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Old 04-07-2007, 05:50 AM   #26
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Posts on a board are merely posts on a board. We can't see each other or know the inflections or nuances of the personality. It's quite possible you or I could post something and the post will be completely misinterpreted and inflame tempers. It's happened to me on here more times than I care to remember. I try not to take it personally. If someone is angry or hurt it's not up to me to tell them how they should feel about me. All I can do is clarify myself if necessary and hope for the best. But if after all the clarification and restatements someone still doesn't like my opinion, what can I do? No one expects anyone here to change for them, we all just want to have our say. It stands to reason that once or twice somebody isn't going to like it.

You got your rookie scar Ekim, welcome to the club. I hope this hasn't soured you against posting again. You seem a nice enough fellow. We could use more of them around here.
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Old 04-07-2007, 12:11 PM   #27
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I'll start posting again when my new fear of pressing the "Submit Reply" button goes away. If the policy of welcoming infrequent posters to the board is haranguing them, then you guys should really have that in writing somewhere. 'Cause this was...unpleasant to an unneccessary degree. Alright, I've said my piece. *hides again*

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Old 04-07-2007, 12:15 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by Ekim View Post
I agree. I'm taken, but when I was imagining the "dream girl" or whatever, I usually had more of a personality type in mind; physical stuff can be important too, but I usually didn't involve that until I had a particular girl in mind. Wow, my love life sounds like a spreadsheet.
Frankly, I didn't see anything wrong with this. The guy was just giving his perspective.
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:25 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by Tina View Post
Frankly, I didn't see anything wrong with this. The guy was just giving his perspective.
Bagalute's the guy everybody was really after. Ekim just got in the way. Bag's post was just worded very badly.

EDIT: ManOWar had just poured out his heart with this beautiful stunning love letter. It was as if some guy was eating potato chips and offering critiques during a violin concerto.
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Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

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Last edited by LillyBBBW; 04-08-2007 at 10:44 AM. Reason: Further addition.
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Old 04-08-2007, 11:16 PM   #30
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Mmmm...potato chips....pizza....
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Old 04-09-2007, 04:27 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
Bagalute's the guy everybody was really after. Ekim just got in the way. Bag's post was just worded very badly.

EDIT: ManOWar had just poured out his heart with this beautiful stunning love letter. It was as if some guy was eating potato chips and offering critiques during a violin concerto.
I understand, Lilly, but I guess I just don't see it as a reason to get so upset, particularly when you have posters from varying countries, cultures, and such. English not being one's first language can have an effect, too. I dunno, it just seems like an overreaction to me.

Jay, will you share? Especially the pizza.
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Old 04-09-2007, 08:44 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by Tina View Post
I understand, Lilly, but I guess I just don't see it as a reason to get so upset, particularly when you have posters from varying countries, cultures, and such. English not being one's first language can have an effect, too. I dunno, it just seems like an overreaction to me.

Jay, will you share? Especially the pizza.
You ever open a bag of chips and start talking during a violin concerto? Bag got off easy. I've seen entire paragraphs in music reviews devoted to the person whose cell phone went off during the 'Nymphs Water Dance' or the lady who wore a huge yellow hat and matching lemon yellow suit on the first balcony. Stuff like that is like a bucket of ice water when people are really enjoying something. A little uptight maybe but not unusual.

And I've been thinking about a bag of potato chips for almost 24 hours now.
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Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

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Old 04-09-2007, 08:51 AM   #33
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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
You ever open a bag of chips and start talking during a violin concerto? Bag got off easy. I've seen entire paragraphs in music reviews devoted to the person whose cell phone went off during the 'Nymphs Water Dance' or the lady who wore a huge yellow hat and matching lemon yellow suit on the first balcony. Stuff like that is like a bucket of ice water when people are really enjoying something. A little uptight maybe but not unusual.

And I've been thinking about a bag of potato chips for almost 24 hours now.
The scene: Broadway. The play: Long Day's Journey Into Night. The monologue: Philip Seymour Hoffman--all alone on stage, full of existential angst, a product of a severely dysfunctional family riddled with alcoholism, and

*ring*ring* comes the cell phone from one of the front rows of the audience! For this, I paid $160?
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Old 04-09-2007, 09:08 AM   #34
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I was a chorus member in a symphonic performance of the Berlioz Requiem. The maestro starts the orchestra on the pianissimo entrance and a cell phone in the front row goes off. The maestro stops the orchestra and stands up straight waiting for the guy to turn the phone off while the audience rustles and growls in disapproval. Things quiet down and the maestro begins again, and the SAME CELL PHONE goes off. The maestro stops and turns to glare at the audiance member while the rest of the audience roars in anger.

