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Old 06-20-2008, 10:44 AM   #51
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I was in chat a few weeks ago and had a 21 year old boy tell me that he'd been viewing my pictures since he was 14...i nearly fell out of my chair. I felt about as old as the hills when he said that lol

and thank you i'd really hoped to shed some new light on a touchy subject.


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No, that isn't possible....you are one of those 'new' people! So if you've been around here that long, and I'd been here well before you, that means.....

But on a more serious note, thank you for all you've said in this thread. I think it has been a really valuable contribution to Dimensions.
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Old 06-20-2008, 11:37 AM   #52
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OK...I haven't yet really experienced a feeder/feedee relationship although the idea does entice me a bit.The way I look at it is for some the relationship may be associated with childhood memories.The thoughts of the parent(feeder) giving sustinance & nourishment to the baby(feedee).The love in the act itself is a form of fullfillment to both.I enjoy eating & I also enjoy watching a lady enjoy her meal.If I can help her or she help me to enjoy it even more then all the better.As many here have said as long as it's between consenting adults & guidelines have been set then I feel all that can come from it is good for both.
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Old 06-20-2008, 04:07 PM   #53
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amen ..and that's all that matters in the end

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As many here have said as long as it's between consenting adults & guidelines have been set then I feel all that can come from it is good for both.
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Old 06-21-2008, 01:29 AM   #54
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Originally Posted by largenlovely View Post
yes ancient times lol...i've had a website for 8+ years and had found dimensions a year prior to that. So i've been around for almost a decade now. It's really shocking to me when i think of it in those terms lol.

but really....what an amazing compliment one of the best i've ever received...thank you so much.
You've had a site since I was a freshman in high school? Damn I'm old :-( lol
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Old 06-21-2008, 12:03 PM   #55
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YOU?? what about ME lol


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You've had a site since I was a freshman in high school? Damn I'm old :-( lol
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Old 06-21-2008, 02:13 PM   #56
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YOU?? what about ME lol
Good point....I'll go find matching canes that we can poke the young whipersnappers with lol
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Old 06-23-2008, 02:01 PM   #57
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YOU?? what about ME lol
Same here, you must have been one of the first girl I saw on the web and now I'm almost 20
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Old 06-23-2008, 02:21 PM   #58
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I'm scared to even ask what age that was when you first saw lol


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Same here, you must have been one of the first girl I saw on the web and now I'm almost 20
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Old 06-23-2008, 02:47 PM   #59
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Originally Posted by largenlovely View Post
I'm scared to even ask what age that was when you first saw lol
Yeah it's kinda weird to think about it ... but it was one of those amazing moments for me in finding a new community/"world"
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Old 06-23-2008, 04:41 PM   #60
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Originally Posted by largenlovely View Post
I was in chat a few weeks ago and had a 21 year old boy tell me that he'd been viewing my pictures since he was 14
Yeah, not me, but I have seen you on Big Cuties since i was 13, don't even ask how I got on there. It's was real simple back then to take out the child safeguard on aol, even easier when your mother's password was her initials and birth year. Anyway, yeah, I've been around posting from time to time, it has been a long time, but you haven't aged at all. If anything you've become even more beautiful than you were back then.
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Old 06-23-2008, 05:48 PM   #61
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aawww that's very sweet..it really made me smile

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Yeah it's kinda weird to think about it ... but it was one of those amazing moments for me in finding a new community/"world"
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Old 06-23-2008, 05:49 PM   #62
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omg i love you..you're my new best friend hehehe

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Yeah, not me, but I have seen you on Big Cuties since i was 13, don't even ask how I got on there. It's was real simple back then to take out the child safeguard on aol, even easier when your mother's password was her initials and birth year. Anyway, yeah, I've been around posting from time to time, it has been a long time, but you haven't aged at all. If anything you've become even more beautiful than you were back then.
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Old 06-23-2008, 08:47 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by largenlovely View Post
YOU?? what about ME lol
OK, I've just viewed the forums often, never posted. But I must echo the other comments.

