Do any kinda-thin, slightly chubby girls like chubby-medium fat guys?

[SamanthaNY]

Bob - the way I read his post - the OP isn't here looking for girls. He's here looking for reassurance that some woman, somewhere, might like guys like him. The post is all about him, and his insecurities with his appearance as it relates to women. He's been taught, like I was, that only thin=beautiful/disireable. He's not trying to pick anyone up - he's telling us about how he saw one hot girl with a big guy... and he's wondering if that could ever possibly happen for him. He doesn't understand how that's not wrong - but still... he's here, asking.

I see the post as all about himself, and his insecurities. Not about his dick. He's made a foray to a size acceptance site because maybe he's wondering if the information he's had as gospel for 20 years might possibly be wrong. That's why he sounds insulting - because it's what's he's been taught.

But at this point I'm spending way too much time reading into and trying to defend a point of view that only I see. He's apparently not coming back, so *shrug*, I'm not gonna bother anymore.

So yeah - back to skewering him. I'm sure you guys are right, and I'm just feeling mushy or nostalgic or something.

[AnnMarie]

Originally Posted by SamanthaNY

I see the post as all about himself, and his insecurities. Not about his dick.

FWIW, that comment was removed from Bob's post. It was a personal attack and is not allowed.

[Esme]

To me it sounds like an order for deli meat... kinda-thin, but not too fat....

Seems sad to me if the only requirement for a date/partner/whatever is a certain physical image. What are you going to talk about when you're not being physical?

Or I could just want a sandwich.

[TCUBOB]

Um, I'm confused....I don't think I quoted her post that had that comment....I think I quoted an earlier one. Or did I quote that one? Or did I do something wrong?

Originally Posted by AnnMarie

FWIW, that comment was removed from Bob's post. It was a personal attack and is not allowed.

[TCUBOB]

A sandwich WOULD be good right now. Maybe turkey....or roast beef. With cheese, some mayo, fresh tomatoes, in the toaster oven.....damn you, you sandwich-flaunting woman!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by Esme

To me it sounds like an order for deli meat... kinda-thin, but not too fat....

Seems sad to me if the only requirement for a date/partner/whatever is a certain physical image. What are you going to talk about when you're not being physical?

Or I could just want a sandwich.

[AnnMarie]

Originally Posted by TCUBOB

Um, I'm confused....I don't think I quoted her post that had that comment....I think I quoted an earlier one. Or did I quote that one? Or did I do something wrong?

A comment you made, in your original post, was removed (there is a moderation/edit note at the bottom of the post) as it was a personal attack and against the rules.

[TCUBOB]

Ahhh....my apologies.

I also got confused because you were quoting Sam's post replying to my post and well.....I get confused easily.

Originally Posted by AnnMarie

A comment you made, in your original post, was removed (there is a moderation/edit note at the bottom of the post) as it was a personal attack and against the rules.

[tonynyc]

Originally Posted by Esme

To me it sounds like an order for deli meat... kinda-thin, but not too fat....

Seems sad to me if the only requirement for a date/partner/whatever is a certain physical image. What are you going to talk about when you're not being physical?

Or I could just want a sandwich.

It's sad- but to some degree true- we all have a certain physical image in a partner that we find attractive. It's kind of like the physical image opens the door-but other factors (personality/common interest/etc.) seals the deal.


My comment to the OP

To join a size acceptance board and have a nick like chubbynhateit just reeks of self-loathing and will certianly create comments and questions from Dimmers.

For example... "Chubby and Hateing How?"

[Esme]

Originally Posted by tonynyc

It's sad- but to some degree true- we all have a certain physical image in a partner that we find attractive. It's kind of like the physical image opens the door-but other factors (personality/common interest/etc.) seals the deal.

Oh, I realize that we all have a certain physical image that appeals. My point, that I tried to make in a light-hearted way, is: if the only thing you put on your radar is the physical, then it's quite possible that it will be the only thing that you connect to, and while it's great to find your physical ideal, if there's nothing else to go with it, you can still wind up pretty darn lonely.

[Obesus]

...because we have a few zillion guys about his size over there asking everyone if they are considered fat! I used to think that it was inane, but I have begun to realize that even men who would be considered "average" size are frantic about their weight these days...men have joined the national "am I fat?" club...and a lot of them will probably wind up anorechic as a result. I think the bit about skinny women is very appropriate to the BHM/FFA board, since a fair number of the women there are not fat. It is very common for new posters to post to the BHM board when they should be on one of the other boards and I am thinking that this was a case in reverse. He might not have immediately realized what "BHM" actually stands for.

