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Old 10-09-2005, 10:49 AM   #1
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Default Mothers, Daughters and Obesity

It sounds like many other fat women on this board got earfuls of mixed messages from their mothers when they were growing up. Almost sounds like I had it easy.

Obesity is Hereditary: You Get It From Your Children. Or so my mother believes. I'll bet one reason my mother harped about my weight as a girl was her own figure wasn't "perfect". To hear her tell it, she had a perfect figure until I was born, and ever since then she's had a little belly that annoys the dickens out of her. Not that she's really fat by any means. Not that the birth of my brother 2 years later had anything to do with it -- he's thin. So, even though she's never actually said it, but she behaves like her fat daughter made her "fat". Yeah right, Mom, obesity is contageous.

Yesterday Art & I visited my parents, and I do love them -- both 73 and still going strong. My father needed some help moving some furniture so Art gave him a hand, which was 10 minutes' work, tops. As soon as we walked in the door, I could smell my mother's gourmet cooking. She's convinced that Art & I will starve to death if she doesn't cook for a small army whenever we visit. Considering her attitude about my weight, she conveniently forgets that I could live on my fat for a year.

So while Art helped my father, I walked into the kitchen to help my mother. Mom always makes comments about my weight, or complains about her non-existent rolls of fat. I used to dread waiting for it to happen, but now I just head her off at the pass (it's fun to be a wise ass).

Sue: Smells great, Mom. I should have worn bigger jeans.
Mom: Doesn't it bother you to have that belly of yours hanging out for all the world to see?
Sue: If it gets any bigger, I'll buy a wheelbarrow, I promise.
Mom: Very funny.

We had a really nice visit, and I sure put away the food. After dinner we had a nice long chat, and Mom brought out her killer chocolate cream pie for dessert. We had lotsa leftovers to take home with us too. I know my mother only wants what's best for me, which is why she feeds me until I pop some buttons, yet also frets over how fat I am. But I'm a big girl now, so I've learn how to handle her mixed messages.

So what does my father think about my weight? As far as he's concerned, I turned out just fine. I've never heard him comment about my size, except to call me "Daddy's Little Girl". Yep, Art & I are in our late 40s with rewarding careers, and they still call us "you kids".

Excuse me, I hear some leftover chocolate cream pie calling my name.

Sue
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Old 10-10-2005, 06:05 AM   #2
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Originally Posted by TallFatSue
Obesity is Hereditary: You Get It From Your Children. Or so my mother believes. I'll bet one reason my mother harped about my weight as a girl was her own figure wasn't "perfect". To hear her tell it, she had a perfect figure until I was born, and ever since then she's had a little belly that annoys the dickens out of her. Not that she's really fat by any means. Not that the birth of my brother 2 years later had anything to do with it -- he's thin. So, even though she's never actually said it, but she behaves like her fat daughter made her "fat". Yeah right, Mom, obesity is contageous.

Excuse me, I hear some leftover chocolate cream pie calling my name.

Sue
What's next, are they going to claim we all "choose" to fat while we were still in the womb?
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Old 10-10-2005, 06:39 AM   #3
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That, and then an extreme religious zealot countering with how fatness isn't in God's plan. Bring up walruses and he says they were creations of Satan...
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Old 10-10-2005, 08:03 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by TallFatSue
It sounds like many other fat women on this board got earfuls of mixed messages from their mothers when they were growing up. Almost sounds like I had it easy.
Sue, I think the interaction between fat daughters and thin or average sized mothers could fill several very thick books.

If it's a woman's own daughter I suppose the main thrust will be that her fat daughter will never get a man. If it's her daughter in law, it's that her precious son could have done so much better than some fat woman....
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Old 10-10-2005, 09:01 AM   #5
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I was adopted, and have had two adopted mothers (the first died when I was 4 and my dad remarried shortly after), both of them were thin when they married Dad, and both ended up gaining weight and becoming fat (gosh, is it something about my dad? LOL). I wasn't fat as a child, but was chunky and neither of my parents said anything about it. Food was never restricted because of my weight, tho we were not allowed to eat at will (ie. snack between meals), and my brother was extremely thin, so we were treated the same. As an adult, when I'd put some weight on, I do remember my dad commenting on how I should lose, or I'd never find a decent job. Yet my weight never seemed to be a factor in finding employment. He hasn't said anything about it in well over 10 years now. Perhaps I'm just lucky, but I very rarely have anyone IRL say anything about my weight - except doctors!

