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Old 08-14-2008, 09:07 AM   #76
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MBE: You dun gud kid

OK, more seriously and grammatically correct, I think you acted with a fine combination of wisdome, self-awareness, and patience. Everything you said about him being in the closet yet expecting you to gain was spot on, I think.

In other words, you chose to be yourself, not somebody's fantasy. NOTHING wrong with that at all.

I'm really sorry that you developed feelings for him, and that those feelings were let down in this way. That part sucks. But when you were developing those feelings, you didn't know where it was all going, so it was pretty natural.

You are an awesome, gorgeous, and I'm sure gorgeous-at-any-size, woman. Any guy who can't appreciate you just the way you are really doesn't deserve your time, IMO.

Regards;

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Old 08-14-2008, 10:09 AM   #77
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missy_blue_eyez View Post
Ok, so......

I found this thread after searching the words 'partner' and 'gaining' as just recently (yeh if you have seen some of my posts over time) I have had to deal with a partner (now an ex) constantly pushing me to gain for him.

I have to say, Melissa's first post rang so many bells for me and I could understand so much of the first half of her story. For so long now I have felt like 'Oh my god, I must be the only fat girl around who isnt willing to gain for anybody.' Hence me coming online today and searching for some guidance.

The person whom has sparked this is/was someone who was one of my first welcomers to the BBW/FA community and from getting to know them, I delved more into this new world. Around 18 months ago, me and thee started talking and over time developed a close relationship online. This further developed into phonecalls and text messages and after a good few months of talking we arranged to meet.

From my side, we got on great. We were pretty firey, always bickering and arguing about silly stuff but (especially from my side) a whole lot of feelings developed. After a while, he would constantly refer to women such as yourself LnL about how great he thought you looked etc. I have to agree, there are so many supersized bbw's whom I think are absolutely beautiful, yourself, Shawna, Heather, Goddess Nicki etc. Stunning stunning ladies, but his utterance of your beautiful selves soon turned into little digs at myself about how he would find me more attractive if I gained to be of the same size.

This is when things got sticky, and I started to pick up on his feederesque notions. It has taken me a terribley long time to become comfortable within the skin that I am now in. I weigh around 280lb's and have never been happier. I am confident, happy and love my body, but obviously it wasnt enough for him to like also. I told him many times of how happy I am as I am, but still he would push for me to gain, say little things about much bigger ladies about how attractive he thought they were and constantly be trying to strike up some deal/bargain with me about hitting certain weight goals for him like 'if you get up to a comfortable size 28(uk) then Ill do..blah blah blah'. But one of the other things that bothered me was I started to think that, 'well what happens when I do get to that size, and I still dont look how he wants me too, does his expectation rise again?'

I began to become terribley irritated by this and also really upset and started doubting myself. It felt like all these years I had been being told by normal guys that they only wanted me if I was thinner, and now, being in this community, I was only going to be wanted if I was bigger. Not only this, but over the time this was all happening in, regardless of the little taunts etc, I was really falling deep for this guy.

I became torn, and thought that maybe I should just gain to make him happy, and thought about it many times. But then the drawback in my mind was that, this guy, was also a closet FA whom didnt want the rest of his family friends to know he liked big girls. So I kinda became stubborn "why should I gain for him, if he cant be honest about me?" I used to think.

Inevitabley after months of this 'relationship' things came to a head when he kinda gave me the ultimatem 'Baby, I really really want you, but I need you to be bigger for me, do this for us?" Was what I was confronted with. I dug my heels in and refused. I did love him (I do still care about him) but his desire it seemed was not for me as person, but for me as some kind of project.

I like yourself Melissa, I suppose have always been my own feeder. I dont purposely go out to gain weight, nor do I purposely go out of my way to lose it either. And this was one of the things which I constantly tried to explain to him. Im happy the way I am, but if I gain/lose a few, its no big deal. Im not gonna go crazy about it. I also said to him after our last confrontation, that he totally went about things in the worst possible way. If he had just left me to my own devices and I had become content, happy and felt supported within the relationship then me gaining I imagine would have just been a natural thing. Like is has been in the past with all my other boyfriends.

So, I kinda now feel bad for turning such a positive thread, negative with my story but I really needed somewhere to get this off my chest and see what other people think about what I have had to say.

