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Old 10-31-2016, 08:55 AM   #51
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FatBarbieDoll View Post
My point was that I hope I'm not basically doomed to having only ugly dudes interested in me due to my size.

I don't think I'm entitled to a supermodel or a hunk but having a guy who is at least decent-looking want to be with me is nice.
I'm verging on being offended by your attitude, but instead I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Still, I do have a bit of advice: You'll attract better sorts of people with a better sort of attitude. Defeatism is unattractive, regardless of what you look like on the outside.

I am curious what you consider an "ugly dude," though. If I were to approach you, would you consider me worth dating or would I be an "ugly dude?" My picture is on my profile page. I'm looking for an honest answer. If I'm ugly to you, say so. You won't hurt my feelings.
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Old 10-31-2016, 06:35 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by FatBarbieDoll View Post
My point was that I hope I'm not basically doomed to having only ugly dudes interested in me due to my size.

I don't think I'm entitled to a supermodel or a hunk but having a guy who is at least decent-looking want to be with me is nice.
I suppose it would depend on what you consider an "ugly" dude.

A lot of people believe that men who prefer bigger women must be themselves undesirable in some way shape or form. Unfortunately some of the bigger girls I dated before I was married bought into that same narrative: wondering what was wrong with me that I wanted to date a fat woman. I think in some of those examples that was probably a symptom of an unhealthy sense of self worth, but the projection onto someone who was interested in them conveys a furtherance of the notion that men who prefer fat woman must not be firing on all cylinders.
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Old 10-31-2016, 08:40 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by FatBarbieDoll View Post
My point was that I hope I'm not basically doomed to having only ugly dudes interested in me due to my size.

I don't think I'm entitled to a supermodel or a hunk but having a guy who is at least decent-looking want to be with me is nice.
We all can appreciate beautiful people. However, we also need to be realistic. Myself, I know I'm not particularly good looking (my avatar is not too far off). I'm unlikely to spark the interest of females who are looking for a good looking guy. However, I am smart, educated, relatively successful, and pretty damn dependable (I've had several people use that decidedly not sexy adjective when describing me). Thus, I've never had that much trouble attracting decent quality females. They may not have been the prettiest girls in the room but they were often the most interesting.
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Old 11-01-2016, 11:45 AM   #54
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FatBarbieDoll View Post
My point was that I hope I'm not basically doomed to having only ugly dudes interested in me due to my size.

I don't think I'm entitled to a supermodel or a hunk but having a guy who is at least decent-looking want to be with me is nice.
Considering that you're on a forum with countless men who like fat women and have posted their pictures this is an insinuation so ugly that if it was a person you'd be repulsed if it dared hit on you.
You don't have to settle for anyone or feel grateful for any attention you get just because you're fat and I would never advocate the bullshit "beggars can't be choosers" sentiment. But reading someone considered (however unfairly) conventionally unattractive by society complain about only "ugly" guys being attracted to them is really hard to stomach. Maybe they're not desperate and settling for a fat woman because they're "ugly", maybe it's simply that being considered unattractive makes a person more likely to recognize that being considered physically attractive by societal standards is ultimately a small part of what makes someone worth being with.






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Sorry if I seem shallow.
You don't - shallowness still implies some measure of depth.
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Old 11-01-2016, 02:41 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by FatBarbieDoll View Post
My point was that I hope I'm not basically doomed to having only ugly dudes interested in me due to my size.

I don't think I'm entitled to a supermodel or a hunk but having a guy who is at least decent-looking want to be with me is nice.
This unsettled me a bit.

I think you are putting the same societal standards on others that you don't want them to apply to you. There are plenty of traditional smoking hot FA - model level, ripped, etc.

I would recomment looking for a guy you find attractive, instead of wanting a trophy guy (you didn't say unattractive, you said ugly, which is generally a societal value, not personal).

I don't care if my guy is attractive to anyone else - when his eyes soften my heart melts, when he grins my heart sings, and when he flaunts his body i flood my basement. I don't give a damn if someone else finds him sexy.

"10/10" women on the hot charts have ugly guys into them - and ugly women have ugly guys into them. It isn't being "doomed". It's just finding a guy you are attracted to; your size has nothing to do with "deserving" that imo. You just deserve to be happy and with a guy you find hot.
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Old 11-01-2016, 08:45 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by FatBarbieDoll View Post
My point was that I hope I'm not basically doomed to having only ugly dudes interested in me due to my size.

