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Old 01-10-2008, 09:37 PM   #26
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Oh, why isn't this a picture thread?
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Old 01-10-2008, 09:39 PM   #27
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Oh, why isn't this a picture thread?
Because we are women and we don't get to see the naughty bits until they are coming at us! Get with the program!
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Old 01-10-2008, 09:39 PM   #28
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Oh, why isn't this a picture thread?
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 01-10-2008, 09:43 PM   #29
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Oh, why isn't this a picture thread?
Right? Would it be too nutty, though? Would nuts start delurking and coming out of the woodwork?
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Old 01-10-2008, 09:45 PM   #30
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Because we are women and we don't get to see the naughty bits until they are coming at us!

Ain't that the truth! Haha!

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Old 01-10-2008, 09:48 PM   #31
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I'll start:


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Old 01-10-2008, 09:51 PM   #32
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i don't believe in separate but equal. I am not a taint separatist, Fasc. So, no need in my eyes for a taint thread.

What I will say is that the weirdo part of the scrotum in the back? where there's like...extra junk? Not 2 young, fresh, firm testicles, but instead, this weird lump? I hate that. I find it frightening and confusing. Not all guys have them, of course, but I just don't know what to make of them. I'm not mocking, but I like what I like and I gotta be honest about it. Does anyone know what I mean? It's like...if your ballsack was wearing a knapsack at the back. Like a 3rd ball.

Like the Simpsons fish!

Me no likey.
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Old 01-10-2008, 09:58 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by Jes View Post
i don't believe in separate but equal. I am not a taint separatist, Fasc. So, no need in my eyes for a taint thread.

What I will say is that the weirdo part of the scrotum in the back? where there's like...extra junk? Not 2 young, fresh, firm testicles, but instead, this weird lump? I hate that. I find it frightening and confusing. Not all guys have them, of course, but I just don't know what to make of them. I'm not mocking, but I like what I like and I gotta be honest about it. Does anyone know what I mean? It's like...if your ballsack was wearing a knapsack at the back. Like a 3rd ball.

Like the Simpsons fish!

Me no likey.
Like a turkey gobbler thing? That what you mean?
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Old 01-10-2008, 10:01 PM   #34
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Default And this is where I go WHEEEE!

Whee! [youtube.com]

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Old 01-11-2008, 06:20 AM   #35
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Here's an easter egg for you all.

..... a little early this year.....


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Old 01-11-2008, 07:02 AM   #36
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Ok, I ain't no lady, but I got to wade in here.

The balls are underrated, unacknowleged and unsung except as shadowy bulges.

As a complete neurotic musician, I am a sucker for any kind of compliment on anything---my shoes, a song, a door held open, anything.

"You're a good lad, lad," can make me glow for a few hours.

One of the best compliments I ever got in my life was just two words.

(Venturing into TMI here, but what the hell)

I was in a Tantra group in India. 15 men and 15 women and two teachers, educating us on conscious sex and relationships. Most participants, and the course leaders, were from Europe. There was one guy, I remember, from Oregon.

The first surprise was the "no intercourse and no masturbation" rule, during the weeklong course. The point was to look at sex, our bodies, your body, my body, talk about it, fight about it, get incredibly uptight about it and come out the other side with a healthier attitude--- not just hook up and bang away.

At one point, all the clothes came off, and there we were. One by one, each of us stood and let the group have a look. By that time, we'd been through the course and we were all much more comfortable, less guarded.

Very educational. The first thing you notice is nobody's body conforms perfectly to the near-impossible standards we see in the media. So there's that.

The second is that nudity is overrated. After the initial shock of seeing a group of people with no clothes, you "forget" everyone's naked. Turned on, you are not, not really. It's not that kind of atmosphere, and the course leaders maintained an admirable vigilance to keep the group safe for everyone.

But the two words worth the whole course were a stranger's comment, as I stood there, literally naked, to let folks see me, and let me see them seeing me.

"Nice balls."



Most likely, that will be the last thing anyone ever says about them for the rest of my life, unless my wife wants to elaborate, or I do another course, or..or..

Men can't get props for their balls. It's overshadowed by that attention-hogging cousin, the penis.

