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Old 12-01-2007, 02:30 AM   #51
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Originally Posted by fatchicksrockuk View Post
I think suggesting he gets help for his fantasy is a very dangerous suggestion. To 90% of the general public, there is probably no difference between an FA and a Feeder. It's only a small step away from saying FA's should seek treatment to make them normal, or saying we should try to cure gay people. You simply can't. So long as he is not hurting anyone else with his fantasy, in my opinion, nothing wrong with it. He should be congratulated for being brave enough to post here, where he has got the reaction that he probably expected.
Yeah well, you can make a step from anything to anything if you put your mind to it. Trying to act like this is a referendum on feederism in general is muddying the issue; he acknowledged in his own post that he was troubled by the particular fantasy mentioned in the OP, not his love of fat women. I'm not saying there's something wrong with him mentally for having the fantasy (although he had to have known it would be shocking when he posted it here), it's just that thoughts like that are not healthy to keep around in one's head, especially for someone who regularly dates larger women (tho again, I totally believe him that he would never ever act on those thoughts). I don't think it was inappropriate advice.

And thanks for the title change, mods.
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Old 12-01-2007, 06:26 AM   #52
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I share some, not all, of your fantasies. Many people in my life who know me well know I'm an FA. NO ONE* knows I have feeder fantasies, including the woman I've lived with for 18 years. I am not proud of my feeder fantasies, and I'm not proud of the fact that it's a secret. But I don't like the idea of fantasies that involve hurting or manipulating other people, so my "solution" is to put those feelings into a box on a shelf, accept it as part of me and go on with my life.

(* that is, no one who knows my complete real name, except CCBill and a few independent video companies.)

The creation of the Dimensions Weight Board was a mixed bag for me. On one hand, it was exciting to have a forum for my fantasies, and enlightening and somewhat comforting that I wasn't alone in my feelings (similar to finding Dimensions the magazine a few years prior and "discovering" other FAs). On the other hand, I admit it's allowed me to wallow in certain ugly aspects of my fantasies in ways where I was no longer such a passive observer and the results were no longer fantasy. I'm referring to the fact that over the years, real feedees have been on these boards, and have been cheered on by feeders, and even helped in more direct ways, and some of them have suffered severe consequences. For this reason, I no longer cheer on people to gain. I have however patronized sites and bought videos from women who were obvious feedees, including ones who weren't necessarily headed for a healthy place, physically or mentally. It's more passive, sure, and everyone involved is a consenting adult, and this is a free country, etc, but when I step back from it, I'm still disturbed by it, for myself and the people more actively involved.

I still like the idea of an open forum where people like me can (let's face it) get our rocks off in a free, safe way, but the nature of the internet is that it casts such a big net that we just KNOW there are people out there who are taking it very seriously and harming themselves and others. I have been here since the start of this site, and this has been a source of tension from the beginning, when there was a fraction of the amount of people involved. It's a source of tension inside me, and after 10 years I still don't have an answer to it.

Issues of free speech and open communication aren't easy ones. I still believe that we have a right to what we feel, and that when there's a controversy, the greater good is to have it out in an open way. I think the moderators here do their best to try and wrangle this into a discussion, and I know that opposing views in the forum, while sometimes annoying, have made me question what it's all about, and what is acceptable behavior even in the anonymous free-for-all of the internet. Even this thread contains many severely dissenting and downright horrified responses that are perhaps a much-needed cold bucket of water on the whole situation. Again, taking the whole thing out of it's cave is beneficial. We can learn and stay human.

I don't know... I don't know... there's a lot more to say, but this is an internet forum, not the Encyclopedia Feederica. The discussion goes on.

Last edited by altered states; 12-01-2007 at 06:31 AM.
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Old 12-01-2007, 06:32 AM   #53
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Thankyou for your second post, Anonymous. I've very much enjoyed reading this thread, looking at all the differing opinions/takes on the situation, and also being educated. I do feel that I HAVE been educated on here and been able to make an adjustment to my first reaction.

I was thinking about how I do know other people who have fantasies almost to the extent of yours, but they don't go as far as the enjoyment of the dirtiness, distress etc of the women.... or.. do they? Maybe some of them do too, but would just never admit to it. I'm sure many people have pretty extreme fantasies but never feel able to vocalise them in case they are told they need help, like you have been told on this thread. Lots of women as stated before, have rape or gang bang fantasies, but they would NEVER want to experience that, as the reality would be horrific. I don't think they need help. So, I can see that a kind and caring person could have a dark fantasy which involves some humiliation, control etc, while never wanting to live it out in reality.

