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Old 05-12-2011, 09:44 PM   #1326
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Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
Why does ANY SSBBW need to justify their existence, including the inconvenient truths of it? I want to be treated compassionately like a human being because I am a human being not because I have a legitimate disability or that SSBBW over there just can't walk very far without assistance or getting winded.

Kudos to the more ample women here who can hike and bike and do all the other strenuous cardiac pumping activities but I don't owe anyone any explanation as to why I can or can't do what I can or can't do. If you (general you) can find that elusive 500 lb. unicorn who can do cartwheels and marathons, then more power to both of you but lots of luck finding her and make sure you stay out of my way because there are plenty of men who are more than willing to fall all over themselves to drive me to the front door in style because it pleases me and it pleases him to please me and he knows that for every kindness he gives, it will be reciprocated in abundance.
Amen my sista. I can not rep you enough for this.
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Old 05-12-2011, 09:49 PM   #1327
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I want to be treated compassionately like a human being because I am a human being
...and, that's pretty much it.

The rest of this thread is just commentary.

-Rusty
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:00 PM   #1328
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I think there's a bit of shooting the messenger here. I'm not saying what I've said in this thread because I want to tell people how to live. I'm saying it because there are rules the human body works by, and you either play along with them or REALLY crappy things happen to you. I've seen it in my own family, and it's absolutely tragic. As just one example, imagine having 8 percent of your heart still working. EIGHT. All because when life made it harder to get around, you let it get to you. And then one day... BAM. Life suddenly gets much smaller, with no good choices left.

So, I'm not judging anyone, just... be smart people. That's all.
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:05 PM   #1329
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Originally Posted by yourhandsonyourhips View Post
I think there's a bit of shooting the messenger here. I'm not saying what I've said in this thread because I want to tell people how to live. I'm saying it because there are rules the human body works by, and you either play along with them or REALLY crappy things happen to you. I've seen it in my own family, and it's absolutely tragic. As just one example, imagine having 8 percent of your heart still working. EIGHT. All because when life made it harder to get around, you let it get to you. And then one day... BAM. Life suddenly gets much smaller, with no good choices left.

So, I'm not judging anyone, just... be smart people. That's all.
When the messenger is:

1) Missing the point of the thread;
2) Completely clueless;
3) Making an ass out of himself,

yeah, sometimes it's right to blame said messenger.
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Old 05-15-2011, 10:06 PM   #1330
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Especially on message boards. Duh.
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Old 05-15-2011, 11:16 PM   #1331
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Originally Posted by yourhandsonyourhips View Post
I think there's a bit of shooting the messenger here. I'm not saying what I've said in this thread because I want to tell people how to live. I'm saying it because there are rules the human body works by, and you either play along with them or REALLY crappy things happen to you. I've seen it in my own family, and it's absolutely tragic. As just one example, imagine having 8 percent of your heart still working. EIGHT. All because when life made it harder to get around, you let it get to you. And then one day... BAM. Life suddenly gets much smaller, with no good choices left.

So, I'm not judging anyone, just... be smart people. That's all.
Did it ever occur to you that some of the people you're talking to have already had some crappy things happen to them? And that maybe they're trying to do the best they can with what they've got going on *right now*?

And that the last thing they need is some socially tone-deaf idiot who knows nothing about their individual situations (and not a whole lot about this community either, going by post count) to tell them how to live their lives.

Not that you're judging, you just think we're stupid if we don't keep ourselves healthy enough to meet your standards. Step off, little boy...
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Old 05-16-2011, 10:32 AM   #1332
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Originally Posted by yourhandsonyourhips View Post
I think there's a bit of shooting the messenger here. I'm not saying what I've said in this thread because I want to tell people how to live. I'm saying it because there are rules the human body works by, and you either play along with them or REALLY crappy things happen to you. I've seen it in my own family, and it's absolutely tragic. As just one example, imagine having 8 percent of your heart still working. EIGHT. All because when life made it harder to get around, you let it get to you. And then one day... BAM. Life suddenly gets much smaller, with no good choices left.

So, I'm not judging anyone, just... be smart people. That's all.
I know someone who's lungs only 30% work because the parents chain smoked in the house since before and after he was born. He has no chance of ever getting in the shape of how you want and it had nothing to do with what he ate in life.

You have absolutely no idea how any of these people runs their lives because you don't know them.

Who's really going to listen to you really? Nobody
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Old 05-16-2011, 11:16 AM   #1333
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Originally Posted by CastingPearls View Post
Why does ANY SSBBW need to justify their existence, including the inconvenient truths of it? I want to be treated compassionately like a human being because I am a human being not because I have a legitimate disability or that SSBBW over there just can't walk very far without assistance or getting winded.

