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Old 05-07-2008, 06:55 PM   #26
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erm right ..mel sent mw the lowdown..
i shall now go post.. yay!
xxmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer
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Old 05-07-2008, 07:12 PM   #27
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For me its because I have heard it all my life. From the age of 8, I was put on a diet, told I should be/look more like this one and that one(all thin girls). Peers made fun of me, guys danced with $5.00 bills behind their back at school dances to take the fat chick off their hands. Others asked me out in front of their peers as a joke, or if they did kinda like me for me pretended not to know me when their peers were around. As I went on to high school all the friends I had throughout Grade school and JR high droppped me cause I was the fat chick, and no longer kewl to hang with. College wasn't much better, and if had a dollar for everytime I heard "Your such a nice girl but just don't feel that way about you. I think that you are friend material not GF material." I would probably have some money for a great weekend away! In magazines, store displays, TV, Music album covers(yes I said albums I am old) I saw women who didn't look like me. I had a mother that loathed her fat body, and aunts who felt the same. I had Docs telling me how gross I was,had experiences rejected in jobs cause of my weight, and even when working in a job hassled about my weight in subtile ways. I would venture a guess that most fat women have experienced the same type of programming in their lives which contributes to the origional posters observations.
With alot of work have come to accept and like aspects of my body, own the fact that I am a fat woman and through NAAFA and Dimensions, and then through a great male friend that taught me what other men COULD see in me, I learned to appreciate my body. Do totally love my body? HELL NO! But you know I like most of the things my body can do for me, I take the approach that I can be beautiful in someones eyes(obviously been married for going on 23 yrs) and that some of the things I don't like about my body others do. With all the changes I have and am making I try to be proactive in my approach. I go out with the kids I work with(run a youth centre) in my bathing suit at the pool or beach, have modelled for local plus size clothing stores even lingerie, took nude pics of myself, and entered them in local juried art shows and most of all spoke out for fat peoples rights runnng the Canadian operatons of NAAFA. It takes time for us as fat people to undo the programming we have had for a good many years in our lives. Just as it takes time for anyone having undergone tramatic events in ther lives. Be patient with us, encourage us and support who we are and what we have gone through and we WILL get there if we want it bad enough!


Ruth
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Old 05-07-2008, 07:37 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruffie View Post
For me its because I have heard it all my life. From the age of 8, I was put on a diet, told I should be/look more like this one and that one(all thin girls). Peers made fun of me, guys danced with $5.00 bills behind their back at school dances to take the fat chick off their hands. Others asked me out in front of their peers as a joke, or if they did kinda like me for me pretended not to know me when their peers were around. As I went on to high school all the friends I had throughout Grade school and JR high droppped me cause I was the fat chick, and no longer kewl to hang with. College wasn't much better, and if had a dollar for everytime I heard "Your such a nice girl but just don't feel that way about you. I think that you are friend material not GF material." I would probably have some money for a great weekend away! In magazines, store displays, TV, Music album covers(yes I said albums I am old) I saw women who didn't look like me. I had a mother that loathed her fat body, and aunts who felt the same. I had Docs telling me how gross I was,had experiences rejected in jobs cause of my weight, and even when working in a job hassled about my weight in subtile ways. I would venture a guess that most fat women have experienced the same type of programming in their lives which contributes to the origional posters observations.
With alot of work have come to accept and like aspects of my body, own the fact that I am a fat woman and through NAAFA and Dimensions, and then through a great male friend that taught me what other men COULD see in me, I learned to appreciate my body. Do totally love my body? HELL NO! But you know I like most of the things my body can do for me, I take the approach that I can be beautiful in someones eyes(obviously been married for going on 23 yrs) and that some of the things I don't like about my body others do. With all the changes I have and am making I try to be proactive in my approach. I go out with the kids I work with(run a youth centre) in my bathing suit at the pool or beach, have modelled for local plus size clothing stores even lingerie, took nude pics of myself, and entered them in local juried art shows and most of all spoke out for fat peoples rights runnng the Canadian operatons of NAAFA. It takes time for us as fat people to undo the programming we have had for a good many years in our lives. Just as it takes time for anyone having undergone tramatic events in ther lives. Be patient with us, encourage us and support who we are and what we have gone through and we WILL get there if we want it bad enough!