Later in the same performance during the last movement somebody elses cell phone went off. Cell phones are a huge pet peeve of concert goers. Some theaters have talked of installing scramblers that interfere with cell phone reception during performances. I think it's a brilliant idea.
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"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

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Old 04-09-2007, 10:05 AM   #35
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Cell phones are a huge pet peeve of concert goers. Some theaters have talked of installing scramblers that interfere with cell phone reception during performances. I think it's a brilliant idea.
Not a bad idea, the whole scrambler thing. You would still think that theatre and concert goers would at least have the decency, common sense and consideration for the performers (and their fellow patrons) to either turn off their phones, set them to vibrate or silence, or just leave them at home! How are people not getting this?

Personally, I keep my phone on vibrate pretty much all the time, for the purpose of avoiding a situation such as this. Even when I'm on a train or in a restaurant and I hear someone's loud-ass cell phone ringing I find it pretty annoying (especially if its some really stupid "ringtone." Ugh!) It just seems so unecessary!

Ok, just had to add my two cents.
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Old 04-09-2007, 10:36 AM   #36
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Even now since most theaters put up on projector screens in the hall a reminder for patrons to turn off their cell phones before the start of the performance and STILL sometimes you hear bleeping and beeping during concerts.

My phone plays "It's Like That" by RunDMC, so if mine went off that would really suck. I just turn mine off before I enter the building.


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Not a bad idea, the whole scrambler thing. You would still think that theatre and concert goers would at least have the decency, common sense and consideration for the performers (and their fellow patrons) to either turn off their phones, set them to vibrate or silence, or just leave them at home! How are people not getting this?

Personally, I keep my phone on vibrate pretty much all the time, for the purpose of avoiding a situation such as this. Even when I'm on a train or in a restaurant and I hear someone's loud-ass cell phone ringing I find it pretty annoying (especially if its some really stupid "ringtone." Ugh!) It just seems so unecessary!

Ok, just had to add my two cents.
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Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

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Old 04-09-2007, 12:17 PM   #37
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My phone plays "It's Like That" by RunDMC, so if mine went off that would really suck. I just turn mine off before I enter the building.
OMG! I love that jam! You don't even know... that was like my theme music back in the day! I take it back, Lilly... if I was in the theatre and I heard your phone, I would stand up on the seat and start pop-lockin'!
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Old 04-09-2007, 12:20 PM   #38
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Personally, I keep my phone on vibrate pretty much all the time, for the purpose of avoiding a situation such as this.
Yay for smart people! I do exactly the same thing.
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Old 04-09-2007, 12:25 PM   #39
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You ever open a bag of chips and start talking during a violin concerto? Bag got off easy. I've seen entire paragraphs in music reviews devoted to the person whose cell phone went off during the 'Nymphs Water Dance' or the lady who wore a huge yellow hat and matching lemon yellow suit on the first balcony. Stuff like that is like a bucket of ice water when people are really enjoying something. A little uptight maybe but not unusual.

And I've been thinking about a bag of potato chips for almost 24 hours now.
I could go for some chips, too.

I still don't see it as the same thing. Yes, it was somewhat graceless, but not rude on the level of your example of chips at a performance. It was just simple disagreement, and not posted in a nasty way. You post something on a message board, you're going to get feedback. I suppose the OP could have asked that no one disagree with him, and maybe then there would have been the opportunity for people to know that the poster just wants others to appreciate his post and not disagree or post varying opinion, even if amicably.
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Old 04-09-2007, 01:15 PM   #40
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Manowar:

Much as I don't want to sound like a follower of Rush Limbaugh, all I can say is "ditto!"

Your post was awesome and I can really identify with it. I too am an FA who has been on a journey surrounding what I think is the "ultimate" woman.

(Because of all the messages that followed Manowar's original post, I want to insert the caveat that I am only talking about what I find visually attractive. Obviously there is a lot more than the body that attracts me to a woman. I would not enjoy a relationship with a woman who was terrific eye-candy but who was totally vapid or who had a negative personality. Similarly, I can - and have - enjoyed relationships with women who look differently from what I will describe below as an "ideal.")