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Old 10-10-2005, 05:15 PM   #6
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My mother used to be an aerobics instructor, and she wakes up every morning at 5, works out for at least an hour, bikes to work, walks the dog, goes out to the country and rides horses, and sometimes bikes around some more for fun. She eats salads almost exclusively, and every time we go out to a restraunt she doesn't order anything, waiting until we get home to eat a salad without dressing.

Luckily for me, my mom is also a very wonderful person, and I've never heard her say anything bad about anyone at any weight. Although she's big on encouraging the family to eat healthy and exercise, she'll still make burgers for the family if we ask nicely. And when I gained about twenty pounds in a month when I was on Depakote, she didn't say a word. Meanwhile, my dad is my ally in getting Cheetos and pie.

Moral of the story? A wonderful parent is a wonderful parent no matter what their weight. My mom's just a lovely (eerily energetic and perky, though) person in general.
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Old 10-11-2005, 01:41 PM   #7
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My father said something interesting. "Don't worry about your mother. She loves you, but she's not happy unless she can fuss over something. You remember when you and your brother were little, and your mother would always make us pass inspection whenever we went to a restaurant? I always made sure my tie was a little crooked and part of my collar was turned over, just so she could fix it. Then she'd be happy for the rest of the evening."

Now that is a new way of looking at it. I'd always tried to please my mom growing up--I was the oldest of 4 kids, and certain things were expected. I was consistently on the honor roll, stayed out of trouble, learned the "female" skills: cooking, sewing, etc. But there always had to be something. She literally harped about my weight so much, I wonder if I subconsciously sabotoged her attempts to diet me to normalcy. You know, what I could control, or something.

The criticism continued through and beyond college. I ended up substitute teaching for years. More than once I heard; "Lose some weight so you can get a job and get a man." It hurt, but life took care of things. I found a teaching position. Ended up quitting after 7 years, but it had nothing to do with my weight. Long side story there...

Met a wonderful man when I was 31, and married him when I was 33, and now after almost 3 years married, we want to start a family. NOW I seem to finally be meeting with maternal approval. Most of the time.

Anyway, Mom-daughter relationships are complicated. Mom had been a little bit heavy growing up, but nothing like me. And she'd taken a lot of grief from classmates and teachers, and I truly think she wanted to spare me some of it. Moms also often hope their daughters be able to live the dreams they themselves couldn't. I think the disappointment when a daughter turns into her own person hits really hard.

I guess that's enough rambling, but any psychologist tackling this one would be in for a heck of a ride.
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Old 10-12-2005, 03:26 PM   #8
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My mom went off the deep end and entered a midlife crisis that involved dating my high school friends. I don't put much credence in a relationship with her, since she really didn't raise me She may have installed my buttons, but I actually chose my "mom," a kind wisened lady who has inspired me to be who I am, accept it, grow, and live life to its fullest. She, too, is overweight, and has been an example to me in that, too.

Now, I'm a mom, and my son is a healthy eater! He's not overweight, but he's hungry every 2.5 hours. I let his hunger control his eating, but I also ask him if he's bored before he gets a snack. I tease him about always being hungry, maybe that's not a good thing, but we both do get a laugh out of it
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Old 10-13-2005, 12:11 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by TallFatSue
It sounds like many other fat women on this board got earfuls of mixed messages from their mothers when they were growing up. Almost sounds like I had it easy.

.............
Excuse me, I hear some leftover chocolate cream pie calling my name.

Sue

Thanks for writing this. My relationship w/my mother was awful. The weight issue was just one of many she harped on consistently.

My mom is 4'11'' and weighed less than 100lbs for most of her life.

I was her biggest disappointment.

Just tonight, she told me, "you don't take care of yourself."

This is from a woman who has NEVER been inside of a gym, smokes, eats red meat and salt, drinks more Pepsi than water, AND has heart disease/hypertension/asthma/RA and still won't take care of herself...

It hurts me to the core

I'm just glad to read someone else's story...it means a lot
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Old 10-14-2005, 08:40 AM   #10
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I got the same things as everyone else growing up. Everyone seems to think that they can 'shame' you somehow into losing weight.