You said about not dating ssbbw because you are worried that you would be encouraging her to get bigger etc. That shows concern in itself for a woman's health and wellbeing. However, do you not feel concern at encouraging smaller bbws to get bigger then, or do you just feel they have further to go before the weight would affect their health? Different people have different health issues at very different sizes. Or is it that the size of an ssbbw triggers off those darker fantasies? Im really interested to know. And I know that a lot of men with feeder tendencies do have that concern/guilt feelings about wanting a woman so big it affects her health, and guilt about being turned on by her being out of breath and struggling to do everyday things. It would appear to be an issue that feeders have, and I'd be more concerned if you didn't have those guilt/concern feelings about your turn-on.

I must say though, I hope to God you DON'T ever get the opportunity to fulfill the 800lb weekend girl thing (yes I know its not likely anyway), because that would just be totally using her as a sex object, then disappearing again, guilt-free because you didn't get her that size. Use her for your own most base sexual turn on, but never consider her as anything more. But I don't see this as something you would need to "get help for" either. I just see that as something a horny selfish person could do.

Now Im rambling.... I don't think you need help, if you do just keep some of the fantasy in your head, you know the parts I mean. If those parts were to get more and more important to you and you really wanted to live them out, then sure, see someone, but I think I'm very much stating the obvious there and you clearly have total insight.

Last edited by Ruby Ripples; 12-01-2007 at 06:40 AM.
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Old 12-01-2007, 07:25 AM   #54
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I'm sorry I sort of expected you to be a troll.
I don't know, i guess your post sort of dehumanized you for me, and I may have reacted very coldly.
The concern you've just shown really shows me you're a nice guy with some fantasies you don't understand.
Often times we'll develope fantasies, sexual preferences, or fetishes we don't come close to understanding, but we learn to accept them to the best of our ability.
I was on a bit of a high horse myself reacting in such a rude manner, you have fantasies I can't come close to understanding and I reacted harshly, but at the end of the day, says the woman purposely trying to gain a lot of weight.

I'm not nearly open enough to talk about fantasies and such, so it's good that you could just throw it out there, call it what it is, a fantasy, and say it doesn't make you a freak we should all burn with torches and chase with pitchforks. Though we clearly reacted in classic angry mob fashion.

Which I once again apologize for. I appreciate your sincerity, keep a healthy attitude about your fantasies, I certainly don't understand them really, but just don't worry about it I guess. Keep it in your head, or discuss it like this anonymously if you like. As long as you get a vent for your fantasies.
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Old 12-01-2007, 08:00 AM   #55
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I appreciate your second response. It helped to clarify things.

Thank you for posting it.

I'm still freaked out, but its my problem, and no one else's.
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Old 12-01-2007, 08:38 AM   #56
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. We have threads for posting ... penises .
Never once saw one
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Old 12-01-2007, 04:00 PM   #57
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...that any one of us ever entertains evil fantasies as we live and breath? I'll call them evil because I have them too and they ARE evil. For instance, I often imagine great satifaction from putting a bullet in the head of the last punk cop that harrassed me--but I'm not going to do it, nor will I ever--and I should think that no one else would approve of it either, nor is it a topic I need to discuss, but for the sake of illustration.

From time to time or even on a daily basis we all wrestle with unhealthy thoughts and inclinations and anyone who says they don't is either a saint or a liar. Most of us are never driven to act upon them, because as mad as we all seem in part to be, we distinguish between the right and wrong of it and leave it at that. Those who do not and cross over that line will inevitably endure the Newtonian principle of the equal and opposite reaction--sooner or later, sane or insane.

In my opinion, if wicked thoughts are getting the best of you, you should seek counsel or some greater enlightenment, rather than fulfilment of such dark lusts. You yourself have indicated that your own conscience prevents you from making pain for someone else (at the expense of their health or life) so the point is moot; you are still human and even (by your own admission) humane.

What good you've served by getting these things off of your chest in this arena is between you and your gods and/or demons. It isn't possible for any of us to examine you or your motivations, but for you to take that responsibility for yourself.

As for me, this thread holds no further interest. To your wisdom and healthy peace of mind then, sir.
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Old 12-01-2007, 06:47 PM   #58
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*from Moderator*

Just a reminder to people responding to this to follow the board rules.

