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Old 09-17-2016, 01:36 AM   #1
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Default Question for BBW/SSBBWs

I have kind of a question that seems pretty basic but I could use some help. I really like BBWs and SSBBWs, but I don't really know how to approach them. Like at bars / clubs etc. I know that bars and clubs aren't the best places to meet a girl in general, so if anyone has any suggestions on where to meet girls other than at bars / clubs that would be helpful too. But when I go to a bar, if I do see a girl that I am interested in, I don't really know what to say. I'm shy in that I try to be respectful of boundaries, so if the conversation moves to flirting, I want to make sure that I don't offend someone by saying something like "I really like your body" (just as an example I try not to be crude), when she is going to the gym every day trying to lose weight or something. Or if I say something like "I like big girls" (I wouldn't something like that blatant), but I wouldn't want to offend her. Do any of the girls on here have any ideas on how I can approach a BBW / SSBBW without either seeming creepy or offending someone?

Thank You.
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Old 09-17-2016, 04:28 AM   #2
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You approach like you would any girl out there. You don't even need to mention physical attraction or preference as that can be inferred by your approach. If she moves to flirt, makes eye contact, smiles, etc, maybe she is open to introducing yourself. A good opening line is, "Hi, I'm _____. What's your name?" Then let a conversation develop from there. If it goes well ask to follow up with a coffee/drink or something like that. It's gotta be low stakes at first. Be friendly and be yourself and you'll find you don't even need to make mention of her appearance. If you do, compliment her smile, hair, etc... but stay away from her body until you're more familiar. Oh, and don't for get to do a ring check before you start.

I hope this helps.
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Old 09-17-2016, 11:40 AM   #3
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I agree with HM. No girl wants to feel like you are only interested in them for their body or the way they look and by immediately bringing up how attractive you find their body you are ruining your chances with most women. This applies just as much to skinny women as to SSBBW. Just get to know them, talk to them. They are going to be aware that they are fat and that if you approached them, you like/don't mind that. There isn't any need to start confessing your undying lust to a total stranger.
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Old 09-17-2016, 12:13 PM   #4
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Thanks. I was talking about after the conversation has moved past the hi how are you part and general getting to know someone and was more in the flirting stuff. Like if she was thick or fat and asked what I like sexually and I said that I like fat girls, I wouldn't want to send someone that wasn't comfortable into a tailspin if that makes sense.
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Old 09-17-2016, 05:11 PM   #5
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I have to concur with the others...just talk to her likes a normal person. Talking about her body/your sexual preferences is a later conversation. Worry about getting to know her and perhaps being able to communicate with her later. I wouldn't like it if the whole damn convo quickly steered to your dick and what it wants. Don't assume she is down on herself and needs it laid out for her immediately. It's an insulting assumption. She may have had a lot of suitors in her time and doesn't need you to say I dig your fat ass and suddenly the heavens open up for her. (yes I'm being a smartass but I hope you get my point?) Treat her as an attractive woman....and she will pick up on it, no worries.

Unless this whole conversation really IS about you just wanting to do the deed RIGHT NOW. Fat women are like all others...some of us want to wait to know you better whilst others may just want a quick hit. She will let you know what it is she prefers...
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Old 09-17-2016, 06:25 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy View Post
I have to concur with the others...just talk to her likes a normal person. Talking about her body/your sexual preferences is a later conversation. Worry about getting to know her and perhaps being able to communicate with her later. I wouldn't like it if the whole damn convo quickly steered to your dick and what it wants. Don't assume she is down on herself and needs it laid out for her immediately. It's an insulting assumption. She may have had a lot of suitors in her time and doesn't need you to say I dig your fat ass and suddenly the heavens open up for her. (yes I'm being a smartass but I hope you get my point?) Treat her as an attractive woman....and she will pick up on it, no worries.

Unless this whole conversation really IS about you just wanting to do the deed RIGHT NOW. Fat women are like all others...some of us want to wait to know you better whilst others may just want a quick hit. She will let you know what it is she prefers...
There's no need to be a smartass. I was talking specifically about when the content of the conversation had moved to flirting. I probably should have said that I don't know how to approach a relationship with a fat girl because I know how to literally talk to a person. To say that a fat girl is like every other girl is like saying that every girl is the same. I was wondering, from a girls perspective, if there was a way to be emotionally thoughtful regarding weight when the content of our conversation moved to flirting.

Like if I met a girl and she asked what I liked sexually and I said that I like fat girls, and she was trying to lose weight or didn't think she was fat, I was trying to know how to avoid putting someone in an emotional tailspin.

There's probably really no way to know how someone will respond emotionally. A thick girl might like being called a BBW and a really fat girl might not like being called fat. I was not talking about quick bangs or objectifying strangers. I didn't mean to sound like a jerk or confuse anybody.
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Old 09-18-2016, 12:01 AM   #7
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I was trying to know how to avoid putting someone in an emotional tailspin.

