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Old 04-28-2008, 04:26 AM   #201
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Originally Posted by Susannah View Post
Yes. I have two cousins who live in London and their places are both small.
I have also heard that people there are not so fond of fat people ,and some of them can be very mean in that regard.

Not so fond? LOL. I have never experienced pure hatred like this in all of my life. It's hard to explain because the bbws that were raised here know nothing different and the bbws in America can't comprehend it. You can't understand until you have lived in both cultures. Then add to the fact that things are physically smaller here in the UK and it is a recipe for disaster. It makes me even prouder that Mike is so ok and open about his preference. We always hold hands in public and he doesn't think twice before kissing me in the middle of a store....he makes me feel like a princess even though everyone else is glaring at me. *sigh* I have the best FA hubby....seriously....so thoughtful and loving.
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Old 04-28-2008, 04:57 AM   #202
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Originally Posted by BigBellySSBBW View Post
Not so fond? LOL. I have never experienced pure hatred like this in all of my life. It's hard to explain because the bbws that were raised here know nothing different and the bbws in America can't comprehend it. You can't understand until you have lived in both cultures. Then add to the fact that things are physically smaller here in the UK and it is a recipe for disaster. It makes me even prouder that Mike is so ok and open about his preference. We always hold hands in public and he doesn't think twice before kissing me in the middle of a store....he makes me feel like a princess even though everyone else is glaring at me. *sigh* I have the best FA hubby....seriously....so thoughtful and loving.
Gosh I am sorry that you are having to go through this Donni. Some people can be arrogant bloody pigs, women and men alike. I went through years of abuse because of my weight, I have been there and it has left me scarred somewhat.
Mike sounds like such a nice guy. It must be hard because others must have a go at him also for his preference. Some people are just so horrible.

My heart does go out to you.

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Old 04-28-2008, 05:08 AM   #203
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Gosh I am sorry that you are having to go through this Donni. Some people can be arrogant bloody pigs, women and men alike. I went through years of abuse because of my weight, I have been there and it has left me scarred somewhat.
Mike sounds like such a nice guy. It must be hard because others must have a go at him also for his preference. Some people are just so horrible.

My heart does go out to you.

Shosh
Actually people haven't said much to him. He got a couple of comments from people at work when they found Mike's myspace (before we made them private) and there was a picture of him and I on a bed...he got some shit for that...for a day, but that's been it. People knew of his preference cos his last gf was fat, though she hated it and other fat people. His parents haven't said anything except "are you sure you know what you are doing?" when he told them I was moving over. He's been very lucky. The only time we socialise together is at BGP and most of the guys there are jealous of him, lol, so it's an ego boost for him.

It does help that Mike is very attractive, educated and doing very well in his career. People respect him.....he's like my lil trophy husband, lol.

And don't feel too sorry for me I'm spoiled. I have found true love...something most people miss out on...so what if I have to deal with a few assholes lol. I'm getting better at dealing with it, I think. I do feel sorry for other bbws in countries other than the USA....the girls in the US have no idea just how good they have it!

I'm lucky I have an FA who totally gets my needs and goes out of his way to make me comfy and happy. I get so used to it that sometimes I take it for granted, but he really is great.

