Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > Main Dimensions Board



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-21-2017, 05:01 AM   #76
TwoSwords
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 456
TwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by HeidiRayson View Post
In my case, sexual attraction is very much bound to attraction to the person. Sure, there's a separate, surface attraction where I can think someone is nice to look at, but that's not a sexual thing for me: it's an aesthetic thing - my eyes enjoy the experience of looking at the person. Sexual attraction, for me, comes with getting to know the person and finding out that they're someone whose core person attracts me; I've had various relationships where I haven't thought someone was remotely physically attractive when I first met them, but by the time I've got to know them, I'm deeply physically attracted to them.
That'd be kind of nice to be able to do that. For me, both sexual and aesthetic attraction are independent of my appreciation of a person's deeper qualities, though the latter can certainly override the former in terms of turning me off to a person. What they can't do is make me feel attracted to someone who I don't aesthetically sync with.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HeidiRayson View Post
My husband was like that - he was around 105lbs (at 5'9") when we met, had crazy mad-scientist hair and a nose that looked far too big for his face, so he's not someone I'd have looked at and thought "yeah, you're gorgeous". However, I fell in love with who he is as a person and then one day I realised I'd also fallen in love with his body, and now found him physically attractive. Admittedly, I found him even more physically attractive once he finally managed to gain some weight (this didn't happen until he was in his 30s, and we've been together since we were 18), but the fact remains that the original physical attraction happened while he was still nothing like the 'type' of person I'd immediately go for.
Difficult for me to understand how it works, but it's still a sweet story, and I'm so happy for you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HeidiRayson View Post
One other point that's nothing to do with replying to TwoSwords, but rather an observation on a lot of the other comments in this thread (and actually TwoSwords has already made a similar observation) - people seem to be thinking of this as being an issue of appearance, but my own experience with arousal is that it's far more physical than that. Yes, there's some level of arousal that will come from appearance, but a lot of it comes from how the person feels in your arms and in many ways that's likely to be a harder one to deal with. After all, if it was just about vision, you could probably focus solely on the eyes, which won't have changed appreciably with the weight loss, but if you like a soft body against you, and you're in bed with someone hard and bony, that's going to be a challenge.
Yup. In terms of sexual attraction, that is certainly an issue. I also mentioned how hostility towards being fat can itself be an interpersonal obstacle, and spawn deep-seated disagreements that may make it harder for two people to get along.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HeidiRayson View Post
My husband has very little fat (I said he'd gained some weight but he's still a 32" waist), so I focus my fingers on the bits where he does have some softness - the backs of his hips (there's not enough there to be a proper love-handle but there's at least something I can grab now), his butt and his (tiny) belly. Perhaps if there's any areas of softness on the OP's wives, they can make the most of that?
That's the best advice I could give, if she's not able/willing to gain any weight back.
TwoSwords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-07-2018, 12:49 PM   #77
happily_married
Happy to be part of Dims!
 
happily_married's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Virginia
Posts: 909
happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!happily_married has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

I think my wife is on the brink of being ready to trying to lose weight again. She put in on over the holidays and now seems ready to reverse course. We’ll see what happens.
__________________
Fat wives matter!
happily_married is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2018, 08:42 AM   #78
Never2fat4me
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,703
Never2fat4me never has a post go unnoticedNever2fat4me never has a post go unnoticedNever2fat4me never has a post go unnoticedNever2fat4me never has a post go unnoticedNever2fat4me never has a post go unnoticedNever2fat4me never has a post go unnoticedNever2fat4me never has a post go unnoticed
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by choudhury View Post
I'm gonna take a heretical view here. Sex is great and all, but I don't think it's the essence of a life-long committed relationship. It's more like the cherry on top of the sundae.
While I certainly agree sex is not the "essence of a life-long committed relationship", I think you are underestimating its importance. If it was merely the cherry on top of the sundae, having the cherry on top of someone else's sundae - i.e., sex with someone other than your partner - would not be such a big deal. That is the quickest way to kill a marriage, and it is because sex is such a big and complex part of the relationship.

Sexual attraction is a big part of the relationship, particularly for men. For many of us, that is the first step in entering a relationship (i.e., we saw a woman whom we thought was cute and then decided we wanted to get to know her better). Men are simply more visually stimulated. Just think about the different porn out there: for women, it is the Harlequin romance novel - or Fifty Shades of Grey, etc. - while for men it is Playboy or cam shows, etc. To recognize its importance is not to diminish the more important elements - for example, I would much rather have a wife whom I love in spite of her looks than only because of them - and OP is not unjustified in mourning the "loss" of his fatter wife. As he says, he will love her just as much, but there is something gone that he fairly misses (or will miss - not sure where she is at in her weight loss journey) and we need to be more supportive than critical (not suggesting you are being critical; just that a lot of posts have) of him in that.

- Chris
__________________
If life gives you a lemon, make lemonade!
Never2fat4me is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-24-2018, 02:33 PM   #79
TwoSwords
 
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 456
TwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging inTwoSwords makes people happy simply by logging in
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Never2fat4me View Post
While I certainly agree sex is not the "essence of a life-long committed relationship", I think you are underestimating its importance. If it was merely the cherry on top of the sundae, having the cherry on top of someone else's sundae - i.e., sex with someone other than your partner - would not be such a big deal. That is the quickest way to kill a marriage, and it is because sex is such a big and complex part of the relationship.

Sexual attraction is a big part of the relationship, particularly for men. For many of us, that is the first step in entering a relationship (i.e., we saw a woman whom we thought was cute and then decided we wanted to get to know her better). Men are simply more visually stimulated. Just think about the different porn out there: for women, it is the Harlequin romance novel - or Fifty Shades of Grey, etc. - while for men it is Playboy or cam shows, etc. To recognize its importance is not to diminish the more important elements - for example, I would much rather have a wife whom I love in spite of her looks than only because of them - and OP is not unjustified in mourning the "loss" of his fatter wife. As he says, he will love her just as much, but there is something gone that he fairly misses (or will miss - not sure where she is at in her weight loss journey) and we need to be more supportive than critical (not suggesting you are being critical; just that a lot of posts have) of him in that.

- Chris
And as I think I've demonstrated, it doesn't fix big interpersonal issues, even if you don't focus on sex.

Honestly, I think a lot of the complaints stem from a sort of "he'd be perfect, if he would just change this one thing" mentality, but no matter what, you can't change other people, and a truism like that seems to be a hard sell these days. There comes a point where you just need to make the hard choice about whether those imperfections are worth giving up the upsides of the relationship for.

(Though if you're already married, that ship has kind of sailed.)
TwoSwords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-25-2018, 01:36 AM   #80
Rahul123
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: usa
Posts: 33
Rahul123 has said some nice things
Default

I think this is the best option where we speak confidently about all cases of dimensions
Rahul123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
The Amazing Expanding Wife - by EpsilonCool (~BBW, ~~WG, Pregnancy) EpsilonCool Weight Fiction General Archives 2 01-11-2015 09:01 AM
The Best Thanksgiving Ever - by FANed_Fox - (BBW (mult),Eating Fantasy,Romance, ~SWG) Britt Reid Weight Fiction Multi-part General Archive 8 12-05-2011 03:16 PM
Abundant Alison - by auusiefa63 (SSBBW, Erotica, ~XWG) aussiefa63 Erotica Archive 19 09-29-2011 11:36 AM
Does Weight Watchers Really work- a personal opinion Russell Williams Main Dimensions Board 170 01-12-2007 12:39 AM
Experiments in Revenge JP. Special Interests Archive 5 03-12-2006 02:30 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:24 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.