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Old 04-27-2008, 07:35 PM   #1
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Default FFAs: what are the intangible attractions of BHMs?

Let me see if I can explain what I'm asking: For those of you (female and male admirers of the large male form) who are attracted to BHMs, are there things besides his size and his fat that you enjoy that seem somewhat specific to BHMs?

Sometimes in some of the threads about what FAs like about BBW/SSBBWs, guys talk about characteristics/scenarios/personality types that they seem to either find more prevalent in BBWs, and/or that enhance their appreciation of BBWs. For example I think last summer there was a thread about how some FAs like what was described as the 'bossy princess type' of BBW.

Other times, some folks talk about D/S dynamics in FA/BBW relationships, or how some FA/BBW relationship seem to highlight and enhance certain 'traditional' ideas about male and female bodies and roles.

Do things like this come into play in your attraction/desire/pleasure for the BHM? I know there are certain characteristics that I personally apply to fat men that I find very appealling, and I'm not sure how to describe it, but in many ways Dan Connor from "Roseanne" fits the type I'm thinking of, with maybe a bit more good natured self deprecation thrown in.

I'd be curious to hear about what else besides his body makes a BHM such a hottie in ya'll's eyes.
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Old 04-27-2008, 09:41 PM   #2
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Ah yes, the "Dan Connor" appeal. Actually, I think that in general, I tend to think of a lot of the BHM I know in real life and on the boards as a variation of that type. Strong, but cuddly, gentle giants, reliable teddy bears, however you want to call it. I just tend to notice that a lot of them, the personality matches the body type. Solid, but with a certain softness or gentleness. Of course, not all BHM are that way and there are thin men with cuddly personalities, but overall, I think of that personality type when I think of BHM. Also, and I know this is a HUGE stereotype, but I DO find a lot of BHM have a really good sense of humor and are funny. So, yeah, they're pretty perfect in general in my opinion.

And in terms of the greater sex appeal(besides the fact that I just prefer how a BHM looks in general), to me a lot of that has to do with a greater sensuality I associate with BHM. The word "indulgence" comes to mind. OK, Dr. P must now go take a cold shower.......
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Old 04-27-2008, 11:57 PM   #3
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Great topic.

Obviously there is the great sex appeal because of their size but I also feel that their size affects their personality in a variety of ways. BHMs generally are more insecure or more inexperienced so I find that they tend to be far more appreciative of the attention you give them. Then because I feel more appreciated, I want to do more for them and it sort of goes in a cyclical cycle. I'm all for feminism and stuff but so often I find myself playing the role of the 1950s Wife. How else can I serve you honey? I find that I am less likely to be taken for granted, less likely to be cheated on, more likely to be paid attention to, and I feel safer and more secure in the arms of a BHM. Plus the rumor is true: fat men are better in bed.
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Old 04-28-2008, 04:04 AM   #4
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If I may...

Aside from being a sexy MF I agree with Dr. P, alot of BHM have a great sense of humor. All of my previous girlfriends have all said that they were attrached to my wonderful sense of humor.
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:52 AM   #5
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Great topic.

Obviously there is the great sex appeal because of their size but I also feel that their size affects their personality in a variety of ways. BHMs generally are more insecure or more inexperienced so I find that they tend to be far more appreciative of the attention you give them. Then because I feel more appreciated, I want to do more for them and it sort of goes in a cyclical cycle. I'm all for feminism and stuff but so often I find myself playing the role of the 1950s Wife. How else can I serve you honey? I find that I am less likely to be taken for granted, less likely to be cheated on, more likely to be paid attention to, and I feel safer and more secure in the arms of a BHM. Plus the rumor is true: fat men are better in bed.
COULDN"T agree much more to this....I love feeding, cooking, laundry for my BHM....he gives me so much physical attention its amazing....he is a little doubtful of my *ReAL ATTRACTION/FAITHFULNESS* to him...duly deserved by me...and I work that hard to let him know how sexy he is and how much I ENJOY HIM!!!!!!!!!

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Actually, I think that in general, I tend to think of a lot of the BHM I know in real life and on the boards as a variation of that type. Strong, but cuddly, gentle giants, reliable teddy bears, however you want to call it. I just tend to notice that a lot of them, the personality matches the body type. Solid, but with a certain softness or gentleness
My first nickname for my new BHM is *GENTLE GIANT* at 6'5 and 400+ he is so tender and kind and gentle and affectionate with me..I have posted his pictrure b4..he looks like a huge menacing biker, but I have found walking in that world, the biggest most threatening looking men are the BIGGEST TEDDY BEARS< but don't let em know I let that huge secret out...THE BIGGER THEY ARE, the HARDER THEY FALL
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Old 04-28-2008, 09:58 AM   #6
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the biggest most threatening looking men are the BIGGEST TEDDY BEARS< but don't let em know I let that huge secret out...THE BIGGER THEY ARE, the HARDER THEY FALL[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT][/B]

You were not supposed to let that one out People that don't know are so scared when they first meet me.
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Old 04-28-2008, 11:17 AM   #7
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I'm totally the 50's mom; I've even dressed like one for years and my BHM hubby says, "Yes, mom" when I get a bit overboard. I'm all about kichen detail and ironing those multiple X shirts.

