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Old 05-01-2016, 04:22 PM   #26
Xyantha Reborn
- Actually Very Tame!
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
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Not forgotten; chapters are in progress and queued for posting this week!
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Old 05-04-2016, 07:49 AM   #27
Xyantha Reborn
- Actually Very Tame!
 
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Chapter 9 – The FA


I shan’t bore you to tears recounting the next several years. Suffice it to say; I worked. I lived. I dated. Work went well, dating not so much. And here we are.

It is about this time, astute readers that you are, that you will have begun to notice a sort of trend. Mainly I was having zero luck in love, but also that I was finally starting to admit that maybe I had overreacted with my breakup with Ed.

Oh, I never admitted that yet?

Well, I am now. It had only taken years to kind of, well, grow up.





Oh, shut up. Self-righteousness is not an attractive quality in a reader, fyi,

And yes, of course my first thought on actively realizing this was to think about hooking up with him. I’m a lonely, horny woman in her thirties, not a dunce. The thing is, I already know that he isn’t single, and have known it for some time.

Ah, good old Facebook, thou are a heartless bitch.

There are some absolutely lovely photos of his wife. Gorgeous turquois eyes the colour of vacation resort water, blond ringlets everywhere. A bit smile with perfectly white teeth. Basically looks like a fat Barbie doll. He unfriended me years ago, but occasionally I see one of our mutual acquaintances like a picture, and his wife does not keep her account locked down as tight as he does.

Sooo I kind of boned that opportunity, ok? But it kind of got me thinking – and don’t think too harshly of me – that maybe there was merit in the whole “hey I am a fatty at heart, let’s go with a guy who appreciates it.”

My next beau…was a fat admirer.

I swear, there was no intended duplicity…just…

I was tired. So tired. And getting old! Somehow I had wound up in my middl(ing to late) thirties in my mid-thirties! Jacks was married with children, and even Ruth was married to a rich guy, enjoying a life of jetting around. And here I was, going round and round in the same circles…Wake up alone, work alone, sleep alone. Try dating, fail dating. Lose some weight, gain some weight.

After Erich, there had been Joseph and Emanuel. Both were great guys. Read: gagging gesture about how vanilla they were.

That wasn’t all that had gone on to bring this circumstance about, however.

Me and the girls got into a nasty wicked fight a few months ago. I had no idea how angry I still was about the whole Ed thing until it began. I don’t even remember now what word or phrase tipped it over the edge, and I really don’t want to relive those moments, so let’s chalk it up to:

I think I confessed how much I missed Ed, and how stupid I was to have broken it off with him…

…And they agreed.

Now, I am sure you remember my conversation with them. If not, I refer you to Chapter Five. For them to agree after almost forcing me to break up with him…! I can still remember those judging looks, all these years later. I can still remember how horrible they made me feel. And yet, to hear them tell it, they just mentioned to me I might want to talk to him about it, and they never recommended breaking up or anything!

To be honest, I kind of thought the wound had been healed. That whole argument showed it was not only still raw, but maybe even a little festered. Just a wee little bit. I said some pretty mean things, but true things. Ed used to say “the truth will set you free”. And free it set me – from their friendship. I told them all of the things I probably should have talked about years ago. How I felt used, how I was the fat friend, how I resented their pity and scorn, and their apathy just as much. I feel a tad guilty about blindsiding them, but only a bit.

One reason I don’t want to dwell on this arguement, is that regardless of which of us was right about that conversation, the fact remained that I had trusted my best friend’s opinions and let it poison the best relationship with the best man I had ever known.

So what does a girl do, when said girl finally admits that she is a fatty, and as a fatty really enjoyed being with a guy who enjoyed her being a fatty too?

She Googles.

Oh, didn’t I tell you I plumped up again a bit? Nothing major, but without Erich to portion control every bite, some inevitable pudge came back. I just like food too much, and that feeling of being stuffed is irresistible. I still run and exercise, but it’s mostly just to keep in some sort of shape.

With the arrival of some of my old friends, I rediscovered something that I hadn’t realized I had been missing. Feeling feminine. I in no way wanted to be a blimp, but the feeling of my breasts shimmying above my bra cups, a tiny bit of a quiver in my thighs as I walked, and having an ass again was invigorating. Everything moved and shivered softly. There was a little roll that had formed on my tummy when I curled my legs up.