As far as the UK goes, hopefully there will be a fat revolution soon, lol. I doubt it, but I can hope. There are a lot of FAs here....it would be great if people could just be free to be themselves....fat or thin.
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Old 04-28-2008, 05:09 AM   #204
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Not so fond? LOL. I have never experienced pure hatred like this in all of my life. It's hard to explain because the bbws that were raised here know nothing different and the bbws in America can't comprehend it. You can't understand until you have lived in both cultures. Then add to the fact that things are physically smaller here in the UK and it is a recipe for disaster. It makes me even prouder that Mike is so ok and open about his preference. We always hold hands in public and he doesn't think twice before kissing me in the middle of a store....he makes me feel like a princess even though everyone else is glaring at me. *sigh* I have the best FA hubby....seriously....so thoughtful and loving.
You are so RIGHT - at 42 I have lived with this English stigma most of my life as thats as long as I've been fat LOL
I live in a large village/tiny market town - have done for 9 yrs now - but I just CANNOT get a date locally as this has to be one of the most 'fatist' communities I ever lived in - if I had a pound for every time a guy in my local has told me he thinks I am fantastic - gorgeous - decent - blah blah blah - BUT I am too fat for him so if I lose 5-10 stone he'll date me - my replies have usually been blunt and to the point along the lines of who asked you anyway LOL
I also have my fair share of problems with restaurants and now have given up with cinemas - even train/bus transport can be very uncomfortable for the old knees squashed into too tight seat areas
But by far the worst problem is our British society - so many are so anti-fat (both male and female) and as a SSBBW you get the worst of it - sniggers - blatantly rude comments said loud enough for you to overhear - bets to see who can pull the fat bird - being groped and harassed cos they think you are a quick no strings shag - and worse of all they feel you don't deserve to have feelings or be treated as a normal member of society cos after all it must have been because you are a greedy binger that you got that fat and gross in the first place....sigh
Some days I despair of us Brits ever becoming an accepting society and community - rare is the UK man who will stick to fingers up to whats expected of him in the dating game and will stand to what he desires and wants and bugger the fatist haters
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Old 04-28-2008, 05:23 AM   #205
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You are so RIGHT - at 42 I have lived with this English stigma most of my life as thats as long as I've been fat LOL
I live in a large village/tiny market town - have done for 9 yrs now - but I just CANNOT get a date locally as this has to be one of the most 'fatist' communities I ever lived in - if I had a pound for every time a guy in my local has told me he thinks I am fantastic - gorgeous - decent - blah blah blah - BUT I am too fat for him so if I lose 5-10 stone he'll date me - my replies have usually been blunt and to the point along the lines of who asked you anyway LOL
I also have my fair share of problems with restaurants and now have given up with cinemas - even train/bus transport can be very uncomfortable for the old knees squashed into too tight seat areas
But by far the worst problem is our British society - so many are so anti-fat (both male and female) and as a SSBBW you get the worst of it - sniggers - blatantly rude comments said loud enough for you to overhear - bets to see who can pull the fat bird - being groped and harassed cos they think you are a quick no strings shag - and worse of all they feel you don't deserve to have feelings or be treated as a normal member of society cos after all it must have been because you are a greedy binger that you got that fat and gross in the first place....sigh
Some days I despair of us Brits ever becoming an accepting society and community - rare is the UK man who will stick to fingers up to whats expected of him in the dating game and will stand to what he desires and wants and bugger the fatist haters

Finally, lol, someone lives in the same Britain that I live in, lol. Thankfully I haven't had to live here as a single person...I think I woulda died. But yes, the view of a fat person as greedy is something I hear quite a lot. It took a while to even comprehend what they were getting at because in America I was not once in my entire life called greedy for being fat. It has been a hard transition to go from a fat tolerant society to a fat hating one...it has taken my self esteem for a wild ride in which I haven't recovered.
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Old 04-28-2008, 05:26 AM   #206
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Australia is pretty anti fat too. People made my life so miserable. I was often verbally abused, and I even had a beer bottle thrown at me once.
America sounds like the place to live if you are an SSBBW. It sounds as if life would be easier there than anywhere else.
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Old 04-28-2008, 05:30 AM   #207
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Finally, lol, someone lives in the same Britain that I live in, lol. Thankfully I haven't had to live here as a single person...I think I woulda died. But yes, the view of a fat person as greedy is something I hear quite a lot. It took a while to even comprehend what they were getting at because in America I was not once in my entire life called greedy for being fat. It has been a hard transition to go from a fat tolerant society to a fat hating one...it has taken my self esteem for a wild ride in which I haven't recovered.
Oh I know all about the rollercoaster rides we big gals are forced to take under the 'self-esteem logo
BUT - it does get better hunny and you are very pretty - its taken me a long time and you are still young - but learn to like and respect yourself and hold your head high - and the rest gradually gets easier xxxxx
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Old 04-28-2008, 05:30 AM   #208
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Australia is pretty anti fat too. People made my life so miserable. I was often verbally abused, and I even had a beer bottle thrown at me once.
America sounds like the place to live if you are an SSBBW. It sounds as if life would be easier there than anywhere else.

Indeed it is. I miss how easy life was....when the worst thing I had to worry about was chairs with arms. Now I have to worry about who is going to say what, constantly.

