Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Stories Ye Olde Library Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Discussion > Weight Board



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 04-16-2007, 07:38 AM   #151
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SocialbFly View Post
i am going to present an opposite opinion to some expressed here...first of all, let me say one thing....while i really do support free will, we need to talk about it a little....

first of all, this is a general response, there will be some ppl who will say, hey, this is some of what i posted, but it is not in general about you, but you gave me something to think about....ok. so that being said, i hope you will look at this as i am...

first of all, i am a fat woman already, i am 6 ft tall and weigh in somewhere around 460...that being said, my fat never bothered me when i was younger, now here i am 47 and crap...my body is screaming at me to weigh less...i think that is one thing that i think the younger women who are feeders need to realize, that while you are young your body handles things better, i have always been big and strong..but lately, oh for around the past 4 years or so, my body has been very upset and i am trying to listen to it...

yes, i am against Forced feederism....but erotic weight gain is something that is a personal choice (although not one i am into), but to say it is without problems is just a falicy...i am going to compare it to smoking cigarettes, you like to smoke (well, i dont so no screaming about that) you know it isnt good for you, you know it can kill you, or make your life shorter, but you do it anyway....that is how i view erotic weight gain.

that is my opinion to fat, i make a choice every time i put food into my mouth to stay this way...i know if i get on the treadmill (like one of my friends does) or if i get out my walking sticks and continue to watch what i am eating, i will at least maybe lose a little so my back or knees quit whining...i always said when the fat affected me, i would try to lose some of it...but here i am...

so what am i trying to say...

fat is not without its own issues, NO i am not presuming you stupid or that you dont already know that, but i can tell you as a nurse, that if you are ever truly sick, that your care WILL be altered due to your size, and depending on what is wrong with you, you may die simply because you are fat. yes, we choose to live life as a fat person, i dont mind being big and strong, but i hate walking slower at work, i hate limping when i first stand up because my knees hurt, i hate that after i work a HARD 12 hour shift that it takes two days for me to recover....i could go on and on..

why am i telling you this? would i have listened or read this when i was younger, i am not sure...but i know that my fat never bothered me when i was under 40, i was active as heck, biked, did my yard/house stuff, had three big dogs, yada yada yada....

now i am 47 and my back hurts and my knees hurt, i will probably die from a stomach bleed related to all the ibuprofen i take...

sexy isnt it?? hot isnt it??

the 16 year old that i watched die cause he was tooo fat to get a heart transplant sucked...it hurt like hell to watch him die, he was a kind and funny kid...did he deserve to die just cause he was fat?? no, but he did...do i see my beautiful fat nieces every time i think about J??? you bet, they are both that size and god forbid if they ever got a bad cardiomyopathy or something it would be devastating...hot isnt it???

i am not saying you should not do what you want...it is your choice, but to think there is no repercussions is not accurate, no matter if it is a willing choice or not...your young healthy body might just be that right now, but did you notice how many FEWER really fat chicks there are in my age group....

do you think that is just because we want to look good in our swim suits?? no, i promise you, i dont give a fuck about that, but ask me, do i want to be able to walk a couple of miles (even several blocks!), do i want to watch my nieces have kids and do i want to be able to stand and hold them for as long as needed, you bet...

i dont give a rats ass what society thinks anymore (or at least one heck of a lot less than when i was younger), that is one of the blessings of age, but one of the curses of age is a wisdom to understand what is happening in our lives, in our bodies...

that is called reality...and yes, sometimes it sucks.
This is complicated by a larger issue. Once you get to a point where your weight causes you physical pain, exercise is no longer of benefit to you. Exercise such as walking, etc. merely adds more stress to the situation and can sometimes make you worse. You feel so much better if you lie down for a couple of days, then the pain goes away and you can walk again, only for the pain to return and you need another few days off your feet, then you gain more and it's worse and then you're bedridden. You would hope that through this rollercoaster of exercise and injury you can manage to lose weight but sometimes that is not the case. Some get worse before they get better and then it's too late. This I understand from personal experience.

Sports Rehabilitation Specialists always advise against exercise for someone in that position. They will immediately start a person on a weight training regimine. That means going to the gym or the physical therapists office and being worked on machines designed to strengthen muscles. This works. I've seen it, I've lived it. The NFL players you see weighing at 315 pounds and getting horrendous beatings night after night and coming back from injuries time after time live by this mantra. The problem is, once a person reaches a certain weight they may not feel comfortable or even physically able to go to a gym or a personal trainer. I've had difficulty even using such machines because these machines are designed for a person up to 280 pounds sometimes, and the ergonomics won't accomodate a person at 415.

Also these same NFL players suffer serious repercussions from their football days as they get older. Many of them are nearly crippled with arthritus and other regular joint aches sustained from the brutal existence they enjoyed in their professional career. Many have permanent issues with their heart as well and exist on pain killers, surgeries and cortizone shots.

