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Old 06-29-2017, 11:53 AM   #1
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Default Am I doing it right?

I've been reading lots of post of various folks here and just trying to get an inkling into people's personalities (at least through their writing).

I've resisted the urge to just start sending private messages to various people. My thought is that unless I am asked, I should not do so. I've only done that once. Otherwise, I have answered people who have sent one to me (though they are few).

I would guess that it's not good form to start trying to strike up conversations with folks privately?
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Old 06-29-2017, 01:27 PM   #2
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Unhappy All those Pseudonyms

Even Facebook allowed folks to make up 'funny names' for themselves when the masses were climbing-aboard a decade ago~~ and a decade before that, when DIMz was becoming a big go-to place on the 'net... pseudonyms were normal as a leftover from boards both alt-secretive, and scientific/academic. Facebook demanded verifiable names a coupla years back. My take is that at this late date, 'funny names' encourage gossip and immature shenanigans-in-general. That culture-of-secrecy may be contributing to communication-difficulties for the new people just discovering DIMz...
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Old 06-29-2017, 02:53 PM   #3
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If they don't want to answer, they don't have to. Nothing wrong with a polite invite for further conversation.
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Old 06-29-2017, 03:21 PM   #4
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I think you're really over thinking it, my friend. You have a lot to offer so just look for the best when and where to offer it. If people don't value what you have to contribute that's their choice.
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Old 06-29-2017, 04:53 PM   #5
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I agree with the overthinking things! Also remember this is not a dating site but a gathering place. I have found engaging in different threads and finding common interests is one of the better ways to get to know people. Being courteous in direct messages is always an asset, and don't get offended if someone does not reply. In the age of the internet the "ghost" is the default for a lot of people.
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Old 06-30-2017, 05:00 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ned Sonntag View Post
Even Facebook allowed folks to make up 'funny names' for themselves when the masses were climbing-aboard a decade ago~~ and a decade before that, when DIMz was becoming a big go-to place on the 'net... pseudonyms were normal as a leftover from boards both alt-secretive, and scientific/academic. Facebook demanded verifiable names a coupla years back. My take is that at this late date, 'funny names' encourage gossip and immature shenanigans-in-general. That culture-of-secrecy may be contributing to communication-difficulties for the new people just discovering DIMz...
You make a good point! Thanks.
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Old 06-30-2017, 05:01 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy View Post
If they don't want to answer, they don't have to. Nothing wrong with a polite invite for further conversation.
No I get it. I was just trying to make sure I wasn't overstepping or break some rule that I didn't know about. Thanks.
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Old 06-30-2017, 05:03 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by happily_married View Post
I think you're really over thinking it, my friend. You have a lot to offer so just look for the best when and where to offer it. If people don't value what you have to contribute that's their choice.
I try not to chime in unless I have something of value to offer within the conversation and not just speak to be speaking. I just didn't want to offend someone in any way. Thanks.
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Old 06-30-2017, 05:13 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by DragonFly View Post
I agree with the overthinking things! Also remember this is not a dating site but a gathering place. I have found engaging in different threads and finding common interests is one of the better ways to get to know people. Being courteous in direct messages is always an asset, and don't get offended if someone does not reply. In the age of the internet the "ghost" is the default for a lot of people.
Since I'm new and still getting the lay of the land so to speak, I just thought I'd ask the question, so as not to unintentially offend anyone. It seems I've done that already and someone felt the need to publicly reprimand me (when they could have easily sent a quick PM to help me adjust course).

And I am probably overthinking in a way. In this internet age, I've tried to adopt a policy fo transparency that not all people feel comfortable sharing. I have a limited online presence (no facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, etc.) so the sights, blogs, forums that I do subscribe to I view with an open and honest eye, not only toward others but inwardly toward myself. Thanks.
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Old 06-30-2017, 05:19 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by BigElectricKat View Post
I try not to chime in unless I have something of value to offer within the conversation and not just speak to be speaking. I just didn't want to offend someone in any way. Thanks.
You don't strike me as someone who would intentionally go and try to offend someone. I say be yourself and if that's all it takes to offend someone the problem is with that person, not you. Assuming you're not going out of your way to be a jerk, you never owe any person an apology for being yourself.
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Old 06-30-2017, 08:55 AM   #11
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Nothing wrong with a pm. But unless it's off topic, post so other people can see does have a chance of generating more discussion. Though it's your discretion.
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Old 06-30-2017, 10:09 AM   #12
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I think if you have something to add to the discussion whatever that may be you input should be welcome.
You are going to offend someone eventually thats just life, I seem to offend people by just being myself but I do try to be a nice person and be understanding of others.
As far as PMs go just send a nice PM and hope you get a response.
I have sent plenty and got nothing back and thats fine. Its their choice to respond or not.
Some people get upset that others don't respond and feel hurt but we are all adults here so we suck it up and go on.
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Old 06-30-2017, 10:45 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by Tracii View Post
I think if you have something to add to the discussion whatever that may be you input should be welcome.
You are going to offend someone eventually thats just life, I seem to offend people by just being myself but I do try to be a nice person and be understanding of others.
As far as PMs go just send a nice PM and hope you get a response.
I have sent plenty and got nothing back and thats fine. Its their choice to respond or not.
Some people get upset that others don't respond and feel hurt but we are all adults here so we suck it up and go on.
I was just trying to make sure that I wasn't overstepping or breaking an unwritten rule. Thanks for the reply though. It is greatly appreciated.
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Old 06-30-2017, 05:31 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigElectricKat View Post
I've been reading lots of post of various folks here and just trying to get an inkling into people's personalities (at least through their writing).

I've resisted the urge to just start sending private messages to various people. My thought is that unless I am asked, I should not do so. I've only done that once. Otherwise, I have answered people who have sent one to me (though they are few).

I would guess that it's not good form to start trying to strike up conversations with folks privately?
I wouldn't be hanging around here if I didn't want to talk about this stuff, privately or otherwise. Talk to me however you want, man.
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Old 07-01-2017, 08:06 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by BigElectricKat View Post
I was just trying to make sure that I wasn't overstepping or breaking an unwritten rule. Thanks for the reply though. It is greatly appreciated.
Just keep in mind that our Dimz time is whatever is leftover after dealing with RL issues. It can be days or weeks between our check-ins here for some of us so please don't think someone is ignoring you if they're a slow in responding.
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Old 07-03-2017, 04:37 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by TwoSwords View Post
I wouldn't be hanging around here if I didn't want to talk about this stuff, privately or otherwise. Talk to me however you want, man.
I'll let you know if soemthing comes up. Thanks!
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