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Old 04-30-2008, 11:48 AM   #301
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I really need to say This Bruce, You fuckin rock. I agree with you 10000000% It almost feels like your pulling quotes and ideas directly out of my head. I hope I can be as happy as you and Mellisa are together. I have some BIG Hopes and dreams on the horizon
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Old 04-30-2008, 11:54 AM   #302
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I had a friend who really likes SSBBWs. Since he got his first vehicles, he's always gone out of his way to pick ones that allow ample room. He also always gets seatbelt extenders. When he moved into his new apartment last year, he called/emailed me a couple of times to ask me about various pieces of furniture he was thinking of getting. I'd give him my SSBBW perspective and then, of course, he'd make his own choices. What he's ended up with is a neato retro set of furnishings that fit him well and also stand up to SSBBWs. No muss, no fuss.
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Old 04-30-2008, 11:56 AM   #303
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OK, I'm married to a SSBBW so the things I would point out are nothing to do with cars or feeding.

Number one. Do you intend to have kids?

Leaving aside the obvious pregnancy and birth risks looking after kids takes a lot of energy. An SSBBW isn't going to be able to move around as much as a kid or several kids require. You have to bank on being a pretty much hands on Dad.

Your kids are going to get teased about their mum. Shouldn't happen, but it does. How are you going to deal/cope with it?

Number two. Shared interests.
What happens if you are heavily into sport or active pursuits or some kind. You both have to accept that this is probably not part of your life you can share.

Number three. Treats
It is nice to be able to treat your wife occassionally, or as often as finances allow. Nice clothes, jewellry etc. It might be different in the USA but in the UK you can't walk into a shop and buy anything much worth having above a UK Size 22 i.e. BBWs aren't catered for let alone SSBBWs.

It's pretty much flowers and chocolates and thats it.

Number four. Public places.
Someone has already mentioned cinema seats and restaurants. Ditto Ballet/theatre/opera. As for food courts in malls, its awkward enough being sub 200lbs and 6ft 4, let alone the size of a 400lb 5ft 6 woman.

Number five. Baths/Showers
Actually its showers or nothing. You'll pretty much have to put supports under the shower tray/bath.

Number six. Furniture
You've got to sit somewhere. Put a 400lb woman on a cheap couch and you are going to have a worn out couch pretty damn fast. Ditto beds.

It sounds romantic to roll together and it is in the early years where you are having fun prooving that it is not possible to screw each other to death but a good nights sleep becomes more important the older you get. You need a good bed and a big one at that.

Number seven. Sex.
Once an SSBBW is beyond a certain size this becomes a bit of a logistics nightmare (worth persisting with though). No matter how avante Garde you may be there are certain positions into which an SSBBW doesn't bend.

Depending on your SSBBWs weight distribution there may be a loss of intimate contact i.e if lying on her back she sticks up 3 ft in the air.

Number eight. Accidents, ill health.
Ever thought about having to pick up and carry an injured SSBBW? Mine broke her leg and that wasn't fun. She gained about 60lb while she was in plaster though.

There are a lot of non-fantasy things to think about if you are seriously thinking of a long term relationship with an SSBBW.
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Old 04-30-2008, 12:07 PM   #304
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Well, I haven't been following this thread too closely so some of this may be redundant? I do want all SSBBW and the men who adore them to feel as understood and at ease as possible. For my own part I can only say it has always been worth it to be with these lovely ladies and no problem or issue is insurmountable with good communication.

First, anything worth having requires some investment. With SSBBW relationships extra time to do many things is a given. Patience is a gift that will be deeply appreciated. Whatever she's doing, wherever you're going do NOT rush her. If she needs time to rest or catch her breath take that time and then some. Always keep an eye out for places to sit, if needed. Use this time to chat or enjoy the scenery; don't let it feel like an interruption. Learn to walk at her pace.

