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Old 07-06-2007, 08:00 AM   #301
Ned Sonntag
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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
...But they are holding out hope for the right one to come along, they've dreamt of it since childhood. It's not a deliberate attempt to harm anyone or demean anyone, just a very strong and very sad desire that will probably never be fulfilled.
Oh I dunno about that; I got EXACTLY what I wanted and it's more like 'careful what you wish for...'
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Old 07-12-2007, 08:27 PM   #302
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I'm a FA and a mild feeder, nothing serious. Sometimes, I wish I NEVER had that feeding fetish because I don't want to hurt a woman with too much weight gain. I can never understand why it came up in the first place. I'm happy being a FA, but not the feeding part. I've tried to find ways to get away from that feeling, it seems it's part of me and it will never go away. It's like that fetish is chasing after me and I can't get away from it. It's not fun sometimes, I can feel very sad about that.

Have anyone successfully kept the feeding fetish behind for years? Who knows?
STOP RUNNING!

You're running in circles. Feeder fetish is not a possessing demon that will force you to cripple and deform. It's part of you. You are running from yourself. Accept it as a valid and true facet of your identity.

You won't hurt a woman with weight gain, for a start because you can't make her gain weight. Even if you conciously choose to fatten a woman against her will, something you know to be wrong, you can't truly force somebody to become fat any more than you can make them turn skinny. You can make it difficult for a woman to maintain or lose weight, that's all, and you have as much control over your feeding behavior as you do your own arms and legs.
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all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
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Old 07-13-2007, 10:40 AM   #303
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STOP RUNNING!

You're running in circles. Feeder fetish is not a possessing demon that will force you to cripple and deform. It's part of you. You are running from yourself. Accept it as a valid and true facet of your identity.

You won't hurt a woman with weight gain, for a start because you can't make her gain weight. Even if you conciously choose to fatten a woman against her will, something you know to be wrong, you can't truly force somebody to become fat any more than you can make them turn skinny. You can make it difficult for a woman to maintain or lose weight, that's all, and you have as much control over your feeding behavior as you do your own arms and legs.
Thanks for the advice. That's what I needed to hear.
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Old 08-06-2007, 08:22 AM   #304
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Default How Do We Define "Feeder/Feedee"?

I am new to this forum having gained weight fairly recently while in a relationship. When we first started dating, I was and had been all my life, rather lean and she was too and still is to this day even after my weight gain. At the time that I was "gaining," I had never even heard of the terms "feeder" and "feedee." But when I came here, at first, the terms seemed to fit my girlfriend and I simply based on the words themselves.

On person ("feeder") feeds another person ("feedee") with the agreed upon purpose of making the "feedee" gain weight. I had not even taken the term "feed" literally (as in actually putting food into someone's mouth by some means), but rather I thought of "cooking for" someone as "feeding" them.

This would be to the liking of both parties, but perhaps somewhat more to please the "feeder" with the "feedee" even being indifferent as long as it pleases the feeder. To the extent that it generally occurs in the context of a "romantic" relationship (I assume), it is akin to the feedee agreeing to doing something to make his or her "significant other" happy. Although certainly not if it was contrary to the feedee's wishes.

In my case, I had unintentionally gained a bit of weight and found that I did not mind, but worried that my girlfriend might. If she had been indifferent, with no preference either way, I probably would not have gained more or certainly not intentionally gained as much or as rapidly as I did.

So I did not mind, and kind of liked, gaining weight, but mostly my girlfriend preferred it and asked if I would not mind gaining much more. I had no problem with it, so I agreed simply to "cater to" her desires and make her happy as much as anything else. But this was not her "controlling me" any more than a guy shaving his beard if his girlfriend prefers it as long as the guy does not really much care one way or the other. I wanted to please her, but it was always my choice to make.

But after reading a sampling of postings on this thread (there are too many to read them all. Sorry.), I am not sure WHAT those terms mean anymore or whether they could possibly apply to my experience with my girlfriend.

I'm SO confused.

She loves to cook and soon began cooking for us (I guess more for ME) very early on. When I would ask if she would not rather go out for dinner more often or even have ME cook once in a while, she said, "Don't be silly. I love finally having someone else to cook for." She also commented that it helped to have me around to eat all that she cooked so that she would not eat too many leftovers. She definitely did not want to gain weight herself.

