Lame Excuses

CAMellie · 12-13-2007, 06:52 AM

Being dumped REALLY sucks! Especially when you're given the most lame-o reasons in the universe.

My last dumping was because:
"You don't like to feed the cat people food and I do. You also don't want a fish tank in the bedroom and I do."
I...shit...you...NOT!

Share with me the lame excuses you've heard. I need a serious pick-me-up right now, please.

Surlysomething · 12-13-2007, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CAMellie

Being dumped REALLY sucks! Especially when you're given the most lame-o reasons in the universe.

My last dumping was because:
"You don't like to feed the cat people food and I do. You also don't want a fish tank in the bedroom and I do."
I...shit...you...NOT!

Share with me the lame excuses you've heard. I need a serious pick-me-up right now, please.

Are you serious? People are insane.

SuperMishe · 12-13-2007, 10:09 AM

Ok - This isn't an excuse for being dumped, but it's still fricken hilarious! LOL!
The following details my be a little "off" but the excuse is completely 100% real! LOL!!

My friend met a guy online thru BBWDatefinder. Emails and phone calls followed and at one point she thought she smelled a wife, but he assured her there was no such thing. They talked about meeting and set a date.

Fast forward two weeks after the date they were supposed to meet and he finally calls her - here's his excuse - are you ready?.. lol...

He got on a bus and traveled from NY to Boston to meet her. When he arrived in Boston, he realized he forgot his cell phone, therefore he didn't have her number to call her to say he was in Boston, so he got back on the bus and went back to NY!!!

Apparently it took him two weeks to find his phone to call her and tell her that too! LMAO!!! Men!!!

chocolate desire · 12-13-2007, 10:11 AM

(((Mellie)))) you know I got mad love for you! sorry you had to go thru this.

Dr. Feelgood · 12-13-2007, 12:11 PM

I once had a girlfriend who refused to have sex with me because I was not a Communist.

Shosh · 12-13-2007, 12:25 PM

Mellie,

You know what? You are a beautiful, warm and funny lady. Are you shitting me about the bloody fish tank?

Your heart shall go on. ( I hate that friggin song

)

Upstate New York Foodee · 12-13-2007, 12:39 PM

You didn't need that pinko bitch anyway, Dr. Feelgood. But I am biased against commies

CAMellie, I have a little South Park jingle that should make you feel better. Watch the South Park episode entitled "The Biggest Douche in the Universe" and sing the little song that is heard towards the end of the episode:

http://www.southparkzone.com/episode.php?vid=615

"Here he comes...the biggest douche in the Universe"

It kind of lifts my spirits.

Seth Warren · 12-13-2007, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Upstate New York Foodee

You didn't need that pinko bitch anyway, Dr. Feelgood. But I am biased against commies

Watch it there, Komrad, the Revolution is afoot! (Would be a meter, if your filthy capitalist country would go metric.)

In the past, my lame dumpings usually translated into, "I want to sleep with your friends, but I'm too much of a prude to suggest an open relationship, so I'm just going to cheat on you. Eventually you'll find out, at which be point a break-up will be a welcome relief because I've been so insufferable to you because of my Catholic guilt."

Okay, actually I think that was just one time...

And I guess that isn't so much lame as it is deceptive and subversive.

Dhaunae · 12-13-2007, 03:37 PM

Shame on you Mellie for not wanting a fish tank in your bedroom! :P I would have to agree that it was a rather lame excuse. You're much better off without someone who would dump you for silly reasons. Sometimes I wonder how difficult it is for people to just be honest and say "I'm sorry, it's just not working out."

On a side note, perhaps the fish tank was a good idea.. You could have suggested a shark tank and told him he would be said shark's first meal. *nods sagely*

BothGunsBlazing · 12-13-2007, 03:42 PM

I got dumped because I was under 500lbs once. She told me I was anorexic. I was like c'mon baby I'm 499! I'll get there *eats play dough* don't leave meeeee!

TheSadeianLinguist · 12-13-2007, 03:49 PM

The worst breakup is the one that doesn't break up, but lingers on painfully for months or years without mutual love.

Suze · 12-13-2007, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BothGunsBlazing

I got dumped because I was under 500lbs once. She told me I was anorexic. I was like c'mon baby I'm 499! I'll get there *eats play dough* don't leave meeeee!

I'm not surprised she dumped you....u see, dough wont do. It’s the tube that is the shiz!!!

Maxx Awesome · 12-13-2007, 04:01 PM

"Peter, if you can't trust me, this relationship isn't going to work." (after I took her back despite cheating on me, like... forever).
The above reason itself isn't lame, but the fact was that it was her super-secret code for "I'm currently banging someone else behind your back & have been for ages."

Say Hello to the Angels · 12-13-2007, 04:12 PM

"Relationships are passe."