What's so weird about the whole thing is that my mom is kind of a feeder. To her, food is love and if you gobble up what she feeds you and rave about how great it is she'll practically levitate off the ground and fly off into the night she's so thrilled. One moment she'll launch into a long sermon of hand wringing advice and dire prophecies about my weight and then 10 minutes later she'll hand me a platter with a 10 pound pork shoulder on it that she made specifically for me to take home. She asks me how it was and I've learned that it's best to tell her I started nibbling on it the moment I walked in the door. She'll howl with delight knowing I just couldn't restrain myself from eating her stuff. She's a puzzle that one. And don't EVER cook anything and bring it to her home. She's super competitive. You cannot enter her home without being handed a plate of something. And SHE'S not fat, nor is anyone else in the family! Guess I'm just lucky.

Nobody gives me a hard time about my weight much any more. I'm fairly mean about telling people to mind their own business so I think everyone's afraid. Mom still tosses out a shot maybe three times a year and I just let her have her say. We're actually quite close. She can't help who she is any more than I can so it's a compromise.
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Old 10-14-2005, 11:58 AM   #11
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Everyone seems to think that they can 'shame' you somehow into losing weight.

What's so weird about the whole thing is that my mom is kind of a feeder. To her, food is love and if you gobble up what she feeds you and rave about how great it is she'll practically levitate off the ground and fly off into the night she's so thrilled. One moment she'll launch into a long sermon of hand wringing advice and dire prophecies about my weight and then 10 minutes later she'll hand me a platter with a 10 pound pork shoulder on it that she made specifically for me to take home.

Yep, lots of mixed messages from families. My mom does some of the same stuff. Except she'll acknowledge that I'm a pretty good cook myself, and she asks for an occasional recipe.

When she does say something about my weight now, I can sum it up with "Never trust a skinny cook," and we're both OK for a while with that one.
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Old 10-14-2005, 01:11 PM   #12
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It's really amazing to see how many of us grew up with mixed messages from our parents like "Clean your plate, but lose the weight." My mother wasn't so unusual after all. If I knew then what I know now ...

Sue
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Old 10-14-2005, 01:19 PM   #13
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It's really amazing to see how many of us grew up with mixed messages from our parents like "Clean your plate, but lose the weight." My mother wasn't so unusual after all. If I knew then what I know now ...

Sue

I never had any mixed messages at all. Fat (and for the most part, food) was to be avoided at all costs. My mother has never overfed anyone in her life. Dinner for us would be something like 2 chicken breasts split amongst 4 people. Dessert only on very special occasions such as Thanksgiving or Christmas or birthdays (though I must say my mother is a very good from-scratch cook).
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Old 10-14-2005, 01:32 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by Webmaster
If it's her daughter in law, it's that her precious son could have done so much better than some fat woman....
This is soooo true in my experience. My m-in-law's first reaction to me was pleasant to my face, but she did ask my husband, (who happends to be a very large man himself), "Will she be healthy enough for you son?"

I wonder if that comment was the fact in her mind, fat does not equal children or what, but I haven't ever confronted or approached her about the subject. She's not unfriendly towards me, but you can definitely tell I'm not a favorite person of hers.
I asked Mr. M if his mother wondered if he was healthy enough for me, considering he is only 20lbs less than me as far as weight is concerned and his reply is, "well, she didn't mention it."

My mother was a heavy woman all her life and I can only remember a few times she gave grief concerning my weight. It was usually out of frustration when it was school clothes shopping time.

My father on the other hand was always fine with me. He would tell me a true gentleman will not care what I am on the outside, rather care I am a beautiful woman on the inside.
Yeaup, my pop was pretty cool in that regard.
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Old 10-14-2005, 01:40 PM   #15
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Thanks for writing this. My relationship w/my mother was awful. The weight issue was just one of many she harped on consistently.

My mom is 4'11'' and weighed less than 100lbs for most of her life.

I was her biggest disappointment.

Just tonight, she told me, "you don't take care of yourself."

This is from a woman who has NEVER been inside of a gym, smokes, eats red meat and salt, drinks more Pepsi than water, AND has heart disease/hypertension/asthma/RA and still won't take care of herself...

It hurts me to the core

I'm just glad to read someone else's story...it means a lot

This is what I call PROJECTING!! Your mother obviously has issues with her own health, yet has a hard time dealing with them. She looks at you and projects her *denial* onto you, because she has bought, hook-line-sinker, the media *BS* that is shoved down our throats all day.