Secondly, be careful of assumptions. What she could do yesterday and this morning may be different from what she can do today or this afternoon. Just like everyone else SSBBW have good days and bad days. Your expectations can be just as uncomfortable as a too tight seat. "Do you feel like...?" and "Does it work for you to...?" Are good questions to keep handy. Likewise be careful of assumptions about what will feel good or be helpful. A foot rub or leg rub that felt great in the morning can be very painful if feet and legs become swollen and tender. Getting those big, pretty legs up as often as possible helps minimize swelling.

Her body is operating with a major workload. Stress on joints and muscles is significantly multiplied. Injuries and pain can come on very quickly. Be ready and willing to provide whatever consideration is needed. Ice/heat packs, analgesics both topical and oral, massage and of course extra rest should be readily available. Most of all be sure she knows you want to know if/when she's hurting or uncomfortable. "Toughing it out" only makes things worse in the long run.

A minor point but important if it hasn't been mentioned yet, all new car dealerships stock seat belt extensions in their parts department. They are available for free just for the asking. If they don't have the model in stock that you need ask them to order it.

There's probably a lot more I could think of from 35 plus years of loving and living with SSBBW but those are some points I hadn't noticed in a quick review of this thread. I think most of the above is applicable to smaller BBW as well?
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Old 04-30-2008, 12:29 PM   #305
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Lilly first to you I want to say Congrats I hope nothing but happiness and longevity for you and your new guy.
Second I can agree with Mellissa as to the things I used to do when a tad bit smaller seems impossible today.Also just because someone is the same weight as another their needs might be very diffrent because of body shape or medical problems.
I am glad that I have found my perfect match for me at the size I am right now. John is good for making sure the things I cannot do gets done but also helping me with the things I can do so as I dont over exert myself.
One example is after driving 6 hours home after my moms funeral(whom passed 3 days after we met but he still stayed by my side meeting more of my family on our first meeting than I have even seen in years) he took time to unload a car full of things I had left back in Tn when I moved to Ga as well as things that was my moms. He did this in the pouring rain and not once complained yet insisted that I say in the house and grab them as he brought them to the door.
I think it is the small things like that that means the most and what this thread is about, in other words as an FA you see our needs can you cope with them before getting my heart all tied up into you.
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Old 04-30-2008, 12:52 PM   #306
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I think i could understand that..i was much smaller when i first entered the community. I also don't know what size you are, because i've learned not to judge from pics lol, but i was much smaller back then. I wouldn't have ever even thought that i'd exerpience half the difficulties that i experience now, and very well may have also been creeped out if someone had prepared for them when *I* wasn't even prepared for them.

I think what we're trying to get at is...for men who are certain that they eventually want a LTR with a much larger woman. These are good tips concerning issues they may come across while dating one.

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*I* would be slightly weirded out. Why? Because I don't know any FA's in real life, except the ones that I have met through here. It woudl not occour to me that someone WOULD think of those things. and THAT is why it would weird me out.
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Old 04-30-2008, 12:58 PM   #307
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yeah i gotta say my perspective is totally different than it was two years ago, especially concerning the things i can and can not do.

I think there are definitely needs that are different for each individual person, but i would think that there are some ssbbw truths that remain constant..that NO large ssbbw can handle? Yes that's in the form of a question lol.

Would it be safe to say that if dating a larger ssbbw some of these issues will be true in ALL cases? that long walks will be harder, more difficulty fitting in places (or not fitting), discrimination and the like...

