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Old 12-26-2009, 06:26 PM   #1176
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Right on Mikey

As for marriage, it is 2-way street with each party seeing what can be done for yoor partner ...

Last edited by david_aharon@yahoo.ca; 12-26-2009 at 06:35 PM. Reason: for clarity
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Old 12-27-2009, 12:22 AM   #1177
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He was a major jerk if he didn't notice or care about what you were going through or your basic needs, like walking slowly etc.. That goes for anyone whether they are fat or slim or married to someone who is fat or thin. I find marriage is all about being attuned to my partner.
You certainly deserve better and I am sure you will find it!

Lots of luck to you!
Thank you I'm not even really looking anymore, as I'm not sure very many people could meet the new standards I've set :P Everything my ex didn't do, a future partner had better do :P I'm not high maintenence, but I'll never marry someone again who has no understanding of my needs at all, if he asks that's great, and if he's open to listening, that's great too, but I'm definately not going to go through THAT again :P
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Old 12-27-2009, 12:22 AM   #1178
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Right on Mikey

As for marriage, it is 2-way street with each party seeing what can be done for yoor partner ...
I totally agree
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Old 12-27-2009, 12:24 AM   #1179
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Right on Mikey

As for marriage, it is 2-way street with each party seeing what can be done for yoor partner ...
also, thank you for your comments on my post
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Old 12-27-2009, 12:35 AM   #1180
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Thank you I'm not even really looking anymore, as I'm not sure very many people could meet the new standards I've set :P Everything my ex didn't do, a future partner had better do :P I'm not high maintenence, but I'll never marry someone again who has no understanding of my needs at all, if he asks that's great, and if he's open to listening, that's great too, but I'm definately not going to go through THAT again :P
what about your new wife?
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Old 12-27-2009, 03:00 AM   #1181
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what about your new wife?
Did you mean your Husband ?
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Old 12-28-2009, 03:59 AM   #1182
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lol! Jenboo and I are "facebook married" :P
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Old 02-20-2010, 05:26 AM   #1183
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Default Repost from last year: "Good Samaritan"

This also applies for the winter of 2010 and is a reminder, although this year it extends to the South:

At the risk of getting flamed I am going to post this with the best of intentions. Having had a very rough winter in the Midwest and Northeast, I want to suggest that anyone who has supersized friends offer to help them with their snow removal. I know many of our supersized friends are more then capable of shoveling snow and hauling around bags of salt and ice melt. However, a fair number are not. In addition, while walking is treacherous for everyone, for some of our friends getting off of the ground after a fall on their own steam is very tough. So helping with snow removal or errands on particularly foul days would be helpful to many I am sure. Again, as in earlier posts, I am speaking from MY experiences.
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Old 02-22-2010, 05:34 PM   #1184
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This also applies for the winter of 2010 and is a reminder, although this year it extends to the South:

At the risk of getting flamed I am going to post this with the best of intentions. Having had a very rough winter in the Midwest and Northeast, I want to suggest that anyone who has supersized friends offer to help them with their snow removal. I know many of our supersized friends are more then capable of shoveling snow and hauling around bags of salt and ice melt. However, a fair number are not. In addition, while walking is treacherous for everyone, for some of our friends getting off of the ground after a fall on their own steam is very tough. So helping with snow removal or errands on particularly foul days would be helpful to many I am sure. Again, as in earlier posts, I am speaking from MY experiences.
Excellent post, you are a doll!

About 3 years ago, I was walking up the ramp to the front door of my condo. We have a main door and inside is set up apartment style with the doors to our own units. Anyways, I slipped and fell on the ice. My neighbor (who hates fat people...you know the ones who won't say hello or look you in the eye) saw me fall and didn't come out to help me. My purse went flying and landed in the snow. When I tried to get up I fell down again and hit my knees really hard. With tears in my eyes I rolled my way to the snow pile and slowly got myself up. That's when I saw my neighbor looking at me through his window with disgust on his face. It's nice to know there are still good people left in the world who would help someone if they fell down or carry their stuff in for them.
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Old 02-26-2010, 05:05 AM   #1185
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Excellent post, you are a doll!

About 3 years ago, I was walking up the ramp to the front door of my condo. We have a main door and inside is set up apartment style with the doors to our own units. Anyways, I slipped and fell on the ice. My neighbor (who hates fat people...you know the ones who won't say hello or look you in the eye) saw me fall and didn't come out to help me. My purse went flying and landed in the snow. When I tried to get up I fell down again and hit my knees really hard. With tears in my eyes I rolled my way to the snow pile and slowly got myself up. That's when I saw my neighbor looking at me through his window with disgust on his face. It's nice to know there are still good people left in the world who would help someone if they fell down or carry their stuff in for them.
Are you serious??!?!?! OMG. I woulda been shouting my ass off to that neighbour. WTF you looking at your ignorant POS! Oh man, I have a temper when it comes to that kinda stuff. So sorry you had to go through that...man, what an ass hole.