I think it is easier to be an FA in the states as well. In line with the thought of this thread...it is easier to get your hands on things that would make a ssbbw more comfy...like sturdy, cheap furniture or a big old car. In this part of the world (UK) Things are made smaller and more flimsy. Somehow Mike has made everything work though. I'm so lucky to have landed such a guy.
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Old 04-28-2008, 05:41 AM   #209
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I can walk, just not very fast and not very often. An FA I dated lived 5 or six blocks from the stop on the subway. The first time I went to his place it was a nice day so we walked. After that he somehow got the idea that we could do this all the time. I told him no, I can't walk it today and he seemed put out that he had to wait for the bus with me. Even for a mobile ssbbw there is the issue of wear and tear. I have to choose my battles and preserve what mobility I have left by taking the easy way out whenever it's available. I have the stamina to do stuff but my body is not in agreement with the repeated trauma so I have to say no a lot. Just because your ssbbw is mobile doesn't mean you can run her ragged. And please don't be a grouch about it. Rebecca touched on it earlier but it bears repeating. Thanks.
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:14 AM   #210
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I can walk, just not very fast and not very often. An FA I dated lived 5 or six blocks from the stop on the subway. The first time I went to his place it was a nice day so we walked. After that he somehow got the idea that we could do this all the time. I told him no, I can't walk it today and he seemed put out that he had to wait for the bus with me. Even for a mobile ssbbw there is the issue of wear and tear. I have to choose my battles and preserve what mobility I have left by taking the easy way out whenever it's available. I have the stamina to do stuff but my body is not in agreement with the repeated trauma so I have to say no a lot. Just because your ssbbw is mobile doesn't mean you can run her ragged. And please don't be a grouch about it. Rebecca touched on it earlier but it bears repeating. Thanks.
You definately have a valid point, I remember when I was without a car at 19 years of age (13 yrs ago), I had a date with a limited mobile ssbbw but because of limited funds as a college student and inexperience; I asked her on a date to Uno's in the village thinking it would be convenient being near the train station.
Though I did not figure that the escalators would be out at it would be 84 steps from the bottom to the surface. My date was not able to do that as I saw her painfully struggle. We went to another station with a working elevator and rode another train back down, though the steps were still an issue as I started to worry if i had enough cash on me.
I felt so bad after she struggled making it up there; I decided to use whatever was left to get a cab to take us back to Brooklyn, which in NY is still not an easy feat (due to obvious reasons).
We wound up breaking up due to personality conflicts, though it made me a better FA over time as I literally would check restaurants for seating, moviehouses for armrests that slide up, applying for Lane Bryant and Catherine's cards in case past indulgence caused certain clothes not to fit etc.
On the flipside, I will say it also has me appreciate a ssbbw who can be in an awkward scenario/situation and not have me feel guilty or inconsiderate for years for doing something sporadically and not fully preparing/planning etc.
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:16 AM   #211
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applying for Lane Bryant and Catherine's cards in case past indulgence caused certain clothes not to fit etc.

Now that is a great idea, lol.
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:23 AM   #212
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Now, I think I need to step in and say a few words about Mr Loggamatt as a few things seem to have gotten lost in translation in that curly-whirly way of the internet.

Ironically enough, he seems to be getting a bit of a beat-down, when he remains one of the ONLY FAs that I know of IRL that DOES actually take note of an SSBBWs need when out and about! I've been out with so-called FAs who drive around in sports cars, whilst Matt has quite a sensible big car (sorry, I don't know car names) big enough for an SSBBW to sit in without blocking the gear stick. He walks slowly enough for one to keep up with, and is automatically concious of bolted down/free standing tables and chairs in restaurants. Beleive me ladies, a LOT of FAs could learn a lot from him.

He's just pointing out - as I would like to as well - that it is a game of two halves. If the FAs flat is too small, or not practical enough for me, I will walk out straightaway and just say lets go to mine. I don't expect him to have re-inforced furniture already, after all, a lot of them wont unless they've lived with an SSBBW before and have the furniture leftover. And thats only if they were allowed to keep it! Yes, they should think about stuff whilst we're out on a date, but I wouldn't comprimise my life, furniture, choice of decor etc just for the prospect of a man, so why should they?

This is just for the dating time though, I think it all changes when you choose to live together. But by that time, he should be trained enough
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Anyway... for all my posts on this thread, please ignore and instead read what Miranda just said about it being a game of two halves (which is a football/'soccer' expression... does that translate for you Americans? lol) as she's put it way better than I have!
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:25 AM   #213
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I used to drive a large bench seated dodge ram, with plenty of room for the ladies. Though it was high enough off the ground i had to help some fat girls up into it; so in that regard i guess oh well. Now I drive a lincoln mark 8, a part of my mind enjoys watching a fat girl squeeze into it.
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:36 AM   #214
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Just weighing in on the Britain being an anti-fat place thing...