Anyone who believes that a person with the bug to play for the NFL is not fully aware of all of this is misinformed. You can be as passionate as you like and show them the plight of an aged former player and be left scratching your head wondering why they're suiting up and running past you to the playing field as if they just don't get it. The thing is, people like this already know the potential consequences for their actions. I know that many of you who know of which you speak are well meaning but it will make very little difference to someone who is overwhelmed with a desire they can't ignore.
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 09:28 AM   #152
roundbird
 
roundbird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: New Jersey or back on my home planet
Posts: 65
roundbird can now change their title
Default

BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO! Yes you said it very well.
__________________
:eat1: The point of an illusion, after all, is not the content, whatever that may be, but the ingenuity of its conceit and the skill of its execution. (The Prestige)
roundbird is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 09:38 AM   #153
LJ Rock
 
LJ Rock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Boston
Posts: 3,172
LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Choices and consequences… that’s really what it comes down to, doesn’t it? It’s like they used to tell us back in high school; we have the reasoning power to make whatever decisions we feel is in our best interest at the moment, but in the end we are the ones who will have to deal with the repercussions of our actions.

The notion of dealing with something after it has become a problem seems like a problem in and of itself. It seems to me that in regards to health issues, it is often to late to rectify a problem once it starts manifesting itself into visible or tangible physical ailments. Hearing someone say “When my health starts suffering because of my weight, I will deal with it then,” sort of reminds me of a drug addict or alcoholic who says things like “I like to get high, but I don’t have a problem” or “I can stop anytime I want to.” Often these people don’t realize the severity of there situation until it has already had a negative impact on their lives and the lives of those around them, and by that time they are so emotionally and/or physically addicted to their lifestyle choices and behaviors that it really is too late to make a change (at least not without great effort and hardship.)

Old habits are hard to break, especially as it applies to something as personal and essential as the food we put into our bodies. For many of us, our “questionable” eating habits started very young. Going out for a pizza or burger was a treat, and getting candy and snacks were rewards for doing well in school or finishing a household chore. And maybe still for some of us, food was a form of escapism or a coping mechanism. Like a drug, we would steal away and eat in private as a means of shutting out all of the pain, fear and other bad feelings in the world. We learn to associate food with certain feelings, and continually use food to try and recapture those feelings, often to little or no avail. Thus, a pattern develops similar that of the drug addict or alcoholic, where we are constantly consuming more and more of what we desire trying to reach an unreachable high, never quite getting there.

What is truly fascinating is that for some of us here, our minds have found a way to sexualize this behavior. I mean, what is the real the difference between someone with some kind of “overeating disorder” and someone who is practicing “feederism?” Certainly there can be many variances in the severity to which these actions are carried out (i.e., the couple who playfully feeds each other spoonfuls of pudding as opposed to the person who single-handedly and compulsively devours everything in site.) But it would seem to me that it is primarily the eroticized reaction to such behavior that makes the difference. What for some is a horrifying and uncontrollable scourge on their lives, the seemingly endless pattern of overeating and gaining weight, for others still is a joyous and sexually thrilling experience.

Maybe this is all just a matter of perspective. After all, the entire size acceptance movement is based around defying the societal norms of what a healthy and normal body looks like. Maybe to some degree, feederism and intentional weight gain is an extension of this concept; going beyond a mere acceptance of fat and embracing a LOVE for fat and the behaviors that allow us to become fat. (I suspect there will be many officials in the size acceptance movement who would take exception to such a statement, confirming my ideas that there is a vast difference between the notions of “fat-acceptance” and “fat-admiration.” But I digress.)

Another fascinating aspect that has come to my attention from reading these posts: what is it exactly that makes some people “feeders” and others “feedees.” We’ve exhausted the discussion about typical predatory abusive males and female victims in my opinion (while this may be true in some cases, I don’t believe it to be the norm.) What is fascinating to me is how for some people their love of fat manifests itself in their own self-image, and for others it is mainly relegated to the admiration of fat in others. I thought of this when reading HeatherBBW’s post where she talked about growing up and wondering what it was like to be fat and get fatter, wearing big clothes and stuffing them to look bigger (what we commonly refer to as “padding” around here.) I used to do and think about these same things as a kid as well; I think a lot of FAs used to do this. What makes us all do it exactly? Who really knows… but what I am curios to know: where was the splitting point that made someone like her say “I want to be fat” and someone like me say, “I want to have a fat girlfriend?”

Granted, I was never really an “overweight” child. I went through some fluctuation in my weight growing up, as all children do. There were times in early childhood and into puberty where I went from being fairly average in size to slightly “chubby” and by my teens I was downright skinny! It hasn’t been until much more recently that my weight has really started to creep up on me, and I am somewhat concerned about it. Maybe if I had been heavier growing up, my sexualized perception of fat and weight gain would have been more internalized and applied to myself, as opposed to being aroused by the weight gain of my female peers.

That is to say, maybe instead of being an FA/feeder looking at BBW, I would have become the BHM/feedee looking for a FFA to “fatten me up” even more! lol Who can really say for sure? All I do know is that I do derive a lot of pleasure from eating and from being fed, as well as seeing others eating and being fed and gaining weight. I don’t know why exactly, I didn’t ask for it… it is something I’ve always been aware of my whole life, and I don’t see it changing anytime soon. But maybe, just maybe, I need to start thinking about making the effort to change… at least a little bit. At least to the point where I am not allowing my fantasies and erotic desires to control me and to affect the way I live my life, but rather I am in control of them and can keep it all in check.

