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Old 03-09-2008, 04:39 PM   #26
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oooh that drives me mad the whole mentality that a man can sleep with a woman and it's fine, it's even considered studly but a woman do the same thing and she's a whore!! i mean wtf?! UGH it makes me want to choke a bitch!
Women get the need to scratch too, whats wrong with that. it's part of our needs as a human being and if we're not in a relationship to get it then i dont see the harm in scratching another way?! what, men can scratch all they like but a woman should wait, next you'll be saying they should be married first, because you know, dont wanna be easy! *hmph*

i dont see what's wrong with having sex on a first date really, because sometimes you jsut have that chemistry and need some fun. like the others say i probably wouldnt if it was someone i could envisage a future with, i mean hey, dont want to make them think im easy right..:/

*ahem* sorry for the rant
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Old 03-09-2008, 05:25 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by mossystate View Post
Ack. Nice to see that the younger generation is still neck deep in the attitude that ' nice girls don't '..and...' boys will be boys '.

I just hope that any man who views some women as ' easy ' and thus ' slutty '..well..here is hoping you have one of your ' nice girls ', break your heart...big time.

Baz_24..you are holding onto an ancient attitude that makes excuses for you to be a miserable human being...way to go. If this is the kind of man you want to be, then, you deserve not one nice woman in your life.


I'm glad you said this.... because I always bang the hell out of them on the first date




Seriously though, I don't screw on the first date...ever. It's the "kiss of death" if I like the guy and want to see him again. I figured this out about men a long time ago....don't sleep with them for a long time.
They will either
1. drop you quickly- and that's a good thing because it means they just wanted you for sex anyway and didn't like YOU to begin with
2. they like that you wont "give it up" and start to like you
3. they start asking you to marry them eventually when they get REALLY REALLY horny
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Old 03-09-2008, 05:26 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by Bafta1 View Post
I guess I'm the 0.1% then. ...And proud...

Bloody Hell, man, you really think 99.9% of men would use a woman like that?

Only about 98% of the men are like that here in the southeast USA
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It's been so long and I've been putting out fire with gasoline"
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Old 03-09-2008, 05:28 PM   #29
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Oh, and did I tell you.....how much I LOVE making those *&%^$#@ WAIT?






Holy hell....do you think this might be one reason why I can't get a date?
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Old 03-09-2008, 06:30 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by Dravenhawk View Post
Ever since I started dating recently the girls I have been with all seem to want sex on the first date. I am not used to going quite this fast. Having sex on the first date got me in alot of trouble in the past causing deep regrets later on. I may be a bit old fashoned here but I like to get to know the woman I am dating as a person first, I perfer the discovery of friendship and wether or not if I have a meaningful connection with this person before I share my body and elevate the level of intimacy. I mean for me sex something special you just dont hand out to people you hardly know. Whats your thoughts on this?

Dravenhawk
I know what you mean. Used to happen to me all the time. Just about had to beat them off with a stick. And all I wanted was to be loved for my personality not the amazing body...

There is a world of difference between making love and having sex. Choose, be honest, don't compromise.

In this sorry country (NZ), sex is now a legal commodity. So what does that make it really worth?
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Old 03-09-2008, 07:17 PM   #31
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It's just a bad idea!

Whenever this discussion comes up, someone invariably brings up the urban legend of the woman who slept with a guy on their first date and they fell madly in love and never parted again, etc. It's always "a friend of a friend."
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Old 03-09-2008, 07:37 PM   #32
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Sorry correction, It was another poster that expressed the "Easy" sentiment and not the OP.
EDIT.
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Old 03-09-2008, 08:00 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy View Post
Oh, and did I tell you.....how much I LOVE making those *&%^$#@ WAIT?






Holy hell....do you think this might be one reason why I can't get a date?
Good things come to those who wait.

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Old 03-09-2008, 08:43 PM   #34
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Count me in for the 0.1%. Seems the sample set in this thread is just a tiny bit skewed. Gosh, almost makes me question the "statistics" (such as they are).

On the first date? I couldn't. Not just that I wouldn't (well, that too), but I actually don't think I could. I can appreciate someone's assets, and even imagine things with them, but to start groping each other with someone I don't even know? No thanks. The mutual masturbation thing doesn't do it for me. It would creep me out to get that intimate with someone I hadn't yet had a chance to form an opinion of, and, quite frankly, didn't yet know if they were worth it. My evaluation of how "hot" someone is, while certainly including appearance, includes a lot more. I can't just look at someone and immediately know if I'd want to do them.

