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08-28-2006, 06:27 AM
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was made for sunny days.
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 6,866
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For Misty, in honor of her big move. (Essay & pics)
She's leaving home. By Carrie C. 5/15/05 I received a letter like so many others Mama said, "How’s life in the city, my your sister’s grown, And you’ve just missed those awful Dixie storms Thank God they’ve passed, those awful Dixie storms." I left so long ago I’ve forgotten just what for, Except when a big city beckons you have no choice but to go And here, there are no Dixie storms, Thank god there are no Dixie storms And the smoke on the street makes me wonder why I stay away From those gentle Dixie storms When I was younger how I would wonder What made the sweet Georgia rain make me feel so warm, And how God made a Dixie storm And how I loved those Dixie storms And the rumble in the sky brings a shudder to my soul Oh how I love those Dixie storms. - Maria McKee, Dixie Storms Leaving home has been a common theme in my life. I always seem to have a somewhat visceral reaction to songs about leaving home in search of that elusive thing we all crave, whatever it is. In my younger years, I was consumed with a feeling of restlessness that stirred deep within me, a dust storm of ache that whirled around my heart. I'd felt that way for as long as I could remember. I made my pilgrimage a few weeks shy of my 25th birthday. I left Rhode Island, everything and everyone I knew to see what else I could find out in the world. I'd just finished reading the "Tales of the City" book series by Armistead Maupin, so the big city that beckoned to me was San Francisco. I packed up my little Mazda with my precious things and camping gear, and headed west with $500 to my name, my best friend Beth's home in Oregon my initial destination. And my god, what a trip that was. I'd never camped before in my life. In fact, if you look up "rugged" or "outdoorsy" in a thesaurus, you'll find my rather princessy self pictured as an antonym, but I was convinced I could do it. I splurged on all sorts of camping and survival gear from L.L. Bean and R.E.I. -- I even bought a snakebite kit, and if you're guessing that I didn't need it, well.... just shut up. The first night I found a campground in Pennsylvania and staked my temporary claim on an open hillside in the dark, having overdone the "just a few more miles" routine that day. It took me approximately an hour to set up my tent that night in the dark -- the same tent that I'd practiced setting up in my living room back home whose setup time I'd whittled down to 3 minutes. The wind howled and beat mercilessly against my tent for hours as I tried to sleep, and I wondered just what in the hell I thought I was doing. Just before dawn I drifted off to sleep. Later that morning a fellow camper gently pointed out to me that had I pitched my tent among the thick trees a scant 100 feet away, instead of choosing the wide open hillside, the wind wouldn't have bothered me. Thus forcing me to the conclusion that more *books* on camping and fewer snakebite, first aid, and water treatment kits probably would have been prudent. I'd never really seen anything too remarkable in the way of nature before, so I made it a point to stop at as many national parks as possible along the way. I'll never forget when I reached the Badlands in South Dakota. I stood there in awe at the gaping mouth of the park where it opens out into the Badlands, tears streaming down my face. I'd never seen anything so amazing in my life. And it just got better and better as I moved westward. I arrived at Beth's house in Oregon three weeks later, with $12.00 in my pocket and to my name, exhausted but completely idealistic and so eager for my life to start, certain that my cross-country move was the key to everything. Between the late summer of 1995 and the winter of 1996, I moved from Rhode Island to Oregon, to California, to Maryland, all the while pursuing that elusive thing. Years later, I finally learned that what I sought was, of course, actually me. I was there all along, but I learned that sometimes it takes a grand adventure (or two, or three...) to find what you're really made of, and figure out what's important to you. A marriage begun and since ended, friendships cemented for a lifetime, faith in myself learned and renewed....in that journey of mine, and others since, the destinations were fairly arbitrary. The journey itself has been what's shaped me.
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"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair," said Anne reproachfully. "People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is." 
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08-28-2006, 06:27 AM
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#2 |
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was made for sunny days.
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 6,866
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"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair," said Anne reproachfully. "People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is."
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08-28-2006, 06:28 AM
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#3 |
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was made for sunny days.
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 6,866
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"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair," said Anne reproachfully. "People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is."
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08-28-2006, 06:29 AM
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#4 |
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was made for sunny days.