I don't think I'm entitled to a supermodel or a hunk but having a guy who is at least decent-looking want to be with me is nice.

Dear FatBarbieDoll....

I just dedicated way too much time reading most of your old post.
I am not one to write long explication and be politically correct, I really don't like to write in English!
I rely on TAD!! to post those replies! exp

BUT YOUR POST IS VERY UPSETTING!

You have posted some really nice pictures, as you stated you do have a pretty smile and like you said "Nice Teeth" - Go back read some of the replies to your post and pictures. You have received many nice replies and comments. Enjoy your positive feedback.
We are a nice community, just that some of us are Fat and others are people that like fat people.

Please keep in mind, that you are posting in the FA / FFA forum. Meaning a forum for people that are "FAT ADMIRERS and FEMALE FAT ADMIRERS" please don't come here judging our preferences. You stated that you will only get an "ugly" guy because of your size!! Your size has nothing to do with what you are attracting!

You will only "be doomed" if you are judging people by your first impressions. Hey, one of my friends only dates "bald" egg shaped guys. What you think is "ugly" she would consider super hot.

FatBarbieDoll you are entitled to be with someone that you are attacked you. Someone that you enjoy being with and mostly someone that makes you smile and laugh a lot. You are young, (I like to use the term: earn your stripes) find your way, ear your own money, TRAVEL! The world is full of people with different tastes and preferences! Have adventures and believe me when I tell you that "yes" FA are real, they are some really hot ones and they come in all shapes, sizes and colors!
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Old 11-02-2016, 01:42 AM   #57
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I've come to the thought that FatBarbieDoll hates herself for being fat. A skim of her (short) posting history tells me she's really hung up, in a bad way, about guys who may be attracted to her. She's a tangled mess of issues, and needs a professional to help sort them out. I don't know what she's after with this thread. It sure isn't advice, because she won't take any she's given.
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Old 11-02-2016, 02:00 AM   #58
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Default ^Interesting.....

I think what you're characterizing here is certainly real, in that it's, like, a thing, that exists, that happens with a lot of fat people, in general. Something anyone has to work past, more or less.

But I have a somewhat different conclusion as to the real purpose of this thread.
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Old 11-02-2016, 06:05 AM   #59
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Old 11-02-2016, 06:32 AM   #60
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Originally Posted by Yakatori View Post
I think what you're characterizing here is certainly real, in that it's, like, a thing, that exists, that happens with a lot of fat people, in general. Something anyone has to work past, more or less.

But I have a somewhat different conclusion as to the real purpose of this thread.
The majority of her posts on Dimensions, not just this thread, have been related to trying to understand a specific guy. Some of her posts seem unrelated until further questioning within the thread, she still is using him as the example. He is interested in having sex with her, but not being seen in public with her.

Sorry for being so blunt but... Whether he is a FA or not, he is toxic to her at best. I think because she keeps asking about FAs, it keeps the conversation from talking about that guy, and the rest of us have to keep saying, "not all FAs." The resolution to most of her questioning should really be focused on being hung up on a bad guy. Him possibly being a FA is actually unimportant.
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Old 11-02-2016, 01:44 PM   #61
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... He is interested in having sex with her, but not being seen in public with her.

...

She's his booty call. That's unlikely to change. She needs to decide if she's OK with the relationship as it is.

Same advise to mistresses and guys in the friend zone.

These are all categories that its almost impossible to upgrade from. If you're in one you have to either accept it or end the relationship.
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Old 11-04-2016, 11:46 AM   #62
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We all can appreciate beautiful people. However, we also need to be realistic. Myself, I know I'm not particularly good looking (my avatar is not too far off). I'm unlikely to spark the interest of females who are looking for a good looking guy. However, I am smart, educated, relatively successful, and pretty damn dependable (I've had several people use that decidedly not sexy adjective when describing me). Thus, I've never had that much trouble attracting decent quality females. They may not have been the prettiest girls in the room but they were often the most interesting.
Stop Whining -
You have danced with the most beautiful lady at the ball.

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Old 11-04-2016, 12:59 PM   #63
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Stop Whining -
You have danced with the most beautiful lady at the ball.


