So I went to the doctor today...

[NancyGirl74]

I started a new job about a month ago and part of being a preschool teacher involves having a physical and receiving a Mantoux test. No biggie. Done it many-o-time before. My employer set up an appointment for me and I went in this afternoon. After waiting (and waiting) I was weighed, blood pressured, and grilled with the usual questions ("Do you smoke, drink, have any cousins with weird moles?) by the nurse. A few minutes later the doctor came in and repeated the questions. Then she asked me very kindly if I was "working on" my weight. I said that yes I was and that it's a constant struggle and blah blah blahbity blah blah. That's when she started to say, "Have you thought about-". Before she could even get the words out I said, "Look, I know you mean well but I've been fat all my life. I've struggled with it all my life and I will for the rest of my life. Yes, I have looked into weight loss surgery and no, I do not feel it is right for me." I went on to tell her that I was about 50 lbs heavier two years ago and that I lost the weight on my own and that I would continue to do so until I feel I need to do something different. And when I was done with my little speech the doctor nodded, smiled, and said, "You'll get there." I'm not sure what that meant but I took it as something positive.

I'm not sure why I feel the need to share this story but I've never quite had an encounter like that with a doctor before. Usually, they push until I'm either pissed or getting emotional. This doctor just seemed to respect that I knew what was best for myself. Like I said, I've never really experienced that before....then again I've never spoken to a doctor like that before either. I usually shut up, pray for it to be over, and leave feeling like maybe they are right until I remember all the reasons why they are not. As least, not for me.

I am not in any way, shape, or form against WLS and if I ever needed to have it for the sake of my health and life I would...It's just not for me at this point and I don't want to feel pressured by someone who doesn't really know me or what I need in life. I went in expecting the pressure and when it started to come my way I was able to head it off. Oddly, enough I don't feel happy or proud for standing up for myself but instead I feel... resigned, I guess. Resigned to the fact that no matter the doctor or how kind he/she may be I will always, always have to deal with the weight questions, suggestions, and advice. This resigned feeling also leaves me a bit sad, though I'm not sure why. Really, it's not new knowledge to me...maybe I'm just not brushing it off or wearing blinders for the first time. Who knows...

Anyway, this is a long aimless sort of ramble but I just felt the need to say it...to put it out there in cyber world and let it become what may.





PS...I didn't know where to post this so I just stuck it here. If it's not the right place please move it to wherever it works best. Thanks

[Violet_Beauregard]

Nancy, I completely understand your feelings.... sincerely. I've been going regularly to my "family" physician for nearly three years. Prior to that, I only went when I was half dead from a serious cold or flu...which was just about never. Well, I really like this woman, and she keeps me coming back for regular check ups quarterly. BUT, we always, always, always, always, ALWAYS have to have the "when are you going to lose weight" discussion. We have this discussion despite the fact that all of my vitals are VERY normal... BP, heart rate, cholesterol, triglycerides, sugar...all normal. Even SHE is amazed at that, but yet we have the weight loss discussion every single time I go. I've even come right out and said "I'm happy, I'm healthy, I feel good... I DON'T CARE IF I LOSE WEIGHT..... would I like to be thinner??? Yes, but I don't want to be bothered with the effort. I am happy.

It is very frustrating to know that we will continually have these discussions. The same thing happens when I go to my ob/gyn. Same damn discussion every single year. The whole pap smear/gyno exam takes a whopping 10 minutes, but we end up having a 20 minute discussion on losing weight. I just want to say LET IT BE for God's sakes.

And to you Nancy, I say BRAVO for standing up and saying your piece. Good for you. She/He didn't know you from Adam...she had no business getting into that with you. You needed a physical, she gave you the physical... that's what should have been done.

Just know that you have a pal here at Dims who is right there with you.

