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Old 10-04-2006, 03:26 PM   #26
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Originally Posted by deansfa
I can't explain why I always be attracted by fat women...
I always appreciate your candor, Deans... a bit cavalier (jerking off?!)... but, ah la vache! (lol) What can we do? Honesty is honesty
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Old 10-04-2006, 03:28 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by CuteyChubb
This idea is bothersome.

Homosexuality and digging fat people-similar? Not to me.
The only thing that I think may be similar is the shame associated with it until a person begins to accept it. There is a HUGE differnce between being a homosexual and being a FA or FFA.
Whatever. You get the idea
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Old 10-04-2006, 03:59 PM   #28
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I grew up in a family of fat women. My grandmother, who was quite large, my mother, who is large, and my oldest sister who is also large. I was a tiny thing until I went to live with my grandmother at the age of 7. I should post a picture of me from kindergarten and first-grade so that you call can see the difference sometime. But anyway, back to my point!

After I went to live with my grandmother, I gained quite a bit of weight. This was mainly due to my grandmother's "fattening" foods she served up at the dinner table. I would purposely stuff myself to the point of making myself sick, just so I could get my grandmother to rub my belly.

As I grew older, I realized that the vast majority of my friends (and even still to this day) were/are large. My best friend is a BHM, and is one of the most amazing people I know. I've watched him gain more and more weight over the years, and watched his belly grow. I love the way his belly hangs over the top of his pants, and the way it sways as he walks.

I'm notorious for serving up my Southern dishes and adding extra butter, cream, or even bacon grease to my cooking. I love to cook, but I also love to watch people eat what I've cooked. I guess some might classify this as a "feeder" or sorts, and I would in some ways as well. I find fat rolls and fattening food to be very comforting. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.
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Old 10-04-2006, 04:25 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by Butterbelly
I grew up in a family of fat women. My grandmother, who was quite large, my mother, who is large, and my oldest sister who is also large. I was a tiny thing until I went to live with my grandmother at the age of 7. I should post a picture of me from kindergarten and first-grade so that you call can see the difference sometime. But anyway, back to my point!

After I went to live with my grandmother, I gained quite a bit of weight. This was mainly due to my grandmother's "fattening" foods she served up at the dinner table. I would purposely stuff myself to the point of making myself sick, just so I could get my grandmother to rub my belly.

As I grew older, I realized that the vast majority of my friends (and even still to this day) were/are large. My best friend is a BHM, and is one of the most amazing people I know. I've watched him gain more and more weight over the years, and watched his belly grow. I love the way his belly hangs over the top of his pants, and the way it sways as he walks.

I'm notorious for serving up my Southern dishes and adding extra butter, cream, or even bacon grease to my cooking. I love to cook, but I also love to watch people eat what I've cooked. I guess some might classify this as a "feeder" or sorts, and I would in some ways as well. I find fat rolls and fattening food to be very comforting. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.
I hear ya, Butter I love being bigger. It's cozy. I would feel weird a smaller size. I like the parts the way they are at the size they are. Not that what I look like determines my entire ID. I bring that up because some other dumb shmuck will if I don't. Isn't it nice we sometimes have to be so defensive in here? That's why I get so uninterested in this at times. I like my stuff on my body the way it is. I like big girls. I think they're ten times more beautiful than thin women. If they have a brain, that's bonus points. But you're already ahead by a century if you're a fat girl. :P
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Old 10-04-2006, 09:06 PM   #30
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I'ave always been attracted to fat women. Part of that is because my dad's mom was fat until she reached her late 80s, several of my cousins were fat, my mom was fat when I was a teen, and my dad dated 2 fat women when I was 10. I liked Miss Piggy and Nell Carter when I was a child and I had a crush on Rikki Lake when I was 18. Until I was 25, I dated women of all builds because I liked all women. I still do. But at 25, everything changed after I dated my first BBW. I don't know exactly when this inclination started. It's always been a part of me.
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Old 10-05-2006, 01:52 AM   #31
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Ed Wrote:"OK, enough about me. I'll throw in a few thoughts about your situation. How old was this boy when you came into his life? Are you a real anchor of safety and stability in his world? Part of what I'm wondering is if you are so important to him that he is getting very protective of you, and in some, probably sub-concious, way trying to protect you from a thin-obsessed world? That you should get to live in fat world, there should be no talk of weight loss around you, idealized female figures should also be fat, etc.