Am I bad for not being willing to gain for him? Should I have done it? Im really confused by all of this, and yes I suppose another bad example of a feeder/feedee thing gone wrong. I apologise now if there is anything in this post which offends/may offend anyone. It is un-intentional, honestly. Right now Im pretty confused and a bit mixed up about it all. I seem to have lost a massive amount of confidence from this, feeling like Im not good enough again now for FA's because Im not larger. Will it ever end? I know he is now an ex but it is something that hasnt yet settled in my mind.

Thanks for any responses to this.

Missy_blue_eyez
(((((((missy_blue_eyez)))))))

I'm so sorry you're going through this hun. What a jam to fall hard for a guy who constantly makes you feel inadequate. And he's in the CLOSET???? He's got some nerve. If he hasn't the balls to come out now what happens when you're 400 pounds? You did the right thing and got out in the nick of time. This guy didn't care enough about you to deserve any part of you let alone any extra. I know this doesn't make it feel any better but you've got so much going for you, so much to look forward to and you're a hot looker to boot! You've cleared the floor for something better.
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Old 08-14-2008, 10:15 AM   #78
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Missy, thanks for sharing this story. You did the right thing to dig in your heels. You should never change your body to delight a partner if you don't want to and especially if they aren't being a real partner. I've met you and you've got a slamming body as is, there are many who would find you ultimately attractive. And if you find yourself comfortable where you're at--more power to you!

For this guy: he needs to get his goddamn ass OUT OF THE MOTHERFUCKING CLOSET before he dates another woman. OUT OF THE CLOSET. That's the demand.

And, once he's out of the closet and being a grown up, there's many beautiful already supersize gals out there, plus a handful of girls who WANT to gain.

I feel like the Mayor.
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Old 08-14-2008, 10:52 AM   #79
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Missy, your're fine just how you are. It's not at all unreasonable of you to not want to be controlled.
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Old 08-14-2008, 03:14 PM   #80
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Thanks for the responses everyone. Reading my post back, I know alot of members may have read it and thought 'oh shes just out attention seeking blah blah blah.' But seriously Im not. It is something that has really troubled me over the last few months. As confident as I seem at times Im a sensitive soul and this problem was something I couldnt really talk about to my friends at home, they wouldnt understand it all. So I have been bottling it up.

I think one of the main things that made this worse for me was that, he was the first ever FA whom I ever met/dated was intimate with, just at a time when I was really begining to feel liberated about the person I was from stumbling across this community, all the stuff with him hit me.

I do in a strange way feel proud of myself for standing my ground and not letting him control me, or emotionally blackmail me, it is a stength of character I never realised I had. I think if he had met me a few years before hand, I think I would have quite easily caved in to his desires just to feel like I was wanted.

Its not him that Im trying to get over now to be honest, its the situation and the experience in which I went through. I have spoken to many FA's since joining this community and they make me feel so special, but I think I have that underlying doubt in the back of my mind that the same situation will arise. I know, I know, I have to just throw myself in and find out, and in time Im sure I will do.

My other concern is, other women, nieve, insecure bbw's, ssbbw's whom may become involved with him or a situation similar with someone else. Im not in anyway saying that every feeder goes out praying on poor fat girls, although I think I have kind of made it sound that way (honestly thats not the image im wanting to project). But I know, how easy it could be to fall for someone and end up going along with a partner's wants just so that they feel wanted by someone.

Said guy, is a lurker on these boards, so no doubt he will have seen this. But whenever I tried to get my point across to him about how I felt about it all and my body he would always just seem to dismiss it, like it was something I was being stupid about. Getting worked up for no reason.

Anyway, thats my story, any other responses, comments etc I would love to read. Also anyone who has been in the same situation or whom have gained for a partner/relationship? Just really interested.
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Old 08-14-2008, 06:03 PM   #81
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Missy, I sorry you had to go thru that. You shouldn't feel bad tho. Hell I would be pissed. He was being utterly selfish and not taking your feelings into consideration and it's so much worse because he's closeted. If he truly cared about you, respected you he would have left you alone about it and been proud to show the world you were his woman. It's wonderful that you like where you are in terms of your size. It's a long road for so many of us to get there. I'm there now and I wouldn't let anybody do anything to take that away from me. If you were to gain it would have to be your choice and nobody else's. I hate to say it, but consider that had you gained for him and been unhappy, he probably wouldn't have cared whether you were happy or not. I think you were right to get rid of him for your own self preservation. Never look back and try to get the jerk out of you mind and your life. There WILL be other better men out there for you.

