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Old 02-03-2008, 11:14 AM   #26
lady of the dark
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- when you get mistaken for a big stranded whale when you are just sunbathing on the beach

- when you have to buy a cellphone because you can't fit in to a phone booth

- when you have to take their word if you have your shoes shined

- when you need a talking scale, because you can't see the digits anymore

- when the talking scale calls you fat ass

- when your growling hungry stomach gets mistaken for an earthquake
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Old 02-03-2008, 03:08 PM   #27
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Default YOU GUYS are incredible!!!!!!

I love this thread..a man with bigger tits than me...MY FANTASY!!!!!!!
all of this is great stuff for this little FFA
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Old 02-03-2008, 03:18 PM   #28
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when you have an escort vehicle ahead of you with a "caution wide load" sign on the front
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Old 03-18-2008, 01:21 PM   #29
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you know you're a BHM when:

you can only fit one cheek in the tiny-a$$ desks in a college classroom (it really sucks, cuz i always end up on my wallet)

someone hands you a pitcher of beer rather than a solo cup (trust me, it just saves time if you are doin that)

the only things you are lookin to drive/ride are trucks, big SUVs or cruisers because that sports car seat requires too much contortion and the tank on a crotch-rocket hits your spleen

and you definitely know you are a BHM when someone comes to rub your belly and one of two things happens: 1) your foot starts tappin or 2) you start the conversation with, "sorry, no luck, all tapped out"
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Old 03-18-2008, 03:22 PM   #30
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You know you're a fat guy when you;

1) Stop buying clothes that fit and start buying clothes you can grow into!

2) People think because you're really fat - you must be really strong (uh - reallity check here folks, fat = unfit and not strong!LOL!)

3) When guys you work with who don't know your name call you 'big guy/big man/big fella' instead of 'dude/mate/fella'

4)The owner of the all you eat chinese buffet comes running out screaming (appologies in advance for the racial stereotype) 'you no eat here! you very bad man! Fat man no eat here!'

5) You start to grow the fat guy goatee in a futile attempt to draw attention away from the fact you have 2+ chins!

6) Walking and talking on you mobile/cell phone at the same time leaves you out of breath!

7) When you suck your gut in to try and look thin... You're still clearly the fattest guy in the room!

8) When 3 meals a day turn into one long 'grazing' session through out the day.

9) When you get a days worth of snacks out of the vending machine 1st thing in the morning to avoid having to get up throughout the day to get the inevitable snack fix(es)!

10) And finally! You know you're a fat guy when a pioc of your belly and chest posted online garners multiple pm'd compliments of 'great rack and belly' from the FA's who've not quite taken the time to read your handle!LOL!
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Old 01-21-2009, 12:14 PM   #31
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you break your jogging bottoms when sitting down and display the white lining and your bum in all its glory! yes quite true i'm afraid.
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Old 01-21-2009, 12:40 PM   #32
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you break your jogging bottoms when sitting down and display the white lining and your bum in all its glory! yes quite true i'm afraid.
Ohhhh better than that, when you start packing extra pants and shorts in your car because you have had a BLOWOUT more times than you can count in public and its just a way of life now.

(I need specialty clothing with like a elastic seams so they don't do that anymore).

You know your a BHM when you get a couple of burgers from drive through to tide you over till the Take and Bake Pizza is done.
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Old 01-21-2009, 12:49 PM   #33
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Ohhhh better than that, when you start packing extra pants and shorts in your car because you have had a BLOWOUT more times than you can count in public and its just a way of life now.

(I need specialty clothing with like a elastic seams so they don't do that anymore).

You know your a BHM when you get a couple of burgers from drive through to tide you over till the Take and Bake Pizza is done.
love it mate those expanding waistline pants help dont they?!
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Old 01-21-2009, 01:03 PM   #34
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love it mate those expanding waistline pants help dont they?!
Nope for anybody who has had an ass blowout its that seam that runs between your crotch that blows out....EVERY FREAKING TIME! Mine do it right at the seam too. No fixing them either, and well I'm a snob who likes designer pants so it gets expensive lol. All they would need is like a well hidden fold of expandable fabric right in the butt crack seam lol.....any seamstresses on the board? Might be money in this
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Old 01-21-2009, 01:25 PM   #35
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Nope for anybody who has had an ass blowout its that seam that runs between your crotch that blows out....EVERY FREAKING TIME! Mine do it right at the seam too. No fixing them either, and well I'm a snob who likes designer pants so it gets expensive lol. All they would need is like a well hidden fold of expandable fabric right in the butt crack seam lol.....any seamstresses on the board? Might be money in this
all true matey i relate. the inner thigh area goes with me as well. costs a fortune to look good but proud to do so!
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Old 01-21-2009, 04:08 PM   #36
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I remember the first time having to ask for a seat belt extender on an airplane. Then came the time when I could not use the tray located on the seat in front.

