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Old 02-23-2007, 03:19 PM   #1
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Default Kicking shame in the ass

Last night I masturbated. I didn't mean to. I wasn't thinking about it at all when I went to bed. But my husband is out of town and I never sleep well in the bed alone anymore. So I was tossing and turning. My hand brushed my belly and I thought, "oooo." So it went on from there. What was so wonderfully different from past experiences was how aware I was of the sheets rubbing my belly and how much my body jiggled through the process. I love the feeling of my belly being rubbed during intercourse and I've felt the jiggle too. Its been good. But this was by myself with no other "distractions." It was awesome.

So why the title? Afterwards I was laying in my bed and suddenly I started fantasizing about losing weight and figuring how much I would have to lose for the Doctor to smile at me again. I stopped. What was going on? I had just had this awesome experience because I was bigger and I'm thinking about losing? I started examining my feelings and found embarrassement and dare I say, shame? What did I have to be shameful about? I hadn't done anything wrong or unnatural.

So here it is. I'm outing the shame. This post is me saying, "Get out, Shame. You have no place with me!"
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Old 02-23-2007, 04:54 PM   #2
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Thanks for making me smile
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Old 02-23-2007, 05:44 PM   #3
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last night I masturbated as well. then i smoked a cigarette and cut myself. i like your story better though.
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Old 02-23-2007, 06:20 PM   #4
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I too double clicked my mouse and fell fast asleep like a baby
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Old 02-23-2007, 10:03 PM   #5
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Masturbation is funtimes. >_> But, sometimes I feel the same way. It's ridiculous. The shame is pointless, I don't think it does anything other than make you unhappy.
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Old 02-24-2007, 07:10 PM   #6
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I'm a guy, so perhaps I'm talking a bit out of turn. But, I wanted to say:

Thanks, magnolia. This is an awesome post. I realize many of us get taught that our bodies, its sexuality, and its pleasures come with some tinge of shame. Masterbating, fetish, auto-eroticism, experimenting, etc., has this stigma. Many folks, here, of course, out that shite for what it is. Like you, they reject it. And, for that I say, "Amen."

I've heard some fat folk, too - women in particular - talk about they're sent this message that they aren't or aren't supposed to be sexual. The approved or "proper sexual body" is sleek, proportioned, firm, submissive, airbrushed, etc. Like most everyone here, I celebrate rejecting this norm, especially of femininity.

Yeah! for liberation whenever and however it comes. Outing shame, for what it is, is courageous. Not everyone has the courage to say it, post it, etc.

Sorry if this post sounds like a support group meeting. But, Dim, I think, is supposed to be that, too!
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Old 02-24-2007, 07:36 PM   #7
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I've heard some fat folk, too - women in particular - talk about they're sent this message that they aren't or aren't supposed to be sexual. The approved or "proper sexual body" is sleek, proportioned, firm, submissive, airbrushed, etc.
I felt like that until recently, where I realised that I don't think I'd feel sexy thin. Just a personal feeling. There are sexy thin people, but I wouldn't feel like I was. Since I have come to that conclusion, my general self esteem has increased. I am not really scared of sexuality anymore, either.
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Old 02-24-2007, 07:38 PM   #8
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Yeah! for liberation whenever and however it comes. Outing shame, for what it is, is courageous. Not everyone has the courage to say it, post it, etc.
Thanks.
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Old 02-25-2007, 05:07 AM   #9
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I'm so glad you posted this, Magnolia. We are soooo conditioned as women to be "proper" and a "good girl" when it comes to sexuality. Anytime a woman wants to show her sexual side, she's labeled as a whore or slut. Eff that noise!
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Old 02-25-2007, 06:13 PM   #10
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I frig away all the time, and let me tell you: IT IS GOOD TIMES!

I also bought my first toy yesterday, from Philly. I'M A BIG GIRL NOW!

/END CAPS.
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Old 02-25-2007, 06:18 PM   #11
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I frig away all the time, and let me tell you: IT IS GOOD TIMES!

I also bought my first toy yesterday, from Philly. I'M A BIG GIRL NOW!

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Well, we'll be seeing you in a couple of weeks then. Have fun!
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:06 PM   #12
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I frig away all the time, and let me tell you: IT IS GOOD TIMES!

I also bought my first toy yesterday, from Philly. I'M A BIG GIRL NOW!

/END CAPS.
what's funny is that I just bought my first toy a week ago myself.
I'm a big girl now too!
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:08 PM   #13
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I'm so glad you posted this, Magnolia. We are soooo conditioned as women to be "proper" and a "good girl" when it comes to sexuality. Anytime a woman wants to show her sexual side, she's labeled as a whore or slut. Eff that noise!
You rock my socks krissy! I love your posts.... because they are so true! I had a toy once. I named it BOB... battery operated boyfriend He was good to me.
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:16 PM   #14
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I frig away all the time, and let me tell you: IT IS GOOD TIMES!

I also bought my first toy yesterday, from Philly. I'M A BIG GIRL NOW!

/END CAPS.
I got mine when I was 19. Best 20 bucks I ever spent. >_>
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:18 PM   #15
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I got mine when I was 19. Best 20 bucks I ever spent. >_>
haha, I'm 19, and mine cost 20 bucks as well!!!
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:20 PM   #16
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I think this is shameful, what you women are doing.
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:32 PM   #17
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I think this is shameful, what you women are doing.
Your FACE is shameful !
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:34 PM   #18
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haha, I'm 19, and mine cost 20 bucks as well!!!
I got a better one at a sex shop in Boston on my 21th birthday.
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:34 PM   #19
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MINE WAS 20 BUX TOO.

Holy crap.

WE SHOULD FORM A TRIUMVERATE!
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:35 PM   #20
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MINE WAS 20 BUX TOO.

Holy crap.

WE SHOULD FORM A TRIUMVERATE!
We So Should!!!!
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:38 PM   #21
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Bux with an x is the best way to spell bux.
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Old 02-26-2007, 03:45 AM   #22
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You rock my socks krissy! I love your posts.... because they are so true! I had a toy once. I named it BOB... battery operated boyfriend He was good to me.
Aww, thanks Sasha. I'm been toy owner myself (SHOCK) since I was 28. I feel I missed out on those first however-many-years-until-I-got-one. My first one was 60 bucks and I broke it.

/no, I won't say how.
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Old 02-26-2007, 12:38 PM   #23
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Aww, thanks Sasha. I'm been toy owner myself (SHOCK) since I was 28. I feel I missed out on those first however-many-years-until-I-got-one. My first one was 60 bucks and I broke it.

/no, I won't say how.
Lol.... I think you dont have to say how.... we have imaginations Naughty girls haha
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Old 02-26-2007, 04:49 PM   #24
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Default No Shame here :-)

Obviously ladies, there is no shame here.

I wanted to respond though because I wanted to be clear that the masturbation wasn't the shameful part for me (been doing that for awhile now ) It was the enjoying my own fat.

P.S. toys are good - mine is pink.
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Old 02-26-2007, 04:49 PM   #25
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My first one was 60 bucks and I broke it.

/no, I won't say how.
haha, I giggled when I read that.
It happens!
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