[kr7]

Guys! HELLOOO! Chubbynhateit is a troll. It's so not a genuine post. I agree with SlackerFA. His "getting laid" comment makes it crystal clear, even if I had any doubt from the general tone of the post. Looking for thinnish-chubbyish-whatever women on Dims Oh puhleeze!

[chubbynhateit]

Ladies and gentleman, first of all I am sorry if I have offended anyone here. I have horrible grammar for my age (barely passed english and lit/comp classes in high school and college). But let me explain something here. I do not "hate" fat people or anything, and the way I worded my original post messed people up here.

SamanthaNY is absolutely correct with what she has said. She is a mind reader. I never understood how people could do that in person, let alone from text on an internet forum. She is right in the fact that I have been taught certain things my entire life like that, whether it be from family or friends. All of my friends have drop-dead gorgeous g/fs (the ones who do have girls anyway), and I am the only one that hasn't had shit in the past few years. I was considering asking out a girl that was equal to me, but I did not because I feared my friends would not hang out with me anymore and my parents would make fun of me. I have liked certain women that were not "white" so to speak, and were not completely "black" either, but I ran away because of what my parents would say. I still live with them. If I had my own place it would be different.

I do not think with my cock. I have grown up most of my life being chubby, due to certain medications that I had to take when I was younger, but that is beside the point at this time in my life. Also, even though I am "only" 182 lbs, I am a fat 182. I have to suck my gut in all of the time, everywhere I go to feel comfortable. I have been doing this for the past 5 or 6 years. I can tell you right now, the friends and people that I have known for the past 5 years do NOT know what my real gut looks like, because I hold it in all of the time. For my high school graduation, I would have loved to have had a huge pool party with a ton of friends, but I didn't because I was pretty much the only fat one in the entire school. Everyone else was muscular and thin.

Nobody needs to know my whole life story here, but I am just saying. I just wanted to know if there was anyone here who thinks that maybe some girls like that. I dont know. I have tried to lose weight but just cannot do it as I love to eat.

Oh and I am not a troll either. I have respect for other people, big or not. Why would I hate fat people when I consider myself fat? That doesnt make sense. I am just at a loss here and don't know what to do with myself. I have wanted to have a girlfriend for a while but am just not confident enough to ask a girl that I think is good looking out on a date. I know I am not the only one.

Also, I get a lot of looks by girls all the time when I am driving. I have a really good job, make really good money and I always dress nice and try to clean up well. I drive a yellow 2005 Corvette convertible so that is why a lot of girls look.

Oh yeah, I havent been to the beach in 5 or 6 years either and I am dying to so I think this will be the year I go and not care what anyone thinks.

[Tina]

I am going to reiterate what TSL said here, because I think she said it well, so please pay special attention, as you won't last long here if you ignore particualrly numbers 1 and 2.

-- Moderator

Originally Posted by TheSadeianLinguist

Looking for "kinda thin" women on Dimensions is probably a waste of time. The few who are on here are either FFAs or here because they feel fat acceptance is an important political issue.

Tips:

1) When trying to get date on Dimensions, don't imply thin = good-looking.

2) A fat acceptance site is not a place to hate being chubby.

3) Being okay with being "chubby" comes from within, not from FFAs reassuring you you're a hottie.

[chubbynhateit]

Ok, sorry. I was trying to read all of the replies at once and could not process them all that quickly. It is hard for me to explain certain things, but I will try my best.

I was pissed when i hit post reply and found out i was banned after I had spent 20 minutes typing that out. Thanks for not deleting all of it.

Also I apologize, but I do not understand all of the terms people use here. I found this site by mistake searching on google for something and am probably posting at the completely opposite forum than I should be. I have seen the term BBW before and I always thought it meant Bad Black Women or something. I just now figured out what FFA means, but still do not know others.

[Green Eyed Fairy]

The urban cougar feels scorned by his <30 remark - so much for new meat....errrrrrrrrrr members


But apparently I'm too fat for him anyway so no more bothers

[lemmink]

There's always the BHM/FFA boards, yanno. We're down with boys with guts. Especially ones that don't hold 'em in.

I think there's gotta be a point where you quit caring about this stuff and just do what you want to do. I hope you make it to the beach. & move out of home too, which seems to be a good plan.

[holy crap]

Originally Posted by Obesus

anorechic

lol!

[elle camino]

hoo boy. here goes nothing.