Also, this is why I hate snow. When it snows I don't even dare step outside. No way Jose. I have slipped and fell way too many times and now that I am bigger than ever I could seriously hurt myself and not be able to get back up.
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Old 02-26-2010, 12:31 PM   #1186
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Are you serious??!?!?! OMG. I woulda been shouting my ass off to that neighbour. WTF you looking at your ignorant POS! Oh man, I have a temper when it comes to that kinda stuff. So sorry you had to go through that...man, what an ass hole.

Also, this is why I hate snow. When it snows I don't even dare step outside. No way Jose. I have slipped and fell way too many times and now that I am bigger than ever I could seriously hurt myself and not be able to get back up.
Yeah he's a real douchebag. I refused to hold the door open for him the other day when he was carrying in a big chair. The look on his face was priceless when he realized I wasn't going to help him.

I hear ya on the snow. I'm scared to death of ice and snow. I make my friends hold onto me when we're walking in and out of a restaurant or store.
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Old 02-26-2010, 12:35 PM   #1187
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About 3 years ago, I was walking up the ramp to the front door of my condo. We have a main door and inside is set up apartment style with the doors to our own units. Anyways, I slipped and fell on the ice. My neighbor (who hates fat people...you know the ones who won't say hello or look you in the eye) saw me fall and didn't come out to help me. My purse went flying and landed in the snow. When I tried to get up I fell down again and hit my knees really hard. With tears in my eyes I rolled my way to the snow pile and slowly got myself up. That's when I saw my neighbor looking at me through his window with disgust on his face.
That happened to me about 5 years ago while I was working at a place that helps people with disabilities. It was a terribly snowy day and I had to park on the hill. As I was getting out of my car, I slipped on a piece of ice and everything I was holding went flying, including a glass jar. There was a group of people from my floor outside smoking who saw me fall but continued to smoke as I struggled to get up...my knee swelling and bits of glass all over.
I later found out that no one wanted to help me because I was too fat and they might hurt their backs.
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Old 02-26-2010, 06:42 PM   #1188
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That happened to me about 5 years ago while I was working at a place that helps people with disabilities. It was a terribly snowy day and I had to park on the hill. As I was getting out of my car, I slipped on a piece of ice and everything I was holding went flying, including a glass jar. There was a group of people from my floor outside smoking who saw me fall but continued to smoke as I struggled to get up...my knee swelling and bits of glass all over.
I later found out that no one wanted to help me because I was too fat and they might hurt their backs.
ChubbyBubbles: that's horrible... what jerks and the sad part is that these are folks that know you or know of you- but, still .... it doesn't take much to go outside and help. It's like folks don't want to get involved.. bastards... bastards...bastards
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Old 02-27-2010, 12:38 PM   #1189
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Yeah he's a real douchebag. I refused to hold the door open for him the other day when he was carrying in a big chair. The look on his face was priceless when he realized I wasn't going to help him.

I hear ya on the snow. I'm scared to death of ice and snow. I make my friends hold onto me when we're walking in and out of a restaurant or store.
Good for you. It would have taken sheer willpower for me not to flip that dick off whilst he gazed through his window
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Old 03-01-2010, 02:16 PM   #1190
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I later found out that no one wanted to help me because I was too fat and they might hurt their backs.
what the hell ...that's awful
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Old 03-01-2010, 02:49 PM   #1191
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That happened to me about 5 years ago while I was working at a place that helps people with disabilities. It was a terribly snowy day and I had to park on the hill. As I was getting out of my car, I slipped on a piece of ice and everything I was holding went flying, including a glass jar. There was a group of people from my floor outside smoking who saw me fall but continued to smoke as I struggled to get up...my knee swelling and bits of glass all over.
I later found out that no one wanted to help me because I was too fat and they might hurt their backs.
Oh, for pete's sake. I honestly cannot imagine watching someone fall and not at least offering to help any way you can. I mean, even just offer to help you pick up the stuff you dropped, or SOMETHING. I'm sorry this happened to you (& you, too, Laura).
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Old 03-02-2010, 12:25 AM   #1192
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Default Wow!!!