Melissa is one of the first SSBBWs I saw on the Internet, and I was in high school at the time. Somehow a search for fat women turned up a story from the dimensions library. From there, I somehow discovered largenlovely.

From then to the day I was old enough to get my own credit card to actually sign up for her site , it was all good. That was the SouthernCharms site. While I do like some other models, and have kept accounts with a few, Melissa was the first site I signed up for and still the only one I've kept active for a few years now, from BigCuties to the current, From then at about 335 I think to whatever you weigh now, you are really it. Thanks, and trust us, you're not old. We wouldn't be lining up like we do if you were anything but truly awesome.
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Old 06-23-2008, 08:55 PM   #64
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omg y'all are really starting to make me blush

that is just so sweet i don't even know where to begin that southern charms site was sooooo long ago hehe. Back then i was taking pics with a rotten camera. There wasn't even a memory on the camera. I'd have to place the camera on a tripod, hit the timer button and run get in place to take a picture.... No LCD screen even, so i'd have to guess at placement. If i messed it up and cut off my head or something i'd have to delete and retake the pic. Then i'd have to immediately upload the pic and then repeat process...and the quality...oh my lol. ...anyone who joined my site back then was TRULY dedicated hahaha. So..really...that is just a huge huge compliment thank you so very much

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OK, I've just viewed the forums often, never posted. But I must echo the other comments.

Melissa is one of the first SSBBWs I saw on the Internet, and I was in high school at the time. Somehow a search for fat women turned up a story from the dimensions library. From there, I somehow discovered largenlovely.

From then to the day I was old enough to get my own credit card to actually sign up for her site , it was all good. That was the SouthernCharms site. While I do like some other models, and have kept accounts with a few, Melissa was the first site I signed up for and still the only one I've kept active for a few years now, from BigCuties to the current, From then at about 335 I think to whatever you weigh now, you are really it. Thanks, and trust us, you're not old. We wouldn't be lining up like we do if you were anything but truly awesome.
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Old 06-24-2008, 08:20 AM   #65
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Maybe this is off topic, or maybe it isn't....

Largenlovely, I’ve never been to your pay sites, but I’ve seen you around Dimensions chat and boards since whenever you first started coming here, and I’d say that there has never been a time when you didn’t live up to your name. Really, I think the truth is that you are simply beautiful, size be darned. The fact that you like being fat and have such a great attitude and have gained weight and all that may have won you extra fans, but I think whatever you did, at whatever size, there would be guys eager to look at you.

Which does make you a good spokesperson for gaining, because I think you can make anything look good *L*
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Old 06-24-2008, 11:11 AM   #66
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thank you so much Ed I think gaining was/is a natural thing for me.. regardless of reasoning from childhood....I find it so interesting how at first i was probably doing it on purpose for negative reasons and now i just let it happen without reason. It's interesting how things turn out lol

but thank you so much It's kind of like i've grown up on the boards (pardon the pun) lol. I mean, starting here in my mid 20's and now going on my mid 30's ...there's a huge difference in the person i used to be...but thank you so much i can't even tell y'all how much these compliments mean to me. Dimensions is really just the greatest fat place on earth lol


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Maybe this is off topic, or maybe it isn't....

Largenlovely, Iíve never been to your pay sites, but Iíve seen you around Dimensions chat and boards since whenever you first started coming here, and Iíd say that there has never been a time when you didnít live up to your name. Really, I think the truth is that you are simply beautiful, size be darned. The fact that you like being fat and have such a great attitude and have gained weight and all that may have won you extra fans, but I think whatever you did, at whatever size, there would be guys eager to look at you.

Which does make you a good spokesperson for gaining, because I think you can make anything look good *L*
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Old 06-26-2008, 02:31 AM   #67
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The idea of hurting someone with feeding is pretty frightening to me, but the idea of fatting up a girl is a turn on. I recall watching women I have know grow and I have always found it a turn on.

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This was a beautiful and well-written post, and it has given me a new perspective on the issue. With you guys, feeding seems to be just another way of loving each other, and that's something I can see myself doing.