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Second I can agree with Mellissa as to the things I used to do when a tad bit smaller seems impossible today.Also just because someone is the same weight as another their needs might be very diffrent because of body shape or medical problems.
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:00 PM   #308
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Originally Posted by chocolate desire View Post
Lilly first to you I want to say Congrats I hope nothing but happiness and longevity for you and your new guy.
Second I can agree with Mellissa as to the things I used to do when a tad bit smaller seems impossible today.Also just because someone is the same weight as another their needs might be very diffrent because of body shape or medical problems.
I am glad that I have found my perfect match for me at the size I am right now. John is good for making sure the things I cannot do gets done but also helping me with the things I can do so as I dont over exert myself.
One example is after driving 6 hours home after my moms funeral(whom passed 3 days after we met but he still stayed by my side meeting more of my family on our first meeting than I have even seen in years) he took time to unload a car full of things I had left back in Tn when I moved to Ga as well as things that was my moms. He did this in the pouring rain and not once complained yet insisted that I say in the house and grab them as he brought them to the door.
I think it is the small things like that that means the most and what this thread is about, in other words as an FA you see our needs can you cope with them before getting my heart all tied up into you.
You are very blessed to have found such a nice man Renee. He sounds like a real gentleman. I hope that I can find such a nice man like that also.
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:05 PM   #309
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One of my most favourtie things that Mike does....is he fakes it with me. Only a very large ssbbw would understand. You know, whilst walking around the mall and you just get so tired that if you take another step you just might die. Well he has learned to take notice when that time is approaching and he will pull me towards a window display so that we can pretend to look at it whilst I catch my breath and let my body stop aching a little bit. After a couple of minutes of browsing whatever it is we are pretending to look at he will ask me if I'm ready to move on and generally he will lean in and kiss me before we get going again. I love my super FA Oh yeah...and he holds my hand the whole time we are in public. If I could clone him, I'd sell his clones on ebay
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:07 PM   #310
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OMG that is so sweet - he is clearly a great guy.


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Originally Posted by BigBellySSBBW View Post
One of my most favourtie things that Mike does....is he fakes it with me. Only a very large ssbbw would understand. You know, whilst walking around the mall and you just get so tired that if you take another step you just might die. Well he has learned to take notice when that time is approaching and he will pull me towards a window display so that we can pretend to look at it whilst I catch my breath and let my body stop aching a little bit. After a couple of minutes of browsing whatever it is we are pretending to look at he will ask me if I'm ready to move on and generally he will lean in and kiss me before we get going again. I love my super FA Oh yeah...and he holds my hand the whole time we are in public. If I could clone him, I'd sell his clones on ebay
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:12 PM   #311
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aaawwwww that IS sweet

You are brave i don't even attempt to walk through the mall. Though my knee is so bad that i've become a total chicken lol. The long hall way from a hotel room to the front entrance is enough to do me in. He'll stop with me of course as well

Oh there's another one....when booking a hotel room, do whatever ya can to get the room close to the entrance or elevator lol


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One of my most favourtie things that Mike does....is he fakes it with me.......he will pull me towards a window display so that we can pretend to look at it whilst I catch my breath and let my body stop aching a little bit.
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:15 PM   #312
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I thought I'd echo some of Donni's comment regarding our car.

After the possibility of her moving of here arose, we discussed cars. We limited the choice to cars available in both the UK and the USA, of which Honda were an obvious choice.

We talked about which cars Donni had ridden in and found comfortable. I ended up getting a 1994 Honda Accord coupe. We then changed this for a 1999 Honda Accord coupe which was an auto so Donni could drive it also.

Unfortunately, a lowered, bodykitted, 2 door sports car is not practical with a very tall 5 year old to squeeze in the back, so we sold it.

We then got a 1999 Honda Legend / Acura RL. Very nice, very spacious car, but terrible for MPG (250 miles from a large tank!).

We're now looking for a newer car. The process has been thus:

1. Look at interior shots of cars online, check measurements. This rules out some cars.
2. Go to car dealers, subtly look through windows without making a big fuss about it. This again rules out a few more cars.
3. Actually sit in cars, test drive them etc.

This process minimizes the number of times Donni gets dragged round car showrooms! We've now settled on a Peugeot 407 sportswagon, and wil hopefully get one in the next few months.

Here are the cars we've had:



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Old 04-30-2008, 01:18 PM   #313
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BigBellySSBBW View Post
One of my most favourtie things that Mike does....is he fakes it with me. Only a very large ssbbw would understand. You know, whilst walking around the mall and you just get so tired that if you take another step you just might die. Well he has learned to take notice when that time is approaching and he will pull me towards a window display so that we can pretend to look at it whilst I catch my breath and let my body stop aching a little bit. After a couple of minutes of browsing whatever it is we are pretending to look at he will ask me if I'm ready to move on and generally he will lean in and kiss me before we get going again. I love my super FA Oh yeah...and he holds my hand the whole time we are in public. If I could clone him, I'd sell his clones on ebay
You know what I *must* have? You know those bench seats they have in the shoe stores with the slanted mirror on the sides so you can try shoes on and see what they look like? I have a fond feelings toward those. When i get tired like you described I must sit down. As you were telling your story I could feel my feet throbbing. lol I duck into Payless and pretend to shop for shoes to kill time and catch my second wind. This is the reason my apartment is full of shoes. I was thinking of inquiring to see what they do with those benches when they decide to get rid of them and buy new ones. I could use one at my place.

