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Old 12-20-2006, 05:41 PM   #51
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I'll admit it. My first bbw deserved better.

She was a gorgeous, chubby filipino chick with a heart of gold. I mean... this gal would of did anything for a guy. She wanted nothing more than to just be treated right. Of course, all I did was fuck her around. I was in high school, was part of the "popular crowd", and I was too chickenshit about what people might think to date her. So instead I just fucked her behind all my friend's backs.

Hell, I wasn't even good at that back then... the 2nd time I ever had sex, it was with her. It probably took an entire year after that before I figured out what I was doing in bed. Over Christmas that year, she went to visit her sister back home. My friends started asking me about her while she was gone. When she got back, I wouldn't even give her the time of day. Like I said, she deserved better.

Sigh. I'd like to think I've became a better man since then.

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Old 12-20-2006, 05:46 PM   #52
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you must spread some reputation blahblahblah. How come I keep getting that message after reading your posts? *L* Another fine post!
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Old 12-20-2006, 06:14 PM   #53
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although i dont claim to have a resaon for it but i must say my affection for larger women is linked to a baby sitter i had as a child who was in her early 20's I adored and she had to be at least 500 pounds.
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Old 12-20-2006, 07:08 PM   #54
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Hello KnottyOne,
I think you were unlucky enough to meet someone with borderline personality disorder as your first BBW. (Check out www.bpd411.org) And so was I...

I grew up as a closet FA. Very shy in general, and even more so about being an FA. Living in Belgium didn't help either because there weren't many BBWs around. Actually there is only one that I remember from the time I was a student and in a way I am still mad at myself for not giving it a try with her. I wish I had internet at that time because these on-line communities have really helped me coming out. But I didn't so I remained closeted and an absolute virgin until some years after I graduated.

I met my first BBW five years ago (she was actually the first girl I ever kissed). It was love at first sight and within 3 weeks after meeting we were a couple. Everything went very well in the beginning. The only downside is that she wasn't confident about her body. I told her and I showed her I liked big girls, but it didn't help. And that's a pity, because after all those years, when I finally came out as an FA, I found a BBW who doesn't really let me enjoy my FA side because she is too embarrassed with her body.

But even though I couldn't be real FA with her, I did enjoy my relationship with her in general. What I did not enjoy so much is her moodswings and the fact that she could become very angry over nothing (such as not picking up the phone) and at times when I did something wrong (at least in her mind) she was really degrading and insulting. But being too good, I sought excuses for her. It must have been the stress at work or so.

After she nearly blowed it with one of her moodswings, I did propose to her and we got married after a turbulent year of engagement. But even without the wedding stress, the moodswings didn't go away and more and more she was having these irrational tempers over nothing, not just with me, but also with my family and even her own family. A couple of months ago, she really pushed it far over the limit.

That's when I realized this was not normal behavior and started searching the internet, until I found "Borderline Personality Disorder". Although the diagnosis has not been officially made, I recognize my private life so very much in what others describe in their ordeals of living with a BPD person. That really describes her very well.

We are now at the edge of breaking up. Too many things have happened and have been said and it keeps getting worse. I know she is sick in the head, so in a way that comforts me, but the harsh reality is that she doesn't realise that she has a problem, which also means I can not get her the professional help she needs, and it is likely that this is not going to change any time soon.

So this is my story of how my first BBW romance started and how it is probably coming to an end now...


Borderline Personality Disorder is a very serious disorder that makes life for the relatives of the patient very hard. BPD persons only think in black or white: you are either good or completely bad, and that can change from one moment to another. People living with a BPD patient have to walk on eggshells constantly. Anything you say or do can trigger them off and make you move from white to black.
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Old 12-20-2006, 10:27 PM   #55
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Wow. First of all, I want to write a little note saying thanks to all you guys who said nice things about my little post about my first BBW experience. You guys, I really love this place--and you're why.

Also, I should note that I wrote up that post as-I-choose-to-remember. I'm certain there were plenty of awkward moments that I've forgotten, and surely that particular girlfriend wound up being less than ideal. However, I sure remember that time in my life as incredibly liberating and eye-opening.