Realized that a couple of big macs were a snack instead of a meal.
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Old 01-21-2009, 04:28 PM   #37
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Realized that a couple of big macs were a snack instead of a meal.
Ok...that made me giggle and i ran out of rep points
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Old 01-21-2009, 04:32 PM   #38
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Ok...that made me giggle and i ran out of rep points
Why, did you rep me for the Buggers to hold me over for the pizza?

*Checks his reps.....Hummm Nope* Darn! (mild rep whine heheheh)
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Old 01-21-2009, 04:51 PM   #39
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Here's one of my older cartoons that feature two former posters on these boards, Wellington and Auntie Oggle, which cover the same subject matter.

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Old 01-21-2009, 04:51 PM   #40
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Why, did you rep me for the Buggers to hold me over for the pizza?

*Checks his reps.....Hummm Nope* Darn! (mild rep whine heheheh)
What are buggers....HEHEHEHE
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Old 01-22-2009, 11:21 AM   #41
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My parents always used to say they would rather board me then feed me lol. So I guess that would be a way to know.

When lawn chairs become your arch enemy.

If you have ever used your moobs to hold something because your hands were full.

If you've ever been used as dead weight for a truck that can't get traction.
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Old 01-22-2009, 07:24 PM   #42
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Me and my fiance, Von_Pudge, travel from Norway to England alot so I can see my family. This means we have to fly alot. Last flight we were on the air hostess came around with the trolley with drinks. Dan had a coffee and a snack. I noticed that before when she was serving other passengers, she was pulling down the table on the back of the chair in front of them and placing their drink down on there.

When she got to Dan, she gave him a look and kind of paused, looked at his belly and pulled down the table next to him and placed his order there!!! She must have known the table doesn't come down fully because of the size of his big belly

I just grinned, winked at him and rubbed his belly and whispered "My sexy, obese fatboy" in his ear... I was horny for the rest of the journey
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Old 01-23-2009, 12:36 PM   #43
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Me and my fiance, Von_Pudge, travel from Norway to England alot so I can see my family. This means we have to fly alot. Last flight we were on the air hostess came around with the trolley with drinks. Dan had a coffee and a snack. I noticed that before when she was serving other passengers, she was pulling down the table on the back of the chair in front of them and placing their drink down on there.

When she got to Dan, she gave him a look and kind of paused, looked at his belly and pulled down the table next to him and placed his order there!!! She must have known the table doesn't come down fully because of the size of his big belly

I just grinned, winked at him and rubbed his belly and whispered "My sexy, obese fatboy" in his ear... I was horny for the rest of the journey
its nice when they take into account our size and do that kinda thing - but in my experience its never been as good.
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Old 01-23-2009, 03:18 PM   #44
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Default You are a BHM when...

You break your office chair account that it does not have steel legs and you have to get a 180 kg+ rated chair, with no arm rests to allow for future expansions.
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Old 01-23-2009, 04:08 PM   #45
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its nice when they take into account our size and do that kinda thing - but in my experience its never been as good.
Hehe yeah Same here... but they were good. Just thought it was sweet the way she took one look and just pulled down the other table. Traveling is always crampy for me, so I can only imagine what it's like for a BHM lol
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Old 01-29-2009, 09:29 AM   #46
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You break your office chair account that it does not have steel legs and you have to get a 180 kg+ rated chair, with no arm rests to allow for future expansions.
You sit down in your new office chair and when you get up it is 'attached' to your backside, requiring co-worker intervention for removal...
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Old 01-30-2009, 04:49 PM   #47
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You sit down in your new office chair and when you get up it is 'attached' to your backside, requiring co-worker intervention for removal...
Oh I can relate to that fat hiker,

How about this,

You have to select your path between parked car's so as not to get stuck or knock they side mirrors.
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Old 02-01-2009, 05:47 AM   #48
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You sit down in your new office chair and when you get up it is 'attached' to your backside, requiring co-worker intervention for removal...
Heh.... I can't be the only FFA who would be kind of excited by observing that, right?
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Old 02-01-2009, 05:58 AM   #49
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You are not alone, i get visuals everytime i go through this thread...hehehe....

AWWW if only there were pics and vids to go along with the some of the posts..

Its ok though...i have a great imagination.
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Old 02-01-2009, 06:00 AM   #50
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Originally Posted by kinkykitten View Post
Me and my fiance, Von_Pudge, travel from Norway to England alot so I can see my family. This means we have to fly alot. Last flight we were on the air hostess came around with the trolley with drinks. Dan had a coffee and a snack. I noticed that before when she was serving other passengers, she was pulling down the table on the back of the chair in front of them and placing their drink down on there.

When she got to Dan, she gave him a look and kind of paused, looked at his belly and pulled down the table next to him and placed his order there!!! She must have known the table doesn't come down fully because of the size of his big belly

I just grinned, winked at him and rubbed his belly and whispered "My sexy, obese fatboy" in his ear... I was horny for the rest of the journey
I love you FFA's, that is the cutest thing ever!!
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