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Old 08-14-2008, 06:32 PM   #82
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That must be ridiculously frustrating! Can't really add too much to the previous comments, except to say that feederism is a potentially dangerous kink. Like most of them, I guess. Just believe me when I say that if it is shared in an affectionate respectful way it can be really nice so I'm sad when it gets brought down by people who are willing to get consumed by it. (No pun intended)

Plus, whatever! I've met you. You are totally gorgeous. 'Nuff said!
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Old 08-14-2008, 11:23 PM   #83
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Whatever happened to accepting people the way they are? Some asshole comes along and says "I need you to be bigger". Dude, Fuck off. That's like telling her to go on a frickin' diet and lose weight.

You know, I give feeders a lot of shit and some say that it's unwarranted. If it's something between two consenting adults, fine. But if it's just some douche bag pushing what he wants on his girlfriend/wife.... THOSE are the guys I have a problem with. They're like Bizzaro Richard Simmons. "Gain Weight For Me! Do it because you love me!"

Rob a bank for me. Do it because you love me.

Again, I'm not digging on the lifestyle. Go, live it, have fun. But don't think you can emotionally twist somone into something they are uncomfortable with/being. Oh hell no. I'm sorry, that's behavior I cannot except, and I won't. There are some pretty bad people out there, and this is just another form of control for them. Before anyone considers doing this, they ought to really think about the reprecussions it could have in THEIR future.

It's not a fat suit. It doesn't have a zipper. It doesn't dissappear over night. If you are going to gain, you better be ready for it because this shit can really fuck with your body and your mind if you are NOT ready for it. If some guy is talking you into it, he better be some kind of magnificent person, because this is a mighty big request. If you do it, I hope you're ready for it, otherwise you're completely screwed.
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Old 08-15-2008, 04:30 AM   #84
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The guy's a selfish prick. It has nothing to do with him being a feeder, FA, man, republican, etc. Being a selfish prick is sort of equal opportunity. You can be straight edge plain vanilla man or woman and still be a selfish prick. Kick over a trash can anywhere and five selfish pricks will come crawling out so no matter who you are one has to be mindful. All the other chicks of the world have to watch out too. It's easy to be dazzled by the whole FA revelation and forget that they are all just men/women like everyone else and the rules used to screen out assholes still apply. I'm sorry you got a whopper your first time out Missy, but you passed the test! Yay!

I don't mean to go on and on but I am seriously flabbergasted. I just can't get over it. He doesn't have it in him to stand up and represent himself with dignity yet he wants you to do all this stuff while he watches from behind the closet door. lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by missy_blue_eyez View Post
Thanks for the responses everyone. Reading my post back, I know alot of members may have read it and thought 'oh shes just out attention seeking blah blah blah.' But seriously Im not. It is something that has really troubled me over the last few months. As confident as I seem at times Im a sensitive soul and this problem was something I couldnt really talk about to my friends at home, they wouldnt understand it all. So I have been bottling it up.

I think one of the main things that made this worse for me was that, he was the first ever FA whom I ever met/dated was intimate with, just at a time when I was really begining to feel liberated about the person I was from stumbling across this community, all the stuff with him hit me.

I do in a strange way feel proud of myself for standing my ground and not letting him control me, or emotionally blackmail me, it is a stength of character I never realised I had. I think if he had met me a few years before hand, I think I would have quite easily caved in to his desires just to feel like I was wanted.

Its not him that Im trying to get over now to be honest, its the situation and the experience in which I went through. I have spoken to many FA's since joining this community and they make me feel so special, but I think I have that underlying doubt in the back of my mind that the same situation will arise. I know, I know, I have to just throw myself in and find out, and in time Im sure I will do.

My other concern is, other women, nieve, insecure bbw's, ssbbw's whom may become involved with him or a situation similar with someone else. Im not in anyway saying that every feeder goes out praying on poor fat girls, although I think I have kind of made it sound that way (honestly thats not the image im wanting to project). But I know, how easy it could be to fall for someone and end up going along with a partner's wants just so that they feel wanted by someone.

Said guy, is a lurker on these boards, so no doubt he will have seen this. But whenever I tried to get my point across to him about how I felt about it all and my body he would always just seem to dismiss it, like it was something I was being stupid about. Getting worked up for no reason.