I think that for nearly all of us, we like to feel like it is one of our basic and inalienable rights to choose what we want to eat and how much we want to eat. Exercising this control is one of the few things we have in life that is our and ours alone, and no one can really tell us otherwise. Sure, maybe deep down we know it isn’t right to eat a whole pizza in one sitting, or an entire bag of chips or whatever. Maybe we know that we need to eat more leafy green vegetables and whole grains and less meats or processed and fried foods, and that we should get out and get some fresh air and regular physical activity. But it is our decision to choose to do otherwise, for better or for worse, and we must deal with whatever consequences follow as a result of those choices.

Lastly, I just want to reiterate that my posts in this thread are in no way intended to be condemning or judgmental in any way. Like I said before, I am not trying to cast any stones or ruin anyone’s fun, I’m just trying to keep it real. Also, while I tried to go through and read a lot of the posts in this thread, I was unable to read them all. So if there is anything I have written here that is any way redundant or has been previously addressed, I apologize.
__________________
Peace and love,
LJ Rock
LJ Rock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 10:05 AM   #154
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

A normal person thinks:
"My God, I'm crippled for life! I'll never walk again, I'll be on medication for the rest of my life, I'll never have children. Oh the humanity! How could I have let this happen to myself. If only I had known...... "
A feedee thinks:
"Oh my God, I'm crippled. It's finally happend. My career is over. I'm never going to reach my goal. " ( Withdraws quietly into the shadows connected to an oxygen pump, staring down at an old photo of themself at their peak weight and caressing the image lovingly ) "Maybe if I'd gone a little slower...."
Your anxiety about them not grasping the concept is wasted.
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 10:09 AM   #155
SamanthaNY
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,052
SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

And what does the feeder in that scenario think?
SamanthaNY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 10:13 AM   #156
LJ Rock
 
LJ Rock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Boston
Posts: 3,172
LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
This is complicated by a larger issue. Once you get to a point where your weight causes you physical pain, exercise is no longer of benefit to you. Exercise such as walking, etc. merely adds more stress to the situation and can sometimes make you worse. You feel so much better if you lie down for a couple of days, then the pain goes away and you can walk again, only for the pain to return and you need another few days off your feet, then you gain more and it's worse and then you're bedridden. You would hope that through this rollercoaster of exercise and injury you can manage to lose weight but sometimes that is not the case. Some get worse before they get better and then it's too late. This I understand from personal experience.

Sports Rehabilitation Specialists always advise against exercise for someone in that position. They will immediately start a person on a weight training regimine. That means going to the gym or the physical therapists office and being worked on machines designed to strengthen muscles. This works. I've seen it, I've lived it. The NFL players you see weighing at 315 pounds and getting horrendous beatings night after night and coming back from injuries time after time live by this mantra. The problem is, once a person reaches a certain weight they may not feel comfortable or even physically able to go to a gym or a personal trainer. I've had difficulty even using such machines because these machines are designed for a person up to 280 pounds sometimes, and the ergonomics won't accomodate a person at 415.

Also these same NFL players suffer serious repercussions from their football days as they get older. Many of them are nearly crippled with arthritus and other regular joint aches sustained from the brutal existence they enjoyed in their professional career. Many have permanent issues with their heart as well and exist on pain killers, surgeries and cortizone shots.
I don't think I have ever heard this put into such clear-as-day terms before, the difficulties of physical exercize at high weights. It really is a serious issue that desreves some attention!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
Anyone who believes that a person with the bug to play for the NFL is not fully aware of all of this is misinformed. You can be as passionate as you like and show them the plight of an aged former player and be left scratching your head wondering why they're suiting up and running past you to the playing field as if they just don't get it. The thing is, people like this already know the potential consequences for their actions. I know that many of you who know of which you speak are well meaning but it will make very little difference to someone who is overwhelmed with a desire they can't ignore.
Bottom line in regards to the feederism debate; if you don't get it now you never will! Nothing I can say will "win you over" or make you understand how strong an affect the feeder-fantasy has on me. Either you're into it or you're not. For better or worse, it is a very real and very strong desire we all have, and it doesn't just "go away" because we want it to or because someone tells us it's "wrong." Nothing that anyone can say on either side of the fence will change anyone's mind about anything, because it is such a real and intimate thing.

I am still blown away after all these years of coming here that I have actully found this community on line of people who have the same kinds of thoughts and desires I have had all my life. When I think about it, it is really quite a phenomenon! When I think of all the years I really felt like I was the only person on earth who had erotic fantasies about weight gain... man, I think I'm gonna cry! lol

Seriously though, I don't expect anyone to understand this "kink" or "fetish" or whatever you want to call it. And no, you don't have to like it either. But we're not all a bunch of nut-jobs and freaks. And yes, as Lilly said, we are all quite aware of the risks and consequences, and we all need to deal with those individually in our own ways. Despite all the differences there are among us so-called feeder and feedees, I think the one common thing we are all sort of looking for here at Dims is a place where we can talk about these things and not feel judged or persecuted for being different. Just be ourselves, and find some tollerance and acceptance. Is that so bad?
__________________
Peace and love,
LJ Rock
LJ Rock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 10:15 AM   #157
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