Who's whining -- I have indeed danced with beautiful women -- indeed there's one taking a shower upstairs right now.
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Old 11-04-2016, 01:45 PM   #64
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Another way to look at this occured to me today. I'm a big fan of this quote from Joseph Addison:

Quote:
Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
Not everyone's objective in life is happiness (indeed maybe only a minority of people?). But if happiness is (one of) your main objective(s), keep that in mind.

So I'd ask: Is this person someone you can love? Will be with them help you find worthwhile things to do, and will being with them make your life where hope can thrive?

If so, maybe you should think hard about it?
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Old 11-04-2016, 06:53 PM   #65
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Stop Whining -
You have danced with the most beautiful lady at the ball.

OMG! WOW!

<- Seconds the motion!
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Old 11-04-2016, 06:56 PM   #66
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Who's whining -- I have indeed danced with beautiful women -- indeed there's one taking a shower upstairs right now.
Who's whining!

Wishes she knew how to cross post between threads!
What made you LOL today
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Old 11-06-2016, 11:11 AM   #67
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Originally Posted by FatBarbieDoll View Post
My point was that I hope I'm not basically doomed to having only ugly dudes interested in me due to my size.

I don't think I'm entitled to a supermodel or a hunk but having a guy who is at least decent-looking want to be with me is nice.
Look at the Has There Ever Been a FA/BBW Couple Pic Thread?: http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/fo...ad.php?t=43387.
There are lots of good looking gents in love with their fat goddesses.
It seems to me mostly good looking men are interested in fat women.
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Old 11-07-2016, 12:34 AM   #68
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Originally Posted by DianaSSBBW View Post
Who's whining!

Wishes she knew how to cross post between threads!
What made you LOL today
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Old 11-07-2016, 10:31 PM   #69
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Thank you!

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Old 11-08-2016, 04:38 AM   #70
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Default Response...

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Originally Posted by Dromond View Post
I'm verging on being offended by your attitude, but instead I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt. Still, I do have a bit of advice: You'll attract better sorts of people with a better sort of attitude. Defeatism is unattractive, regardless of what you look like on the outside.

I am curious what you consider an "ugly dude," though. If I were to approach you, would you consider me worth dating or would I be an "ugly dude?" My picture is on my profile page. I'm looking for an honest answer. If I'm ugly to you, say so. You won't hurt my feelings.
No, I don't think you are ugly. Please do not judge my character or sense of self based on a few posts I make here. It is very difficult to decipher tone and often intent because you cannot see my face and gauge its reactions, so you are possibly misinterpreting what I am trying to say.

I am comfortable with my body for the most part, even though there are some things I'd like to change (these things have nothing to do with my size, BTW). I have posted a few photos of me in a bikini on my Facebook page -- and it's on the public setting -- so I must have SOME confidence.

I suppose my natural questioning and skeptical nature plays a part in my posts. I have a hard time figuring out, for example, if a dude is attracted to me or just looking for an easy lay and figures a large woman would take less effort due to the stereotypes.
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Old 11-08-2016, 06:50 AM   #71
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If you automatically suspect them, you are bringing your own baggage to the relationship, and forcing them into constantly justifying, placating, and proving themselves to you.

Either you think the guy likes you, or you don't. Your disbelief of them being capable of admiring you for your size is a symptom of lack of confidence.

There are men who would openly adore your body FOR it being fat.
There are guys who will like it and will not admit it.
There are guys who will not like you because of your body.
And there are guys who will not care if you are fat or thin, because they like you.

If a guy likes you, he likes you. Kick the one who treat you lile crap to the curb, find a guy you like, and believe him when he says annnnd treats you well.

Good luck!
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Old 11-09-2016, 12:06 AM   #72
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xyantha Reborn View Post
If you automatically suspect them, you are bringing your own baggage to the relationship, and forcing them into constantly justifying, placating, and proving themselves to you.

Either you think the guy likes you, or you don't. Your disbelief of them being capable of admiring you for your size is a symptom of lack of confidence.

There are men who would openly adore your body FOR it being fat.
There are guys who will like it and will not admit it.
There are guys who will not like you because of your body.
And there are guys who will not care if you are fat or thin, because they like you.

If a guy likes you, he likes you. Kick the one who treat you lile crap to the curb, find a guy you like, and believe him when he says annnnd treats you well.