Anyway, thats my story, any other responses, comments etc I would love to read. Also anyone who has been in the same situation or whom have gained for a partner/relationship? Just really interested.
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Old 08-15-2008, 06:18 PM   #85
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Quote:
Originally Posted by T_Devil View Post
Whatever happened to accepting people the way they are? Some asshole comes along and says "I need you to be bigger". Dude, Fuck off. That's like telling her to go on a frickin' diet and lose weight.

You know, I give feeders a lot of shit and some say that it's unwarranted. If it's something between two consenting adults, fine. But if it's just some douche bag pushing what he wants on his girlfriend/wife.... THOSE are the guys I have a problem with. They're like Bizzaro Richard Simmons. "Gain Weight For Me! Do it because you love me!"

Rob a bank for me. Do it because you love me.

Again, I'm not digging on the lifestyle. Go, live it, have fun. But don't think you can emotionally twist somone into something they are uncomfortable with/being. Oh hell no. I'm sorry, that's behavior I cannot except, and I won't. There are some pretty bad people out there, and this is just another form of control for them. Before anyone considers doing this, they ought to really think about the reprecussions it could have in THEIR future.

It's not a fat suit. It doesn't have a zipper. It doesn't dissappear over night. If you are going to gain, you better be ready for it because this shit can really fuck with your body and your mind if you are NOT ready for it. If some guy is talking you into it, he better be some kind of magnificent person, because this is a mighty big request. If you do it, I hope you're ready for it, otherwise you're completely screwed.

Exactly how I see it..........GMTA
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Old 08-15-2008, 07:14 PM   #86
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Missy (not sure if you're comfortable with your real name being used or not, so I'm erring on the side of caution),

I only got to meet you briefly at Memorial Day, but thought you were totally sweet and absolutely adorable and fun.

And now? I think you're a very strong woman as well.

The bottom line is not that that guy is in the closet, etc. The bottom line is that that was ABUSIVE behavior, and I am *really* proud of you for standing up for yourself and your body.

You're inspirational, and I hope you know that.


(Before I get piled on, NO, I am not saying asking someone to gain is abusive - I'm saying continuously telling someone they are inadequate/not good enough/not attractive enough is abusive. Been there, done that, kicked him to the curb faster than he could say "Well, if you could just lose a little weight..." )
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Old 08-16-2008, 10:10 PM   #87
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Originally Posted by marlowegarp View Post
That must be ridiculously frustrating! Can't really add too much to the previous comments, except to say that feederism is a potentially dangerous kink. Like most of them, I guess.
Really? o.0

It takes a very long time to gain weight, and it's extremely difficult to do it to somebody against their will. Compared with stuff like bondage, sado-masochism, burning, electricity, and auto-erotic asphyxiation, I'd say it's one of the least-dangerous kinks there is.
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Old 08-17-2008, 06:26 AM   #88
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Originally Posted by Fuzzy Necromancer View Post
Really? o.0

It takes a very long time to gain weight, and it's extremely difficult to do it to somebody against their will. Compared with stuff like bondage, sado-masochism, burning, electricity, and auto-erotic asphyxiation, I'd say it's one of the least-dangerous kinks there is.
Speak for yourself. Feederism IS a potentially dangerous kink. Just because there's none posed to you and the feedee may have chosen to indulge doesn't make it otherwise.
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Old 08-17-2008, 06:33 AM   #89
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Hmmmmmm well I dont potentially think feederism as a fetish is dangerous. No fetish in itself is dangerous, I think it is more to do with the person/people who indulge in them. People and their actions are dangerous, not necessarily the situation. But anyway, this was a positive thread. Lets not turn it into another argument into whether or not feeders are scum of the earth. Its been done to death on these boards.
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Old 08-17-2008, 07:22 AM   #90
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Hmmmmmm well I dont potentially think feederism as a fetish is dangerous. No fetish in itself is dangerous, I think it is more to do with the person/people who indulge in them. People and their actions are dangerous, not necessarily the situation. But anyway, this was a positive thread. Lets not turn it into another argument into whether or not feeders are scum of the earth. Its been done to death on these boards.
Sorry Missy! This wasn't necessarily a "Feeders are scum" post as opposed to "us feedees must be careful" post. As a feedee I have to think about these risks and I've been looking at them up close for years. It's frustrating to work so hard and have someone flip it off.
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Old 08-17-2008, 07:57 AM   #91
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Alright, so, as some one who has indulged in feederism with like, every single girl I've ever been involved with .. I can tell you that of course there is a loving way to go about it.