He's making sure the pump is working, the meds are up to date and there's no chocolate pudding in the house.
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 10:52 AM   #158
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
He's making sure the pump is working, the meds are up to date and there's no chocolate pudding in the house.
LOL!! Actually I'd like to change my response to, "I dunno, who cares?" Nine times out of ten a feeder isn't even in the picture anyway. Usually if a feedee even HAS a mate to begin with, by the time the illness has occured the feedee has lost her mate through divorce anyway because he was horrified by what she was doing to herself and got out a long time ago. Anyone who stays, feeder or not, is checking the pumps.
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 10:56 AM   #159
SamanthaNY
▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,052
SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!SamanthaNY keeps pushing the rep limit!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LJ Rock View Post
Bottom line in regards to the feederism debate; if you don't get it now you never will! Nothing I can say will "win you over" or make you understand how strong an affect the feeder-fantasy has on me. Either you're into it or you're not.


I think the one common thing we are all sort of looking for here at Dims is a place where we can talk about these things and not feel judged or persecuted for being different. Just be ourselves, and find some tollerance and acceptance. Is that so bad?
The thing is, Dim is not a declared feederism website (I think?) - and there are bunches of people here who aren't into it and don't understand it (as you've said). Yes, you're right - we should all feel we can post without being judged and persecuted, but... those non-feeder/ee folks (and I'm one) will comment and question. Even when done constructively, that can be seen as negative. Sure there's going to be snarky comments too - but there is about almost everything. Unless and until there's a 'feederism only - hands off' portion of the site, I think that's how it's going to be here.

Or, is that what there should be - a 'hands-off' board where certain issues can be discussed without challenge? Is that what the feeders/ees really want? And is that something that should be provided? I think some people feel that's what the weight board already is... to my knowledge, that's not the case.

I'm not saying I have the answer to any of this - I don't want people to feel uncomfortable, but as an outsider of sorts to this topic, I still like to feel I can become involved in the discussion if I wish to.
SamanthaNY is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 11:14 AM   #160
LJ Rock
 
LJ Rock's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Boston
Posts: 3,172
LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!LJ Rock has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SamanthaNY View Post
The thing is, Dim is not a declared feederism website (I think?) - and there are bunches of people here who aren't into it and don't understand it (as you've said). Yes, you're right - we should all feel we can post without being judged and persecuted, but... those non-feeder/ee folks (and I'm one) will comment and question. Even when done constructively, that can be seen as negative. Sure there's going to be snarky comments too - but there is about almost everything. Unless and until there's a 'feederism only - hands off' portion of the site, I think that's how it's going to be here.

Or, is that what there should be - a 'hands-off' board where certain issues can be discussed without challenge? Is that what the feeders/ees really want? And is that something that should be provided? I think some people feel that's what the weight board already is... to my knowledge, that's not the case.

I'm not saying I have the answer to any of this - I don't want people to feel uncomfortable, but as an outsider of sorts to this topic, I still like to feel I can become involved in the discussion if I wish to.

Its always been my impression that the Weight Board was just a place discuss erotic weight related topics (fat admiration specifically in regards to BBWs and not BHMs, this is what the BHM board is for... I think. lol) This is something related to but seperate from "feederism" which is something very different (revolving around intentional "feeding" or stuffing/overeating and weight gain.)

I don't know that there is any real amicable solution to make everyone happy, Samantha. I think that overall the system is working pretty good the way it is... especially when compared to the way things were on the old board, where everyone just kind of congregated around the weight board because thats where all the action was, and chaos and violence would typically ensue! (remember how bad it was? lol) Now, I think it's for the most part understood that The Weight Board is a place where you can post a thread about feederism if you want to, and those who are interested can check it out, and those who are not can steer clear (of that particular thread.)

I think this particular thread is cool because its a chance for all of us (feeder and non-feeder alike) to kind of explore and discuss these issues, and maybe all become a little more aware of things. Like I said, we're really not going to make any "conversions" or any such thing.... either you get it or you dont, either you're into it or you're not. But its a chance for those who aren't into it to maybe understand on a slightly deeper level what it's really all about, and for those who are into it to maybe have a little bit of a deeper awareness of themselves and the roots of their desires.
__________________
Peace and love,
LJ Rock
LJ Rock is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 11:37 AM   #161
imfree
VLF Loop Rancher
 
imfree's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Tn Loop Ranch (Lebanon, Tn.)
Posts: 9,317
imfree has ascended what used to be the highest level.imfree has ascended what used to be the highest level.imfree has ascended what used to be the highest level.imfree has ascended what used to be the highest level.imfree has ascended what used to be the highest level.imfree has ascended what used to be the highest level.imfree has ascended what used to be the highest level.imfree has ascended what used to be the highest level.imfree has ascended what used to be the highest level.imfree has ascended what used to be the highest level.imfree has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default With You

WOW, LJ and Lilly, I'm right in there with you! Too many well-meaning people have told me I could go off oxygen if I would lose weight.
I make sure the oxygen equipment is operating properly and fight my diabetes tooth-and-nail with U-500 insulin.
__________________
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
Not pious, just saved by grace. Your true Christianity
shows in how you treat those who hate you.