Oh no, the horror! As you can tell, I am greatly upset by these changes.

Anyway, so I Googled. Kind of didn’t take long to realize that there must be other fatty hustlers out there. There were support sites and even dating sites dedicated to it. There was a lot of creepy bullshit to sort through, as well as copious amount of dick pics, but eventually I found a guy that I seemed compatible with and was relatively local to me.

*~*~*

The restaurant was nice, I had to admit. “So…”

“Bobby.” He supplied, smiling with too many teeth, each of which was conspicuously white. It gave an uncanny resemblance to Cesar Milan, and made me want to not bare my own in case they were yellowed and stained.

“Yes, Bobby…” Drat. I’d have to remember his name. Though why such a simple name kept slipping my mind was beyond me.

“What are you going to eat tonight, Beth?” he practically purred as he eye fucked me.

Now, I had spent a bit of time in front of the mirror before heading out. Normally I spent a fair amount of time trying to find an outfit that generally minimized curves A while maximizing curves B. Halfway through ripping apart my closet I started laughing at myself. Yes, make sure you look skinny for the chubby chaser!

What had made Ed drool? I had felt so badly about myself in my twenties that I had practically worn mumus and tents, until they got tight enough that Ed couldn’t keep his hands off me. Erich had been a douche, but I had gotten a lot more confident since leaving him. I had felt so repressed when with him that I busted out of that relationship with a pretty damn strong determination to be who I wanted to be.

Still wasn’t sure exactly who she was yet, but the sentiment holds.

I thought I looked pretty sassy in some strappy black heels that cut slightly into my plump ankles. Retaining a great deal of muscle, my legs looked thick and strong, and were hugged by a tight black skirt. It was one of those that was tight right until the knees. With my hips and ass, it caused a dramatic ‘V’ shape despite the thick, plush thighs beneath. And my hips and ass had always been big enough that my ankles looked proportionally delicate. The skirt came to my belly button, cupping the swell of soft pudge below my navel. Above, a blousy shirt hinted at softness without being tight, and my soft arms were exposed courtesy of the sleeveless nature. The top three buttons were open, leaving some cleavage bare below a pearl necklace.

Top it off with a simple updoo, a pair of black glasses, some mascara and some red lipstick? Sexy teacher, out to school some boyos!

His openly admiring looks were making me feel rather risqué, and I couldn’t help but grin back at him. “Well. I dunno. What do you recommend?”

“Everything.”

Now, I misinterpreted his meaning to be that he recommended everything, not that he wanted me to eat everything. So when he ordered several appetizers and he delicately held up the first torpedo shrimp for me to eat out of his fingers, I was a little taken aback at the directness.

“Here goes nothing,” I muttered, flashing a smile before biting into the shrimp. It was good, and I made a sound of appreciation that made him grin. It was kind of cute, and kind of sexy to have him dote on me so.

We (I) munched our way through the first two appetizers, and by the end I was feeling full enough that I doubted my ability to finish my dinner. He had chosen fried shrimp and a heavy mushroom neptune, both of which were sitting like logs in my stomach. The whole hand feeding thing was cute, but was growing a bit monotonous. He seemed to enjoy it though.

What was his name again? Bobby. That was it.

I was on the lookout for similarities, so soon found parallels in what I recalled of Ed’s behaviours. The oogling and shameless encouragement of me eating were far more direct than what I remembered, but a lot of time had gone by since I had been with Ed, so I was confident that I had just grown unused to it. Having my fat and appetite be such an obvious point of conversation and action for the evening felt rather odd.

“I’m feeling really full,” I confessed when I had taken several bites of my pasta, and eaten about half the bread at his insistence. It was not a lie; my already snug skirt was beginning to feel tight, and my stomach was sending warning signals that it was nearly at capacity.

“Nonsense!” Abruptly changing sides from the opposite side of the booth to mine, he gave me a long kiss as he placed a large hand on my belly, massaging softly.

I’m not going to lie. Both his lips and hand felt damn good, and I loved take charge men. Although initially startled, it rapidly melted into feelings of hot excitement. When he tugged my blouse of my skirt, then slid the band of the skirt under my swollen tummy, I felt an oddly familiar thrill of erotic shame. His hand, when he snuck it under my blouse, was almost hot against my skin.