(Plus, I had fun writing that. Yay for literary devices!)

Basically, thanks. You guys rule.
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Old 12-20-2006, 10:31 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by Canadian View Post
I'll admit it. My first bbw deserved better.

She was a gorgeous, chubby filipino chick with a heart of gold. I mean... this gal would of did anything for a guy. She wanted nothing more than to just be treated right. Of course, all I did was fuck her around. I was in high school, was part of the "popular crowd", and I was too chickenshit about what people might think to date her. So instead I just fucked her behind all my friend's backs.

Hell, I wasn't even good at that back then... the 2nd time I ever had sex, it was with her. It probably took an entire year after that before I figured out what I was doing in bed. Over Christmas that year, she went to visit her sister back home. My friends started asking me about her while she was gone. When she got back, I wouldn't even give her the time of day. Like I said, she deserved better.

Sigh. I'd like to think I've became a better man since then.

I give you credit for knowing it was shitty and hopefully never letting that happen again. You're not the first.... and unfortunately you won't be the last.

Also, it's NEVER too late to apologize, even if she has no interest in accepting it. It's a good thing to let someone know that YOU were the one in the wrong, and not her. You never know how she interpreted the time with you.
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Old 12-20-2006, 10:41 PM   #57
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Let's see...

My First BBW:

Met her online. Talked for a while. Met her in person in a harmless setting. Hit it off; she was shy and had some issues, and I was, to paraphrase, the first guy who'd ever treated her right. (Read: Didn't try to get in her pants on the first date.)

It went well enough for a month or two, but my general cluelessness and her general immaturity doomed "us." I think the death knell was when she got pissed at me because I wouldn't sleep with her.

Now that I think of it, I'm 1 for 4 so far as teh sexxay wimmins go. The other stories are even less interesting, though.

(Well, except for one of them, sorta.)
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Old 12-20-2006, 11:36 PM   #58
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Originally Posted by bellylover View Post
Hello KnottyOne,
I think you were unlucky enough to meet someone with borderline personality disorder as your first BBW. (Check out www.bpd411.org) And so was I...

I grew up as a closet FA. Very shy in general, and even more so about being an FA. Living in Belgium didn't help either because there weren't many BBWs around. Actually there is only one that I remember from the time I was a student and in a way I am still mad at myself for not giving it a try with her. I wish I had internet at that time because these on-line communities have really helped me coming out. But I didn't so I remained closeted and an absolute virgin until some years after I graduated.

I met my first BBW five years ago (she was actually the first girl I ever kissed). It was love at first sight and within 3 weeks after meeting we were a couple. Everything went very well in the beginning. The only downside is that she wasn't confident about her body. I told her and I showed her I liked big girls, but it didn't help. And that's a pity, because after all those years, when I finally came out as an FA, I found a BBW who doesn't really let me enjoy my FA side because she is too embarrassed with her body.

But even though I couldn't be real FA with her, I did enjoy my relationship with her in general. What I did not enjoy so much is her moodswings and the fact that she could become very angry over nothing (such as not picking up the phone) and at times when I did something wrong (at least in her mind) she was really degrading and insulting. But being too good, I sought excuses for her. It must have been the stress at work or so.

After she nearly blowed it with one of her moodswings, I did propose to her and we got married after a turbulent year of engagement. But even without the wedding stress, the moodswings didn't go away and more and more she was having these irrational tempers over nothing, not just with me, but also with my family and even her own family. A couple of months ago, she really pushed it far over the limit.

That's when I realized this was not normal behavior and started searching the internet, until I found "Borderline Personality Disorder". Although the diagnosis has not been officially made, I recognize my private life so very much in what others describe in their ordeals of living with a BPD person. That really describes her very well.

We are now at the edge of breaking up. Too many things have happened and have been said and it keeps getting worse. I know she is sick in the head, so in a way that comforts me, but the harsh reality is that she doesn't realise that she has a problem, which also means I can not get her the professional help she needs, and it is likely that this is not going to change any time soon.