There's probably really no way to know how someone will respond emotionally.
Just a little advice...
Until you have gotten to know a female and until you know what words and phrases she is comfortable with, I would think it would be in YOUR best interests to avoid using the "I like FAT girls" self description, unless, of course you met on a fat friendly website or event. Mainstream still views the word fat in a negative way. If a female is not familiar with sites like this, she may be self-conscious, and may take your "I like FAT girls" as you having a fetish or that you are one of those guys that think big women are easy. Choose your words carefully, and with respect until SHE reveals what she is comfortable with. I'd rather hear a new interest profess that he is into curvy, very curvy, or big women. Then that opens the door for ME to ask him about the actual size of women that he is attracted to! (....this from a larger SSBBW)
And don't be pawing and feeling up her fat rolls until you know she's completely comfortable with that! or you might end up sporting a nice hand print or be groaning in agony!
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Old 09-25-2016, 02:18 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by sun shine View Post
Thanks. I was talking about after the conversation has moved past the hi how are you part and general getting to know someone and was more in the flirting stuff. Like if she was thick or fat and asked what I like sexually and I said that I like fat girls, I wouldn't want to send someone that wasn't comfortable into a tailspin if that makes sense.
Hot damn. Is that really you in your profile photo?
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Old 09-25-2016, 07:48 AM   #9
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In my experience, BBWs will pick up on you being interested in them by your flirting with them. They will either outright ask about your preference or they will make a comment doubting their attractiveness, which gives you an easy spot for a complement, like you look beautiful. This can keep you covered even if she wants to loose weight, though for some that might be an important issue.

You could consider trying using Feabie. I would think anyone you meet there should be at least somewhat comfortable with someone liking their size. Otherwise why would they join the website.
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Old 09-25-2016, 08:50 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel View Post
Just a little advice...
Until you have gotten to know a female and until you know what words and phrases she is comfortable with, I would think it would be in YOUR best interests to avoid using the "I like FAT girls" self description, unless, of course you met on a fat friendly website or event. Mainstream still views the word fat in a negative way. If a female is not familiar with sites like this, she may be self-conscious, and may take your "I like FAT girls" as you having a fetish or that you are one of those guys that think big women are easy. Choose your words carefully, and with respect until SHE reveals what she is comfortable with. I'd rather hear a new interest profess that he is into curvy, very curvy, or big women. Then that opens the door for ME to ask him about the actual size of women that he is attracted to! (....this from a larger SSBBW)
And don't be pawing and feeling up her fat rolls until you know she's completely comfortable with that! or you might end up sporting a nice hand print or be groaning in agony!

Thank you!
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Old 09-25-2016, 08:53 AM   #11
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Hot damn. Is that really you in your profile photo?
Yeah that is me. Thank you!
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Old 09-28-2016, 08:03 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by sun shine View Post
I have kind of a question that seems pretty basic but I could use some help. I really like BBWs and SSBBWs, but I don't really know how to approach them. Like at bars / clubs etc. I know that bars and clubs aren't the best places to meet a girl in general, so if anyone has any suggestions on where to meet girls other than at bars / clubs that would be helpful too. But when I go to a bar, if I do see a girl that I am interested in, I don't really know what to say. I'm shy in that I try to be respectful of boundaries, so if the conversation moves to flirting, I want to make sure that I don't offend someone by saying something like "I really like your body" (just as an example I try not to be crude), when she is going to the gym every day trying to lose weight or something. Or if I say something like "I like big girls" (I wouldn't something like that blatant), but I wouldn't want to offend her. Do any of the girls on here have any ideas on how I can approach a BBW / SSBBW without either seeming creepy or offending someone?

Thank You.

Get off the net and go out into the world.

Start talking to girls, my man. I mean all ages, shapes, sizes and races. Get used to it. Get used to the intimidation. And get used to rejection - it's going to happen, and it's not the end of the world. But also get used to someone wanting to get to know you better, and dealing with a real relationship rather than a "break the ice" type of deal. This is a lifelong thing.

But get out there, nervous or not.

I used to have a therapist and we would write down "goals for the week." One of them was "Kiss a fair maiden." Not go to bed with her, not marry her - just a kiss. Even on the cheek counted!

Everyone is nervous, everyone is shy, everyone is afraid you'll see none of us really know what the hell we're doing...but we get together anyway.
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Old 09-29-2016, 02:05 AM   #13
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Every woman I have ever dated (including my wife) I have stuck to one rule concerning her weight: Do not mention her weight unless or until she mentions it. I mean if you have been dating for a long while the fact that you like big women will (or may) occur to her anyway because details about you such as physical preference are (or can be) communicated unintentionally once the convo (after dating for a fair while) moves to more intimate details. I have found that once I dated a woman for a long while and things become intimate that it has been necessary to reveal my love for big women because of how society makes women especially feel like they are not attractive unless they are thin; my wife for example wouldn't believe that I was attracted to her and found her to be pretty until I showed her websites like this. Only my thoughts; others may disagree
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