Before long, her generous nature and great culinary skill had me eating quite a bit more than I ever had before and I started gaining a few pounds. She did not seem to mind and kept cooking as usual so I kept eating as usual.

Eventually, she worked-up the nerve to just come right out and tell me that she LIKED my added weight and even wanted me to gain more. She asked if I would not mind if she cooked for me more often with the goal of putting more weight on me. I happily agreed, since she seemed so pleased with my new girth, and we both went to work "fattening me up."

She cooked much more for me to eat. I ate all that she cooked. And I gained weight quite rapidly and with her strong encouragement as well as appreciation for my ever increasing size and weight. So she was cooking for me and, I suppose you could say, "feeding" me. I was eating what she cooked or "fed" me, and it was all done with the clear and expressed purposes of making me gain weight.

But I am talking here about having gone from having been rather lean, with a completely flat stomach, to having become fairly "puffy," "softer," and "rounded" all over as well as having grown a fairly large, round belly. I always continued to exercise and certainly never had any "mobility" or even health issues. And we certainly never had any intention of going very much beyond where I "ended-up" and certainly nothing like "immobility."

So did that not make us "feeder and feedee"? One would think so.

But now I read the postings here and get the impression that, to many, the terms "feeder" and "feedee" implies some form of "control" by the feeder over the feedee including, not only (it has been implied) somehow "forcing" continued weight-gain (even if only by emotional "control") and also "control" in the sense of the "feedee" becoming "immobile" and therefore, to some extent, literally dependent upon or "controlled by" the "feeder."

So you can imagine my confusion and how I now wonder whether I should ever have referred to my girlfriend as a "feeder" and myself as her "feedee." We certainly were not those things in the sense that is discussed above.

But then again, can't the sort of thing my girlfriend and I did be described by those terms without all of the more extreme connotations?

As I said, in a sense, she FED me (not literally, but by cooking for me), I ate what she "fed" me, and we did so in order to intentionally make me fatter. I would have thought that "feeder" and "feedee" described our experience, but as I said, now I am not sure what to think.
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Old 08-06-2007, 08:51 AM   #305
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Default Clarification

Sorry to post again immediately after my last posting and sorry if my last posting seemed a bit "snippy" or like I was up on a soap-box, but let me clarify one concern I have over what we mean by the terms "feeder" and "feedee" even if those concerns are a bit self-serving.

As I said, I am new to the forum and have only begun posting recently. In my few postings on other threads, I often describe how I came to gain weight as a result of my girlfriend and I intentionally "fattening me up" once she realized that she liked my initial, unintentional weight gain and asked me if I would be willing to gain more and to let her "help" me to do so.

In those postings, I generally say at some point that she became sort of a "feeder" and I her "feedee" with no idea what such terms meant in the minds of some, or perhaps, many. I now worry how others on the forum may interpret my use of these terms to describe my experience gaining weight while dating my girlfriend.

I suppose I wonder if people will conjure images of her having me strapped to a chair with a tube snaked down my throat as she pours a concoction of weight-gain shake and melted butter down my gullet, all the while, cackling like the Wicked Witch of the North, "Eat, my pretty! Eat and grow FAT for me! Soon you will be SO FAT that I will not even need to strap you down because you will be unable to move. Bwaaa! Haaa! Haa! Ha!"

I know that is probably NOT what people mean by feeder/feedee, but from some of the discussion I have read here, I wonder if that is not the connotation that those terms carry. So I am not even sure whether I should ever, in future postings, use the terms "feeder" and "feedee" to describe the entirely voluntary and, I think, reasonable efforts that my girlfriend and I undertook to intentionally fatten me up once she discovered that she was, very much, an "FFA" who would appreciate a reasonable amount of weight gain on my part.

Also, I do not mean to imply that any form of one member of a "couple" literally "feeding" the other by actually putting food in their mouth as being bad in any way. Very often, my girlfriend enjoyed preparing "hand-foods," such as pastries, and then sitting on her couch or in bed next to me and actually "feeding" me the pastries by hand. She also often "spoon-fed" me ice-cream or chocolate mousse. Of course, this was done more as a kind of "play" and was certainly not the means by which I ate very much of what she cooked for me (or "fed" me).