Next time she says something like that to you, your reply should be something like this, "I take care of myself just fine mom..." "...pretty healthy too, but now if your refering to the second hand smoke thing, well...yeah, I've been concerned about that too."

Good luck to you....I know how difficult it is to *suck it in*.
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Old 10-14-2005, 02:11 PM   #16
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Default That mother-in-law thing....

Yup, my mom was guilty of this. No real surprise because she has always had a bias against fat folk--although she is one of those moms that at the same time is always pushing food at you.

When my now wife first met my family she was about a size 12/14, and I could tell that my mom was not totally impressed. I was in my final year of university at the time, and after I graduated I took some months to find work, and then ended up a few hundred miles away from my girl friend (a solid size 14 by then). My mom made some not so subtle comments to me that maybe it was time to move on and that it made more sense to find a new girlfriend. I don't know that this was specifically weight related, but it may have been a factor. That may helped encourage me to make the long distance thing work

When we got married my wife was about a size 18 (and I was about 20 pounds heavier than when we'd met), and whenever we were visiting my parents, my mom was frequently irrationally committed to getting us to go for a walk or some such--we were actually fairly active at the time, but she didn't seem to believe it.

We ended up moving to the same town as my parents a year after getting married. My wife was up to a size 20, and I had gained 20 pounds since the wedding. My wife moved up first and stayed with my parents for a few months before I moved up. Thing was that then my mother finally realized just how much we walked and biked, and how healthily we ate. My wife biked to work most days, about an hour's ride each way for her, and so on. After that I heard my mother explaining how healthy our lifestyle was to some of her friends, I guess assuming that they would have made unfavorable judgements of our slovenly fat-folk ways. I was glad that she was no longer making subtle comments in that way (although she still makes digs to me about my weight), but I'd rather she felt no need to comment on the topic at all.

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Old 10-16-2005, 12:00 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Aliena
This is what I call PROJECTING!!
I've read so many posts here and said "Yes! Yes! Yes!" because the very same things have happened to me. It's really cool that other people make the same comments about my experiences too. So I don't have a monopoly on the big 3 M: Mixed-Message Mothers.

Saturday afternoon my 73-year-old mother wanted me to shop for clothes with her. Considering I'm 20 sizes bigger, it's always an adventure. She doesn't nag me toooo awfully much about my weight nowadays (something about me having a good career and a great husband might have convinced her that there's more to me than body fat). But she still uncorks a few zingers now and then: "That dress makes your butt look big." "Mom, my butt is big." Some of you have mentioned that your mothers project their own problems onto you, and I'm sure my mother projects her own annoyance with her little round belly onto me.

It's déjà vu all over again. One thing that really tickles me is when an author "gets it" which is why I like Denise Swanson so much. Last week I finished her latest book, and this morning I looked up a shopping scene in an earlier book because it rang a bell. Change some names and it could have been my mother and me yesterday (except my mother is just a couple sizes larger than the mother in that book), so I scanned a couple pages (see below).

Afterward Mom & I went to lunch at Panera Café. I like their semi-booth seating: padded bench along the wall on one side of the table and regular chairs on the other side. My double-wide butt loves the full support of bench seating, and I know we can slide the table to accommodate my belly and boobage. I always expect my mother to make a comment about me needing the extra space, but she didn't. Nope, she waited until I was about to take my first bite (I had French onion soup and a smoked turkey club sandwich, yum yum): "Do you think you should be eating all of that?" "Yes, Mom. That's why it's called food." I ate everything too, but my mother only picked at about half of her lunch. And later of course she got hungry again. Mothers, gotta love 'em.

Sue

Murder of a Barbie and Ken by Denise Swanson:
Quote:
Shopping for clothing for May was tricky. She wanted an outfit to make her look ten years younger, ten pounds slimmer, and ten times more beautiful. Skye held up a red dress for her inspection.

"You know I don't look good in red."

"Sorry." Skye felt her eye start to twitch. "Give me a hint. What should I be looking for?"

May ticked off the requirements on her fingers. "Nothing fancy. It should be casual, but in a dressy way. No black. Not long, but not short either."

"Okay." Skye's head was spinning with the conflicting descriptions. "That should be easy to find."