I am going to go out on a limb here though.

I've interacted with many a feeder throughout the years and I can tell you straight up that they are mostly socially awkward idiots who well, I don't think have ever experienced being with a real live fat girl let alone one that allowed them to feed them.

I'm not saying I'm like, any better, I've probably just gotten lucky, but I'm just saying that I think the majority of them have NO IDEA how to treat a woman or even approach one in the first place.

Many men into feederism and actually FAs period have this mentality that fat women should be grateful to have them in the first place. Like, you can tell a girl that she is going to look better gaining weight and that you figure THIS GIRL WILL DO IT JUST BECAUSE I AM INTERESTED, SO SHE WILL BE THANKFUL (I typed that in all caps because idiots tend to raise their voices for no reason).

When they realize that this is not the case, they become belligerent. They get pissed off when they realize they aren't this savior of teh fat women and get all pissy and begin to treat the woman like shit because it is HER fault that they suck.
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Old 08-17-2008, 11:55 AM   #92
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Missy you did a wonderful thing by standing your ground.

Well, I've never been involved with a feeder. Why? Because every time I've been approached by one it's always been "Don't you think you'd look good with more weight on?" .... "Well, I'm happy with who I am, can't you accept that?" ... "What about just 20 more lbs?" ... "Why? I think I'm fine the way I am." Yeah, so they quickly tend to butt off. While I want someone to love my inside, I want someone to love my outside. I think that yes, I'd feel they were using me as a project if what I heard all the time was "you'd look so hot with 10 more pounds!"

On a side note... I don't have a problem with feeders etc. I just don't want to be fed (okay- we'll say constantly.. I do believe that role play being fed now and then could be hot...but I'd rather be comfortable with the person and not just a drive by feeding session if that makes any sense.)


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Old 08-17-2008, 12:01 PM   #93
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Missy you did a wonderful thing by standing your ground.

Well, I've never been involved with a feeder. Why? Because every time I've been approached by one it's always been "Don't you think you'd look good with more weight on?" .... "Well, I'm happy with who I am, can't you accept that?" ... "What about just 20 more lbs?" ... "Why? I think I'm fine the way I am." Yeah, so they quickly tend to butt off. While I want someone to love my inside, I want someone to love my outside. I think that yes, I'd feel they were using me as a project if what I heard all the time was "you'd look so hot with 10 more pounds!"

On a side note... I don't have a problem with feeders etc. I just don't want to be fed (okay- we'll say constantly.. I do believe that role play being fed now and then could be hot...but I'd rather be comfortable with the person and not just a drive by feeding session if that makes any sense.)


T_Devil... I have to spread some rep around... otherwise you'd be so repped.
Not all of us are like that.

As for me, if you and I, or Missy and I were dating and you/her said "I'm happy the way I am" Then I wouldn't even bring up the subjected of feederism, gaining etc because I'd respect your wishes and hell..you look so good now anyway I'm not gonna complain.

However if you said you'd be interested in putting on a few, chances are u'd wake up tomorrow to a huge breakfast lol.

I just go with the flow, if a girl wants to gain, I encourage. If she doesn't want to I don't bring it up, but that's just me.
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Old 08-17-2008, 12:40 PM   #94
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Also for most feeders the excitement is about the process of the person gaining, it's not about wanting to change them. That is why it's called "feeding" rather than "just wanting a bigger partner."

The key thing here is that the would-be feeder can easily find a larger partner. It is not about liking you but wanting a bigger you, it's about wanting you to indulge in the process of gaining/being fed. It's hotter to have somebody gain five pounds than for them to just *be* five pounds heavier.

Notice how many of the paysites include comparison shots, the whole draw there is "I used to fit into this sweater and now I don't" or "I used to be able to do *something* and now I can't." Again, it's the process of the person having actively gained weight that is a turnon rather than "oh she's bigger now and therefore more attractive than 100 pounds earlier."
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Old 08-17-2008, 12:45 PM   #95
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Also for most feeders the excitement is about the process of the person gaining, it's not about wanting to change them. That is why it's called "feeding" rather than "just wanting a bigger partner."