Sorry for the hijack.
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:22 PM   #314
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Ladies - you lovely SSBBW's with walking difficulties. I have one word for you:

SCOOTER!!

I went 5 years not doing the things I want because I didn't want to deal with being stared at. I was so wrong!!

If you have physical limitations that you can get documented - Large n Lovely you said you have knee issues? Your insurance should pay completely for a scooter. Mine did. Talk to your doctor and inlist them to help you get a scooter.

I'm telling you - it changed my life. And the only thing people say to me is - "Hey, where'd you get that scooter - it's great!" Or they want to buy it from me. LOL

Pride brand has heavy duty scooters!
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:23 PM   #315
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The Mall?? again I say everyone is diffrent because I wont walk thru Walmart let alone think about going to a mall. Kudos to you and Mike Donni.


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Originally Posted by BigBellySSBBW View Post
One of my most favourtie things that Mike does....is he fakes it with me. Only a very large ssbbw would understand. You know, whilst walking around the mall and you just get so tired that if you take another step you just might die. Well he has learned to take notice when that time is approaching and he will pull me towards a window display so that we can pretend to look at it whilst I catch my breath and let my body stop aching a little bit. After a couple of minutes of browsing whatever it is we are pretending to look at he will ask me if I'm ready to move on and generally he will lean in and kiss me before we get going again. I love my super FA Oh yeah...and he holds my hand the whole time we are in public. If I could clone him, I'd sell his clones on ebay
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:27 PM   #316
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lol another side note...when i was packing to move, i realized that i had 2 full big boxes of shoes. I don't wear these shoes..i don't NEED these shoes. I have no earthly idea why i bought most of these shoes and yet i have them. lol

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This is the reason my apartment is full of shoes.
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:29 PM   #317
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The Mall?? again I say everyone is diffrent because I wont walk thru Walmart let alone think about going to a mall. Kudos to you and Mike Donni.
I never said I make it through the whole mall, lol. We are talking bout maybe one wing of the mall, and after that I am spent for the whole day. I might be younger than you and might account for it. However, I have been this size since I was 20 and I could do a lot more then.
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:30 PM   #318
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i love love love scooters!!! Me and Bruce have discussed buying one (or renting if we gotta) so we can go do certain things.

My problem..sadly i don't have insurance I had it long enough to find out that i ripped my ACL and that the doctor refused to do surgery on me cuz of my size. Though, this is definitely something to think of when i do have insurance next!! Also, we've talked with Heather about this and she said that you can get them on ebay relatively cheap. So we've been looking into that. .. but yessireee bob..i'm all about the scooters hehe


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Large n Lovely you said you have knee issues? Your insurance should pay completely for a scooter. Mine did. Talk to your doctor and inlist them to help you get a scooter.
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:31 PM   #319
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Originally Posted by Sandie_Zitkus View Post
Ladies - you lovely SSBBW's with walking difficulties. I have one word for you:

SCOOTER!!

I went 5 years not doing the things I want because I didn't want to deal with being stared at. I was so wrong!!

If you have physical limitations that you can get documented - Large n Lovely you said you have knee issues? Your insurance should pay completely for a scooter. Mine did. Talk to your doctor and inlist them to help you get a scooter.