“You are beautiful,” he murmured, kissing me again. His lips were warm and firm against mine, and his tongue delved into mine. “And you taste good,” he rasped.

When I opened my eyes, there was a forkful held out for me to take. Resigned, I obediently chewed and swallowed. “You know I’m going to get big as a house if you try and do this every night.”

That was apparently the wrong thing to say if I meant to discourage him, because the telltale bulge in his pants became even more pronounced, his pupils dilated, and he swallowed thickly. “Nah, you are so skinny. You’ve never even been truly fat before.”

“Actually, I was almost two hundred and forty pounds at one point,” I responded.

He liked that. A lot. His mouth came back down on mine, and his hand gently rubbed the width of my tummy.

It had been a long, long time since my belly had gotten any loving, and I felt my panties start to get damp at the prospect of those gently strokes on my chest and between my legs. I had come with the idea that sex was on the table, and the carpet been trimmed. Heck, it even matched the drapes!

I was pretty stuffed by the time he was done feeding me my dinner. When he got icecream I could only groan in protest, but he nibbled on my ears, kissed my collar bone, and nuzzled my neck until I opened my mouth. Each cold bite was held in my mouth until it liquefied and slipped down my gullet. Eyes closed, I enjoyed the experience and the sensation of him touching and feeding me. Usually I was alone when I allowed myself to gorge like this, and I couldn’t help but feel spoiled that I could sit back with my eyes closed while I was fed and my belly fondled.

I had drunk a bit, but not enough to account for the how drunk I felt as he helped me to his car, and giggled as he half hefted me into the passenger seat. He was talking, but I could not listen to anything other than the gurgle of my overloaded stomach. It felt inexorably heavy, bulging out and being tugged at by gravity. Each step caused it to bounce. That bounce caused a jiggle to start on one side, travelling diagonally down to the lower opposite side of my belly.

It was only when he had buckled me in to the passenger seat and leaned it back a few inches that I realized my pale belly was exposed to the world. At some point during the evening, he had undone the bottom several buttons so that the entire ensemble was only held on my two buttons over my bra. With a sort of impressed detachment, I saw that the shirt flared open to expose my belly. When he put the seatbelt on, he had tucked it under my belly. The bottom of each panel was caught under a heavy roll of flesh and belt, pulling it taught against my skin

My skin that jiggled with every bump in the road. Moaning, I cradled it in both hands to try and stop the motion, which was making me queasy.

He was so beside himself with excitement he could barely keep both hands on the wheel. Given how often he had his eyes locked on me, I am frankly surprised we didn’t crash. And when I swung my legs out in preparation to stand my overloaded skirt made a ripping noise. A telltale bit of cool air slipped in where the zipper fabric had separated from the rest of the skirt.

He practically whimpered.

Dayum. This was more fun than I remembered.
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Old 05-20-2016, 10:25 AM   #28
Xyantha Reborn
- Actually Very Tame!
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
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Chapter 10 – Fun!

I had gone into this with eyes wide open, anticipating some of the touching and food that was to come. And I had to admit…it was kind of fun!

There was something really awesome about a guy who was so, so, so into my body. Maybe other girls felt this from the start. I mean, if Ruth and Jacks had been any indication, I would assume they did. But for a girl like me? This was kind of a first. Even Ed had just been really affectionate. He hadn’t worshipped by body like this. Though, in all fairness, I wouldn’t have let him back then.

I was reclining into Bobby as we watched the TV. A plate of cheesecake rested on the top of my tummy. His right hand was currently caressing it and my thighs, while the left guided bites to my mouth. With Bobby, sex, food and cuddling were kind of like a venn diagram, and I was at the centre!

“So, when did you learn that you liked fat girls?” I asked as a commercial came on, cranking my head around to look at him. The light of the commercials flashed over his face, and I probed for any sign of deception.

“Always have,” he responded simply, and to all appearances, honestly. “From as far back as I could remember. I can’t really explain it to you, but I find fat girls incredibly sexy. Especially women with a healthy appetite like yours,” he teased, planting a kiss on my nose.

