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Old 03-20-2011, 12:08 PM   #1276
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The only way you are going to find a decent person is to be one yourself.
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Old 03-20-2011, 12:22 PM   #1277
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One would have to agree that it is easier for a conventionally attractive lady (i.e. normal weight) to find a job. A SSBBW applying for a job is confronted with a higher obstacle to land a decent job.

This really is only for certain jobs, certain places, etc.

In my interviewing life, I have only not been offered a position 3 times, and none of those instances had a thing to do with weight (I know that, yes) - it was about skill set/good fit, etc. I have had at least 6 jobs, and multiple positions (promotions) at each company.

I'm not taking issue with you, but I did want to put it out there that not every single fat person out there looking for work is having an issue and that skills/personality/history in your field are also a large part of how you present yourself - not to mention confidence in yourself.

It's just not as cut and dry as "fat=hard to find work" at all.
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Old 03-20-2011, 12:25 PM   #1278
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Yes, you are wrong. Very wrong. Rudeness, tactlessness, and sheer mental cruelty are always wrong. You take and consume what women have to give, then whine and cry when things don't go your way. And then have the audacity to lecture people and the place they live in. Another rude peep out of you, and you are out of here for good and forever.
You can kick me out whenever you want, i asked you 2 years ago for that and you didnīt.
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Old 03-20-2011, 12:36 PM   #1279
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Well for all the SSBBW with a job and without handicaps... this was not ment for you. But the rest was just a reality check and i think you all know it very well. Itīs obvious that a jobless person, nearly unable to work (not everybody can do computer jobs or whatever) have really big problems and somebody should think twice before dating such a person if he can dedicate enough to her. I hope you understand that, well maybe itīs egoistic, because i donīt spend every Cent i have left on my partner but sorry i prefer to have a life too. It has to go together, and it didnīt, i tried it and got only abused the worst way. Donīt want to go into details, but i helped somebody out of a very big misery for one year. Was the most stupid thing i ever did. Therefore no jobless people dating. Any BBW or SSBBW which causes just normal problems in a relationship is very welcome. I am not a social worker and donīt wanna be.
Your post(s) are less a warning and more a reminder of why I'm better off for who I am. I do not justify a persons existence or merit a persons worth due to their job/career. In fact, there are many people holding outstanding jobs and fulfilling their career dreams that I inherently loathe. A persons worth is merited by their personality, their actions, their views, their judgments (or lack thereof). A good person is a good person. A financially secured individual is not necessarily worthwhile just because they have the means to support themselves (and one of those begging, helpless, troublesome SSBBW's....). The fact that you have helped someone out in your past that you [at the time] cared for and made sure that they were comfortable is admirable. However, as BigBeautifulMe said (and said very, very, very well ), "The fact that you can help someone you (ostensibly) cared about for a year and then regret it says more about YOU than about her."
It seems wrong to me to regret doing good things for people. Naturally, there are exceptions to every rule, but I consider a person in high character when they selflessly love, selflessly devote, selflessly care for, etc... It's part of being a decent human being.

