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Old 10-03-2006, 03:30 PM   #1
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Default childhood FA'ism when does it start.

I am going to retry this post.. Seriously guys I think the 14/just turned 15 year old I am helping to raise is having FA/feeding issues. I would really like to know how some of you guys first knew you were Fa's , what forms it took, If fatting the animals ever come into play, If your parents are some special person in your life was fat and if you took to making sure they had enough to eat?? How should a adult react to him! How much information should we as his guardians give him. side note. He has no access to the internet other than when were on together. I would really be thankful for any input. Thanks Evie
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Old 10-03-2006, 03:46 PM   #2
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I cannot speak to feederism, but as an FA, I was well aware of my inclinations at 14/15 and was very open about them with my friends. I'd say my first awareness that I was an FA (which is to say, that everyone else wasn't) was around the end of 6th grade. Going back, though, a lot of the girls I had crushes on were chubby starting in 2nd grade.

I first really became aware on a school field trip to New York. Two of the teachers had high school age daughters who accompanied them on the trip. One had a pair of blond twins who were pretty much what Hollywood was taught us to expect blond twins to look like. The other's daughter was a shortish brunette who, while not very fat, was distinctly chubby. I'd latter learn that her mom was rather harsh with her about just that, but that's another issue. One might guess which daughter I thought was cute, but it was hard to miss the universal salivating over the twins from my male classmates. That was a pretty strong proof that my preferences differed from the cultural norm. By 8th grade, I was already aware of terminology and fat acceptance and had fully accepted my preference and persued fat girls romantically.

As I said, feederism was not a part of this. That is a seperate issue entirely even if FA's and feeders seem like they have a lot alike. In truth, there is a world of difference and I don't think comparisons can be fairly drawn, so if he is experiencing a feeder awakening, I can't speak much on that. I will say that I never had a family member who was fat nor was pet feeding a significant responsibility of mine beyond a remarkably long-lived hamster who I did not make any effort to overfeed. The most I can tell you is that I did experiment a bit with padding my clothes to approximate a fat person's body. Sometimes male, sometimes female. I'd at least say that such an activity is not exclusively associated with weight gain experimentation, so perhaps other things which seem to lean towards feederism might not really mean that.
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Old 10-03-2006, 04:01 PM   #3
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I can't give any advice on the feeding, but from personal experience and what I 've heard around the board, a very early age isn't uncommon. It actually wasn't until I was a teenager that I noticed when I was young I was always aware of BBWs. Let me rephrase that. As a kid, I was fascinated by BBWs, but didn't know why, and didn't think about it much. But when puberty rolled around, things started to make way more sense. Some things that I did when I figured it out were pay close attention to magazines, newspapers, that sort of thing for 'Before and After' weight loss ads, search for plus-size clothing ads, and just generally grab glances whenever I could at the gals. I never really had anyone in my family that was above plump, so I suppose I would've paid more attention to them, but it's not a requirement. As far as what to do, I'd talk it over a lot with anyone else raising him before going to him. Even if you're wrong, you won't be going out on a limb all by yourself.

Hope I helped,
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Old 10-03-2006, 04:02 PM   #4
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when i was little i'd sneak the family cat extra food all the time, because i had friends whose cats were biiiig fatty fat fattersons, and i always thought cats that fat were just cuter than skinny cats. still do, for the record. although i'd never overfeed my cats today.
and here i am as an adult, not a feeder or feedee or foodie or whateverothertermoftheweek.
point is, everyone has such a boundless myriad of different tastes when it comes to every little thing. it's hard to know when something surfaces in a kid's personality, if it's just an isolated quirk or if it's indicative of other things to come. what exactly about this kid makes you think this about him?
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Old 10-03-2006, 04:38 PM   #5
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As an FFA, I can safely say I was interested in fat since I was six or younger. I used to play garfield the VERY fat cat... none of my friends got it. I also used to pack my barbie's clothes to make her fat. And I would go all read faced whenever anyone said the word “belly”. LOL. I just found out a few years ago that my parents knew well before I did. Well, at least they knew I had a thing for “bellies”.