Ruth
i hear you beautiful sistah..
and believe me, my post was comming from a deep understanding, not only through an empathy of what my bbw friends have been through but also through my own experiences of bullying and not fitting in.
Although i have never been "fat" i was a geeky misfit and also was totally outed in a pretty rough comprehensive school and had to fight ..not only i feel to remain un battered but because i felt that I, and what and who i was, was worth fighting for.
i know that it will take some un doing to slowly break down all the negativity that surounds being fat, be it from the media, bullies, peer pressure and parental pressures.
my main point..(and i guess it has kinna been explored via the "why are you here thred in a reverse kinna way).. that i always thought there should be security in an "in group" even if it was the "out group"..
if i'm honest..it breaks my heart when my partner brings herself down all the time..
i get sad when she see's other big women on tv and says things like "she's disgusting and she looks like me"..or "why the hell is she wearing that when she is so fat".
for the last 15 years or so (with various partners) my weary reply would always be..
"you are so beautiful", "they are so beautiful" , "why shouldnt someone wear what they feel comfortable in" etc etc.. and i have been saying all these things to my current partner..
and although.. i know that she feels comfortable with me.. i know she isnt within herself..
my point.. and i know i really do play devils advocate.. is that i just dont understand,, when someone has been through so much negitivity..would they say negative things about other people for the same reason...
in hating a part of yourself (for whatever reason) you then must transfer that hatred onto others..
i understand it..
but it doesnt stop me from being really sad about it..
xmer
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Old 05-07-2008, 07:48 PM   #29
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Maybe its a "test " of sorts? If I say that person looks like me and I say she is fat, dresses ugly, gross or whatever I am saying it gives you permission to agree. And if you don't agree and say nice things she is for a moment reassured that you DO think she is beautiful, desirable, what you want and need in your life. If you do agree its a gotcha and what she was worried about is confirmed so she can guard her heart? dunno just a theory.
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Old 05-07-2008, 08:01 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by Ruffie View Post
Maybe its a "test " of sorts? If I say that person looks like me and I say she is fat, dresses ugly, gross or whatever I am saying it gives you permission to agree. And if you don't agree and say nice things she is for a moment reassured that you DO think she is beautiful, desirable, what you want and need in your life. If you do agree its a gotcha and what she was worried about is confirmed so she can guard her heart? dunno just a theory.
Ruth
hummm.. well no.. because when she says "she is horrible" etc etc.. and i say.. "no she is really beautiful" she says to me.."you just think that because you are weird! hmm,,
well i hope it is a kinna test.. and i hope i passed and she feels better about herself and other people..
yaaaaaaaawwwwn.. i need to snooze.. its 4am..
thank you for your wonderful posts..
xxmer
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Old 05-07-2008, 08:10 PM   #31
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have ya showed her this board? maybe she won't think you're so weird if she realizes there are lots of people who dig the fat girls

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hummm.. well no.. because when she says "she is horrible" etc etc.. and i say.. "no she is really beautiful" she says to me.."you just think that because you are weird! hmm,,
well i hope it is a kinna test.. and i hope i passed and she feels better about herself and other people..
yaaaaaaaawwwwn.. i need to snooze.. its 4am..
thank you for your wonderful posts..
xxmer
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Old 05-07-2008, 09:07 PM   #32
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listen carefully. my post is NOT ugly. it is honest and real.... i dont know what kinna lala land you live in missus but it sure aint where i live..
The picture i'm painting for your obviously naive head isnt pretty.. these are real experiences from bbw's i know and love.
as for my headline..or "font" as you call it?? "no one hates fat chicks but fat chicks" was obviously a pastiche, an oxymoron ..it wasnt what I thought..
but then if people are too moronic to understand this.. then i shall shrug off thier stupid remarks like a tail when i've been captured!
of course this post is ugly..
its fucking MENT to be!!!
its a disgusting state of affairs..
but if you dont understand what i'm saying... then dont even try to respond.. just go chew a brick or something.
mer
font= a reservoir, in this case a metaphoric one of compassion.

and I was agreeing with you that it's unfortunate when fat women hate on other fat women. It's your histrionics I object to.
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Old 05-07-2008, 11:20 PM   #33
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The only people i have met who dont like fat women are fat women themselves.
I'm not talking about "fat acceptance" in society i.e whether an employer would favour a thin person over a fat person..etc.. i'm talking about everyday scenarios and body acceptance.
How can this be true? Just the other day I was reading one of your posts where you talked about people looking at you funny when you declared that you like fat girls.

This would seem to mean that not everyone, in fact, likes fat women.

Also, have you tuned in to the developments over at the "Why Are You Here?" thread?

I'm not sure you can play devil's advocate against an established, avowed facts.
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Old 05-07-2008, 11:35 PM   #34
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mergirl, you are just bananas.
Maybe she's bananas liqueur, if you know what I mean? Wink-wink. Nudge-nudge.

mergirl, I agree, I generally like you. Just, mmm, if you could tone it down a notch. After reading this thread, I wondered if you'd taken your medicine for the day. No offense, dudette.

