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Old 11-18-2006, 12:57 AM   #1
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Default Fat touching random strangers

So I went dancing tonight - All Prince & Michael Jackson all night long, and let me tell you, it was the BEST.

That's not the point.

The point is I noticed at least 8 distinct times when a part of my fat body made full contact with someone else. I don't mean all the aggressive men who tried to "grind" with me, I mean my friends gesturing and hitting my belly, or a random guy lifting his elbow and getting about 3 inches into my boobs.

This doesn't include the countless people I slammed with my ass.

It got me thinking. I wonder what those hapless souls think when they end up with a fist full of ponderous belly or breast - things that they do not have or are familiar with. It's very strange to not only take up so much space but to have your body reaching out and touching strangers!

Anyone have similar experiences?
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Old 11-18-2006, 01:35 AM   #2
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I used to go watch my parents perform at a local retirement home. There was this old guy who used to come in with his wife, and he always sat next to me. I could depend on him, at several points during the evening to press my arm fat and giggle with glee (almost a "heee heeee heeee!" He got the cutest look on his face and just seemed to adore it; not in a sexual, creepy way, but in a way that let me know that he was an FA, and hadn't had much of a chance to experience fat, cushiony arms (his wife was skinny as a rail and very nice -- I think this amused her). It always made me laugh, too. The guy was lucky that he was so old and cute, as this is not the sort of thing that just anyone would get away with. He passed away seveal years ago, but I still remember the old guy with a bit of fondness.

When I had a different car than I do now, whomever rode in the front seat with me would use my right hip as an armrest. And I do mean whomever rode there. It's warm, it's soft, I guess it just seemed comfy to them. I didn't mind it. I'm an affectionate person anyway, so this stuff just seems natural to me.
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Old 11-18-2006, 02:18 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina
....It's warm, it's soft, I guess it just seemed comfy to them. I didn't mind it. ...
It's kind of funny how the impersonal "it" is used to describe one's own body part. Obviously, fat is empirically warm and soft (evoking femininity), it also seems like maybe it's not healthy to objectify the body rather than the conscious entity controlling it. (And I'm not excluding myself from this habit.)

Like this hot girl I used to know (who wasn't a BBW) used to gripe about how guys just found her to be a "piece of ass" (her term, believe it or not) and this came to the detriment of their ability to share a slice of life with just her, her brain, her spirt, whatever you want to call it. This girl was a local model but she had an Angelina Jolie-type aura of sultry sexuality in her appearance, causing guys to assume that she actually was some sort of nympho. She ultimately came to have a sort of disdain for the dudes that would slobber all over her. (But she was also a genius who had a perfect score on her SAT, so I'm sure she was smart enough to not go too far with the hatred.)

I guess this is all pretty simplistic. After all, every kid in the world is read 'Beauty and the Beast' at one bedtime or another where we get the same message (although in the reverse way). But considering the nature of this site, maybe it bears repeating. And for the few girls who do like being sexually objectified as fat (like the OP), or as having huge breasts, or a nice butt, I think that the vast majority really don't.

So maybe the "it" used is maybe a sign that, like, we sometimes cede our real sense of self to just this crude physical objectification. (And as I said, I'm not at all saying that I'm not a major culprit here.)

Just a late-night thought.

Last edited by VideoGamer; 11-18-2006 at 02:23 AM.
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Old 11-18-2006, 02:22 AM   #4
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Default Random fat at the DMV...

There was one time I was waiting to register my car at the DMV that a large woman sat next to me. It was the only vacant seat in the middle of an isle. She apologized for “taking up too much space”, I just smiled and said that I didn’t mind. She seemed to appreciate that I wasn’t offended. We chatted a bit, I waited for my number to be called and enjoyed being pressed up against her while it lasted.

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Old 11-18-2006, 04:49 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by activistfatgirl
So I went dancing tonight - All Prince & Michael Jackson all night long, and let me tell you, it was the BEST.