So this is my story of how my first BBW romance started and how it is probably coming to an end now...


Borderline Personality Disorder is a very serious disorder that makes life for the relatives of the patient very hard. BPD persons only think in black or white: you are either good or completely bad, and that can change from one moment to another. People living with a BPD patient have to walk on eggshells constantly. Anything you say or do can trigger them off and make you move from white to black.
Greetings the Brother!

At me similar history, only later 4 years after marriage at us grow the daughter, to it three years so it is yet known - to whom from наз now easier. Glory to the God - my daughter problems spouses have not concerned the Lord.
However attitudes as you have precisely noticed, on the verge of разбивания. And the most exact line of conduct in case of dialogue with such people - never with them to argue. Otherwise they start to be angry instantly.
Actually did not wish to speak about it, but here has read through your history and has decided you to support a little bit the .
Keep - that I still can tell in this occasion!

P.s. And in our street all таки will come a holiday. I in it trust, without it in any way!

With deep respect, Maxim
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Old 12-21-2006, 07:01 AM   #59
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I give you credit for knowing it was shitty and hopefully never letting that happen again. You're not the first.... and unfortunately you won't be the last.

Also, it's NEVER too late to apologize, even if she has no interest in accepting it. It's a good thing to let someone know that YOU were the one in the wrong, and not her. You never know how she interpreted the time with you.
Oh I already have. I saw her years later, during University, and apologized. She was already long over it, and accepted. Since then, she has went on to do some very, very cool things with her life. Bigger and better things. I certainly don't have to worry about her anymore.
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Old 12-21-2006, 07:53 AM   #60
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Oh I already have. I saw her years later, during University, and apologized. She was already long over it, and accepted. Since then, she has went on to do some very, very cool things with her life. Bigger and better things. I certainly don't have to worry about her anymore.
Canadian....this was great to read. I love your honesty. And I love that you chose to make amends even though years had passed. Good man.
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Old 12-21-2006, 11:31 PM   #61
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My first BBW is a recent event for me (I assume our first BBW means the first BBW we dated since I am still a virgin). Sure I did the online dating thing, but all the girls I clicked with on that were so far away nothing could realistically come of them. I met her at an Honors Frat I joined to fluff my resume. I saw her at the first meeting and thought she was the cutest girl in the group and wished I knew something to say to her.

Later on at the third meeting none of the officers were there so a couple of kids waited around to see if they would show up late. Eventually everyone left but her and I, she was doing some accounting homework while sitting in a chair while I was milling around the water fountains trying to look cool and indifferent. She said hi to me and I came and sat by her and talked small talk with her. Eventually we sat together at the meeting and walked together after the meeting

Our first “date” was me offering to see a movie with her in my dorm. As we saw more movies together over the next couple of weeks we started to cuddle. When we cuddled I wasn’t shy about placing my hands on her sides or arms, our first cuddle I was actually amused to find out she has elbow dimples and I thought of all everybody here. Eventually I asked her out in an informal way while waiting for another frat meeting that didn’t happen. We had our first kiss that night on my bed while we were watching X-Men 2. She eventually brought up the subject of her weight that night (she is about 5’5 and 210 for everyone keeping score at home). I had hoped to avoid this subject for a while because I didn’t want her to think I am a freak. But when she said I was way better looking then her because I was a fairly strong looking guy while she was a fat girl I decided to take a risk and tell her I liked fat girls. She is okay with it, because she likes being wanted but at the same time she doesn’t like it.
awww thats so sweet.
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Old 12-26-2006, 02:13 PM   #62
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ok boys..there are plenty of you who haven't posted in this thread..so I'm bumping it..and get to posting
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Old 12-26-2006, 02:31 PM   #63
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That's right Misty! I adore these stories and ya'll have left me wanting more and more. Don't be shy guys.
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Old 12-27-2006, 06:22 PM   #64
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As one of the late-blooming FAs I will have to say my first experience dating a BBW is hard to pin down, partly because it depends on your definition of what a BBW is. As a fairly good-looking and popular kid I dated a lot of thinner women in my teens and early 20s. I guess the first girl I dated who I considered a BBW was around a size 14. I met her at a party I went to with a coworker, when I was 26 years old. We dated for a couple months and eventually got bored of each other, breaking up by mutual consent. Nothing too romantic, but it started me on my way to bigger and better things (both figuratively and literally).
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Old 12-28-2006, 02:38 AM   #65
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I can't decide wether or not I like Jay's well written and provocative confession, only because it basically crushes any hope I had of turning heads with mine. Nevertheless, here goes:

I still haven't had my first BBW. I mean in the true sense of "having" (that's a bit hard to define) a girl.

My path to FA-hood is one rather akin to our elegant wordsmith JWC. I suppose I became a FA when I became attracted to girls, and began to pursue them for reasons other than fitting in. I did have a somewhat chubby "girlfriend" as a very young boy in elementary school, which was no doubt a good bit of foreshadowing and more than likely played a part in the development of my sexual desires towards them. I had several "girlfriends" in the late elementary/early high school phase of boyhood, although I didn't kiss a girl until my sophomore year.

I think that I truly discovered and cultivated my FAism just about the year I entered highschool. The summer after eighth grade, to be exact. I had been trying to figure out what exactly I was attracted to lately, and by a series of enlightening events involving general mass media (I laughed while reading Jay's confession when I realized I wasn't the only one who clipped out the "before" pictures in the diet ads from my mothers "Cosmo" and such) and soon turned my eyes to the glorious shining beacon of sexual enlightenment known as the internet. I discovered a myriad of images and websites (dimensions!) my freshman year, and I had confirmed (at least internally) that I was an FA.

So throughout high school I dated a few chubby girls. Sophomore year I dated a very attractive one who would give me my first real kiss, but that relationship was very "high school" and never lead anywhere. I dated a few skinny(er) girls in that time period as well, but it was obvious to my best friends and family (my mother, a health freak, was not exactly shall we say...enthused) that I had a "type". My best friend good naturedly would label girls "Hickman Women" (in honor of my last name) and I had a smashing good time with it all.

Still, I never got to experience a true intimate relationship with a big girl. Most were very uncomfortable about their size, and I could tell they didn't believe me when I said they were beautiful. I thought I would never find my true love. *laughs*

Then, at the end of my senior year, I fell in love. She was an old friend of mine who I had always stayed close to and had a little crush on. I ignored the fact that she was 1) not only fairly slim but 2) obsessed with her weight. Still, I loved her very very deeply. Her personality was perfect, her taste, humor, everything was just right. Everything save one thing. Throwing inhibitions to the wind I gave myself to her entirely. I made her my queen, and lived for her as I knew how.

The time came to have sex. I lost my virginity (very, VERY clumsily), and we had a couple of good times, but something was wrong. Of course, I knew what it was. I had a feeling she did too, but we lied to eachother and ourselves about it. I wasn't sexually attracted to her. I blamed it on everything I could possibly think of, from Erectile Disfunction (at age 18!) to circumstances, to my stress level (I was failing out of university at the time)...but there was no way around it. That issue coupled with the fact that her parents despised my mere presence would eventually break us apart.

Two years, a faux-engagement, and a lot of memories later, here I stand. Fresh off the breakup, broken down physically, emotionally, etc. On depression meds because my life is a mess, and with no one to hold me as I fall asleep.

But I've turned this into a pity party. The point is I still crave my first BBW.

The end.

*runs away*

[edit] Jesus christ that was a lot wordier than it felt like when I was writing it.
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Old 12-28-2006, 04:33 AM   #66
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my first bbw was when I was at high school, her name was lesley, we were 15, and she was 280 pounds. I lost my virginity at 16 to a girl called Rebecca, who was a couple of years older, and was about 350 pounds, but it didn't last, but I have never had sex with anyone less than 300, not that that is all that is important though. Have i missed out on much?
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Old 12-28-2006, 06:52 AM   #67
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mfdoom, your story really touched my heart. I loved every word of it.
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Old 12-28-2006, 02:28 PM   #68
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Two years, a faux-engagement, and a lot of memories later, here I stand. Fresh off the breakup, broken down physically, emotionally, etc. On depression meds because my life is a mess, and with no one to hold me as I fall asleep. .

