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Old 01-03-2008, 09:12 PM   #26
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I also agree with Laina.
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Old 01-04-2008, 05:51 PM   #27
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I'm a bbw and I like BHM and chubby/husky guys...It's disheartening to hear how many BHM want only thin women.
For realsies. Not just on this board, either. I'm a BBW in a great relationship with an SSBHM, and feel like an aberration. It seems like in the "real world," fat guys only want to date physically tiny girls.

That said, it doesn't do any good to focus on that, you know? I mean, sure, speak your piece here, and I totally hear you, IT SUCKS. But it's not so empowering to think "BHM only like skinny girls". There are too many fat guys out there for them to ALL like the same thing. And some guys don't even know they like BBW until they meet the right one!

Edited to add: If a guy's choosing/ruling out women to date based *exclusively* on body type, he's not exactly dream date material anyway.
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Old 01-04-2008, 07:04 PM   #28
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Im MBHM


(mini bhm) haha

just sayin i Lve biggg girls
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Old 01-04-2008, 08:12 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by ffaboots View Post
For realsies. Not just on this board, either. I'm a BBW in a great relationship with an SSBHM, and feel like an aberration. It seems like in the "real world," fat guys only want to date physically tiny girls.

That said, it doesn't do any good to focus on that, you know? I mean, sure, speak your piece here, and I totally hear you, IT SUCKS. But it's not so empowering to think "BHM only like skinny girls". There are too many fat guys out there for them to ALL like the same thing. And some guys don't even know they like BBW until they meet the right one!

Edited to add: If a guy's choosing/ruling out women to date based *exclusively* on body type, he's not exactly dream date material anyway.
That edit made my day. So, so well said.
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Old 01-04-2008, 08:12 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by ffaboots View Post

Edited to add: If a guy's choosing/ruling out women to date based *exclusively* on body type, he's not exactly dream date material anyway.

true true

I don't do that myself, but i'm naturally attracted to big men.

Can there be a board for fatties who like other fatties? Ha.
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Old 01-04-2008, 08:44 PM   #31
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I think that these preferences are OK as long as they are in moderation. I like Fat Women, but I take a gander at many medium and petite ladies that I see during the day.

William



QUOTE=Surlysomething;654430]true true

I don't do that myself, but i'm naturally attracted to big men.

Can there be a board for fatties who like other fatties? Ha.[/QUOTE]
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Old 01-04-2008, 09:07 PM   #32
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Well, I am 6'4" 420 lbs, I'm married to a BBW. Love her beyond all, as she loves me. We are both also attracted to others of all shapes and sizes. And as we are in an open relationship we get to act on some of those.
This in mind, I will say from all I have experienced I have found that a lot of BBW women are only looking for thin guys. It always makes me sad to see size discrimination from someone who is themselves big.

Thats just my two cents though.
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Old 01-04-2008, 09:24 PM   #33
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Well, I am 6'4" 420 lbs, I'm married to a BBW. Love her beyond all, as she loves me. We are both also attracted to others of all shapes and sizes. And as we are in an open relationship we get to act on some of those.
This in mind, I will say from all I have experienced I have found that a lot of BBW women are only looking for thin guys. It always makes me sad to see size discrimination from someone who is themselves big.

Thats just my two cents though.
I think there's a difference between preference and discrimination--I'd hardly say that I discriminate against thin guys, but I don't PREFER them. As a result, I feel like it would be unfair to a thin guy for me to date him. After all, who doesn't want to be with someone who adores every inch of them?

It's a trifle unfair to cry "discrimination" over sexual preference, IMO.

...I think I'm going back to lurking after this.
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Old 01-04-2008, 09:59 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by Laina View Post
I think there's a difference between preference and discrimination--I'd hardly say that I discriminate against thin guys, but I don't PREFER them. As a result, I feel like it would be unfair to a thin guy for me to date him. After all, who doesn't want to be with someone who adores every inch of them?

It's a trifle unfair to cry "discrimination" over sexual preference, IMO.

...I think I'm going back to lurking after this.
Wasnt pointing fingers or anything. Nor was I directing this comment at anyone.
I was also just voicing an opinion.
Lurking is much easier.
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Old 01-04-2008, 10:01 PM   #35
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Why lurk?