Originally Posted by chubbynhateit

All of my friends have drop-dead gorgeous g/fs (the ones who do have girls anyway), and I am the only one that hasn't had shit in the past few years. I was considering asking out a girl that was equal to me, but I did not because I feared my friends would not hang out with me anymore and my parents would make fun of me.

ok, you can talk until you're blue in the face about how you suck at grammar and blah blah blah, and that very well may be true, but it's got NOTHING to do with what the real problem is, here. we're not misinterpreting you, dude. you are flat-out stating that you WANT a hot girlfriend, but since you're chubby and you can't lose weight, you're looking to settle for a chubby/fat (READ: NOT HOT) girl. and what WE are saying (well...those of us who are saying it), is that that kind of attitude towards fat women is NOT WHAT DIMENSIONS IS ABOUT. IN FACT IT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THE PREVAILING ETHOS AROUND THESE PARTS. CAPICE? CAN'T REALLY GET MUCH MORE CLEAR ON THIS SUBJECT. TAKE. YOUR. CRAPPY ATTITUDE ABOUT FAT WOMEN BEING SOMEHOW LESS THAN ATTRACTIVE. ELSEWHERE. there are a million and one other boards on the internet where fat women are insulted, ignored, and generally considered the bottom of the barrel. go post there if that's what you're on about.

Originally Posted by chubbynhateit

I have liked certain women that were not "white" so to speak, and were not completely "black" either, but I ran away because of what my parents would say. I still live with them. If I had my own place it would be different.

ok number one, get a spine. number two: didn't you say you have a good job and make good money and drive a flashy expensive car? aaaannndddd...you still live with your parents?
it's got nothing to do with my overall point, but still.
...huh?

Originally Posted by chubbynhateit

I have grown up most of my life being chubby, due to certain medications that I had to take when I was younger, but that is beside the point at this time in my life. Also, even though I am "only" 182 lbs, I am a fat 182. I have to suck my gut in all of the time, everywhere I go to feel comfortable. I have been doing this for the past 5 or 6 years. I can tell you right now, the friends and people that I have known for the past 5 years do NOT know what my real gut looks like, because I hold it in all of the time. For my high school graduation, I would have loved to have had a huge pool party with a ton of friends, but I didn't because I was pretty much the only fat one in the entire school. Everyone else was muscular and thin.

Nobody needs to know my whole life story here

we sure don't, but now that we do: welcome to the boat, duder. for the most part, we're all fat, and for the most part, we all know what it's like to go through spells of self loathing. which brings me to my next quote:

Originally Posted by chubbynhateit

Oh and I am not a troll either. I have respect for other people, big or not. Why would I hate fat people when I consider myself fat? That doesnt make sense.

actually it makes perfect sense. you think fat is unattractive, you consider yourself fat, therefore you consider yourself unattractive. ta daaa.

Originally Posted by chubbynhateit

I am just at a loss here and don't know what to do with myself. I have wanted to have a girlfriend for a while but am just not confident enough to ask a girl that I think is good looking out on a date. I know I am not the only one.

if any of us had a magic bullet that'd make you instantly feel better about yourself and make women fall out of the sky and into your lap, we'd be out making a billion dollars teaching seminars instead of in here dorking out on the internerd. but i'll tell you what's NOT going to work: being a self-loathing chubby guy who still somehow manages to consider himself too good for chubby girls.

seriously, you came to the right board if you want 2 out of every 3 people to feel sorry for you and coddle you along in the hopes you'll change your mind about hating fat eventually.
consider me that third person.
i don't think you've said anything that would warrant my sympathy, which you haven't sandwiched between two things that outright insult me and all the other gorgeous fat women on this board. there is a right way and a wrong way to go about introducing yourself and your problems to a community like dimensions.
the RIGHT way would be to hang around, lurk the different boards, NOTE THAT THIS IS A SIZE-ACCEPTANCE COMMUNITY WHERE THE FAT FEMALE FORM IS CELEBRATED ALONG WITH WITH THE FAT MALE FORM (as opposed to a place where ugly fat people hang out in the hopes that they'll be picked up by a thin attractive person) and eventually post something along the lines of:
"hey, i'm a little overweight and i've been feeling like it's the reason why women aren't attracted to me. i get an impression from the discussions around here, particularly on the BHM/FFA board, that there are indeed women who prefer fat men, so i'm just looking for a little confirm/deny action on that, if you please."
THAT post would have gotten about a dozen pages of shiny happiness and positive responses, rest assured.
the WRONG way would be to make your very first post essentially:
"hey, are there any thin, attractive women who find chubby guys attractive? not only am i chubby but i also have possibly the worst self esteem in human history. ladies form a line to my left. anyways, a while ago i saw a skinny good-looking chick on here who was with a big fat guy, and i was amazed! does that really happen??"
because in one single paragraph, you manage to insult fat women, fat men, and fat admirers.
and sweetheart, that's the entire population of this board.

i know what it's like to be fat, i know what it's like to be single, i know what it's like to feel like it's undeniable that those two things aren't directly connected, so i DO hope you find your way out of that before too terribly long. it's a horrible place where nobody deserves to be. but i and just about everyone else here who's gone through that same thing, managed to do so without making other people feel shitty about themselves. so it's in no way unreasonable for us to expect you to do the same.