I'm sure her "hand-feeding" me pastries, ice-cream, and chocolate mousse in such a many contributed to our shared goal of making me grow fatter, but mostly it was done for the fun of it with the vast majority of what I ate being "by my own hand" even if she had prepared the food for me to eat. I just do not want to seem to "lump in" such "play" with the "cartoon-like" description I provided above. I know that many here enjoy "feeding" and being "fed" in such a playful manner and I certainly do as well.

Last edited by newlylarge; 08-06-2007 at 09:03 AM. Reason: Clarification of posting.
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Old 08-06-2007, 09:08 AM   #306
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Originally Posted by newlylarge View Post
.....<snipped>

As I said, in a sense, she FED me (not literally, but by cooking for me), I ate what she "fed" me, and we did so in order to intentionally make me fatter. I would have thought that "feeder" and "feedee" described our experience, but as I said, now I am not sure what to think.
Feeder/Feedee are really broad terms. There are many variations in the way this desire manifests itself from person to person. A significant amount of people experience it similar to what you describe. It was discussed a few pages back that many people prefer the term 'gainer' and 'encourager' but don't be scared off from the discussion because a few people enjoy it beyond the scope of what you and your sweetie find comfortable. There are some who are a bit more than dispassionate about gaining - they actually want to gain, are turned on by it and want to get as fat as possible. Some people are turned on by literally feeding or stuffing but those are not the only desires represented here.

The honest truth is that there are plenty of people here who conjure up images of someone being strapped to a metal table with an avalanche of rice krispy treats raining down on them every time their SO pulls the lever. You most certainly will encounter one or two people who believe that you've somehow been haplessly brainwashed and are in need of a good talking to. Fortunately there are enough people here who know better thanks to this thread. You should definitely read it if you ever have the time. There are some great contributions here, including yours.
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Old 08-06-2007, 09:54 AM   #307
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LillyBBBW,

Thanks for your kind and insightful reply and for helping out a "newbie" like me. I suppose I have to admit that even I could see from the postings I read that the terms "feeder" and"feedee" have a wide variety of interpretations.

Thanks also for your advice of possibly using the terms "gainer" and "encourager" instead. It is interesting, because I had come to think that the term "gainer" was used here to refer to someone who is intentionally gaining weight, but on their own. I suppose that term too has broad meaning.

I suppose also that I was, initially, drawn to using the terms "feeder" and "feedee" (before I realized the more extreme possible connotations) to describe my experience with my "sweetie" because she was doing MORE than encouraging, she was "feeding" me in the sense of "cooking for" me, I was "gaining" primarily as a result of her "feeding" (or "cooking for") me.

I did sort of want to express the fact that my "fattening-up" was a joint effort on both our parts with her taking a very "active" role. More than that, as I said, if she had been indifferent to my weight gain, I would never had become an intentional "gainer" and, while I might have gained some more weight as I already had been, it surely would not have been as much or as rapidly as I ultimately did.

But she was NOT indifferent to my initial, unintended weight-gain. She liked it, she really really LIKED it.

As such, she finally worked up the courage to tell me so and the even greater courage to sheepishly ask me if I would be willing to gain much MORE and to even allow her to "help" me do so by cooking lots more for me to eat.

When I met my "sweetie," I had been rather lean and always had been. When, for the first time in my life, I became even a bit "plump," my wonderful girlfriend not only did not mind, but she "appreciated" it. An actual, in the flesh, FFA. When other women might have told me, "Your getting FAT! You need to go on a diet." My girlfriend accepted my weight-gain and even saw the appeal of it which many women do not.

With her supportive reaction to my new "circumstance," I was very happy to support her in her discovery of her own new "circumstance." She had never known it before, because she had always been with slender guys (including me at first), but she "discovered" that she was, what you call here, an FFA.

I could have been content to remain only "plump" or "chubby," but once I realized her desire to explore her newly discovered "FFA feelings," I was all too happy to agree to let her "help me" to gain more weight. I knew that she would enjoy it, and she did so every step of the way, and I enjoyed seeing and contributing to her pleasure at having a "fat boyfriend" to "appreciate."

But I was in complete control all the while.