Which is not to say he might not be an FA and/or feeder. Those are possible too. For what it is worth, the number of FA with some degree of trans-genderness seems higher than average, I think. Not a majority by any means, but I've encountered a fair amount of interest in things like 'male turns into a BBW' stories. Also for some FA, fat people of both genders are attractive, even if their sexual preference tends to go to one gender or the other. So if he only knows a limited number of fat people he may only know that some of them excite him, without being able to understand exactly how or what general features (like gender!) he prefers.

Finally, is he fat himself? Whether or not he is, he could be what I call an auto-FA, that is someone who admires themselves fat. Some of these are also feedees, some simply like being fat/want to be fat, without having any particular interest in gaining except as a means to an end. If most of the fat role models around are female this could also add to gender issues--he wants to be fat, he knows there are great fat women around, then the acceptable way to be fat is to be female.

I hope this is of at least some help to you.

Regards;

Ed"


OK so He is 15 now. I have actually known him since he was born. However as we all know I was a lot thinner when I was in high school, and for a long period he was not in my life. "T" come back into my life when a traumatic divorce, child custody case come up between his mother and step father. I shall briefly say some sexual abuse was thrown into the mix. T's aunt (my roommate) got guardian ship of him when he was 13 , at that time he was going threw Cancer surgery, treatment and trips back and forth to St. Jude. Even now he is in, a boot and just got off crutches because the bone in his foot will not heal form a fracture he got at the first of last year in a car wreck going to a check up in Tenn. Due to radiation his bones just want heal. In all forms I have become his mother. His mother doesn't call or come by. He never was hugged, kissed, loved very much till he came to live with his aunt and I. His aunt isn't a touchy, feel person so it leaves me to love him. WHICH when he first got here was what he needed and he needed a lot of it. I like the thought that he is protective over me instead of becoming a fa. NO offense, but that is a bit of an uneasy situation if he was feeling that way towards or because of someone he calls his mother. He is not fat. During the cancer surgery time (before the treatment) because we didn't know if it would be cemo or radiation the doctors suggested we let him eat ever thing in sight. So at that time an overly thin boy developed boy boobs, but he isn't fat. I feel he has bad issues about his body because between the sudden weight gain at that time, and the radiation and the weight drop he has stretch marks something terrible. Often referred to mine on my shoulders as being so much better than his on his legs (where his are the worst). Then also as far as I know, he doesn't know to many very fat people. In the town we live in there is quiet a few BBW's on the smaller scale but I am one of the few SSBBW's. Probably the only one you will see out and about. One of my friends today told me that I really should watch the way I dress because it can't be helping the situation. I feel really bad now as I didn't think nothing about it. I dress as any of my slim friends would in boxers and wife beaters around the house. So I guess I'll change that habit. Least pull some jogging pants on.


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NFA said:
"I would say that unless this boy is severely emotionally or developmentally stunted, by 15 he is probably aware of his feelings. It certainly does sound like he is an FA of some sort, although trending towards feederism given his apparently strong equating of food and fat. But, it sounds like he knows what he is feeling. I'd offer the suggestion that having a talk with him probably isn't necessary and may give him the wrong impression of your intentions."
Well, in fact as I said earlier He dose have issues. He doesn't know if he is gay or straight for one. He had some horrible things happen to him as a child, and he has to deal with the fact at any moment his cancer could come back. As well as now his bones will not heal and he may have to have bone replacement. So yes there is some issues there. I truely do believe he dose not know about being a Fa, Nor does he know if he finds feeding exciting or its just something hes into right now.

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Cute Cubb"Now will they become FFA's? Who knows. I do think they will be tolerant and accepting of fat people b/c of me. A lot more than a kid who has never been around a fat person and/or has been taught by their parents that fat is ugly and wrong. "
I think this is wonderful of your kids and niece. I think your also right about kids wanting to protect who they get love from. I have seen a big change in T, since he first come here not only against fat people but people with difference in general.
The major thing I have gotten form every one is, give T room. Let him develop his self. I do stress to him constantly that It is OK to not know if he is straight, gay or even knowing what turns him on due to the fact he is young and he has his whole life ahead of him to figure out. Just knowing that he is to young to be having any form of sex and to always come to me are his aunt if he has questions and don't depend on his class mates for the correct information is the most important thing. So I guess I'll just have to clean up my dressing, watch what I say, and be patient. THANK you all, and DEAN your statement was very touching. I think it is the same for Fat women finding out that there not the only fat girl in the world. It's a revelation.