I wonder sometimes if a big part of Britain being a place where people shout out fat insults and things in the streets is the drinking culture over here. There seems to be a real culture of people whose idea of a night out is getting drunk, then wandering around trying to cause trouble. I say this because I've had people shout anti-fat things at me in the street before, but only drunk people in the evening... it's never happened to me during the day when people tend to still be sober. Now I've been to the US a few times, and I've never noticed that same behaviour amongst American drinkers... sure, people have too much to drink and get rowdy, but I've never seen gangs of drunk Americans wandering around starting fights and insulting people.

That said, the media is ridiculously size-unfriendly over here which certainly doesn't help. I honestly don't know why Britain is this way... perhaps it's something to do with the celebrity culture, or perhaps we're all just emotionally repressed Brits who let our frustrations out on the nearest fat person! lol

The things being smaller over here thing is easier to understand though. Living space is at a premium in the UK, so buildings are smaller... fuel prices are insane so we can't afford to drive huge cars... furniture is smaller because we can't fit big furniture in our tiny flats.

Don't get me wrong, I love Britain and there are so many things I'd miss about it if I lived in America... but I must also agree that America's a much easier place to live if you're big!

Oh, one last thing... I'm a very uncloseted FA and I've never had any of my friends make fun of me for my preference. Perhaps I'm just lucky enough to have great friends, but I think it suggests that not everyone in the UK as an asshole about BBW and FAs... so there is some hope!
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:41 AM   #215
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You definately have a valid point, I remember when I was without a car at 19 years of age (13 yrs ago), I had a date with a limited mobile ssbbw but because of limited funds as a college student and inexperience; I asked her on a date to Uno's in the village thinking it would be convenient being near the train station.
Though I did not figure that the escalators would be out at it would be 84 steps from the bottom to the surface. My date was not able to do that as I saw her painfully struggle. We went to another station with a working elevator and rode another train back down, though the steps were still an issue as I started to worry if i had enough cash on me.
I felt so bad after she struggled making it up there; I decided to use whatever was left to get a cab to take us back to Brooklyn, which in NY is still not an easy feat (due to obvious reasons).
We wound up breaking up due to personality conflicts, though it made me a better FA over time as I literally would check restaurants for seating, moviehouses for armrests that slide up, applying for Lane Bryant and Catherine's cards in case past indulgence caused certain clothes not to fit etc.
On the flipside, I will say it also has me appreciate a ssbbw who can be in an awkward scenario/situation and not have me feel guilty or inconsiderate for years for doing something sporadically and not fully preparing/planning etc.
Well this is the other thing... the best laid plans of mice and FAs often go awry. For all the planning we FAs do, things like escalators being out of order can really bite us in the ass! lol
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:46 AM   #216
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lol... thanks, free reading lessons are always useful for the intellectually underdeveloped such as myself

Although, it may shock you to know that in this case I had managed to read Melissa's original post in it's entirety. Can I just say now that my post WASN'T directed against Melissa, despite it appearing to have come across that way. Probably because I used the car example to get across my point, as the car example was an easy one. But my problem is not with any particular poster, I just don't like the general idea that men can be graded on how good an FA they are by the car they drive, house they live in, etc etc.

It just smacks of a materialistic outlook on life... 'you're only a real man if you drive a big car with lots of chrome and shiny bits...' whereas I just don't see it as the man's role to have the car, or the man's role to have the house, or the man's role to have the job to pay for it all anymore. My Grandad never learnt to drive, my Granny had the car and drove him to places when he needed to go... I don't think that made him any less of a man.

To be honest, if the SSBBW in question has a car that she drives and is comfortable in, I don't see how the car that the FA drives is an issue at all. Same with apartments... if my furniture is too flimsy, why can't we go to yours?

But, this is just me... I have a fairly modern view of the equal roles of men and women in relationships. I know a lot of people have more traditional views about what the man's responsibilities are and what the women's responsibilities are. That's fine, and if it works for you then great... I'm just saying that I personally would not want a woman to judge my eligibility on what my apartment was like, or what car I drove.

