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Old 07-10-2017, 02:58 AM   #26
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I've never exactly been in a 'mismatched' couple but I do have a few observations I can share.

Firstly, a lot of super fit/muscular guys on places like feabie tried to hit on me. Much to my bemusement as I put that I was only interested in BHM, am an FFA, and prefer people that are about twice my size.

Secondly, when I was dating my ex - a short guy around 440 lbs - I was about 160 lbs, so not tiny by any means but relatively average, though thick and curvy. And before they met me in person, a lot of people assumed I would be about his size, for some reason. And we did get a couple of people shouting stuff at us out of car windows too, though I get that when I'm on my own too so who knows.
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Old 07-10-2017, 03:49 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy View Post
Not sure what you're asking? Someone overly confident?



I've had plenty of presumptuous and out-right rude shit said to me over my lifetime. In my head, I'm taking it that the lady that said that you is of my Mom's generation (she's in her late seventies). My experience with that generation has been that they were brought up with some steadfast, inarguable "rules" about the way women should "behave". (Have you ever read The Feminine Mystique?- fascinating read about "brainwashing" IMO)
You should have waited until you were "safely"married and over thirty to "allow" yourself such indulgences. How in the world will you ever find a man now????
The woman in question is a neighbor and she is in her late 40's, I would think. Could be older, but not much. But, I absolutely think she was of that exact mindset. What struck me as very odd was that this woman is certainly no stranger to indulging herself. Maybe not to the same degree as me, but clearly she has not said no to dessert in quite some time. From the way she dresses you can tell she is attempting to hide every bit of it which I never really understood.

I have been meaning to check out that title for quite sometime. I don't read much unless I am commuting and I have totally fallen into phone apps as a means to pass the time when I am on the subway for an extended period of time.
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Old 07-11-2017, 05:16 AM   #28
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I have been meaning to check out that title for quite sometime. I don't read much unless I am commuting and I have totally fallen into phone apps as a means to pass the time when I am on the subway for an extended period of time.
Definitely do that. It is one of the most important books to understand many elements of women's perception in Western society - and some male comments around here - until today.

It's available as PDF by now (as standard educational reading) - so you can download it on your phone and read during your commute. Here's the link:

https://nationalhumanitiescenter.org...neMystique.pdf

Happy reading!
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Old 07-11-2017, 11:47 AM   #29
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Definitely do that. It is one of the most important books to understand many elements of women's perception in Western society - and some male comments around here - until today.

It's available as PDF by now (as standard educational reading) - so you can download it on your phone and read during your commute. Here's the link:

https://nationalhumanitiescenter.org...neMystique.pdf

Happy reading!
Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thank you you for looking out.
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Old 07-11-2017, 03:18 PM   #30
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And we did get a couple of people shouting stuff at us out of car windows too, though I get that when I'm on my own too so who knows.
Ah, yes, the drive by insult! A classic! (For assholes, that is.)

I've actually not experienced this with my wife, so that's good. I did experience it with a girlfriend I had years ago before I was married. And the girl about whom I based my (still unfinished) story Taking the Plunge drew some nasty drive by comments while I was with her. That was when I was still "coming out" and it actually embarrassed me. Obviously I've come a long way since then.
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Old 07-21-2017, 06:14 PM   #31
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Just got back from the beach. I was hoping I'd have some additional observations to share with you but I honestly was so busy snoozing in the sand, playing in the surf with the kids or out paddle boarding that I didn't pick up on anything worth sharing on this thread.

But my wife did.

I had been out on my board and as I was coming in my wife met me in the surf. No sooner did I hop off the board that she wrapped her arms around me and started making out with me. Surf was rolling in and the board got away from me. I dropped the paddle too.

She pulled away and laughed and told me to get the board and the paddle and I brought it up to the sand just outside our canopy. When we sat down I cracked open a beer and said, "Wow, what was that all about?" I made a joke about getting all spun up seeing me topless riding a board in on the waves with the sunlight gleaming on my chest...

She gave me the back story at that point. It turned out there was a pair of girls loitering near our canopy and they were watching me come in. They were (reportedly) scoping me out and talking about how they'd ask if I'd teach them how to use a paddle board. My wife overheard this and told me, "I had to go mark my territory!"