Mf, you may consider your life temporarily a mess, but the way I see it, you're a lot more aware of yourself and who you are now at 19 than many men are at that age. I'm betting you'll find that bbw you're craving, and when she shows up on the scene she'll get a guy who's very sure now about what he wants and needs. That's worth quite a lot.

And it may have felt wordy but it read very easily.
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Old 12-28-2006, 02:49 PM   #69
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Thanks for all the love guys. It felt really good to just gush for a while.
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Old 12-28-2006, 02:53 PM   #70
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Mf, you may consider your life temporarily a mess, but the way I see it, you're a lot more aware of yourself and who you are now at 19 than many men are at that age. I'm betting you'll find that bbw you're craving, and when she shows up on the scene she'll get a guy who's very sure now about what he wants and needs. That's worth quite a lot.

And it may have felt wordy but it read very easily.

"That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger"
Ain't that the truth....
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It's been so long and I've been putting out fire with gasoline"
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Old 12-28-2006, 07:24 PM   #71
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Originally Posted by olly5764 View Post
my first bbw was when I was at high school, her name was lesley, we were 15, and she was 280 pounds. I lost my virginity at 16 to a girl called Rebecca, who was a couple of years older, and was about 350 pounds, but it didn't last, but I have never had sex with anyone less than 300, not that that is all that is important though. Have i missed out on much?
You haven't missed a thing. You have been very fortunate.
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Old 03-22-2007, 05:03 AM   #72
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"I had found Dimensions at 14, and was all too aware of what I really wanted. A growing set of crude fat-girl printouts and weight-loss ads clipped from the local paper sat secretly slipped between my mattress and boxspring throughout adolescence. "

This is the mark of a true FA. I can see the world through your eyes and that world is beautiful with the natural allure of real women. I found the the same truth in myself and have never looked back.

BE true to who you are, and you will find the trustest BBW for you.
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Old 03-22-2007, 06:19 AM   #73
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32 now, but had discovered bbw/ssbbw as being heaven in my mind at 19. though my first time didn't happen until age 26, and that's including overall, a totally virgin. the reason i waited so long, is an even longer story. but i was so excited about larger women, and how being intimate would be, that i was almost afraid that it wouldn't be what i thought it would be in mind. i was so sure, that i was fearful of being disappointed.
and waiting until 26, kinda shot my confidence to, and not being kissed. but i had met a nice lady online, 5'6" 330 lbs. she wanted me to see the joys of sex in general, and to experience her delightful body. being with a ssbbw was everything i had thought about in my mind, it really was heaven.
so i feel proud that my first time ever in life was with an ssbbw. i don't know how thin girls feel at all, nor do i care to. thank to gods and goddesses for ssbbw's.
so these days, i feel humbly confident.
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Old 03-23-2007, 04:47 PM   #74
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Originally Posted by Jay West Coast View Post
I carefully sat in a 1909 neo-gothic Catholic church in Illinois, carving the plaster of a trefoil on the church’s main alter screen. I was eighteen years old, and working diligently as an apprentice restoring one of the most beautiful buildings I’ve ever seen. The rest of the workers were in the shop, and the sound of my lone dremel echoed through the church’s majestic chambers.

My mind wandered. Perhaps, the master craftsman, who was also my humorously unforgiving uncle, would have scorned me for doing so in such a moment, but I couldn’t resist. Suddenly, it seemed to me that I craved a symphony of silence in that church. I turned off the dremel, and put it down. I hadn’t talked to God in some time, but I think He still had something to say. I sat, and meditated.

Months before, I had graduated from high school as part of the popular crowd. I lettered in two sports, and enjoyed the attention from being a smartass in school. The popular girls all dated my friends and I, being as dating seems to be more of a social maneuver at that age then wrought of true attraction. Or, perhaps that is easy for me to say; since I never once felt attracted down deep to the girls I was dating. I had found Dimensions at 14, and was all too aware of what I really wanted. A growing set of crude fat-girl printouts and weight-loss ads clipped from the local paper sat secretly slipped between my mattress and boxspring throughout adolescence. I had been an FA dating skinny chicks.