I actually move along that whole chain of physical contact pretty slowly. I want to know who it is, exactly, that's putting their tongue in my mouth, before they put it there.

But once I've spent the time getting to know more of who they are, and that I'm into them in entirety, then, yeah, sex is a very very good thing. But I'd never have sex with someone if I thought it was only going to be once.

I'm actually moving towards starting the dating thing at some point, since my marriage ended fairly recently. I do wonder how my rate of physical progression is going to affect how things go for me.
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Old 03-10-2008, 02:06 AM   #35
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Originally Posted by bluewine View Post
I have over 30 years of dating experience. Sex on the firast date is a no win situation.End of story.
Oh really? I had sex with a guy before we'd even had our first date and I'm living with him now and engaged to him. *shrug*
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Old 03-10-2008, 02:10 AM   #36
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Oh really? I had sex with a guy before we'd even had our first date and I'm living with him now and engaged to him. *shrug*
LMAO well said Em! and there is bluewine, the "expert".. still dating Hmmm who did it wrong there?
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Old 03-10-2008, 02:13 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by sweet&fat View Post
It's just a bad idea!

Whenever this discussion comes up, someone invariably brings up the urban legend of the woman who slept with a guy on their first date and they fell madly in love and never parted again, etc. It's always "a friend of a friend."
lol It's not a friend of a friend. It's me!

There was a big group of dims members meeting up to go to a bbw club. A guy was arriving into the train station the same time as me so we decided that we'd meet up and share a cab to the hotel we were all staying in. We got on really well and there was a huge spark between us, we went to the bbw club, then went somewhere else and I spent the night in his room *ahem* Next morning we didn't want to part from each other so we stayed in the train station chatting till around 6pm when we got our seperate trains home. We then spent as much time together as we could over the next three weeks until we decided we couldn't be apart any longer, I moved in with him and we've never been apart since.
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Old 03-10-2008, 04:02 AM   #38
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lol It's not a friend of a friend. It's me!

There was a big group of dims members meeting up to go to a bbw club. A guy was arriving into the train station the same time as me so we decided that we'd meet up and share a cab to the hotel we were all staying in. We got on really well and there was a huge spark between us, we went to the bbw club, then went somewhere else and I spent the night in his room *ahem* Next morning we didn't want to part from each other so we stayed in the train station chatting till around 6pm when we got our seperate trains home. We then spent as much time together as we could over the next three weeks until we decided we couldn't be apart any longer, I moved in with him and we've never been apart since.
that's so sickeningly sweet.

honestly, it seems to be bad form(and often problematic) to have sex on a first date...from what i've heard. i've never done it, so i can't properly pass judgement...and i'd like to say i'll never do it, but hey, i can't see into the future. i just know that it's not on my "to do" list.
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Old 03-10-2008, 10:06 AM   #39
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Keep this thread on topic and do not engage in personal attacks on other posters or bringing up issues from chat on board threads - not allowed or tolerated, any of it.

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Old 03-10-2008, 10:39 AM   #40
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Originally Posted by baz24_uk View Post
we dont want to meet someone who is easy!!!!!
but you just said you did!
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Old 03-10-2008, 10:06 PM   #41
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i have had sex on the first date a couple times....
i have regretted it...
and I have not....

One time I just couldn't help myself..he was so fucking hot all I wanted to was get his penis inside me STAT....


Does he call me anymore?? Not really...
Did I think we had the potential for a relationship?? Not really...
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Old 03-11-2008, 07:50 AM   #42
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Default Sex on the first date?

Well, it's happened to me twice, both of which I regretted. In both cases I felt an instant, deep connection. Although both relationships lasted quite a while, becoming intimate so early was harmful in the long run -- it created high expectations on both sides without the depth of knowledge and friendship that are the foundation of a healthy relationship. That was really sad because I felt then (and still feel) that both relationships could have been long term under different circumstances.
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Old 03-11-2008, 09:00 AM   #43
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Sex ia always a choice. Saying no may be hard, but do what you gotta do.