So I suppose the reason I wish I could use the terms "feeder" and "feedee" to describe our experience together is because those terms, on their face, seem to imply a "partnership" such as the one we shared.
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Old 08-06-2007, 10:33 AM   #308
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I never really liked the term 'feedee' because in my mind, it conjured up some negative stereotypes according the the way I've heard the term used. Feedee, however, represents different things to different people according to their exposure but really it encompasses a whole lot. I'm still a bit wary of using the term for myself because it leaves so much to the imagination and I'm not sure what pops into a person mind when I describe myself as one. Further explanation is usually necessary even in talking with other feedees and feeders but clearly I belong under that moniker. As I make my way along I'm becoming more comfortable but the term still makes me wince on occasion.

Another reason I'm uncomfortable with it is because for me it is more a personal thing. Putting 'Feedee' in my profile feels akin to putting 'butt sex lover' in there. lol It's like I'm just asking for come ons or that's all I'm about which isn't the case. I tend to be an old lady about that kind of stuff though anyway. I've finally put it out there but believe me, it took a long way to get to this point.

Congratulation on your happiness newlylarge. There are lots of feedees clawing their way though life hoping to find exactly what you and your girlfriend have stumbled upon. Welcome to the boards.
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Old 08-08-2007, 03:31 AM   #309
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Default "Feedee" Placed in Context

Thanks again, LillyBBBW.

I can particularly relate to your comment that, "Putting 'Feedee' in my profile feels akin to putting 'butt sex lover' in there. lol It's like I'm just asking for come ons or that's all I'm about which isn't the case." I suppose that is like my concern that calling my girlfriend a "feeder" might conjure images of someone who wishes to "control" or "dominate" someone by "making" them gain weight.

Perhaps the answer is that the terms "feeder" and "feedee" should be in the context of a relationship that is not based purely on such things as weight or weight-gain as is the case with me and my girlfriend. She "discovered" that she was an FFA and wanted to see me grow from lean to fat, but long before that, we had a wonderful relationship that had nothing to do with that. I was very lean, as I always had been before, when we met and our relationship was in no way based on either of our "sizes."

Perhaps, as you imply, being a "feeder" should not be a "stand-alone" description of a person as if all they want is to find someone to fatten them up and everything else is secondary. Perhaps it should refer to a person who is in a loving relationship who finds that, additionally, their partner also has a preference for seeing them heavier and would like to participate in making that "desire" a reality by "feeding" their partner or, in my case, cooking for them and "encouraging" weight gain.

Likewise, perhaps the term "feedee" should describe a person who finds that their partner wishes to see them heavier, and even wishes to "help" them grow larger, and that (as a feedee) he or she is mostly interested in their partner's desires (as most any member of a couple would be) and is even willing to gain weight with their partner's "help" if that is what is involved.

Perhaps we need a different term to describe someone who has a completely "independent" desire to gain weight by being "fed" by someone else. As I said, my desire to "allow" my girlfriend to "feed" me and make me grow fatter was entirely based upon my recognition that doing so would make her happy. Again, I note that this was not akin to letting her "control" me because I truly did not mind gaining more weight. If I had, I never would have agreed to her request just as I would never expect her to do anything for me that she was not comfortable with.

But if, as in my case, one has a girlfriend who "discovers" that she is an FFA and who asks that one gain weight (perhaps even with her assistance) in order to address her newly discovered preference, then agreeing to be "fed" and to gain weight seems an act of kindness that one would wish to provide to a loved one as long as it does not conflict with one's own desires.

That is why I was all to happy to let my girlfriend "feed" me and make me grow fat. I did not mind and I was glad that I could please her by doing so.

I suppose I wish that this was the connotation that "feedee" and feeder" held.
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Old 08-09-2007, 10:37 PM   #310
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I think the whole realm of feeders and feedees is great and a natural outgrowth in one form or another of being an FA. What the hell is the controversy? FAs desire fat, food maintains and/or increases fat. Pretty simple basics to me, and as far as "feeding" dominance and submission and all the rest of it, that will vary from couple to couple just like everything else. There's way too much over-thinking on some of these threads in my opinion. Keep it simple, because it is.

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Old 08-09-2007, 11:32 PM   #311
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Default Two Different Issues

You make a good point, Russ2d. But my point is merely that it seems the issue of "feeder/feedee" and that of "dominance and submission" are really two different matters.

Certainly, some people combine them, but I dare say that people who are into "dominance and submission" are probably into that independent of their interest in "feeder/feedee" and that the latter is merely one possible way of expressing the former. All I am saying is that it should be possible for people to talk about being a "feeder" or a "feedee" without there being any implication that they might also be into "dominance and submission."