Originally Posted by NancyGirl74

I started a new job about a month ago and part of being a preschool teacher involves having a physical and receiving a Mantoux test. No biggie. Done it many-o-time before. My employer set up an appointment for me and I went in this afternoon. After waiting (and waiting) I was weighed, blood pressured, and grilled with the usual questions ("Do you smoke, drink, have any cousins with weird moles?) by the nurse. A few minutes later the doctor came in and repeated the questions. Then she asked me very kindly if I was "working on" my weight. I said that yes I was and that it's a constant struggle and blah blah blahbity blah blah. That's when she started to say, "Have you thought about-". Before she could even get the words out I said, "Look, I know you mean well but I've been fat all my life. I've struggled with it all my life and I will for the rest of my life. Yes, I have looked into weight loss surgery and no, I do not feel it is right for me." I went on to tell her that I was about 50 lbs heavier two years ago and that I lost the weight on my own and that I would continue to do so until I feel I need to do something different. And when I was done with my little speech the doctor nodded, smiled, and said, "You'll get there." I'm not sure what that meant but I took it as something positive.

I'm not sure why I feel the need to share this story but I've never quite had an encounter like that with a doctor before. Usually, they push until I'm either pissed or getting emotional. This doctor just seemed to respect that I knew what was best for myself. Like I said, I've never really experienced that before....then again I've never spoken to a doctor like that before either. I usually shut up, pray for it to be over, and leave feeling like maybe they are right until I remember all the reasons why they are not. As least, not for me.

I am not in any way, shape, or form against WLS and if I ever needed to have it for the sake of my health and life I would...It's just not for me at this point and I don't want to feel pressured by someone who doesn't really know me or what I need in life. I went in expecting the pressure and when it started to come my way I was able to head it off. Oddly, enough I don't feel happy or proud for standing up for myself but instead I feel... resigned, I guess. Resigned to the fact that no matter the doctor or how kind he/she may be I will always, always have to deal with the weight questions, suggestions, and advice. This resigned feeling also leaves me a bit sad, though I'm not sure why. Really, it's not new knowledge to me...maybe I'm just not brushing it off or wearing blinders for the first time. Who knows...

Anyway, this is a long aimless sort of ramble but I just felt the need to say it...to put it out there in cyber world and let it become what may.

[Kareda]

So glad you stuck up for yourself and the Dr seemed receptive. I *love* my Dr. A few months ago I could barely breathe- rolling over in bed I was gasping for air. I went in and when talking with him, I brought up my weight and asked if that could be why. He said, "karenda, I know plenty of people even bigger then you that can still breathe when they roll over" I needed steroids to open my airways due to an upper respiratory system. He has NEVER mentioned my weight.

I also changed my OB 6 years ago because the last one said I needed an internal ultrasound due to my weight- since the year prior that caused my miscarriage I has so much anxiety and was referred by a friend to my current one. when I told her what the prev one said she was shocked, rolled her eyes and said that it was bullshit.

There ARE doctors out there that accept you, I wish there was more though!

Hope you can continue your fight and you are no longer afraid to go to the Doctor and speak up!

[imfree]

I've been known to give new doctors my affidavit. We can usually
have an intelligent conversation after he/she gets back up, off the floor. My
beloved friend and doctor "TJ" never even flinched when she read it!

Affidavit With Respect
To Medical Care

I, Edgar A Greene do hereby certify that I

will not hold any medical care-giver responsable for

weight-gain that could occur as a result of my insulin

dosage being increased. I am far more concerned

about the consequences of elevated blood sugar than

weight gain.

I prefer to be heavy. It is part of my sexuality

and body-image preferences. I even prefer women

who are as obese as I am.

Originally Posted by NancyGirl74

Oddly, enough I don't feel happy or proud for standing up for myself but instead I feel... resigned, I guess. Resigned to the fact that no matter the doctor or how kind he/she may be I will always, always have to deal with the weight questions, suggestions, and advice. This resigned feeling also leaves me a bit sad, though I'm not sure why. Really, it's not new knowledge to me...maybe I'm just not brushing it off or wearing blinders for the first time. Who knows...

