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Old 05-08-2007, 11:34 AM   #1
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Default Plussized Pregnancy.

Ok background first. I'm 22, 330lbs, never had regular periods and theres no medical reason been found for it. I don't have PCOS and I have been pregnant before (only slightly, as in a few weeks then lost it)

We're definatly planning on having children at some point, sooner rather than later and I've got a few questions I wanted to ask.

Will me being so overweight cut down the chances a lot?
I'm assuming that the lack of and irregular periods will also mean I'm not ovulating often or erratically?
Are the risks of complications much higher?
Is it possible to get pregnant at my size and not miscarry in the very early stages?
On average how long does it take to get pregnant?

If you have been pregnant, are trying to get pregnant or have tried in the past could you tell me your experiences if you're willing?

I'm sure theres lots here I've forgotten, so if you've anything to add feel free.

Thanks
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Old 05-08-2007, 11:47 AM   #2
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I was 409lbs when i delivered my son. He was born with some birth defects but ALL the specialists told me it had nothing to do with my weight. The pregnancy was pretty easy. I was sick nearly the entire time with morning/day sickness. I didnt have a very fat friendly doctor so he often told me that i would be lucky to carry my baby to 27 weeks. He also never listened to me. Which has since turned into a phobia about doctors for me. I did developed gestational diabetes which sucked ass. I ended up having to be on insulin because the restricted diet made me lose weight rapidly and have ketones like crazy. That wasn't so horrid cuz i could eat more food and not worry about it.

As for getting pregnant, i wasn't try to get pregnant so i don't know how hard it is to conceive lol I am currently in the start of getting ready to try and conceive. We stopped using protection but I always seem to be not sexy feeling when I'm ovulating. I am VERY regular period wise so i don't know if it would be hard to conceive. If you can tell when you're ovulating, it would help. I always have very tender nipples and get a little tired during that time (sorry if it's too much info!)

The thing about being over weight and pregnant is the high risk of gestational diabetes which can lead to a huge birth weight but then again, most doctors are fat phobic and I'm just repeating what they told me. I was told that there is risk of premature birth and miscarriage and high blood pressure and what have you about being so big. You are so much smaller than i was when i got pregnant.

I think that's all the info i have in my head. good luck!
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Old 05-08-2007, 01:07 PM   #3
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All I have to say is: Good luck and I hope your attempts are smooth.
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Old 05-08-2007, 01:36 PM   #4
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Hi Em,

I dont have any personal experience but my friend had a baby last year. She's around 300lbs and had reduced fertility due to PCOS. She's not online very often (even less now she has a gorgeous bouncing baby boy to look after!) but she's always recommended this site to other plus size Mums to be - http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/

Hope it helps

Tracey xx
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Old 05-08-2007, 03:46 PM   #5
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Dear BEABEA

My Beloved Girlfriend has also 300 lbs. and We want so much to have a couple of sons someday... So, I always wanted information about pregnancy in this circunstances... Thank You very much for the hint...
All my Love!!!

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Old 05-08-2007, 03:57 PM   #6
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I don't have children but two of my sisters who were rather fat at the time do. They were much heavier than you and had no problems at all.

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Old 05-08-2007, 09:13 PM   #7
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You'd have to double check with docs on all this, but I'd recommend making sure you're healthy in general before starting down this path. For some docs, that means losing weight [which is often recommended to BBWs], but we know here that you can find a point of good health without being skinny and that point may be higher for you. Little things like eating healthier, not being around smoke, minimizing caffeine [although that's been under debate] can all prep your body for whatever will be in store. If you get pregnant right away, it'll be great for the baby. If you need fertility intervention, it'll help you with the stress you'll be experiencing.

I'd recommend 2 books:

Big Beautiful & Pregnant
http://www.bigbeautifulandpregnant.com/
Seems to be a more non-judgmental book on plus-size pregnancy compared to some, but don't rely on it for full pregnancy info.

Getting Pregnant by Niels H. Lauersen
http://www.nielslauersenmd.org/
This seems to be a very comprehensive book for women of all sizes.

Docs will often want you to try for a year before starting testing or fertility treatments, unless you have an underlying problem like PCOS. Fortunately, you're at a great age for pregnancy, and that'll be a bonus for you.