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Old 10-05-2006, 02:16 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by CuteyChubb
This idea is bothersome.
Homosexuality and digging fat people-similar? Not to me.
The only thing that I think may be similar is the shame associated with it until a person begins to accept it. There is a HUGE differnce between being a homosexual and being a FA or FFA.
I can't speak for Dean, but he might mean they're similar in that many of us are "wired" that way, meaning someone who's gay is wired to be turned on by the same sex and they can't change that, and likewise for FA's.
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Old 10-05-2006, 02:26 AM   #33
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Evie, it sounds like you're right to be concerned, but at the same time it doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong. If he's padding and stuff like that he's probably got plenty of ideas running around in his head already. He's been through a lot for someone that age and the best to do might just be continue to provide stability and support for him.
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Old 10-05-2006, 03:05 AM   #34
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Originally Posted by CuteyChubb
This idea is bothersome.

Homosexuality and digging fat people-similar? Not to me.
The only thing that I think may be similar is the shame associated with it until a person begins to accept it. There is a HUGE differnce between being a homosexual and being a FA or FFA.
I think it is an evidence that homosexuality and fat people attractiveness are different. I didn't speak about this evidence. If I said that there are similarities between closet FAs and closet homosexuals, it concerns the discover of their sexuality, their first sexual thoughts and the distress about them, the loneliness and the impossibility to speak with school's friends about it, the fact that we don't choose it, sometimes the need to hide it, the need to be like other people; Sometimes adopting similar attitudes than "normal" people : dating with thin women, having a thin girlfriend, to hide homosexuality for homosexuals, to hide fat attraction for FAs. And maybe, with a more difficult way for homosexual people (FA aren't beaten to death when they talk about their sexual identity), some similar points in their way of acceptance.
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Old 10-05-2006, 04:44 AM   #35
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I think what was meant by that was that most FA say they knew from early ages that they were fascinated or attracted to fat. Just as many homosexuals say they "always" knew or knew from the time they were children that they were "different" or that their feelings towards those of the same sex were different from just liking the other person.

One side note, involving pets in this is unfair. It may seem like a little thing in the scheme of this young man's troubles, but a pet, like a child depends on others for its care and safety. It's not cute or funny to let him overfeed a dog or cat and it's not cute for an animal to be 'roly poly' or 'chubby'. You are exposing a helpless creature to potential health problems and it is wrong. When humans engage in feeding, it is ideally with a willing partner who is aware of the potential health issues.

It's also important to remember this whole FA/Feeder thing is sexually grounded, so I'd be careful of involving too much sex talk with a kid who is already confused. I'd just stick to letting him know that everyone has different tastes and whatever your personal preferences are as far as appearance or sexual attraction, they should be respected. I'd stay away from the sexual aspect in the same way that a child who is fascinated with large breasts should not be allowed to touch them. The interest can be acknowleged but should not be indulged.
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Old 10-05-2006, 05:57 AM   #36
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OK so He is 15 now. I have actually known him since he was born. However as we all know I was a lot thinner when I was in high school, and for a long period he was not in my life. "T" come back into my life when a traumatic divorce, child custody case come up between his mother and step father.
I don't know if you asked for advice per se, but I recently saw something on a 20/20 type tv program about sexually abused children and parenting them. There's a special kind of hug that you can share with these children which allows for physical closeness, but not the wrong kind of physical closeness. You put your arm around them sideways (as in: that arm-and-arm walking down the street thing) and they you. It's not as close as full frontal, but then it avoids the issues of full frontal, too. And since most people who have had something abusive happen to them in the past (sexual) turn out to live a lifetstyle that includes that too, sadly, it might be a good thing to teach him, with others in the house. Just a thought. I'd never tell you how to do what you're doing.
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Old 10-05-2006, 09:03 AM   #37
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Jes:I don't know if you asked for advice per se, but I recently saw something on a 20/20 type tv program about sexually abused children and parenting them. There's a special kind of hug that you can share with these children which allows for physical closeness, but not the wrong kind of physical closeness. You put your arm around them sideways (as in: that arm-and-arm walking down the street thing) and they you. It's not as close as full frontal, but then it avoids the issues of full frontal, too. And since most people who have had something abusive happen to them in the past (sexual) turn out to live a lifetstyle that includes that too, sadly, it might be a good thing to teach him, with others in the house. Just a thought. I'd never tell you how to do what you're doing.
Thank you Jes.. It was really thoughtful for you to post this. Have you heard of RAD. Recently I had my attentions called to it and thought in many ways that T suffered form this. RAD can ben very difficult. I talked to his therapist about this and she to agrees that I am right on key with my findings. She did warn me however of two things One that there is many teachings and "so say" ways to handle Rad. She told me that the way that his aunt and I have been handling the sistuation in the home have been right on key and I should always use what I know as a base line of what to follow in the examples of teachings. Second things she warned me about is the part of Rad that says to give extreme love and babying to a child. She said when a child has sexual issues this isn't the thing to do but when also faced with Rad you can not take loving away form them all together either. YOU have to find your safe zone. LIKE THE SIDE WAYS HUGS... VERY wonderful suggestion which in fact we do embrace. I am a kisses , I was raised to kiss the people in your family, in fact we didn't hug all that much at all. So must of the time I kiss him on the cheek or nose any way and by pass the hug and bodily contact altogether.