I'm not sure what I want to say here, Nancy. It's late and I'm tired, but I read your post and felt compelled to respond in some way.

I think most of us fat people have felt that same sense of resignation. But the difference, at least for me, is that the resignation and sadness comes not from the fact that I inhabit a fat body--it's from the fact that, no matter how intelligent or kind or compassionate X person might be in all other aspects of their lives, their opinion of us always seems to be filtered through the 'fat=bad' lens. It is unceasing, something we can never escape from. It's not that we wish to escape from our fat--we wish to escape from such harsh and critical judgment. I mean, how dare we be content with ourselves and our lives as we are. The nerve!

It's one thing to dismiss the casual and cruel remarks from an oafish stranger. The thing about doctors is, aside from any personal feelings about fat that they may have, it is being stressed by the medical community that they have a "responsibility" as healthcare professionals to "educate" their patients about the "dangers" of excess weight. Doctors are just as guilty as anyone else about conforming to expectations of their peers or higher-ups. It would be rare to find a doctor who would assess our conditions from a holistic standpoint and make the determination that some people are just naturally fat and, if they we are healthy in every other way, to just let us be. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, in other words.

I think you handled the situation well, but it seems to me that your doctor adopted a condescending tone with you with her "you'll get there" remark. What is confounding to me is the arrogant assumption of people who believe everyone should think and feel and behave as they do. Just because an opinion is widely held doesn't make it universally right. It's just an opinion.

We shouldn't be made to feel defensive about what to us is a natural state. It's a big, big world out there. Why must we all conform to such narrowly held ideals and beliefs? I find those who choose to live outside the box, who are capable of an independent thought, much more fascinating and often more, dare I say it, humane.

I hope that made some sense.

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

Mike and I went to the Dr's together in early Feb or late Jan. My appointment was first as it was my first UK apointment. I talked a lot about my pcos and needing a specialist cos I want to be a BC but most of them make me bleed like mad...and I would like to see a dietician who knows about PCOS and Insulin resistance...I swear to god if one more person calls me diabetic I'm going to punch them, lol. NOT THE SAME THING PEOPLE!!!

Anyways....I spent about half an hour with the dr...and she didn't mention my size at all...and Im a very big girl and I was ready for the "lose weight or you will die talk"...it never came.

Mike's turn in the hot seat came. LMAO! She grilled him about what he ate and how much he exercised for at least 10 minutes, lol. It was all I could but not laugh at the irony of it all.

As we walked to the car all he could say was "it's bloody not fair" lol. I know why she didn't mention my weight...she couldn't have gave a fuck's fuck if I died...this is the same Dr who didn't bat an eye when I said I thought I had a miscarriage 2 days ago. That whore needs to wake up. Fat people are everywhere....and they will be in her office, relying on her to be professional.

I do have to say however, I enjoyed calling Mike chubby that day, lol. And you all have seen pics....his body is perfect, lol.

[Ruby Ripples]

Originally Posted by BigBellySSBBW

Mike and I went to the Dr's together in early Feb or late Jan. My appointment was first as it was my first UK apointment. I talked a lot about my pcos and needing a specialist cos I want to be a BC but most of them make me bleed like mad...and I would like to see a dietician who knows about PCOS and Insulin resistance...I swear to god if one more person calls me diabetic I'm going to punch them, lol. NOT THE SAME THING PEOPLE!!!

Anyways....I spent about half an hour with the dr...and she didn't mention my size at all...and Im a very big girl and I was ready for the "lose weight or you will die talk"...it never came.

Mike's turn in the hot seat came. LMAO! She grilled him about what he ate and how much he exercised for at least 10 minutes, lol. It was all I could but not laugh at the irony of it all.