I love that! That's super hot! I didn't notice the girls but our friend said they both had "WTF?" looks on their faces as my wife cut them off and then they continued down the beach.
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Old 07-22-2017, 10:31 AM   #32
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Interesting thread and topic - I will add some points. I will try to keep them brief .....

1. So many dynamics come to play especially when you look at the differences within the demographics of the couples and the life experiences that we each have. Where people live etc. etc.

2. I think women suffer through more "crap" from strangers if they are outside the physical norm in terms height, weight more so than men. I think we had an older thread in the Main Forum on the differences between BHM and BBW and SSBBW. I will also make no generalizations here as there are some BBW and SSBBW that will not tolerate any bullshit or disrespect and happy to deal with the offender...

I can recall being in midtown around (49th and 8th where the Old Mid City Bodybuilding gym use to be).

An extremely muscular woman was walking with her very fit boyfriend and the woman would get disapproving looks and the rare outburst from a homeless man. I give them credit- they ignored the assholes and was happy to be in each other's company...

2. As for me- I have a weightlifter type of build (5'10" 240lbs) and my wife is 5'9" and Supersized. We have never had anyone say anything to us; even when we have walked outside the tri-state (NY/NJ/CT area).

At the end of the day, you just have to be happy with who are you with and as others have said...it really becomes less about what "strangers" think...
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Old 07-22-2017, 12:22 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by happily_married View Post
Just got back from the beach. I was hoping I'd have some additional observations to share with you but I honestly was so busy snoozing in the sand, playing in the surf with the kids or out paddle boarding that I didn't pick up on anything worth sharing on this thread.

But my wife did.

I had been out on my board and as I was coming in my wife met me in the surf. No sooner did I hop off the board that she wrapped her arms around me and started making out with me. Surf was rolling in and the board got away from me. I dropped the paddle too.

She pulled away and laughed and told me to get the board and the paddle and I brought it up to the sand just outside our canopy. When we sat down I cracked open a beer and said, "Wow, what was that all about?" I made a joke about getting all spun up seeing me topless riding a board in on the waves with the sunlight gleaming on my chest...

She gave me the back story at that point. It turned out there was a pair of girls loitering near our canopy and they were watching me come in. They were (reportedly) scoping me out and talking about how they'd ask if I'd teach them how to use a paddle board. My wife overheard this and told me, "I had to go mark my territory!"

I love that! That's super hot! I didn't notice the girls but our friend said they both had "WTF?" looks on their faces as my wife cut them off and then they continued down the beach.
Holy crap! Wish I could have been there or someone had taken a video of that! I'm reading your post and laughing so hard I nearly passed out! Your wife must have had a "cat that ate the canary" grin on her face the whole day (and possibly the whole night as well). Awesome story!
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Old 07-23-2017, 02:46 AM   #34
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..

2. As for me- I have a weightlifter type of build (5'10" 240lbs) and my wife is 5'9" and Supersized. We have never had anyone say anything to us;.....

At the end of the day, you just have to be happy with who are you with and as others have said...it really becomes less about what "strangers" think...
I support this.
I'm 5'9", 210 lbs, muscular and my wife is 5'3", 390 pounds. I totally love her size, she is perfect for me. We have never got any negative comments. I think people realize that I love to have such a fat wife.
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Old 07-24-2017, 05:22 AM   #35
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I can recall being in midtown around (49th and 8th where the Old Mid City Bodybuilding gym use to be).

An extremely muscular woman was walking with her very fit boyfriend and the woman would get disapproving looks and the rare outburst from a homeless man. I give them credit- they ignored the assholes and was happy to be in each other's company...
Incredibly enough, fit shaming, directed at women far more so than men, is a thing now too. Fortunately most women who find themselves on the receiving end of this come complete with an "IDGAF what you think" attitude. Some fat women have this attitude as well but it's less common than in fit women.
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Old 07-26-2017, 03:34 AM   #36
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When what people have been taught about how the world is "supposed" to work falls apart right in front of them, their narrow sheeple minds can barely handle it.