Personally, i have yet to do the ding ding. I havent found the right guy. Ive dated a handful, and the average span of those relationships is 6 months. Each one i have ended for various reasons. That may make me sound like a total beotch, but i'm only 20, and i recognize that i am an everchanging being with much to learn. My development as an individual isnt yet complete, and it will never be. But...once i feel i have attained a certain sense of self which i think will slowly show itself through my twenties, i may be ready. I'm not ready for marriage (ive been proposed to...not a good idea...i know im too young), and i'm not ready for sex either. I am not waiting for marriage necessarily, but i only want to do that with one guy in my life, so i am waiting for him. If he never comes along, then oh well...at least i'm me, and i stuck with it, right? Similarly, i dont plan on getting married. It's not something i want to plan my life around. If i do get married, that's wonderful. I know it'll be to an awesome guy. If i dont get married, that's wonderful as well. I have a life of my own, yanno? As we are all human though, we crave intimacy. We want to be known. So, yes, while i want intimacy, i know i am not ready for it to resonate itself physically. So, yes, i am a virgin, but i am not unfufilled or incomplete. I have a sex drive, but i also have self-control and a reason.

rawr sorry about all that jazz.
So...umm...yeah. You know youre not ready, so just say it as it is. My personal motto: be straight-forward and fully honest with yourself and others.
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Old 03-11-2008, 09:03 AM   #44
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Originally Posted by baz24_uk View Post
this is going to sound REALLY bad for us men but 99.9% of us if the woman is offering up sex at the end of the 1st date we would sleep with them (not if we were already seeing someone else) BUT we are not going to call them back....... why???? theres only 1 reason because all men want to find someone BUT we dont want to meet someone who is easy!!!!!
haha this reminds me of perfume. You may use the tester bottle in the store, but you wouldnt want to take it home, right? That's basically what youre saying, right? or am i totally misinterpreting you?
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Old 03-11-2008, 09:45 AM   #45
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i have had sex on the first date a couple times....
i have regretted it...
and I have not....

One time I just couldn't help myself..he was so fucking hot all I wanted to was get his penis inside me STAT....


Does he call me anymore?? Not really...
Did I think we had the potential for a relationship?? Not really...

Lol...I have met men that I considered having sex with on the first date....mainly because I was NOT interested in seeing him again
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It's been so long and I've been putting out fire with gasoline"
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Old 03-11-2008, 09:48 AM   #46
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It's funny I suppose its a 50/50 thing. My wife and I had sex on the first date and here we are coming up on our 9th wedding anniversery. So I guess it can be a good thing or a bad thing depending on the chemistry of the 2 people.
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Old 03-11-2008, 04:43 PM   #47
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Default i just don't get it......

........what's the relevance of the "first date"?....who cares?.......it's what comes after that counts, whether it's something or nothing.......*shrug
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Old 03-11-2008, 04:48 PM   #48
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Oh really? I had sex with a guy before we'd even had our first date and I'm living with him now and engaged to him. *shrug*
Gotta agree with Em here, of the relationships I have been in, the ones where we have sex before we're officically "together" whether it be the first daye or before do tend to work out better. Mind you I'm not as far as her w/ the whole living together/engaged thing but for me it usually does. Sex is at times something more then physical, I do think that you can't truly know how you feel about someone till you reach that level of full physical and spiritual understanding. And I feel sex is the easiest way to do it. Having it all on the first date is a great way to know how things will go in the future. And if it doesn't feel right, as long as both parties had fun and agree, no harm done.
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The past and future, is in us or nowhere. The external world is the shadow world, casting its shadows into the world of light. Now it seems to us so dark within, so lonely and chaotic. But how different it will seem to us when this eclipse is past and the shadow is removed. We will enjoy ourselves more than ever, for our spirit has suffered such deprivation.
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Old 03-11-2008, 04:49 PM   #49
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KnottyOne View Post
Gotta agree with Em here, of the relationships I have been in, the ones where we have sex before we're officically "together" whether it be the first daye or before do tend to work out better. Mind you I'm not as far as her w/ the whole living together/engaged thing but for me it usually does. Sex is at times something more then physical, I do think that you can't truly know how you feel about someone till you reach that level of full physical and spiritual understanding. And I feel sex is the easiest way to do it. Having it all on the first date is a great way to know how things will go in the future. And if it doesn't feel right, as long as both parties had fun and agree, no harm done.

I like how you put this, Knotty. Thanks
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Old 03-11-2008, 04:58 PM   #50
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talk about a huge mistake- i recently was completely enamored of a guy from a nearby Ivy who seemed perfect- valedictorian, frat boy, jock...we had sex on the first date. i DEFINITELY got the "puppy dog eyes". good way to put it.

i didn't think it was a big deal because we both wanted it and we would cuddle in bed for hours afterwards...he brought me to his frat's cocktail party...

only to find out a month later that he had been seeing other people. when i asked him about it, he said he thought i was a whore from day one and hoped he taught me a lesson about how to behave with guys!
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