I'm telling you - it changed my life. And the only thing people say to me is - "Hey, where'd you get that scooter - it's great!" Or they want to buy it from me. LOL

Pride brand has heavy duty scooters!
Scooters aren't as popular here in the UK. I can't even find a scale with a high enough limit to weigh me....I had to have one imported to the UK. Importing a scooter is beyond my means....though I dream of having it easy like that. Being in the UK has pushed me beyond my mobility limits and I'm a bit fitter because of it....though I hate it...not the being fit part, lol...the being pushed beyond my limits.
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:37 PM   #320
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I'm happy to hear that! You will love it and if you get a 4 wheel (which I have) instead of a 3 wheel doing things outdoors is a snap! I can't tell you the mud, tall grass and dirt bumpy roads I have gotten through out here in TX at ren fairs especially Paul Delacroix's faire!

I highly recommend them and ebay is a good place to look.


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i love love love scooters!!! Me and Bruce have discussed buying one (or renting if we gotta) so we can go do certain things.

My problem..sadly i don't have insurance I had it long enough to find out that i ripped my ACL and that the doctor refused to do surgery on me cuz of my size. Though, this is definitely something to think of when i do have insurance next!! Also, we've talked with Heather about this and she said that you can get them on ebay relatively cheap. So we've been looking into that. .. but yessireee bob..i'm all about the scooters hehe
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:44 PM   #321
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One of my most favourtie things that Mike does....is he fakes it with me. Only a very large ssbbw would understand. You know, whilst walking around the mall and you just get so tired that if you take another step you just might die. Well he has learned to take notice when that time is approaching and he will pull me towards a window display so that we can pretend to look at it whilst I catch my breath and let my body stop aching a little bit. After a couple of minutes of browsing whatever it is we are pretending to look at he will ask me if I'm ready to move on and generally he will lean in and kiss me before we get going again. I love my super FA Oh yeah...and he holds my hand the whole time we are in public. If I could clone him, I'd sell his clones on ebay
Not thinking that anybody or any relationship is perfect..those are things of myth...heh..but, I liked reading this....just seems like Mike is a guy who tunes in and deals in a classy and calm manner....that is, indeed, a rare..ish..thing...and so refreshing to read..thanks!..and..yes....clone..clone...clone away!
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Old 04-30-2008, 01:55 PM   #322
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wow how did i miss this post...good stuff.

Bruce and I decided individually that children were not an option. So it worked out well when we became a couple. But yes those were things i had thought about...No energy, the effects on my body and such

I haven't overly thought of the ill health factor. I mean, good lord he would be in trouble trying to pick me up!!! So that's a new one for ME to even think about. I guess since it's not really happened .....just hadn't crossed my mind. During all my previous injuries i've managed to stay upright lol..thankfully.

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Originally Posted by EpsilonCool View Post
OK, I'm married to a SSBBW so the things I would point out are nothing to do with cars or feeding.

Number one. Do you intend to have kids?

Leaving aside the obvious pregnancy and birth risks looking after kids takes a lot of energy. An SSBBW isn't going to be able to move around as much as a kid or several kids require. You have to bank on being a pretty much hands on Dad.

Your kids are going to get teased about their mum. Shouldn't happen, but it does. How are you going to deal/cope with it?

Number two. Shared interests.
What happens if you are heavily into sport or active pursuits or some kind. You both have to accept that this is probably not part of your life you can share.

Number three. Treats
It is nice to be able to treat your wife occassionally, or as often as finances allow. Nice clothes, jewellry etc. It might be different in the USA but in the UK you can't walk into a shop and buy anything much worth having above a UK Size 22 i.e. BBWs aren't catered for let alone SSBBWs.

It's pretty much flowers and chocolates and thats it.

Number four. Public places.
Someone has already mentioned cinema seats and restaurants. Ditto Ballet/theatre/opera. As for food courts in malls, its awkward enough being sub 200lbs and 6ft 4, let alone the size of a 400lb 5ft 6 woman.

Number five. Baths/Showers
Actually its showers or nothing. You'll pretty much have to put supports under the shower tray/bath.

Number six. Furniture
You've got to sit somewhere. Put a 400lb woman on a cheap couch and you are going to have a worn out couch pretty damn fast. Ditto beds.

It sounds romantic to roll together and it is in the early years where you are having fun prooving that it is not possible to screw each other to death but a good nights sleep becomes more important the older you get. You need a good bed and a big one at that.