What's wrong with joining in? I think ALL the opinions here are worth reading and I enjoy all the different points of view.


Thanks, y'all!
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Old 01-05-2008, 03:29 AM   #36
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Bah, I don't think anyone ever said they "exclusively" date tiny girls. I also think it's kind of rude to say they're not "dream date" material just because they have a preference?

It's like telling someone "you date exclusively men? wow... you're no prize pig"

It just seems unfair to assume things about people based on their attractions.

Hell, I don't come in SSBHM threads complaining that BHMs get no love.

Double standards galore.
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Old 01-05-2008, 06:37 AM   #37
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I'm a BHM, my gf is a BBW and I always prefer BBW but I do find some slim women attractive. However after the size and softness of a BBW, a slim woman seems slightly disappointing. However its personality that counts after that initial physical attraction.
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Old 01-05-2008, 06:48 AM   #38
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Im a ssbbw and I married a chunky guy. He doesn't like to be thought of as a bhm, but he has meats on his bones I think a lot of men consider themselves average sized even when they are a bit fat, which makes the term BHM hard to swallow for some guys, mine included.

The BHM/FFA board has made me feel like an alien as well, for opposite reasons. I learned that a lot of bigger guys loath the idea of a woman my size.
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Old 01-05-2008, 07:57 AM   #39
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Bah, I don't think anyone ever said they "exclusively" date tiny girls.
Actually, I read that quite often on this board - and the other way around, people who say they exclusively date big girls.

I am hugely attracted to SSBHM's for the most part but I have been known to go out with thin/average men on occasion. This is my hope that I am not sounding like a hypocrite right now.


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I also think it's kind of rude to say they're not "dream date" material just because they have a preference?
She said that if they are ruling out women because they don't have the exact body type, then that is not dream date material.


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It's like telling someone "you date exclusively men? wow... you're no prize pig"
How? The category of "men" is so diverse.


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Originally Posted by rocczilla View Post
Hell, I don't come in SSBHM threads complaining that BHMs get no love.
Well, it's true. In our lives - BBW's get very little love. Friends, family, Hollywood, etc. Any big woman can testify how many times a week she recieves the "You're beautiful - you just need to lose weight" comment. This just scratches the surface. So, yeah, we come to Dimensions and it's awesome that there are men here who wouldn't ever dream to say "You're beautiful - just lose weight." What's the problem?

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Old 01-05-2008, 11:19 AM   #40
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Wasnt pointing fingers or anything. Nor was I directing this comment at anyone.
I was also just voicing an opinion.
Lurking is much easier.
Oh, I wasn't trying to sound nearly as defensive as I think I came off--I was just using myself as an example, because I live in my head (most of the time) so I know what goes on there (some of the time).

I happen to draw a line between "sexual preference" and "social discrimination" in my head. I want the freedom to choose qualities I like in a partner, so I don't see anything wrong with others doing the same. (Does that make my point a little more clear?)

Like this: I might turn a blond guy down for a date because I'm not attracted to him, but I wouldn't see his hair color as something that could be used as a slam, either. ...and this just keeps getting more complicated. I need a nap before I type anymore.
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Old 01-05-2008, 11:25 AM   #41
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Originally Posted by rocczilla View Post
Bah, I don't think anyone ever said they "exclusively" date tiny girls. I also think it's kind of rude to say they're not "dream date" material just because they have a preference?
I think the point was more that there are qualities other than weight. So if a potential couple already has chemistry and he's refusing to date her solely because she's a BBW...he's not worth chasing.

And I can see that perspective: I haven't ruled out all thin guys ever just because I'm an FFA. I'm just not particularly looking for one. There's a difference between desiring a thin partner and refusing to see the beauty in a woman who isn't precisely a size two.