[pattycake]

Originally Posted by elle camino

hoo boy. here goes nothing.

ok, you can talk until you're blue in the face about how you suck at grammar and blah blah blah, and that very well may be true, but it's got NOTHING to do with what the real problem is, here. we're not misinterpreting you, dude. you are flat-out stating that you WANT a hot girlfriend, but since you're chubby and you can't lose weight, you're looking to settle for a chubby/fat (READ: NOT HOT) girl. and what WE are saying (well...those of us who are saying it), is that that kind of attitude towards fat women is NOT WHAT DIMENSIONS IS ABOUT. IN FACT IT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THE PREVAILING ETHOS AROUND THESE PARTS. CAPICE? CAN'T REALLY GET MUCH MORE CLEAR ON THIS SUBJECT. TAKE. YOUR. CRAPPY ATTITUDE ABOUT FAT WOMEN BEING SOMEHOW LESS THAN ATTRACTIVE. ELSEWHERE. there are a million and one other boards on the internet where fat women are insulted, ignored, and generally considered the bottom of the barrel. go post there if that's what you're on about.



ok number one, get a spine. number two: didn't you say you have a good job and make good money and drive a flashy expensive car? aaaannndddd...you still live with your parents?
it's got nothing to do with my overall point, but still.
...huh?

we sure don't, but now that we do: welcome to the boat, duder. for the most part, we're all fat, and for the most part, we all know what it's like to go through spells of self loathing. which brings me to my next quote:



actually it makes perfect sense. you think fat is unattractive, you consider yourself fat, therefore you consider yourself unattractive. ta daaa.


if any of us had a magic bullet that'd make you instantly feel better about yourself and make women fall out of the sky and into your lap, we'd be out making a billion dollars teaching seminars instead of in here dorking out on the internerd. but i'll tell you what's NOT going to work: being a self-loathing chubby guy who still somehow manages to consider himself too good for chubby girls.

seriously, you came to the right board if you want 2 out of every 3 people to feel sorry for you and coddle you along in the hopes you'll change your mind about hating fat eventually.
consider me that third person.
i don't think you've said anything that would warrant my sympathy, which you haven't sandwiched between two things that outright insult me and all the other gorgeous fat women on this board. there is a right way and a wrong way to go about introducing yourself and your problems to a community like dimensions.
the RIGHT way would be to hang around, lurk the different boards, NOTE THAT THIS IS A SIZE-ACCEPTANCE COMMUNITY WHERE THE FAT FEMALE FORM IS CELEBRATED ALONG WITH WITH THE FAT MALE FORM (as opposed to a place where ugly fat people hang out in the hopes that they'll be picked up by a thin attractive person) and eventually post something along the lines of:
"hey, i'm a little overweight and i've been feeling like it's the reason why women aren't attracted to me. i get an impression from the discussions around here, particularly on the BHM/FFA board, that there are indeed women who prefer fat men, so i'm just looking for a little confirm/deny action on that, if you please."
THAT post would have gotten about a dozen pages of shiny happiness and positive responses, rest assured.
the WRONG way would be to make your very first post essentially:
"hey, are there any thin, attractive women who find chubby guys attractive? not only am i chubby but i also have possibly the worst self esteem in human history. ladies form a line to my left. anyways, a while ago i saw a skinny good-looking chick on here who was with a big fat guy, and i was amazed! does that really happen??"
because in one single paragraph, you manage to insult fat women, fat men, and fat admirers.
and sweetheart, that's the entire population of this board.

i know what it's like to be fat, i know what it's like to be single, i know what it's like to feel like it's undeniable that those two things aren't directly connected, so i DO hope you find your way out of that before too terribly long. it's a horrible place where nobody deserves to be. but i and just about everyone else here who's gone through that same thing, managed to do so without making other people feel shitty about themselves. so it's in no way unreasonable for us to expect you to do the same.

^
What she said!

