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Old 01-30-2007, 01:45 PM   #26
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Not long ago, a Dims guy followed me around Yahoo Messenger and when I confessed I wasn't interested, went on and on about how ugly I was, how fat I was, how hideous I was, how stupid I was (please!).

He also called me a 'ni**er' a lot. And I mean a LOT.

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Old 01-30-2007, 01:51 PM   #27
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I have to say that I have been very lucky when it comes to this, and to men in general, as in the 8+ years I've been around the SA sites and in chats and such, I have only rarely gotten penis pics or nasty emails from guys, let alone gotten grief for turning someone down. Hasn't happened. Men have comported themselves with me, by and large, with respect and class from the time I have been here at Dim, and regarding my feature and cover, on the board here, in email, and in snail mail, to the present day. And certainly 99% of the men here on the board are simply wonderful, complimentary and sweet. I have no complaints.
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Old 01-30-2007, 02:02 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by Jes View Post
Not long ago, a Dims guy followed me around Yahoo Messenger and when I confessed I wasn't interested, went on and on about how ugly I was, how fat I was, how hideous I was, how stupid I was (please!).

He also called me a 'ni**er' a lot. And I mean a LOT.

www.cuckoo.com!
roflmao! I don't know why that made me do a spitake. I had a couple of people do that to me but it was years ago when I first got on the internet. One guy said that I will die bedridden and alone rotting for months before anyone will ever even ask about my wherabouts. lol Yeah, he's a catch. How could I have let him slip through my fingers?

Some peole are just kooks. Has nothing to do with them being an FA. My friend is a leggy blonde and her ex used to berate her when he got angry - call her stupid blonde bimbo with more boobs than brains, etc. Some guys are just weenie fragile and that's all they know. If it's not one thing it would be another with them. Count your blessings and keep the delete/ignore function warm.
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Old 01-30-2007, 02:18 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by AnnMarie View Post

There are sooooo many other thing to consider in how she carries herself, interests, how she acts, style, hair color, etc, etc.... so the whole opposite mentality of some women that every guy, who may be an FA, should like them is pretty far off the mark as well.

Okay, done - one more pissing in the wind attempt at being the great equalizer!
Spot on AnnMarie

Thats good advice in general... not just for FAs and BBWs...
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Old 01-30-2007, 03:59 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by CurvyEm View Post
I talk to a HELL of a lot of men online who are attracted to fat girls but I've found one common factor among a lot of them. If I turn them down they turn straight onto the whole "you're just a fat bitch" type stuff.
Just to go back to the original post, I have to say, that although any guy who would do this is obviously not worth paying any attention to, it is to my mind a particularly awful thing to say! I mean...sleazy/awful the full 360 degrees. To go from trying to make it with somebody to trashing them for the very reason you wanted to fck them 10 seconds ago is just really...unfreakinevolved. So mean and stupid and all about their own problems so who cares, but BLECH. I haven't had this happen that much, I am thrilled to say. But even once is more than enough...sticks in my craw.
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Old 01-30-2007, 04:09 PM   #31
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It happened to me one time. I was in the mall and this guy told me that I looked like a vanilla ice cream cone and he wanted to lick me up. I ignored him and then he said F*** you, you fat bitch. I was just like UGH! I rolled my eyes at him and kept walking.
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Old 01-30-2007, 05:04 PM   #32
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I'm not like that, if a women dosn't find me attractive or dosn't think im her type then thats fine! I'd never be trollish, mean, offensive, insulting or insensitive if she rejected me coz of the reasons above because I like big girls and don't see the point in insulting her for being so if thats the primary reason why I started talking to her in the first place. However if she was mean, insulting, offensive, ignored or blanked me for no reason then I would retaliate (kidding, I'd probably do nothing lol but those are the circumstances when you give as good as you get not when your ego takes a battering coz the women your talking to dosn't think your physically attractive or isn't what shes looking for, the thing to do is take on the chin and be a man about it)!

At the end of the day it comes down to preferences that includes body types, personality traits, hair colour, height, eye colour, etc... If you don't fit that don't get pissy with whoever your talking to, try to get passed that and move on!!