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 6,866
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Misty, I hope that reading this will maybe help to renew your optimism about your recent major life changes. You've been through a great deal recently, and have weathered the storms like a champ, it seems, and I have no doubt that you'll use this experience to learn, and grow, and just enjoy yourself. I'm envious of your ability to pick up and move and start anew in a new location - when you get to be a bit older (fine, like me!
 ), it often becomes more difficult, simply as a result of the "life baggage" and added responsibilities we accumulate over the years (i.e. a mortgage, sometimes kids, etc.). So stay strong, be open to new experiences and people, and most of all, enjoy yourself. You're going to do great.  ~Carrie
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"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair," said Anne reproachfully. "People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is."
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08-28-2006, 06:33 AM
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#5 |
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Mustachio Nut
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Orange County, CA
Posts: 5,403
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Wednesday morning at five o'clock
as the day begins Silently closing her bedroom door Leaving the note that she hoped would say more She goes downstairs to the kitchen clutching her handkerchief Quietly turning the back door key Stepping outside she is free She (we gave her most of our lives) is leaving (sacrificed most of our lives) home (we gave her everything money could buy) She's leaving home after living alone for so many years (bye bye) Father snores as his wife gets into her dressing gown Picks up the letter that's lying there Standing alone at the top of the stairs She breaks down and cries to her husband Daddy our baby's gone Why would she treat us so thoughtlessly How could she do this to me She (We never thought of ourselves) is leaving (never a thought for ourselves) home (we struggled hard all our lives to get by) She's leaving home after living alone for so many years (bye bye) Friday morning at nine o'clock she is far away Waiting to keep the appointment she made Meeting a man from the motor trade She (what did we do that was wrong) is having (we didn't know it was wrong) fun (fun is the one thing that money can't buy) Something inside that was always denied for so many years (bye bye) She's leaving home (bye bye) She's Leaving Home by The Beatles  Interesting story & luv the pics Carrie.  |
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08-28-2006, 06:34 AM
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#6 |
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Coin-Operated
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Planet of the Mad Robots
Posts: 7,643
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Carrie, what a lovely essay, and lovely photos, although I think you've gotten lovlier as you've aged... Or maybe just harlot-ier.
Edit: I love your birthmark on your chest! Very pretty beauty mark there, sport!
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The Queen Bee on the Outsider: She didn't have the right brand of lip gloss. SHE HAD TO BE DESTROYED. |
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08-28-2006, 06:37 AM
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#7 | |
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was made for sunny days.
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 6,866
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Quote:
And yes, definitely harlot-ier.
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"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair," said Anne reproachfully. "People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is."
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08-28-2006, 06:38 AM
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#8 | |
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was made for sunny days.
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 6,866
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Quote:
__________________
"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair," said Anne reproachfully. "People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is."
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08-28-2006, 06:43 AM
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#9 |
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Photo (c) Fatlane
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Tangled up in Blue
Posts: 9,186
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Carrie, as I tell my son, it isn't a place that brings you happiness. You take "You" along wherever you go, so unless you like that person, you're taking along someone you don't like.
You are wonderful!!!
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"A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves." ~ Edward R. Murrow |
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08-28-2006, 06:50 AM
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#10 |
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Engaged <3
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 1,094
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Carrie...
I loved reading this... More, Please! |
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08-28-2006, 08:08 AM
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#11 |
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All cookies cleared!
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New York City
Posts: 2,607
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I've enjoyed the essay before, but have never seen these photos, Miss Carrie. Sho' nuff purdy pitchers, they are.
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"If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win. That's what they do so well; they seduce people. But if you ridicule them, bring them down with laughter, they can't win." ~ Mel Brooks "The country is run by extremists, 'cause moderates have shit to do." ~ Jon Stewart "And she doesn't wear polyester except when she's kidding."~ Egbert Souse |
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08-28-2006, 10:08 AM
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#12 |
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Di's claimed me. :)
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: location, location.
Posts: 20,592
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Wonderful story and pictures, Carrie. Was very brave of you, particularly at that age. And of course, the Maria McKee lyrics are perfect -- God, I love her. Very uplifting post.