Kudos to the more ample women here who can hike and bike and do all the other strenuous cardiac pumping activities but I don't owe anyone any explanation as to why I can or can't do what I can or can't do. If you (general you) can find that elusive 500 lb. unicorn who can do cartwheels and marathons, then more power to both of you but lots of luck finding her and make sure you stay out of my way because there are plenty of men who are more than willing to fall all over themselves to drive me to the front door in style because it pleases me and it pleases him to please me and he knows that for every kindness he gives, it will be reciprocated in abundance.
"You must spread some Rep....."

Applause.
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Old 05-16-2011, 11:49 AM   #1334
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Originally Posted by yourhandsonyourhips View Post
I think there's a bit of shooting the messenger here. I'm not saying what I've said in this thread because I want to tell people how to live. I'm saying it because there are rules the human body works by, and you either play along with them or REALLY crappy things happen to you. I've seen it in my own family, and it's absolutely tragic. As just one example, imagine having 8 percent of your heart still working. EIGHT. All because when life made it harder to get around, you let it get to you. And then one day... BAM. Life suddenly gets much smaller, with no good choices left.

So, I'm not judging anyone, just... be smart people. That's all.
Stop posting in this thread. Seriously. Just stop. You don't get it, you'll never get it, and you'll find no sympathy here for your parochial views.
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Old 05-16-2011, 06:55 PM   #1335
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I think there's a bit of shooting the messenger here. I'm not saying what I've said in this thread because I want to tell people how to live. I'm saying it because there are rules the human body works by, and you either play along with them or REALLY crappy things happen to you. I've seen it in my own family, and it's absolutely tragic. As just one example, imagine having 8 percent of your heart still working. EIGHT. All because when life made it harder to get around, you let it get to you. And then one day... BAM. Life suddenly gets much smaller, with no good choices left.

So, I'm not judging anyone, just... be smart people. That's all.
Really.... no shit- who decides the rules -other than genetics, fate and god...




Someone forgot to tell him about the "rules"

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Old 05-17-2011, 04:04 AM   #1336
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Stop posting in this thread. Seriously. Just stop. You don't get it, you'll never get it, and you'll find no sympathy here for your parochial views.
^^^ This. Seriously, leave this thread. We LIVE in these bodies. Don't come in here trying to school us on stupid shit. You have merely a remedial understanding of anything. Go away.
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Old 05-21-2011, 08:31 AM   #1337
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Originally Posted by yourhandsonyourhips View Post
I think there's a bit of shooting the messenger here. I'm not saying what I've said in this thread because I want to tell people how to live. I'm saying it because there are rules the human body works by, and you either play along with them or REALLY crappy things happen to you. I've seen it in my own family, and it's absolutely tragic. As just one example, imagine having 8 percent of your heart still working. EIGHT. All because when life made it harder to get around, you let it get to you. And then one day... BAM. Life suddenly gets much smaller, with no good choices left.

So, I'm not judging anyone, just... be smart people. That's all.

Join date of this month? Either some kid got hold of a computer or just another preaching troll with no clue

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Old 05-21-2011, 09:20 AM   #1338
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This thread is like watching Christians getting fed to the lions. I think I'll pull up a seat and watch the carnage.
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Old 05-22-2011, 10:20 AM   #1339
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Well for all the SSBBW with a job and without handicaps... this was not ment for you. But the rest was just a reality check and i think you all know it very well. Itīs obvious that a jobless person, nearly unable to work (not everybody can do computer jobs or whatever) have really big problems and somebody should think twice before dating such a person if he can dedicate enough to her. I hope you understand that, well maybe itīs egoistic, because i donīt spend every Cent i have left on my partner but sorry i prefer to have a life too. It has to go together, and it didnīt, i tried it and got only abused the worst way. Donīt want to go into details, but i helped somebody out of a very big misery for one year. Was the most stupid thing i ever did. Therefore no jobless people dating. Any BBW or SSBBW which causes just normal problems in a relationship is very welcome. I am not a social worker and donīt wanna be.
why do you assume that the jobless status of any SSBBW/M is their fault and not the prospective employers? I have been considered super sized by the world for most of my adult life and still held down responsible positions for over 20 years. THEN my husband became seriously ill and the stress of all the responsibility played havoc on my body and caused me to become mobility challenged. Yet I still went to work everyday, walker and all. I was good at my job and did it well. All of a sudden the "situation" became difficult for my boss and I was let go. Turns out that her daughter needed a job and I was the sacrificial lamb. Also my boss was always pushing WLS and did not understand why I didn't jump at the chance, but she had her own food issues. I searched for another job for 6 months but no one was willing to give me a chance. Employers would be excited by my resume over the phone but suddenly I was not qualified when the saw me. My mind and talents did not change but the closed minded attitude of prospective employers did. ....Yes every community has lazy individuals but maybe you should think before you speak.
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Old 05-22-2011, 10:27 AM   #1340
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yeah, sometimes it's right to blame said messenger.
Messenger 1
Definition: One who bears a message; the bearer of a verbal or written communication, notice, or invitation, from one person to another.

