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Old 02-19-2006, 01:04 AM   #1
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Default Too small clothing (no, this isn't feeder related)

So, I went out to a bar/club tonight with friends. As it happens, its a primarily lesbian bar, so BBWs dancing the night away was not an uncommon sight, nor were BBWs in situationally appropriate clothing that was fairly revealing. One girl I noticed (who was, strictly speaking, straight; not that i'm one to judge on the count, but she was their with an apparent boyfriend so I'm mentioning), was wearing low-riding jeans that were a couple sizes smaller than what might have been comfortable on her. She was also wearing a short-cut shirt which, also, a couple sizes smaller than what might be intended. She's not an SSBBW, more in the mid to low 200's, though I'm awful on estimating numbers. Never understood what gets some guys off about numbers. At any rate, she's distinctly fat and the clothing that's she's chosen has the effect of basically leaving her pot belly on display. Not just a little peak, either. We're talking 50% and more on a regular basis.

Now, I'm not going to judge such attire. You want to wear it, its not place to say no. And indeed, when it comes to BBWs wearing such clothing, I've really got nothing to complain about. What I don't get, is that she seemed to spend most of the night tugging her shirt down and hiking her pants up. I honestly cannot understand how someone could wear an outfit such as she was, and not get that the significant baring of midriff and more was an eventuality. Do people really look at themselves in the mirror and rather than get a total view of how the outfit will look, they just look to see if it'll look okay at one very specific angle and take that as validation?

I've got no problem if you want to show off your pot-belly, but I don't get how you wouldn't forsee this. I mean, honestly, her outfit was going in the wrong direction on two fronts, and wasn't even close to fitting in a way that would leave her belly anything but exposed. It reminded me of men who think comb-overs look good. Looking a way you're okay with from one very particular angle in the mirror is a far cry from actually looking like that in the wild. I guess it just amazes me that some people don't seem to have grasped the dyamics at play here. I can understand the tugging when the belly is just seen a little and may have genuinely been unforseen. But for this young woman to not see how completely far the outfit was from fitting is just puzzling. Does such a person really just delude themselves into seeing the split-second the outfit seems to fit as being representative? Do they want to show off their body, but then have second thoughts when they are out? Its not the only time I've seen a woman tugging in vain at clothes that wouldn't remotely fit. Just wondering what goes on with it.
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Old 02-19-2006, 01:10 AM   #2
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This reminds me of a few years ago with an ex. I was wearing a very revealing top. I felt sexy, loved it. First thing he did was say, "It looks more like lingere." Then, at every angle that indicated my breasts had sides, he would freak out and whisper in a panicked tone, "Your breasts are hanging out!" He was ever so pissed when I stated I didn't care since we were at a damned club. Really, it was more about him being embarassed about a fat woman dressing sexy.
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Old 02-19-2006, 01:37 AM   #3
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Some of us FAs who are embarrassed are that way not because we don't want to see stuff hanging out, but because we don't want to invite pejorative commentary from the peanut-brain gallery.
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Old 02-19-2006, 01:58 AM   #4
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Thumbs up Revealing one's flab

I love seeing a beautiful BBW in v low-cut jeans that expose a hanging soft belly!

Actually, I love doing it too - then pretending I don't notice the disgusted reactions (yes, a stranger's disgust is a major turn on). Tight low cut jeans, a too small white - or pale colour - T-shirt, a slim pretty face and a MASSIVE flabby body... And if the girl smiles too and looks confident - well, major rush...



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Old 02-19-2006, 02:52 AM   #5
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You know what I think it is? We get dressed to go out and we *want* to look sexy and we *believe* thats our right, so we pick something thats a bit risque and when we try it on we stand in front of the mirror holding ourselves up with perfect posture, chest out, butt out, stomache in, chin out, shoulders back and we think, ya, SEXY! and then we leave the house and all of a sudden it doesn't feel so sexy anymore. Maybe the jeans actually slide down when we dance - sit, move even lol, or the mildly cleavage baring top in the mirror becomes a gaping portal at the restaurant in a seating position - and those sexy high heels are uncomfortable as hell for anything longer than the minute we had them on the house... ya, I totally get this.
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Old 02-19-2006, 06:13 PM   #6
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I too have seen this; as well as experiencing it myself.

Those new jeans that have stretch in them.....they can be deadly if they are not the right size slipping way down..I've had my husband snap my thong many a time. I believe I have it down to a science now.

There's also the "I feel sexy" but then people staring and gawking and whispering starts...well I don't feel that sexy anymore....and God help you if your in the bathroom and someone says something to you. Suddenly you are not feeling the sexy vibe anymore.