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"It is possible to believe in something and still fail to live up to it." -- Wilson, House M.D. "I'm really tired of a fat woman's sexuality being just another fat joke." -- Felicia/Supero "Sookie! I am so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! Fuck Sookie!" -- Pam |
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08-28-2006, 11:42 AM
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#13 |
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was made for sunny days.
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 6,866
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Thank you so much, Jane, Allie, BoBabe, and Tina!! Lovely, sweet girly-girls, the lot of you!
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"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair," said Anne reproachfully. "People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is."
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08-28-2006, 07:20 PM
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#14 |
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Executive Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 8,610
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Carrie,
I'm so glad that you brought this to my attention because I overlooked it somehow. I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face because I don't think I've ever read anything more beautiful. This move has probably been one of the most exciting and challenging events in my life. I'm sitting here in an apartment with no furniture, looking at a bank balance that's in the red, and all I can do is thank God for this opportunity to spread my wings and finally create my legacy. I appreciate you more than words could ever express. Thank you, thank you, thank you. |
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08-29-2006, 06:21 AM
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#15 | |
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Coin-Operated
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Planet of the Mad Robots
Posts: 7,643
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Quote:
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The Queen Bee on the Outsider: She didn't have the right brand of lip gloss. SHE HAD TO BE DESTROYED. |
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08-29-2006, 10:30 AM
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#16 | |
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was made for sunny days.
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 6,866
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Quote:
(Go read some of my TSL-approved porn stories & cry, and then we'll be even. Mmkay?)
__________________
"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair," said Anne reproachfully. "People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is."
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08-29-2006, 03:10 PM
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#17 | |
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Executive Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 8,610
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08-29-2006, 03:23 PM
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#18 | |
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was made for sunny days.
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 6,866
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Quote:
"Well, hello, there." "Evening, ma'am. I've got something....hot and steamy here for you. Did someone call for a....delivery?" "Yes, I did. I'm so incredibly....hungry. But not for pizza....if you know what I mean. Tell me, can I depend on you to....deliver?" BOW-CHICKA-BOW-WOW I think I may have missed my writing calling.
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"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair," said Anne reproachfully. "People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is."
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08-29-2006, 03:43 PM
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#19 | |
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Executive Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 8,610
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Quote:
..lol |
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08-29-2006, 04:20 PM
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#20 | |
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was made for sunny days.
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Maryland
Posts: 6,866
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Quote:
__________________
"You'd find it easier to be bad than good if you had red hair," said Anne reproachfully. "People who haven't red hair don't know what trouble is."
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08-29-2006, 11:12 PM
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Unrepentant
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Aldebaran
Posts: 766
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Quote:
vBulletin Message You have given out too much Reputation in the last 24 hours, try again later. @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ Don't sell yerself short. You're young yet. There's still time to join the WGA. (Or something like that the rep-thingie would've said.  )
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"He who is unable to live in society, or who has no need because he is sufficient for himself, must be either a Beast or a God." - Aristotle. |
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08-30-2006, 12:46 AM
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#22 | |
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Coin-Operated
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Planet of the Mad Robots
Posts: 7,643
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Quote:
Tonight, I see an unloader who keeps rubbing his chest and looking at me, rubbing harder and harder. This goes on and on. Me: Goddamnit, Greg. What the hell's wrong with your chest? Greg: ... Nothing... Me: Then quit playing with your nipples. Greg: ... Casey... Me: WHAT? Greg: Your tit's been popped out of your shirt like the whole time the produce truck's been here. I just assumed there was a breeze...
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The Queen Bee on the Outsider: She didn't have the right brand of lip gloss. SHE HAD TO BE DESTROYED. |
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08-30-2006, 07:20 AM
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#23 |
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mostly harmless
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 9,749
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It is odd, in those old pictures you just don't quite as Carrie-ish as in new ones. I liked the essay too--how few of us go through that process in such a distinct and deliberate way!
-Ed
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“I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity." --Eleanor Roosevelt
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08-30-2006, 08:35 AM
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#24 |
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Master Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,734
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Carrie, can I crash your thread with my own essay about cross country moving, or should I start my own?
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08-30-2006, 08:41 AM
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#25 |
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Queen of Contempt
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 3,449
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Amazing essay! And Misty, good luck to you.
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Adoption is a cool way to make your family bigger. |
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