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Old 01-30-2007, 07:33 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by CurvyEm View Post
I talk to a HELL of a lot of men online who are attracted to fat girls but I've found one common factor among a lot of them. If I turn them down they turn straight onto the whole "you're just a fat bitch" type stuff.
I have heard (or rather read) many women complaining about the same and when I read these types of complaints, it rings a little bell in my head.

I am a male FA, and when I tell other males about my preference for fat women, a quite common type of reaction is "Wow, I really wish I was like you because fat girls are so much easier to get". I have had this reaction from a couple of friends and from at least two co-workers at my former job. OK, 4-5 guys is not much but I am quite shy and don't advertise my preference to everybody I meet, in general I only tell close friends about it, so I think that it's a fairly common idea among men. Also, you have to consider that it's likely that many guys probably have thought "Wow, I really wish I was like that guy..." but not said it loud.

In other words, many males believe that being an FA is great because then you can easily pick and choose an [in your own eyes] attractive woman, even if you happen to be an unattractive asshole yourself. Somehow, I sense that many younger women are not fully aware of how cynical many men are when it comes to getting laid, perhaps even when it comes to getting married.

When it comes to being an FA, I believe that fat admiring is like a continuous spectrum. At one extreme, there are those who don't want to be with a fat girl, some guys in the middle don't care either way, and at the other extreme there are FAs. Now, it's possible that those men who yell at you for being fat after being turned down are hardcore out-of-the-closet FAs but I suspect that many probably are somewhere on the "I don't care if she is fat" part of the spectrum and probably they have this idea of fat girls being easy to get.

I understand that those guys probably told you that they were real FAs but have you considered the possibility that it was just creative marketing?

Now, when you have one of these guys. He isn't much of an FA but tell fat girls that he is because he want a girl that is easy to get. Then, this fat girl (which in his world view should be easy to get) turn him down. Ouch, that probably hurt his ego a bit! So, the guy want to hurt you back and of course, when you want to hurt a fat girl, what is easier to pick on than the weight?

I believe that many of these guys in a twisted way try to say "You should be happy that I am so liberal when it comes to female body fat that I asked you for a date because you are really fat [and unattractive to most men]!"

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Is that just me?
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Old 02-03-2007, 11:13 AM   #34
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Interesting topic, but basic social skills and a little sensitivity would preclude ANYONE from offending another person. Insecure people from either gender can show their true colors when rejected, regardless of how tactfully it is done.
I have had a few BBW's, and one SSBBW, after quality phone conversations, meet me and say, "you're adorable, but I feel like I'd break you!" Not rude, but still a rejection due to weight. Does that count?
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Old 02-03-2007, 11:22 AM   #35
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Interesting topic, but basic social skills and a little sensitivity would preclude ANYONE from offending another person. Insecure people from either gender can show their true colors when rejected, regardless of how tactfully it is done.
I have had a few BBW's, and one SSBBW, after quality phone conversations, meet me and say, "you're adorable, but I feel like I'd break you!" Not rude, but still a rejection due to weight. Does that count?
No, because that's programming she's lived with for a lifetime. She's told she's the heaviest thing on the planet, that no "normal" or skinny guy would have any interest, and the basic physics of her gigantically, planet-like (how she sees it) body on your little one... well, yours couldn't possibly hold up.

It's not insulting, it's a simple reprogramming issue. So I have to say.... no, it's not nearly even remotely the same as someone saying "thanks, but you're not really my type" and getting the response "who the fuck said they wanted you anyway you gigantic fat digusting whore?!".

Ya feel me?
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Old 02-03-2007, 11:53 AM   #36
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Hi...
Well, if the tone is as obnoxious as you make it sound, I do feel you. Anyone who would intentionally insult someone's appearance isn't worth the time to digest the insult. But, YES, there is a big difference.
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Old 02-03-2007, 04:54 PM   #37
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So this is a question for the girls and I mean NO offence for the men.

Have you ever come across FAs who have been offencive towards you for not finding them attractive?

I talk to a HELL of a lot of men online who are attracted to fat girls but I've found one common factor among a lot of them. If I turn them down they turn straight onto the whole "you're just a fat bitch" type stuff. I'm just wondering if many other fat girls have come across this? I get it quite often to be honest. Not so much from people here, but if I'm talking to someone from a BBW site and I dont want to meet up or I decide we're not right for each other I find the men go straight for "well you're a big fat slag" type thing..