Messenger 2
Definition: One who, or that which, foreshows, or foretells.

To be a messenger, one has to have a message, and I've waded through a bunch of words and shit, but can't find the message....
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Old 05-22-2011, 10:27 AM   #1341
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Love the German! Sorry for this, but de-lurking here and changing subjects back to the original post:



If I were the guy in the above scenario, I'd be worried. Humans are walking and running machines... we're built for it. If your body is preventing you from getting simple things done like walking several miles without pain, it's your body asking for help before you encounter much worse health issues. Some of the best women I've dated are just big, but they'll still manage to outrun most people and make a mockery of you in a swim race.

I want to stress that weight isn't problematic - it's just the physical limitation of not being able to walk several miles. It's a sign your body needs more practice doing just that. If you exercise regularly and you're still 375lbs, that's great and this forum is proof there's a long list of men waiting to date you. But given the trade, I hope your preference would be to stay capable rather than to stay heavy.

Personally, if I'm going to fall in love with someone, I want someone who will be with me for as long as possible. Someone whose daily activities are impeded like this is someone who's giving into limitations. What limitations will they accept in 5 years? In 20? Many places on these forums tell heart-wrenching personal stories of health problems that occur when you just let new limitations set in and become a part of your life.

So again - being heavy isn't being unhealthy. But dammit, be healthy! For me, selfishly, the more healthy heavy women in the world, the more great dates guys like me have to choose from
The real question is why would a SSBBW or BBW want to date a guy like you? Yes many of us have health issues but so do so called normal people. You never know what the future will bring. Part of loving someone is staying with them when health challenges develop. If you are not willing to accept that possibility then stay single.
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Old 05-22-2011, 07:37 PM   #1342
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I like this thread a lot. Its very insightful, often I get caught up in dreaming and not really facing the reality of being with/dating a ssbbw, so this is helpful.
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Old 05-23-2011, 10:28 AM   #1343
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Messenger 1
Definition: One who bears a message; the bearer of a verbal or written communication, notice, or invitation, from one person to another.

Messenger 2
Definition: One who, or that which, foreshows, or foretells.

To be a messenger, one has to have a message, and I've waded through a bunch of words and shit, but can't find the message....
Curse my imrepotence!
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Old 08-04-2011, 06:35 AM   #1344
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Well speaking as a SSBBW there are obvious issues like I can't go hiking up a mountain...well I can but its hard...but I can do everything else a "normal" person do... I like to walk, swim, bike, dance(which I love doing lol)... I hold down a full time job working 12 hour shifts...people do look at you and assume a lot of stuff but I really don't care...people can only hurt you if you let them! And yes I understand that not every SSBBW functions at the same level but just live life to the fullest you can however you can! I would not want someone telling me I can't do something cause I'm a big girl, it might be slower going for somethings or trial and error for other things I am never gonna give up! Yes being this size isn't always easy but I am me and I am darn good at it!
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Old 09-05-2011, 03:08 AM   #1345
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Well speaking as a SSBBW there are obvious issues like I can't go hiking up a mountain...well I can but its hard...but I can do everything else a "normal" person do... I like to walk, swim, bike, dance(which I love doing lol)... I hold down a full time job working 12 hour shifts...people do look at you and assume a lot of stuff but I really don't care...people can only hurt you if you let them! And yes I understand that not every SSBBW functions at the same level but just live life to the fullest you can however you can! I would not want someone telling me I can't do something cause I'm a big girl, it might be slower going for somethings or trial and error for other things I am never gonna give up! Yes being this size isn't always easy but I am me and I am darn good at it!
Bit off topic, but your location - Newfoundland - and note about 12 hour shifts reminded me of a trip I made to Newfoundland and visiting a fish processing plant (I was working for DFO at the time). They do long shifts there on their feet, and there was a really cute SSBBW, with calves so big she had to cut open the back of her boots to fit into them. I thought it was amazing that she was able to do a job like that that required her to be on her feet all day; it's not fun for anyone, but for someone obviously well over 350 lbs, it was a testament to her endurance. Way to go, SSBBWs! There really is nothing you cannot do.
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Old 09-05-2011, 07:01 AM   #1346
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Even though we've been married more than 30 years, and we've known each other more than 45 years since second grade, we still consider our nights out to be dates.