Cinda · 12-13-2007, 04:19 PM

You should have told him you'd compromise with a water bed and one of those passe singing fish to hang on the wall

and agreed the cat could have his food if he ate the cat's food.

If he wouldn't agree to that he's really a loser, I mean, honestly

I suggest next time you date a few months before you get us all excited ya know? Sorry it didn't work out.

elle camino · 12-13-2007, 04:27 PM

this was discussed ad nauseum in another thread, but "i didn't realize you were...seriously fat." was a fucking classic among classics.

Maxx Awesome · 12-13-2007, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elle camino

this was discussed ad nauseum in another thread, but "i didn't realize you were...seriously fat." was a fucking classic among classics.

"Seriously fat" as opposed to "light-heartedly fat"?

elle camino · 12-13-2007, 04:33 PM

as opposed to hilariously fat.

Blackjack_Jeeves · 12-13-2007, 04:42 PM

Like most here, Mellie, I wish you the best. Obviously this guy was not suitable for someone as wonderful as you. How is it some guys can take the world for granted?

As one poster said, you should have left him to the sharks.

mimosa · 12-13-2007, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSadeianLinguist

The worst breakup is the one that doesn't break up, but lingers on painfully for months or years without mutual love.

Yes, that was my story. I might tell it some day.

love dubh · 12-13-2007, 05:30 PM

"My Other Girlfriend Says I Have to Leave You."

That's actually a song title, but aptly described one situation.

mimosa · 12-13-2007, 05:33 PM

Just wanted to show my support, Mellie. *hugs*

Chimpi · 12-13-2007, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CAMellie

"You don't like to feed the cat people food and I do. You also don't want a fish tank in the bedroom and I do."

If it is actually a true and sincere reason for him to break up with you (whenever that was), I don't think that's the type of person you should have around you during long periods of time anyway... Psycho, to say the least.

A co-worker of mine called in one day with "my car broke down last night before my gig (he's a professional rocker) and is not fixed yet. I won't be making it in today." It's a Toyota Camry. Okay, well, take the bus? Or a cab? Or how about your other two cars you own that you have brought in to show us?? (A Chevrolet Camaro and a Nissan 350Z)

BothGunsBlazing · 12-13-2007, 05:42 PM

I've used this on more than one occasion.

"wow .. you looked a lot fatter in your pictures"

cold comfort · 12-13-2007, 06:28 PM

well at the very least mellie, absolutely no worries ... cuz i mean ...

would you even WANT to be with a dude who honestly judges whether or not to be in a relationship over the location of a fish tank?

yeeeah. i'm just sayin'.

you're way better off, girlie. and you'll find far more amazing than that!

as for myself, yeah... i've heard a few really ridiculous ones.

kick 'em to the curb.

12-13-2007, 06:52 AM	#1
CAMellie Momma's Pretty Baby Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: California Posts: 4,022	Lame Excuses Being dumped REALLY sucks! Especially when you're given the most lame-o reasons in the universe. My last dumping was because: "You don't like to feed the cat people food and I do. You also don't want a fish tank in the bedroom and I do." I...shit...you...NOT! Share with me the lame excuses you've heard. I need a serious pick-me-up right now, please.

12-13-2007, 10:09 AM	#3
SuperMishe Single. Wanna mingle? Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: A Couch in Massachusetts Posts: 1,227	Ok - This isn't an excuse for being dumped, but it's still fricken hilarious! LOL! The following details my be a little "off" but the excuse is completely 100% real! LOL!! My friend met a guy online thru BBWDatefinder. Emails and phone calls followed and at one point she thought she smelled a wife, but he assured her there was no such thing. They talked about meeting and set a date. Fast forward two weeks after the date they were supposed to meet and he finally calls her - here's his excuse - are you ready?.. lol... He got on a bus and traveled from NY to Boston to meet her. When he arrived in Boston, he realized he forgot his cell phone, therefore he didn't have her number to call her to say he was in Boston, so he got back on the bus and went back to NY!!! Apparently it took him two weeks to find his phone to call her and tell her that too! LMAO!!! Men!!! __________________ ~~ Mishe ~~ A pessimistic optimist Always Be Yourself (...unless you suck.)

12-13-2007, 10:11 AM	#4
chocolate desire Master Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Rancho Cucamonga Ca Posts: 1,929	(((Mellie)))) you know I got mad love for you! sorry you had to go thru this. __________________ At last I am happy

12-13-2007, 12:11 PM	#5
Dr. Feelgood intellectual nerd Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: the Twilight Zone Posts: 3,960	I once had a girlfriend who refused to have sex with me because I was not a Communist. __________________ Now all you women, Don't you come around Unless you weigh 'Bout fo' hundred pound... -- Dr. Feelgood & the Interns

12-13-2007, 12:25 PM	#6
Shosh Susannah Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 10,937	Mellie, You know what? You are a beautiful, warm and funny lady. Are you shitting me about the bloody fish tank? Your heart shall go on. ( I hate that friggin song)

12-13-2007, 12:39 PM	#7
Upstate New York Foodee Sick of poli-tricks Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Western NY Posts: 157	You didn't need that pinko bitch anyway, Dr. Feelgood. But I am biased against commies CAMellie, I have a little South Park jingle that should make you feel better. Watch the South Park episode entitled "The Biggest Douche in the Universe" and sing the little song that is heard towards the end of the episode: http://www.southparkzone.com/episode.php?vid=615 "Here he comes...the biggest douche in the Universe" It kind of lifts my spirits.