As we walked to the car all he could say was "it's bloody not fair" lol. I know why she didn't mention my weight...she couldn't have gave a fuck's fuck if I died...this is the same Dr who didn't bat an eye when I said I thought I had a miscarriage 2 days ago. That whore needs to wake up. Fat people are everywhere....and they will be in her office, relying on her to be professional.

I do have to say however, I enjoyed calling Mike chubby that day, lol. And you all have seen pics....his body is perfect, lol.

Donni, I truly don't believe that your doctor cared more about Mike than you. Don't you think it much more likely that at the size you are, she realised that you have probably had the weight lectures many times and could see that you are clued up about your weight and medical conditions, but perhaps she felt Mike was at his heaviest and she decided to give him a heads-up chat about it. I don't know her agenda, but the way you clearly feel about her, would you really have been happier if she HAD given you the lecture? Wouldn't you feel righteous indignance? If I told my doctor I felt I'd just had a miscarriage, he wouldn't bat an eyelid either, and I like it that way. Doctor's have to stay calm and emotionally detached, however they feel and it must be hard. Do you mean that you think you've had a miscarriage since the ectopic pregnancy? And if so, were bloods taken to see if you had been pregnant - the hormone levels would have still been raised. However... if that is the case, do you feel it would be positive for you to know you did have a miscarriage? I can see this doctor's uncaring attitude appearance has upset you and I'm sorry about that as I know you recently had the ectopic which must have been awfully traumatic. Please just know that doctors are like people anywhere, good, bad and indifferent. Also..as you know, people in the UK don't pay to see doctors, so that usually means overflowing waiting rooms and overworked doctors, resulting in .. in my doctor's case, five minutes alloted per patient appointment. I've never in my life been in with the doctor for more than ten mins. Maybe when you are feeling better she won't seem such an uncaring ogre, but if she does... change doctor, it's your right and you don't have to give a reason. Good luck!

[Ruby Ripples]

Originally Posted by NancyGirl74

I started a new job about a month ago and part of being a preschool teacher involves having a physical and receiving a Mantoux test. No biggie. Done it many-o-time before. My employer set up an appointment for me and I went in this afternoon. After waiting (and waiting) I was weighed, blood pressured, and grilled with the usual questions ("Do you smoke, drink, have any cousins with weird moles?) by the nurse. A few minutes later the doctor came in and repeated the questions. Then she asked me very kindly if I was "working on" my weight. I said that yes I was and that it's a constant struggle and blah blah blahbity blah blah. That's when she started to say, "Have you thought about-". Before she could even get the words out I said, "Look, I know you mean well but I've been fat all my life. I've struggled with it all my life and I will for the rest of my life. Yes, I have looked into weight loss surgery and no, I do not feel it is right for me." I went on to tell her that I was about 50 lbs heavier two years ago and that I lost the weight on my own and that I would continue to do so until I feel I need to do something different. And when I was done with my little speech the doctor nodded, smiled, and said, "You'll get there." I'm not sure what that meant but I took it as something positive.

I'm not sure why I feel the need to share this story but I've never quite had an encounter like that with a doctor before. Usually, they push until I'm either pissed or getting emotional. This doctor just seemed to respect that I knew what was best for myself. Like I said, I've never really experienced that before....then again I've never spoken to a doctor like that before either. I usually shut up, pray for it to be over, and leave feeling like maybe they are right until I remember all the reasons why they are not. As least, not for me.

I am not in any way, shape, or form against WLS and if I ever needed to have it for the sake of my health and life I would...It's just not for me at this point and I don't want to feel pressured by someone who doesn't really know me or what I need in life. I went in expecting the pressure and when it started to come my way I was able to head it off. Oddly, enough I don't feel happy or proud for standing up for myself but instead I feel... resigned, I guess. Resigned to the fact that no matter the doctor or how kind he/she may be I will always, always have to deal with the weight questions, suggestions, and advice. This resigned feeling also leaves me a bit sad, though I'm not sure why. Really, it's not new knowledge to me...maybe I'm just not brushing it off or wearing blinders for the first time. Who knows...