And again, this is not directed against anyone in particular! lol
Just to explain something from my viewpoint...sometimes when FAs are in the closet, the guy will ONLY want to go to your place (God forbid someone see a fat girl at his place...holy shit!!!!) so, sometimes it isnt a want, it is almost a need to be seen as part of his life too....just another way to look at it...i absolutely prefer to have them come to my house, i know the strgnth of my furniture, and dont know yours, but sometimes it is needed to be both ways, cause i am not in the closet and if the guy is, i dont want him anymore, i cant do it again, and i wont!!!!
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:48 AM   #217
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Originally Posted by LillyBBBW View Post
I can walk, just not very fast and not very often. An FA I dated lived 5 or six blocks from the stop on the subway. The first time I went to his place it was a nice day so we walked. After that he somehow got the idea that we could do this all the time. I told him no, I can't walk it today and he seemed put out that he had to wait for the bus with me. Even for a mobile ssbbw there is the issue of wear and tear. I have to choose my battles and preserve what mobility I have left by taking the easy way out whenever it's available. I have the stamina to do stuff but my body is not in agreement with the repeated trauma so I have to say no a lot. Just because your ssbbw is mobile doesn't mean you can run her ragged. And please don't be a grouch about it. Rebecca touched on it earlier but it bears repeating. Thanks.
I love how you put things, you crack me up...and yeah, what she said, i can do it, just dont run me ragged doing it...lol.
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:55 AM   #218
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Just to explain something from my viewpoint...sometimes when FAs are in the closet, the guy will ONLY want to go to your place (God forbid someone see a fat girl at his place...holy shit!!!!) so, sometimes it isnt a want, it is almost a need to be seen as part of his life too....just another way to look at it...i absolutely prefer to have them come to my house, i know the strgnth of my furniture, and dont know yours, but sometimes it is needed to be both ways, cause i am not in the closet and if the guy is, i dont want him anymore, i cant do it again, and i wont!!!!
That's interesting... I'd never thought of it like that. Still, it doesn't take much to catch out a closeted FA... just tell him you'd like to see the town in which he lives and you'd like to go out for a meal there. If he turns white as a sheet and makes an excuse, he's probably not out of the closet
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Old 04-28-2008, 10:03 AM   #219
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Sorry everyone...I'm about to go offtopic for a sec.

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I miss how easy life was....when the worst thing I had to worry about was chairs with arms. Now I have to worry about who is going to say what, constantly.
Donni, I found all your comments very interesting. Like you said, I've always lived as a fat girl in the UK so I don't know any differently. I always assumed attitudes to fat people were the same in the USA, Australia etc. I thought the UK didn't have it so bad, compared to the looks I've encountered and the sizes of clothes sold etc in France and Italy etc. I'm going to US for 2-3 weeks in November and will be spending most of that alone. I don't let my weight stop me travelling places, and I don't mind travelling alone, but I do often find myself listening to music or gritting my teeth as I walk along, waiting for a look or a comment from someone. I'm now feeling so much more excited about my trip, so thanks for that!! Some rep coming your way!

Can't remember who started this topic now, but I'm gonna rep you too. I'm not SS, but this topic has made for really interesting and informative reading.
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Old 04-28-2008, 11:05 AM   #220
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Just to explain something from my viewpoint...sometimes when FAs are in the closet, the guy will ONLY want to go to your place (God forbid someone see a fat girl at his place...holy shit!!!!) so, sometimes it isnt a want, it is almost a need to be seen as part of his life too....just another way to look at it...i absolutely prefer to have them come to my house, i know the strgnth of my furniture, and dont know yours, but sometimes it is needed to be both ways, cause i am not in the closet and if the guy is, i dont want him anymore, i cant do it again, and i wont!!!!
This is a really good point, I've run into this as well. Granted, the thread is geared -- theoretically -- toward guys who wouldn't be in the closet anyhow, but it's absolutely part of the equation. It's not just--mostly--logistics, there can be an element of well, do you want to be seen with me, period, in all this stuff.
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Old 04-28-2008, 11:47 AM   #221
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well i'm much more interested in a boyfriend than a nurse's aide anyway LOL... certainly wouldn't want my man to make me feel like a cause or project rather than his lady