Rock on. Good to know someone out there likes fat chicks. Just cut us a break and act like you like us. We get a lot of shit to begin with. And as people have said, there are many fat women who love their bodies. You just need to look for 'em and know how to catch 'em.
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Old 05-07-2008, 11:57 PM   #35
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Mer!! Don't change a bit, don't tone down, don't take your medicine, I think its obvious you meant no offence, and any over sensitive ..people who did, well .... so what.

You're so refreshing and fun and so very very Glaswegian, lol! My GOD How offended would some of the people here be if they were sat in a Glasgow pub just having a chat with people!
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Old 05-08-2008, 12:07 AM   #36
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My GOD How offended would some of the people here be if they were sat in a Glasgow pub just having a chat with people!
hahaha! You think I'm offended! lol

No, just sitting in my room in the U.S. and responding to some crazy, likable girl's thread. That's allowed, isn't it?

Glasgow pubs sound niiiiiiiiice. How offended some people there would be, though, if they spent a day in New York City walking around interacting with peeps! For rizzle my shizzle, yo.
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Old 05-08-2008, 12:26 AM   #37
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Mer!! Don't change a bit, don't tone down, don't take your medicine, I think its obvious you meant no offence, and any over sensitive ..people who did, well .... so what.

You're so refreshing and fun and so very very Glaswegian, lol! My GOD How offended would some of the people here be if they were sat in a Glasgow pub just having a chat with people!
Spirited discussion is great, as long as it does not dissolve into calling people, right off the bat, stupid and naive. Ummmm, this isn't a pub, and if it is..the service is sloooooow. I am still sitting here with an empty space where a drink should be.
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Old 05-08-2008, 12:56 AM   #38
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hahaha! You think I'm offended! lol

No, just sitting in my room in the U.S. and responding to some crazy, likable girl's thread. That's allowed, isn't it?

Glasgow pubs sound niiiiiiiiice. How offended some people there would be, though, if they spent a day in New York City walking around interacting with peeps! For rizzle my shizzle, yo.
It wasn't actually you I was referring to ....
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Old 05-08-2008, 01:05 AM   #39
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i gotta agree...i like her that way hehe

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Mer!! Don't change a bit, don't tone down, don't take your medicine
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Old 05-08-2008, 01:09 AM   #40
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It wasn't actually you I was referring to ....
Dude! I thought it was me who'd brought up the medicine (jokingly, of course ).

No. My bad. Thought you were referring to me.

So you know, though, one of my first boyfriends was from Glasgow.
Just saying, yo!
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Old 05-08-2008, 02:23 AM   #41
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wow, I so want to live in the world you live in where I dont get shouted at for being a "fat bitch" "massive cow" both of which have happened in the last MONTH.

Last edited by Pookie; 05-08-2008 at 02:24 AM. Reason: edit... because its not worth it...
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Old 05-08-2008, 03:00 AM   #42
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have ya showed her this board? maybe she won't think you're so weird if she realizes there are lots of people who dig the fat girls
haha..no. i would love her to come on the boards and have told her all about the people i have chatted to over the years...shes just not into it i totally wish she was cause i know everyone here would make her feel a lot better about herself.. plus she doesnt have internet!!!! whats that all about!! this is why i dissapear for a week at a time!! i'm so working on that though..!!
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Old 05-08-2008, 03:03 AM   #43
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font= a reservoir, in this case a metaphoric one of compassion.

and I was agreeing with you that it's unfortunate when fat women hate on other fat women. It's your histrionics I object to.
ahhh like a font that you put babies in in church.. ahh i see i see... erm ok,,, fair enough ..you are entitled to your oppinion..i'm not goint to argue cause i'm not drunk anymore!! lmao
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Old 05-08-2008, 03:12 AM   #44
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How can this be true? Just the other day I was reading one of your posts where you talked about people looking at you funny when you declared that you like fat girls.

This would seem to mean that not everyone, in fact, likes fat women.

Also, have you tuned in to the developments over at the "Why Are You Here?" thread?