Anyway, this is a long aimless sort of ramble but I just felt the need to say it...to put it out there in cyber world and let it become what may.





PS...I didn't know where to post this so I just stuck it here. If it's not the right place please move it to wherever it works best. Thanks

Hooray for doctors that give us credit for having a brain! That's really nice that she accepted what you said.. my doctor is the best one I've had yet and never comments on my weight unless it directly and clearly is affecting something and even then never in a lecturing way. I was spoken to last year by a Cardiologist who actually had a curled lip sneer on his face and was downright rude. He was even swinging back on his chair as he spoke to me. I told him to sit properly, then on his question about WLS I completely mortified him by showing up his utter lack of knowledge on the different procedures. I knew 100% more than he did about the options, and how the Scottish Executive has laid aside special funding for obesity surgery. He ended up stuttering like an idiot. He SO obviously thought fat = stupid and then he had to change his attitude towards me. I had to have a heart ultrasound and I wondered why the lady holding the scanny thing was so sweet to me, patting my hand etc.. then the Cardiologist barged in and barked "so did you manage to get any sort of image at all?", to which I felt the lady bristle and she said between gritted teeth "absolutely perfect images, no problem at all". When he strutted off I saw her look at the male technician and the pair of them shake their heads at each other. He had obviouly been in before me and told them they wouldnt be able to get a picture ... and in not a nice manner by the way they looked delighted when they did.

Anyway, sorry for MY ramble now lol thats been really my only fat-nasty doctor experience and he was a supposedly highly educated, intelligent person but couldnt even communicate properly with a fat person, so great was his intolerance. So... I can see how much you appreciated this doctor who just gave you credit for doing your own thing your way.

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

Originally Posted by Ruby Ripples

Donni, I truly don't believe that your doctor cared more about Mike than you. Don't you think it much more likely that at the size you are, she realised that you have probably had the weight lectures many times and could see that you are clued up about your weight and medical conditions, but perhaps she felt Mike was at his heaviest and she decided to give him a heads-up chat about it. I don't know her agenda, but the way you clearly feel about her, would you really have been happier if she HAD given you the lecture? Wouldn't you feel righteous indignance? If I told my doctor I felt I'd just had a miscarriage, he wouldn't bat an eyelid either, and I like it that way. Doctor's have to stay calm and emotionally detached, however they feel and it must be hard. Do you mean that you think you've had a miscarriage since the ectopic pregnancy? And if so, were bloods taken to see if you had been pregnant - the hormone levels would have still been raised. However... if that is the case, do you feel it would be positive for you to know you did have a miscarriage? I can see this doctor's uncaring attitude appearance has upset you and I'm sorry about that as I know you recently had the ectopic which must have been awfully traumatic. Please just know that doctors are like people anywhere, good, bad and indifferent. Also..as you know, people in the UK don't pay to see doctors, so that usually means overflowing waiting rooms and overworked doctors, resulting in .. in my doctor's case, five minutes alloted per patient appointment. I've never in my life been in with the doctor for more than ten mins. Maybe when you are feeling better she won't seem such an uncaring ogre, but if she does... change doctor, it's your right and you don't have to give a reason. Good luck!

Nonono this was during the whole ectopic thing. I told her what I thought happened and she didn't ask a single question. As a Dr she should have asked questions, at least given me a pregnancy test etc.

I'm not saying I wanted a lecture, but that combined with the complete lack of care all over, she couldnt have cared less.

And Mike isn't as his heaviest by like 30 lbs

But whatever. I have learned she is very dumb and I will have to do her job for her to look out after my welfare.

I want to change Dr...I have begged Mike...but he can't be bothered since we would have to go a town over.

And as far as time with the Dr...we were both alloted 20min, I can guarentee that. And Mike and together got us 40 minutes.