It takes someone "Uberconfident" to not let that bother him/her!

So, for me...I would tell her she looked beautiful...no matter what my opinion is of her outfit.
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Old 02-19-2006, 07:33 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TallEnglishman
(yes, a stranger's disgust is a major turn on).

um.. ok.. you really have to explain this cuz i've NEVER heard that before and certainly NEVER felt that way before
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Old 02-19-2006, 07:37 PM   #8
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I personally enjoy seeing women who are confident enough to show a little belly. It's quite a turn on to me.
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Old 02-19-2006, 07:58 PM   #9
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I think I understand what you're getting at here... more a question of "If something is going to bug the hell out of you and you're going to be tugging it in both directions all night and it's not covering most of you, why did you wear it?"?

If I'm understanding you... I've done it many times. I get a cute shirt or a new pair of pants, and I try them on and they're great... no problemo! I get dressed, head out the door, and within 100 feet, or maybe 10 mins later... something is going horribly wrong. Shirt is windowshading up my belly with every step, or the pants aren wiggling down my butt with my strides. Before I know it, I'm holding the shirt down as I walk because it's so annoying or I'm pulling up the pants, etc.

If it's a shorter skirt, it's 100 times worse. Every step makes the back move up higher and higher, then I'm holding it at as level so I can make it to my seat and not bother with it anymore.

It's possible the girl you encountered just had a poorly orchestrated clothing night which ended up annoying her to death once she was dancing.

I think that sometimes the line between sexy/small/tight and insanely small tight is very slight and you might not realize it until you're actually LIVING in the outfit. If I've completely misunderstood the post, forget everything I typed.
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Old 02-19-2006, 09:27 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickletsBBW
um.. ok.. you really have to explain this cuz i've NEVER heard that before and certainly NEVER felt that way before
I'm surprised, ChickletsBBW. It's cropped up a lot on feeder boards: the strange kick from outraging people with our flab!! I'm not saying it's for everyone, of course not, but I think it's the transgressiveness of it that is such a turn on...

Anyone else get a kick out of "disgusting" people with the way you dress/look? Or am I completely on my own here???



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Old 02-20-2006, 04:55 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NFA
It reminded me of men who think comb-overs look good.
LOL! Brilliant metaphor.

As a guy, I would put a big difference in dressing sexy and revealing, and just dressing slutty.

A woman who can dress properly and still show off all the goodies is a billion times more attactive then a woman who just wears clothes just to show skin.
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Old 02-20-2006, 05:26 PM   #12
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I think you slightly misunderstand me. Its not so much, why'd you wear something if it would bug you as it is wondering how this eventuality did not occur to her. Like I said, she wants to show her belly, I'm not going to object, but seriously this was an outfit that if it had any capacity to not show her belly, it was very limited. I mean, there were other fat girls sporting outfits that intentionally or not showed off part of their bellies. The young women in question, however, had almost her entire stomach hanging out. I'm quite certain this isn't what she thought she was getting, but it seemed to me like an awful lot of delusion would be necessary not to have seen that. I can understand when its a game of inches. I can see someone just not seeing that it would work out like this if it was just a little gap. Honestly, she could have posed for a pay-site pin-up in the outfit she was wearing. The only useful purpose it had was leaving 4-8 inches of her stomach exposed. Living with women and seeing the level of thought that goes into so many decisions, I just don't understand the lack of foresight on this. I really can just think that she posed until it looked okay and decided that validated it, inspite of every other evidence.
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Old 02-20-2006, 05:52 PM   #13
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Frankly, the only issue I have with the outfit you describe is that it's too bad she wasn't comfortable in it. I think it takes a lot of strength, self confidence, and self pride in her choice to dress that revealing. I have always been very attracted to bbw's who enjoy dressing in that manner...as long as their inner beauty matches their outer beauty. And I would hope to find someone like her. People who do not know her should not make value judgements about her solely on the way she is dressed. But sadly it happens to anyone who doesn't look "normal" in the mainstream. It's like I say about any other style of dress or appearance someone might find distasteful or offensive....if it bothers you, don't look!
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Old 02-20-2006, 05:56 PM   #14
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Ah, I see now.