Last night we had a bad experience at a certain chain restaurant which reminded us why we hadn't dined there at all this year. It was very busy, but we arrived just before the big rush so they tried to seat us right away. Too bad the booth was so small I barely fit, and we couldn't maneuver the table enough for my supersize wife to fit. Just then a nearby table became free so the hostess seated us there, but even the tables were tightly packed together. For the next hour I had a clear view of the tiny booth that was too small for my wife and almost too small for me. The hostess tried to seat at least 5 other couples there but all of them refused. I was especially stunned to see the clueless hostess try to seat a man and his hypersize wife there. That booth remained empty despite the high demand. Poor design, and they also have no concept of the size of some of their patrons.

I could watch that booth because the service was so slow our meals hadn't arrived after an hour, so we left. We politely but firmly spoke to a manager, who at least apologized and gave us a gift card for our next visit. We almost refused the gift card because that tight seating and poor service reminded us why we had avoided that restaurant. Maybe we'll have better luck using it at another location when we're on vacation.

All's well that ends well. We were so hungry after that dining misadventure we rushed to Wendy's right next door for a couple burgers, and it was a much better experience. Today I'll make it up to my wife by taking her to a fine local restaurant where we know the tables and booths are nice and spacious and the food and service are excellent. Pricey, but sometimes you just have to pay a little extra to take extra special care of your sweetheart.
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Last edited by TimeTraveller; 09-05-2011 at 07:08 AM.
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Old 09-05-2011, 07:43 AM   #1347
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Originally Posted by TimeTraveller View Post
Even though we've been married more than 30 years, and we've known each other more than 45 years since second grade, we still consider our nights out to be dates.

Last night we had a bad experience at a certain chain restaurant which reminded us why we hadn't dined there at all this year. It was very busy, but we arrived just before the big rush so they tried to seat us right away. Too bad the booth was so small I barely fit, and we couldn't maneuver the table enough for my supersize wife to fit. Just then a nearby table became free so the hostess seated us there, but even the tables were tightly packed together. For the next hour I had a clear view of the tiny booth that was too small for my wife and almost too small for me. The hostess tried to seat at least 5 other couples there but all of them refused. I was especially stunned to see the clueless hostess try to seat a man and his hypersize wife there. That booth remained empty despite the high demand. Poor design, and they also have no concept of the size of some of their patrons.

I could watch that booth because the service was so slow our meals hadn't arrived after an hour, so we left. We politely but firmly spoke to a manager, who at least apologized and gave us a gift card for our next visit. We almost refused the gift card because that tight seating and poor service reminded us why we had avoided that restaurant. Maybe we'll have better luck using it at another location when we're on vacation.

All's well that ends well. We were so hungry after that dining misadventure we rushed to Wendy's right next door for a couple burgers, and it was a much better experience. Today I'll make it up to my wife by taking her to a fine local restaurant where we know the tables and booths are nice and spacious and the food and service are excellent. Pricey, but sometimes you just have to pay a little extra to take extra special care of your sweetheart.
Sounds like you either went to Outback Steakhouse, Bugaboo Creek or Applebees. Glad it all worked out for you in the end.
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Old 09-05-2011, 10:56 AM   #1348
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Originally Posted by TimeTraveller View Post
Even though we've been married more than 30 years, and we've known each other more than 45 years since second grade, we still consider our nights out to be dates.

Last night we had a bad experience at a certain chain restaurant which reminded us why we hadn't dined there at all this year. It was very busy, but we arrived just before the big rush so they tried to seat us right away. Too bad the booth was so small I barely fit, and we couldn't maneuver the table enough for my supersize wife to fit. Just then a nearby table became free so the hostess seated us there, but even the tables were tightly packed together. For the next hour I had a clear view of the tiny booth that was too small for my wife and almost too small for me. The hostess tried to seat at least 5 other couples there but all of them refused. I was especially stunned to see the clueless hostess try to seat a man and his hypersize wife there. That booth remained empty despite the high demand. Poor design, and they also have no concept of the size of some of their patrons.

I could watch that booth because the service was so slow our meals hadn't arrived after an hour, so we left. We politely but firmly spoke to a manager, who at least apologized and gave us a gift card for our next visit. We almost refused the gift card because that tight seating and poor service reminded us why we had avoided that restaurant. Maybe we'll have better luck using it at another location when we're on vacation.