Well, I couldn’t deny that. Part of the fun of the past few weeks of dating Bobby had been just letting go of my diet, and it was starting to show.

Bobby’s tanned hand slipped under the bulge of ivory (it sounds better than pasty, no?) belly in my lap. It was now big enough that he could do that. My body seemed as determined to lap up every calorie as my tongue was, and the result was some pretty astounding weight gain. Although my fat ass was covering any sign of it, I could feel my underwear were straining, hanging on for dear life. They were unable to combat the substantial bulge of that that forced the waistband down, and my ass cheeks kept seeming to swallow the fabric struggling to cover my cheeks. My thighs had also thickened considerably. Maybe it was the quick gain, but the texture seemed a little more quaggy, a little more cellulite-y than a few weeks ago. Which I found a little gross, but Bobby seemed to think was hot as hell. My upper arms, face, and breasts had also softened, but it seemed to stick like glue to my gut and love handles. The love handles in particular were new, and bulged out against every shirt, straining above every pair of pants.

“Want to get on the scale?” He murmured abruptly.

I could feel his erection pressing into the small of my back as he patted my gut. A part of me cringed, but I assented with only a small grumble. Mostly because it was something that I had been wanting to do for a while but couldn’t quite bring myself to do. The years of weigh ins with Erich had dulled some of my panic around the scales, but I was still a coward at heart.

Bobby squirmed out from under me, hauling me upright gently and ushering me into the bathroom.

Everything felt heavy; I knew the result was not going to be pleasant to me, which meant it would probably be awesome to Bobby. In fact, his erection was visible beneath his sweats.

“I’m excited to see what a naughty girl you have been,” he purred into my ear as he forced me to pause before the mirror.

When he hefted and released my paunch with both hands, it actually dropped, a big ripple spreading across the jelly like surface. It was impossible to hide the grimace that flitted over my face. Not only was the visual gross, having parts of my body heaved around like that was fairly unpleasant. That jiggle too…ohhh boy, this was not going to be pretty.

One plump foot crept on the scale, the other following equally as hesitantly. I leapt off.

I had never told him how much I weighed, but I turned around and met his eyes squarely. “Ten,” I told him. I couldn’t help but chuckle at how frisky he got; it really brought Ed to mind.


*~*~*

Faster than I would have thought, it started to get a little old. I mean, don’t get me wrong. This had been like an awesome, kinky vacation. But I wouldn’t want to live there, you know? Not to mention that although I had actually accepted some pudge on my body, the addition of new pounds only seemed to make me want to eat more, not less. And as fun as I had thought eating was, it was becoming a kind of chore.

“What do you want to do today?” I queried with a smile as I opened the door.

He stepped inside, planting a warm kiss on my lips. “I’d love just to sit around and watch tv and snack with you,” he murmured into my ear as one hand fastened onto the jelly roll above my pants, massaging like he was trying to get the filling out.

A wave of irritation caught me offguard, but after a split second realized it was because Bobby kept after my fat bits the way Erich had focused on my breasts or ass. I was and am more than the sum of my belly, breasts, and ass! I was not an ambulatory blow up doll! “That sounds…nice. But I was thinking of maybe going out for a hike today,” I countered, throwing out a winning smile. “We haven’t really done anything that involves us getting out and actually doing stuff, you know?”

He made the same face that others made when biting into a lemon; his nose wrinkled, eyes half shutting and his lips curling in distaste. “Really? A hike?”

I stared up at him in some consternation and no little bit of exasperation. “Yeah, you know that thing that people do, when they drive out to the country and walk along manicured trails, pretending to connect with nature? Then stop for icecream on the way home?”

He shot me a narrow eyed look, swiping his dark locks back from his forehead. “So…you aren’t doing this to lose weight?”

“Lose weight – what? No! I mean, I love exercising, but I don’t do it just to lose weight. And even if I was trying to lose weight, a leisurely stroll in the country wouldn’t accomplish anything. I’ve lose weight before, Bobby, so I know what it takes. And I’ve let myself go over the past few years – and oh, they have been good years.” So damn good...! “But that doesn’t mean I want to turn into your own personal fat bouncy castle.”

He didn’t look particularly happy, and was in a pretty poor humour the whole hike, but mellowed slightly when I got icecream on the way home.

*~*~*

And then it got real creepy, real fast.