Just one thought about the hole topic on gay being like FA's.. I can't say. BUT my best friend and I often compared our selves to each other. HE would say , I just don't fit any where , and I would in return say the same thing as a fat women. SO I wounder if what we should be saying here is diversity is a common bond between all humans. Or at least most.
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Old 10-05-2006, 11:04 AM   #38
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Originally Posted by blueeyedevie
[COLOR="DarkOrchid"]So at that time an overly thin boy developed boy boobs, but he isn't fat. I feel he has bad issues about his body because between the sudden weight gain at that time, and the radiation and the weight drop he has stretch marks something terrible. Often referred to mine on my shoulders as being so much better than his on his legs (where his are the worst).
Just a thought. Has he read "It's Not About the Bike" by Lance Armstrong? This book details Lance's journey through cancer and leads up to his Tour De France wins. Could give him a positive role model. And as he gets better if you could scrounge up a bike for him, that would give him a way to strengthen himself, lose weight and make his legs better looking.
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Old 10-06-2006, 03:34 PM   #39
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Originally Posted by blueeyedevie
Wow, you all have given me a lot to munch on.Thank you. I do not really know how much my teen knows about his self as there is other sexual debates going on in his head as well. However over and over again the mention of padding the clothes comes about, and well I'll lay it out. He has in fact done the padding, but always as a women form. Ever time he has gotten a chance to dress in a bigger dress (most often my mothers clothes) and pad up he does. * I had never thought about it in terms of Fa'ism before. He has a fascination with (can we make the cat fatter), the dog would look so cute fatter! He constantly tells me, how pretty I am, how beautiful I am, if I say something off handed about the way I look or about being fat, he jumps to saying your beautiful. He hates the loosing weight commercials to the point he gets red in the face and turns the channels. Then there is, he asking me if I am hungering about a hundred times a day. We can have just ate and we will ask me if I had enough If I want more. Example We had pork chops the other night and I had already eaten two huge ones, mashed potatoes, field peas, and two slices of potatoes bread when I go to get up he goes "is that all your going to eat, don't you want another pork chop! Sometimes I feel like saying to him , hun how does eatting and fat make you feel but I don't want to scar him for life. My mother thinks with all his sexual issues, * not knowing which way he leans(girl/boy) etc. I should not dress the way I do, and now his aunt (my roommate) says maybe because of the Fa'ism thing coming up I should possible dress different. Like you can cover up 600lbs. IF skin is showing or not its still there. I don't want to make things more complicated for him, though.
quite possible the same reason I love belly rubs now. I had them a lot as a child.
Well, the boy is certainly right, you are very attractive. To be honest, I was a little yealous at that bag of marshmellows you were hugging in the "un-made-up" picture thread.

To be honest, I really don't recognize the behavior of this boy. I was certainly aware of my FA feelings at that age. They already started at an much earlier age, I think 8 or 9, but I didn't really understood the feelings I experienced at at that age. But when I was around 14 or 15, I did know very well. There were no fat people in my neighborhood, nor in my family. But many in my dreams.
However, I've never fantasized about being fat myself, nor being a woman.

The story you tell about this boy however, reminds me of Mischa's website. He first thought he was an FA, but later discovered that he was actually gay. His story however, is remarkably similar to what you tell here.

Mischa's website, a survey mainly aimed at feeders and feedees/gainers is not online anymore, but still accessible via the way back machine.

