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Old 03-27-2007, 03:47 PM   #51
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That thread made me think that there might be some women out there who have felt a little taboo about how much they eat. It also gave me inspiration for some of the answer alternatives. I don't see anything unreasonable about that.
You're right, there isn't anything wrong with the topic (as I've said) but your approach was off-putting (as I've said) and if you check the Guilty Eating thread (which I linked a while back) I think you'll find more answers along the line of what you were asking. It was just a discussion, and not a questionairre - and there were a lot of responses. Sometimes people just don't like being made to feel like subjects of an experiment or "study" - especially when it seems the person administering said study is asking because it's sexually interesting to them.

I am trying to imagine me handing out a questionnaire to sexy x-games athletes and asking them to describe the things they wear and how their body moves during certain moves. Do they feel dirty while they do it??

I'd try to hide my drool, but somehow I think they'd pick up on my bias.
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Old 03-27-2007, 03:48 PM   #52
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Okay, that's my maximum output on this thread. Best of luck.


AnnMarie, thanks for your answers.
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Old 03-27-2007, 03:49 PM   #53
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AnnMarie, thanks for your answers.
I clearly lied and answered several other times, but I'm trying hard to be done. I'm very sick of me right now.
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Old 03-27-2007, 03:56 PM   #54
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... In general, I am not a language person and I have always had a hard time learning new languages. My passion and talent lie in engineering, not linguistics.
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Well, I am not a native English speaker. English is a language that I have learned as an adult. However, I am also a little bit of a provocateur, or a "tactless boob" as somebody put it.
Unixfa, first of all, welcome to the boards.

I haven't done all the research I'd like to before posting a response like this. But, I've read 80% of this thread...and I think you're struggling to hear what folks are telling you. AnnMarie is being particularly objective, non-reactive, and open to your posts. However, I still don't think you're getting the problem with tact and approach that seems to be apparent here. I've included your two quotes above because I think they reveal to me something about why.

1. You are approaching your erotic interests (under the heading "overfed" BBW's) a bit like an engineer. And, as such, its lacking some basic understanding of social grace and human relating. First, your survey, while detailed and thought out, has seemed to lost sight of the fact that it is riddled with value-laden assumptions. For example, you seem to forget that while your term "overfed" carries with it a character judgment. To you, it may seem no more than a logical assumption. You're connecting indulgent eating habits and being a fat woman. Perhaps, BBW's "overfeed" themselves deliberately or covertly. This is simply connecting the dots for you. Engineers I know deal with things in such a linear fashion. They think in straight lines, analytically, objectively, and supported with empiricle data. Your assumptions and information-gathering approach obviously reflect that. But, unfortunately, your cool analytical approach seems to forget that your attempting to extract information for your personal erotic interest from real people who want to be treated as more than specimens for drawing erotically interesting data. I'd encourage you to detangle your analytic faculties from your erotic interests and try a different approach.

This is a weight and fantasy board....and if you would have left your posting to just sharing your fantasies and, perhaps a couple open ended questions, I think you would have been treated differently. AnnMarie's post has already said basically this same thing.

2. Your provocating (quote #2) isn't helping, either. Hang out for a while. Write some nice posts, make some witty remarks. Share some personal things about yourself. Then, do some provoking. And, do it with a sense of humor, not heady analytical rigor. I'd encourage you to stay away form provoking fat folk off the bat with data collection, then defend yourself as "just asking questions."

Would you give out this same survey to fat people at the market or on the trolly? If you do, I'd encourage you to at least wear a jock.

Lastly, assuming you are a man, you've got the burden of centuries of sexism to overcome. And, you should consider that. As a start, I'd encourage you to treat the BBW's and honorary fat girls around here like equals. Start with giving them the warmth of your compliments, not the chill of your analysis and questions. Take the noble first step: be the first to say something about what gets you off. Include in it something about what you indulge into too much, what makes your socially a bit unacceptable or self-conscious. Then, you might see that the ladies around here maybe even have fun warming up to your sense of feeding and fatism....and entertain some of your more critical questions.

Just trying to lend a hand. If I sound self-righteous and finger-pointing to you, never mind. That's not what I've intended. It just doesn't have to take 50 posts to get to a mutual exchange and conversation.