You got to lose to know how to win.(Aerosmith-Dream On)

Fat is like grass, it'll never go away and there's a hell
of a lot of money to be made by controlling it!

Life is only therapy, real expensive and no guarantees.

Fat is only ugly to those who hate.

Federal Pacific Panels & Breakers have known fire hazards!
imfree is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 11:40 AM   #162
alienlanes
no longer slackin'
 
alienlanes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: NYC
Posts: 765
alienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LJ Rock View Post
Another fascinating aspect that has come to my attention from reading these posts: what is it exactly that makes some people “feeders” and others “feedees.” We’ve exhausted the discussion about typical predatory abusive males and female victims in my opinion (while this may be true in some cases, I don’t believe it to be the norm.) What is fascinating to me is how for some people their love of fat manifests itself in their own self-image, and for others it is mainly relegated to the admiration of fat in others. I thought of this when reading HeatherBBW’s post where she talked about growing up and wondering what it was like to be fat and get fatter, wearing big clothes and stuffing them to look bigger (what we commonly refer to as “padding” around here.) I used to do and think about these same things as a kid as well; I think a lot of FAs used to do this. What makes us all do it exactly? Who really knows… but what I am curios to know: where was the splitting point that made someone like her say “I want to be fat” and someone like me say, “I want to have a fat girlfriend?”
That's a very good question; I'd imagine the answer is different for everyone. In the case of people who were fat as children, it seems plausible that a subconscious desire to turn the tables on bullies -- "the other kids say I'm fat? I'll show them fat!" -- could develop into a sexualized WG fetish.

But I think you're really on to something with the suggestion that when a child associates food, fat and eating with positive emotions, these associations will cohere during adolescence into a specific sexual preference. (I knew that I liked being around fat people, and had crushes on the fat girls in my grade school classes, long before I had any idea what "sex" was )

My own preferences seem to have arranged themselves in a descending hierarchy of importance. I'm an FA first and foremost -- before anything else, it takes a supersized partner to turn me on. If my partner wanted to gain, that would be icing on the cake, and if she wanted to "mentor" me in my own gaining, that would be... um... sprinkles on the icing?

In my case, at least, the process doesn't work in reverse. The idea of a feeder/feedee relationship with an FFA who's smaller than I am leaves me totally cold.

Who knows why? We can speculate forever (at least I can ) about what it was in our personal histories that made us this way, but what's really important is that we learn to accept ourselves and deal with our desires in a healthy and responsible way.
alienlanes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 11:56 AM   #163
alienlanes
no longer slackin'
 
alienlanes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: NYC
Posts: 765
alienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SamanthaNY View Post
I'm not saying I have the answer to any of this - I don't want people to feel uncomfortable, but as an outsider of sorts to this topic, I still like to feel I can become involved in the discussion if I wish to.
As long as they're civil, I have no problem discussing feederism with the people here who aren't into it -- I've learned a lot from Tina and Ripley's posts. All I'd ask is that they respect the fact that some people genuinely do have WG fantasies and appreciate having a safe space to talk about them.
alienlanes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 12:09 PM   #164
Russ2d
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 856
Russ2d carries a lot of weight on this boardRuss2d carries a lot of weight on this boardRuss2d carries a lot of weight on this boardRuss2d carries a lot of weight on this boardRuss2d carries a lot of weight on this board
Default

Hmmm, my thoughts on Feederism?

I think it's an obvious component for most FAs in one form (and degree) or another. A woman eating to maintain her fat or increase her fat with all the myriad interactions that a man might be involved in from encouragement to force feeding and any and all fantasies with it.

"Feeding" is so demonized now that many FAs and fat women into it wont even touch the subject. Our culture is now one of hypersensitivity and offense. Everyone's offended now and the fat community is no exception, unfortunately.

As far as general judgements about "Feederism" it is completely between the man and woman involved and none of any else's damn business.

As far as sharing fantasies and experiences with this board (the WEIGHTGAIN board) goes... Pfffft forget it.
Russ2d is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 12:13 PM   #165
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

I don't relate much to Heather's experience of stuffing my clothes and trying to make myself look bigger. I was naturally over developed as a kid and had boobs in the third grade. Hormones naturally made me bigger and heavier than other kids my age. It was humiliating and embarrassing. I endure the scolding and constant put downs and for a while I even tried to change or hide things so that I could be more accepted. Secretly though, I would spend hours in the mirror admiring myself with my clothes off checking for changes and such. I had a measuring tape my Nana gave me for sewing and I kept records of my growth. I had super wide hips and took pleasure in hipping the boys in school from their seats and knocking them to the floor. Yeah, I was very popular. I had older brothers and we would all compete to see who could finish their food first. If you ate too slow, they'd steal from your plate which I hated. I got bigger and that's just the way it was. I went through on and off phases where I loved my size, then was embarrassed by it, then loved it again, etc. Pretty much the same as now. I can only describe it as a feeling of sensually erotic empowerment to be a growing girl. I love it but I'm embarrassed by it as well. An odd combo.