Also, I would definitally recommend discussing it with him. It's like "the talk" for FAs, I think. Birds and bees… and fat. But I felt really isolated, like I was totally weird, up until I was about 22. Until I found this website, actually. But then again, it seems to be easier for guys than it is for girls.
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Old 10-03-2006, 04:55 PM   #6
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Evie,

Just this weekend I had a five year old keep trying to grab my boobies. Kids are humans therefore by their very nature sexual. I was aware of my desire to become very fat by the time I was 3 or 4 years old.

I think the best approach is to be very kind, understanding, and frank about sex. Like I said, children are sexual beings. It is up to us adults to educate them honestly when they have questions and to always respect their bodies and personal space.
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Old 10-03-2006, 05:07 PM   #7
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I dont think I was aware of being an FA till I was about 14 but a large part of that is due to internet access and sexualisation! I really didnt have a crush on a girl till I was about 12 (and she was rail thin) and my first kiss was with a chubby girl aged about 13 but it wasent till my family got the internet that I started to really realise I was tilted towards (the much) meatier side of the market and yet oddly I went through male anoerexia which is incraesing in the UK. Now today I guess I waiver between feeder and FA but have never really met anybody who met my desires (due mostly to Self depreciation.)

When I say feeder I have always thought it a turn on when someone I was dating had gained weight or new stretchmarks without being overly bothered and that was really triggered by my first long term girlfreind who was big when I was about 17/18 and gained a bit of weight.
But when it comes to animals I have a thing for greyhounds... wtf! lol
Like NFA I did used to pad my clothing as a kid! so maybe early signs of FAism?
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Old 10-03-2006, 10:46 PM   #8
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Yeah... it was an early thing for me, too. The feeding part not so much, but definitely the FA thing. And while I don't necessarily attribute my being an FA to having an important fat person early in my life, I think it has an influence. My live-in nanny from when I was 6 until 10 was a very large and wonderful woman.

Looking back... I as well would, alone in my room, pad my clothing to see what I'd look/feel like if I were very large. I think eventually there was a transfer from being intrigued by my own fat or fat on my body to the fat on a woman's body. I feel like the most important thing is just to talk to the teenager openly, no matter how initially uncomfortable it may be for both of you. It would have been nice back in the day to have an outlet for such socially deviant feelings!
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Old 10-03-2006, 11:08 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueeyedevie
I would really like to know how some of you guys first knew you were Fa's , what forms it took,
It started early. I do remember being fascinated by reading about waddling ducks in 1st grade.

My real start though was a woman who belonged to the same club that my parents did. I remember her in her bathing suit after she came out of swimming at the pool. I was probably about 8.

At age 11, I inherited my dad's Playboy collection in my parents separation. A friend and I inspected my treasure together. I remember him just going sideways, while all I saw were pretty girls. Pretty, but I wasn't being affected nearly as much as he was.

At 14/15, the hormones were going off loudly enough that all girls excited me, but I always preferred the plump ones, and there was never a girlfriend that I didn't secretly wish was fatter.

At age 16, I remember reading about the founding of NAAFA. I couldn't find the address to join, but just knowing that there was such a group was comforting.

After age 23, I dated BBWs pretty much exclusively. My tastes seem to be for larger and larger women.
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Old 10-04-2006, 07:47 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by estrata
As an FFA, I can safely say I was interested in fat since I was six or younger. I used to play garfield the VERY fat cat... none of my friends got it. I also used to pack my barbie's clothes to make her fat. And I would go all read faced whenever anyone said the word “belly”. LOL. I just found out a few years ago that my parents knew well before I did. Well, at least they knew I had a thing for “bellies”.

Also, I would definitally recommend discussing it with him. It's like "the talk" for FAs, I think. Birds and bees… and fat. But I felt really isolated, like I was totally weird, up until I was about 22. Until I found this website, actually. But then again, it seems to be easier for guys than it is for girls.
This is interesting--when I was young, I remember that a locus of pleasure for me (just pleasure, not sexual pleasure) was my stomach. I used to ask for belly rubs from, say, my mom. It just felt nice to have a hand going round and round my belly. Very comforting. I probably haven't had a belly rub in 25 years!
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:03 AM   #11
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:07 AM   #12
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:21 AM   #13
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For me, I always had a fasination with large women, since an early age.

