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Old 04-04-2015, 08:02 PM   #1
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I'm sure that many other FA's can relate to the struggle between our preferences and reality. I've always been attracted to larger women from an early age. I've dated women anywhere from BBW (200ish). all the way up to supersize, (470). Eventually I fell in love and married a woman that was a BBW (225). Unfortunately she lost her long time battle with cancer a few months ago. I've always had a preference for SSBBW's. The concern I have is that I have two young children, 9 and 12, and my oldest is on the severe end of he autism spectrum, and at times, I find myself struggling to keep up with him. If I was with someone in the SSBBW range, (400+), someday, would her mobility be a concern. Interesting and difficult issue.
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Old 04-05-2015, 06:40 AM   #2
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Man, before I can even comment on your "current" problem I have to say, my sincere condolences for the loss of your wife. I can't imagine what life would be like for me if I were to lose my wife.

Regarding the "FA" problem, you do raise a good issue. A lot of FAs don't fully consider some of the changes they have to make if they are going to date BBWs or SSBBWs. It takes subtle but real changes in everyday life, like not getting a booth at a restaurant, or accepting potential health related issues in her future, or just adjusting to a lower level of mobility. My wife and I bought season passes to an amusement park near our home. One thing we didn't think of was her butt being too big to fit on many of the rides! That was two summers ago, and through a lot of hard work, discipline, and determination she has slimmed down to the point where last summer she had no problem fitting. It does seem a lot of FAs want the BBW/SSBBW but aren't willing to accept some of the challenges that come with her.
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Old 04-05-2015, 07:29 AM   #3
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Also, consider that size is not necessarily an indicator of stamina. I've known some very large women who would wear down the Energizer Bunny!
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Old 04-05-2015, 08:26 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Steve O View Post
I'm sure that many other FA's can relate to the struggle between our preferences and reality. I've always been attracted to larger women from an early age. I've dated women anywhere from BBW (200ish). all the way up to supersize, (470). Eventually I fell in love and married a woman that was a BBW (225). Unfortunately she lost her long time battle with cancer a few months ago. I've always had a preference for SSBBW's. The concern I have is that I have two young children, 9 and 12, and my oldest is on the severe end of he autism spectrum, and at times, I find myself struggling to keep up with him. If I was with someone in the SSBBW range, (400+), someday, would her mobility be a concern. Interesting and difficult issue.
My condolences on the loss of your wife. To answer your question, yes, of course mobility is a concern for anyone. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow and be paralyzed, as could any average-sized woman you fell in love with. But you have to follow your heart. Some FAs are exclusively attracted to very large SSBBWs, and don't have the choice you have. When their relationships succeed, it's because, in their view, the positive qualities of their partner far exceed any limitations she might have. We all have limitations, not all of which are physical. The best relationships are those where both partners make an effort to understand and work with the limitations and strengths of each other. When it comes to this subject, mobility is only one piece of a very very big picture.
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Old 04-05-2015, 09:45 AM   #5
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Also, consider that size is not necessarily an indicator of stamina. I've known some very large women who would wear down the Energizer Bunny!
This is true only until it isn't. I too have known some very energetic SSBWs. However, without fail, all lost their energy -- and the accompanying ability to fully participate in life with friends and family -- as they aged.
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Old 04-12-2015, 05:28 AM   #6
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... I've always had a preference for SSBBW's. The concern I have is that I have two young children, 9 and 12, and my oldest is on the severe end of he autism spectrum, and at times, I find myself struggling to keep up with him. If I was with someone in the SSBBW range, (400+), someday, would her mobility be a concern. Interesting and difficult issue.
My advice is, if you are into 400+ ladies, be proud of your preference and date the lady of your dreams. Otherwise you will regret it one day.
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Old 04-13-2015, 08:11 AM   #7
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My advice is, if you are into 400+ ladies, be proud of your preference and date the lady of your dreams. Otherwise you will regret it one day.
Was looking for a "LIKE" - totally agree with the above statement.
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Old 04-13-2015, 07:15 PM   #8
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My advice is, if you are into 400+ ladies, be proud of your preference and date the lady of your dreams. Otherwise you will regret it one day.
The problem is that the lady of one's sexual dreams may not be the best fit for the rest of your day. Everyone settles -- we all make compromises -- the thing is to make compromises we can live with. Its unlikely that a 400 plus pound woman is going to be able to go bike riding with the kids, frolic on the beach, go hiking, or even walk around a local street fair. If these types of things don't matter to you -- or if a supersize significant other is more important by all means seek out a SSBBW. However, if you would resent the limitations supersize imposes its best to stick with midsize or smaller BBWs.