I think everyone has said something weird during sex, but this had struck me as just…a little, tinsey, eeinsy bit not sexy.

Bobby was still pounding away above me, but my brain had just come to a screeching halt and flicked the turn-on switch to the ‘off’ position with a “wtf?!” look on her face.

Why?

Well, he had just grunted away in my ear, and I quote:

“Oh baby.

I love your body.

You turn me on so much.

Fuck yeah.

You fat little piggy.”

Uhh…say, what?

Once he had wrapped up – at least he was courteous enough to try and finish me too despite me being the farthest thing from turned on – I sat up. My belly pushed out between us, and suddenly it felt weird, so I half dragged a sheet over to cover myself. “So…look. I know this is probably a bad time to discuss this, but I never asked this before and you seem to want me fatter. And I mean, I’m at least fifteen, maybe twenty pounds heavier than when we met. Sooo…how big are you thinking I am going to get? How big are you imagining?” The asshat had called me a PIG!

“I don’t have a number…”

Oh, grow up. “Mkay, bud, here is how this is going to work. We are going to have an adult conversation about this, or we are done. I’ve been down this road before and I’ve realized I don’t like surprises. Either we are on the same page, or we aren’t. So, what weight do you generally like your girls to be?”

Finally, after mumbling and moaning and making a way bigger deal out of this than was needful, he finally admitted that he liked girls between the three hundred and four hundred mark.

Four hundred pounds???

“Never, ever going to happen,” I advised him, tone flat. “I mean, this had been fun, and I don’t mind being pudgy and all. But that will never, ever happen.”

And apparently, that was a deal breaker.

You’d think that he would have said something about that, coming into the relationship. Jerk.

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Old 05-20-2016, 12:25 PM   #29
Xyantha Reborn
- Actually Very Tame!
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
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Chapter 11At the Beginning

“Happy birthday dear Beh-eth – ”

One syllable names never fit nicely…

“ - Happy birthday to yoouuuuuu!”

Clapping rose up, and after a moment one of my cousins began with, “Are you one? Are you two? Are you…?”

“Don’t start that!” I groused, feeling cross. It was my forty-fifth birthday, but it might as well have been my one hundred and eleventh. I felt old and out of place at my family gatherings. My cousins and even my brother had children. Nieces, nephews, cousins and grandchildren ran amok as the family groups intermingled. I was literally the only one without a kid. And the only reason I was not the only one who was not married was that cousin Dan had gotten a divorce last year, so technically speaking he was unmarried.

After several hours of mandatory torture I was able to slip out the back door where the children were playing. The sun was baking the front of the house, and all of the family had gone inside. Under pretense of checking something, I slipped out of the gate and into my car, taking off.

There was nothing absolutely horrid; it was our little game. They tried to trap me. I tried to escape. All in good fun…especially when I was successful in escaping! Over the years all of the comments that made it particularly uncomfortable had faded away. My weight had gone up and down through the years, and I was by no means at my heaviest now, so no one made a peep on that score. I had even passed by the salutary questions of when I was going to settle down and have a family. At forty I seemed to have been crowned with the honourary title of “confirmed bachelorette”.

Years of habit always prevented me from eating in front of family and friends to the extent that made me full, and so I allowed myself to pull into an all you can eat sushi buffet. “For one, please,” I advised the staff. As I bypassed the line of people I had to admit that although going everywhere alone was trying, the upside was that you tended to get seated faster.

This wasn’t where I had wanted to be when I imagined my life approaching fifty. Some days I felt pretty lonely, but most days I felt pretty all right. My business had picked up over the years, and I had found a real estate partner who regularly hooked me up with additional high end clientele. My little one bedroom apartment would be paid off at the end of this year, and I was seriously considering taking a month off to go abroad. It had been a few years since I even tried to seriously date anyone. Dating at this point was exhausting and pointless, so I only tended to go out on a handful of dates with men who were lonely but had just got out on the other side of a bad marriage and were not looking for commitment.

It worked out well, generally speaking.

But I still felt emotionally worn out. Glancing around at the other patrons, I eyed the families as well as the singles. There was a large party at one end of the restaurant, with several families spread out in the intervening space. Luckily there was not any very young children, so at least the meal would be quiet. Seated to my left was a young woman and three men of varying ages. My eye snagged on the glance of the older man, who quickly resumed looking at his plate as if he had never been staring.