In my teen, I couldn't figuare out why I was not attracted to the thin women as much as the others. It wasn't until I saw my first large sexy women that I figuared it out.
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Old 10-04-2006, 08:34 AM   #14
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Wow, you all have given me a lot to munch on.Thank you. I do not really know how much my teen knows about his self as there is other sexual debates going on in his head as well. However over and over again the mention of padding the clothes comes about, and
Quote:
elle camino asked "what exactly about this kid makes you think this about him?"
well I'll lay it out. He has in fact done the padding, but always as a women form. Ever time he has gotten a chance to dress in a bigger dress (most often my mothers clothes) and pad up he does. * I had never thought about it in terms of Fa'ism before. He has a fascination with (can we make the cat fatter), the dog would look so cute fatter! He constantly tells me, how pretty I am, how beautiful I am, if I say something off handed about the way I look or about being fat, he jumps to saying your beautiful. He hates the loosing weight commercials to the point he gets red in the face and turns the channels. Then there is, he asking me if I am hungering about a hundred times a day. We can have just ate and we will ask me if I had enough If I want more. Example We had pork chops the other night and I had already eaten two huge ones, mashed potatoes, field peas, and two slices of potatoes bread when I go to get up he goes "is that all your going to eat, don't you want another pork chop! Sometimes I feel like saying to him , hun how does eatting and fat make you feel but I don't want to scar him for life. My mother thinks with all his sexual issues, * not knowing which way he leans(girl/boy) etc. I should not dress the way I do, and now his aunt (my roommate) says maybe because of the Fa'ism thing coming up I should possible dress different. Like you can cover up 600lbs. IF skin is showing or not its still there. I don't want to make things more complicated for him, though.
Quote:
Jes said "This is interesting--when I was young, I remember that a locus of pleasure for me (just pleasure, not sexual pleasure) was my stomach. I used to ask for belly rubs from, say, my mom. It just felt nice to have a hand going round and round my belly. Very comforting. I probably haven't had a belly rub in 25 years!"
quite possible the same reason I love belly rubs now. I had them a lot as a child.
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Old 10-04-2006, 09:16 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueeyedevie
quite possible the same reason I love belly rubs now. I had them a lot as a child.
You know another thing I really liked? I'd go lie on the carpeted floor by the back sliding-glass doors, in a big sunspot (in the winter). It was so soothing! that and a belly rub.

Now it's dawned on me: I wanted to be a cat!!
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Old 10-04-2006, 09:53 AM   #16
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Interesting.
There is a 15 year old neighbour boy who seems to have remembered a time when he and my child were younger and I would play with them in the park with a certain..uh..fondness... The 2 kids used to climb on me and I would try to get them off my body. It was a very physical thing and the 3 of us would end up exhaused, laughing, lying on our backs, talking.

Something about the way he recounted how much fun he had, made me think... and remember that he is a teenager now.

I don't want to encourage this.



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Old 10-04-2006, 09:57 AM   #17
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As a kid I had some sort of sympathy or fellow-feeling for fat people (even though I wasn't particularly fat), but as is usually the case with kids (I think) I didn't really analyze those feelings or recognize the pattern all that strongly. Then early on 6th grade puberty suddenly hit. I can still recall sitting in class one day and suddenly noticing in a whole different way the one girl who had already developed a figure. She was a bit chubby, and I imagined a sort of invisible bond running from my belly to hers (not that I had almost any belly or that she had much of one, but compared to our thin classmates we did). From then on I had a pretty active fantasy life. A lot of my early fantasies were about a group of chubby boys and girls all competing to see who could get fattest--although starting off off thinnest I'd end up fattest, and so get to date the girl who ended up fattest (yah, I was not too sophisticated, about all I knew of dating came from Archie comics). I of course spent a lot of time imagining various people getting fatter. I tried padding my clothes occasionally.