I'd be more than willing - enthusiastic - to devote my life to a very fat woman whom I loved; financially supporting them in any way, emotionally supporting them, physically supporting them, and much more, whether she needed it or not. But hey, I guess that's just me. You, carrie_ult, do not speak for me.
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Old 03-20-2011, 12:41 PM   #1280
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Ashmamma84, reading your words sounds like you really know what i was talking about. It is as you say. Except of captain SSBBW stuff and we just had a friendship, i am not interested in woman fooling around with others.
Maybe i am wrong and i had just bad luck, some say LA women are like that, anyway i learned my lesson and thatīs it. Wouldnīt havenīt posted it, already knew how the community would react, but a certain BBW convinced me i should write it. Thatīs it.
Oh man, you need to stop. You didn't learn a shit assed thing. Why can't you just come clean with yourself and just admit that you got conned by a couple of proffessionals and you fell for it for a year? It happens all the time to all kinds of people and anybody is capable of doing this to you. SSBBWs dont own the patent on taking advantage of men for money. You think if you date a smaller woman she will be less or more likely to take you for a ride? You are profiling women under the wrong criteria. Anyone is capable of this. You got conned. Stop fooling yourself with, "Oh it was those pesky SSBBWs again!!" If you don't look at what went wrong in a realistic manner instead of objectifying body types and circumstantial rhetoric you are in danger of being taken again by some other person using the same tired techniques that you failed to recognized because you were so busy measuring asses. If after reading all these articulated testimonies you're still cleaving to your assurances that it was the fat that ripped you off then you've learned nothing at all.
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Old 03-20-2011, 12:42 PM   #1281
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I think we all know what you were talking about. But in the process you equated all SSBBWs to unemployed, begging worthless sub-human beings. And as Ashmamma84 said, it's fine to relay your experience if that was your experience. But to then take that limited interaction with two women and extrapolate that to an entire group of people is the kind of prejudice and sizism that this site is set up against. You're wrong to do that, and the fact that you did just displays your ignorance.



If you weren't interested in her and you only had a friendship, why did you begin by framing your first post in the context of your "relationships" with BBWs and SSBBWs, and why did you spend a year and all of that money and time and effort on her? At least be honest.



You are both wrong and it sounds like you may have had some bad luck-- at any rate, the thing that is perfectly clear is that you made poor decisions based upon what you had and what you were looking for...as Ashmamma84 also pointed out, you should have cut ties and run long before you did if you were unhappy with what you had. Don't, by your decisions, drag something on for a year and then blame her entirely for the things you voluntarily chose to do during the course of that year.

And "some say" a lot of shit about a lot of different things. I will say again, overgeneralizing an entire sector of the population based upon your bad interaction with two individuals is idiotic and prejudiced.



So the year you spent in a bad relationship is entirely the SSBBW's fault and the post was a certain BBW's fault. Sounds like you need to take some personal responsibility for your actions and stop letting women-- or the parts of your anatomy that respond to said women-- think for you.

And, yes, before I'm accused of only being offended because I'm someone like the SSBBW you referenced, I will say proudly that I am an American SSBBW who is well educated and well respected within my career field. I don't rely on anyone to "take care of me" in any way, shape, or form. I'm active, I have my own house, my own car, and my own things, and I maintain them-- both financially and through sweat equity-- on my own. I'm certainly not handicapped, I'm certainly not a golddigger, and I certainly wouldn't date someone like you. So perhaps your problem is that this shining personality you've displayed just doesn't attract and hold the attention of QUALITY women of any size. Quality is not always affected by quantity. And some of us are blessed enough to have both.
No i didnīt. I said handicapped, and SSBBW is not equal to handicapped or close too. I have no problems with SSBBW people, but i will not try to have an relation with a jobless problemcausing SSBBW anymore. If anybody critizes that, well not everybody is as tolerant as you. It is my life and i canīt dedicate enough for such a relation, would cause me bankrupcy too. So what should i do????

We had no sexual relation despite she also wanted, but i donīt sleep with woman who have a bf. She begged for help... and at the beginning of course i was interested in more not knowing of a bf, but she came up with a lot of lies anyway at that time i already lost my interest, but i knew the kids and they deserve better, they didnīt even had clothes without holes. She is ashamed too. I wasnīt able to deal with that unprepared as i was. I mean lots of ppl have so much problems in US they see no more future and forget their ethics. This was like beeing in the 1st world and at the same time in the 3rd world. I wouldnīt be so proud of that country and rethink a bit what the state is doing to those kids living under the poverty line.
Nothing to do with BBW, she is jobless for other reason too, laziness maybe.

Well and my other experience has a hard time to get up on her feet again, and damn this one is a well known member here, i helped out too. Donīt know if anybody here even recognized it that somebody in this great community had really big problems, cause to me it looks like everybody is super well and then comes the big suprise when somebody makes suicide or whatever. I am so glad everybody leaves in the perfect world.