I realise I have been super fat all my life...that fact alone has given me the super ability to tell when people care about me or not, are talking about me or not, and in general think they are better than me. Generally, I can prove them wrong, but sometimes, people just need an old school back handing.

[Chimpi]

Originally Posted by NancyGirl74

Oddly, enough I don't feel happy or proud for standing up for myself but instead I feel... resigned, I guess. Resigned to the fact that no matter the doctor or how kind he/she may be I will always, always have to deal with the weight questions, suggestions, and advice. This resigned feeling also leaves me a bit sad, though I'm not sure why. Really, it's not new knowledge to me...maybe I'm just not brushing it off or wearing blinders for the first time. Who knows...

That's very understandable for you to feel this way in what has happened, Nancy. It certainly is. Hell, I feel sad for you and every other person that has to go in to see the doctor and every time they do, they get the lecture, the questions, and the pressure. Unfortunately, it's a common practice for doctors, and will no sooner be over than it will get any worse.
But it is good that you said your ... for lack of a better term ... 'peace' with the doctor about the issue. And it is very good that she understood what you were getting at, as well. Maybe she has had many patients like you (well, odds are, she has) and has had the confrontation, or maybe she herself has had to struggle with the issue.
Or, maybe, she is just an understanding doctor. Who knows.
Sometimes, it is healthy to sit, unwind, and think about what has just occurred. But, as difficult as it may seem, I would suggest brushing it off and keep doing what you feel you want to do, because ultimately that is in your best interests.

[bigsexy920]

Thats my girl. .

Some Dr's are just great. It sounds to me like you stated your point and you said that you have been working on it and that you have had success with what you are doing, any good Dr. would see that.

Dr's have to say something about your weight I think. I mean lets face it there are issues that go along with being overweight and they would be foolish not to say something. It would be like a Dermatologist looking at skin cancer on someones nose and not mentioning it.

There needs to be more Dr's like the one you saw. What is his name, maybe I can go see him.

[Ruby Ripples]

Originally Posted by BigBellySSBBW

Nonono this was during the whole ectopic thing. I told her what I thought happened and she didn't ask a single question. As a Dr she should have asked questions, at least given me a pregnancy test etc.

I'm not saying I wanted a lecture, but that combined with the complete lack of care all over, she couldnt have cared less.

And Mike isn't as his heaviest by like 30 lbs

But whatever. I have learned she is very dumb and I will have to do her job for her to look out after my welfare.

I want to change Dr...I have begged Mike...but he can't be bothered since we would have to go a town over.

And as far as time with the Dr...we were both alloted 20min, I can guarentee that. And Mike and together got us 40 minutes.

I realise I have been super fat all my life...that fact alone has given me the super ability to tell when people care about me or not, are talking about me or not, and in general think they are better than me. Generally, I can prove them wrong, but sometimes, people just need an old school back handing.

Yes she should of course have taken your concerns seriously and investigated. Never mind Mike, YOU can change doctor yourself. This site will tell you everything you need to know, and I'm sure you could change Doctor over the phone, I know I did in Scotland. http://www.nhs.uk/england/doctors/ If Mike is happy with the GP then he can stay with her. If you need to see the doctor you can get a cab or a bus worst case scenario.

[Zandoz]

I'm doing the new doctor thing also. As soon as she started in about my weight, I told her "Been there, done that on the diet thing, and it was responsible for a lot of my health issues and at least 1/3 of my current weight". The next thing was "Have you considered more drastic measures?" My response..."Excluded on my insurance, and I can't afford it". End of discussion.

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

Originally Posted by Ruby Ripples

Yes she should of course have taken your concerns seriously and investigated. Never mind Mike, YOU can change doctor yourself. This site will tell you everything you need to know, and I'm sure you could change Doctor over the phone, I know I did in Scotland. http://www.nhs.uk/england/doctors/ If Mike is happy with the GP then he can stay with her. If you need to see the doctor you can get a cab or a bus worst case scenario.