Also, its been my experience that the more serious a relationship gets the more important it is to be able to experience life together. In a casual relationship it may not be a big deal that your SSBBW partner cannot accompany you to your favorite place or engage in a favorite activity. However, I've found that as a relationship gets more serious being able to participate in activities together becomes more important.
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Old 04-14-2015, 03:37 AM   #9
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The problem is that the lady of one's sexual dreams may not be the best fit for the rest of your day. Everyone settles -- we all make compromises -- the thing is to make compromises we can live with. Its unlikely that a 400 plus pound woman is going to be able to go bike riding with the kids, frolic on the beach, go hiking, or even walk around a local street fair. If these types of things don't matter to you -- or if a supersize significant other is more important by all means seek out a SSBBW. However, if you would resent the limitations supersize imposes its best to stick with midsize or smaller BBWs.


Also, its been my experience that the more serious a relationship gets the more important it is to be able to experience life together. In a casual relationship it may not be a big deal that your SSBBW partner cannot accompany you to your favorite place or engage in a favorite activity. However, I've found that as a relationship gets more serious being able to participate in activities together becomes more important.
While this can certainly be true to a point, it is also important to note that in life (and especially in relationships) is about compromise. If one is not willing to make the compromise then it is best not to get into that relationship.
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Old 04-14-2015, 07:58 AM   #10
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While this can certainly be true to a point, it is also important to note that in life (and especially in relationships) is about compromise. If one is not willing to make the compromise then it is best not to get into that relationship.

Yes, maybe I didn't state it so well but my point was basically are these compromises you're willing to make. For some people the answer is obviously going to be yes. However, other people are sure to be frustrated by the physical limitations of a SSBBW. Guys need to be honest with themselves regarding which group they belong to.
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Old 04-14-2015, 12:47 PM   #11
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I am going to address the elephant (no pun intended) in this poster's predicament. That is, the never ending, and may become more demanding care and time devoted to the autistic child. A SSBBW may not make demands on your time now but as she gets older and more arthritic it may strain your ability to care for all concerned. You may need to pare down your preference in size to ensure a better quality of life for all.
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Old 04-14-2015, 02:38 PM   #12
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Or to put it another way, given the amount of work on your plate, you may need a work mate, no matter how much you want a play mate. (and of course, someone that you make an intellectual and emotional connection with is key, given that relationships are tough enough anyway, and you will be dealing with an extra stress)
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Old 04-14-2015, 03:35 PM   #13
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We don't know how long we will live. Life is full of up and downs and curve balls. Steve O stated that is wife had passed away, please accept my condolences. Sorry, but I rather share an incredible time and love with my soul mate no matter how short that time will be rather than be considered as somebody's compromise.
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Old 04-14-2015, 10:13 PM   #14
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... you may need a work mate, no matter how much you want a play mate. ...
Yes! This applies to most relationships. In today's world if a couple wants a decent life both partners are going to have to contribute. Your mate needs to be functional not just decorative.
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Old 04-30-2015, 10:19 AM   #15
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Yes, maybe I didn't state it so well but my point was basically are these compromises you're willing to make. For some people the answer is obviously going to be yes. However, other people are sure to be frustrated by the physical limitations of a SSBBW. Guys need to be honest with themselves regarding which group they belong to.
I belong to the group of guys that watch SSBBW in porn and live with a SSBBW in reality. I want that my wife knows that she has the perfect form for me. I think physical limitation are not important, especially in FA/SSBBW relationships.
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Old 04-30-2015, 01:32 PM   #16
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I hope you all fit "personality" in there too.
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Old 04-30-2015, 02:01 PM   #17
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Yes! This applies to most relationships. In today's world if a couple wants a decent life both partners are going to have to contribute. Your mate needs to be functional not just decorative.
As said so often in this thread--it is a trade-off and a compromise. Obviously there are people who do make things work when one part of the couple doesn't (by choice or capability) contribute very much compared to the other. But for sure that will have costs in terms of where and how you live, what you do, etc. Some people will handle it if it happens, fewer would choose that situation, but some probably would..... humans, and the way we find ways to fit together, are SO varied that it is pretty hard to come up with a universal prescription.

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I hope you all fit "personality" in there too.
Sure-- "compliant and eager to please" is a personality, right? *ducks and runs*
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Old 04-30-2015, 06:00 PM   #18
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I'm sure you know how that would fly with me.

Your shit is on.the lawn, get out.