Number seven. Sex.
Once an SSBBW is beyond a certain size this becomes a bit of a logistics nightmare (worth persisting with though). No matter how avante Garde you may be there are certain positions into which an SSBBW doesn't bend.

Depending on your SSBBWs weight distribution there may be a loss of intimate contact i.e if lying on her back she sticks up 3 ft in the air.

Number eight. Accidents, ill health.
Ever thought about having to pick up and carry an injured SSBBW? Mine broke her leg and that wasn't fun. She gained about 60lb while she was in plaster though.

There are a lot of non-fantasy things to think about if you are seriously thinking of a long term relationship with an SSBBW.
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Old 04-30-2008, 02:57 PM   #323
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I really need to say This Bruce, You fuckin rock. I agree with you 10000000% It almost feels like your pulling quotes and ideas directly out of my head. I hope I can be as happy as you and Mellisa are together. I have some BIG Hopes and dreams on the horizon
That's a tall order, Haunted. But you have my best wishes for it.
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Old 04-30-2008, 03:03 PM   #324
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Candy you are such a cutie. Sometimes there are hardships as an SSBBW that I sorta take for granted if that makes sense? I was out on a date and as we were crossing the street he stepped up on the curb and reached for my hand. I thought that was kinda odd. I chuckled a little and asked him what he was doing and he said he was helping me up on the curb. As first I felt like it was overkill. What are we, clawing our way up Everest or something? I played along 'cause he was cute and took his hand and hefted my way up on the curb. The thing is, my knees DO hurt when I climb the curb but I've gotten so used to it that I don't think about it anymore. His hand did actually help which astonished me in a way. *I* had never really considered I suppose. He must have picked up on this habit from previous experience or something. I started out thinking the gesture kinda condescending but managed to see it in the spirit for which it was intended. I won't storm off in a huff from now on if every FA I meet doesn't think to do this but it was very sweet. YMMV of course. Some chicks might feel put out or condescended to but I thought it was great. Eventually.
*giggles* Thank ya love!
Yeah, I'd never experienced such concern over my well being before meeting Tommy. I guess I didn't mind it at first, but was probably a bit put off buy it. After a while he started slacking, due to the fact that I'd complain about it, saying, "I'm ok, I've got it.", till the first time he wasn't right there with me when I actually took a tumble onto my big butt. I have a muscular disorder, and sometimes my legs will just go out from under me for no apparent reason. He's been watching me like a hawk ever since.
When I told him I posted about him, he just re-affirmed what I'd thought. He knows I can't see my feet when I walk, so he just likes to make sure I'm not going to trip on something. "Not on my watch.", he'll say. When we first started seeing eachother, and I moved in with him as a roommate, I noticed he wasn't only like that with me, but every other ssbbw and bbw he was dating. He's definitely one of the good ones.

It's not something to be expected from every FA, but is one of those endearing things I love about some of them.

Love and CandyKisses


PS.. I think you're a cutie to, with a voice to makes the angels cry!
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Old 04-30-2008, 03:04 PM   #325
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nothing much to say except that makes me smile

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Originally Posted by candygodiva View Post
*giggles* Thank ya love!
Yeah, I'd never experienced such concern over my well being before meeting Tommy. I guess I didn't mind it at first, but was probably a bit put off buy it. After a while he started slacking, due to the fact that I'd complain about it, saying, "I'm ok, I've got it.", till the first time he wasn't right there with me when I actually took a tumble onto my big butt. I have a muscular disorder, and sometimes my legs will just go out from under me for no apparent reason. He's been watching me like a hawk ever since.
When I told him I posted about him, he just re-affirmed what I'd thought. He knows I can't see my feet when I walk, so he just likes to make sure I'm not going to trip on something. "Not on my watch.", he'll say. When we first started seeing eachother, and I moved in with him as a roommate, I noticed he wasn't only like that with me, but every other ssbbw and bbw he was dating. He's definitely one of the good ones.

It's not something to be expected from every FA, but is one of those endearing things I love about some of them.:
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