As for being a feedee, it's like having a mansion. It's a WAY too expensive way to live. Somebody has to do the hunting around here and I have to work for a living. Plus I don't like the feeling of being helpless and weak. I'm turned on by the thought of taking up a whole bed and being lovingly cared for, I envision it a lot but I'm not sure I really want that. I long for the feel of it but I know I wouldn't want to live that way for long. Eventually I'd want to get up and finish up my artistic project or implement some more changes in the landscape project I have going in my yard. Even in an ideal situation where you have a person devoted to caring for you and whatnot, it is contingent on weather or not THAT person stays healthy. If they ever get sick and need care or should suddenly become incapacitated you're both screwed. For me it's best in the abstract and I'm fine with it.
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 12:38 PM   #166
alienlanes
no longer slackin'
 
alienlanes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: NYC
Posts: 765
alienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
As for being a feedee, it's like having a mansion. It's a WAY too expensive way to live. Somebody has to do the hunting around here and I have to work for a living. Plus I don't like the feeling of being helpless and weak. I'm turned on by the thought of taking up a whole bed and being lovingly cared for, I envision it a lot but I'm not sure I really want that. I long for the feel of it but I know I wouldn't want to live that way for long. Eventually I'd want to get up and finish up my artistic project or implement some more changes in the landscape project I have going in my yard. Even in an ideal situation where you have a person devoted to caring for you and whatnot, it is contingent on weather or not THAT person stays healthy. If they ever get sick and need care or should suddenly become incapacitated you're both screwed. For me it's best in the abstract and I'm fine with it.
I love that "mansion" metaphor! I think you're right, too, that in real life, even disregarding health and hygiene issues, lying in bed all day being pampered would start to get boring after a while.

(Although I have to admit that your mention of "artistic projects" made me imagine being the feeder/amanuensis to a brilliant writer who works out of her bed. That would be sort of amazing .)
alienlanes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 12:45 PM   #167
Miss Vickie
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 5,988
Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.Miss Vickie has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Lilly, thank you for your articulate, thoughtful posts on this subject. It's really helped me understand what is appealing about weight gain. Thank you.
Miss Vickie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 12:45 PM   #168
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SlackerFA View Post
(Although I have to admit that your mention of "artistic projects" made me imagine being the feeder/amanuensis to a brilliant writer who works out of her bed. That would be sort of amazing .)
"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to SlackerFA again."


Are you coming on to me?
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 12:55 PM   #169
alienlanes
no longer slackin'
 
alienlanes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: NYC
Posts: 765
alienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to SlackerFA again."


Are you coming on to me?
Hey, the division of labor is the necessary foundation for great art... you write the novel and I'll bake the cupcakes.

Last edited by alienlanes; 04-16-2007 at 12:58 PM. Reason: typo
alienlanes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 01:01 PM   #170
LillyBBBW
Wig Snatcher
 
LillyBBBW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 9,794
LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.LillyBBBW has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by SlackerFA View Post
Hey, the division of labor is the necessary foundation for great art... you write the novel and I'll bake the cupcakes.
*roflmao* I am roaring here. Who needs a Nor'easter when I can knock the roof off of the house from laughing.

Thanks for that image.
__________________
Expecting the world to treat you kindly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

"...If the only pain you recognize as valid is your own, of course you'll have trouble identifying it when you see it in other people. That's the trouble with narcissism. It makes you really inadequate and boring."

Have you hugged a fat girl today?

@~;~~
LillyBBBW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 01:53 PM   #171
alienlanes
no longer slackin'
 
alienlanes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: NYC
Posts: 765
alienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
*roflmao* I am roaring here. Who needs a Nor'easter when I can knock the roof off of the house from laughing.

Thanks for that image.
Thanks, Lilly

Now if I could find a lemon meringue recipe that would pump the floodwater out of my basement, I'd really be set.
alienlanes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 01:54 PM   #172
bigplaidpants
FAtari
 
bigplaidpants's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Chicago, southside
Posts: 666
bigplaidpants is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybigplaidpants is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybigplaidpants is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybigplaidpants is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybigplaidpants is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybigplaidpants is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybigplaidpants is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybigplaidpants is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybigplaidpants is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybigplaidpants is a pillar of the Dimensions communitybigplaidpants is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

<swings hips side to side to get a thought in edge-wise>

As a FA who's also had fantasies about feeding/growing (which my body won't let me really do).....I can't wait to get a chance to really read this thread.

.....pfff. Then I can put my .02 when everyone's lost interest.

<says under breath> friggin boxes.
__________________
on relative hiatus

Quote:
Originally Posted by philosobear View Post
Fat-desire is ever present not because it is permanent, but because it is always coming back.
My Favorite Flower
bigplaidpants is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 02:07 PM   #173
JillyBee
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 16
JillyBee has said some nice things
Default An influential interview (long)

Here's an interview that a friend showed me a while back. It had an enormous influence on the way I think about being fat and having admirers that want me to gain....

I never met LillyBeth (she died in a car crash some time ago) but I think I'd have really liked her. Did anybody here know her?

Jilly
================

1Q. How has being a BBW affected your life?
I'm not quite sure I know yet what it means to ``be`` a BBW. I was a skinny kid and a barely-plump ten year old. As an adolescent I was miserable because I was hungry, and unpopular because I was miserable. It's only when I rejected the my mother's obsession with thinness and came to live in Paris that I stopped being miserable. Some people are drawn to me now because I'm ``big`` (actually, I'm short and fat), but I hope that folks can see through the fat, and find the real LilyBeth beautiful too.