Good luck!
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Old 05-08-2007, 09:54 PM   #8
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I was 275 lbs when I got prego and carried full term + a week. I gained 24 lbs and was down 23 a week later. My biggest issue was swelling and that was it. Well, that and then being in labor for 30 hours. For some reason, I wouldn't dialate. Finally, 30 hours later, my beautiful daughter arrived. 16 years later I couldn't ask for a better daughter. (Well maybe when she gets sassy, haha). I got tears in my eyes Saturday evening as she headed off to prom.
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Old 05-09-2007, 03:54 AM   #9
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Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you.
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Old 05-09-2007, 06:45 AM   #10
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Good Luck! I hope it goes smoothly for you!
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Old 05-09-2007, 09:50 AM   #11
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I wish you all the luck in the world with your pregnancy. My wife had a baby when she was about 400 lbs and it was a perfectly healthy pregnancy! We did have to go to a furtility doctor, but literally after the first two months treatements (some reasonably priced medication, I forgot what it was...) she became pregnant. She also had irregular periods. Her blood pressure was a bit high before being pregnant, but during the pregnancy her blood pressure actually went down to the point where she went off of her blood pressure meds.

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Old 05-09-2007, 10:01 AM   #12
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oh, big time best of luck Em.
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Old 05-09-2007, 07:30 PM   #13
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If you were about 10 years older then I'd be worried. My mom had my brother at 37 and her blood pressure went through the roof. She was about 230 before and went to 270. Just follow your doctor's instructions and eat without guilt. My mom was 22 when I was born and much slimmer yet I was born with 2 birth defects(neither is life threatening, only annoying).
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Old 05-09-2007, 07:49 PM   #14
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Em I think it's great that you're thinking about this NOW, before you start trying to get pregnant.

Sure it's very possible to get pregnant and carry a pregnancy to term at a higher weight. I see it all the time. While fat women tend to have more complications, I'm not sure how much of that is because of the weight itself, or the perception and treatment of them as "high risk" by their providers. It does seem like I see more hypertension and diabetes in larger women -- but I also see those things in women who are so tiny a stiff wind could blow them down.

I'd say the most important things to do if you want to get pregnant is:

1) Stop smoking, stop drinking, stop doing drugs. Those things, more than anything, will cause problems with the pregnancy. In my work, I see the results of smoking (increased premature deliveries, placental abruptions and babies coming down off of nicotine who are miserable, screaming, unhappy campers), drinking (memory and mental health issues), and drugs (nothing worse than caring for a poor infant who's detoxing from opiates -- it's scary and sad). So, thinking ahead about caring for your body and for your baby is a great idea. Lots of people can "dodge a bullet" and seem to have healthy pregnancies and gorgeous babies. But your changes of having a healthy babies are increased with healthy diet, good prenatal care, and staying away from toxic substances.

2) See a physician (an endocrinologist, most likely, given your irregular periods) to resolve any hormonal issues that might prevent you from getting, and staying, pregnant. The earlier you get these things under control, the more likely you'll be able to achieve pregnancy, even if you aren't interested in getting pregnant for years. (check out www.soulcysters.com for excellent information about PCOS). PCOS is treatable, but only if you get evaluated, and from what I understand, the earlier the better.

3) Get yourself into the best health of your life BEFORE you get pregnant, if you can. That means building stamina by being active within your fitness level, eating well, taking prenatal vitamins (not necessary but not harmful, and especially folic acid which prevents neural tube birth defects).

Somewhere there is a plus size pregnancy website. I don't have the URL anymore but you can probably google it. KMom is an amazing woman and has culled a LOT of amazing information from her years researching this issue.

Best of luck! I'm pulling for you, Em. Being a mom is the most rewarding thing in my life, certainly a life changing experience!

Oh, I forgot to mention how long it takes to get pregnant. I think the fertility experts don't get involved until you've tried for a year. Some women get pregnant the first cycle they try; others take years. It just depends on .... lots of things. Ovulation, which is hormone driven, how good your fella's swimmers are, and probably lots of other things we don't understand. Unfortunately there's no way to predict but there are ways to increase your chances including some good fertility predictors that are available OTC.
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Old 05-10-2007, 01:16 AM   #15
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I have to echo what Vickie said, that being said, a lot of drugs stay in your system for a while and can actually cause problems later on, up to a year they say (for example...pot), so i would give it some time...plus that gives you lots of extra time to practice...

but you know, the one thing you have to ask yourself is how ready are you....can you support the child, what if you get sick, do you have a support system where you are, one you can trust...what if your baby is sick and you need to work, is there someone you can trust with your baby?? How are you with sleep deprivation?? Have you literally had a child around you for a looooonnnng time, are you ready?? it is hard to be around a screaming child for hours, do you have a support group for yourself?? Can you borrow someones infant for a while and see how you like being around a baby for say, 24 hours (man i gotta say, some of my friends kids, man, that woulda changed my mind)

I know those are some questions not everyone asks, but they should....raising a kid is so hard now days, with the increased stressors in our lives...and i would like to think you have support if you need it, what if your honey and you break up, would you be ok to be a single mom???

all sucky questions...but that being said...see a doc, stay away from chemicals and good luck.
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Old 05-10-2007, 01:44 AM   #16
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I have to echo what Vickie said, that being said, a lot of drugs stay in your system for a while and can actually cause problems later on, up to a year they say (for example...pot), so i would give it some time...plus that gives you lots of extra time to practice...