Thanks for sharing your story with us.
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Old 06-29-2008, 07:50 AM   #68
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Default amazing post......thanks for sharing so honestly

((LnL aka Mellssa)))

I read this part : My virginity was taken by rape at age 15 and then i was raped again a year later. I think that in some way i became my own feeder out of protection. I think there was something inside me that blamed the way i looked for having been raped twice...even though i was still pretty hefty back then because my body is naturally fatter anyway. Subconsiously i think i believed that i would be less likely to be raped a third time if i were larger and "unattractive". That is what society teaches afterall..that fat is unattractive right? (Of course i later learned this was not true obviously hehe). My only reason for mentioning this is to help others.

And was like wow..I have heard that so often, I am a FA of the BHM, although I am in awe of some of the lovely ladies like yourself here. I have been an active member of AA and the food related 12 step groups for the last 12 yrs off and on, and have heard so many women share that the weight started as a protection against rapists...you are a rare and beautiful woman to have dealt as you have and accepted yourself and loved you for you. I applaud and have nothing but respect, thanks for the beautiful post, and share so honestly.
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Old 06-29-2008, 12:49 PM   #69
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thank you I was fortunate and went to a private therapist to deal with those issues...but it wasn't until years later that i realized that i must have also used my weight as some sort of protection mechanism. It's funny how the mind works, especially when you're a teenager. I really had no idea that the thought was prevalent...when Bruce told me not so long ago that he had heard of others saying they felt this way, i was surprised. I'm also surprised to hear you say that you've heard it a lot. I think it also helps validate my own psychoanalysis lol so i thank you for that


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And was like wow..I have heard that so often, I am a FA of the BHM, although I am in awe of some of the lovely ladies like yourself here. I have been an active member of AA and the food related 12 step groups for the last 12 yrs off and on, and have heard so many women share that the weight started as a protection against rapists...you are a rare and beautiful woman to have dealt as you have and accepted yourself and loved you for you. I applaud and have nothing but respect, thanks for the beautiful post, and share so honestly.
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Old 06-29-2008, 02:45 PM   #70
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Melissa, I too have heard about the rape factor as a young person and then gaining weight in a direct, aggressive manner so as to become "fat, ugly, and unattractive." Where many of us know that being fat does not usually constitute being ugly or unattractive, it is readily viewable that many people see it that way. It is sad. But, I wanted you to know that I have heard of it as well, and that I am glad you have written about your personal experiences and have made it available to open eyes. Your honesty, candor, and expression are remarkable.

I also am glad that you posted this post (as many others have stated), especially for the Feeder perspective. I am not sure if I am a feeder or not; I have never participated in such activities, and I am not sure how I might feel about them in those situations. While I have been a member of this community, I have seem the contemporary view of Feederism, and feel that it is prejudged entirely too often. I feel that Feederism is not always about weight gain, is not always about immobility, is not always about pain & suffering (garmonbozia for you Twin Peaks fans), and is reliant on the person or persons at hand. I feel that it (Feederism) is just an enjoyment of food in any number of ways ("foodie", "feedee", "feeder", etc...), and can be expressed in so many different fashions.
I am glad to read that your experiences with Bruce have been nothing but positive and wonderful. I agree with your perception, and am very glad to see that it is possible to sway to that side of a relationship even when having been presented with negative reviews in the first place (of Feederism in general).

Thank you very much for sharing your story, Melissa.
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Old 06-29-2008, 03:03 PM   #71
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I just thought of something that I wanted to add to this thread, and rather than Editing it into my post, I decided to post yet again.

My mother used to be [for many, many years] a psychologist. She is a very liberal person (political leanings aside), and goes into everything with a very open mind and keen perspective.
A long time ago, when I first introduced my mother into the life of "Fat Admirers," she wanted to learn about such things on her own. I did not introduce her into this community, and I have since then. Well, she took some time out and did some research on the life of "Fat Admirers." I'm not sure what her sources were or the information she had been presented with, but the forefront term she was given was "Feeder." I like to think that she was entirely clueless of the term and went in, yet again, with an open mind, but I do not think that was the case.
Over the course of her research into "Feederism," she read many negative views and instances of outcome. She did not read very many positive things about "Feederism," and has since never been educated about the realities that many have in relation to "Feederism." The positive things, I mean.

