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Old 01-03-2007, 06:44 PM   #1
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Default Dear FAs in Hiding:

I'm curious if other fat women or BHMs would share if they've had experiences with FAs still in the closet or ashamed of their attraction. I think something just snapped tonight and I'm feeling that raw frustration. Been there?

Here's a little letter:

Dear Fat Admirers (FAs),

Why are you hiding? I know you hold me now, but Iíve never met your friends. Youíve met all of mine--they like you. Youíre sweet, affectionate, ďintoĒ me. Then, why do you always stay at my house? Itís always my bed, my sheets that you make love to me on. What are you afraid of?

Dear FA that pretends I donít exist when you run into a high school friend at a concert. I have to jab you in the back to give you your ticket. Your friend has to usher your attention towards me. I smile and act playful, as always in denial and constantly forgiving. Iíve still never talked to you about this. I still hold back tears of embarrassment when I think about how quickly youíd pretend you were with someone else.

Dear FA that drives an hour to see me but has never invited me to your apartment, do you know how much I hate that I let this go on for a year? I did sleep on your bed once. It was winter break, the house was empty, and it was ok for me to be naked, quaking, walking, being. I didnít get mad until months later.

Dear FA that has a ton of fat girls on his profile--be it Myspace or Friendster or whatever. Thatís great! Youíre out! People know that you like fat girls! Why arenít any of your real life friends on your profile too? Oh, right, because this is the part of the internet that you are open about being with fat girls--among fat girls. Do you have another one without the fatties?

What would you do if they found all the messages and lovesick comments you send to your lovely zaftig internet pals? And the real question is: would you laugh at the jokes they made about it and play it cool?

Dear FA that wants to fuck fat girls but not date them. Iím constantly sorrowful I didnít know how to pick you out sooner, and consistently frustrated when you slip by now. You donít deserve this.

Dear FA that talks to me anonymously online and says Iím cocky for not wanting to talk to you. Iím not cocky. Iím fragile and insecure like many. I simply believe in myself a bit more than that. And Iíll never trust a man who doesnít reveal his true identity, because, again, what are you afraid of?

Dear FA that doesnít think Iím good enough. Why are you still seeing me? Why do I let you?

Dear FA that keeps it on the down low. I promise to get naked and streak your next family gathering, should you not understand that I deserveóno demand, to be at your side next time, not in your wet dreams.
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Old 01-03-2007, 07:02 PM   #2
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you are beautiful, and this is brilliant.
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Old 01-03-2007, 07:06 PM   #3
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Um, I'm open, even talkative, about being an FA, and this post still makes me feel guilty and slightly afraid for my intact blood vessels. o.o

I can tell there's a lot of hot molten lead of emotion forged into knife-sharp words by determination and intelligence.
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all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
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Old 01-03-2007, 07:37 PM   #4
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Thank you for this.
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Old 01-03-2007, 07:37 PM   #5
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Oh how I feel your pain!

The last two guys who said they liked me were all about the lovein' and hung out at my place with all my friends, but the moment we were at a party together....it was like I didn't exist. I never got introduced to their friends or anything!

If I pressed the issue of dating they just drifted away. But they loved to do things with lights on, to touch my big belly, to wrap their arms around me etc. I know they were closeted still.

Someday I'll find a REAL FA man. I'm very hopeful.
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Old 01-03-2007, 07:39 PM   #6
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Beautifully written. And dead on.

Can't rep you till I spread some around.
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Old 01-03-2007, 07:41 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
Um, I'm open, even talkative, about being an FA, and this post still makes me feel guilty and slightly afraid for my intact blood vessels. o.o

I can tell there's a lot of hot molten lead of emotion forged into knife-sharp words by determination and intelligence.

Hiya FN, I like the molten lead analogy nice. I'm burning! Sizzle!

No need for guilt though, I do want to say. This applies only to those whom think it applies to, ya know?
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Old 01-03-2007, 07:44 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by SoVerySoft View Post
Beautifully written. And dead on.

Can't rep you till I spread some around.
got her for you and me!
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Old 01-03-2007, 07:47 PM   #9
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Boys are stupid. </immaturity>

Yet when you find one that's the opposite of all those bad things, it's oh so worth it.
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Old 01-03-2007, 07:48 PM   #10
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got her for you and me!

ditto to that.
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Old 01-03-2007, 07:51 PM   #11
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Some of us guys love Big girls very much
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Old 01-03-2007, 08:20 PM   #12
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I'd give you every bit of rep possible if it would let me.... I should immediately start spreading.
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Old 01-03-2007, 08:34 PM   #13
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note to self: don't have above mentioned qualities
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Old 01-03-2007, 08:40 PM   #14
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Default FA and Proud

My wife is a big girl--and gorgeous too!

I am always letting gals know they need a few pounds and disussing my affinity for voluptuousness and curves. I always say, "What fun is a road without curves? Curves are what make life worth living!"

My head turns for BIG BEAUTIFUL women.

I am a PROUD FA, and I am most adoring and attentive when my wife is NOT one one of her slef-angering and fruitless diets.

I suppose if she did not diet and accumulated all the weight she has lost and gained, she'd be around 800 pounds or so....

ANYWAY, you are beautiful. ALL HAIL DELICIOUS, SOFT AND GORGEOUS FATTIES! I LIVE FOR YOUR GRACE AND ALLURE!!!

Your curves keep a man like me HAPPY!!