2Q. Have you ever gone on a diet? Many BBW's diet to "gain back" the favour of society.
I have never voluntarily *gone* on a reducing diet. But I spent most of my puberty and adolescence being *sent* on such diets by my mother. The message she and her friends had for me was that food was dangerous to a girl as short as me, and that I would get too fat if I (and they) didn't watch every mouthful I took. I bought into the idea, so too many of my waking hours between the ages of 11 and 16 were spent feeling ravenously hungry, and miserable; occasionally smuggling food into my room and feeling guilty about it. In retrospect I realize that it was only my father's support at that time that kept me from becoming another casualty of one or another kind of diet madness.

I've become happy enough with myself and my life in the last five years that I can take what favour is offered and ignore abuse and ridicule. I find it easy to make friends with nice people and I have the emotional, intellectual, and material resources not to need any of the other kind. I'm lucky.

3Q. Lily Beth's life before moving to Paris.
An idyllic childhood in and around Cambridge, Mass. where my father works. My dad is a clever yet beautifully serene person, from whom I've learned a lot. My mother's father had been a rabbinical scholar before leaving Europe, and I remember his part in my growing up with great warmth. The cataclysms of the 30s and 40s had put paid to his religious belief, but in his own quiet way he gave me a secular ethical foundation which has lasted to this day.

My twin sister was born a few minutes before me, and was tiny and very weak. She died within two weeks of our birth and I don't think my mother has ever recovered from the pain of her death. When I was a child she was so rarely happy that I can almost remember the times I saw her smile for more than a moment. But until I was nearly eleven we had a nice straightforward (if not particularly warm) relationship. Then calamity descended -- in the form of puppyfat! The oppression started almost the moment the hormones began to flow. Careful, LB, you'll get fat if you eat that. No chips for LB, she'll get too fat. No dessert for LB, thanks.

In short, LB's every mouthful was monitored. I was changing shape, and that proved the dangers of food as far as my mother was concerned. Now I see that from puberty 'til I was nearly 16 she was an anorexic-by-proxy, and the proxy was me! My dad's reasons for not stopping the madness immediately? I don't exactly know, but I believe they are rooted in his compassion for her continuing grief. I almost believed her myself, and did my best -- most of the time -- to keep food at bay, despite the misery her project was causing me. This was *my* act of compassion for her: perhaps even an act of contrition for having been the twin who survived!

Looked at only from the perspective of food/dieting/mother it might seem that this period was completely without joy for me; but it wasn't. I discovered that I was as clever as I'd always been told I was going to be. I discovered that I could find some happiness in my room with books. I discovered literature and history (and, amazingly, mathematics). I also began to discover that I had a self, and by the age of 17 I knew that I had to leave home as soon as I could if my self was not going to be extinguished.

My first year in college (in Amherst) was not an unqualified success, but at least I was able to control my own food. I don't want to dwell on this year, but the essence of the story is that I started to eat, and the tension with my mother increased as I gained weight (barely 25lbs). To cut a long story short, my Grandfather died the day before my 18th birthday, and left me the wherewithal to leave my mother's orbit completely. Two long papers, and what the English call ``the old-boy network`` (one of my father's ``chers collegues``) got me a place in school in Paris the following year.

4.Q. Lily Beth's life into willing weight gaining!
LB. 19 years old. Fluent enough in French to find an apartment and to order dinner, but not fluent enough to
understand the subtleties of French prehistory, or anthropology as taught by an elderly Prof. with a strong Alsace accent. Crowded lectures. Making friends slowly -- my very presence seems to polarise discussions sometimes. The French are ambivalent about us: some of them hate what they call our cultural imperialism, others find McDonalds smart! Eeek!

My apartment is 25 metres from a restaurant, Chez JC, where I eat a few times in the first week. French food is a revelation! They care about textures and flavours and the assemblage of dishes and of meals. I'm tempted to go further afield, but I begin to develop a warm relationship with the ``patron``, Jean-Christophe -- a man of about the same age as my dad whose wife died the year before. He tells me that he loves the look on my face when I eat his food. I'm scarcely aware of it at the time, but I know I always have a lot of fun when I eat there. By the end of the first month J-C and I are the best of friends, and I'm eating there two or three times a week. J-C tells me that he has a small proposition to make to me: he wants to become more adventurous in his cooking, and needs a friendly critic. He'll cook for me every evening, if I agree to give him an honest opinion of all his new dishes.

So he brings me new dishes to try out each day, and sometimes we work through several versions of a dish to find the combinations that work. Of course he is what I suppose I'd now recognise as a ''feeder'', but I am having so much fun with his food, and enjoying my changing shape so much, that I really don't pay any attention to the idea that what is being tried out is not his dishes, but my appetites.

As my friendship with J-C develops I discover many things about myself that have been hidden or suppressed. My love of the smells and tastes of food, my delight in becoming fatter, my astonishment at the amount of food I can eat, and my discovery of the intense sensual pleasure I get from eating and drinking. I am finding and nurturing the self that my mother suppressed in all sorts of ways. Sometimes I think that on these pages we focus on our fat-ness at the expense of other aspects of our being. Yes, it's what brought us here, but for me it's just a part of my real life.