I can't believe these stories!! It amazes me how petty, small minded and just plain stupid people are. I posted so people would remember to help our friends. I am sorry if it opened some raw memories!!
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Old 03-02-2010, 05:26 AM   #1193
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That happened to me about 5 years ago while I was working at a place that helps people with disabilities. It was a terribly snowy day and I had to park on the hill. As I was getting out of my car, I slipped on a piece of ice and everything I was holding went flying, including a glass jar. There was a group of people from my floor outside smoking who saw me fall but continued to smoke as I struggled to get up...my knee swelling and bits of glass all over.
I later found out that no one wanted to help me because I was too fat and they might hurt their backs.
I can understand that one person would not be willing to go alone ... but if there was 4 or 5 that could have done ...
If they have a cell phone shame on the whole pack of the for not at least calling the cops with it ... it's not that you are too fat that is the problem but it's a universal issue of taking the time to help ...as the old parable of the Good Samaritan shows us 2000 years ago.
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Old 03-02-2010, 06:15 AM   #1194
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i walk pretty quickly, but i'm not always a fan of stairs. i have almost (almost!) no shame in saying to someone: I'll meet you up there! and then finding an elevator. Feeling we have to do something to keep someone else happy, or whatever the motivation is, isn't necessary much of the time.
The whole purpose of you and and everything on the face of this universe is for you to use your unique talents to help others ... it's also the way to become a universal giver...

Consider the hierarchy:

The ground serves to allow plant life to grow ... Plants take from the ground and and give to the animal world. Science has taught us that Plants take sunlight and carbon dioxide and chlorophyll and release Oxygen through Photosynthesis. The animal breathes in oxygen and releases Carbon Dioxide which is reused by the plant.

The more you see science with this idea in mind the more you realize we are not dependent or independent of everything else but are INTERDEPENDENT ... you need something at the grocery store so you go to the store to get it .. you then use it to bake a nice cake for a mother who has given birth to girl who may one day wind up marrying you three year old son in the grand scheme of things.

The truth is we don't stop and think of what a small tiny act of kindness may one day blossom into.
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Old 04-27-2010, 02:01 PM   #1195
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I agree with all the posts. Most men do understand the difference between dating a SSBBW/BBW and a skinny girl. That is why now that I am dating again, I sold my Honda Civic and got a Linc. Towncar. I also have been checking out the different places to eat and seeing which are SSBBW/BBW friendly in seating.
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Old 07-29-2010, 11:04 PM   #1196
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I agree with all the posts. Most men do understand the difference between dating a SSBBW/BBW and a skinny girl. That is why now that I am dating again, I sold my Honda Civic and got a Linc. Towncar. I also have been checking out the different places to eat and seeing which are SSBBW/BBW friendly in seating.
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That's super sweet! If you need some suggestions, I'd be happy to help you since we live in the same area.
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Old 08-01-2010, 08:26 AM   #1197
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I'll admit in my younger years the differences didn't cross my mind at all. With time comes experience though. I have slowed my walk considerablly when with company and opted for larger/ more comfortable furniture. I sadly don't have a car because of money and all the public transportation bybwhere I live; however I am starting to look for one. Any suggestions?
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Old 08-01-2010, 10:10 AM   #1198
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I'll admit in my younger years the differences didn't cross my mind at all. With time comes experience though. I have slowed my walk considerablly when with company and opted for larger/ more comfortable furniture. I sadly don't have a car because of money and all the public transportation bybwhere I live; however I am starting to look for one. Any suggestions?
A car is way better than walking or climbing on to a crowded bus, whatever car it is. So far I've seen three threads dealing with car purchases and the advice can go on for pages and pages. The two main, hardcore, important things I can recommend you keep in mind is making sure the car will not inflict pain. The common thing that I dread about riding in someone's car is that the seatbelt receptacles will be these hard plastic things that jutt up right next to the seat. When I sit in the car my hip, buttock or thigh is mashed tightly against it and it can't be moved out of the way. This amounts to a repetative long-term injury and I'm so sore and bruised after. If I get out of the car, eat, and then get back in the area is tender and the pain is insane. Try and see if you can get a car where there is no buckle torture, and then there's the obvious making sure the seatbelt with fit her. That's easy to take care of though, just make sure the dealer gets you an extender.

Another issue is riding in stick shift cars or car's where the gear shift's not on the steering wheel. My knee rests HEAVILY against it, no matter how big the car is. I spend the entire ride straining not to press up against it too hard which is a pain. A guy I dated confessed it was his favorite thing because when he reached down to shif gears there was the added benefit of being able to touch my knee and my thigh. While this may be a tempting ploy, it is also very painful and even dangerous. I'm constantly worried that I may knock the car out of gear or something. It has happened once or twice. It was an unpleasant feeling. Beware of stick shifts.