ETA: I see you and AM have talked more. Perhaps, my post is a bit late. All the same....
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:03 PM   #55
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Well, my idea was that the text could be quoted and those who answer could fill in an X into the []. Is this an unreasonable burden for BBWs?
hahahahaaa, i don't know why but this post peeved me, especially the bolded part.

yes, it is too much of a burden. i can't overfeed myself, click the mouse, AAAAAND type an x. i'd have to put one of my sammitches down.

yes, i'm being a smartass. i blame the retail industry as a whole.
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:09 PM   #56
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Bigplaidpants for president.

Of everything.
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:12 PM   #57
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Bigplaidpants for president.

Of everything.

Seconded
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:13 PM   #58
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Thanks for your reply, AnnMarie! I don't think that I've ever had that visceral, "feeders? Ew!" reaction, but I admit that it's not something I fully understand. But it helps to know that in fact, just as with any kink, it encompasses all of the facets.
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:19 PM   #59
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BigPlaidPants is my new hero. Amazing post.

I think that you hit on a really good point-- that this is an erotic weight gain board. By definition, much of the conversation that goes on here has to do with the sexy desirable aspects of overeating.

There's sort of a fundamental disconnect between that and asking about shame and guilt surrounding food and eating. Some of us, many of us perhaps, have spent years upon years trying to divorce the notions of hunger, satiety, and pleasure, from things like "guilt" and "taboo". For some this may be the one spot in which they can safely do that.

So, for example, I recall there being a bullet point in your survey regarding buying food for just yourself and claiming it's for several people. That's a rough and very emotionally-charged topic and I'll wager not many people are super comfortable answering that. It's an uncomfortable topic.

I think why I was confused is that your initial post contained elements of the overeating celebratory, and also elements of shame, and the two made an unholy union in my brain and it felt inappropriate and a little accusatory. I'm not getting on your case, but it seems that you're not clear on why the response to this has been less than stellar.
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:20 PM   #60
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As someone with an eating disorder and used to "hide my eating" at times, I have to say that I resent your "questions".
You always have the option to not answer them if you feel uncomfortable about them.

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Why? Because you don't seem to be straight up with them- once again, this response doesn't tell me WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?
Because I am fascinated by all sorts of issues regarding obesity in females. I think I might have a little bit of a let's-play-doctor fetish. Ok, there I have said it, please flame away if you feel that you must.

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Do you get some kind of pleasure from women feeling shame and eating in secret?
No, I get pleasure from women who openly admit that they eat a lot. However, I have noticed that some BBWs who eat a lot seem to be a bit reluctant to admit it. Thus, I think it would be good if BBWs who eat in secret would open up a little bit, for example by answering my questionnaire.

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hell does this do for you? Am I wrong? Please tell me what's in this for you?
I'm still not entirely sure why someone that isn't doing professional/school-related research
Well, I am an engineer. I have a tendency to approach issues in an organized and formal way. Thus, I enjoy making this type of surveys.

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would ask these questions that really don't even seem to expect a serious response.
Well, I am a realist. I was fully aware of the possibility that nobody wanted to answer them. As far as I can tell, at the time of writing one person has made a serious attempt to answer them, so I am happy

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Are you THAT bored? Perhaps the questions you should be asking are of yourself- as to why you feel the need to make ,what seems to me, mock questions for people you don't even know on the net and what do you hope to "accomplish" from all of this?
I don't really know what to reply to this. I will just say that my questions were not meant as mock questions.
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:24 PM   #61
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1. the word 'overfed' is something one uses to describe a pet who's tipped over the chow bag, or MAYBE a small child. common denominator: helplessness.
it's not a term one should use to describe an adult, unless you're really trying to sound like a creep.

2. the whole exhausitve survey thing? samNY said it before i could: it's clinical. and altogether off-putting. i'm not a feeder/ee myself, but i can comprehend enough about it to know that sensuality plays a huge part, at least for the women involved. discussion can be sensual. checking boxes in a Mengele-esque creepyass survey on the internet which may or may not eventually serve as wank fodder for some dude you don't know? not sensual. ever.


hope that helps explain the total failure of this thread.
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:35 PM   #62
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Because I am fascinated by all sorts of issues regarding obesity in females. I think I might have a little bit of a let's-play-doctor fetish. Ok, there I have said it, please flame away if you feel that you must.