5.Q. Lily Beth and food.
What can I say? I love to eat good food. I'm very lucky that I'm living in one of the gastronomic centres of the world! My father worries that I am an unhappily compulsive eater. I have spoken to people who describe themselves as compulsive eaters, but NEVER have they described their feelings about eating as happy: indeed it seems that they are usually miserable when they begin or end (what they call) a binge. For me the opposite is true: when I'm anticipating eating I get the kind of electric tingling that I imagine comes when one is about to meet a new lover..... a kind of joyful anticipation. While I'm eating I can easily abandon myself to the sheer sensual pleasures of the food, and the delightful feelings of my tummy beginning to swell in a way that I can't quite control. And when I've finished eating I love the way my tummy moves almost independently of the rest of me. As I've gotten bigger, I've enjoyed this last part more and more.

6.Q. Lily Beth and love.
Sensual love? Romantic love? Passionate love? Filial love? Fraternal love? I've had lovers, and I have close friends whom I love. I'm slowly getting used to the idea that for some men my shape, and my enthusiasm for food, makes me very desirable. But for the moment, the idea of a close friend is more important to me than the idea of a passionate or romantic lover. I suppose that's because there's nobody in my sights right now. I'll probably give you a different answer if you ask me in six months time.

7Q. Lily Beth and clothing.
The less I speak of this the better. I try to look smart, but I'm 5'1'' tall and weigh around 330lbs. Mine is not a shape for which fashion gurus itch to design, and this leaves me with a problem which money on its own can't really solve -- especially while I stay in Europe. Most of the time I wear stuff which my dad sends from Boston. I've recenty found some large-size catalogues on the Web, so maybe I'll be able to branch out a little. I have a larger friend in England who has recently given me some of the nicer clothes she's outgrown, and I'm waiting for her seamstress to shorten them for me.

8 Q. Being a BBW in Europe...
I've not really been fat anywhere else for any length of time, so I've nothing to compare it to properly. There are fewer really fat people here than I see when I'm in the US. Here I look and feel extraordinary, in the US I'm just another fat girl.

9Q. What was the greatest emotion of your whole life?
That's a secret.

10Q. Who's a person you'll always have to thank?
My father, for keeping me sane despite my mother's madness. My friend Jean-Christophe, who taught me the sensual pleasures of food.

11Q Please, tell us about yourself: fears, hopes, beliefs...
My fear: that my mother and I will be estranged for ever.
Personal hopes: a published novel, children (eventually).
Other hopes: an end to war and oppression, an end to poverty, help for people who need help and help from people who can give help.

12Q. Lily Beth and Paris..
It's a gas! I live the life of a dilettante-in-exile at the moment -- writing when I can, seeing friends, talking, galleries, plays, dinners! It won't last -- and I'd be stupidly unrealistic if I expected it to.

13Q. How would you define your spare time? Something boring, something exciting, something personal? How do you spend it?
I have no spare time!
JillyBee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 02:12 PM   #174
alienlanes
no longer slackin'
 
alienlanes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: NYC
Posts: 765
alienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions communityalienlanes is a pillar of the Dimensions community
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JillyBee View Post
Here's an interview that a friend showed me a while back. It had an enormous influence on the way I think about being fat and having admirers that want me to gain....

I never met LillyBeth (she died in a car crash some time ago) but I think I'd have really liked her. Did anybody here know her?
Wow, that's amazing.

I never knew LilyBeth. I wish I had.
alienlanes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-16-2007, 03:27 PM   #175
MisticalMisty
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 6,362
MisticalMisty has ascended what used to be the highest level.MisticalMisty has ascended what used to be the highest level.MisticalMisty has ascended what used to be the highest level.MisticalMisty has ascended what used to be the highest level.MisticalMisty has ascended what used to be the highest level.MisticalMisty has ascended what used to be the highest level.MisticalMisty has ascended what used to be the highest level.MisticalMisty has ascended what used to be the highest level.MisticalMisty has ascended what used to be the highest level.MisticalMisty has ascended what used to be the highest level.MisticalMisty has ascended what used to be the highest level.
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by LJ Rock View Post

Seriously though, I don't expect anyone to understand this "kink" or "fetish" or whatever you want to call it. And no, you don't have to like it either. But we're not all a bunch of nut-jobs and freaks. And yes, as Lilly said, we are all quite aware of the risks and consequences, and we all need to deal with those individually in our own ways. Despite all the differences there are among us so-called feeder and feedees, I think the one common thing we are all sort of looking for here at Dims is a place where we can talk about these things and not feel judged or persecuted for being different. Just be ourselves, and find some tollerance and acceptance. Is that so bad?
AMEN! You don't have to like it..you don't even have to PRETEND to like it..but what's going on in someone else's house is really no one's business.

You're right. Even though a lot of people don't care for it, feederism is a part of this community. It will continue to be and an open mind or a willingness to stay out of the threads will help things along. You would think..a group that is judged so often and faces so many stereotypes wouldn't be so quick to judge other people.

You would think.

MisticalMisty is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:07 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.