Also, lots of guys say they are specifically interested in thin girls--which is fine in and of itself...but I'll bet it's hard to deal with when you feel like you've FINALLY found a place you fit in, only to find out that there're these really exclusive clubs that you just can't belong to. You know what I'm saying?
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Old 01-05-2008, 02:17 PM   #42
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The BHM/FFA board has made me feel like an alien as well, for opposite reasons. I learned that a lot of bigger guys loath the idea of a woman my size.
Well, those bigger guys who think that can suck it, cuz they are meanies. xP



On a different note, the only thing that really makes someone beautiful or not is who they are. I know in my experience, I've met guys who I find attractive and upon finding out that they are bad people, my attraction to them completely disappears no matter how beautiful they are physically.
I'm sure many people can relate to that. No matter how big or small or beautiful or ugly anyone is; if you're not a shallow person it's their personality which determines their actual beauty.
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Old 01-05-2008, 03:48 PM   #43
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On a different note, the only thing that really makes someone beautiful or not is who they are. I know in my experience, I've met guys who I find attractive and upon finding out that they are bad people, my attraction to them completely disappears no matter how beautiful they are physically.
I'm sure many people can relate to that. No matter how big or small or beautiful or ugly anyone is; if you're not a shallow person it's their personality which determines their actual beauty.

Very well said.
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Old 01-05-2008, 05:44 PM   #44
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Bah, I don't think anyone ever said they "exclusively" date tiny girls. I also think it's kind of rude to say they're not "dream date" material just because they have a preference?
Quote:
there are qualities other than weight. So if a potential couple already has chemistry and he's refusing to date her solely because she's a BBW...he's not worth chasing.
Exactly!!! Thank you, Laina.

You can have a preference. Hell, I have a preference! I'm saying that even though I generally don't find thin guys hot, I've still met a few who were so genuinely great that a mutual attraction developed. Now if I had said to those guys, "You're great, we get along well and I'm really attracted to you, but I don't date anyone who weighs less than 250 pounds," then that would be crazy, right? They would be justified in thinking I was kind of nuts.
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Old 01-05-2008, 06:19 PM   #45
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I hope Laina doesn't really go back to lurking- I find so many of her posts thought-provoking
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Old 01-05-2008, 06:43 PM   #46
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Hi GEF

I agree, I think that the smaller FFAs here bring ideas to this Board that gives this board a balance that the other boards do not possess. They tend not to look at BHMs from a PC Fat Acceptance way.

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I hope Laina doesn't really go back to lurking- I find so many of her posts thought-provoking
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Old 01-05-2008, 09:01 PM   #47
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I hope Laina doesn't really go back to lurking- I find so many of her posts thought-provoking
Aww...I think that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me on this board. (Honestly.) I lurk more often than not, but I promise I'll try to post more often (and try not to suck so hard at getting my points across, hehe).
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Old 01-05-2008, 09:45 PM   #48
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I think the point was more that there are qualities other than weight. So if a potential couple already has chemistry and he's refusing to date her solely because she's a BBW...he's not worth chasing.

And I can see that perspective: I haven't ruled out all thin guys ever just because I'm an FFA. I'm just not particularly looking for one. There's a difference between desiring a thin partner and refusing to see the beauty in a woman who isn't precisely a size two.

Also, lots of guys say they are specifically interested in thin girls--which is fine in and of itself...but I'll bet it's hard to deal with when you feel like you've FINALLY found a place you fit in, only to find out that there're these really exclusive clubs that you just can't belong to. You know what I'm saying?
Ok, I'll definitely agree with that. And I agree with Mary also. It should be the personality which matters first and foremost.

I've myself fallen for many a girl I wouldn't have initially considered based solely on her personality. This holds especially true for people who are obsessive about music and film. Tell me you've seen Bloodfeast and you listen to the Mars Volta and I'm yours lol.

Fat, skinny, tall, short... whoever tucks me in at night is darling to me.
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Old 01-06-2008, 12:17 PM   #49
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I think ssbbw/ssbhm couples are truly beautiful.
I know I would definately want a ssbbw on my arm always.
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Old 01-06-2008, 03:22 PM   #50
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If they ever put size limits on being an FFA, I intend to protest it on principle. Just my 2˘.

Any notion that FFAs must be a certain size is probably rooted in shallowness: Namely, people presume that if a woman dates fat men, she's only really acting on her own preferences if she isn't "mainstream pretty." Otherwise, she's "desperate," has "low standards," or "can't do any better." (The same applies to male FAs. And since the media pays more attention to them than to us FFAs, it's easier to dig up the crap that people talk about them.)

Also, I've found myself completely "switching off" on a big guy who turned out to be a jerk. Not to mention having to do quite a bit of soul-searching before deciding not to sleep with a trim 19-year-old Marine PFC who normally wouldn't be my type.

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