No, I get pleasure from women who openly admit that they eat a lot. However, I have noticed that some BBWs who eat a lot seem to be a bit reluctant to admit it. Thus, I think it would be good if BBWs who eat in secret would open up a little bit, for example by answering my questionnaire.



Well, I am an engineer. I have a tendency to approach issues in an organized and formal way. Thus, I enjoy making this type of surveys.



Well, I am a realist. I was fully aware of the possibility that nobody wanted to answer them. As far as I can tell, at the time of writing one person has made a serious attempt to answer them, so I am happy



I don't really know what to reply to this. I will just say that my questions were not meant as mock questions.
Thank you for your answers. Knowing that you wanted to know because you get enjoyment from it and thus, don't intend ridicule towards people here, makes me feel better about the whole issue.
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:38 PM   #63
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Thank you for your answers. Knowing that you wanted to know because you get enjoyment from it and thus, don't intend ridicule towards people here, makes me feel better about the whole issue.
I agree. I don't think that the OP was intending to be offensive, but this is an issue that is so emotional it's hard to get people to answer.

I'm sorry if it seems like we've attacked you, unixfa.
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:45 PM   #64
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1. the word 'overfed' is something one uses to describe a pet who's tipped over the chow bag
I want to rep you for that...I can't stop laughing.
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Old 03-27-2007, 04:56 PM   #65
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AnnMarie's post has already said basically this same thing.
.......
Hey, at least your point got heard and heralded... apparently me saying all that didn't work as well.

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Old 03-27-2007, 05:03 PM   #66
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Hey, at least your point got heard and heralded... apparently me saying all that didn't work as well.


Stroke: stroke: stroke....pet pet pet.

Sorry, Ann Marie!
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Old 03-27-2007, 05:07 PM   #67
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Stroke: stroke: stroke....pet pet pet.

Sorry, Ann Marie!
hhaha, that's not what I meant, but I will not refuse strokes or pets.

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Old 03-27-2007, 05:13 PM   #68
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BigPlaidPants, you are a very wise man and that is by far the best post in this thread.

Unxifa, what strikes me also in this, besides the "cold" appraoch, is the use of the word "overfed". Feeding for me (also a non-native English speaker) implies one person feeding another person. Feeding yourself is just called "eating". Therefore I think "overeating" would have been better, maybe also less offensive.

Finally, it never ceases to amaze me how we FAs are all different with different interests.
 
Old 03-27-2007, 05:28 PM   #69
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Hey, at least your point got heard and heralded... apparently me saying all that didn't work as well.

LOL....Say what you will, AnnMarie....but, everyone knows who runs this place.



To boot: "I thought everyone listened to AnnMarie." This is what magnoliagrows just said while hovering over my shoulder.
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Old 03-27-2007, 05:31 PM   #70
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Well, my idea was that the text could be quoted and those who answer could fill in an X into the []. Is this an unreasonable burden for BBWs?
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hahahahaaa, i don't know why but this post peeved me, especially the bolded part.
yes, it is too much of a burden. i can't overfeed myself, click the mouse, AAAAAND type an x. i'd have to put one of my sammitches down.
yes, i'm being a smartass. i blame the retail industry as a whole.
I'm sorry, I hate fanning (vaguely) the dying embers of drama, but soupy, you're not a smart-ass; his comment makes me think despite what's being said, fat girls really are cattle in this scenario. Too stupid to click X, and too irresponsible to realize we're late filing out the form, according to our test proctor. This shit makes me wanna go 86,000 quick rounds with a speed bag--like the rest of the world isn't poised to think we're freakin stupid; having to deal with it here, in this veiled accusatory tone, is just pissing me the frick off. Why I read this thread in the first place I'll never know...my fault.

And too freakin hilar, Elle ('Mengele').
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Old 03-27-2007, 05:32 PM   #71
AnnMarie
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigplaidpants View Post
LOL....Say what you will, AnnMarie....but, everyone knows who runs this place.

To boot: "I thought everyone listened to AnnMarie." This is what magnoliagrows just said while hovering over my shoulder.
hahaha, I only wish that were true. Finally, my army of minions!

Nah, I am just having a "I typed all day about this!!!!!!!" moment - sometimes it just has to be said by someone else, or with a penis angle, or something like that.... just how it goes!!