"And I don't want to pay a lot of money for it."

It would be a long day. Skye held up another dress, this one a navy blue with a straight skirt and a tailored bodice.

"No. That's too fitted. It would show all my rolls of fat."

Skye bit the inside of her cheek. Her mother wore a size six or eight, and the only bulges were in her imagination.

May finally found a couple of dresses to try on and Skye perched on a bench outside the dressing room, waiting for her mother's command to bring her a different size or color.

The white louvered doors burst open. May strode to the three-way mirror and turned from side to side. "What do you think?"

Before Skye could answer her mother declared, "It doesn't do anything for me, does it?"

The dress hung loosely on May's small frame. "It's too big." Skye tilted her head. "Why don't I get an eight?" May had insisted on trying on a twelve.

"Then it would be too tight." May's expression was stubborn. "Let me try on the other one and see if I like it."

"Go ahead. I'll be right here." Skye resumed her seat.

The second dress fit a lot better--but May concluded the neckline was too low. Skye's suggestion of a scarf was vetoed, and May decided they should go on to the next store.
PS. Itty bitty rant: I'm thrilled whenever I see a good fat actress on the screen like Kathy Bates, Lindsay Hollister or Conchata Ferrell. But in the back of my mind I'll always remember Kirstey Alley, who built her show Fat Actress around her size, but then lost weight anyway. And if fat actresses as talented as Camryn Mannheim and Kathy Najimy need to lose weight to remain employable, then Hollywood still has unrealistic views about women of size. That's one reason I support plus-sized writers like Charlaine Harris, Denise Swanson, Jennifer Weiner etc. They're in the public eye as authors, but since they're somewhat behind the scenes, they can be successful fat women and not face quite the same pressure to lose weight and conform to unrealistic standards. (End of rant)

Last edited by TallFatSue; 10-16-2005 at 05:25 PM.
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Old 10-16-2005, 05:10 PM   #18
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Default Thanks, Sue

Just wanted to say Thank you for starting this thread. I agree many of the experiences seemed similar across the board, and it helps so much to know that none of us is alone.

You should have seen my mom's face when I mentioned the 2-piece swimsuit my husband bought for me a few years ago. She can hardly believe it, yet!

Betty
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Old 10-16-2005, 05:40 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BBW Betty
Just wanted to say Thank you for starting this thread. I agree many of the experiences seemed similar across the board, and it helps so much to know that none of us is alone.

You should have seen my mom's face when I mentioned the 2-piece swimsuit my husband bought for me a few years ago. She can hardly believe it, yet!

Betty
Yeah I have both 1-piece and 2-piece swimsuits. Last February Art & I went to Acapulco, and back at home when I passed around our photo album, of course my mother was aghast that I wore a 2-piece swimsuit with -- all together now -- "that belly of yours hanging out for all the world to see."

Art & I had a great time in Acapulco. One surprise of that vacation was that I ticked off a bevy of skinny little bambis half my age because I inadvertently stole their limelight. I was laughing and just being my usual friendly wise ass on the beach and in the pools at our resort that some men were buying me drinks at the swim-up bar and ignoring the bambis. Finally one of the bambis groused that it must be whale season down here. So I replied, "I see you're practising birth control -- with your personality." Art thought it was hilarious. It's all part of being his "trophy wife", ya know.

Sue

PS. Despite my mother's occasional comments about my size, she loves to shop or have lunch with me every week or two, so I must have some redeeming qualities. She rarely does stuff with my brother's wife (my Sister-In-Law, whom I call SIL or Silly or sometimes S-O-L, depending on how much of a wise gal I am). SIL is a thin fashion princess, impeccably dressed and every hair in place, who gives air kisses. My mother says their picture-perfect house needs velvet ropes like a museum.

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Old 10-17-2005, 08:43 AM   #20
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This turned out to be a very valuable thread. Not only does it contains many accounts of the often difficult relationships between fat women and their mothers, it also makes those accounts available to other fat women posters/readers. This is the kind of free-flowing, educational. liberating exchange of information in a size-positive environment that is at the core of the Dimensions philosophy.