It's not a very good story, and has no real bearing on anything, but I wanted to share that little bit of information on this thread that the negative sanctions of "Feederism" are readily available, yet not necessarily the commonplace. I hope others try to continue their level of open-mindedness when it comes to this topic of discussion. And, yet again, thanks for sharing your story, Melissa.
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Old 07-04-2008, 07:12 PM   #72
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I think there are several reasons for the cliche negative views on feederism.

Foremost, it's hard for many people to fathom that the feedee may be into it and may want to gain weight. After all, fat is negative, so if obviously nobody would want to be fat, an activity that might make a person fatter has to be harmful and coercive. This is of course utter bullshit. I've been involved in 2 feeding situations and in both cases, my partners wanted to gain weight and wanted to be fat. They loved it.

Second it's presumed that the only outcome from feederism must be excessive weight gain. In some cases, there is no weight gain at all. Some partners may practice feeding or stuffing only occaisionally and neither may need a change in the feedee's weight to feel satisfied. In other cases, the feedee is gaining but is doing so to an acceptable level for him or her and to where the feedee does not feel his or her life or activities are compromised to an unacceptable degree.

Third, since most of the stereotype feederism stories are about male feeders and female feedees, they totally ignore the possible active participation of the feedee. Even in this century, the idea of female sexuality is not one with which everyone is comfortable. In that same stereotype, the male feeder is always always dominant, yet many women here have stated that they are the dominant ones and their feeder serves THEM. In one of my feeding situations, i was definitely the submissive one; my partner loved gaining and my role was to satisfy him by providing him with the feeding/gaining experience.
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Old 07-05-2008, 07:59 PM   #73
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oh i just saw this chimpi....

thank you so much it's funny how you find that there are a lot of other folks with similar methods of thinking when you finally open up and start talking about things And you're right...feederism isn't a prescribed method. It can be about anything two people want it to be about. I think it's awesome that your mom went about checking it out like that...i'm just sad that she only found negative stuff. Maybe you can point her in the direction of this post lol

*big Hugs*

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimpi View Post
Melissa, I too have heard about the rape factor as a young person and then gaining weight in a direct, aggressive manner so as to become "fat, ugly, and unattractive." Where many of us know that being fat does not usually constitute being ugly or unattractive, it is readily viewable that many people see it that way. It is sad. But, I wanted you to know that I have heard of it as well, and that I am glad you have written about your personal experiences and have made it available to open eyes. Your honesty, candor, and expression are remarkable.

I also am glad that you posted this post (as many others have stated), especially for the Feeder perspective. I am not sure if I am a feeder or not; I have never participated in such activities, and I am not sure how I might feel about them in those situations. While I have been a member of this community, I have seem the contemporary view of Feederism, and feel that it is prejudged entirely too often. I feel that Feederism is not always about weight gain, is not always about immobility, is not always about pain & suffering (garmonbozia for you Twin Peaks fans), and is reliant on the person or persons at hand. I feel that it (Feederism) is just an enjoyment of food in any number of ways ("foodie", "feedee", "feeder", etc...), and can be expressed in so many different fashions.
I am glad to read that your experiences with Bruce have been nothing but positive and wonderful. I agree with your perception, and am very glad to see that it is possible to sway to that side of a relationship even when having been presented with negative reviews in the first place (of Feederism in general).

Thank you very much for sharing your story, Melissa.
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Old 08-14-2008, 08:46 AM   #74
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Ok, so......

I found this thread after searching the words 'partner' and 'gaining' as just recently (yeh if you have seen some of my posts over time) I have had to deal with a partner (now an ex) constantly pushing me to gain for him.