Fairly early on most of my fantasies moved to not include me--imagining this or these fat people, increasingly characters that I invented rather than real people. Somewhere in there a fair number of these fantasies were about a female getting fat, more or less from her perspective. Not me turning into a fat woman, but trying to imagine it from the growing woman's perspective. I did try on mom or sister's stuff a few times in my early teens. By my mid-teens I pretty much had suppressed that side of things and mostly kept it squelched for the next several years.

I never tried fattening up pets, but come to think of it the cat we had when I hit puberty was fat, and I kind of liked that no matter what my mom did to limit the cat's food, the cat would just go out and catch more mice, rabbits, or birds to maintain her roly-poly figure. I liked her independance, her ability to hunt so succesfully despite her chubbiness, and that she didn't let anyone force her to be slim. I always did claim that the cat raised me as much or more than anyone else, maybe she influenced me that way too, even if I didn't recognize it?

OK, enough about me. I'll throw in a few thoughts about your situation. How old was this boy when you came into his life? Are you a real anchor of safety and stability in his world? Part of what I'm wondering is if you are so important to him that he is getting very protective of you, and in some, probably sub-concious, way trying to protect you from a thin-obsessed world? That you should get to live in fat world, there should be no talk of weight loss around you, idealized female figures should also be fat, etc.

Which is not to say he might not be an FA and/or feeder. Those are possible too. For what it is worth, the number of FA with some degree of trans-genderness seems higher than average, I think. Not a majority by any means, but I've encountered a fair amount of interest in things like 'male turns into a BBW' stories. Also for some FA, fat people of both genders are attractive, even if their sexual preference tends to go to one gender or the other. So if he only knows a limited number of fat people he may only know that some of them excite him, without being able to understand exactly how or what general features (like gender!) he prefers.

Finally, is he fat himself? Whether or not he is, he could be what I call an auto-FA, that is someone who admires themselves fat. Some of these are also feedees, some simply like being fat/want to be fat, without having any particular interest in gaining except as a means to an end. If most of the fat role models around are female this could also add to gender issues--he wants to be fat, he knows there are great fat women around, then the acceptable way to be fat is to be female.

I hope this is of at least some help to you.

Regards;

Ed
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Old 10-04-2006, 10:10 AM   #18
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I don't mean to hijack this, but I've been thinking about this subject for a little while now--concerning one of my nephews. They're 4 and almost 6. We've never been really close, because we lived a couple states apart, but I've been nannying them for about the last month. They're both sweet and cuddly but I've noticed that the older of the two seems fascinated by my belly. The other night, the younger boy had a nightmare and I went into to the room to lie down with him and help him get back to sleep. I dozed off. When I woke up, my older nephew was sort of 'fluffing' my belly as a pillow. He hugs my belly a lot, actually. Obviously this isn't anything sexual, but I do think it's a matter of comfort. I wonder if he's a budding FA.
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Old 10-04-2006, 10:10 AM   #19
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I would say that unless this boy is severely emotionally or developmentally stunted, by 15 he is probably aware of his feelings. It certainly does sound like he is an FA of some sort, although trending towards feederism given his apparently strong equating of food and fat. But, it sounds like he knows what he is feeling. I'd offer the suggestion that having a talk with him probably isn't necessary and may give him the wrong impression of your intentions.
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Old 10-04-2006, 10:32 AM   #20
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As an FA I always gravitated towards Fat women even before I realized there was anything sexual related to it. Since he is 14 he is probablly past that stage of things, but probably very confused since most people equate fat = ugly.

I would certainly not confront him about anything right now. Most boys hormones are starting to cogitate at this age and I would treat him like any other male human. I wouldn't worry about putting him in any particular box, he is his own idividual.

I would try to see if you can draw him out to get to what he is thinking/feeling. I think you might be an object of a teenage crush.

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Old 10-04-2006, 10:56 AM   #21
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His feelings may have everything to do with being around you Evie.
Kids growing up around a fat person or super sized person get to know that person on a real level. They love you no matter your size. Then they hear about society and their fat phobic ways and I think that makes the child angry and want to protect their fat family member or friend.
That is how it is in my case. In my family, I have 3 daughters and 1 niece. My oldest girl would probably knock anyone out who dared to make any fat comment about her Mom. My other 2 are too little for that but my niece who is 9 is always telling me she loves me ad thinks I'm beautiful. If I ever make a comment about being fat she tells me no I'm not and reminds me I am beautiful.