That's not the point.

The point is I noticed at least 8 distinct times when a part of my fat body made full contact with someone else. I don't mean all the aggressive men who tried to "grind" with me, I mean my friends gesturing and hitting my belly, or a random guy lifting his elbow and getting about 3 inches into my boobs.

This doesn't include the countless people I slammed with my ass.
Right away I think about an incident several years ago when we were on vacation in Argentina. Art & I went to a really nice tango hall in Buenos Aires. Several times people gestured and hit my belly, boobs or upper arms, and I lost count of how many people I slammed with my big fat ass on the dance floor. Most were accidental but some might have been intentional. Several times I also felt a stray hand squeeze my ass, which I know was deliberate.

Another immortal incident happened in the workplace several years ago. I'm 6ft 450lb, and as I rounded a corner, a small male colleague rounded that same corner, slammed straight into me, and the full-body impact knocked him over. I was so embarrassed! Luckily he wasn't hurt, and we just laughed about the whole incident. Maybe getting hit in the face with massive breasts softened the impact for him. I swear the grin on his face lasted for over a month.
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Old 11-18-2006, 04:56 AM   #6
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Many many concerts. Many many pits. I have experienced a WHOLE lotta body contact. It never bothers me in these cases.

However, when I'm a passenger in a smallish (or hell, even average size vehicle), when the driver goes to shift and whacks my belly or hips or whatever, I do get a bit weirded out.
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Old 11-18-2006, 06:57 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by activistfatgirl
So I went dancing tonight - All Prince & Michael Jackson all night long, and let me tell you, it was the BEST.

That's not the point.

The point is I noticed at least 8 distinct times when a part of my fat body made full contact with someone else. I don't mean all the aggressive men who tried to "grind" with me, I mean my friends gesturing and hitting my belly, or a random guy lifting his elbow and getting about 3 inches into my boobs.

This doesn't include the countless people I slammed with my ass.

It got me thinking. I wonder what those hapless souls think when they end up with a fist full of ponderous belly or breast - things that they do not have or are familiar with. It's very strange to not only take up so much space but to have your body reaching out and touching strangers!

Anyone have similar experiences?
come over, we'll hang out and go dancing.
kthx.


and back on topic, this happens to me all the time...my belly or my ass is always in someone's way!! it used to weird me out, but doesn't anymore. i think it's because i'm becoming a lot more comfortable with myself.
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Old 11-18-2006, 12:55 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VideoGamer
It's kind of funny how the impersonal "it" is used to describe one's own body part.
I think you're reading way too much into it, frankly. And certainly, while you may speak for yourself, you do not speak for me.
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Old 11-18-2006, 01:07 PM   #9
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There's a guy at school with whom I have become good friends with over the past couple of years. Last semester we had about three classes together and we sat next to each other in all of them. By the time the semester was over I started referring to him as 'the Pincher' because he was always finding ways to pinch my fat. Most of the time it was him pinching me on the side where there is certainly plenty to pinch - other times it would be something as obvious as him placing his hand on my thigh while talking to me or wrapping his hand around the top of my arm as we walked down the hall. There was never anything particularly flirty in what he was doing, but I always secretly wondered if he was amazed at what he was touching... which was why he kept doing it over and over again.

This semester we don't have any classes together, but he always waits for me before my Wednesday night class and whenever he heads off to his class he always gives me a good neck or shoulder squeeze.