12-13-2007, 03:37 PM	#9
Dhaunae Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 102	Shame on you Mellie for not wanting a fish tank in your bedroom! :P I would have to agree that it was a rather lame excuse. You're much better off without someone who would dump you for silly reasons. Sometimes I wonder how difficult it is for people to just be honest and say "I'm sorry, it's just not working out." On a side note, perhaps the fish tank was a good idea.. You could have suggested a shark tank and told him he would be said shark's first meal. nods sagely __________________ O great rain, What would my wilderness be Without your sweet company? O greatest music of all, The sky's kiss on the warm soil, O blesser of thirsty lips, Heaven's tears when nature weeps... O greatest lover of all, You give without asking more, Abundantly to all fields, And the mountains and all hills... Stay a little... -Shant Norashkharian

12-13-2007, 03:42 PM	#10
BothGunsBlazing an ill wind blows Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 2,455	I got dumped because I was under 500lbs once. She told me I was anorexic. I was like c'mon baby I'm 499! I'll get there eats play dough don't leave meeeee! __________________ natasfan - im sorry to tell you that is YOUR PROBLEm that creep you out, because i have never wrote you something here in the forum, and because i generally write in the web model`s posts, and their postes, generally, are done to fans that like al those fantasies. Sorry, woman.

12-13-2007, 03:49 PM	#11
TheSadeianLinguist Coin-Operated Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Planet of the Mad Robots Posts: 7,643	The worst breakup is the one that doesn't break up, but lingers on painfully for months or years without mutual love. __________________ The Queen Bee on the Outsider: She didn't have the right brand of lip gloss. SHE HAD TO BE DESTROYED.

12-13-2007, 04:01 PM	#13
Maxx Awesome Sings like a Monster Baby Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: A1A Beachfront Avenue Posts: 846	"Peter, if you can't trust me, this relationship isn't going to work." (after I took her back despite cheating on me, like... forever). The above reason itself isn't lame, but the fact was that it was her super-secret code for "I'm currently banging someone else behind your back & have been for ages."

12-13-2007, 04:12 PM	#14
Say Hello to the Angels DORMANT Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Seoul Posts: 839	"Relationships are passe."

12-13-2007, 04:19 PM	#15
Cinda strange sense of humor Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: FL Posts: 152	Mellie, all I can say is: You should have told him you'd compromise with a water bed and one of those passe singing fish to hang on the wall and agreed the cat could have his food if he ate the cat's food. If he wouldn't agree to that he's really a loser, I mean, honestly I suggest next time you date a few months before you get us all excited ya know? Sorry it didn't work out. __________________ Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. -Robert A. Heinlein

12-13-2007, 04:42 PM	#19
Blackjack_Jeeves Gravity Matters... hehe Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Let you know after August! LoL Posts: 1,581	Like most here, Mellie, I wish you the best. Obviously this guy was not suitable for someone as wonderful as you. How is it some guys can take the world for granted? As one poster said, you should have left him to the sharks. __________________ "It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper." - Rob Serling "The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible." - Arthur C. Clarke "Isn't it interesting that the same people who laugh at science fiction listen to weather forecasts and economists?" - Kevin Throop III

12-13-2007, 05:33 PM	#22
mimosa Fluffy Goodness ;-) Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 3,584	Just wanted to show my support, Mellie. hugs

12-13-2007, 05:42 PM	#24
BothGunsBlazing an ill wind blows Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 2,455	I've used this on more than one occasion. "wow .. you looked a lot fatter in your pictures" __________________ natasfan - im sorry to tell you that is YOUR PROBLEm that creep you out, because i have never wrote you something here in the forum, and because i generally write in the web model`s posts, and their postes, generally, are done to fans that like al those fantasies. Sorry, woman.

12-13-2007, 06:28 PM	#25
cold comfort VEGASSS. Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,165	well at the very least mellie, absolutely no worries ... cuz i mean ... would you even WANT to be with a dude who honestly judges whether or not to be in a relationship over the location of a fish tank? yeeeah. i'm just sayin'. you're way better off, girlie. and you'll find far more amazing than that! as for myself, yeah... i've heard a few really ridiculous ones. kick 'em to the curb. __________________ i love you the most, i do. when you're so close to me ... i can smell the gasoline.

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