If you like to read it, here's a link to the wayback machine (web archive).

http://www.archive.org/web/web.php

On that page, search for this website:

http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Village/1905/

Especially the belly thoughts section probably gives you a few hints.
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Old 10-07-2006, 08:59 AM   #40
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Hello to all here!
While I may seem new to the forums , I've been here before (a couple of years ago). The responses to this post are great and I would like to add my experience, knowledge and advice. First off let me give some current info: I'm 36 years old, work in the home healthcare field. I'm an FA twice over, because of the fact that I'm bi-sexual and attracted to SSBBWS and SUPERCHUBS (counterparts to SSBBWS in the gay/bi community). So I feel I have a rather unique perspective on the subject of FA's, FFA's, etc. I realized I was an FA when I was in elementary. Possessing a very "old spirit" also came with it's own unconventional mindsets. First off I was not into the girls at all, I was attracted to the grown, adult BBW teachers. I just didn't give girls any attention at all, it's like I knew what I wanted even though I knew I couldn't have it yet. There was a female gym coach who was actually an SSBBW, my music teacher Mrs. Bundy (older bbw,Aunt Bea type),and my 4th grade teacher Mrs. Spears (BBW/SSBBW). I remember seeing these women and being totally excited about them. watching their every move. Looking at the faces/cheeks, eyes,necks, breasts,arms,fingers, thighs, calves and buttocks. Wishing I could touch them, feel them. Being young could be pure torture, especially with age differences and status levels involved. My GrandMother was a bbw and one of my Dad's older sisters was a SSBBW. But they didn't influence my attraction much because I wasn't around either one of them a whole lot. And I hadn't attached them to any of my fantasies or personal thoughts. What I've come to realize just recently is that I really never thought about when I became an FA or realized my attraction to fat women. It seemed normal to be attracted, excited, aroused, in love(crush) with very fat women. Now I can tell you that about three years ago I finally put it together that some of my attractions started by way of television. Growing up I used to watch "HEE-HAW" and love to see Roy Clark, LuLu Roman, Junior Samples, Kenny Price and a few other chub guys. There were other shows out like "That's My Momma and later "What's Happening", both shows having large women as role models. Since I was a very unconventional thinker I was very good at not letting anyone know of my attractions, it wasn't because I was ashamed or felt bad about it, it was simply the mindset that I had at the time was like -"HEY whatever I'm thinking about or like, is no one's business but mine." I know that sounds wild for someone so young at the time , but I didn't feel young and have never felt young my entire life. I know it sounds weird but that's my experience.

When I entered high school I had come to the decision that I wanted a girlfriend and I was very aware of the social stigmas that existed. But, I said to myself I wasn't going to let what society dictates, keep me from being happy. I should note that around this same time I had developed a very strong love for a woman who was the wife of a very much older cousin of mine. She was a bbw and we had very close friendship but it never went any further than that. Being that I was 14 years old, going on 15, saying anything about my feeling for her , to her, would have ran her off. So it was better to be close and enjoy the comradery then to not have been around her at all. This part is really long and complexed and goes a lot longer than this post would permit. Anyway, it was also during this time that I realized I was attracted to fat men as well. It happened one afternoon , I was watching the game show "Win,Lose or Draw" with host Burt Convey and Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise were on. Well I had watched the show before but this time it was different, I found myself being very interested in Dom Deluise and before I knew it I realized that was attracted to him,very aroused by him . This revelation made me realize that my attractions were much more intricate than before. I had just set my sites on being open about my attraction to large women and then now I have to deal with being attracted to large men too. Well I was very calm about, it wasn't as stressful as the previous sentence may have sounded.lol. After that revelation had sunk in, I was dealt another blow of sorts. A good one!