but you know, the one thing you have to ask yourself is how ready are you....can you support the child, what if you get sick, do you have a support system where you are, one you can trust...what if your baby is sick and you need to work, is there someone you can trust with your baby?? How are you with sleep deprivation?? Have you literally had a child around you for a looooonnnng time, are you ready?? it is hard to be around a screaming child for hours, do you have a support group for yourself?? Can you borrow someones infant for a while and see how you like being around a baby for say, 24 hours (man i gotta say, some of my friends kids, man, that woulda changed my mind)

I know those are some questions not everyone asks, but they should....raising a kid is so hard now days, with the increased stressors in our lives...and i would like to think you have support if you need it, what if your honey and you break up, would you be ok to be a single mom???

all sucky questions...but that being said...see a doc, stay away from chemicals and good luck.

I too agree with what Vickie said....give up smoking, drinking and partying and then try. There is nothing worse than a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome. Growing up we a had foster baby who was addicted to crack cocaine AND fetal alcohol. It's so sad. The alcohol basically causes your baby to be retarded. And because of the crack he would cry and shake until he turned blue in the face. He has constant tummy troubles and the only way to get him to sleep was to sleep with him on my belly. He did show improvement in the 2.5 year we had him. The foster care system is fucked. After 2.5 years and being promised adoption, he was returned to his crack head mamma.

Then there is the severe fetal alcohol baby I took care of. This baby was the biggest challenge of my life. (my mom works, so being the oldest child, I was basically the mom to these kids) Anyways, he was so messed up. He wouldn't eat....he couldn't be around any stimulation ie. light or noise. He couldn't stand to be touched. It was heart breaking. He also had a sever cleft palet which meant special feeding...which is hard in a baby that stiffens up when you hold it. Now take into account that at the same time I was caring for this child, I had his brother who was 2, two other foster children who were 12 and 15 who were handicapped mentally and the 12 year old had CP. I was also caring for twin babies the same age as the foster baby and two toddlers 5 and 4 years old. All on my own. I used to have to get everyone sorted out and leave them so that I could spend time with the alcohol baby. I would lie him on my mom's bed and just lay there with him. I didn't touch him much cos this made him go nuts, but I would just have to lay there so that he knew someone was there. I couldn't have any lights on or he wouldn't sleep for hours on end. It was very sad indeed. The good news is that he got his cleft pallet fixed. He also warmed up to me and started showing signs of improvements. He did improve, but he will always be mentally slow because his mother drank whilst she was pregnant.

I tell you this to beg and plead with you not to drink or party while you are pregnant....that means a whole new lifestyle for you. It's not fair to bring a child into the world already addicted to things and handicapped because of it.

That being said....if you are ready, have fun and good luck. Being pregnant sucks....I was only 8 weeks but I was a raging bitch, lol.

The best birth control I have had is taking care of all those kids by myself at once. It was enough to say "I'm done raising kids" lol. Now I have a step son...which is great...part time kids I can do, lol.
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Old 05-10-2007, 02:16 AM   #17
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I was 260 when I got pregnant with my daughter in 2000, but I was extremely sick the first 3 months, so I lost 25 pounds. I was in the hospital quite a bit with that, getting IV fluids and such. After the sickness, I could eat again and gained back 20 of those lbs by the time she was born.
I ended up having her 4 weeks early, but since her weight was 6 lbs.3 oz. she was a healthy normal baby.

When I had my son in 1995, I was 160 lbs. I developed high blood pressure and had to stay on bedrest for the final 4 weeks of the pregnancy. He was full term and a normal weight as well.

Good luck!
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Old 05-10-2007, 02:27 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by Miss Vickie View Post

Somewhere there is a plus size pregnancy website. I don't have the URL anymore but you can probably google it. KMom is an amazing woman and has culled a LOT of amazing information from her years researching this issue.
In case anyone missed it this is Kmom's site: http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/

I'm even happier to recommend it now I know it has had Miss Vickie's professional eye cast over it.

