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Old 09-12-2007, 01:16 PM   #51
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Originally Posted by Bafta1 View Post
Love Dubh, I don't think you can disentagle the two issues. I accept that real feminism is intellectually separate to man hating, but I believe that the current fashion for ridiculing men certainly has roots in the feminist movement. How can it be otherwise?

How would you explain man-hating? You think that it's just women who've been hurt, taking revenge?
Yes, it is. It's a woman who's been scorned by a man (or many men) and taking it out on whatever poor guy she encounters. You don't need to look to a movement or ideology to justify it.

You think Black people only started thinking themselves worthy of civil rights and equality when the Civil Rights movement occurred? Nu-uh, buddy. They always felt that way, and social circumstances and the right people collided to create that movement. Same with feminism.

Also: What Jane said.
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Old 09-12-2007, 01:33 PM   #52
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I'm guessing some people just dont take rejection well
Some fat girls have not taken it well that i like chunky chicks.
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Old 09-12-2007, 02:14 PM   #53
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Originally Posted by love dubh View Post
Yes, it is. It's a woman who's been scorned by a man (or many men) and taking it out on whatever poor guy she encounters. You don't need to look to a movement or ideology to justify it.

You think Black people only started thinking themselves worthy of civil rights and equality when the Civil Rights movement occurred? Nu-uh, buddy. They always felt that way, and social circumstances and the right people collided to create that movement. Same with feminism.

Also: What Jane said.

Love Dubh, you are dealing with two separate subjects in your post and I can’t see how they’re linked. You liken Feminism to the Civil Rights Movement, which is fine. And you claim, again, that man-hating is a separate issue - I still disagree.

The problem is that I don’t understand what point you are trying to make by comparing Feminism to the Civil Rights Movement. How does that help your argument that Feminism did not spawn man-hating? It seems pretty obvious that periods in which particular groups gain emancipation are always preceded by social unrest. The emancipation itself is the mere crescendo. But again, how does that help your claim?

It seems to me that the premises on which the Feminist movement was founded is of very little consequence to this argument. The question really concerns the way in which philosophical ideas permeate the minds of the masses and how ideas alter general behaviour and societal attitudes.

Do you know Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s book ‘Herland’? It was written at the beginning of the twentieth century and was the first feminist utopian novel. Despite the fact that Gilman was merely lobbying for equal rights for women, her novel is about a world in which women reign supreme; in which men are a completely redundant part of society, (the women actually live alone because men are no-longer needed).

These are archetypal images in feminist literature. Since the 60s these kinds of ideas have come into the common, maybe slightly less-educated, imagination. I would suggest that such ideas have left women a little confused: are women to build careers, have families, earn money, be housekeepers... etc. etc... all at the same time?

In a world in which women are expected to be the hunter-gatherers and the homemakers, men are redundant. Consequently, men and women become enemies.

I want to say again that I am a feminist Love Dubh. I defend a woman’s right to pursue whatever path she chooses. I am not arguing for a return to the 1950s. It just seems to me that society expects women to be all things, all of the time. The same is not expected of men. I believe that this imbalance leads to resentment on the woman’s part, and a negative prevailing image of the male gender. This, in turn, has led to the phenomenon that you rightly describe as ‘man-hating’.

The two are linked.
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Old 09-12-2007, 02:55 PM   #54
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Yeah, it's pretty common Em, but I have to say I would NEVER, EVER consider those men FAs, nor grace them with that title.

They're online dicks looking for a place to land and can't stand that some "fat bitch" has enough taste, sense, and respect for herself to want nothing to do with them.

But yeah, it happens... they figure we're easy and they can't even fathom that a fat chick would turn down any chance at attention or sex. God, I do hate it all so.

And additionally, I don't think FAs should just date any old girl who has a big body (not saying anyone here said that... to be clear). I think preference for me and a guy and anyone else is up to them. If you like fat girls but you like boobs or you like apples or you like a bottom heavy girl, etc... then that's your choice. No reason you should have to date any fat little old lady or fat young thing that comes along just because she tips the scales over 250, you know? There are sooooo many other thing to consider in how she carries herself, interests, how she acts, style, hair color, etc, etc.... so the whole opposite mentality of some women that every guy, who may be an FA, should like them is pretty far off the mark as well.

Okay, done - one more pissing in the wind attempt at being the great equalizer!
Absolutely perfectly put Ann Marie! THANK YOU!!! I think there are some guys round these parts that think they are doing us a favor or something. Like "how could you resist me? you're fat and I'm hot and now I'm confused?!?!? LOL
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Old 09-12-2007, 05:06 PM   #55
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This is starting to sound like a thread that should be in Hyde Park. The civil rights/feminism discussion is more appropriate there.
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Old 09-12-2007, 05:13 PM   #56
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Originally Posted by Bafta1 View Post
Love Dubh, I don't think you can disentagle the two issues. I accept that real feminism is intellectually separate to man hating, but I believe that the current fashion for ridiculing men certainly has roots in the feminist movement. How can it be otherwise?

How would you explain man-hating? You think that it's just women who've been hurt, taking revenge?
So do you blame feminism for all the woman-hating that has been going on for centuries? Just curious...where did the roots of woman-hating come from if "man-hating" came from feminists? Did hating white people come from the Klan? I think it's all much more complicated than blaming it on one particular group. Hatred of others stems from self-hatred and insecurity, imo.