I have been attracted to BBWs as long as I have had a sexual interest in women (somewhere in my "tween" years they stopped being yucky). I too originally found smaller BBWs more attractive. I wonder to a certain degree whether that has to do with the BBWs you meet and who are of your age group. I remember when I was in my late teens, I thought 30 was awfully old and, while I didn't find women (generally - not just BBW) in their late 20's/early 30's unattractive, they didn't hold much interest for me and I didn't find them anywhere near as beautiful as I do now in my early 30's. Also, while I know now that there are teenagers who are SSBBWs, I didn't know any growing up and perhaps that is why my "ideal" was a smaller BBW when I was younger (i.e., any SSBBW I saw was much older than me).

As I have aged, so has my preference for SSBBWs appreciated to the point where my preference is now in the 400+ lbs. range. I attribute this mostly to expanding my horizons (pardon the pun). I found BUF magazine in my early 20s and for the first time found out that I was not alone in my preference (I cannot emphasize enough how major a step that was for me in accepting my preference). And I got to see (I mean in "real life") some really attractive, very large BBWs. I also got to know SSBBWs in my age group. Funnily enough, I too have a preference for shorter (5'-5'5") SSBBWs like you, Manowar. Why is this? Who knows! Only thing I can think is that maybe a shorter SSBBW looks fatter. (Certainly 300 lbs is a lot bigger on 4'7" than 5'9" - I have dated woman both these heights and similar weights.)

My preference for distribution of fat has remained pretty much the same over the years: I am a pear man, and I love fat legs (especially the calves). That said, I have become a much greater admirer of bellies as I have aged. I used to barely notice them (they were nice, but not of particular interest to me); now they are an area of the woman that I really love (perhaps the biggest turn on even). Belly rubbing is probably my favorite form of foreplay now, which is a big change from my earlier years as well. (That said, I am a sucker for massaging fat anywhere on a BBW!) My views on cellulite and stretch marks have also changed over the years. I used to find them unattractive, whereas now I think they are beautiful in their own right. On the other hand, large breasts used to be a major focus for me. Don't get me wrong, I still find them alluring, but they are not all that important in what I find sexy. (And like you, I am not expecting them to be as perky as I would have in my youth.)

Finally, I want to say how well you put it when you said that "there was something primal that supersize women evoked in [you]." That really hits the nail on the head of how I feel if I see a truly beautiful SSBBW. While I find women of all sizes beautiful, their beauty doesn't hit me like a ton of bricks in the same way that I feel when I see a big, confident SSBBW. I don't know whether it is a rush of adrenaline or what it is, but it comes over you in a wave and evokes feelings of appreciation that words cannot describe.

Kudos for your post, and I hope that other FAs can share their experience as well.
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Old 04-09-2007, 03:08 PM   #41
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... if I was in the theatre and I heard your phone, I would stand up on the seat and start pop-lockin'!
ROFLMAO!!!! Thanks for that visual. For the first time since I bought it I'm glad my phone has a camera. hehehe!
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Have you hugged a fat girl today?

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Old 04-09-2007, 03:29 PM   #42
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If I may take a monment to weigh in on this subject:

At the risk of sounding like Bobby Hill's soccer coach, I think you're all right in some ways. Clearly, we all have certain physical ideals, prefferences, standards, what have you, that attract us to certain people. (Lilly, I loved your example of proposing to the elderly woman with whooping cough; great imagery. ) I think the original poster did a marvelous job of illustrating for all of us not only his own ideals, but also how those ideals have grown and changed over time as he has matured. I think that many of us FAs can identify with the notion of an ever evolving sense of fat admiration.

Of course, not all of our interests lie in merely the physical. I think it should kind of go without saying that we all would like our "ideal woman" to have a good personality that we feel is compatable with our own. Maybe its kind of sad that we need to go out of our way to mention this, but fair is fair, it's the truth and there's nothing wrong with tellin' the truth.

One thing to maybe keep in mind, is that clutching on to our "ideals" too tightly can potentially be detrimental to our own happiness. That is to say, sometimes we can draw a mental image so vividly in our minds of this picture perfect person we want to find in our lives, that we blind ourselves to the dozens (if not hundreds) of potential mates that pass us by each day because they somehow fall short of that image we hold. Now I'm not pointing any fingers in any directions or accusing anyone here of anything, merely pointing out that in real life there are no "perfect" or "ideal" human beings. It is indeed a rare thing (if it ever happens at all) that we will find someone who litterally encapsulates ALL of the qualities that we long for in a mate. Most of the time you have to pick and choose, prioritize, decide what you can live with in a person, and what's gonna send you back out to the field to keep on looking.