If that had been all, I probably wouldn’t have mentioned it, but whenever he thought I was not looking, he fastened his gaze on me intently.

Now, I was no stranger to the stares. A rather pudgy woman, eating alone at an all you can eat buffet? Pretty easy (and broad) target. And to be honest I was thoroughly enjoying the food, rewarding myself for not murdering my relations by soothing my frayed nerves with boatloads of fish and rice.

I had just shoved a piece of salmon sushi into my mouth when my eye once more slid his way. They were not on my face, but rather below the lip of the table. Being on a slightly raised platform booth, I was about two feet above the other tables. A furtive pass of my hand over my tummy revealed that my jeans zipper was undone, along with my button. Oops.

He was pretty average looking in every way. That sort of ‘dad’ look that some older men obtained as they aged. With his shiny head and dark eyes, he looked more like he should be watching a soccer practice than causing trouble. Although his expression was not malicious, he was still staring, which was rude.

With that safety assessment completed, I allowed myself to be irritated and determined on making him uncomfortable. Carefully easing my tummy free of my pants, I letting my shirt roll up slightly. My eyes were locked on the middle aged man, who had a middle aged spread himself. Ostensibly, his eyes were looking at a picture at the end of the room, but I felt like he was carefully ‘not looking’ while observing me. My suspicions were confirmed; when I did that his face went red right up onto the top of his bald head. He swallowed hard, choked on his sushi, and went for his drink. When he finally stopped spluttering and coughing, he darted a guilty look my way.

I couldn’t help it, he had such an abashed expression that I stuck out my tongue at him in a brief, instinctively childish gesture.

After a flash of surprise, his face dissolved into a grin that changed his whole face, lighting it up with mischief.

Something weird wriggled below my sternum, and I got such a strong, odd flash of déjà vu that it was like a palpable blow. Despite his features not being exactly as I remembered, something about the cast of features, that grin... Dropping any appearance of pretending not to notice him. I peering hard, even putting on my glasses to see him more clearly. “…Ed?” I hazarded, or rather blurted, in a squeak.

Standing, he took another look himself. “Oh my god. Beth?”

Having fully expected to see a cold response, I was completely taken aback when realization kindled, and he looked pleased to see me. “Y…Yes,” I squeaked. My eyes darted to his left hand, then to his right just to be sure. No band of precious metal encircled the fourth finger of either hand, and despite his summer tan, no telltale ring of pale flesh was visible where the ring should sit.

“Oh my God!” he blurted again, throwing down his napkin and advancing. “I can’t believe it! You look fabulous!” he gushed, casting a more obvious and clearly appreciative glance over me. “You haven’t aged a day!”

Obeying the impulse of my heart, I quickly swung my legs out of the booth, standing to give him a hug. “It is so good to see you,” I said without the slightest bit of pretense. He looked older, fatter, and had gone completely bald, but that same twinkle was in his eyes, that same naughty grin tugged at his lips. The intervening years had added lines, radiating from his eyes as he smiled. As always, his good humour and admiring glances instantly made him more attractive.

His arms had slid from around me reluctantly, and he ran a hand over his head.

The habitual gesture made me smile; when we were young, he used to fluff his hair with that gesture. Now, he rubbed the shiny surface. “I…” Biting my tongue hard, I pasted on a smile. “I heard you were married years ago; how is your wife?”

“Ex,” he amended quickly, casting a furtive glance into my eyes. “We broke up a few years ago.” His tone was guardedly hopeful as he added, “You?”

I was already shaking my head. “Nah…not me.” Internally, I was screeching and jumping up and down, whooping and shaking. Why are you so excited? I demanded of myself. Miiinnnneeee, came the response, instantly and aggressively. A sort of desperate need to clutch his arm rising. “I just…I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” He asked, familiar dark eyes widening in concern. When he frowned, lines deepened between his brows.

“For breaking up with you all those years ago over something so stupid. I wanted to tell you for ever and ever, but at first I was too stubborn and angry, then you were in a relationship and it would have been awkward...”