But I'm glad someone brought them up! (Damn, I was trying to write this thing without any double entendres)
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Old 01-11-2008, 07:06 AM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jes View Post
i don't believe in separate but equal. I am not a taint separatist, Fasc. So, no need in my eyes for a taint thread.

What I will say is that the weirdo part of the scrotum in the back? where there's like...extra junk? Not 2 young, fresh, firm testicles, but instead, this weird lump? I hate that. I find it frightening and confusing. Not all guys have them, of course, but I just don't know what to make of them. I'm not mocking, but I like what I like and I gotta be honest about it. Does anyone know what I mean? It's like...if your ballsack was wearing a knapsack at the back. Like a 3rd ball.

Like the Simpsons fish!

Me no likey.
Sadly, I can not rep you again yet. Seriously, you guys are going to cause me an injury. I am laughing way too hard at this thread.
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Old 01-11-2008, 07:36 AM   #38
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Now I've heard it all! lol The man who was the other day giving women advice about how to exercise their Kegels for better orgasms thinks this thread is odd?
Not so much odd in subject, as it is in content...there really weren't pictures of vaginas in the other thread, yet, as i've already included, and noticed, there are plenty of balls in this one.
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Old 01-11-2008, 07:38 AM   #39
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Like a turkey gobbler thing? That what you mean?
it's like there's a 3rd testicle in there or something. It's firm, not like a waddle. Wattle? whatever.

i'm thinking of a porn star that has that (man, I've watched a lot of porn, and I do judge every naked man in my bedroom by those stars, too, if I'm honest) but I can't recall who it is. I think it looks lumpy and old-man-ish.


You know, I just want to go back to the firm, fresh, and yes, even moist, balls of that young 21 year old hottie. He took down his pants and it was like a choir of angels started singing. His junk had its own soundtrack! I don't know if anything will ever compare to that. I suddenly understood the saying:

Ah, to be 21 again!...or to fuck someone who IS!

I never thought I'd fetishize youth so much, til I saw how glorious it was. I think what I recall most is that while most scrota look dry and wrinkly, like a teat, I had no desire to use Eucerin cream to smooth his balls. They were soft, like a baby's butt, and I just found that entrancing.
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Old 01-11-2008, 07:46 AM   #40
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Originally Posted by ZainTheInsane View Post
Not so much odd in subject, as it is in content...there really weren't pictures of vaginas in the other thread, yet, as i've already included, and noticed, there are plenty of balls in this one.
yes, you're right, there is a picture of a real ball. Posted by a man.
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Old 01-11-2008, 07:50 AM   #41
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Is this really fat sexuality?

Anyway I like then a little on the saggy side. It a certian position they hit that certian spot. If ya know what I mean.
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Old 01-11-2008, 08:00 AM   #42
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Is this really fat sexuality?

Anyway I like then a little on the saggy side. It a certian position they hit that certian spot. If ya know what I mean.
i think so. it's what fat women (and thin, too) like or wonder about balls. I'm fat and I have opinions about balls.

I'm here, I'm round, accomodate me!

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Old 01-11-2008, 08:50 AM   #43
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Balls?

They are ugly, hairy, bumply, and get firm or saggy all the time. I am glad I only have to deal with mine (well, two other littler and younger sets when they have "questions").

They are exposed, easily kicked, poked or hit. They are the achilles' heel of the male.

Yuck. Well they do help make beautiful babies, so for that maybe they're ok.

Yes, I am a hata.
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Old 01-11-2008, 09:21 AM   #44
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Is this really fat sexuality?

Anyway I like then a little on the saggy side. It a certian position they hit that certian spot. If ya know what I mean.
HAHAHAHA!!! Nice!
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Old 01-11-2008, 09:47 AM   #45
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Balls?

They are ugly, hairy, bumply, and get firm or saggy all the time. I am glad I only have to deal with mine (well, two other littler and younger sets when they have "questions").

They are exposed, easily kicked, poked or hit. They are the achilles' heel of the male.

Yuck. Well they do help make beautiful babies, so for that maybe they're ok.