Is that just me?

Yeah, those guys are assholes.

Any lovely lady of any size will be treated like a Queen by me.


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Old 02-03-2007, 05:53 PM   #38
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I've had it happen before. I think what he said is "Go eat cake, you fat bitch." It didn't really hurt my feelings (just made me hungry for cake) because a jerk like that really doesn't even have a clue. "Fat bitch" isn't all that hurtful to me anymore...I guess it's so unimaginative I respond with "Yeah? So?"

On the other side of this same behavior are the guys (and this has happened a LOT) who say "I'd date you." I don't know what they expect; gratitude, me to hear angels sing and have an epiphany or something. I just say "thanks" somewhat wryly. I don't think they mean it badly, but a lot of the time it feels like a pity thing, or that I should be overjoyed that ANYONE would ask me out. One of these days though, I'm gonna be in a bad mood and end up saying "What makes you think I'd date YOU?"
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Old 02-03-2007, 07:49 PM   #39
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just made me hungry for cake
*laugh* Okay.. I needed that.
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Old 02-03-2007, 11:56 PM   #40
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im used to being turned down by women, so i tend not to get childish about it
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Old 09-07-2007, 04:24 PM   #41
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What a bastard to say such a thing. Not an FA at all, just a bastard. And it's really so common? So many experiencing the same thing? Moreover, why is it generally accepted that abuse of bigger people as is ok? It seems to be politically incorrect to offend people in regard to so many physical attributes, but to offend fat people is seen as being ok... I don't get it at all.
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Old 09-07-2007, 07:35 PM   #42
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I don't think this is necessarily a BBW/FA issue. I have seen men treat my thin/average friends the same way when they have rejected some jerk. It is just human nature to find some sort of defense when rejected. I am not excusing the response by any means, it is rude and un-called for. I am just saying that it's not surprizing and not limited to just us BBW/FAs.
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Old 09-07-2007, 11:44 PM   #43
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People who are like this are most decidedly spread out across all of society, but I wonder is if the particular personality type has become more widespread with the advent of the internet.

These are the same people who drive loud, obnoxious cars and weave in and out of traffic all the time, making close calls and generally driving like assholes. They think they're "the shit."

My girlfriend and I have a signal when we encounter people like this. We make the hand gesture below (not what you think it is), to signify that they are most likely compensating for something.
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Old 09-08-2007, 03:36 PM   #44
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After chatting with a friend tonight we decided that it does seem that there are some groups of people that wider society deems as being acceptable to offend, whilst others are taboo.

Basically, he'd had to fill a car tax renewal out in the post office and made a mistake on the form. This friend, who is a sensitive and kind man with as many letters after his name as there are letters in the alphabet, was told by the woman behind the desk, on noticing his mistake: "well, not bad... considering you're a man."

Imagine if she'd said, "not bad, considering you're black", or "not bad, considering you're old"...

Those would have been considered far worse and much more offensive statements, and would have probably cost her her job. But somehow she was able to offend my friend... Why is it ok to offend some and not others?

It just seems that there are certain groups who take the brunt of society's hatred at points throughout history: in our time it's overweight people, thanks to the indoctrinative stick-insect women you see in the media, and men, thanks to feminism and its permeating into a popular culture that doesn't understand the subtleties of the original movement.

On the forum though, I think I agree with Krystalltuerme: the internet does seem to have provided a space for a lot of bastards and wankers. I think there should be a place to report them and have them banned.
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Old 09-08-2007, 03:55 PM   #45
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After chatting with a friend tonight we decided that it does seem that there are some groups of people that wider society deems as being acceptable to offend, whilst others are taboo.

Basically, he'd had to fill a car tax renewal out in the post office and made a mistake on the form. This friend, who is a sensitive and kind man with as many letters after his name as there are letters in the alphabet, was told by the woman behind the desk, on noticing his mistake: "well, not bad... considering you're a man."

Imagine if she'd said, "not bad, considering you're black", or "not bad, considering you're old"...

Those would have been considered far worse and much more offensive statements, and would have probably cost her her job. But somehow she was able to offend my friend... Why is it ok to offend some and not others?