[Pookie]

Originally Posted by elle camino

hoo boy. here goes nothing.

ok, you can talk until you're blue in the face about how you suck at grammar and blah blah blah, and that very well may be true, but it's got NOTHING to do with what the real problem is, here. we're not misinterpreting you, dude. you are flat-out stating that you WANT a hot girlfriend, but since you're chubby and you can't lose weight, you're looking to settle for a chubby/fat (READ: NOT HOT) girl. and what WE are saying (well...those of us who are saying it), is that that kind of attitude towards fat women is NOT WHAT DIMENSIONS IS ABOUT. IN FACT IT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THE PREVAILING ETHOS AROUND THESE PARTS. CAPICE? CAN'T REALLY GET MUCH MORE CLEAR ON THIS SUBJECT. TAKE. YOUR. CRAPPY ATTITUDE ABOUT FAT WOMEN BEING SOMEHOW LESS THAN ATTRACTIVE. ELSEWHERE. there are a million and one other boards on the internet where fat women are insulted, ignored, and generally considered the bottom of the barrel. go post there if that's what you're on about.
.

*applauds and hands over a cookie*

your attitude towards the ugly chubby/fat women is exactly what I come to this board to AVOID I can go anywhere to be considered second even third best, anywhere and be 'dont like the look of yours much' this board is a sweet safe place where we come and are made to feel GOOD about ourselves as we damn well deserve too!

Nobody, even the thinner therefore WAY sexier/cuter/desirable according to you women are going to give you the time of day after the crap you spouted at a place that promotes size acceptance and that beauty can be at any size.

If you are that bugged about being 'chubby' go join a vapid board that promotes diets, tanning and insane work outs until you match your FABBERLOUS car that girls evidently drool over /sarcasm

[Blondeegrldd]

Originally Posted by chubbynhateit

All of my friends have drop-dead gorgeous g/fs (the ones who do have girls anyway), and I am the only one that hasn't had shit in the past few years. I was considering asking out a girl that was equal to me, but I did not because I feared my friends would not hang out with me anymore and my parents would make fun of me.

::Shudders::

Referring to obtaining a girlfriend as 'having shit' is not going to help you in the quest to get laid. Don't worry, you'll still get lucky, because there are plenty of desperate women out there (of ALL sizes and levels of 'good looking').

You'll just have to end this pity party if you want some ass without the help of liquor.

[one_shy_writer]

"I was considering asking out a girl that was equal to me, but I did not because I feared my friends would not hang out with me anymore and my parents would make fun of me."

You don't get it, do you? What you just said with that statement is that you think if you dated a "kinda-thin, slightly chubby" girl, your friends and family would look down on you! You really think that! Which means that even though you say you don't look down on fat people, which is just talk, your actions say you are extremely ashamed of them. And since you have such a tragic self-image, where you say you have to be drunk just to deal with your body enough to have sex with someone, you would probably hurt the hell out of any girl who you saw as your "equal" because you would see HER as inferior to the "hot" girls you so desire, and treat her as such.

Do all the girls out there a favor and DON'T DATE. A couple of years ago, when I was precisely your age, I dated a guy who, like you, was very insecure about his body. He thought I was one of the "hot girls" he could never get, but even so, he projected all his self-image issues on ME. If something I wore didn't flatter me, he'd accuse me of "getting fat," and said he would be embarrassed to be seen with me if I wore that. HE, at almost 300 pounds, was telling ME, at half his size, that he would be embarrassed to be seen with me! That wasn't because I actually looked bad, but because HE had self-image issues.

And THAT is precisely what you would do to any girl you would settle for, since you can't get a smokin' hottie. You're despicable. You see women as a status symbol, which is disgusting. You don't deserve ANY girl with this kind of mindset, regardless of what she looked like.

You need to come to terms with the fact that it's probably not your body, it's your shitty attitude toward girls that is keeping you from getting a steady girlfriend. Girls can tell this sort of thing; you were surprised at one poster's ability to read your mind. Guess what? It's a girl thing. We can TELL when you have a bad attitude towards women, and we'll get as far away from you as we can.

So you want a hottie girlfriend? Come to terms with your self-image, and STOP SEEING WOMEN AS A STATUS SYMBOL! You don't date a girl for how she looks walking beside you, you date her for how your personalites click, how well you get along, and how much you're mutually attracted to each other, physically and otherwise. Until you figure this out, DO NOT DATE, because you will do nothing but hurt girls, and damage THEIR self-image when your inability to deal with your issues manifests itself on them.

[Pookie]

*applauds again and hands out another cookie*

very well said Shy writer

[one_shy_writer]

*munches grumpily on cookie*

Guess I wasn't very shy that time, eh? Might have to change my nickname...

[Obesus]

....since I manage a psychiatric clinic where we see patients with this disorder... "anorexic" would be the layman's version, but "x" doesn't actually work that way in English....

Originally Posted by holy crap

lol!