A classmate of mine had come by my grandmother's house one weekend. He was not really a close friend of mine but rather an aquaintance. He was trying to become a friend. He was one of those guys who like to make up stories about himself to impress everyone or certain people so that they would think he was really together or cool or something. Well. he was all full of laughs and jokes and he also had a magazine with him. This magazine was an adult publication called "The Girl Next Door". He had stolen it out of his father's foot locker and had brought it to me because he wanted to show me something funny, so he said. This magazine's mission statement was like-"We feature women who don't fit the pin-up girl mold. Our mission is to bring you real women, from every walk of life. We know that there men who appreciate such women and we hope you enjoy what they have to offer"- something to that affect. I hadn't told this guy that I was attracted to big or fat women, so he proceeds to show me some pictures out of this magazine. The picture he wanted to show me was of a older fat woman. He thought it was funny, because she was fat. Well, I wasn't amused, I was astounded. Never in a million years had I thought that a nudie magazine would have such a woman in it. I had seen playboy(HATED IT!) and I wasn't impressed. This was great! There was actually a magazine with not only one fat woman in it but there were two featured. Now mind you, this magazine was published back in 1969, two months before I was even born. Here I am some 14 years later seeing something I had only imaged and here was this idiot displaying it to ME as if it were a joke. Long story short, he left the magazine not knowing that he had done something that would send me on a quest to find more adult magazines featuring beautiful fat women and eventually led me to discover Dimensions magazine some six years later. Sorry, I forgot to mention that after the whole magazine revelation I did find a girlfriend during my 10th grade year. She was a bbw, probably more of an ssbbw, even at that time because she was the largest girl at school at the time. It also would interest you to know that I knew her all the way back from kindergarden. We were together for 4 years but eventually parted about 6 months after I moved to Houston, Texas. Now, I'm in a 6 year relationship with a wonderful SSBBW and yes she knows of my other attraction and is very understanding, actually her love is unconditional. Well, I hope it wasn't too long of a reply. I did edit alot to save time. So if you have any questions I can go more indepth if need be. Thanks for letting me ramble on.
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Old 10-07-2006, 10:21 AM   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueeyedevie
Wow, you all have given me a lot to munch on.Thank you. I do not really know how much my teen knows about his self as there is other sexual debates going on in his head as well. However over and over again the mention of padding the clothes comes about, and well I'll lay it out. He has in fact done the padding, but always as a women form. Ever time he has gotten a chance to dress in a bigger dress (most often my mothers clothes) and pad up he does. * I had never thought about it in terms of Fa'ism before. He has a fascination with (can we make the cat fatter), the dog would look so cute fatter! He constantly tells me, how pretty I am, how beautiful I am, if I say something off handed about the way I look or about being fat, he jumps to saying your beautiful. He hates the loosing weight commercials to the point he gets red in the face and turns the channels. Then there is, he asking me if I am hungering about a hundred times a day. We can have just ate and we will ask me if I had enough If I want more. Example We had pork chops the other night and I had already eaten two huge ones, mashed potatoes, field peas, and two slices of potatoes bread when I go to get up he goes "is that all your going to eat, don't you want another pork chop! Sometimes I feel like saying to him , hun how does eatting and fat make you feel but I don't want to scar him for life. My mother thinks with all his sexual issues, * not knowing which way he leans(girl/boy) etc. I should not dress the way I do, and now his aunt (my roommate) says maybe because of the Fa'ism thing coming up I should possible dress different. Like you can cover up 600lbs. IF skin is showing or not its still there. I don't want to make things more complicated for him, though.
quite possible the same reason I love belly rubs now. I had them a lot as a child.

The issue of padding can simply be acting out. He sees you as an attractive, strong woman. Emphasis on the word "STRONG", he is equating size with strength and since you are the only large- sized adult he knows, he is emulating what he sees. What I see is that he wants to be bigger so he can in turn be stronger in order to combat the negative that has happened to him while at the same time combat any negative things that come your way (i.e.-comments, self-loathing,weight-loss commercials). HE IS AN FA, without a doubt, whether he'll be straight, gay or bi is merely something he'll have to come to a decision about when it arises. (No pun intended,group).

DON"T CHANGE THE WAY YOU DRESS! He will notice this right away. I'm sorry but some of the responses on this have been tame, so I'm going to give it to you straight. It's too late to change what has already been done, he took notice right off the bat. It's the FA thing at work. He has already imagined more about you than you care to imagine about yourself. He's a boy, it is perfectly natural. If it wasn't you, it would some other BBW/SSBBW. Don't be afraid, nothing wrong has occurred. No lines have been crossed. He still has things to figure out, but he is very aware that he can't have you, at least not realisticly. It's the first and most important "crush" of his life. He is rational and he is fragile. Changing the way you dress will make him feel that something is either wrong with you or him. You are OVER thinking this thing way too much. Yes, it's complicated, sex and growing up always has been and always will be. Just do what you originally said you would, be there for him if he has any questions. But if you feel that he is internalizing a lot more than normal then ask him if he wants to talk about anything or at least let him have the reassurance that he has someone that he can talk to.