I have to say, Melissa's first post rang so many bells for me and I could understand so much of the first half of her story. For so long now I have felt like 'Oh my god, I must be the only fat girl around who isnt willing to gain for anybody.' Hence me coming online today and searching for some guidance.

The person whom has sparked this is/was someone who was one of my first welcomers to the BBW/FA community and from getting to know them, I delved more into this new world. Around 18 months ago, me and thee started talking and over time developed a close relationship online. This further developed into phonecalls and text messages and after a good few months of talking we arranged to meet.

From my side, we got on great. We were pretty firey, always bickering and arguing about silly stuff but (especially from my side) a whole lot of feelings developed. After a while, he would constantly refer to women such as yourself LnL about how great he thought you looked etc. I have to agree, there are so many supersized bbw's whom I think are absolutely beautiful, yourself, Shawna, Heather, Goddess Nicki etc. Stunning stunning ladies, but his utterance of your beautiful selves soon turned into little digs at myself about how he would find me more attractive if I gained to be of the same size.

This is when things got sticky, and I started to pick up on his feederesque notions. It has taken me a terribley long time to become comfortable within the skin that I am now in. I weigh around 280lb's and have never been happier. I am confident, happy and love my body, but obviously it wasnt enough for him to like also. I told him many times of how happy I am as I am, but still he would push for me to gain, say little things about much bigger ladies about how attractive he thought they were and constantly be trying to strike up some deal/bargain with me about hitting certain weight goals for him like 'if you get up to a comfortable size 28(uk) then Ill do..blah blah blah'. But one of the other things that bothered me was I started to think that, 'well what happens when I do get to that size, and I still dont look how he wants me too, does his expectation rise again?'

I began to become terribley irritated by this and also really upset and started doubting myself. It felt like all these years I had been being told by normal guys that they only wanted me if I was thinner, and now, being in this community, I was only going to be wanted if I was bigger. Not only this, but over the time this was all happening in, regardless of the little taunts etc, I was really falling deep for this guy.

I became torn, and thought that maybe I should just gain to make him happy, and thought about it many times. But then the drawback in my mind was that, this guy, was also a closet FA whom didnt want the rest of his family friends to know he liked big girls. So I kinda became stubborn "why should I gain for him, if he cant be honest about me?" I used to think.

Inevitabley after months of this 'relationship' things came to a head when he kinda gave me the ultimatem 'Baby, I really really want you, but I need you to be bigger for me, do this for us?" Was what I was confronted with. I dug my heels in and refused. I did love him (I do still care about him) but his desire it seemed was not for me as person, but for me as some kind of project.

I like yourself Melissa, I suppose have always been my own feeder. I dont purposely go out to gain weight, nor do I purposely go out of my way to lose it either. And this was one of the things which I constantly tried to explain to him. Im happy the way I am, but if I gain/lose a few, its no big deal. Im not gonna go crazy about it. I also said to him after our last confrontation, that he totally went about things in the worst possible way. If he had just left me to my own devices and I had become content, happy and felt supported within the relationship then me gaining I imagine would have just been a natural thing. Like is has been in the past with all my other boyfriends.

So, I kinda now feel bad for turning such a positive thread, negative with my story but I really needed somewhere to get this off my chest and see what other people think about what I have had to say.

Am I bad for not being willing to gain for him? Should I have done it? Im really confused by all of this, and yes I suppose another bad example of a feeder/feedee thing gone wrong. I apologise now if there is anything in this post which offends/may offend anyone. It is un-intentional, honestly. Right now Im pretty confused and a bit mixed up about it all. I seem to have lost a massive amount of confidence from this, feeling like Im not good enough again now for FA's because Im not larger. Will it ever end? I know he is now an ex but it is something that hasnt yet settled in my mind.

Thanks for any responses to this.

Missy_blue_eyez
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Old 08-14-2008, 09:06 AM   #75
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missy_blue_eyez View Post
Ok, so......

I found this thread after searching the words 'partner' and 'gaining' as just recently (yeh if you have seen some of my posts over time) I have had to deal with a partner (now an ex) constantly pushing me to gain for him.