There's a very large woman named Dankii Doll who supposedly has a fit, attractive boyfriend. She once posted a video on YT about her liking fit men or her preference for them and got raked through the coals. She never said she was entitled to a fit man, only that she preferred them. I don't see anything wrong with merely expressing a preference.


Anyway, there's this cute, young Hispanic gentleman who works at a Mexican eatery I frequent often. Upon seeing me (I haven't seen him do this with other women), he will usually smile, baring his teeth and wave. He has asked me how I am doing once before but that is all that has happened thus far; we often make eye contact more than once.

I'm wondering if he's just being nice or doesn't speak English well. I think I found him on FB and the entire profile is Spanish only. The thing is...I look like a complete bum when I go out so, even IF he is an FA, I find it hard to believe he's hitting on me.

Also, I got a quick up-and-down look the other day. I cannot tell if that was out of disgust or lust (he didn't do it again and was with a much thinner woman).
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Old 07-29-2017, 05:55 AM   #37
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Also, I got a quick up-and-down look the other day. I cannot tell if that was out of disgust or lust (he didn't do it again and was with a much thinner woman).
At least you didn't SEE him do it again! I used to do that stuff all the time when I was dating thinner women.

I am cautious to allow this thread to turn into a catalogue of every perceived weigh related slight. This is why I have been adamant about sharing positive reactions as well. I read here on Dims somewhere (looked around for it and couldn't find it) someone's experience was that when dining out with a plus size partner the waitress will always ask if the tickets are separate. This was not an experience I could relate to until this past week.

I've taken some time off work while my mom has visited us, and yesterday and the day before my wife and I have peeled off for lunch alone. It's not often we have lunch together on a workday. On both days the waitresses (two different places) asked if it would be separate tickets. On the first day we just shrugged it off and said, "That was a silly question." My wife teased that I must not be good looking enough to really be with her. When it happened yesterday at a different restaurant I was ready to believe there was something to it. Then my wife suggested that during lunch hour it may be a standard question they ask in case coworkers are just eating lunch together. That makes sense. I know I personally run the risk of confirmation bias: that is I tend to believe people notice "fat girl/fit guy" couples and am more inclined to believe there's been a slight when perhaps there really hasn't been. This is something I'll guard against.

Meanwhile, before we went to lunch yesterday we ducked into a Lane Bryant because my wife wanted to get some new jeans. My wife wanted to change into them and wear them out of the store and asked me to go pay for them. The woman who'd been helping her rang up the purchase. Not surprisingly she was a plus size herself. She gave me a nice compliment, that it's rare to see husbands in there shopping with their wives and when they do they often seem irritated to be there and sometimes even embarrassed that they are with a woman who shops there. She said it was refreshing to see a husband who is obviously very enthusiastic about his wife and she and her coworkers both loved the way I not only followed my wife around and actually interacted with her, but also wandered around and tried to find things she'd be interested in. One of her coworkers was listening and admitted to being a bit jealous.

It feels great to be noticed and draw those kinds of compliments, but I think it's a shame that a man just being a decent and supportive husband is so noteworthy.
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Old 07-29-2017, 01:32 PM   #38
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At least you didn't SEE him do it again! I used to do that stuff all the time when I was dating thinner women.

I am cautious to allow this thread to turn into a catalogue of every perceived weigh related slight. This is why I have been adamant about sharing positive reactions as well. I read here on Dims somewhere (looked around for it and couldn't find it) someone's experience was that when dining out with a plus size partner the waitress will always ask if the tickets are separate. This was not an experience I could relate to until this past week.

I've taken some time off work while my mom has visited us, and yesterday and the day before my wife and I have peeled off for lunch alone. It's not often we have lunch together on a workday. On both days the waitresses (two different places) asked if it would be separate tickets. On the first day we just shrugged it off and said, "That was a silly question." My wife teased that I must not be good looking enough to really be with her. When it happened yesterday at a different restaurant I was ready to believe there was something to it. Then my wife suggested that during lunch hour it may be a standard question they ask in case coworkers are just eating lunch together. That makes sense. I know I personally run the risk of confirmation bias: that is I tend to believe people notice "fat girl/fit guy" couples and am more inclined to believe there's been a slight when perhaps there really hasn't been. This is something I'll guard against.