Yes, I am a hata.
Bumply? You created a new word der, eh?
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Old 01-11-2008, 09:51 AM   #46
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My friend Linds and I always got a good laugh out of a guy she dated once. He was a nice enough guy but she said he was thrown off a tad by his saggy balls. When she told me I was like saggy? Like how saggy? She sang a song to give me a visual which to this day I can't ever forget.

Do your balls hang low?
do they wobble to and fro?
can you tie them in a knot?
can you tie them in a bow?
can you throw them over your shoulder?
like a continental soldier?
Do your balls hang low?

It gave me such a great understanding.
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Old 01-11-2008, 11:01 AM   #47
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I guess I'll step back in here again, is there some unknown admiration for balls I see lol?
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Old 01-11-2008, 11:12 AM   #48
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Default this thread has my name all over it

I part company with a lot of guys in that I don't like my nuts being fondled, at all. I don't know if I just have extra sensitivity down there, but in my (admittedly sparse) sexual experience, I haven't found a woman who knows how to handle them with proper delicacy. My own GF, an excellent and usually intuitive lover, has sent me to the other side of the room and mis huevos so far up into my body so that they're nestling near my lungs for the next few hours That goes for doctors as well. Hey doc, how can I cough if I'm holding my breath?

Anyway, though none of my anatomy is going to win any best-in-show awards, I think my balls are particularly gruesome - like an oversized walnut (or, in cold weather, just a plain walnut) covered in scary-long hair, like Predator. The only reason I'm not self-conscious is because I've yet to see ones I'd call "nice" (Though perhaps Mr. Max can prove me wrong). I swear I don't understand why all women aren't lesbians.

Last edited by altered states; 01-11-2008 at 11:16 AM.
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Old 01-11-2008, 12:29 PM   #49
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Talking deep, meaningful post

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Originally Posted by tres huevos View Post
I swear I don't understand why all women aren't lesbians.
My theory is that many (not all) of the smartest ones are, thereby leading to the chronic lack of evolution in our species of late. Of course I hope I'm wrong but how else could one explain the disproportionate number of brilliant women who won't have anything to do with me?

I was reluctant to penetrate this thread as it was clearly started for girls only. It seems likely to me that the trend begun in the new 450lbs+ SSBBW Forum (ladies only) could quickly spread once they notice how conspicuously little we of the swinging meat set actually contribute. I say this by way of cautionary note to my brother FA knuckledraggers. If the gals say "girls only" and you can't hold your tongue (or get someone else to hold it for you) please at least try to provide something of value and insight!

The ladies have clearly demonstrated an abiding curiosity and willingness to learn about our tragically less aesthetic anatomies. Their respectful interest warrants equally considerate response, if we are to continue to be welcome (hell, tolerated) here.

Consequently I offer you this very helpful and timely scrotorial <sic>. Trust me, just give it a minute, it's totally about balls. Running time 06:15, NOT suitable for (most) family or office viewing:

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/view/id/203

And if I can get some rep for this I got a GREAT camel testicle joke!
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Old 01-11-2008, 12:47 PM   #50
Jack Skellington
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Jack Skellington keeps pushing the rep limit!Jack Skellington keeps pushing the rep limit!Jack Skellington keeps pushing the rep limit!Jack Skellington keeps pushing the rep limit!Jack Skellington keeps pushing the rep limit!Jack Skellington keeps pushing the rep limit!Jack Skellington keeps pushing the rep limit!Jack Skellington keeps pushing the rep limit!Jack Skellington keeps pushing the rep limit!Jack Skellington keeps pushing the rep limit!Jack Skellington keeps pushing the rep limit!
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Originally Posted by Fascinita View Post
Ooooh. Teabagging. Like in the John Waters movie?
First I ever heard about tea bagging was in first person shooter video games. After killing an opponent in an online deathmatch a player would squat their character over the corpse to further humiliate the guy they just took out.
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Goblins and ghoulies, from last Halloween, awaken the spirits with your tambourine. Creepies and crawlies, toads in a pond, let there be music from regions beyond.

Wizards and Witches, wherever you dwell, give us a hint by ringing a bell.
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