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Old 05-12-2007, 09:38 PM   #1
xdeementedxdeemonx
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Default bbws on top?

OK, this is embarrassing...."well, to me"
anyways, i'm a bbw, i'm 5'1 (barely), and i am too shy to be on top when it comes to making love.
my b/f is 5'10 and is about 50lbs lighter than me, and im embarrassed coz im afraid i might squish him...lol.
plus when i do attempt to get on top of him (which always fails coz i'm too shy) i am so short my legs can barely touch the bed, floor, etc.
any suggestions?
please oh please help me get over this...
bbws, UNITE, lol.
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Old 05-12-2007, 09:43 PM   #2
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I am glad you brought this up. It is something that has been on my mind too. I will be eager to hear responses
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Old 05-12-2007, 09:48 PM   #3
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I weigh about 200, and my ex (sigh... ) weighed about 360 at her highest point, and she was often on top of me. I did not die, though sometimes she would lie on me (like, not touching anything but me) and I could not breathe... but I enjoyed that too

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Old 05-12-2007, 09:54 PM   #4
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It's the kind of anxiety you can only get over slowly. No matter what anybody tells you, even if you see it on TV, you won't be able to shake the feeling that you're going to kill someone or at the very least maim them and leave them crippled for life without slowly exposing yourself to the reality that you wont. I would say gradually adjust to the idea by doing some small things like sitting on your sweetie's lap for a five minute stretch or cuddling on the couch. It takes a while to acclimate youself to the atmosphere that you will not crush your partner to death. When you're ready to try being on top you will know. Just take it easy and go slowly. You'll come around. Have fun!
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Old 05-12-2007, 09:56 PM   #5
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You won't squish him. I'm nearly twice my boyfriends weight and we've been fine. Don't worry about that. You might try pillows under your knees to help you touch the bed or floor better, though.
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Old 05-12-2007, 10:11 PM   #6
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It took me a while too, to be comfortable on top. I was afraid I'd hurt him, or that he wouldn't enjoy me being on top. I think it just took a few times of me doing it, and him expressing to me that he likes it, for me to get over my anxiety of being on top. And I've been anywhere from the same weight, up to 70 lbs heavier than him.

And I think the pillows are a good idea to help you reach the bed/floor.
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Old 05-12-2007, 10:21 PM   #7
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I hate to jump in, but that is like one of my fantasies. Seriously...
Fat Girls on top= Win
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Old 05-12-2007, 10:36 PM   #8
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I can only offer my own personal opinion and experience.
I enjoy when Erin is on top, to a point, and the fact that she is much heavier than I am has no critical physical effects on me. I enjoy the sight of her on top, I enjoy the feeling of having her weight on top of me, I enjoy seeing her larger body parts resting gently on top of mine, and especially certain body parts (my favorite of all - the belly) that certainly flow a little distance outwards on my own torso. It's quite the spectacular sight and feeling. She does not suffocate me, she does not hurt me, and especially in the time of sexual intercoarse, I have enough steam built up inside my body that the adrenaline kicks in and often quite comfortable.

I might imagine that if your boyfriend enjoys the fact that you are a large woman, he certainly might like you being on top, might like the feeling of your weight on him, and all the other benefits of having a lovely large lady to slop body parts together with.

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Old 05-12-2007, 10:50 PM   #9
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Lilly's right--the only way to be okay with doing it is to do it. You'll see that it's 1) actually pretty fun sometimes, 2) probably something your guy is into--at least to some degree.

I'm 415, my ex is something near 145 (I think) and he's still alive and kicking and I actually did attempt to squish him something like (*counts on her fingers*) 5 days ago.

Talk to your fellow, find out what you both feel comfortable with and work up to it. It's like anything else, communication and practice go a long way toward making it fun and comfortable.
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Old 05-13-2007, 04:20 AM   #10
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Default On top? Is this too personal? too much info?

Being on top is my absolutely fave position!