Sense of humor seems to be fairly constant, as does that cuddly way about them, all I've known have been patient, and when I smile at them, they always readily smile back. Thinner guys will say, "Hi" when they pass me in stores, etc., but never a BHM. Generalizations are well, general - and the exceptions are undoubtly many.
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Old 06-23-2008, 07:53 PM   #8
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'50s mom=Oh. My. Goodness. You're living my dream. *points to avatar*

That said, I love and appreciate so many personality types, I hardly know where to begin. My theme song could be the aria from Don Giovanni, in which Leporello describes all the varied types of women the famous playboy can love. The difference being that I'm no playgirl, just single and looking.

There's the stoic, intellectual, slightly detached scholar who reads in his office all day and expects his dinner on the table at 6:00 sharp. Not a jerk, just business-like, cultured, and a little imposing. It's nice for someone as confident and outgoing as I am to be playing second fiddle for once.

Then there's the funny guy, always telling some crazy story about himself, his friends, or his family. He's very attractive, but a little dangerous for someone as faithful and jealous as I am. I don't like the fact that anyone else at the party can enjoy and appreciate his humor as much as I do!

Last, there is of course the sweet, cuddly teddy bear type. I've actually had the good fortune to have met one of these who is confident enough to flirt with small, cute girls. One of the most delightful moments of my life was the end of a long party, when he quite randomly came over and gave me a big, squishy hug and said how much he was going to miss me.
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Old 06-23-2008, 09:11 PM   #9
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Big ups for the 50's mom stuff also. And the avatar is great.

<3 art deco.
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Old 06-23-2008, 10:21 PM   #10
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It seems that a lot of us BHM's fit into the category that Dr. P and kitty descriibe. I have heard that a lot from my friends about myself. Its nice to know that the way a lot of us are is appreciated. But, don't let our secret out..... We gotta keep our tough guy images too.... LOL
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Old 06-24-2008, 05:29 AM   #11
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Yep "Strong, but cuddly, gentle giants, reliable teddy bears" thats to funny cause I just got that the other day. I very much have the rock'n roller look but after you talk to me for a few seconds its apparently obvious I can be categorized the same way. Actually hummm now that I think about, I don't think I scare anybody away for real; I seem to get hit on everywhere and just about anywhere; from supermarket lines to crossing the street (yeah that really happened).

I'm not helping the stereotype at all either, I'm pretty much a cuddle-slut. If your fun and there is any kind of vibe there at all I'm way to easy to cuddle with...geeezzzz you perv's
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Old 06-24-2008, 04:21 PM   #12
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...geeezzzz you perv's
Wait- you say that like it's a bad thing. I do not understand............
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Old 06-24-2008, 04:44 PM   #13
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Obviously it's cause we got a great rack!
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Old 06-24-2008, 04:48 PM   #14
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Obviously it's cause we got a great rack!
Finally! Someone understands. (Although I'm more into butts myself.)
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Old 06-24-2008, 05:51 PM   #15
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I think for me it is much more carnal. I see a big guy and I automatically think of how strong he is and associate his size with power. Not only are they more attractive to look at but the abilities that come with having a body that big turns me on. Don't get me wrong I'm not big into getting slapped around but something about knowing they could gets me going. When a guy can pick me up or move me with little effort it makes me feel so protected, like he can take on the world for me. You could possibly say the same about a muscular guy but for me the size is a much more literal representation of power.
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Old 06-24-2008, 06:28 PM   #16
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I dunno, I find the Jack Black personality to be really appealing. But other than that, it's really all on the outside. Unless 'forbiddenness' is an intangible quality...
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Old 06-24-2008, 06:33 PM   #17
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One of the biggest reasonthe girls I know like my size is the fact they know they are protected with me, and like it has been said, I can really move them around however I want in bed

See I'm big and strong...


Also, they seem to like to big soft body for snuggling, and hugging. I guess I'm also the "jolly" type, lol, I don't know. I'm always joking, and smiling. Of course I don't know if that has anything to do with my weight, but I know it is sometimes associated with us bigger guys.
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:01 AM   #18
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I think for me it is much more carnal. I see a big guy and I automatically think of how strong he is and associate his size with power. Not only are they more attractive to look at but the abilities that come with having a body that big turns me on. Don't get me wrong I'm not big into getting slapped around but something about knowing they could gets me going. When a guy can pick me up or move me with little effort it makes me feel so protected, like he can take on the world for me. You could possibly say the same about a muscular guy but for me the size is a much more literal representation of power.
Yep heard that before too, today the woman cutting my hair was having a hard time, a very tiny Asian woman who gasped when she found out I was into small women. I told her twice I've had girlfriends who were all of 4'11, she replied "WoW, I'm 4'10" then she asked, "How tall are you Big Guy?"...she looked like she was going to pass out when I said 6'3". Then she admitted she had a thing for "Big Guys" which by this point I don't think she really had to admit lol. She was too cute and I had a lot of fun to flirt with her....oh yeah my point, she asked me if I just picked my little girlfriends up and kissed them? Well of course I do. Thats half the fun. Being able to pick them up and .... yeah kiss them lol.
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Old 12-18-2008, 09:43 AM   #19
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Obviously it's cause we got a great rack!
LOL!