With this country as fat phobic as it is, at least in the south, I have been terrifed of public transport, lol. i've wanted to get on the buses and trains but even Em, who is only about 300 pounds warned me against them. I feel I can't lose weight fast enough to fit in to this society!

However, in the next few months, if I get my way (yeah right, lol) we will have an automatic car and I can tell Mike to buggar off, lol.

[BubbleButtBabe]

Dr. Jerome Groopman has written a book called," How Doctors Think"..In it he described how most doctors make up their mind about a patient in the first 18 seconds of meeting them..He said a lot of doctors will not listen to a patient if the patient has a voice that grates on their nerves,has a personality the doctor does not like or is not the type of patient the doctor wants to see(what ever the hell that means). Dr. Groopman said that is the reason a lot of patients have to keep changing doctors to get good medical care..He blames the medical profession for treating patients so badly..He said students in med school are taught to be scientific about the body and not taught to really listen to what the patient is saying..He said if doctors really listened to the patient then there would not be as big a need for unnecessary test..He said the patients give clues to what is wrong with their bodies..Seems like a good book to read..

[Mikey]

Good for you Nancy!! I wish I had your tenacity and state of mind!

Last summer I went for my annual physical...for the first time in 4 years. After I came off the scale the doctor shook his head, frowned and told me that according to the BMI scale I am obese and that I should do something about it. Criminy...I am 5'10 220...then again when I was 180 I was told that I needed to lose weight as my weight should be 165. Mind you with the exception of slightly elevated triglycerides, I am in great health. At 170 I look like I just got out of a concentration camp. Anyway, I was so shocked, I didn't say anything...guess I am a better advocate for others. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, but didn't. Next time, I will be armed and dangerous!

[chunkeymonkey]

I think everyone should stick up for themselves with their Dr's. When I first moved to the USA I made an appointment for me and my husband to get physicals. The female Dr met with us both and then saw us individually. She took my husband first then me. The interesting thing is she grilled my husband on my weight first before asking me. I have had 2 female Dr's do this to us .I found it very interesting because I think they figured they would go through my husband thinking he would be in favor of a smaller wife. I finally explained to my Dr. that my husband was a FA. That was an ever better response most just think its a control thing or a fetish. But now they don't bother me about my weight unless they have a reason like declining heath issue due to weight.

[Sweet Tooth]

I have a great doctor locally. But when I was living elsewhere for 2 1/2 years, I had to find new people. In one office, the nurse practitioner was "kind" but persistent about me trying Weight Watchers. The doctor was outright rude. I don't know which was worse. All I know was that I came home from the visit with the nurse practitioner feeling unsettled and from the visit with the doctor in tears.

Thank goodness for Dim friends - in this case, Rainy - who I could call and vent to, people who understand all the emotions one goes through just for a simple doctor visit! There are days when, no matter how far along you are in your journey of self- and size-acceptance, you need someone who KNOWS what it's like.

[TallFatSue]

Once upon a time I had a doctor who, if I went for treatment for a headache, would ignore the meteorite lodged in my skull and blame it all on how fat I was. So I found another doctor, and she is terrific, because she doesn't dwell on my weight. Sometimes it comes up, but only when something genuinely has to do with obesity. For the most part, though, she keeps it all in perspective. Maybe one thing that helps is generally I'm in very good health, which is more important than ever as I push 50. I've told her that I'm fully aware that obesity carries certain health risks, so I make sure to watch myself and have regular checkups. She in turn has said that I'm healthier many of her thin patients, who assume they're healthy simply because they're thin, and therefore abuse their bodies or simply don't take care of themselves. She has told me that yes I'd probably be much better off without a few hundred pounds of extra body fat, but she doesn't want to drive me away, nor her other fat patients, because that would be counterproductive. For me it's all about quality of life. I can lead a rich fulfilling productive life, or I can lose weight by starving myself for the rest of my days. I cannot possibly do both. So, I choose to follow a program of informed fat management, and my doctor is wise enough to make sure that it works for me. We both also know that a positive attitude is sometimes the best medicine.