And I agree with the others, what you posted was spot on!
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So ... yeah.
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Old 03-27-2007, 06:09 PM   #72
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Spring Break, isn't it.
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Old 03-27-2007, 06:44 PM   #73
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That was last week. And I resent the implication that all college students do around here is post annoying, trollish threads! Harumph.


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Old 03-27-2007, 07:08 PM   #74
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Originally Posted by AnnMarie View Post
hhaha, that's not what I meant, but I will not refuse strokes or pets.

that's my que!
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Old 03-27-2007, 07:41 PM   #75
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How taboo/secret is the fact that you are overfed?
(select one)
[] Not at all, I could wear a t-shirt that states that I am overfed
A little bit. I would not go around with a sign and a megaphone to tell people but I would never try to hide or give false impressions about the fact that I am overfed
[] I am willing to admit it to friends and family but not to anybody else
[] I am willing to admit it to a select few
[] Only my spouse know about it
[] I don't admit it even to myself, how dare you suggest that I am overfed?
X I am personally ashamed of my overeating so I probably lie to myself about it the most.

2. If being overfed is a secret/taboo for you, why is that?
(check all that apply)
[] I already told you that it's not a taboo for me.
X I am tired of the hypocritical moralizing about starving children in other countries, from people who themselves can have a $50k car and million dollar home
X I am religious and my religion forbids gluttony
[] My environment is religious and the religion forbids gluttony
X I feel that our culture doesn't accept female gluttony
[] I don't mind at all but people become so embarrassed when I tell them that I am overfed
[] I just doesn't feel right to talk about such an intimate thing with other people
X I feel ashamed because of my lack of self control when it comes to food
[] Other. What?

3. Have you ever done anything to hide the fact that you are overfed?
(check all that apply)
X I have lied about my eating habits
X I have not lied but said things that give a false impression of my eating habits (like a politician or lawyer would do)
[] I have incorrectly blamed my obesity on medical issues (metabolism, gland problems, PCOS, etc) that I don't have at all
[] I have some medical issues but I have exaggerated their impact in order to hide the fact that I am overfed
[] I have visited several stores/malls to hide from other shoppers and
X I have pretended to buy food for several people although it was all for myself
X I have hidden trash from overeating sessions in order to hide from my family, coworkers, friends, or acquaintances how much I eat
X I have chosen to eat alone, in order to not let anybody see how much I eat
[] I have visited several restaurants in order to hide how much I eat
[] I have visited several restaurants of the same chain (McDonald's, BK, etc) in order to hide how much I eat
[] I have underestimated the amount exercise that I do in order to hide my eating habits, since I think it's nicer if people think I am sedentary rather than overfed
[] Other. What?

4. From whom have you hidden the fact that you are overfed?
(check all that apply)
X Strangers
X Acquaintances
X Friends
X Coworkers
[COLOR="black"]X [/COLOR]Relatives
[] Neighbors
[] Spouse
[] people online (non-BBW communities)
[] people online (BBW communities)
[] you the people who read this web board
[] Somebody else, please tell who?

5. Is there a more polite way to say that somebody is overfed?
(select one)
[] foodee
[] over-nourished
[] very well fed
[] have dynamic eating habits
[] I don't want to think about it
[] No, overfed is the best word
X Anything besides glutton would be more polite

6. Bonus question. What kind of foods do you believe have made a significant contribution to your obesity?
(select all that apply)
X soda
[] sweet fruit juices
[] cream
[] milk
X butter
X chocolate
X candy
X potato chips
X other (corn, etc) chips
X cakes
X other bakery products
X
ice cream
X burgers
X french fries
[] fried onion rings
[] other fast food
[] other deep fried foods (not french fries or onion rings)
[] desserts
[] cheese
[] American
[] English
[] French
[] German
[] Italian
[] Russian
[] Other European
[] Chinese
[] Japanese
[] Korean
[] Indian
[] Other Asian
[] Mexican
[] other from the Americas
[] Kebab
[] Turkish
[] Arabic
[] Persian
[] North African
[] other African
[] Other ethnic food, please tell which?
[] Other, what?

I answered this as honestly as I could muster on a public website. While answering the questions I began to feel poorly about myself and my eating habits.

Last edited by Brenda; 03-27-2007 at 07:46 PM. Reason: clarification
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