Meanwhile, before we went to lunch yesterday we ducked into a Lane Bryant because my wife wanted to get some new jeans. My wife wanted to change into them and wear them out of the store and asked me to go pay for them. The woman who'd been helping her rang up the purchase. Not surprisingly she was a plus size herself. She gave me a nice compliment, that it's rare to see husbands in there shopping with their wives and when they do they often seem irritated to be there and sometimes even embarrassed that they are with a woman who shops there. She said it was refreshing to see a husband who is obviously very enthusiastic about his wife and she and her coworkers both loved the way I not only followed my wife around and actually interacted with her, but also wandered around and tried to find things she'd be interested in. One of her coworkers was listening and admitted to being a bit jealous.

It feels great to be noticed and draw those kinds of compliments, but I think it's a shame that a man just being a decent and supportive husband is so noteworthy.
I wrote about the separate checks, it might even have been in this thread. I am unsure if it's just for efficiency sake or disbelief.

I get similar reactions in both Torrid and Lane Bryant.
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Old 07-30-2017, 06:45 AM   #39
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It feels great to be noticed and draw those kinds of compliments, but I think it's a shame that a man just being a decent and supportive husband is so noteworthy.
Yah, I'm a shopper and my wife isn't, so I'm often in stores to buy her things or scout out things that I'll take her back to try on. At first I kind of enjoyed the ego boost of sales staff telling me how wonderful I was, but after a while I just began to find it awkward and embarrassing. It is like, for all they know I could be a complete controlling and abusive ass, controlling what she wears or something.

(Being shortish, balding, and fattish, I don't get the 'it is amazing that you are with her' part of the reaction that some of you others do)
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Old 07-31-2017, 06:33 AM   #40
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Yah, I'm a shopper and my wife isn't, so I'm often in stores to buy her things or scout out things that I'll take her back to try on. At first I kind of enjoyed the ego boost of sales staff telling me how wonderful I was, but after a while I just began to find it awkward and embarrassing. It is like, for all they know I could be a complete controlling and abusive ass, controlling what she wears or something.

(Being shortish, balding, and fattish, I don't get the 'it is amazing that you are with her' part of the reaction that some of you others do)
It would be hard to work in the service industry and wonder if, "could be a complete controlling and abusive ass, controlling what she wears or something." Much easier on the mind to be optimistic. Otherwise, you would see most of the comments being passive-aggressive, when realistically they are meant as a complement.

HM and I have very similar experiences that we have shared in the forums and private message. Most of what we have said in pm probably already resaid within Dims.

My girlfriend and I went to Minneapolis this last weekend to see Guns N Roses last night but also to just visit the city. I shared the donut store story in the FA forum.

We stopped at Dangerous Man Brewing Co. Very packed with people. My girlfriend and I were able to get a spot in a side room with couches facing in a square. We were having a few beers. There was a larger group of friends taking up the other 3 couches. There was a girl about 25ish, Who was on the very small side of BBW. There are lots of unique decorations all over the room. So I am look at a lot of them while talking to my girlfriend. At least 7 times the thin BBW who seemed to be there with her boyfriend made eye contact with me but it looked angry or disapproving. The more she did it the more lovey dovey I got with my girlfriend. I was getting the impression that she thought it was wrong I was with my girlfriend. Which if that is what she was thinking, it's sad what she must think of herself, or was in denial or something. Her shirt was very tight.

At the concert there was a BBW infront of us. I noticed her but didn't notice her looking at either of us. My girlfriend said she was looking at both of us a lot. Later she asked me to take pictures of her and her friend with her phone and asked me a lot of questions about Guns N Roses. Most of the topics I have discussed on Dims I have discussed with my girlfriend, including only being noticed by fat women when I am with a fat woman. Her analogy was, "You know how when you meet other peoples dogs, and their dogs really like you because they can smell your dogs on you so they know you are a good person and end up being really friendly. Yeah it's like that but for you it's fat women."
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Old 07-31-2017, 07:35 PM   #41
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I wrote about the separate checks, it might even have been in this thread. I am unsure if it's just for efficiency sake or disbelief.

I get similar reactions in both Torrid and Lane Bryant.
I didn't even think to look in this thread.