As I sat before the house of God, I reflected on the absurdity of it all. There was a true happiness to be had. A blessing that I had been foolishly ignoring; something not without struggles, but ever-rewarding to pursue. The coming years of college were my chance to explore who I really was, to explore the sensuality of the women that God Himself had designed me to be with. I picked up the dremel tool, turned it on, and I began to hum. “So far so good, Jay,” my uncle announced as he slipped into the sanctuary. His hand found my shoulder. “You know, perfection is all I ask.”

Months later, I had found the first love of my life, and dove headfirst into my first meaningful relationship. She was exotic, and beautiful. Her father was the hereditary monarch of an island in the Pacific, and she carried his hazel eyes and coffee-with-cream skin. She studied at my university, had lived in a year in Japan, and waxed long nights about dreams of education reform on her island. She was smart, funny, and cute. It was getting late, and I asked if she was ready for me to walk her back to her dorm. “No, Jay,” she replied. “I’m perfectly comfortable right here.”

The winter night crept into the tiny room through my dorm window, so I got up to pull it shut. I turned around to find that she had already slid herself between the sheets to keep warm, so I slipped in next to her. Her big eyes captured the fortunate rays of moonlight that had evaded the Venetian blinds. Her wispy black hair trickled from behind her ears, past her breasts, and onto the sheets. She was so beautiful that I couldn’t think anymore, I just felt.

My hand reached behind her ear to move her delicate hair down her neck, where I grasped softly the back of her head. My body slid against hers, almost without me realizing it. As my hard stomach pressed against her soft belly, my edges of my mouth wandered perilously close to her big, wide lips. I could feel the heaviness of her breath in my ear, and I felt so distracted I could barely remember to exhale. I lifted her head toward mine, and as my lips carefully touched hers, I could feel the endorphins maniacally rush through our intertwined bodies. My other hand crept along her voluptuous breasts, along her wonderfully soft sides and traced her wide hips. My fingertips shivered in restrained ecstasy as they touched the sensual fat that adorned her body. “This is what a woman should feel like,” I whispered in my head. Her soft flesh seemed to cry out to my innermost passions, to the primal desires within each man that lets him know he is alive. And in that moment, I was truly alive.

My lips dove into hers, my eager hands carefully memorizing each curve of her body. Our eyes still chased each other as we moved like liquid inside the tiny bed. It seemed as though I could feel the very color of her skin as it wrapped around mine. Her thick thighs, her wide hips, her big soft belly had purchased every bit of my passions that weren’t already captured by her natural intellect, warmth, and playfulness. We had breathed so heavily for so long that we had exhausted every crevice of oxygen in the room. In my ruffled boxers, I rose from the bed to open the now-fogged window and let the crisp Oregon winter pour back into the steamy room.

We spooned under the sheets, my arm perfectly wrapping around the soft rolls of her waist. I tucked the free strands of her ebony hair back behind her ear, and then traced its lobe with the very skin of the back of my fingers. As I held my breath, I could hear hers slow its rhythm. She was finally asleep. I kissed the side of her neck, and laid my head beside hers on the down pillow.

“Oh, God,” I whispered into the cold night air, “this is what you made me for. Thank you. Thank you for making me the kind of man that could understand the immaculate beauty of a fat woman. I don’t want anything else for the rest of my life.”
I'm an FA, too, THAT'S WHAT GOD MADE ME FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AMEN, brother, and I declare it with MY VERY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Fat is only ugly to those who hate.

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Old 03-23-2007, 05:39 PM   #75
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i lost mine to a beautiful BBW who is somewhere in the 250-300 range (she weighed herself for me once. she is 120kg, im not really sure how that works out in pounds) She really is perhaps the hottest girl that I've met and I consider myself extremely lucky. I still see her. Perhaps ill post a picture some time.
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