Put a pillow on either side of his body for your knees. That can help.

My hands on his wrists, allows a great deal of control for me.
I love being on top. It is very empowering. Teasing him with my breasts, dragging my huge belly on his chest is more fun than it sounds in print. Teasing other parts of him too, when he thrusts forward and gets into my belly rather than another warm spot, is a delight. My jiggling flesh is a turn on for both of us.
Play with this and the more comfortable you feel will make it more exciting for the 2 of you.
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Old 05-13-2007, 05:48 AM   #11
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This is a subject that I've chatted about in the chatroom with other bbws. I've been over double the weight of the people Ive been on top of. So you honestly have NO worries there!

As for the mechanics, I am 5' 3" and have short very fat thighs. That is the problem for me. Like you my knees barely reach the bed or whatever and if they do, Im so stuck there its virtually impossible to move. The only thing that Ive found that works is to put a really thick pillow either side of his hips to raise myself up a bit. If you can have him lie on the edges of the pillows it will help stop them sliding away. It's still not ideal really, but it should make the position "do-able"! I think that better than that though is if you have a long ottoman or low bench for him to lie on, and you can stand with your legs either side of him, feet on the floor. Then you can basically sit down like that and its much easier to maneouvre as you have your feet on the floor.

About the shyness, he obviously loves your body so just remember that and do what you feel comfortable with. Voice your concerns to him re: the mechanics of it and he can help it happen with you. Good luck!!
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Old 05-13-2007, 05:55 AM   #12
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I'm almost triple my husband's weight (me 450lb, he 165lb) and it doesn't hurt Art at all for me to be on top. I'm 6ft tall, so my hands and knees reach the bed just fine, even with all my fat "in the way" so to speak. The problem is that my arms and legs get tired after a while, so it's just more comfortable for me to be flat on my back.

Besides, foreplay is a major part of the experience, and after Art gives me one of his ecstatic full-body massages, I'm so blissfully relaxed that I'll just stay flat on my back, thank you very much, and let him have his way with me.
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Old 05-13-2007, 07:19 AM   #13
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It's all about communication and intention.

My baby loves me on top. I'm a decent sized girl over 500 lbs and 5'10". It takes him being able to say what he wants, and me being able to say what I am comfortable with. If he says he wants it and can handle it I say...ohhhhkayyyy and watch his face so that I can get off of him when I am no longer comfortable. (ie watching his face go bright red)

Guys like...most guys....and guys who like bbws like a woman on top of them sometimes.

If you have the chance, just start by kissing him and straddling him..and then maybe you can take it one step at a time.

Good luck and have fun. Sex shouldn't be stressful...it should be a time of giggles and orgasms!!!
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Old 05-13-2007, 07:22 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruby Ripples View Post
This is a subject that I've chatted about in the chatroom with other bbws. I've been over double the weight of the people Ive been on top of. So you honestly have NO worries there!

As for the mechanics, I am 5' 3" and have short very fat thighs. That is the problem for me. Like you my knees barely reach the bed or whatever and if they do, Im so stuck there its virtually impossible to move. The only thing that Ive found that works is to put a really thick pillow either side of his hips to raise myself up a bit. If you can have him lie on the edges of the pillows it will help stop them sliding away. It's still not ideal really, but it should make the position "do-able"! I think that better than that though is if you have a long ottoman or low bench for him to lie on, and you can stand with your legs either side of him, feet on the floor. Then you can basically sit down like that and its much easier to maneouvre as you have your feet on the floor.

About the shyness, he obviously loves your body so just remember that and do what you feel comfortable with. Voice your concerns to him re: the mechanics of it and he can help it happen with you. Good luck!!