I started doing Judo a few months ago. A few weeks ago a kid, maybe ~15 or so years old, started training with us. I noticed his mom because she is a fairly attractive SSBBW (probably around 375-400 pounds) but I didn't think she had paid me any attention. That didn't surprise me because she's AA and in the past I've found AA women don't seem to be attracted to me with few exceptions. However, this woman seemed to instantly warm up to me when she saw me with my wife. Now she eye-s me every time she sees me. At the end of class I typically take off my gi and change into a t-shirt. I've noticed she always watches me as I leave the mat and take off my gi. She brought Subway in the other night for dinner and she stares at me with the same lustful look on her face she had before she devoured her sandwich!

I think there is something to what FF's GF told him.
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Old 08-02-2017, 03:12 AM   #42
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Old 08-02-2017, 03:33 AM   #43
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African American.
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Old 08-02-2017, 10:57 AM   #44
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I didn't even think to look in this thread.

I started doing Judo a few months ago. A few weeks ago a kid, maybe ~15 or so years old, started training with us. I noticed his mom because she is a fairly attractive SSBBW (probably around 375-400 pounds) but I didn't think she had paid me any attention. That didn't surprise me because she's AA and in the past I've found AA women don't seem to be attracted to me with few exceptions. However, this woman seemed to instantly warm up to me when she saw me with my wife. Now she eye-s me every time she sees me. At the end of class I typically take off my gi and change into a t-shirt. I've noticed she always watches me as I leave the mat and take off my gi. She brought Subway in the other night for dinner and she stares at me with the same lustful look on her face she had before she devoured her sandwich!

I think there is something to what FF's GF told him.
I am risking sounding like a broken record, and explaining in open forum. My girlfriend lives 2 hours away and lives in downtown Madison, so doesnít have a car. So we only see each other every other weekend which is around my schedule. Even though we have been dating for almost a year, going out and doing things is still novel. So we notice a lot.

When I am not with a fat woman. I almost never see fat women checking me out, or go out of their way to talk to me. I donít know how often thin women do, I donít really care, but itís not uncommon.

When I am out with a fat woman, especially my current girlfriend, I would say get noticed by high number of fat women. There are some days where it seems as high as 50%. Thatís when I notice, a lot of times I donít but when my back is to them my girlfriend tells me they are looking me up and down. I donít think there has been a single weekend I have visited in the last year where we didnít get at least one fat woman smile at us and nod. We are frequently approached by fat women who start small talk with us, which is also uncommon for my girlfriend.

This is a real effect.
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Old 08-03-2017, 05:15 AM   #45
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I am risking sounding like a broken record, and explaining in open forum. My girlfriend lives 2 hours away and lives in downtown Madison, so doesn’t have a car. So we only see each other every other weekend which is around my schedule. Even though we have been dating for almost a year, going out and doing things is still novel. So we notice a lot.

When I am not with a fat woman. I almost never see fat women checking me out, or go out of their way to talk to me. I don’t know how often thin women do, I don’t really care, but it’s not uncommon.

When I am out with a fat woman, especially my current girlfriend, I would say get noticed by high number of fat women. There are some days where it seems as high as 50%. That’s when I notice, a lot of times I don’t but when my back is to them my girlfriend tells me they are looking me up and down. I don’t think there has been a single weekend I have visited in the last year where we didn’t get at least one fat woman smile at us and nod. We are frequently approached by fat women who start small talk with us, which is also uncommon for my girlfriend.

This is a real effect.
Yes it is, and like you, I risk sounding like a broken record (not to mention we can be perceived as arrogant if we're talking about women scoping us out) but you are dead right when you say the effect is real.

A humorous story: a woman started doing Judo at my club. She's 40, probably about 5'3 and ~225 pounds: big butt, soft belly, etc. She's also a bit socially awkward but in a very outgoing and friendly way. Anyway she got paired up with me for a mount technique and as she settled in on top of me she was a bit apologetic, saying, "Sorry I know you'd rather not be mounted by a fatty like me." I just laughed and told her I was used to it and she was small compared to my wife. I made it clear that wasn't a complaint. Last night she was back with her daughter and my wife and I were both there with our kids too. My wife, ~390 pounds of her, was wearing this skin tight leggings that would've made any regular here on Dims just say The new woman, in her awkward friendliness, at one point told me, "I see what you mean. I'd want to be mounted by her too if I were a guy!"