Well as you said i should have stopped long before, in order to protect myself i will never again date jobless woman with a lot of problems. Further i am not fixed on SSBBW anyway. I love their bodies and appreciate woman of size but i donīt think i will find one, especially when you donīt want to live in USA. So end of the story, i am sorry but itīs about dating a SSBBW and that was my experience. I can write something positive but she was a bit below the SSBBW line i think.. what a great woman.
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Old 03-20-2011, 12:43 PM   #1282
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Oh man, you need to stop. You didn't learn a shit assed thing. Why can't you just come clean with yourself and just admit that you got conned by a couple of proffessionals and you fell for it for a year? It happens all the time to all kinds of people and anybody is capable of doing this to you. SSBBWs dont own the patent on taking advantage of men for money. You think if you date a smaller woman she will be less or more likely to take you for a ride? You are profiling women under the wrong criteria. Anyone is capable of this. You got conned. Stop fooling yourself with, "Oh it was those pesky SSBBWs again!!" If you don't look at what went wrong in a realistic manner instead of objectifying body types and circumstantial rhetoric you are in danger of being taken again by some other person using the same tired techniques that you failed to recognized because you were so busy measuring asses. If after reading all these articulated testimonies you're still cleaving to your assurances that it was the fat that ripped you off then you've learned nothing at all.
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Old 03-20-2011, 12:52 PM   #1283
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Oh man, you need to stop. You didn't learn a shit assed thing. Why can't you just come clean with yourself and just admit that you got conned by a couple of proffessionals and you fell for it for a year? It happens all the time to all kinds of people and anybody is capable of doing this to you. SSBBWs dont own the patent on taking advantage of men for money. You think if you date a smaller woman she will be less or more likely to take you for a ride? You are profiling women under the wrong criteria. Anyone is capable of this. You got conned. Stop fooling yourself with, "Oh it was those pesky SSBBWs again!!" If you don't look at what went wrong in a realistic manner instead of objectifying body types and circumstantial rhetoric you are in danger of being taken again by some other person using the same tired techniques that you failed to recognized because you were so busy measuring asses. If after reading all these articulated testimonies you're still cleaving to your assurances that it was the fat that ripped you off then you've learned nothing at all.
Well i am not sure, but if you are right that this was her intention from the beginning, i donīt think so because i met the family too. Anyway i will never date anyone with problems again, for exactly that reason, to protect myself.

Well admin, you may delete everything. Nice discussion, maybe i was wrong.
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Old 03-20-2011, 12:54 PM   #1284
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We had no sexual relation despite she also wanted, but i donīt sleep with woman who have a bf. She begged for help... and at the beginning of course i was interested in more not knowing of a bf....
Nothing to do with BBW, she is jobless for other reason too, laziness maybe.


...So end of the story, i am sorry but itīs about dating a SSBBW and that was my experience.

Your own words - you weren't dating that woman, she had a boyfriend and used you for money. She's a jerk and you were a sucker - that's not about size, that's about a perfect mingling of user and pawn.

Just like Lilly said, you got played and did it all on your own - get over it.
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Old 03-20-2011, 01:00 PM   #1285
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Well i am not sure, but if you are right that this was her intention from the beginning, i donīt think so because i met the family too. Anyway i will never date anyone with problems again, for exactly that reason, to protect myself.

Well admin, you may delete everything. Nice discussion, maybe i was wrong.
Look, I've been taken advantage of by people before too. I'm a good person and I don't want to see anyone suffer. There are people who by their very nature are just prone to let things go and rely on enablers to pick up the tab. Sometimes you have to learn to say 'No' and let them hit rock bottom. They may not seem like they've got a sinister agenda against you but neither will the next person you meet. I'm a healthy SSBBW and I know lots of unhealthy SSBBWs who aren't doing this to people. What they did to you came from a place in the mind that aflicts a lot of people, not just SSBBWs. There are plenty of us SSBBWs out there taking care of ourselves, bum knees and all.
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Old 03-20-2011, 01:00 PM   #1286
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No i didnīt. I said handicapped, and SSBBW is not equal to handicapped or close too. I have no problems with SSBBW people, but i will not try to have an relation with a jobless problemcausing SSBBW anymore. If anybody critizes that, well not everybody is as tolerant as you. It is my life and i canīt dedicate enough for such a relation, would cause me bankrupcy too. So what should i do????