Maybe we need a set of new terms, such as "dominance-feeder/submission-feedee," to describe a relationship where that applies. Accordingly, maybe the terms "feeder/feedee" should be assumed to have nothing to do with "dominance/submission." With due respect to anyone who IS into dominance and submission, I think that those of us who are not would like to avoid any confusion if we use the terms "feeder/feedee."

As you said yourself, Russ2d, "FAs desire fat, food maintains and/or increases fat. Pretty simple basics to me." I agree. That is what describes me and my girlfriend. She desired that I become fat and she "participated" in making that happen by preparing for me the food that "maintains and/or increases fat." ("feeding" me)

It had nothing to do with "dominance and submission" and it simply seems that there should be terms to describe such relationships that clearly distinguish between the two situations. So as I said, perhaps simply "feeding" someone because you prefer them fatter should be described as a "feeder/feedee" relationship. And perhaps feeding someone as part of some form of "dominance and submission" (in addition to promoting weight-gain) should be described as a "dominance-feeder/submission-feedee" relationship. That way, the two cases are clearly distinguished.

Just a "humble proposal" on my part.
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Old 08-21-2007, 03:39 AM   #312
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ann marie ur eyes are so dang pretty

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Old 08-21-2007, 02:14 PM   #313
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ann marie ur eyes are so dang pretty
Thank you very much... very nice of you.

(And I had to remove your signature... please watch that when posting on other boards, it's not allowed. )
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Old 08-24-2007, 08:03 PM   #314
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Hmm. Interesting thread. I've only read about halfway through so far, but I'm gonna post my 2 cents now, and hope I'm not stepping on any toes or repeating what other people have said.

First, a bit about where I stand in this wacky fetish. I'm an FA, and I guess you could say I'm both a feeder and a feedee, though these days I lean strongly towards the latter, and I've never had any real world experience with either of them. Both of these tendencies are colored by my being rather submissive and eager-to-please. I've got other fetishes involving getting bigger in various ways and places, but since this isn't about those particular kinks, I'll leave them out of this.

I'm a feeder, but I'm not an asshole! I'm too much of a desperate loser to afford to be. The idea of making a girl gain(and by making, I don't mean forcing, I mean having a hand in it) is very appealing to me, but isn't some aspect of control and shaping someone to fit my desires. For me, the feedee would probably be in the dominant position, with me catering to their desires for food and fatness, which, considering my particular kink, I'd be more than happy to do. This doesn't seem to be a very common scenario, since people seem to tend towards the idea of the feeder being the one getting all the gratification, while the feedee is 'okay' with it, but pretty much is in an "I'm happy with it because you're happy with it" situation. I'm not fond of this outlook on the fetish, because it seems to assume that nobody would want to be on the recieving end of this treatment, when I'm living proof that it's not the case.

I'm very inclined towards the idea of being a feedee, and not simply out of some desire to please the feeder or to stay in a relationship which people so often seem to consider the case. I find the concept of eating huge amounts of delicious food and getting fatter and fatter because of it extremely enticing, and as I'm admittedly rather lazy(or at least unmotivated), the whole pampering aspect of being waited on by someone else without having to lift a finger is pretty appealing. When I say it like that, it seems kind of self-centered and spoiled, which makes me think that it's ironic how the feedee position tends to be cast in a submissive light. When I visualize someone having another person catering to every want and need, I don't think of the caterer of being the one in control! I know it's not always the case, and people will bring up the idea of the manipulative feeder who uses the illusion of that situation to get his own personal gratification, but the fact is, in most examples outside this community, when someone has people fulfilling their every desire, that person is usually the one who's the boss.

Of course, none of this is set in stone. Being a feeder does have aspects of personal gratification that appeals to me, and beng the eager-to-please type, I'd enjoy the idea that I was making someone else happy by becoming fatter. And I admit, I've entertained fantasies of fattening up another person without their consent or against their will(nobody specific, just the idea of doing it). But I've more often fantasized about being the 'victim' in such a situation, and in all cases, the idea of it happening in real life is downright distasteful. I think the distinction between fantasy and reality is important when you discuss this sort of thing. I'm sure most people have thought of doing things to people they would never ACTUALLY do, so condemning someone for having the thought really isn't fair.