It just seems that there are certain groups who take the brunt of society's hatred at points throughout history: in our time it's overweight people, thanks to the indoctrinative stick-insect women you see in the media, and men, thanks to feminism and its permeating into a popular culture that doesn't understand the subtleties of the original movement.

On the forum though, I think I agree with Krystalltuerme: the internet does seem to have provided a space for a lot of bastards and wankers. I think there should be a place to report them and have them banned.
I'm not berating ya here, and I'm sorry that your friend was insulted, but please let me clarify.

I'd thank you not to confuse the popular demonized "man-hatin' feminism" with the feminism that tries to end gender discrimination, violence and discrimination against women, and wants to make reparations for the terrible toll that modern values of masculinity has had on our men. Real feminists don't pull that "considering you're a man" shit on petty issues like filling out a form. You might, however, be on the receiving end of a similar statement if in a discussion about the glass ceiling, issues around rape, and gender-based violence. And even then, I'd hope it was a respectful discussion.

That woman was no feminist. That woman was a man-hatin' bitch, and your friend just happened to make a mistake that she could harp on. She's probably one of the indoctrinated "femi-nazis" who think that all men are scum and should be obliterated. Or she was spurned by many a fella and had to take it out of some poor guy.

That ain't feminism.

[/end rant.]
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Old 09-08-2007, 04:13 PM   #46
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Old 09-08-2007, 05:32 PM   #47
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Love Dubh, I don't think you can disentagle the two issues. I accept that real feminism is intellectually separate to man hating, but I believe that the current fashion for ridiculing men certainly has roots in the feminist movement. How can it be otherwise?

How would you explain man-hating? You think that it's just women who've been hurt, taking revenge?
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Old 09-09-2007, 04:08 AM   #48
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Have you ever come across FAs who have been offencive towards you for not finding them attractive?
Not so much for not finding them attractive as for not thinking that they are doing me some kind of a favor when they try to hit me up for casual sex. Yes, I am flattered that they find me attractive enough to want to have sex with me after one view of an online profile, but no I am not going to take them up on the offer. Even when I tell them it's not that I don't like them it's just that I'm in a committed relationship and don't cheat and don't do casual sex in general, they still get pissy and think I am rejecting them for not being hot enough or something. They just don't get that even if they were my dream man I'd still say thanks for the offer but I'm cool. Sometimes they get really pissy and mouthy. Most of the time, whatever little chat friendship they have tried to get going with me fizzles out when they find out they won't get into my pants. And that really bothers me more than if they'd just call me a name or something. Not that I haven't been called stuck-up and other things for turning them down.
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Old 09-12-2007, 12:43 PM   #49
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After chatting with a friend tonight we decided that it does seem that there are some groups of people that wider society deems as being acceptable to offend, whilst others are taboo.

Basically, he'd had to fill a car tax renewal out in the post office and made a mistake on the form. This friend, who is a sensitive and kind man with as many letters after his name as there are letters in the alphabet, was told by the woman behind the desk, on noticing his mistake: "well, not bad... considering you're a man."

Imagine if she'd said, "not bad, considering you're black", or "not bad, considering you're old"...

Those would have been considered far worse and much more offensive statements, and would have probably cost her her job. But somehow she was able to offend my friend... Why is it ok to offend some and not others?

It just seems that there are certain groups who take the brunt of society's hatred at points throughout history: in our time it's overweight people, thanks to the indoctrinative stick-insect women you see in the media, and men, thanks to feminism and its permeating into a popular culture that doesn't understand the subtleties of the original movement.

On the forum though, I think I agree with Krystalltuerme: the internet does seem to have provided a space for a lot of bastards and wankers. I think there should be a place to report them and have them banned.
Maybe she was simply telling him that she noticed he was a man.

Often, tt's a pre-flirt comment.
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Old 09-12-2007, 12:44 PM   #50
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Love Dubh, I don't think you can disentagle the two issues. I accept that real feminism is intellectually separate to man hating, but I believe that the current fashion for ridiculing men certainly has roots in the feminist movement. How can it be otherwise?

How would you explain man-hating? You think that it's just women who've been hurt, taking revenge?
Hate to break this to you, women insulted men in person and in private LONG before feminism.
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