We had no sexual relation despite she also wanted, but i donīt sleep with woman who have a bf. She begged for help... and at the beginning of course i was interested in more not knowing of a bf, but she came up with a lot of lies anyway at that time i already lost my interest, but i knew the kids and they deserve better, they didnīt even had clothes without holes. She is ashamed too. I wasnīt able to deal with that unprepared as i was. I mean lots of ppl have so much problems in US they see no more future and forget their ethics. This was like beeing in the 1st world and at the same time in the 3rd world. I wouldnīt be so proud of that country and rethink a bit what the state is doing to those kids living under the poverty line.
Nothing to do with BBW, she is jobless for other reason too, laziness maybe.

Well and my other experience has a hard time to get up on her feet again, and damn this one is a well known member here, i helped out too. Donīt know if anybody here even recognized it that somebody in this great community had really big problems, cause to me it looks like everybody is super well and then comes the big suprise when somebody makes suicide or whatever. I am so glad everybody leaves in the perfect world.

Well as you said i should have stopped long before, in order to protect myself i will never again date jobless woman with a lot of problems. Further i am not fixed on SSBBW anyway. I love their bodies and appreciate woman of size but i donīt think i will find one, especially when you donīt want to live in USA. So end of the story, i am sorry but itīs about dating a SSBBW and that was my experience. I can write something positive but she was a bit below the SSBBW line i think.. what a great woman.
I never said you were wrong for sharing your particular experiences...in fact, I said quite the opposite. Nor did I say that everyone in America or everyone on Dimensions is a pillar of any community. But what I DID say was that taking your experiences with two people and assuming an entire subset of the population and/or an entire country is to blame for the experience you had is foolish and flat out WRONG. What LillyBBW said is absolutely true. There's a sob story available out there for people of every shape, size, nationality, color, creed, etc. and con artists, golddiggers, and lazy women who don't want to work-- just like handicapped women who legitimately can't work-- don't just come in a neat SSBBW package. So explore your own thought processes (including the well stated and well taken points of BigBeautifulMe and Chimpi) before you make misinformed, ignorant generalizations about people.

(Also, as an American and as a human being, I worry less about what the "state" does to children and more about what their parents do to them. Again, that's an issue of assuming responsibility for yourself and your own and not expecting someone-- whether it be an individual like you or an inefficient welfare system-- to do it for them.)

Also, if you don't wish to be a member of this community, perhaps instead of begging for Conrad to ban you, you should simply consider logging out and never logging in again. But then, of course, you couldn't complain later that the evil Webmaster kicked you out of the forum just for "innocently" stating "facts." And what would you do if there was no one to blame but yourself??

And I should probably excuse myself from this particular conversation at this point. I tried not to allow myself to get involved in it to begin with, but I was too weak to fight the urge to respond.

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Old 03-20-2011, 01:36 PM   #1287
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maybe i was wrong.
Except two days from now you won't think this.

If you don't feel welcome here after spewing such bullshit, you're more than welcome to leave. It's as easy as just not coming back. Makes a hell of a lot more sense than thinking yourself a martyr by insulting half the people here and then daring the site owner to ban your ass.
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Old 03-20-2011, 02:47 PM   #1288
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One would have to agree that it is easier for a conventionally attractive lady (i.e. normal weight) to find a job. A SSBBW applying for a job is confronted with a higher obstacle to land a decent job.

For any carrier SSBBW here (my respect and jealously going to them) here there are scores of ladies that have been turned down because of their weight. Our fellow member might be right although we don't know the specific details.

However the issue is whether he would have done the same thing for a non SSBBW lady.

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Job market is tough whether one is thin or not- a good deal depends where you are working back office vs. sales and in an employers market there are so many factors that can disqualify someone other than weight...
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Old 03-20-2011, 02:48 PM   #1289
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Well i am not sure, but if you are right that this was her intention from the beginning, i donīt think so because i met the family too. Anyway i will never date anyone with problems again, for exactly that reason, to protect myself.