You can answer his questions, share opinions, but you are NOT to jump all over him, name call, or be generally negative and snarky.

I'm wondering if this guy is really serious, or if he's just trying to degrade us "big" girls without getting an earful...just a thought.
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Old 12-01-2007, 06:52 PM   #59
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I'm wondering if this guy is really serious, or if he's just trying to degrade us "big" girls without getting an earful...just a thought.
He has posted back and addressed that, if you look higher in this thread.
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Old 12-01-2007, 06:59 PM   #60
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See, this makes no sense to me. So people should seek professional help whenever a fantasy pops up in someone's mind that is not on the Approved List of the Harper Valley PTA?

No one has any clue why whatever turns us on turns us on. I dare to say that just about anyone has some fantasies that would be troubling and disturbing to someone else. So we make people ashamed of their fantasy life that they have no influence over in the first place. What turns me on is cool and sexy, what turns you on is disgusting and demented.

This is precisely why most people do not talk about their fantasies. And maybe they shouldn't, given what a hypocritical society and people we are. Many couples do not share their fantasies either, and one day they realize the spark is all gone, and all they have left is their inner fantasy life.

Further, some folks appear to have a real problem distinguishing between fantasy and real life. Which is odd as it's pretty clear to your average human being where the line is. What goes and what does not. In real life, whatever is safe, sane and consentual goes, whatever is not, not. And that is for two people to decide. May the first person who has never had a socially unacceptable or improper sexual fantasy object.

Had I ignored my own fantasies, of whom I was ashamed of when I grew up because I did not know anyone else was turned on by fat women and that others were also outraged when fat people were belittled and attacked, there would be no Dimensions. Fortunately, at some point I found NAAFA and likeminded people, and the rest is history.

What the OP stated is extreme, as he acknowledged, and the sole question was whether or not to drop the hammer of censorship. Dimensions covers the gamut of the human size experience, and that includes the extreme self-hatred we occasionally encounter to exposure to extreme fantasy. The borders are always gray and somewhat undefined. Reasonable discussion of how many standard deviations from the mean the cutoff should be are always welcome.


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Hey, I don't think you're a bad person or anything for having these fantasies (though I find them incredibly troubling); I just think it's on the wrong board and could be seen by kids. Hell, even a name change to indicate the content of the thread would be helpful.

AnonymousFeeder, I would get help for these fantasies if I were you, especially if you're worried about them impacting your behavior and possibly causing you to hurt somebody else (granted in a not-too-easily accessible situation). Leaving this kind of thing to mull around in your head is unhealthy, and I don't think any of us here are licensed offer anything but advice.
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Old 12-01-2007, 07:03 PM   #61
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As much as it is sickening, really, it's up to you and your partner, so long as she has the free will.

I'm turned on by ladies eating and stuffing, but not by immobile blobs.

Last edited by AnnMarie; 12-01-2007 at 07:08 PM.
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Old 12-01-2007, 07:37 PM   #62
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As much as it is sickening, really, it's up to you and your partner, so long as she has the free will.

I'm turned on by ladies eating and stuffing, but not by immobile blobs.
blobs????? WAY to dehumanize. Now I REALLY wish I'd seen this before AnnMarie saw it and edited it!
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Old 12-01-2007, 08:00 PM   #63
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blobs????? WAY to dehumanize. Now I REALLY wish I'd seen this before AnnMarie saw it and edited it!
I'd changed it to "imobility" and removed blobs, but then figured he should just stand by his words. So I reinstated.
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Old 12-01-2007, 08:19 PM   #64
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I understand the difference between graphic fantasy and reality. What bothers me about this thread, and that it has been allowed to stand, is the extreme undertones of violence, degradation, and murder. The OP referred to women as 'pigs'. He casually stated, as if he were simply discussing the weather, that he'd like to feed a woman unto immobility, and then death. And again, I know: FANTASY. I just happen to believe that some things are better left unshared. I said before, I wouldn't share my own dark rape fantasies on a message board frequented by actual rape victims. Well, here at Dims there are a lot of men & women who are dealing with their own health issues, and a lot of them (like myself) grapple with extreme fear of weight gain leading to immobility & the helpless vulnerability of relying on other people for caregiving. That is a reality. It is part of *my* reality, as I have struggled with recent weight gain & the foreshadowing of health problems that I had prior to forced weight loss.