His own head was already shaking before I had a chance to complete the sentence. “No, Beth,” he said with quiet gravity. “You were absolutely right to do it. I had been dishonest and underhanded, and I hurt you. I never meant to hurt you, and I really had convinced myself you knew I liked…”

“Fat girls?” I offered when he stumbled to a halt.

“Yeah.”

The awkward pause of two people who have not seen each other for decades descended. “So…will you sit with me?” I asked softly, feeling my heart thunder in my chest. Say yes, you idiot!

His voice was hoarse. “I would like that. I would like that a lot.”

Yess. Biting my lip, I glanced up at him before sliding into the booth. I had clutched that remembrance of safety and affection with me for so long that I had been sure that exposure to him would show it was all through the rose tinted glasses of time. But instead, I felt like I had only been remembering a shell of the emotion. His ready appreciation, his smiles, and his eagerness to talk more greatly cheered and encouraged me.

He slid in as well, flashing a smile that caused my tummy to flipflopas. “If you see the waitress, flag her down for me so that she doesn’t think I dined and dashed, will you?”

I nodded, looking down. My residual embarrassment was quelled with a chuckle.

He immediately noticed the change in my mood. “What?”

Well, his old sensitivity had not been lost over the years. “I realized my pants are still undone. I kind of had this ‘Oh no, what have you done…wait, nevermind. Somehow I don’t think he’ll mind’ moments. It’s kind of how I started to recognise you, you know.”

His cheeks turned ruddy again. “Ha, uh, well…” The subject seemed to make him highly uncomfortable.

A couple things cemented for me that I had already subconsciously acknowledged. One was that his secrecy all those years ago had stemmed from nothing more than fear. And the other was that my experiences, although shitty, had taught me to be comfortable with my size and his type of preference…while he was still stuck in that place.

“You don’t have to feel weird about it,” I quietly offered. “I kind of realized I am I doomed to be, at minimum, pudgy forever. And I kind of like being curvy.”

Ed’s expressions had always been open and artless, and he now looked awed, as though I had said something that had just shifted his whole universe.

For my part, I kind of felt like the world was shifting for me too. I felt like I had been spinning in useless circles for years, never able to get on a straight track. It felt like…well, it will sound silly, but remember that scene in the first LOTR movie, where Bilbo drops the one ring on the floor and it just thuds? Kind of like that. Like, this was no innocently passing moment. All of that whirling and swirling just – thud.

This was it, go SWAT team of courage, gogogogogogogo! “Are you seeing anyone?” I breathed, leaning closer.

His head instinctually turned towards mine as he shook his head, pupils dilating. “Nope.”

“Do you want to be?” I whispered, catching his hand. If he couldn’t feel my pulse pounding in every vein I would be shocked.

That head nodded enthusiastically, that grin spreading over his face. When I placed his palm on my tummy, pressing it lightly into the flesh with my own, he shivered, wriggling like a boy in delight. He also looked a little spooked, but that faded as he swept a gently thumb along it’s curve, and his eyes hooded.

“Because she is kind of fat,” I continued in a tone of mock regret. “And kind of unlikely to get skinny at any point in her life.”

The poor man looked like he had been stunned by something heavy to the head, and he made an inarticulate sound that sounded like “Uhhnn.”

“Now my only question is…how heavy would you want me?” Because four hundred points was still not an option, no way, no how!

“I’m not that kind of guy anymore,” he protested, pulling his hand away from the flesh he had been absently caressing to take both my hands in his. “I swear I won’t – ”

“Because I could give you like, ten pounds.” Glancing at the desert menu, I conceded, “Maybe twenty.” Seeing him look almost crosseyed, I laughed at him. “I’m actually lighter right now than I usually am. I could definitely see me enjoying food with you again and putting on twenty. Of course, I’ve always had no self control, and seeing how much you enjoyed watching me eat, it’s more likely to be forty…”

Yes. I was torturing him. And if his whimper of “You…you’re mean!” was any indication, he was enjoying it as well.

I shrugged and took up the icecream. “Well, I’m going to enjoy this whether you are here or not.” I spooned a mouthful in, moaning audibly at the creamy taste.

He looked incensed and horny. Hot and bothered, as the saying went. “Why are you doing this?” He exclaimed in a tone of genuine distress.

“Because I want it. And torturing you is so fun!” I chortled at last. “Hey!”