Yes, we all have our "ideal mate" that lives in our hearts and minds, and once in a while, if we're lucky enough, we may actually catch a glimpse of them in the person sitting across from us. Those ideals can change and evolve as we go through life, sometimes in surprising ways. Opening up our hearts and minds and allowing people in, allowing ourselves to love and be loved, wholly and truly, sometimes we can find love in places we never even dreamed of. I believe this to be true.
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Old 04-10-2007, 08:17 AM   #43
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tina View Post
Jay, will you share? Especially the pizza.

SHARE?!
Don't call me scrawny and then expect me to share...

Oh, the things I do in the name of Fat and my admiration thereof. *scoots greasy pizza across table*
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Old 04-10-2007, 09:05 AM   #44
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Hey! When did I call you "scrawny," buddy, eh?

Yum!

I really like what you had to say LJ, and find it to be true for me, too. Sometimes, we don't know who our truly 'ideal mate' is until we experience him or her.
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Old 04-10-2007, 02:25 PM   #45
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*opening another bag of chips for those who like*

Once again: What I was referring to when saying "I disagree" was only the part which I actually quoted. In fact, it is the only part you can disagree with since everything else was the OP sharing his experiences/preferences...maybe I should have stated that more explicitly...it seemed obvious to me.

What probably got me started in the first place was the use of an "everyone's got..." phrase. I guess I just don't like these . About the whole "mental picture" issue: Of course we could endlessly discuss on that on a philosophical/semantical level. What is a picture? How well defined does a thing have to be to count as a picture? For me the dualistic view of people who have a rather well defined image of their "ideal mate" versus those who don't makes sense. Milan Kundera (in his wonderful book "The Unbearable Lightness of Being") is with me on this one btw. I think this has been discussed by famous psychologists as well but I might be wrong.
If you think that characteristics like being female, having either blond, brown, red or black hair, either blue, green, brown, grey or different colored eyes, either short or long hair, weighing between 220 and 425 pounds, having a black, white, brown, red or yellow skin color, being either pear, apple or hourglass shaped and being 19 to 35 years old (as it is in my case roughly speaking - not to mention the non-physical qualities) still match up to something like a mental picture that's fine with me. I'd call it something else. An artist with orders to draw a picture of Barbie or let's say one of the Big Cuties ladies would do his job. But I doubt he could draw a picture of a woman with the characteristics I mentioned above since the information is too vague to create a well defined image.

Having said that, I'll try to get back on topic a little by giving my two cents to the initial post rather than to the one small bit I quoted:
The "stages of FA-dom" I have experienced so far are rather changes in the preferred shape than in a certain weight or age. As for the weight I guess it has even gone down a little, as I was rather fascinated/curious by the very heavy SSBBW's when I started checking out pics (I was 16 at that time, 23 these days) which seems to have lost some of its "magic" by now. I also used to be focused on large bellies and breasts but nowadays I appreciate all kinds of BBW shapes
Apart from that, my taste in women hasn't changed much since I realized I was a FA at the age of 12 or 13. But then again I am still young, so who knows? ^^
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:11 PM   #46
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*takes some chips from Bagalute*

Okay, see... there's one small flaw in your argument. ManOWar says this:

"*When I was 14, possibly younger, I formed the "ideal woman" in my head. I knew she would be short---like around 5'3---and fat, like over 200 pounds. No specifics. Just "fat" and "short". Everyone's got their mental picture of "ideal mate", and that was mine."

Aside from saying he liked his women short and over 200, no other specifics or characteristics were given. Ask 200 artists to draw a short fat woman over 200 pounds and you will have 200 different women bearing no resemblance save for their approximate height. What you described was nearly the same except for the height issue.
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:24 PM   #47
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What kind of chips? and do you have dip?
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:30 PM   #48
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Did I hear dip?

(Yes. I can hear dip.)
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So ... yeah.
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Old 04-10-2007, 05:38 PM   #49
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This one looks like sour cream and onion, the other lookes like garlic and chives.
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Old 04-10-2007, 07:27 PM   #50
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*has nothing to add, but brought brownies*
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