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We don't get much time together with the way things are right now, but in the time we DO have, we find ways to make her life easier without me feeling like a nurse's aid instead of a boyfriend.
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Old 04-28-2008, 11:51 AM   #222
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omg that is horrific!!! I am pretty sure i would've winded up in jail or in the hospital lol

I do my very best to remain ladylike and handle things in a proper manner, but once someone does something like that the gloves come off. I would've had to go psycho/hillbilly on someone lol

I was coming out of a gas station and there was a van full of biker looking dudes (complete with tattooes,head scarves and sleeveless shirts). One of them said something and i walked right over and chastised every one of them and told them how ashamed of themselves they should be. I don't know if they were just so shocked that i did it, or if they actually felt remorse, but nobody said anything and i saw a few hung heads lol

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and I even had a beer bottle thrown at me once.
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Old 04-28-2008, 12:03 PM   #223
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I love how you put things, you crack me up...and yeah, what she said, i can do it, just dont run me ragged doing it...lol.
And there's much to be said for strolling. I love those moments after you've just had a great meal together and you step out of the restaurant into the evening air. You hold hands and just sort of "stroll" to your car. It's so peaceful and I always feel such contentment. What could be better than holding hands with your best gal, leisurely enjoying each other's company and doing it all on a full stomach?
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Old 04-28-2008, 12:23 PM   #224
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Do we really need to keep saying all this is a two-way street--here? In this particular thread? I mean that as an honest question. Maybe we do. I thought it was clear from how the convo went that this was understood--in fact was something of a given. Not a financial litmus test, or a test of anybody's pure FA-ness, just...reality. Life. Some men really haven't yet thought about the fact that if you have a small car and want to take a SSBBW out, it actually won't happen.

Anyhow, two thoughts:

If you're inclined to see this as a list of BBW demands, one thing I keep thinking is that this is in fact a thread that exists because women are willing to be vulnerable. Because somewhere in what's being said is...we need your help. To do certain things/sometimes. We've all had to fight through all these situations on our own too (I'm single, I know I do), but these are some of the needs that arise when you're actually with someone. Articulating all this stuff is really helpful/empowering, but also a little nerve-wracking for that reason.

On the other side...maybe there needs to be another thread with slightly different slant for FAs about the reality of navigating this stuff? Or maybe it's good it's all together, part of the same thing, no need. The only reason I mention that is that the vulnerability that seems to show up here for men--to match the women's--is a fear of letting us down, whether intended or not. You can kinda hear it in what people say.

Excuse my overly-psychological wanderings...not really the point or strength of this thread! Which I am very fond of...there are so many good intentions clear in it.
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Old 04-28-2008, 01:48 PM   #225
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...to get used to dating a SSBBW if you've never dated one before. My current girlfriend is the first girl I've dated who is larger than a mid-sized BBW. I did have some idea it would be a little different, so I tried to plan ahead but still got some stuff wrong.

ok... it might not sound particularly romantic but before she moved in to my house I did stuff like changing the way doors opened in small rooms to create more space, getting a belt extender for my car, strengthening some of the furniture etc.

As has been said many times previously, Its important to plan things and consider seating and any other situation where physical space is constrained. Its not always possible to do this though, especially when attending other people's social events. Sometimes you have to think and act on the fly to make sure that seating will be ok... and if it isnt, to take control of a situation and act quickly and discreetly. This is also true when socialising and faced with travel between bars or clubs. Dont assume that walking a distance that seems easy to you will be something a SSBBW will be comfortable doing. Always try to make sure you have a back - up plan (i.e. taxi numbers ) if the walking option isnt favored. Even better, I think, is to talk about it all beforehand so that its known what is expected before the night begins. This is something I fucked up a couple of times with... I definitely learnt the hard way..!

Aside from the practical considerations are also the emotional ones. The line between being considerate and being condescending can sometimes be a narrow one. I guess that getting this right is essentially as simple as considering your partner as your equal and starting from there... there can still be times where you get it wrong though.

SSBBWs face the same hardships, prejudices and discrimination that are faced by any other BBWs... except sometimes, the fact that SSBBWs are a less common sight can make that discrimination all the more bitter or self-righteous. Be aware of situations where such discrimination or judgement might be a possibility and be ready to be more supportive and affectionate at those times. Hold her hand or put it on the small of her back so that she knows that you are there with her physically....

man, there's a million other little things but when you are in love, all of them probably come naturally anyway... treat the princess that you love as the princess that she is... thats all I can say really
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