I'm not a prude, or the morality police. And certain aspects of feederism are erotic to me, as well. Just the idea that something I have struggled with my whole life .... food ... and the shame I've often felt over compulsive eating ... and the fact that to some men, it would be OK (more than OK) for me to indulge & enjoy myself ... well, it's a nice fantasy.

What I saw in the intial post (and again, in the OP's follow up, though he was careful to sanitize & qualify himself) is a dominant theme of ... extreme, extreme disrespect to the women that he claims to love. And I can't help but feel that allowing his post to stand (while deleting those that have been critical) is another form of disrespect.
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Old 12-01-2007, 08:35 PM   #65
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This message board isn't frequented by murder-by-feeder victims.

Problem solved.
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Old 12-01-2007, 09:16 PM   #66
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Feed to DEATH ?????
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Old 12-01-2007, 09:16 PM   #67
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I have a fantasy, too.

It's that I'm fattened up to 600 pounds.

Then to 800 pounds.

Then to 1200 pounds.

Then to 1600 pounds.




To be continued, that is, if any interest is shown.




I have to take a break to go stuff my belly again.
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Old 12-01-2007, 09:17 PM   #68
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When I first read this thread I did cry because it reminded me of a dear friend I lost to feederism last spring.She was in fact the life of the thread. And that makes me wonder deep down even though you say it is just fantasy would you really do it if you had the chance? If some young girl or older lady for that matter was in your hands and felt she had nothing to loose and was at your mercy would you really carry out this fantasy. My friends feeder did without even realizing it until she was gone. I will say she was not allowed to lie in filth or like a dirty pig she was well taken care of but even after a few health scares she continued to gain because she wanted to and he loved her for it. Now he blames himself for her death and beats himself up for it everyday. So ask yourself deep in your heart would you make this fantasy come true if you could?
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Old 12-02-2007, 04:04 AM   #69
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This message board isn't frequented by murder-by-feeder victims.

Problem solved.
Rebecca, I'm curious: Are you a feedee? I seem to recall that you've mentioned this before, but I'm not 100% sure. I ask because I'm curious about your motivation for responding as you have. At any rate, I'm not entirely sure that what you've said above is true ... but I think that's beside the point anyway. This message board *is* frequented by people who are terrified at the thought of gaining to immobility or other serious health problems. The OP's post is most unwelcome by those of us who are. I believe that it is seriously unwelcome, in fact, by those of us who love and respect women, irrespective of weight gain fantasies.
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Old 12-02-2007, 04:59 AM   #70
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I have some doubt over whether the original poster is for real, not because I doubt that people have these fantasies but because I'm suspicious of the motives behind posting it.

The fantasy is about degrading, ruining the health of, maybe murdering women of this community. Sure, it's a fantasy. But still.

Obviously this pushes the buttons of every BBW who has a streak of vulnerability but with self preservation instinct intact, which is almost everyone. For that reason it goes beyond the standard feeder stuff posted (yeah, I know there's more intense fantasy on the story forums but I never go there anyway) here, reaching to offend.

In a sense every thread, every post on Dimensions represents our community. I don't think this is merely an issue of finger-pointing and uptight hypocrites and PC-ness. I'm not saying the thread should be yanked. But without dissent the thread represents us as not only tolerating but encouraging these fantasies.

P.S. I know the "safe haven" policy here has been implemented because posters couldn't post about their fantasies without being mocked or judged. Where is the line? AnonymousFeeder's post tests that - maybe deliberately, I don't know.
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Old 12-02-2007, 03:04 PM   #71
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Epic psychoanalyzing incoming:

-The OP goes on constantly about how he's always respectful and whatnot... some of the fantasy seems to have undertones of disrespect. I think it's just that with the extreme taken to giving every ounce of respect, the ability to break free of that barrier seems to be part of it, if that is actually there. Kinda like how part of a feeding fantasy can be just losing control over yourself.
-The absolute extremes of it are nothing crazy when you think about it... things that you'd kill for when you're horny and seem like the most appealing thing in the world can become very, VERY gross or insane after you've, err, "calmed down"
-The force feeding is nothing too unheard of. Neither is immobility, nor a woman who smells (for these two also look at the next bullet).
-As for the unhealthiness, I think it's just because it makes the woman seem absolutely beyond ridiculously like a fat pig (I use pig because honestly no other word is as appropriate for it, I mean no disrespect). Fat is often shown in society as unhealthy and extreme weights are seen as really really unhealthy, so... that's really just an extension of it. Same w/immobility. While I admit the whole "on oxygen just to survive" thing is definitely to an extreme, I can't say it caught me too offguard... obviously when you fantasize about something you know you won't have it can get crazy. The insane unhealthiness is in the same category as immobility and whatnot I would say, just to an even greater extreme. Obviously while in fantasy it sounds fun, it really probably wouldn't be in reality, but that's just IMO.
-Fantasies are just that. Clearly the OP has a good sense of self control and knows where his boundaries lie, hence saying how he avoids really large women. It's kinda like someone not getting a credit card because they know they'd have trouble controlling themself with it. No need for therapy here, at least from what I can tell from the post. Hell, knowing when to get something off your chest is good.

