plenty of research on this Dr).

I never really tried again after that because I'm pretty healthy. Lately I've been thinking again about having this surgery. In the last couple of years I've noticed more backaches and I've been getting winded much easier. I dont really have health problems but my sister was recently diagnosed with Diabetes so I'm sure I'm at risk.

I would hope that if I did have the surgery that all the people here would be just as supportive of me losing weight as they have been with me being fat.

You just have to do whatever it is that you need to do to make sure you are living the healthiest happiest life you can live. If that means surgery then that's a decision for you to make no matter what people here think about it. They dont have to live life in your body

08-25-2006, 09:25 PM	#1
SocialbFly I am keeping Tina! Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: In a house Posts: 4,548	hello, a controversial opinion hello everyone, i havent posted here for a while, and I am making just a quick return... i am borrowing a line from BBWMoon "Enough negativity. Enough. We deal with the everyday fat-phobic bastards. Being Fat isn't a trip to CandyLand. We're all real... Reality does hurt.' So, at what point is Dimensions and the other BBW sites going to come to grips with the issues...i feel we have for years stuck our head in the sand...we as BBWs shun those of us who have taken even drastic steps to lose weight, and yet, when someone has problems, many of us pretend the problems are of our own making and not the encouragement and support of others that contributes to it as well.... lets talk some realities....in my life that is.... I was fat healthy and happy until 2 years ago (i am 46)...then a small insignificant car accident has altered my perception of myself due to the back pain it has left me with...how...the distances i was able to walk, with maybe a sore knee. are now different due to my sore back...the weight i carried now affects me in my job, something i swore would never happen to me (due to my back, which is aggravated by my weight)...my weight is around 450...my sugar keeps creeping up every time i have an increase in my thyroid medicine...i will be taking meds to lower my blood sugar soon...my knee hurts all the time...my blood pressure and cholesterol are still ok, but with the other things beginning to be an issue, i am not sure how long that will last....i am so tired after dragging my fat butt around for 12 hour shifts that i sleep like the dead most times, and try not to work too many shifts in a row for how it makes me feel when i do... reality, sucks sometimes doesnt it...so, yes, i am checking with more fevered urgency, differrent types of weight loss ideas...and yet i am told how beautiful fat is, yet there is nothing here to help deal with the size i have become except for how to clean myself...which while important doesnt alter the reality of how we get where we are or more importantly, how to deal with it.... i read Lexis plea for help (by someone else, yes...) and i thought how many people had comments regarding this, and yet, i know if i dont fight, and if i dont make changes in my life....i will be facing these same issues someday.... i challenge all of you to examine what you want and need from a BBW support site...and no this is not a rant against Conrad, who has in many ways been so gracious, yet also helps to contribute to the problem as well... we need a site that offers healthy ideas on how to deal with our big fat bodies as they age...how to increase our mobility before it takes us out, how to use natural items in a way to affect change in our body and blood chemistries before we progress and become diabetic (no, not all of us will, but a VAST majority will...statistics are supporting this more and more) how to deal with the people that are our staunchest supporters and most heinous detractors...i know the happy fat body i had at 35 is not the less than happy fat body i have at 46... and most of all, we need to support each other in our own private choices to change our world and try and make it more fat friendly, yet healthier.... good luck on your own choices...and on i go with mine....thank you for reading.

08-25-2006, 10:37 PM	#4
SocialbFly I am keeping Tina! Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: In a house Posts: 4,548	thank you thank you for your words of support...no wls for me yet....i was thinking more of an exchange plan and lots of weight lifting and treadmill and swimming.... anyone care to join me, lol....it is so much easier to do with two...i could use an exercise buddy....

08-27-2006, 07:57 PM	#9
fatgirlflyin needs a vacation Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: California Posts: 3,901	About 5 years ago I was scheduled to have WLS. Things kept coming up to postpone the surgery for me. First it was a false positive on a pregnancy test, then it was my liver enzymes were too high and I had to see a specialist. Then my brother passed away and then when I finally got up the nerve to reschedule it after that it was cancelled just a week before because the Dr lost his privelidges to operate out of the hospital I was going to because some patients of his had died ( I did plenty of research on this Dr). I never really tried again after that because I'm pretty healthy. Lately I've been thinking again about having this surgery. In the last couple of years I've noticed more backaches and I've been getting winded much easier. I dont really have health problems but my sister was recently diagnosed with Diabetes so I'm sure I'm at risk. I would hope that if I did have the surgery that all the people here would be just as supportive of me losing weight as they have been with me being fat. You just have to do whatever it is that you need to do to make sure you are living the healthiest happiest life you can live. If that means surgery then that's a decision for you to make no matter what people here think about it. They dont have to live life in your body __________________ Keep on keeping on...

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08-25-2006, 10:11 PM	#2
Miss Vickie Executive Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 8,951	Brava, honey. Brava. I couldn't agree more, and hugs to you for being so courageous to share so much of yourself with us. I hope you're able to make a decision that works for you, and be at peace with whatever that is. I'm here in whatever capacity you need me -- an ear, resources, etc. Just let me know.

08-25-2006, 10:27 PM	#3
missaf Master Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 4,734	Wonderful heartfelt post, Bfly. We love ya Utterly and completely the decision for WLS is a personal one, and none of us can tell you what to do. Just know that there are those among us who support you and YOUR choices for bettering your health. hugs

08-26-2006, 08:29 AM	#6
jeannieo Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Middle of nowhere, New Hampster Posts: 72	I couldn't agree more. You do what's right for you. In the end - you're the one that has to live in your body - fat or not. And good for you for trying the exercise route first. That's tough enough to do at 320 where I am now - let alone 450. And I still have some problems getting around. Best of luck to you.

08-27-2006, 06:11 AM	#8
crazygrad Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: a well-carpeted insane asylum Posts: 687	social, a wonderful post, as so many of your are. Best of luck to you!