Now will they become FFA's? Who knows. I do think they will be tolerant and accepting of fat people b/c of me. A lot more than a kid who has never been around a fat person and/or has been taught by their parents that fat is ugly and wrong.
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Old 10-04-2006, 01:00 PM   #22
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Cool When I was young ...

I can't explain why I always be attracted by fat women. It began around the age of 10/11. to my opinion, it is like homosexuality, I feel that women who excited me are fat. When I was alone in my bed, when I had erotic thoughts, I'm thinking about fat girls, precisely a fat girl of my school, that I saw on the swimming pool each week. I imagined lots of films in my head, I was seeing me touching her, touching her body, I remembered the move of her body, of her flesh. But what you must understand is that I haven't choose this sexual preference. Until 20 years old and my discover of Internet, I was a closet FA. I didn't want this sexuality, this sexuality that I qualified perversion. I wasn't like my school's friends. I was excited by the girls they all joke about. The ugly girls. I was very alone with this preference and sexuality, I really believe I'm pervert, and I try to do everything to disappear it. But it didn't work. For example, when I'm jacking off (I'm sorry, I know only this sentence), I try to motivate me by thinking of thin girl. But no, it didn't work like this. This attraction came again. How many time have I promised that I will not exciting me by thinking of a fat girl again ? I was very alone with that, very alone.

One day, I have bought with lots of shame an erotic magazine called "Charnelles" (It is the French version of Voluptuous). I know that in this magazine, girls are not very fat. Just plump. Big sometimes. But I was young and I don't know other publications like that. And in this magazine, I have read (red?) a letter of a reader, a very great letter form me, that said that this magazine was fantastic, because it showed to people that there are men who loved fat women. For me, it was a first revelation, a first little step : I realized that I wasn't alone. I realized that there's other men like me. Some years after that, I have discover Internet. I'm always in the closet, and go on Internet to looking for Fat girls pics (Jacking off rules !). And I have discovered Dimensions website. That's why I always respect Dimension Founder, because this website helped me accepting my sexuality. Step by step, day after day, I accept this sexuality, and has less shame about that. One day, I have met a BBW, my first real girlfriend (a BBW from Germany, Munchen), and I walk with her in the street, I take her hand in my hand, and kisses her in public. For me, that was new, that was a step in my acceptance, that was a political action : Yes, I was proud of what I am, I was proud of my sexuality.

I 'm not answering directly to the question, it's more a confession. It's the first time I write this in English, the first time I find the English words and sentence to express that :-)

Bye bye.
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Old 10-04-2006, 01:08 PM   #23
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That was beautiful, Dean. I think many of us who went through the experience of realization can very much relate to that.

Some people seem to find it easier to accept when they are going through puberty. I was always told fat is bad – my dad was fat (not overly so) and my mom was constantly harping at him to loose weight. No one around me when I was growing up was obese. So I don’t think proximity to fat people is the reason people grow up to be FAs/FFAs. But perhaps it helps people feel okay about their preference, whereas others who grow up hearing how awful fat is grow up thinking they are perverted.

I think like Dean said, it is similar to homosexuality. That is what I decided as well awhile ago. And just like some homosexuals admit their preference to themselves when they are teenagers, for others it takes many years before they “come out of the closet”. For us, it is the same.
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Old 10-04-2006, 01:13 PM   #24
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Thanks for sharing that Deans.
The whole jacking off threw me off but I appreciate your honesty.
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Old 10-04-2006, 01:17 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by estrata
I think like Dean said, it is similar to homosexuality. That is what I decided as well awhile ago. And just like some homosexuals admit their preference to themselves when they are teenagers, for others it takes many years before they “come out of the closet”. For us, it is the same.
This idea is bothersome.

Homosexuality and digging fat people-similar? Not to me.
The only thing that I think may be similar is the shame associated with it until a person begins to accept it. There is a HUGE differnce between being a homosexual and being a FA or FFA.
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