Let's compare a guy getting ready for a special dinner and a woman.
A guys, shaves, gets some non wrinkled clothes, slaps on some deoderant and he's done.
Women... oi.... hair, make up, looking at a closet full of clothes and saying "I have nothing to wear"

When it comes to women getting ready, I have no idea what goes through their head. I've tried, and I don't think its posible for a guy to totally understand..... though I could be wrong.
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Old 02-21-2006, 02:45 AM   #15
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I've done it many times, loved the look of the outfit, then put it on looked in the mirror and hated it on me. So sometimes if i'm getting rather angry i won't look in the mirror and delude myself that it looks like it did in my head. LOL then i catch a look of myself later and think "OH FUCK!"

Or sometimes I'll wear something that fits and looks good but then a few hours (or even when i get far enough from my house not to be able to go back and change) then it'll start slipping, riding up and what not and i'll spend all night tugging at it.
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Old 02-22-2006, 08:57 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CurvyEm
I've done it many times, loved the look of the outfit, then put it on looked in the mirror and hated it on me. So sometimes if i'm getting rather angry i won't look in the mirror and delude myself that it looks like it did in my head. LOL then i catch a look of myself later and think "OH FUCK!"

Or sometimes I'll wear something that fits and looks good but then a few hours (or even when i get far enough from my house not to be able to go back and change) then it'll start slipping, riding up and what not and i'll spend all night tugging at it.
Ah. So if you had time to find the right outfit and time to test it out a bit, you wouldn't be caught tugging at your clothes?
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Old 02-22-2006, 11:30 PM   #17
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I can't recall who said it, but there is a saying, "Some of the worst situations I've lived through never happened". I went with Kat to my reunion. She was wearing one dress which had her welling up a bit in it, looking like she might spill out at an odd angle.

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Old 02-23-2006, 08:20 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pickleman357
Ah. So if you had time to find the right outfit and time to test it out a bit, you wouldn't be caught tugging at your clothes?
Well possibly not. If i've just given up and decided to wear something that looks good in my head then i'll possibly be tugging it when i realise i've got half my rolls on display.
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Old 02-23-2006, 08:34 AM   #19
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I was also deeply in love with a man who wanted me to go out in a tube top. I had to tell him "You first."

I don't do discomfort/inconvenience. That outfit would have gone in the trash can when I got home.

That said, my son's girlfriend has gained a lot of weight in the last year, and is convinced she can still wear the size she did two years ago. I see her tugging at her clothes all the time, and it makes me miserable.
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Old 02-23-2006, 10:56 AM   #20
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It may not be a matter of thinking she can wear the same size, as it is refusing to deal with the weight gained. One of my roommates has put on a great deal of weight in the last year and does the tugging thing whenever her stomach hangs out of her clothes (which is inevitably). She's refusing to buy new clothes, though. Or, at least no more than she absolutely needs to for work. With her, I know its not because of self-delusion, but a conscious refusal to take the steps necessary to be comfortable in her body. I don't even think she's even thinking about it as a she just hopes it goes away. She really just doesn't want to confront the issue. She knows there is an issue, but she has no interest in deal with it, prefering to stay inside most of the time with her stomach hanging out as she ineffectively tries to cover it with shirts and pants that fit 80lbs ago.

(of course, she's repeatedly dieted in the same period that her weight's gone up; meanwhile, I've done nothing at all to manipulate my weight and I've lost about 10lbs in the same time period)
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Old 02-23-2006, 11:04 AM   #21
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If I hadn't heard the "I've gained 60 pounds" story with different ending such as 1) In the last year, 2)Since I started dating your son (less than 6 months ago), and 3)Since high school (she's a college senior)....yeah, maybe.

Also, much as I enjoy cooking good food, hearing someone go throw it up and then fill up another plate, kinda ruins my appetite (her whole family is bulimic, and fat hating).

Honestly, I don't know what to do to help her, and she means a lot to my son and to me. So, I just love her and tell her how beautiful she is (she's one of the most striking young women I've ever met).
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Old 02-23-2006, 12:34 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jane
Honestly, I don't know what to do to help her, and she means a lot to my son and to me. So, I just love her and tell her how beautiful she is (she's one of the most striking young women I've ever met).
Take her shopping and buy her some new clothes that actually fit her! Hopefully she'll see how good she looks in em and update her wardrobe.
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Old 02-24-2006, 10:06 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pickleman357
Take her shopping and buy her some new clothes that actually fit her! Hopefully she'll see how good she looks in em and update her wardrobe.
She works two jobs, I work one, I rarely see them even though we're just an hour and a half away.

I will do this, though. Plus, I have a friend in the same town who we'll take with us. She tells it EXACTLY like it is, but does it in such a fun, lovely way that few people catch on to her total honesty. She's a breath of fresh air.

And Thank You, pickleman, you are exactly right.
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