Now, where have I heard this line before....
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Old 12-18-2008, 09:53 AM   #20
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Old 12-18-2008, 10:21 AM   #21
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Obviously it's cause we got a great rack!
*L* Maybe we need a cleavage thread on this board too?
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Old 12-18-2008, 10:39 AM   #22
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*L* Maybe we need a cleavage thread on this board too?
Oh jebus, yes.....I have a heart condition, but what the hell!

ETA: while this topic is back, I just thought of a quality. It may not be common to ALL BHMs, but in my experience, fatter guys don't try to drag me out to places I don't want to go. They don't propose cheesy dates to me, either.

I've had thin guys bothering me to go to friggin mini-putt, bowling, baseball games (I HATE baseball), and all sorts of other crap that I would never do in a million years. My fat bfs have wanted to stay at home and game (LOL...my favourite thing to do!!), go to metal shows, go to movies, lounge around on beaches, get drunk and hit the clubs, etc. Infinitely more fun.
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Old 12-18-2008, 01:06 PM   #23
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My fat bfs have wanted to stay at home and game (LOL...my favourite thing to do!!), go to metal shows, go to movies, lounge around on beaches, get drunk and hit the clubs, etc. Infinitely more fun.
I know you are taken and all, but you wouldn't have a clone perchance?

I met the last girl I was seeing regularly (She didn't like the GF term, strange, but lovely girl...and a fan of the belly, I now realize) at an Into Eternity/Kataklysm show.

I used to 'drag her' to shows (Our last show was me,2 other friends and said young lady driving down to LA for Emperor...Emperor!!! I also bought her those sexy Dimmu Borgir panties...man, I always wanted to have a girl in BM panties...Hehehe), as well as BBQ-Game day at out local game shop. I even got her to join a D&D game...she was a cat chick (Girls...).


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Old 12-18-2008, 04:45 PM   #24
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Melian - i've started dating a gamer and he loves the fact that I dig his chub because he says "gamers are fat, we love bad food and we are more chilled out, so the fact that you are going to be ok with the inevitable is great!" One place he lets go, i mean really lets go, are on gaming nights...it's soooo hot it's hard not to screw the game and screw him instead!!

I love how the BHM i like are more chilled out, our interests coincide more. I LOVE confident bhm, its heart pounding. I love how they like to eat my cooking more than the average guy, and they are more appreciative of the food and my affection. I also find BHM are more into just sitting there and snuggling (and i can do it longer since i don't get bruised). I feel protected and safe and warm...and constantly excited LOL.
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Old 12-19-2008, 11:49 AM   #25
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Melian has ascended what used to be the highest level.Melian has ascended what used to be the highest level.Melian has ascended what used to be the highest level.Melian has ascended what used to be the highest level.Melian has ascended what used to be the highest level.Melian has ascended what used to be the highest level.Melian has ascended what used to be the highest level.Melian has ascended what used to be the highest level.Melian has ascended what used to be the highest level.Melian has ascended what used to be the highest level.Melian has ascended what used to be the highest level.
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Originally Posted by Ichida View Post
Melian - i've started dating a gamer and he loves the fact that I dig his chub because he says "gamers are fat, we love bad food and we are more chilled out, so the fact that you are going to be ok with the inevitable is great!" One place he lets go, i mean really lets go, are on gaming nights...it's soooo hot it's hard not to screw the game and screw him instead!!

I know what you mean - we've settled into a cycle of coming home from work, I make dinner, we eat, one of us games (the other molests the gamer), roles reverse, and then sex ensues Highly satisfying.

A bit off topic, but here's a favourite fat gamer story of mine: I used to date a bhm who LOVED D&D and played it bi-monthly with a group of his old highschool friends. He was a sexy, successful mech eng student...they were a bunch of scrawny, pathetic basement dwellers who had probably never even made conversation with a woman (nice enough guys and all, but wow, no social skills whatsoever).

I haven't played D&D in years, mostly because I don't have the time for the get-togethers or to develop a character, etc. I also liked being DM and REALLY don't have that kind of time. However, the ex and I had a weird sort of BDSM thing linked to gaming; I would end up being a "gaming slave," so to speak. Sooooo...one time, I joined him to his game, wearing what can best be described as a black, latex catsuit, on a leash, which he eventually tied to his belt as I sat in his lap while he gamed.

The looks on those guys' faces were PRICELESS. The DM took a 15 min bathroom break and came back looking tired and ashamed. LOL.

(why am I sharing these things...??)
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