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Old 12-23-2006, 06:00 PM   #1
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Default So tell me ladies, what do you look for in a BHM?

Is it a large belly, big thighs, big chest, big heart? What is it that makes a BHM sexy to you?
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Old 12-23-2006, 09:55 PM   #2
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Big heart, big brain, big belly, in that order. Big wallet is never bad, either. I mean, that is my opinion on the subject. Not that I'm looking. Just commenting.
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Old 12-24-2006, 05:53 AM   #3
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Big heart, big hands, big belly, big arms. Come to think of it... big everything!
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Old 12-24-2006, 08:15 AM   #4
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Just for the record, I also have big feet... Size 14
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Old 12-28-2006, 08:04 PM   #5
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Big bellies and big smiles.
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Old 12-28-2006, 09:23 PM   #6
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Default hmm....

I just like a big belly. everything else normal. i agree, big wallet dosen't hurt.
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Old 12-29-2006, 09:47 AM   #7
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It's got to be the belly! x
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Old 12-29-2006, 09:57 AM   #8
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Default What I want in a BHM

I would have to say...he has to have his heart in the right place...other then that...it doesn't really matter to me..sure a big belly or big all over guy would be great...but I'm very accepting...as well as the the BHM would have to be accepting of me

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Old 12-30-2006, 11:34 AM   #9
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Whatever body type a man has, the same virtues are important. Compassion/caring for others, intelligence, wit, humor, tact, hard-working, respectful, thoughtful - just to name a few of my favorite things.
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Old 12-30-2006, 04:47 PM   #10
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Self-confidence most of all. He's got to know who he is and what he wants. The belly, thighs, moobs and arms are just icing on the cake
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Old 12-30-2006, 07:13 PM   #11
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And please, not one obsessed with dieting.
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Old 12-30-2006, 07:14 PM   #12
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I agree with missaf...confidence...big confidence...

All the rest, the big belly, big thighs, big butt...well that just makes it even better
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Old 12-31-2006, 09:11 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lemmink View Post
And please, not one obsessed with dieting.
AMEN.

Also, while I won't say "no emotional baggage" (cause who doesn't have SOME)...it would be a nice change if he were at least aware of his. Bonus points if he's already coping--but I'd settle for awareness.
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Old 01-01-2007, 08:39 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laina View Post
Also, while I won't say "no emotional baggage" (cause who doesn't have SOME)...it would be a nice change if he were at least aware of his. Bonus points if he's already coping--but I'd settle for awareness.
So true! While everyone comes with baggage, it would be nice if he was dealing.
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Old 01-01-2007, 05:29 PM   #15
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warm soft body, big belly, and kindness.
no self confidence issues, but in todays fatphobic society that is raaaare.
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Old 01-07-2007, 10:29 AM   #16
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Self-confidence, respect, a handsome face, kindness, love, potential, softness and jiggle!
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Old 01-07-2007, 02:45 PM   #17
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Belly belly belly! Big and soft
And a big heart, confidence, and brain are good too
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Old 01-03-2009, 12:30 PM   #18
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Just like my Dan.. Loving, Thoughtful, Big soft belly, Nice Moobs and Gorgeous eyes

I must admit a big belly makes me weak at the knees though more than anything

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Old 01-03-2009, 01:16 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Laina View Post
AMEN.

Also, while I won't say "no emotional baggage" (cause who doesn't have SOME)...it would be a nice change if he were at least aware of his. Bonus points if he's already coping--but I'd settle for awareness.
I'm so self aware I make Buddha want to chew on his sandals out of jealousy.

Also, I'm fantastically modest.
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Old 01-03-2009, 02:04 PM   #20
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its just primal...

would elaborate..but I.Q. is dropping...
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Old 01-03-2009, 02:11 PM   #21
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*brains...i smart guys.
*good conversation skills...can hold up their end of a conversation on a variety of topics but not make every conversation into a debate or lecture
*good social skills...should have long term friends and interests of their own
*good personality...is confident in who they are as a person, their views and morals
*someone who is comfortable in their own skin-embrace your big, handsomeness! sexy comes from the inside!
*i like them sturdy! bellies are good


most bhm have 1 or more of the qualities i seek...but i've yet to find one with all of them...and that, my friends, is why the search continues for the elusive bhm of my dreams...
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Old 01-03-2009, 03:06 PM   #22
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Talking I need to start coming around to the BHM board more often!

I think that men of different shapes, sizes, cultures, etc. are handsome. I think that a BHM with beautiful eyes, good personality, nice smile, great sense of humor is what I find the most attractive.
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Old 01-03-2009, 03:57 PM   #23
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Intelligence is the first thing that attracts me. Modesty is nice too, I can't stand cocky guys.

And when it comes to physical attraction... the bigger they are the quicker I turn my head in their direction. I love 'em round, where I can't even get my arms around their belly. But just a belly is no fun, they have to be fat all over.
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Old 01-04-2009, 12:53 AM   #24
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Hi

I brought this up on another forum. Why are straight BHMs the only people in Fat Acceptance that must have self-confidence or are not allowed to have any lack of self-confidence?

BBWs, Fat Gay Men, Lesbians and tran-gender people are all allow to have some self-doubt or a lack of confidence. Heck even MaleFAs are allow to have doubts/ lack of confidence about dating BBWs.

It always seems that BHMs are handled differently by many in Fat Acceptance, like they feel only part of Fat Acceptance applies to BHMs.

It is good that there are quite a few people in this thread that treated BHMs as real people that are allowed the same feelings, weaknesses and strengths as everyone.

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Old 01-04-2009, 01:32 AM   #25
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Hi William,

I don't tend to hang out the BHM/FFA board as much, but I haven't came across any examples of straight BHMs getting criticized for being insecure. I have, however, seen FAs and FFAs expressing how it can be incredibly upsetting and frustrating to deal with a self-loathing partner and threads in which "FA angst" is showcased as trivial compared to what a BBW or BHM goes through.

Confidence is one of those traits almost everyone, not just FAs and FFAs desires in a partner. However, it is impossible to expect anyone to be completely satisfied with themselves and I find that most people are accepting of someone who isn't overly negative.

Men are generally less bothered with their weight and looks compared to women and they don't tend to articulate their concerns. Over time it just perpertuates the stereotype that males don't care, making it even more difficult for someone to speak up.

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