I am therefore making this thread a stickie so that it remains visible and accessible. In time, I may set up a special section for particularly valuable and informative threads.
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Old 10-17-2005, 09:17 AM   #21
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[QUOTE=TallFatSue]My father said something interesting. "Don't worry about your mother. She loves you, but she's not happy unless she can fuss over something. You remember when you and your brother were little, and your mother would always make us pass inspection whenever we went to a restaurant? I always made sure my tie was a little crooked and part of my collar was turned over, just so she could fix it. Then she'd be happy for the rest of the evening."
QUOTE]

Sue, just now read this and I have to say--fascinating. I mean, really. How perceptive and insightful your father must be. Nice of him to play to your mother, too (know what I mean? He knows what to do to smooth the waters, something we either often don't know how to do or are not willing to do). I'll be thinking about his comment all day long, I'm sure.


Jes

edited to say: i'm too lazy to go back and fix my quoting mistake, but i'll at least acknolwedge it.

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Old 10-17-2005, 10:23 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TallFatSue
So I replied, "I see you're practising birth control -- with your personality."
This is one of the best quips I've read in a long time. I will have to remember this one in the future; it brought a huge smile to my face!!
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Old 10-18-2005, 12:32 PM   #23
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Ahh my mum is strange.

As a child I never got sweets like everyone else. My school lunch would consist of a 1 slice of bread sandwhich (with something like low sugar jam in it, no butter) and a low fat yogart. I always felt left out coz the other kids had chocolate and crisps almost every day. I was allowed 25p a week, so I could buy one chocolate bar on a friday, but she always used to go mad if I just ate it like normal, she wanted me to suck it and make it last. Don't get me wrong we weren't poor, I never lacked for clothes, toys or anything else. That went on till highschool, and when I didn't take a sandwhich to school, I wasn't allowed dinner in the evening if I had lunch at school.
The meals at home were always small and healthy. But even though I stuck to this I was always big and I always got called a pig by her and told that I was eating too much.
These days she doesn't bother so much, but at the moment she's getting frustrated with my newly aquired strange eating habbits.
Though even now she can't understand why I don't eat like her. (She normally has some toast in the morning and either a bowl of cerial in the evening or beans on toast) and she's weird about it if I eat more than one meal in a day.
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Old 10-21-2005, 03:39 AM   #24
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Default a mother's love

My mom used to obsess over my weight... from a very young age, i remember her talking to my aunt about it, i must have been about 6 or 7 and my aunt just said "ah, she'll grow out of it"... but guess what, I didn't! Soon after that I remember my aunt coming up to me and telling me that I should practise sucking my tummy in at all times- she said she did it... (she is and has always been stick thin btw, her heaviest weight was when she was pregnant... a whopping 65kgs! *sarcasm drips*)

Back to my mom... she used to monitor what i ate like an eagle, "that's enough nicole" was a common phrase... and then there were the constant surprise weigh-ins she would do. I hated and feared those days. By the age of about 15 i began lying to my mother about my weight, just to get her off my case. But eventually i cracked; i hated lying to her.... so i told her... and we had a long conversation about it... me committing myself to losing weight, with her help. And I did... but it was hell, i hated the gym... don't like sweating so... you can imagine, sweating in public was a nightmare. And then the eating, or NOT eating. Gah! I hated it. But i lost weight... but it didn't change anything. Probably didn't help that my mom said at one point that she had felt she had "failed me" because I was so fat.

My mom has issues with weight herself... she has never been as big as me, but has faced criticism in her childhood for being healthy... so i think alot of her issues with weight have been re-projected on to me. Sighs. And it's sad... i know my mom loves me, but it's sad to think that she wants me to change... you know? She is concerned with my health I am sure... but i am also sure that her issues are deeper than that, that she fears that I may not find a partner because of my size... that I may be treated differently.... and the concern is because she loves me... but it still hurts somewhere, that she doesn't believe that I am enough.... that I have enough power within me to get what I want... and that that belief has been holding me back for SO many years now. I have hated my size since... about 12... so even though i am 20, it seems like a very long time to me... But i am glad to say that i am slowly moving out of that... and thinking for myself... in my opinion it's about finding the power and strength to look beyond societal influence (incl. mothers and extended family) and finding acceptance within yourself.
Getting to that point... has been the hardest part for me... so here i am for all to behold: the process of re-programming has begun.
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Old 10-21-2005, 04:13 AM   #25
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... so here i am for all to behold: the process of re-programming has begun.
And I am so excited for you. You have so much to look forward to Nicole, the best is yet to come!
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