Evading my half-hearted swipe at the bowl, he gently turned my face towards him by firmly taking my chin between his fingers. “I told you. I’m not that kind of guy anymore. I mean it.”

“So you wouldn’t like to see me eat that icecream?”

He growled at me.

“Because I don’t need it. But I reaaally want it.”

The bowl wavered, lowered... “I don’t want to give you the wrong impression. I messed up everything between us before, I don’t want you to think that I just like you for your body. You are so much more than that…”

“I know.” He darted a glance at me, and I shrugged. “Look. I know that if we spend any about of time together I’m going to get fat. And I know that you think it’s hot when I am eating, and when I put on weight.” Why did he look so uncomfortable? It was me that should have been feeling uncomfortable, even if I wasn’t.

After a moment, he swallowed. “Well, maybe, I could, you know, help by not letting you eat it?” he asked rather desperately.

“Really?”

He nodded, so foolishly earnest.

I turned my face to the bowl of melting icecream and pouted. “I’ve got an empty, aching part of my soul that can only be filled by icecream…”

Ed groaned, his resolve crumbling just like that. The bowl was shoved towards me with a helpless mien.

“See?” I gloated, feeling zesty.

He raised his head from his hands from where it had fallen, glaring at me. “You are mean! I don’t remember you being so mean.”

Well, life had toughened my skin somewhat, and I was more apt to speak my mind… “Maybe you should try and eat some of it away from me,” I teased, poking his own middle which hung out over his belt.

He gave a sort of gasp, stiffening.

If I hadn’t known him, if I hadn’t dated another fatty chaser, I might have misinterpreted it. I slowly placed my own palm on his tummy. It felt warm and firm beneath my hand – firmer than my own belly, at least. “Ha!...you like being fat too, don’t you?”

He flinched as if it had been an accusation.

“You so do!” I pinched an inch, and he grunted. “Good.”

“Good? How is it good?” his face was incredulous, and he half raised an arm to fend me off.

There was a humourous side to this, at least in my opinion. “Serves you right for trying to make me fat, then you ended up fat.”

“Yeah well, I’m not likely to be skinny again either,” he groused.

Meh. “Good. It suits you. Now, you still haven’t answered my question about my weight.”

“Screw your weight!” he exclaimed in disgust. “It was never about your weight, it was always about you. I wouldn’t care if you lost twenty pounds or gained twenty, so long as you were happy! I’m not one of those guys who can’t get it up without you…” he stumbled to a halt.

Probably because I was giggling at his awkward references to his own preference. “What if I was oh, I don’t know…four hundred pounds?”

He looked horrified. “No! That’s way too big! You were perfect when we were dating. You are perfect now!”

“That was the correct answer,” I hastened to assure him, for the poor man really was looking distressed. “I don’t mind being fat, but I don’t want to be huge, you know?”

After a long minute of silence, he flashed his eyes up to meet mine. “So, does that mean we are dating? Well then…may I kiss you?”

Reader…it was the best kiss I had ever had. I do not think there are words in the English language to describe the simply blossoming of joy, the feeling of everything falling into place. My heart literally felt like it would burst, like everything in my soul burst into song all at once. Do not think for a minute that even to this day I do not marvel at the luck of that meeting, or pine for the years wasted - but dwelling does no one any good.

I had thrown something away all those years ago, not understanding the value.

I had spent the intervening years trying to fill a gaping whole, trying to manufacture a bliss to follow.

It was only when his warm lips covered mine, when his forehead pressed into mine as our breaths mingled, that I realized…

Ed was my bliss.
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Old 05-20-2016, 01:20 PM   #30
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That mushy, romantic, ending was EXACTLY what I needed on this Friday-afternoon-before-a-long-weekend-and-after-a-VERY-long-workweek. Just perfect. Thank you so much!
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Old 05-20-2016, 02:37 PM   #31
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Awwww! Xy, you romantic, you!
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Old 05-20-2016, 08:48 PM   #32
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Sometimes you gotta be mushy!!!
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Old 05-21-2016, 01:54 PM   #33
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I think its clear that I'm a sucker for mushy, so I heartily approve

I love that she stuck her tongue out at him right before she figured out who he was...cheeky indeed; great finish!
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