I have to say, Melissa's first post rang so many bells for me and I could understand so much of the first half of her story. For so long now I have felt like 'Oh my god, I must be the only fat girl around who isnt willing to gain for anybody.' Hence me coming online today and searching for some guidance.

The person whom has sparked this is/was someone who was one of my first welcomers to the BBW/FA community and from getting to know them, I delved more into this new world. Around 18 months ago, me and thee started talking and over time developed a close relationship online. This further developed into phonecalls and text messages and after a good few months of talking we arranged to meet.

From my side, we got on great. We were pretty firey, always bickering and arguing about silly stuff but (especially from my side) a whole lot of feelings developed. After a while, he would constantly refer to women such as yourself LnL about how great he thought you looked etc. I have to agree, there are so many supersized bbw's whom I think are absolutely beautiful, yourself, Shawna, Heather, Goddess Nicki etc. Stunning stunning ladies, but his utterance of your beautiful selves soon turned into little digs at myself about how he would find me more attractive if I gained to be of the same size.

This is when things got sticky, and I started to pick up on his feederesque notions. It has taken me a terribley long time to become comfortable within the skin that I am now in. I weigh around 280lb's and have never been happier. I am confident, happy and love my body, but obviously it wasnt enough for him to like also. I told him many times of how happy I am as I am, but still he would push for me to gain, say little things about much bigger ladies about how attractive he thought they were and constantly be trying to strike up some deal/bargain with me about hitting certain weight goals for him like 'if you get up to a comfortable size 28(uk) then Ill do..blah blah blah'. But one of the other things that bothered me was I started to think that, 'well what happens when I do get to that size, and I still dont look how he wants me too, does his expectation rise again?'

I began to become terribley irritated by this and also really upset and started doubting myself. It felt like all these years I had been being told by normal guys that they only wanted me if I was thinner, and now, being in this community, I was only going to be wanted if I was bigger. Not only this, but over the time this was all happening in, regardless of the little taunts etc, I was really falling deep for this guy.

I became torn, and thought that maybe I should just gain to make him happy, and thought about it many times. But then the drawback in my mind was that, this guy, was also a closet FA whom didnt want the rest of his family friends to know he liked big girls. So I kinda became stubborn "why should I gain for him, if he cant be honest about me?" I used to think.

Inevitabley after months of this 'relationship' things came to a head when he kinda gave me the ultimatem 'Baby, I really really want you, but I need you to be bigger for me, do this for us?" Was what I was confronted with. I dug my heels in and refused. I did love him (I do still care about him) but his desire it seemed was not for me as person, but for me as some kind of project.

I like yourself Melissa, I suppose have always been my own feeder. I dont purposely go out to gain weight, nor do I purposely go out of my way to lose it either. And this was one of the things which I constantly tried to explain to him. Im happy the way I am, but if I gain/lose a few, its no big deal. Im not gonna go crazy about it. I also said to him after our last confrontation, that he totally went about things in the worst possible way. If he had just left me to my own devices and I had become content, happy and felt supported within the relationship then me gaining I imagine would have just been a natural thing. Like is has been in the past with all my other boyfriends.

So, I kinda now feel bad for turning such a positive thread, negative with my story but I really needed somewhere to get this off my chest and see what other people think about what I have had to say.

Am I bad for not being willing to gain for him? Should I have done it? Im really confused by all of this, and yes I suppose another bad example of a feeder/feedee thing gone wrong. I apologise now if there is anything in this post which offends/may offend anyone. It is un-intentional, honestly. Right now Im pretty confused and a bit mixed up about it all. I seem to have lost a massive amount of confidence from this, feeling like Im not good enough again now for FA's because Im not larger. Will it ever end? I know he is now an ex but it is something that hasnt yet settled in my mind.

Thanks for any responses to this.

Missy_blue_eyez
You shouldn't have to gain for anyone. You did the right thing by telling him no, I'm proud of you.
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