[imfree]

Originally Posted by TallFatSue

Once upon a time I had a doctor who, if I went for treatment for a headache, would ignore the meteorite lodged in my skull and blame it all on how fat I was. So I found another doctor, and she is terrific, because she doesn't dwell on my weight. Sometimes it comes up, but only when something genuinely has to do with obesity. For the most part, though, she keeps it all in perspective. Maybe one thing that helps is generally I'm in very good health, which is more important than ever as I push 50. I've told her that I'm fully aware that obesity carries certain health risks, so I make sure to watch myself and have regular checkups. She in turn has said that I'm healthier many of her thin patients, who assume they're healthy simply because they're thin, and therefore abuse their bodies or simply don't take care of themselves. She has told me that yes I'd probably be much better off without a few hundred pounds of extra body fat, but she doesn't want to drive me away, nor her other fat patients, because that would be counterproductive. For me it's all about quality of life. I can lead a rich fulfilling productive life, or I can lose weight by starving myself for the rest of my days. I cannot possibly do both. So, I choose to follow a program of informed fat management, and my doctor is wise enough to make sure that it works for me. We both also know that a positive attitude is sometimes the best medicine.

AMEN!, Sue, sounds to me that your doctor could be TJ's sister,
if not biologically, at least in spirit! Thanks for blessing me.

[Jane]

If you ladies would just take up smoking, you'd find a whole new discussion to have with your doctor. The weight thing is hardly mentioned compared to the YOU MUST STOP SMOKING. (No, I did quit smoking for seven years and decided it was not for me.)

My suggestion: Get worse habits.....

[Zandoz]

Originally Posted by BubbleButtBabe

He said a lot of doctors will not listen to a patient if the patient has a voice that grates on their nerves,has a personality the doctor does not like or is not the type of patient the doctor wants to see(what ever the hell that means).

I've just been through this scenario. It took several days to find a doctor willing to take me on when told about my size and multiple health issues. Responses ranged from not returning multiple calls, to one that actually wanted me to write a paper on my current health status, and submit it with my full medical records, and then he would be so gracious as to CONSIDER accepting me as a patient. Luckily my wife was the one that spoke to that one, or I'd have told him to perform a very delicate procedure involving inserting his stethoscope where the sun don't shine.

[truebebeblue]

Originally Posted by BigBellySSBBW

With this country as fat phobic as it is, at least in the south, I have been terrifed of public transport, lol. i've wanted to get on the buses and trains but even Em, who is only about 300 pounds warned me against them. I feel I can't lose weight fast enough to fit in to this society!

However, in the next few months, if I get my way (yeah right, lol) we will have an automatic car and I can tell Mike to buggar off, lol.

I would really love to talk to you about your experiences in the UK beng fat.
I am involved with an englishmen and he has told me southern england is bad for fatties but he is thin... I would really like to hear some first person experiences! Maybe this has already been talked about? direct me to a thread?
thanks!!!
True

[BeautifulPoeticDisaster]

Originally Posted by truebebeblue

I would really love to talk to you about your experiences in the UK beng fat.
I am involved with an englishmen and he has told me southern england is bad for fatties but he is thin... I would really like to hear some first person experiences! Maybe this has already been talked about? direct me to a thread?
thanks!!!
True

I would glady tell you what you want to know, lol....just ask me questions. Start a thread or PM me...there are quite a few of us UK girls around....but I'm the only American and the onlyone over 500lbs. Make a thread of your questions and I'm sure we would all share our stories. There are other threads I have started about my misery here, lol, but I can't be bothered to find them.

[Still a Skye fan]

Bravo, Nancy!

Your Doctor sounds like a decent person, too.


Dennis