We recently discovered the corner of the bed. Our bed is lowish to the ground (Ikea) and well he he lays on the corner with his feet flat on the floor, I have a seat to sit on and I can reach the floor just fine. With my belly there is no way he could lie on a bed with me on top during sex. I can get on top, theres like a whole foot of air he would have to get through, lol. I have chubby thighs too but my belly is my issue. Like they say though, where there is a will, there is a way.
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Old 05-13-2007, 08:07 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xdeementedxdeemonx View Post
OK, this is embarrassing...."well, to me"
anyways, i'm a bbw, i'm 5'1 (barely), and i am too shy to be on top when it comes to making love.
my b/f is 5'10 and is about 50lbs lighter than me, and im embarrassed coz im afraid i might squish him...lol.
plus when i do attempt to get on top of him (which always fails coz i'm too shy) i am so short my legs can barely touch the bed, floor, etc.
any suggestions?
please oh please help me get over this...
Aww, honey. Don't be embarrassed! Have you talked to your boyfriend about how you feel? Maybe his opinions on the matter would help you to feel more confident.
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Old 05-13-2007, 08:15 AM   #16
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gf's fairly bigger, with impossible thighs, and i remain uncrushed when she's on top so have at it. but be sure to make sure he's comfortable too if you get on top...like bbssbbw said, watch his face. also, not gonna lie: immediately after sex, she gains about 400 lbs.
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Old 05-13-2007, 09:06 AM   #17
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Default Yes, please

The first time my girlfriend and I ever got together I told her to get on top. She hesitated and said, "but-" which I interrupted with a more firm, "get on top!" She did, and even though she weighs twice as much as I do, I'm still alive and walking around with a dirty smile on my face.
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Old 05-13-2007, 09:37 AM   #18
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y'all knew this thread would attract me.
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Old 05-13-2007, 09:47 AM   #19
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My hubby loves it when i'm on top, and so do i.

it took some doing, i weigh about 300lbs, he himself is about half size of me, he lets me know if he gets uncomfortable, but it feels great.
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Old 05-13-2007, 09:56 AM   #20
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May sound silly but can you find a comfortable couch or even a weight lifting bench? I'm over 400 lbs, on the tall side with mega thighs. I wouldn't place too much weight on the chest, so he can breathe but everyone varies in weight bearing capacity. I haven't killed anyone yet and I've outweighed many by at least 180 lbs or so! Talk first, and as Lilly mentioned do other things, take baby steps. A mattress (okay I assume a bed) is a soft surface and allows for the one underneath you to breathe easily.
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Old 05-13-2007, 10:01 AM   #21
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Totally do-able.

Oh god, it makes me so sad that there's people out there not doing this out of fear. PLEASE GO DO IT NOW!!!
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Old 05-13-2007, 10:15 AM   #22
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By virtue of physics alone this has to be fine to do. It's not as though you'll be concentrating all of your weight in a small area (i guess i should stop standing on people's throats)-- you'll be evenly distributed as it were.

DO IT! Report back.
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Old 05-13-2007, 10:28 AM   #23
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I've been on top at 550lbs and not killed anyone. Dont do it until you are ready, and comfortable - but dont wait a second longer than that....

Tracey xx

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seth Warren View Post
The first time my girlfriend and I ever got together I told her to get on top. She hesitated and said, "but-" which I interrupted with a more firm, "get on top!" She did, and even though she weighs twice as much as I do, I'm still alive and walking around with a dirty smile on my face.
Seth, I think I love you
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Old 05-13-2007, 10:34 AM   #24
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I'm almost always on top, I enjoy being in control that way and I haven't ever had anyone complain. Wait til you get up the nerve to be on top during oral sex, nothing like it I tell ya!
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Old 05-13-2007, 10:36 AM   #25
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superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.superodalisque has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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i love being on top. i weigh 430 and its usually not too much of an issue. i do have very fat thighs, with a lot of fat behind my knees. i use special engineering tools--two pillows under my lover to raise him up. that saves the knee joints from spreading too much because of my weight and fat. if your knees don't reach the bed just bounce!!! i bet you are as cute as a button i don't think you could really hurt anyone you are still rather light and really soft i'm sure!
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