...I may need to make an actual account on these boards, I keep getting the urge to post
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Old 12-02-2007, 03:51 PM   #72
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Originally Posted by Lurker430 View Post
Epic psychoanalyzing incoming:

-As for the unhealthiness, I think it's just because it makes the woman seem absolutely beyond ridiculously like a fat pig (I use pig because honestly no other word is as appropriate for it, I mean no disrespect). Fat is often shown in society as unhealthy and extreme weights are seen as really really unhealthy, so... that's really just an extension of it. Same w/immobility. While I admit the whole "on oxygen just to survive" thing is definitely to an extreme, I can't say it caught me too offguard... obviously when you fantasize about something you know you won't have it can get crazy. The insane unhealthiness is in the same category as immobility and whatnot I would say, just to an even greater extreme. Obviously while in fantasy it sounds fun, it really probably wouldn't be in reality, but that's just IMO.
"Probably"? The guy talks about ignoring if she has a heart attack; that's beyond fantasy in my book and is different territory entirely.
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Old 12-02-2007, 03:52 PM   #73
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Misogyny as Fantasy is just wrong anyway you slice it.

I have 15 years of Foster care and had to live with some very twisted other kids. This is the same type of 'fantasy' whether with food,gun,knife,rope whatever. I would hear them go on about Ad nauseaum. Any BDSM people I knew in my later years were quite proud of it and would not hide behind an anonymous tag.

I am not piling on this guy but for Christ sakes there are 1000 other boards whether Mirc or Web that he could have gone and posted on. Yet he chooses the most well respected mostly clean Size acceptance site there is and ask this dribble.

I am also boggled why Ann-Marie (who is the BEST MOD on any board I go too) would set up any ground rules for this. If he/she is up to asking these questions whether anonymously or in their handle they should be up to any kind of response they get.


I might be wrong but I seriously doubt when Conrad started this the 3 words 'Feed to death' were ever in play in his mind. I might be wrong but I doubt it.
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Old 12-02-2007, 04:42 PM   #74
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Originally Posted by chapelhillmensch View Post

I am also boggled why Ann-Marie (who is the BEST MOD on any board I go too) would set up any ground rules for this. If he/she is up to asking these questions whether anonymously or in their handle they should be up to any kind of response they get.

I didn't set up ground rules for this post, I reminded those who would be reading and responding of the existing board rules (available in a sticky at the top of this forum). I knew the thread would be controversial and troubled, so the pre-warning to keep rules in mind seemed prudent.

Nothing more, nothing less.

And thank you, hopefully this reply puts things in context for you.
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Old 12-02-2007, 05:51 PM   #75
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Originally Posted by chapelhillmensch View Post
Misogyny as Fantasy is just wrong anyway you slice it.

I have 15 years of Foster care and had to live with some very twisted other kids. This is the same type of 'fantasy' whether with food,gun,knife,rope whatever. I would hear them go on about Ad nauseaum. Any BDSM people I knew in my later years were quite proud of it and would not hide behind an anonymous tag.

I am not piling on this guy but for Christ sakes there are 1000 other boards whether Mirc or Web that he could have gone and posted on. Yet he chooses the most well respected mostly clean Size acceptance site there is and ask this dribble.

I am also boggled why Ann-Marie (who is the BEST MOD on any board I go too) would set up any ground rules for this. If he/she is up to asking these questions whether anonymously or in their handle they should be up to any kind of response they get.


I might be wrong but I seriously doubt when Conrad started this the 3 words 'Feed to death' were ever in play in his mind. I might be wrong but I doubt it.
What are you, the Thought Police? It's not even ABOUT misogyny.
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