Oh, and most awkward moment of the night while we were training the other night: she farted on me! As if that wasn't bad enough she laughed and said "can't promise I'm not going to do that again!"
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Old 08-03-2017, 06:28 AM   #46
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A humorous story: a woman started doing Judo at my club. She's 40, probably about 5'3 and ~225 pounds: big butt, soft belly, etc. She's also a bit socially awkward but in a very outgoing and friendly way. Anyway she got paired up with me for a mount technique and as she settled in on top of me she was a bit apologetic, saying, "Sorry I know you'd rather not be mounted by a fatty like me." I just laughed and told her I was used to it and she was small compared to my wife. I made it clear that wasn't a complaint. Last night she was back with her daughter and my wife and I were both there with our kids too. My wife, ~390 pounds of her, was wearing this skin tight leggings that would've made any regular here on Dims just say The new woman, in her awkward friendliness, at one point told me, "I see what you mean. I'd want to be mounted by her too if I were a guy!"

Oh, and most awkward moment of the night while we were training the other night: she farted on me! As if that wasn't bad enough she laughed and said "can't promise I'm not going to do that again!"
The above story should be considered for the "FA Moments of Greatness" You should have high 5'd her after the comment about your wife!
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Old 08-03-2017, 07:49 AM   #47
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You should have high 5'd her after the comment about your wife!
Or invited her over for dinner!
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Old 08-03-2017, 08:35 AM   #48
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I am risking sounding like a broken record, and explaining in open forum. My girlfriend lives 2 hours away and lives in downtown Madison, so doesnít have a car. So we only see each other every other weekend which is around my schedule. Even though we have been dating for almost a year, going out and doing things is still novel. So we notice a lot.

When I am not with a fat woman. I almost never see fat women checking me out, or go out of their way to talk to me. I donít know how often thin women do, I donít really care, but itís not uncommon.

When I am out with a fat woman, especially my current girlfriend, I would say get noticed by high number of fat women. There are some days where it seems as high as 50%. Thatís when I notice, a lot of times I donít but when my back is to them my girlfriend tells me they are looking me up and down. I donít think there has been a single weekend I have visited in the last year where we didnít get at least one fat woman smile at us and nod. We are frequently approached by fat women who start small talk with us, which is also uncommon for my girlfriend.

This is a real effect.
I've found over the course of my life, that women will check out a guy who is with another woman, no matter his or her size. Presumably, I guess it has something to do with the fact that another woman finds you attractive and therefore they need to look to see why.

When I was still active duty, I was dating a gal who was "okay" by all accounts. She was a nice person overall and I got along with her small children. Some of my single female friends would see us out but never commented on us as a couple (or more specifically her). I thought nothing of it at the time.

But after we broke up, I started seeing a different gal. She was very attractive, outgoing, and vivacious. I'd see those same friends out and about. The next day, they would come up to me and be much nicer and ask about my girlfriend. They would come over if they saw us out and strike up a conversation with her. Meanwhile, I'm like "WTF?".

In another instance, there was a group of us that hung out a lot, about 5 or 6 college girls, 3 or 4 young airmen, and myself the "elder statesman" so to speak. None of the girls in our group ever really approached me in a romantic way, which was cool because I did my own thing anyway. But one night while we were out dancing, a young woman from another town named April took a liking to me and by the end of the night, she and I made plans to meet at a club near her place a few days after. I walked her to her car and she kissed me goodnight. I was still reeling from my good fortune as a walked to my car. When I got there, Andrea (one of the girls from our group) was leaning against my car waiting for me. Normally, she would have taken off with the rest of the crew but she waited for me.

I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing. She just walked up to me, put her arms around my neck and gave me the biggest, most passionate kiss I've had in a long time! I asked her what that was for and she said that she's always had her eye on me but when she saw me with that other girl, she figured that she better make it known and take her shot before I got with April again.