Aside from that most everything else is negotiable or adjustable. Make sure the car isn't tiny, the seats can be adjusted, etc. Something important I try to tell everybody, both friends and lovers, about SSBBWs: Do not pull up directly close to the curb when picking up or dropping off an SSBBW. This should be a general rule for any passenger you have but you should leave at least 7 inches of space between the car and the curb so that your passenger can get a foothold. Due to my weight, 99.9% of the time the curb is level with or even higher than the seat I'm sitting in. If you're right up against the curb I nearly have to crawl out of the car on my ass to get out or turn around and fall backwards to get in. This rule does not apply if you are driving a truck or SUV. In this case the seat is way high up so you should park as close to the curb as you can get. Otherwise, always leave space.
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Old 08-01-2010, 02:47 PM   #1199
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A car is way better than walking or climbing on to a crowded bus, whatever car it is. So far I've seen three threads dealing with car purchases and the advice can go on for pages and pages. The two main, hardcore, important things I can recommend you keep in mind is making sure the car will not inflict pain. The common thing that I dread about riding in someone's car is that the seatbelt receptacles will be these hard plastic things that jutt up right next to the seat. When I sit in the car my hip, buttock or thigh is mashed tightly against it and it can't be moved out of the way. This amounts to a repetative long-term injury and I'm so sore and bruised after. If I get out of the car, eat, and then get back in the area is tender and the pain is insane. Try and see if you can get a car where there is no buckle torture, and then there's the obvious making sure the seatbelt with fit her. That's easy to take care of though, just make sure the dealer gets you an extender.

Another issue is riding in stick shift cars or car's where the gear shift's not on the steering wheel. My knee rests HEAVILY against it, no matter how big the car is. I spend the entire ride straining not to press up against it too hard which is a pain. A guy I dated confessed it was his favorite thing because when he reached down to shif gears there was the added benefit of being able to touch my knee and my thigh. While this may be a tempting ploy, it is also very painful and even dangerous. I'm constantly worried that I may knock the car out of gear or something. It has happened once or twice. It was an unpleasant feeling. Beware of stick shifts.

Aside from that most everything else is negotiable or adjustable. Make sure the car isn't tiny, the seats can be adjusted, etc. Something important I try to tell everybody, both friends and lovers, about SSBBWs: Do not pull up directly close to the curb when picking up or dropping off an SSBBW. This should be a general rule for any passenger you have but you should leave at least 7 inches of space between the car and the curb so that your passenger can get a foothold. Due to my weight, 99.9% of the time the curb is level with or even higher than the seat I'm sitting in. If you're right up against the curb I nearly have to crawl out of the car on my ass to get out or turn around and fall backwards to get in. This rule does not apply if you are driving a truck or SUV. In this case the seat is way high up so you should park as close to the curb as you can get. Otherwise, always leave space.
The other issue with curb is door scraping... while we may be able to wiggle out without doing it (we can see and we're moving differently...) when trying to get back inside we'll open the door all the way, which may clear, but then when we sit it may hit the ground, making us unable to close it and possibly damaging a tiny portion of the bottom of your door...which personally would make me die inside. If you can let us out before you park... go for it - might make it easier on everyone! hahah

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Old 08-01-2010, 03:16 PM   #1200
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnMarie View Post
The other issue with curb is door scraping... while we may be able to wiggle out without doing it (we can see and we're moving differently...) when trying to get back inside we'll open the door all the way, which may clear, but then when we sit it may hit the ground, making us unable to close it and possibly damaging a tiny portion of the bottom of your door...which personally would make me die inside. If you can let us out before you park... go for it - might make it easier on everyone! hahah

That happens to me all the time. I can't remember a time when it didn't. My solution for getting in is to open the car door, step off the curb into the street, put the other foot inside the car and then pull the car door as far towards me as I comfortably can before sitting down. With enough space between the car and the curb I can pull the door far enough inward to not have the door touch the curb when I sit down. A guy I know very well does this for me when I get in his car partly because he's a nice guy and partly because he's a maniac about his car and doesn't want me scraping it up. I live in a big city though so sometimes you gotta grab the space you see when you see it, especially if it's right in front. Otherwise, this is a fine argument for dropping your sweetie off at the door -- though you still have to observe the "ample curb space" rule when dropping her off unless you do so at a ramp.

ETA: Many times I've had to ask drivers to pull out first before I get in so I can have more space.
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Last edited by LillyBBBW; 08-01-2010 at 03:19 PM.
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