There may be nothing to it at all, but there are times when I just want to say, "Hey, why do you keep trying to grab my fat?"
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Old 11-18-2006, 01:45 PM   #10
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Last night someone grabbed a bit of my fluff..heh.I was at the grocery store and one of the items I purchased was a package of lightbulbs.The cashier was a very cute young man..maybe 27 or so, give or take.I had seen him put the lightbulbs away from all the other groceries being bagged, so they would not be battered.He was very chatty, made lots of eye contact and as I said, was veddy good looking.Did this old woman a bit of good to be flirted with that way, as I really needed it.Well, I paid, he said that he hoped I was doing something fun this weekend(could I have missed an opportunity here?..I sometimes can't believe when men flirt with me..lol).I started to wheel my cart to the door when this man sprinted towards me, lightbulbs in hand.I laughed and said I would have been in the dark if I had not had those.He apologized(flashing a beautiful smile..hey, dont cue the cheesy porn music ).Then....it happened.A store worker was coming towards us with a cart overloaded with cases of pop.He was not a good driver and Matt(the cashier) could have simply told the other guy to slow down and I would have gotten out of the way..but..noooooo...Matt reached out and did not grab my shoulder or arm...............he went UNDER the light wool coat I was wearing(and was unbuttoned)and grabbed him some of Monique side fat( I did not curse my big belly at that momet)I felt a tiny squeeze and I stood still for a couple of seconds(HEY..it's been a LONG time!!..lol) He once again said have a great weekend..the smile thing..the beautiful brown eyes thing..he worked that, and finally got back to the line of people waiting. Me 44..him..maybe 27 or so..*checks to see if I need to return to the store for something*

Don't even get me started on the times I take the bus and have men sit next to me and how some do not move to the edge, but stay there pressed into my side.Maybe not all of them are annoyed?..hmmmmmmm....
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Old 11-18-2006, 02:37 PM   #11
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Oh my god, Monique. You're gonna bake me muffins, so you better get back to the store for some eggs. Don't rush, though. Maybe spruce up a little.
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Old 11-18-2006, 03:09 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mossystate
Last night someone grabbed a bit of my fluff..heh.I was at the grocery store and one of the items I purchased was a package of lightbulbs.The cashier was a very cute young man..maybe 27 or so, give or take.I had seen him put the lightbulbs away from all the other groceries being bagged, so they would not be battered.He was very chatty, made lots of eye contact and as I said, was veddy good looking.Did this old woman a bit of good to be flirted with that way, as I really needed it.Well, I paid, he said that he hoped I was doing something fun this weekend(could I have missed an opportunity here?..I sometimes can't believe when men flirt with me..lol).I started to wheel my cart to the door when this man sprinted towards me, lightbulbs in hand.I laughed and said I would have been in the dark if I had not had those.He apologized(flashing a beautiful smile..hey, dont cue the cheesy porn music ).Then....it happened.A store worker was coming towards us with a cart overloaded with cases of pop.He was not a good driver and Matt(the cashier) could have simply told the other guy to slow down and I would have gotten out of the way..but..noooooo...Matt reached out and did not grab my shoulder or arm...............he went UNDER the light wool coat I was wearing(and was unbuttoned)and grabbed him some of Monique side fat( I did not curse my big belly at that momet)I felt a tiny squeeze and I stood still for a couple of seconds(HEY..it's been a LONG time!!..lol) He once again said have a great weekend..the smile thing..the beautiful brown eyes thing..he worked that, and finally got back to the line of people waiting. Me 44..him..maybe 27 or so..*checks to see if I need to return to the store for something*

Don't even get me started on the times I take the bus and have men sit next to me and how some do not move to the edge, but stay there pressed into my side.Maybe not all of them are annoyed?..hmmmmmmm....

So, are you still seeing him? =o

I always have a tense indecision when a fat girl sits next to me on the bus. Like, if I dont' move over, they might feel I'm violating their personal space, but if I do they might think I'm repulsed/offended.
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Old 11-18-2006, 03:19 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by BBWTexan
There's a guy at school with whom I have become good friends with over the past couple of years. Last semester we had about three classes together and we sat next to each other in all of them. By the time the semester was over I started referring to him as 'the Pincher' because he was always finding ways to pinch my fat. Most of the time it was him pinching me on the side where there is certainly plenty to pinch - other times it would be something as obvious as him placing his hand on my thigh while talking to me or wrapping his hand around the top of my arm as we walked down the hall. There was never anything particularly flirty in what he was doing, but I always secretly wondered if he was amazed at what he was touching... which was why he kept doing it over and over again.