I'm not sure you can play devil's advocate against an established, avowed facts.
yawwwwn! right..of course.. there are some people who ARNT fat chicks who dont like fat chicks either.. there are skinny chicks who dont like bannanas and there are medium sized people who dislike cock...tails..
i shall say this only once more...
the post was about women hating themselves and being overtly critical of themselves..
i really couldnt give a flying fuck through a rolling doughnut what anyone thinks about my post because its what i think and its true.. and it started a discussion, which is always a good thing..
erm as for the other post ..yes i have seen it.. and i think everyone is over reacting to some stupid gossip... i can understand that people might be sensitive to what was being said but i really dont know why the hell that relates to my post!!
anyway.. thanks for "generally" liking me.. i can now sleep at night.. i generally like me too..
xxmer
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Old 05-08-2008, 03:13 AM   #45
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Dude! I thought it was me who'd brought up the medicine (jokingly, of course ).

No. My bad. Thought you were referring to me.

So you know, though, one of my first boyfriends was from Glasgow.
Just saying, yo!
and btw.. are you a gangstah rapper from the ghetto? cause you sure shizzle a lot of nizzles fo shu yo!? lmao
xxmer
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Old 05-08-2008, 03:18 AM   #46
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mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
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Originally Posted by Ruby Ripples View Post
Mer!! Don't change a bit, don't tone down, don't take your medicine, I think its obvious you meant no offence, and any over sensitive ..people who did, well .... so what.

You're so refreshing and fun and so very very Glaswegian, lol! My GOD How offended would some of the people here be if they were sat in a Glasgow pub just having a chat with people!
awwww thanks ruby... i dont think i could change even if i tried! lmao..
i KNOW..haha..there is actually a pub across the road from me at the mo (i'm in partick) called the clyde valley and i swear there are people outside already drunk and having a wee argument!! and its like just after 11!! lmao..
yeah..convos in Many Glasgow pubs can be.. erm very heated and to be taken with a pinch of salt!
i think they should open a real Glasgow pub in the states..complete with Glasgow kisses, and buckfast! lmao
xxxmer
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Old 05-08-2008, 03:25 AM   #47
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wow, I so want to live in the world you live in where I dont get shouted at for being a "fat bitch" "massive cow" both of which have happened in the last MONTH.
OK.... one more time everyone....
I'm not saying that fatophobia doesnt exist!!!!
help ma boab!
my title perhaps should have been reconsidered... but i was saying that:
its awful when big women are disparaging of other big women and themselves..
i'm sorry to hear that happened to you.. it sucks..though.. YESTERDAY...
i got called "HAT" (because i was wearing a hat) SERIOUSLY!!
anyway..this is the last time i'm defending this post .... cause i think i raise a valid point..and i have explained that i am not an evil baw hell bent on making you all cry..
i am a fat rights activist actually.. and were i to have been there when you were called those names i would have used my romany curse magic opon the perputrators.. or just kicked them in the baws!
xxmer
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Old 05-08-2008, 03:46 AM   #48
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mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!mergirl keeps pushing the rep limit!
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Originally Posted by Ruby Ripples View Post
Mer!! Don't change a bit, don't tone down, don't take your medicine, I think its obvious you meant no offence, and any over sensitive ..people who did, well .... so what.

You're so refreshing and fun and so very very Glaswegian, lol! My GOD How offended would some of the people here be if they were sat in a Glasgow pub just having a chat with people!
oh lmao !! seriously.. the pub debate is totally heating up!!
some heroine "chique" looking girl in a shell suit is shouting at this wee man "ive been doon the fuckin brew"! and he is all drunk and shouting too...
ahhh glasgow.. i really should work on the scottish tourist board! lmao..
erm,.what i really mean is that i am looking out my window onto lochness where nessie is eating a haggis and there is a wee man playing bagpipes.. etc etc
xmer
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Old 05-08-2008, 04:57 AM   #49
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Red has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Red has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Red has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Red has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Red has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Red has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Red has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Red has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Red has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Red has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Red has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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oh lmao !! seriously.. the pub debate is totally heating up!!
some heroine "chique" looking girl in a shell suit is shouting at this wee man "ive been doon the fuckin brew"! and he is all drunk and shouting too...
ahhh glasgow.. i really should work on the scottish tourist board! lmao..
erm,.what i really mean is that i am looking out my window onto lochness where nessie is eating a haggis and there is a wee man playing bagpipes.. etc etc
xmer
Sadly I cannot rep you again, but so far your input on these board has pretty much made me giggle my socks off daily. Ta very much love!
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Old 05-08-2008, 05:08 AM   #50
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Sadly I cannot rep you again, but so far your input on these board has pretty much made me giggle my socks off daily. Ta very much love!
awww..thank you.. i would rep you too but i havnt worked out how to yet!!??
glad you are giggling barefoot, tis the only way to giggle i feel!
though i fear i give some people "the rage"!!!
xxmer
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