Good luck!
I appreciate your and everyone else's input. I know I have some baggage -- most of us do. It's just that it is so hard to tell if a guy is truly attracted to me, using me, but not even attracted to me, convinced himself that he finds large bodies to be appealing because he does not think he can get a thin woman, etc. There really are people out there like this, so figuring out who is who is a daunting task for me and it's made even more difficult because I have been diagnosed with Asperger's.

It does not help that I found a massive Reddit thread made by someone asking men if they have ever slept with women to whom they were not attracted physically. Some of these men said the word "yes", which confounded my fears. I don't know for sure if these guys were being honest but, since so many of them answered in the affirmative, chances are that at least SOME of them were being honest.

The only strategy I can think of is to make a man wait a while for sex because, if he is interested in getting to know me as a person, he will stick around. This is no guarantee that he is attracted to me, though. Some men (women too) are desperate, so they will take whatever they can get and I don't wanna be a "better than nothing" for a dude.

Hopefully this makes sense.
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Old 11-09-2016, 12:26 AM   #73
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He HAS been seen in public with me. He has held my hand and kissed me in public too. I was just never introduced to his friends and family, possibly because we were never a couple and/or for other reasons. He claimed to be a very private person, so he may have not wanted a woman with whom he was not planning on getting serious to have access to his online life. Some people are hesitant to add those they are just fooling around with or even dating to their friends list because they worry that the person in question could, say, be a whacko and embarrass them.

I may never know exactly know why he rejected me but I have some likely-to-be-true theories.
Surely I cannot be blamed for wondering if he is embarrassed to have a fat girlfriend, which is at least one reason why he never committed to me, when I scrolled through his FB photos and saw a comment he left on a very thin woman's photo, calling her "pretty". Now, this does not prove that he is a closeted FA but, living in a fatphobic society does motivate me to get my guard up. There is also not one single iota of him being interested in large women on his profile.

He also recently posted a photo of himself with his arm wrapped around a woman, and old friend, from behind, wine glasses in both of their hands. This woman is also very thin. He could be what is called "bisizual" too, I get that. However, IMO, the photo that he was in with this woman was far too close and intimate for opposite sex, heterosexual friends to do. She has also been "liking" a lot more of his posts lately and commenting on some, which leads me to believe, coupled with the photo, that they are an item.
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Old 11-09-2016, 12:28 AM   #74
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He HAS been seen in public with me. He has held my hand and kissed me in public too. I was just never introduced to his friends and family, possibly because we were never a couple and/or for other reasons. He claimed to be a very private person, so he may have not wanted a woman with whom he was not planning on getting serious to have access to his online life. Some people are hesitant to add those they are just fooling around with or even dating to their friends list because they worry that the person in question could, say, be a whacko and embarrass them.

I may never know exactly know why he rejected me but I have some likely-to-be-true theories.
Surely I cannot be blamed for wondering if he is embarrassed to have a fat girlfriend, which is at least one reason why he never committed to me, when I scrolled through his FB photos and saw a comment he left on a very thin woman's photo, calling her "pretty". Now, this does not prove that he is a closeted FA but, living in a fatphobic society does motivate me to get my guard up. There is also not one single iota of him being interested in large women on his profile.

He also recently posted a photo of himself with his arm wrapped around a woman, and old friend, from behind, wine glasses in both of their hands. This woman is also very thin. He could be what is called "bisizual" too, I get that. However, IMO, the photo that he was in with this woman was far too close and intimate for opposite sex, heterosexual friends to do. She has also been "liking" a lot more of his posts lately and commenting on some, which leads me to believe, coupled with the photo, that they are an item.
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Old 11-09-2016, 08:35 AM   #75
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Sorry, I did not reread your other posts. But recalled there is a hidden reason on his part, that your relationship is not progressing. I don’t want to sound all negative, your questions have produced interesting dialogue within the FA forum, which often is lacking in new topics.

Have you considered looking at Feabie? It’s free online dating for FA/BBW/feeders/feedees. At the very least you will be interacting with people who you will know find you attractive. You will have to put up with some odd interactions (females do). Though the site pushes toward feeder/feedees, there are plenty of regular FAs on there. I met my current girlfriend on there, who is a perfect match for personality and looks. She says most people who use it seem to view it as Tinder for fat women. She has more experience with using it than I do.

I would say that you should post conservative pictures of yourself on there. A lot of women show skin and body parts on there, which may lead to you being viewed as more of a sexual object in my opinion. Have a selfie where you are smiling, and a picture showing your full body fully clothed.
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