The key thing here is that the would-be feeder can easily find a larger partner. It is not about liking you but wanting a bigger you, it's about wanting you to indulge in the process of gaining/being fed. It's hotter to have somebody gain five pounds than for them to just *be* five pounds heavier.

Notice how many of the paysites include comparison shots, the whole draw there is "I used to fit into this sweater and now I don't" or "I used to be able to do *something* and now I can't." Again, it's the process of the person having actively gained weight that is a turnon rather than "oh she's bigger now and therefore more attractive than 100 pounds earlier."
Oh yeh, I totally get that LoveBHM's, I understand alot of the sexual arousal behind it all. But for me it was the fact that I had said no, but he persisted in pushing the situation to a point where I was really begining to doubt myself, and my confidence. That was all....it is obvious that we arent right for each other. He needs someone who is willing to take part in that act with him and as someone said earlier I want someone who loves the outside and the inside exactly how it is.
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Old 08-17-2008, 12:46 PM   #96
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I want someone who loves the outside and the inside exactly how it is.
Both are incredibly beautiful ;-)
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Old 08-17-2008, 09:44 PM   #97
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And I really didn't mean to imply that ALL feeders were like that. Just that the ones I've had contact with have implied that they want to feed me so I plump up, like I'm not good enough how I am.

I don't find feederism gross or anything like that, it's a whatever floats your boat thing for me. Being fed on a regular basis in an erotic or ... just to know that it's for me to gain type of way... is not for me. It doesn't make it wrong or bad (*in general*) it just is something that others enjoy that I don't. It's not like "heyyy lets go murder people because we like each other and want to strengthen our love"... that is wrong and slightly disturbing.

I could however become a feeder if someone so desired. But like you said, they'd have to say "hey I think I want gain some weight" before I would ever think about it. Yes, I'd be sure to tell the person I like/love them the way they are, but if THEY want to do it, then I'd at least give it a shot. You never know, it could be a ton of fun!

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Not all of us are like that.

As for me, if you and I, or Missy and I were dating and you/her said "I'm happy the way I am" Then I wouldn't even bring up the subjected of feederism, gaining etc because I'd respect your wishes and hell..you look so good now anyway I'm not gonna complain.

However if you said you'd be interested in putting on a few, chances are u'd wake up tomorrow to a huge breakfast lol.

I just go with the flow, if a girl wants to gain, I encourage. If she doesn't want to I don't bring it up, but that's just me.
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Old 08-20-2008, 10:33 AM   #98
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Thanks for the responses everyone. Reading my post back, I know alot of members may have read it and thought 'oh shes just out attention seeking blah blah blah.' But seriously Im not. It is something that has really troubled me over the last few months. As confident as I seem at times Im a sensitive soul and this problem was something I couldnt really talk about to my friends at home, they wouldnt understand it all. So I have been bottling it up.

I think one of the main things that made this worse for me was that, he was the first ever FA whom I ever met/dated was intimate with, just at a time when I was really begining to feel liberated about the person I was from stumbling across this community, all the stuff with him hit me.

I do in a strange way feel proud of myself for standing my ground and not letting him control me, or emotionally blackmail me, it is a stength of character I never realised I had. I think if he had met me a few years before hand, I think I would have quite easily caved in to his desires just to feel like I was wanted.

Its not him that Im trying to get over now to be honest, its the situation and the experience in which I went through. I have spoken to many FA's since joining this community and they make me feel so special, but I think I have that underlying doubt in the back of my mind that the same situation will arise. I know, I know, I have to just throw myself in and find out, and in time Im sure I will do.

My other concern is, other women, nieve, insecure bbw's, ssbbw's whom may become involved with him or a situation similar with someone else. Im not in anyway saying that every feeder goes out praying on poor fat girls, although I think I have kind of made it sound that way (honestly thats not the image im wanting to project). But I know, how easy it could be to fall for someone and end up going along with a partner's wants just so that they feel wanted by someone.

Said guy, is a lurker on these boards, so no doubt he will have seen this. But whenever I tried to get my point across to him about how I felt about it all and my body he would always just seem to dismiss it, like it was something I was being stupid about. Getting worked up for no reason.

Anyway, thats my story, any other responses, comments etc I would love to read. Also anyone who has been in the same situation or whom have gained for a partner/relationship? Just really interested.
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