As for all the stories people have posted about feeders who fit the stereotype of being pretty much OBSESSED with a girl gaining weight and losing interest once she stops is very unsettling. The fact that these are the only kinds of feeders you actually hear about makes me wonder, is that because the selfish, manipulative feeder is most common, or is it just because nobody cares about the feeder who's got a successful relationship with a feedee and doesn't take advantage of it. Either way, it seems like revealing that I'm turned on by a girl gaining weight will cause many women to avoid me like the plague and treat me like a serial killer. Which kinda sucks.
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Old 08-26-2007, 09:51 PM   #315
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Here here!

*raises a glass to Korota's name and words of wisdom*
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all we ask is that those without fetishes respect the notion that the vast majority of fetish-havers know how to reconcile their kink with the dangers of reality just as you would assume your next door neighbor is not a pedophile.
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Old 10-19-2007, 03:26 PM   #316
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I've wanted to be really big since I was a child, sometimes even immobile...but as for the immobile part always kept it in perspective, realizing that I really didnt want that, Since I was 18 (now 41) on at least on 10 occasions I have gained a large amount of weight ..example 70lbs in 4months only to suddenly realize for whatever reason to stop and lose it. Now I've often thought that maybe I was crazy or something and may be....lol....but it seems to be the only mental malfunction that I have...lol...seriously I do like eating & being fat ...and would love to weigh 500 lbs but no more, and probobly would had I not lost all the weight I've gained over the years...Im only 300 lbs
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Old 01-12-2008, 01:27 PM   #317
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I'm a feedee and would LOVE to be much bigger than my current weight...I'm married to a feeder who is doing his job well. I've gain 100 lbs. in the last year. He wants me bigger as he is a FA. I want me bigger cause it makes me feel so sexy and beautiful. It's a perfect match. I don't think either of us is manipulating the other at all. We went into this relationship knowing what we wanted. It's one chance in a million that I found him.
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Old 03-10-2008, 09:31 PM   #318
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I too will apologize for not having read the entirety of this thread but I thought I would toss in my 0.02 as well...

Newlylarge, I am on a page very similar to yours... I'm rather new to all of this business and agree with much you've said... Like so many things, it seems to me the problem lies in the definition (or lack thereof in any specificity).

I guess I jumped to conclusions and differentiated between extreme/fantasy feedee/feeder behaviour strictly as fantasy and assumed that most people (gross generalization - sorry!) did too. For me, I guess I would define myself as a feedee in the sense that I like to be fed but perceive it as a more nurturing behaviour and I don't *necessarily* equate it with weight gain although I'm guessing most people do (hence this thread). So, I guess I'm suggesting another category to the ones suggested by Newlylarge! I always get squishier in the winter and I love it (which is why I'm here!) but I definitely have an upper limit in terms of weight gain/muscle loss and would never let anyone dictate that for me. At the same time, I have no problem with people who decide to gain weight and have a partner who is eager to help and whose upper limit is significantly different from mine. I just hope that the control stays where it should for a healthy relationship whether it has to do with weight or anything else. Now, in terms of sexual play vs reality, I think there is a huge difference between someone who is fine with being tied to a chair/bed/etc. and stuffed every so often and someone who is completely submissive 100% of the time and is *not* in control of their body...

Anyway, hopefully this makes sense...! I feel as though I haven't elaborated as much as I'd like... it's late... zzzzzzzz....
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Old 10-01-2008, 10:59 PM   #319
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Feederism is regarded by a lot of people as degenerate, immoral, self-destructive, unhealthy and disgusting.

My response to that: And? So? Your point? What consenting adults want to do with or too each other is nobody else's business. Tell me till your blue in the face to not jump off a cliff to my death, if I'm going to do it I'm sure as hell not going to ask your permission. Feederism gives size acceptance a bad name they'll say. I'll accept you if you'll accept me, why can't you be more accepting? Obese people cost everybody more in health care costs...sorry every long-term study that projected lifetime costs proved that wrong.