All's well that ends well. We were so hungry after that dining misadventure we rushed to Wendy's right next door for a couple burgers, and it was a much better experience. Today I'll make it up to my wife by taking her to a fine local restaurant where we know the tables and booths are nice and spacious and the food and service are excellent. Pricey, but sometimes you just have to pay a little extra to take extra special care of your sweetheart.
So sorry you had such a disappointing experience out on what could have been a very nice night.
Don't ever refuse the gift card though.....cause there is always take out
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Old 09-05-2011, 12:00 PM   #1349
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Alright, I don't post here very often, but I have something to say about this latest controversy.

First of all, I want to say that when I see people with physical limitations, I try my very best not to judge them. I really have no idea how they got to where they are, no matter whether they're thin or fat or whatever. However, and I'm pretty sure some of you will take offense at this, I always feel pity for them. I consider myself very fortunate to be able-bodied, and I will honestly be quite miserable if I wasn't. I'm sure this is because I'm used to exercising regularly (in fact I just got back from a wonderful bike ride), and I know how important exercise is to both physical and mental health.

Everyone is attacking yourhandsonyourhips for his comments, writing them off as being judgmental, but I really don't feel like he deserves such harsh criticism, and I'm especially referring to the comment that stated that his views were not welcome on this forum. It's fine if you disagree with his point of view, but to state that another point of view isn't even welcome here is just unreasonable and is advocating censorship. Really, what is the point of a forum if people aren't allowed to exchange different points of view? I could understand such anger if he had been intentionally insulting and was only here to start a flame war, but that was definitely not the case.

I really don't feel like he was trying to judge anyone; it was more of a general statement that it concerns him when someone is unable to do a modest amount of walking, which I completely understand. He wasn't trying to say "You are an evil, lazy person for not being able to walk two miles," he was saying that he would be concerned if a partner of his was unable to do so, because it IS indicative of poor health, and if you love someone you should be concerned with their health.

As he said, humans are meant to move, and it is absolutely necessary for good health, much more important that weight, and I feel bad for anyone who cannot do so, no matter what the cause of their limitations are, because I would be miserable in their place.

Hopefully I don't get banned for this, but I just had to say it.
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Old 09-05-2011, 01:12 PM   #1350
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Originally Posted by Aivo View Post
Alright, I don't post here very often, but I have something to say about this latest controversy.

First of all, I want to say that when I see people with physical limitations, I try my very best not to judge them. I really have no idea how they got to where they are, no matter whether they're thin or fat or whatever. However, and I'm pretty sure some of you will take offense at this, I always feel pity for them. I consider myself very fortunate to be able-bodied, and I will honestly be quite miserable if I wasn't. I'm sure this is because I'm used to exercising regularly (in fact I just got back from a wonderful bike ride), and I know how important exercise is to both physical and mental health.

Everyone is attacking yourhandsonyourhips for his comments, writing them off as being judgmental, but I really don't feel like he deserves such harsh criticism, and I'm especially referring to the comment that stated that his views were not welcome on this forum. It's fine if you disagree with his point of view, but to state that another point of view isn't even welcome here is just unreasonable and is advocating censorship. Really, what is the point of a forum if people aren't allowed to exchange different points of view? I could understand such anger if he had been intentionally insulting and was only here to start a flame war, but that was definitely not the case.

I really don't feel like he was trying to judge anyone; it was more of a general statement that it concerns him when someone is unable to do a modest amount of walking, which I completely understand. He wasn't trying to say "You are an evil, lazy person for not being able to walk two miles," he was saying that he would be concerned if a partner of his was unable to do so, because it IS indicative of poor health, and if you love someone you should be concerned with their health.

As he said, humans are meant to move, and it is absolutely necessary for good health, much more important that weight, and I feel bad for anyone who cannot do so, no matter what the cause of their limitations are, because I would be miserable in their place.

Hopefully I don't get banned for this, but I just had to say it.
WHAT!?! I mean... what is the disconnect here? Did you READ the sign over the thread? This. is. a. thread..... about the realities..... of dating..... a SOOOOOOPERSIZED..... super sized woman. Not a midsized, not a plumber, not chubby, not portly, not reubenesque. Supersized. And thank the good lord you're here fresh from the trail to preach to us about our shameful evils. If you don't want to date a SUPER SIZED woman then this thread is not. for. you. and is not the place for you to bloat on about who we are as you understand it. Seriously, just leave us alone.
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