The point is that women in general will usually check what another has on her arm, regardless of size.
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Old 08-03-2017, 09:09 AM   #49
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I've found over the course of my life, that women will check out a guy who is with another woman, no matter his or her size. Presumably, I guess it has something to do with the fact that another woman finds you attractive and therefore they need to look to see why.

When I was still active duty, I was dating a gal who was "okay" by all accounts. She was a nice person overall and I got along with her small children. Some of my single female friends would see us out but never commented on us as a couple (or more specifically her). I thought nothing of it at the time.

But after we broke up, I started seeing a different gal. She was very attractive, outgoing, and vivacious. I'd see those same friends out and about. The next day, they would come up to me and be much nicer and ask about my girlfriend. They would come over if they saw us out and strike up a conversation with her. Meanwhile, I'm like "WTF?".

In another instance, there was a group of us that hung out a lot, about 5 or 6 college girls, 3 or 4 young airmen, and myself the "elder statesman" so to speak. None of the girls in our group ever really approached me in a romantic way, which was cool because I did my own thing anyway. But one night while we were out dancing, a young woman from another town named April took a liking to me and by the end of the night, she and I made plans to meet at a club near her place a few days after. I walked her to her car and she kissed me goodnight. I was still reeling from my good fortune as a walked to my car. When I got there, Andrea (one of the girls from our group) was leaning against my car waiting for me. Normally, she would have taken off with the rest of the crew but she waited for me.

I asked her what was wrong and she said nothing. She just walked up to me, put her arms around my neck and gave me the biggest, most passionate kiss I've had in a long time! I asked her what that was for and she said that she's always had her eye on me but when she saw me with that other girl, she figured that she better make it known and take her shot before I got with April again.

The point is that women in general will usually check what another has on her arm, regardless of size.
There is a lot of truth to that. When I was married it was really obvious. Women who found out I was married usually became much more friendly and relax with me once they found out. In a casual non-flirty way.

But what I have written in this thread is specific to fat women. Since I ďcame outĒ as a FA, each person I have been with has been bigger than the last, or appears to be, I donít run around with a measuring tape and scale. This is just a coincidence, I am not slowly walking into the ocean. Normally I am invisible to fat women, but not thin women. When paired with a fat woman, I donít just get noticed by other fat women. I donít know if itís a size correlation or that my current girlfriend is extremely size positive.

An athletic guy paired with a 350 pear woman, is probably going out of his way rather just being with this person due to settling. IMO
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Old 09-02-2017, 04:31 AM   #50
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I had an amusing interaction with a young woman at the mall yesterday. She worked at one of the stores and got a bit flirty with me, despite me being there with my boys. At the point in the conversation when I was certain she wasn't just being an engaging employee at her store, I mentioned my wife in a manner that was consistent with the conversation. Her flirtiness dropped off after that though she still engaged.

While this was happening my wife and daughter text me I tell them what store I'm in so they can join me. As she was coming in I said to the young woman, "Here comes my wife." Her reaction was priceless. She just stared and said, "Oh. She looks...nice." (Translation: "Oh, she's really fat!")

I am careful about a couple things. First, I am always careful to not assume an employee is flirting with me. As much as I'd like to tell myself I'm worthy of every girl out there flashing a smile and some witty comments the way this young woman did, the bottom line is I know it's not true. Add to it part of her job is to be polite to customers and it really does take some ego to assume she's flirting with me. In her case yesterday I think it was pretty obvious, though I'm not going to recount all the details of the conversation. Secondly I am also careful to not take every little reaction as a slight against overweight women. I know this is something to which I am a bit sensitive so I guard against it. This person couldn't have been more obvious in her surprise. Shortly after my wife arrived the employee broke contact by telling to ask her if we needed anything and we browsed that store for a few more minutes. I watched her and she watched us, staring at my wife intently. She looked confused and disappointed, as if to ask, "How did SHE get him?" We made eye contact again a couple times and she smiled awkwardly and looked away very quickly.

I do not consider this a good interaction or bad; it was rather benign. I share it because I've contended for a while now that people struggle to accept the fit male/fat woman combination. I don't go around looking for confirmation of this hypothesis, but every once in a while a pretty obvious confirmation jumps out of nowhere and finds me. Yesterday's incident was just that.
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