Tracey xx
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Old 05-10-2007, 03:48 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by Miss Vickie View Post
I'd say the most important things to do if you want to get pregnant is:

1) Stop smoking, stop drinking, stop doing drugs. Those things, more than anything, will cause problems with the pregnancy. In my work, I see the results of smoking (increased premature deliveries, placental abruptions and babies coming down off of nicotine who are miserable, screaming, unhappy campers), drinking (memory and mental health issues), and drugs (nothing worse than caring for a poor infant who's detoxing from opiates -- it's scary and sad). So, thinking ahead about caring for your body and for your baby is a great idea. Lots of people can "dodge a bullet" and seem to have healthy pregnancies and gorgeous babies. But your changes of having a healthy babies are increased with healthy diet, good prenatal care, and staying away from toxic substances.
I don't drink nearly as much as I used to and I'm willing to quit drinking to get pregnant. We're not activly trying at the moment. Just weighing up the pros and cons of the whole thing. From reading what everyone has posted I'm thinking of losing a little weight first. Maybe just about 60lbs but I've read that losing just 10% of your weight can improve your health greatly. As for drugs I'm just a recreational user and it wouldn't be a problem to stop these stone dead if we decided to try and have a baby. The smoking, thats going to be a problem, I'm not too sure if I could give up. But I'd give it a damned good try.
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Old 05-10-2007, 03:54 AM   #20
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but you know, the one thing you have to ask yourself is how ready are you....can you support the child, what if you get sick, do you have a support system where you are, one you can trust...what if your baby is sick and you need to work, is there someone you can trust with your baby?? How are you with sleep deprivation?? Have you literally had a child around you for a looooonnnng time, are you ready?? it is hard to be around a screaming child for hours, do you have a support group for yourself?? Can you borrow someones infant for a while and see how you like being around a baby for say, 24 hours (man i gotta say, some of my friends kids, man, that woulda changed my mind)
I personally don't work and don't plan to. My other half is in the process of getting a better job now, I'll be back in school in sept and you can get free childcare here if you're in education. I don't have a support system here yet. I'm ok with sleep deprivation and so is my fella. And yes I've had children around me for a very longgggggg time. I used to live with my best friend and her kids for a long time. When I was 14 and she was 17 we brought up her new born baby on our own on a very little amount of money (about $280 a month between 3 of us) I lived with her for about the first year, and have lived with her 2 times more when she had more kids. At that age we didn't have a clue what we were doing and had no one to help us. I've little doubt that I can look after a baby now.
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Old 05-10-2007, 03:56 AM   #21
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Thank you very much everyone for your help. Not much I can say in responce but it's been very very helpful.
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Old 05-10-2007, 05:28 AM   #22
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Thank you very much everyone for your help. Not much I can say in responce but it's been very very helpful.
One thing to add.....when and if you do get yourself knocked up Lemme know....we will have a nice lil baby-shower when the time comes...woohooo. Stupid games and good food...that's what I'm talkin bout!
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Old 05-10-2007, 05:55 AM   #23
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The smoking, thats going to be a problem, I'm not too sure if I could give up. But I'd give it a damned good try.
Please don't take this the wrong way, this is not intended to be mean-- this is an advice thread, so I'll give mine.

First off, if you can't give up smoking, you should not try to get pregnant. As previously stated, it can have ill effects on the fetus.

Now, also, if you are going to say, "I don't know if I can do ____, it's going to be a problem," that is not a good mindset to have going into having a child, I think. When you have a child, as far as I can see you live for the child. It's not an issue of "I'll see if I can do it," it's an issue of you just do it because you are responsible for the life of another human. Even if you gave up smoking while you were pregnant, second-hand smoke is horrendous for children. There could be effects from that, too. I would think that if you want a child and fully understand what that means, you also need to be prepared to change yourself, even if it would be exceedingly hard.
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Old 05-10-2007, 06:06 AM   #24
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No offence taken whatsoever. I totally understand where you're coming from but I don't think that just because someone can't give up smoking they shouldn't have a child. I know many many people who smoked while pregnant (my mum included) and I don't know of one that has had a child with a birth defect. By not giving up smoking I meant I don't think I could give up smoking while trying to get pregnant, but I know I'd be much more inclined to do so if I was pregnant.
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Old 05-10-2007, 06:08 AM   #25
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Please don't take this the wrong way, this is not intended to be mean-- this is an advice thread, so I'll give mine.

First off, if you can't give up smoking, you should not try to get pregnant. As previously stated, it can have ill effects on the fetus.

Now, also, if you are going to say, "I don't know if I can do ____, it's going to be a problem," that is not a good mindset to have going into having a child, I think. When you have a child, as far as I can see you live for the child. It's not an issue of "I'll see if I can do it," it's an issue of you just do it because you are responsible for the life of another human. Even if you gave up smoking while you were pregnant, second-hand smoke is horrendous for children. There could be effects from that, too. I would think that if you want a child and fully understand what that means, you also need to be prepared to change yourself, even if it would be exceedingly hard.
I think this is a good point, personally, and it's the main reason I'm sort of okay with the possibility that I can't have children. I don't think, and I swear I'm only speaking for myself, that I could ever have children unless I knew I was completely willing to do whatever it took to raise them as well and healthily as I could. And there are just things I don't think I could give up--not smoking, because I don't smoke, but other things.

Still, I really am pulling for you Em in every capacity and I honestly wish you the best of luck, also in every capacity.
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