On to another point: THERE IS NO FEEDER ISSUE INVOLVED. His attitude about making things fatter is merely a concept. There are many people who feel that everything looks better if it's bigger. It's just a feeling that he is sharing with you, but it's not the whole issue. Don't let what you know about certain aspects of FA's, taint what you feel "might be" happening with him. Each of us arrived at our place in FA'ism differently and some have similarities and some don't. If there is a feeder thing going on he will display it to someone he is more personal with, meaning: he won't display this until he is much older and with someone he is intimate with. If it's there at all. Just relax and let him express himself. For the most part making him feel secure in his current environment is the greatest thing you can do (have done). You are at a different place with this then most parents or guardians because a lot of parents had no idea that their sons or daughters were attracted to large people. If they had known or found out,without the knowledge that you possess, what do you think would have happen to someone like him or us.? Now do you see what I'm saying? It could be a lot worse for him, so he is fortunate to have an ENLIGHTENED,STRONG,SEXY,SSBBW like yourself! Besides if he does become an FA/FEEDER/TRANSGENDER BBW or SSBBW, would love him any less? I know you'll do just fine.
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Old 10-08-2006, 02:57 PM   #42
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I knew I was attracted to fat at a very early age, around 5 or 6 years old. In kindergarten there was a book about a boy who loved ice cream and ate and ate and grew fatter and fatter until at the end he became a baloon and floated away! I remember reading the diet adds in the Sunday paper and always thinking the before was so much better than after. By the time I got to junior high, I knew that not everyone felt this way. Also, I became aware that my parents where fat phobic and their constant criticism of fat people made it difficult for me to feel comfortable with my attraction at that time. I would advise trying to find a gentle way to explore this with your nephew and to send a positive message about his feelings/attractions. Good Luck!
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Old 10-09-2006, 05:23 AM   #43
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Here's my confession, that I have never discussed with anyone before: I am a heterosexual male and do not usually have any problem with gender identity, but my first awareness that I was an FA came in an unusual form. When I was 12 years old, at the age when I was first awakening sexually, I found that I was powerfully turned on by the fantasy of being a fat woman myself. I would imagine that I had the body of a BBW with large breasts and hips. I would think of being the fattest woman in a country where fat women were especially admired and this would totally turn me on. I recall once being completely lost in this fantasy as I walked to a class I was to take at a church and being startled and embarrassed when I was suddenly addressed by the priest who was walking along the road near the church. It was dark and I hoped that he had not noticed my erection.

As far as I can recall this phase only lasted for less than a year. After that I separated the idea of what I desired sexually from actually being that ideal myself.

When I look back on what might have caused me to become an FA, I think it might be in part a reaction to my upbringing. Despite the fact that my family was well off, I was not fed properly as a child. (This is an entire story in itself.) The idea of having plenty to eat was thus already a part of my fantasy life, and now I realize that this may be related to my early sexual idea.

One person who made my childhood somewhat happier was a large black woman who often took care of us. I don't remember fantasizing about her, but I do remember once when she sat on the floor and her dress rose up exposing her thighs, which surprised me by their huge circumference. I was too young to be really turned on, but I knew that I liked and was impressed by her thighs and her very large breasts. Maybe I have her to thank for the fact that I became an FA.
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Old 10-09-2006, 11:31 AM   #44
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Thanks for sharing that with us. Don't feel unusual. We are all different, some more than others. Who knows why we are the way we are. Anywho, welcome to Dims, and congrats on your 1st post.
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Old 10-09-2006, 04:41 PM   #45
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Well for me it was when I was even younger than just 14 or 15... it was when I was in Elementary school, in the third grade because I was getting picked on about everything under the sun, for being spoiled, to having been crossed eyed, then there was this girl that I met in third grade.. she was a big girl.. and already developed, but you know the dark side came out, and well.. you know.. that relationship, if you want to call it, fizzled. Then fifth grade I met a big girl who was Spanish, and lived near me named Milagro (She works at the same place I do) and she was well developed back then. I never knew what a BBW was until I found Dimensions freshman year of High School, then I was hooked! So.. i think it depends on the person themselves.
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Old 10-09-2006, 05:02 PM   #46
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Let's see here... I didn't really realiz how early it started for me until I took a moment to step into the mental Wayback Machine(tm).
My story:
Looking back, I can remember moments when I was... 12? Around that time... Not like it is now, but just... finding bigger people/things more pleasant.
And the girls in high school... There were a few that I just... felt odd around. Looking back with he knowledge I have now, I was an FA, but... didn't understand. If I knew then what I know now... Might have tried to get a bit closer to a couple of them. As I was, I was just awkward.
Now? Now, I spot plus-sized women from blocks away. XD

The two women who influenced my young life the most were my mother and my grandmother, both stocky women of German heritage (which is where I get most of my size... and my love of David Hasslehoff) Stocky... Grandma was plump... And Grandma had a philosophy that if you came to her house, if you left hungry, it was your own fault. Within 5 minutes, she'd ask if you've eaten lately and she's offered at least twice to whip something up (usually enough to fedd you and enough to send home with you for at least 2 more meals)
The men in my life: My grandfather (a bit hevier than average, brilliant and kind-hearted) and my father (thin as a rail, chain smoker and total a-hole.)