This semester we don't have any classes together, but he always waits for me before my Wednesday night class and whenever he heads off to his class he always gives me a good neck or shoulder squeeze.

There may be nothing to it at all, but there are times when I just want to say, "Hey, why do you keep trying to grab my fat?"
BBW Texan:

Do you seriously believe this guy wasn't flirting with you? Good lord, I can't imagine any other explanation for what he is doing, and since he apparently hasn't told you why he's doing it, I would have to think that's the reason. When I was younger and even more inept with flirting than I am now (and that's saying quite a bit) I would do something similar, like tickling, etc. to try to get the ball rolling. Short of this guy writing "I am flirting with you" on your arm, I can't imagine what else he could do to be more obvious. And he probably thinks you have no interest, since it sounds as if you aren't responding to him as if he is trying to flirt with you.

Of course I don't know the situation other than what you described, so perhaps I'm missing something, but if you have some interest in this guy, I would think about exploring it.

P.S. I live in SoCal now, but grew up in Houston. Long live Pappasito's, Shipley Donuts and the Velvet Elvis!
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Old 11-18-2006, 03:59 PM   #14
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so today at work, before i leave, i'm waiting in line to buy some stuff for my godkids for christmas. this guy comes up in line behind me, and was wayyyyy too close. so every time i'd scoot up, he was right behind me. i dropped a pack of tshirts i was holding, and then the fat grab happened...he grabbed my side, squeezed it and smiled, and said to let him get it (my arms were pretty full!). so he picks up the shirts, hands them to me, grabbed my other side, and steered me forward...apparently it was my turn to check out. my face was beet red. it was kinda cute the look on his face...he truly enjoyed every second of squeezing my fat, haha!
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Old 11-18-2006, 04:01 PM   #15
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0_0 Holy carp, are we allowed to do that?!
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Old 11-18-2006, 04:17 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by fatboy1004
P.S. I live in SoCal now, but grew up in Houston. Long live Pappasito's, Shipley Donuts and the Velvet Elvis!

Hahaha... well, we're good friends, but I don't have much interest in more. I actually just think it's kind of cute and fun now and one day I'm sure I will just say to him, "Is that fun for you?"

With regards to the rest, ALL of the Pappa's restaurants pretty much rock and as for Shipley's?? Well, there's no need for Krispy Kreme with them around.
Unfortunately the Velvet Elvis is long gone, at least in that form. Following years of lawsuits from the Presley family (give me a break, people!) it's now called the Velvet Melvin. Booooooooooo.
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Old 11-18-2006, 04:19 PM   #17
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Am I misunderstanding the posts? Are we talking about random strangers touching us or friends?

I wonder because I am starting to think that maybe Im a bit "Different" in the way that, while Im a very affectionate person, I dont like being randomly touched by people I dont know well. Part could be from being molested as a child but I think another part could just be how I am- shy on some level.
Years ago, I had a man touch me in my workplace. He was a customer who approached me in an aisle then ran his hand up my side before he left. To this day, I still feel perved on/victimized in some way by him.
I have also came to realize that part of the reason I maintain so much body fat is like a form of protection to me. I dont want to be touched in a sexual manner by those I dont know well. The extra body fat does help to keep some away. I notice the state of discomfort I find myself in when I lose a lot of weight and realize how much more men are scrutinizing me. I like the attention of men but part of me feels a distinct loss of control when that happens and Im not "prepared" for it.
Perhaps this is more than some wanted to read, but I felt like since the discussion was about being touched, all sides should be presented....

Also feel the need to add, I like it when my bf rubs my stomach or other parts of my body- it makes me feel loved/appreciated
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Old 11-18-2006, 04:27 PM   #18
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Am I misunderstanding the posts? Are we talking about random strangers touching us or friends?
I think I might have misunderstood - I think you're right, it was supposed to be about random strangers.