BTW, that woman that said that to your friend- could it have been a joke? Perhaps not a funny one but could she have even been...flirting? It certainly got his attention, it seems....


Edit***Sorry SVS- just saw your post
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Old 09-12-2007, 11:56 PM   #57
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So do you blame feminism for all the woman-hating that has been going on for centuries? Just curious...where did the roots of woman-hating come from if "man-hating" came from feminists? Did hating white people come from the Klan? I think it's all much more complicated than blaming it on one particular group. Hatred of others stems from self-hatred and insecurity, imo.

BTW, that woman that said that to your friend- could it have been a joke? Perhaps not a funny one but could she have even been...flirting? It certainly got his attention, it seems....


Edit***Sorry SVS- just saw your post

Hmmm. I think all this is getting too intense. I don't want to come across like some weird 1950s traditionalist throwback. Because I'm definitely not one. Since this is a kind of pop-sociological debate with no empirical evidence to prove anyone right or wrong, I'm going to stop arguing the corner I seem to have taken up. This is all very much based on personal perspective and arguing either way is more a fanning of the feathers of one's own argumentative skills, rather than a search for the unattainable roots of whatever it was we were debating...
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Old 09-13-2007, 04:42 PM   #58
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I think it's a great discussion and I'd love to see you start a thread in Hyde Park.
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Old 10-18-2009, 08:45 PM   #59
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I'm a guy, and I know that a lot of guys are that way. Huge egos, and no brains. They think that "fat girls" (not my favorite term) must be desperate and would be crazy to turn them down. The truth of the matter is the majority of these guys are not very attractive themselves, and their attitudes become a definite deal breaker. For me, the best way to get a woman that I was interested in (and SSBBWs are the only ones I've ever been interested in) was to talk to her, listen to what she had to say, get to know her without trying to pressure her into anything, treat her with respect and dignity, let her know that just being able to talk with her and spend time with her was the most important thing to me, and to always be there for her when and if she needed me. This way, the seeds of real love can grow, and you forge a bond stronger than any based on sex. And I got the one I wanted most, and I will love her for the rest of my life.
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Old 10-25-2009, 10:30 AM   #60
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Have you ever come across FAs who have been offensive towards you for not finding them attractive?
if I'm talking to someone from a BBW site and I dont want to meet up or I decide we're not right for each other I find the men go straight for "well you're a big fat slag" type thing..

Is that just me?
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Old 10-25-2009, 03:35 PM   #61
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I chat a lot online to FA's and non FA's and have only had one do that.
The line that gets me is I want to FU*& a fat chick just to see what its like you busy?ARGGGGGGH!!!
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Old 10-25-2009, 11:31 PM   #62
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So this is a question for the girls and I mean NO offence for the men.

Have you ever come across FAs who have been offencive towards you for not finding them attractive?

I talk to a HELL of a lot of men online who are attracted to fat girls but I've found one common factor among a lot of them. If I turn them down they turn straight onto the whole "you're just a fat bitch" type stuff. I'm just wondering if many other fat girls have come across this? I get it quite often to be honest. Not so much from people here, but if I'm talking to someone from a BBW site and I dont want to meet up or I decide we're not right for each other I find the men go straight for "well you're a big fat slag" type thing..

Is that just me?

That has happened to me too. I end up turning it around a bit but usually these guys are too thick to get it.
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Old 10-25-2009, 11:46 PM   #63
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Old 08-01-2010, 01:37 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by CurvyEm View Post
So this is a question for the girls and I mean NO offence for the men.

Have you ever come across FAs who have been offencive towards you for not finding them attractive?

I talk to a HELL of a lot of men online who are attracted to fat girls but I've found one common factor among a lot of them. If I turn them down they turn straight onto the whole "you're just a fat bitch" type stuff. I'm just wondering if many other fat girls have come across this? I get it quite often to be honest. Not so much from people here, but if I'm talking to someone from a BBW site and I dont want to meet up or I decide we're not right for each other I find the men go straight for "well you're a big fat slag" type thing..

Is that just me?
That happened to me a few times on sum swingers' sites and some other sites. (this was before I decided to go out with my current fiance) They would start out ok enough to have a conversation with, then usually the dude would start talking about something I did not wish to talk about or degrading me (thinking I'd like it). I''d say "stop" or whatever then I am suddenly an ugly fat b--- to him, or anything else he could try to label me with behind his computer. Cowardly IMO. I usually just reported them to the Mod.
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Old 08-01-2010, 02:56 PM   #65
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I have only honestly come accross one guy like that and I already posted the details in the worst internet messages thing

but I have only had one who has turned abosolutely ferral and he told me I looked like quality but my personality was shit and that was because I asked him what he did for a living and apparently that made me a gold digger because he was on disability wich actually had nothing to do with my reaction to him he was very rude about it and expected me to wear the abuse and his appalling attitude

I just said sorry but it is obvious you have a chip on your shoulder and an attitude and I am not interested in that, I blocked him on im so he came at me with 3 diff ids one after the other then sent me the mmessage about my shit personality but then again I havent really participated in the whole dating site thing
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