Self-important busy-bodies need to stfu and live and let live.
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Old 11-18-2008, 06:08 PM   #320
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People make up there own minds, anybody who looks at Feederism in a negative way is a sefish person. It's like me telling somebody they cant use toys during sex, or watch porno. It's kinda like Gay marriage, you might not agree with it, but if it doesn't effect your life why should wrong for somebdy else to do it.
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Old 01-07-2009, 09:19 PM   #321
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I must apologize for not reading the entire thread, it's very intimidating in length :-P. However, I have to say there is definitely a distinction between a person and a person's sex life. Friends of the opposite sex you may think you know really well can be entirely different when you begin to know them on a sexual/intimate level. And quite frankly, there are a lot of strange and wild fetishes out there. That being said, I feel like feederism should be more accepted, and not as a fetish but as a way of living or as a way of seeing the world an accepting what most people shun and degrade. The fact that this movement is referred to as the "new coming out" is, in my humble opinion, entirely ridiculous. In its nature, it seems to be caring, consensual and highly symbolic. Though, speaking from personal internal turmoils, there are a lot of family pressures to conform to a certain way of being, and a standardized Hollywood image. Though, just watch Wall-e or Bolt and see how society has evolved.
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Old 01-08-2009, 05:53 AM   #322
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I must apologize for not reading the entire thread, it's very intimidating in length :-P. However, I have to say there is definitely a distinction between a person and a person's sex life. Friends of the opposite sex you may think you know really well can be entirely different when you begin to know them on a sexual/intimate level. And quite frankly, there are a lot of strange and wild fetishes out there. That being said, I feel like feederism should be more accepted, and not as a fetish but as a way of living or as a way of seeing the world an accepting what most people shun and degrade. The fact that this movement is referred to as the "new coming out" is, in my humble opinion, entirely ridiculous. In its nature, it seems to be caring, consensual and highly symbolic. Though, speaking from personal internal turmoils, there are a lot of family pressures to conform to a certain way of being, and a standardized Hollywood image. Though, just watch Wall-e or Bolt and see how society has evolved.
I think there is a unique dynamic when you consider a feedee who happens to be fat. Without knowing anything at all about the person the pure sight of them has a majority of people making conclusions about him or her. There is already an element of censure, scorn and misguided concern in many cases - especially on the part of family members. The concept that the family fattie enjoys being that way and that both he and his partner enjoy both the fatness and the gain can be downright terrifying. They will often view the partner as some form of sociopath with a vulnerable relative in their clutches. Family will be far from accepting and the hysteria creates huge problems for both.
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Old 01-08-2009, 11:49 AM   #323
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Definitely. I would say the traditional family represents a great mental obstacle to over.
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Old 02-13-2009, 09:59 AM   #324
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I think there is a unique dynamic when you consider a feedee who happens to be fat. Without knowing anything at all about the person the pure sight of them has a majority of people making conclusions about him or her. There is already an element of censure, scorn and misguided concern in many cases - especially on the part of family members. The concept that the family fattie enjoys being that way and that both he and his partner enjoy both the fatness and the gain can be downright terrifying. They will often view the partner as some form of sociopath with a vulnerable relative in their clutches. Family will be far from accepting and the hysteria creates huge problems for both.
Being just a FA, I have encounter this as well. However I would like to add, that it seems that in the case that the fattie does not have a partner the fattie, is themselves views as being self-destructive.
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Old 03-03-2009, 04:50 AM   #325
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My very first encounter with the world of feederism was in a documentary called Fat girls and Feeders - and I can't lie I was truly upset by what I saw. The female feedee in the doccie came across as unhappy and trapped. She didn't want to gain weight and her partner kept pushing her to do so - he was even building a house with bigger doors etc so that they could move there and she could still move around. To me that was an abusive relationship - I didn't see how it was any different than some men insisting their girlfriends/wives undergo various forms of surgery just to appear physically appealing to them. I have learnt a whole lot about feederism since then and I have since encountered many empowered feedees - men and women who gain the weight because they want to, who have control of when and how and how much they gain. This changed a huge number of my perceptions and I'm thankful that boards like this exist in order to shed a fairer light on topics like this. I have to say thought that I don't think its ok to be unable to move because of your size. I don't think its great to have sores on your body, and pain in you bones and muscles because you're too big. I think gaining to those levels takes something that is fulfilling, sensual and intensely pleasurable and turns it into something unhealthy and disturbingly self destructive. And if I had a family member in that kind of situation, where they couldnt move and were entirely dependent on another person for everything, I would freak out big time.
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