However, if I'm ever responding about a random stranger grabbing my fat I will most likely be doing it from jail because I'm not a big fan of strangers touching me and my gut reaction might just be to turn around knock the crap of them.
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Old 11-18-2006, 05:38 PM   #19
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i don't like random strangers touching me either normally, but this guy today was just so nonchalant about it, like the normal thing to do when picking something up for a person was to touch them first. i don't know why it didn't weird me out, but it just didn't. maybe it's because i was about to be on my way home and the eff outta work...
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Old 11-18-2006, 05:51 PM   #20
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And for the few girls who do like being sexually objectified as fat (like the OP), or as having huge breasts, or a nice butt, I think that the vast majority really don't.

So maybe the "it" used is maybe a sign that, like, we sometimes cede our real sense of self to just this crude physical objectification. (And as I said, I'm not at all saying that I'm not a major culprit here.)

Just a late-night thought.
Comme d'habitude, you've missed the point. AFG wasn't saying she enjoyed being objectified.

(Though, you would have loved that, would you have not? Given you the green light to slobber incessantly over and prod some woman's body without considering her personhood?).

She said she found it amusing when FRIENDS and ACQUAINTENCES found themselves touching her fat when they gesticulated or were in close quarters and had to motion around her.

And the "it" of which Tina spoke, and of which you have misunderstood, wasn't her HIP. She wasn't dismembering herself. The "it" was the EXPERIENCE of having her hip used an armrest.


As for being touched by strangers. that is not okay. I will not accept random sketchy men whistling/hollering at me, and I will sure as hell not accept equally sketchy guys touching me.
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Old 11-18-2006, 05:55 PM   #21
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Mossy, get your fluffy ass back to that store, pronto! After all, you forgot some important thing or other. And somehow you forgot to make plans for this weekend, but what is he doing? Go on, now!

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And the "it" of which Tina spoke, and of which you have misunderstood, wasn't her HIP. She wasn't dismembering herself. The "it" was the EXPERIENCE of having her hip used an armrest.
Thank you, my dear, you understand me perfectly.
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Old 11-18-2006, 05:59 PM   #22
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Thank you, my dear, you understand me perfectly.
It's just pure torture, being so s-m-r-t.
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Old 11-18-2006, 06:03 PM   #23
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Sadly, I don't have any fat fondling story to tell, but I just want to say that I think some of these stories are majorly cute. And I'd like to point out that most women have a finely tuned radar and can tell the difference between cheeky appreciation and pervy skeevedness.


And Monique....you're a dumbass.
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Old 11-18-2006, 06:35 PM   #24
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Just to clarify you guys, I meant instances where by the physics of being fat, your body comes into contact with someone else, friends OR random strangers.

I did not mean instances of someone reaching out to grab, though I think its great that people are sharing those stories.

I meant when someone gestures and hits belly, or flesh on accident and you have to deal with it. Like when my boss walked by to get coffee and palmed me. TOTALLY accidental. It came with the territory of being fat. How do you deal with that? How to avoid it? What do other people think when it happens?

Green Eyed, I also have very strong negative reactions to inappropriate touch. I believe it's because it's one of the strongest ways I show love. Touch me right, a hug, a caress and I feel like I'm flying. Touch me against my will and you'll shake me for days on end, no matter how innocent the touch seemed to be.

And Videogamer, you completely misunderstood my post. Don't accuse me of enjoying objectification. The other part of the night that I alluded to was very negative...because I got a lot of attention while dancing from men and felt very uncomfortable. That wasn't what this post was about. It's incredible how someone can be so creepy over a BB. I'd appreciate it if you don't reference me--even subtly or parenthetically--in future posts again. You've crossed the line too many times.
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Old 11-18-2006, 06:58 PM   #25
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And Monique....you're a dumbass.
Ummm..yeah...*hangs head*....
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