Well admin, you may delete everything. Nice discussion, maybe i was wrong.
No maybes here.....
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Old 03-20-2011, 03:09 PM   #1290
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Originally Posted by tonynyc View Post
Job market is tough whether one is thin or not- a good deal depends where you are working back office vs. sales and in an employers market there are so many factors that can disqualify someone other than weight...
i agree. as a super i have almost never been turned down for a job i got an interview for. education experience and behaving professionally is not based on size. its not size thats the real problem but the lack of preparation and sometimes just plain bad luck. any woman waiting around on her hindquaters for someone to rescue them can end up in the same place.
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Old 03-20-2011, 03:49 PM   #1291
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i agree. as a super i have almost never been turned down for a job i got an interview for. education experience and behaving professionally is not based on size. its not size thats the real problem but the lack of preparation and sometimes just plain bad luck. any woman waiting around on her hindquaters for someone to rescue them can end up in the same place.
I highlighted your three points that pretty much sums it up.... I cannot speak as to how where education plays a part in places outside the US -but, it often plays a big role here.... For certain degrees - unless one is coming from a Top School - they don't even look at you ... Then the Experience ... who have you worked for cause there is a certain bias to some job sectors and of course you have to have Luck - absent being born into the right circles...
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Old 03-20-2011, 04:32 PM   #1292
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You can kick me out whenever you want, i asked you 2 years ago for that and you didnīt.
My bad. Done. Auf Nimmerwiedersehen.
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Old 03-20-2011, 05:41 PM   #1293
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My bad. Done. Auf Nimmerwiedersehen.
YAY! Thank you, Chief.

*And there was much rejoicing!*
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Old 03-21-2011, 10:59 AM   #1294
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Auf Nimmerwiedersehen? I know that isn't Danke Schoen
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Old 03-21-2011, 09:10 PM   #1295
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This clearly wins the award for the most ignorant post I have read since being a member of this community. Congratulations.
I agree 250%!!!
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Old 03-21-2011, 09:25 PM   #1296
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Auf Wiedersehen = Until I see you again
Nimmer = never
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Old 03-21-2011, 11:54 PM   #1297
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My bad. Done. Auf Nimmerwiedersehen.
One has to love the way German lets you compound words to say exactly what you mean, in one fell swoop.

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Old 03-22-2011, 02:58 AM   #1298
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So, to get us back on topic now that nimrod - or would that be nimmer-rod now? - is gone, I for one would like to say that the best "reality" of dating an SSBBW is getting a big hug when you come home at the end of the day! Nothing feels like being enveloped in the arms of a warm, soft, lovely woman.

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Old 03-22-2011, 08:16 AM   #1299
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One has to love the way German lets you compound words to say exactly what you mean, in one fell swoop.
Yes, that is definitely true.

I can tell you, though, that the way the Germans use and incorporate English words can be quite befuddling (and often humorous). If you read a German paper or magazine these days, half the headlines seem slightly Germanized English words, or they simply build English words into German, very much opposite to what the French do (they avoid English words like the plague).

It gets even worse in computer terminology where sometimes they use an actual German word and other times they simply use ours. For example, a word processor is a Text Verarbeiter and an interface a Schnittstelle, but then they use "downloading" or "texting," so I never quite know what the going custom is.

But to return to the topic of this thread, everyone's reality of dating a SSBBW is different. One person's issues are another person's pleasures. As adults we know that absolutely everything has a price, a consequence, a reality, and a good part of being adult, as opposed to being a child, is learning how to deal with reality.

Me, I am thoroughly and totally in love with BBWs and SSBBWs, and the reality is even better than the fantasy. It's a complete package, one that has enriched my life, and one that I'd never want to be without.
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Old 03-22-2011, 08:43 AM   #1300
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Auf Wiedersehen = Until I see you again
Nimmer = never
Thanks thats a great quote
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