As for feeding... *shrugs*

As for advice... Umm... That, I'm in no position to give. IT'll just blow up in your face. (been one of 'those days')
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Old 10-12-2006, 08:38 PM   #47
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If I was to psycoanalyze myself I would think my FAism came up as a form of projection since as a diabetic i was unable to enjoy sweets and other food as much as other kids at a very young age so larger women represented the gluttony and enjoyment I couldn't have. Just like many FAs, i really came to terms with my preference towards larger women durring puberty but i always seemed to like larger girls/women.

The weird thing is, i found out mybrother also likes curvier women a year ago and i wonder why he developed his preference, especially since my mother is pretty thin
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Old 10-12-2006, 09:10 PM   #48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CJ the FA
If I was to psycoanalyze myself I would think my FAism came up as a form of projection since as a diabetic i was unable to enjoy sweets and other food as much as other kids at a very young age so larger women represented the gluttony and enjoyment I couldn't have. Just like many FAs, i really came to terms with my preference towards larger women durring puberty but i always seemed to like larger girls/women.

The weird thing is, i found out mybrother also likes curvier women a year ago and i wonder why he developed his preference, especially since my mother is pretty thin
After finding out about my preference for SSBBWs, my mother made the following statement: "I'm just wondering, why is it that you are attracted to fat women, when I'm not fat, I thought guys usually go for women that remind them of their mothers?"

My mother is a petite lady,5'5",120 lbs. I had to let her know that my preference for larger women had nothing to do with her, but everything to do with my view of what a woman looks like.
That I find the larger figure more in tune with my personal and sexual tastes.

She was still uncertain as how to take what I said but she respected my view enough not to feel intimidated by it. Now, we just laugh about it and she may not still fully understand it but at least she's accepted it. Even if she hadn't I would still be with SSBBWs. Don't let anyone keep you from being happy, not even family.

CJ, I think your brother just gained a vote of confidence from seeing you be so secure in your preference that he couldn't help but express his. Now you have someone who can easily understand you without you having to explain.
Having something in common should bring you and your brother closer together. As I'm sure it has.
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Old 10-13-2006, 12:04 AM   #49
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Can't really advise you on anything specific, just tell you my experiences as a female feeder/FA. I 'stuffed' a family member by bringing him food at age four (a story my mother often recounts for its 'cute' value, and which I find slightly creepy in retrospect) and definitely liked feeding my pets from age 8 onward. (I had some pretty pudgy rabbits).

I also used padding from age ten or so, had dreams/day dreams about being very obese from quite young.

This is actually a really fascinating thread.
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Old 10-13-2006, 12:29 AM   #50
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I first started realising my attraction to large women when i was about 11 or 12, but i reckon me being an FA started way back when i first started school. My favourite teacher there was a BBW and actually put on quite a bit of weight over my seven years in primary school. Around 11, i started noticing that i no longer looked at fat women with society's perceptions (fat=ugly). I'm not entirely sure but this might have been me rebelling against my parents' dislike of fat (they have they same views on fat that society does). I wasn't sure what was going on but there was something about fat women that i liked.

A big factor to me realising that i was an FA was when i was 12, in my first year of high school and around the time i was hitting puberty. I had to do a project on obesity and one of my tasks was getting pictures of fat people for a poster. That's when i discovered Dimensions and the world of BBWs on the net. As i browsed all these sites and google results, there was something about these big women that i found extremely attractive and sexy, especially the larger ones. Two things that gave me insight into the BBW community were the 900 club and the story 'The Fattest Girl in the World'. I started visiting these sites more often and kept on finding new BBW sites. I found HeatherBBW, Carolyn Owens, Cindy G and was mesmorised by their huge bellies, thighs and wide butts. Around this time i learnt the terms BBW, SSBBW and FA.

It was reasuring to know that there were other people (and lots of them) in the world that found fat women attractive. I kept on visiting BBW sites, finding more and more as time went by and i was probably 13 when i fully knew that i was an FA. Just the large size of a BBW's body and how soft they would be made me soooo attracted to them. It was also at age 13 that i knew that not only was i attracted to big women, but i liked women the bigger the better. And it's been that way since.

All this time i found slim women attractive and i still do. However, i would much prefer a SSBBW girlfriend and my ideal weight range for women is 300lb-700lb. While a lot of people may only fantasize about being with such a huge woman, if i ever ended up with a girlfriend well over 700lb, possibly even over 1000lb, i would be most content.

None of my friends know that i am an FA. They do not find BBW attractive at all. However, i couldn't be happier being an FA and i'm glad i found out that i was one at such an early age.

Just my story though,


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