LOVE< STEVE
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Old 01-03-2007, 08:59 PM   #15
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Great post AFG,

I also have a big problem with stealth FAs, whether they be the ones who want sex with a fat girl but don't want to be seen in public, or live a lie with a thin girlfriend and hide from her what he's really attracted to. They make the rest of us men look bad.

I will tell you that I do not hide my FA-ness.. my friends all know, my work all knows- I've had huge battles at work with other men who tried to talk me out of my "preference"

I am a militant no apologies live life to the fullest FA
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Old 01-03-2007, 09:02 PM   #16
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Default Try this:

Lets stop labeling men as "FA" and that might help. I admire WOMEN and if they happen to be wrapped in fabulous curves, so be it. I don't admire the fat in them; I admire THEM.
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Old 01-03-2007, 09:02 PM   #17
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I can identify with this post on so many levels. I have felt this way too many times. I always blame myself for being dumb and falling victim to the "closeted FA". I do not understand why men fight their internal longing. If a fat woman makes you happy why not be with her? Why end up with a thin woman just so you can torture yourself (and her) for the rest of your life? It is not fair for us, for the FA or the thin woman he is using. I hope one day our society will open up it's eyes and accept everyone for who they are and who they want to love.

Last edited by AnnMarie; 01-04-2007 at 03:46 PM.
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Old 01-03-2007, 09:04 PM   #18
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I'm not hiding. I'm just anti-social.
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Old 01-03-2007, 09:16 PM   #19
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Anyone want to know why I come down on closet FA's so hard? This is why. I've known women who were treated like this. It is deplorable and it is inexcusable. Frankly, its emotional abuse. If an FA is in the closet and stays their alone, at least the only person they hurt with their stupidity is themselves. If they EVER dare try to make their problem someone else's, then they are revealing their complete moral depravity. It makes me upset and it makes me angry, and I won't stand for it. You do NOT treat a woman like this. You do NOT treat any person like this. I don't care if they let you do it them. That doesn't excuse you and it doesn't make it okay. It just makes it sad and tragic and I hope the women who go through this can learn that they don't deserve this and they don't have to put up with it. Then me, I can only hope they will someday learn how stupid and horrible they were and can do a lot to bring their karma back in order.

I am forever grateful that I never "knew enough" to build myself a closet. That I was openly checking out fat girls in grade school. That I never hid a crush because the crushee was fat. That I sent fat girls carnations on "Secret Admirer Day" and meant it and made sure I wasn't very secret. They I dated fat girls in high school and wrote about fat acceptance for the school paper my Freshman year. It was the smartest thing I ever did, and all I had to do was absolutely nothing.
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Old 01-03-2007, 09:18 PM   #20
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I have never dated a thin woman in my life. As a teenager and even in my 20's, I was laughed at by other guys because I liked fat girls. I never let it bother me. The girls I went out with were always at my house, and I always brought them around my friends. I'm happily married to a SSBBW, but I wish she was as confident as some of the lovely ladies on this board. She certainly deserves to be.
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Old 01-03-2007, 09:22 PM   #21
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What about FAs going undercover to fight terrorism or organized crime? YOU WANT THEM OUT OF HIDING, HUH?

Answer my question, AFG, if you have the guts to do so. And then post pix plz of said guts tanx.
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Old 01-03-2007, 09:53 PM   #22
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I'm an FA and proud. If you want to talk you can im me at umbroboyum on aim.


FAs are closeted for similar reason like others, fear of reject and truth. That being said, there will always be that guy who likes fat chicks but is to afraid to say it cause everyone else will make fun of him. I've been teased and luaghed at and out right insulted for being an FA, But I don't care, I love women fat or thin... preferably fat.

-Jon
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Old 01-03-2007, 09:59 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by fatlane View Post
What about FAs going undercover to fight terrorism or organized crime? YOU WANT THEM OUT OF HIDING, HUH?

Answer my question, AFG, if you have the guts to do so. And then post pix plz of said guts tanx.
Ok, Ok, FL's right. If you're an FA and in hiding for political reasons, I'll give you a second chance.

And I will certainly NOT post pix of my guts here tnx! I'm being serious! *huff*
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Old 01-03-2007, 10:00 PM   #24
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Lets stop labeling men as "FA" and that might help. I admire WOMEN and if they happen to be wrapped in fabulous curves, so be it. I don't admire the fat in them; I admire THEM.
that's all well and good chocolatemonkeyman, but she's talking about FA's, not just men that appreciate women period. the two are completely different. a man claiming to be an FA, to love women of size and be accepting and in admiration of them to his s/o, but hiding this from others is TOTALLY different than a man that appreciates women period doing the same. if you are told to your face that your size is one of your more beautiful physical attributes, something that you've most likely been ashamed of at some point in your life, and led to believe by said person that you are desirable, wanted, sexy, and amazing all due in part to your size, and then shunned when around his friends/family/people outside the 'size realm', it cuts far deeper than if you were with a man that just appreciates women period. if you're with a man that just loves women, you most likely won't be led to believe that your fat is beautiful, again, something you have most likely been embarrassed about at some point in your life, and in all honesty, it would probably never get to the point of you being around his friends or family.

my two cents, and yes, i already know, you don't care.
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Old 01-03-2007, 10:01 PM   #25
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Ok, Ok, FL's right. If you're an FA and in hiding for political reasons, I'll give you a second chance.

And I will certainly NOT post pix of my guts here tnx! I'm being serious! *huff*
ok nice compromise u cn email me teh pixxorz k?
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