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As said so often in this thread--it is a trade-off and a compromise. Obviously there are people who do make things work when one part of the couple doesn't (by choice or capability) contribute very much compared to the other. But for sure that will have costs in terms of where and how you live, what you do, etc. Some people will handle it if it happens, fewer would choose that situation, but some probably would..... humans, and the way we find ways to fit together, are SO varied that it is pretty hard to come up with a universal prescription.



Sure-- "compliant and eager to please" is a personality, right? *ducks and runs*
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Old 05-01-2015, 04:46 PM   #19
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... Obviously there are people who do make things work when one part of the couple doesn't (by choice or capability) contribute very much compared to the other. But for sure that will have costs in terms of where and how you live, what you do, etc. Some people will handle it if it happens, fewer would choose that situation, but some probably would.....
It would be nice to think that love can conquer all. However, twenty years in the dog eat dog culture of the United States has beaten that idea out of me. In a winner take all culture with a minimal safety net few people are going to be willing to enter long-term relationships with partners who don't bring significant resources to the table.

Conservatives are always saying that they're for traditional marriage. Their policies have indeed forced marriage back toward its traditional form -- an economic relationship.
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Old 05-02-2015, 04:43 AM   #20
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It would be nice to think that love can conquer all. However, twenty years in the dog eat dog culture of the United States has beaten that idea out of me. In a winner take all culture with a minimal safety net few people are going to be willing to enter long-term relationships with partners who don't bring significant resources to the table.

Conservatives are always saying that they're for traditional marriage. Their policies have indeed forced marriage back toward its traditional form -- an economic relationship.
I understand your statement very well. Maybe this is the reason why some guys play with fat people only. Maybe these guys cannot afford fat partners on economic reasons. What a pity. I will pray (give them money) for all these destitute FAs.
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Old 05-02-2015, 04:52 AM   #21
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It would be nice to think that love can conquer all. However, twenty years in the dog eat dog culture of the United States has beaten that idea out of me. In a winner take all culture with a minimal safety net few people are going to be willing to enter long-term relationships with partners who don't bring significant resources to the table.

Conservatives are always saying that they're for traditional marriage. Their policies have indeed forced marriage back toward its traditional form -- an economic relationship.
That you experience this with your local culture does not make it a universal truth, however true it may be in your universe.
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Old 05-02-2015, 08:32 AM   #22
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That you experience this with your local culture does not make it a universal truth, however true it may be in your universe.
You're probably right. When I lived in Canada economic issues didn't intrude the way they do in the good old USA.
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Old 05-02-2015, 08:39 AM   #23
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I understand your statement very well. Maybe this is the reason why some guys play with fat people only. Maybe these guys cannot afford fat partners on economic reasons. What a pity. I will pray (give them money) for all these destitute FAs.
Yes. Its also one of the reasons why many guys who date 400+ pound girls end up marrying 200 pound girls.
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Old 05-11-2015, 04:29 AM   #24
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This is true only until it isn't. I too have known some very energetic SSBWs. However, without fail, all lost their energy -- and the accompanying ability to fully participate in life with friends and family -- as they aged.
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Also, its been my experience that the more serious a relationship gets the more important it is to be able to experience life together. In a casual relationship it may not be a big deal that your SSBBW partner cannot accompany you to your favorite place or engage in a favorite activity. However, I've found that as a relationship gets more serious being able to participate in activities together becomes more important.
There is a fine line between a measured estimation of the issues that arise from being an FA and trying to talk fellow FAs out of being in a relationship with a SSBBW based on your own experiences. Your (repeated) comments quite often fall into the latter category, which sucks. I know you think you're being all savvy about Life's Real Issues here, but you just come across as sour and unsupportive.

Way to go for doing your bit to make the world out there harder for super-fatties. Keep up the good work.
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Old 05-11-2015, 05:21 PM   #25
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bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!bigmac keeps pushing the rep limit!
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Originally Posted by liz (di-va) View Post
There is a fine line between a measured estimation of the issues that arise from being an FA and trying to talk fellow FAs out of being in a relationship with a SSBBW based on your own experiences. Your (repeated) comments quite often fall into the latter category, which sucks. I know you think you're being all savvy about Life's Real Issues here, but you just come across as sour and unsupportive.

Way to go for doing your bit to make the world out there harder for super-fatties. Keep up the good work.
The sad fact is that life is often hard for extra large folks. Before anyone can be supportive in a meaningful way they must first understand the situation. Both the FA and the SSBBW need to understand that biology, physics, and society will put constraints on their relationship. For the relationship to succeed these constraints must be accepted or mitigated.
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