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Old 06-19-2008, 10:29 AM   #1
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I have watched a young lady in my community go from a very active "big girl" to one that is struggling to get around. I first noticed her at an outdoor event, in only lycra shorts and sport bra, her huge bare belly was barely contained in those shorts. As the years went by, she continued to get bigger and bigger, she was making some FA or feeder very happy. Over about 8 years she has come close to doubling her size.

I recently run into her at a bbq, where she she struggled to move around in a wheel chair. She did try to get some food for herself, but it was very difficult for her to lift herself out of the chair to get to where the food was. Her size also made it difficult to reach the table where the food was located, her huge belly is now bigger than the reach of her arms. Someone noticed her having problems, and fixed her plate for her piling it high with food. She stuffed herself back into the wheel chair, and it took two friends to push her to the covered area.

This is my first experience of seeing someone reach the mobility limit, and sad to see.

Just wanted to express my thoughts....
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Old 06-19-2008, 10:40 AM   #2
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Not to sound wrong:

I think that is sad, but somebody that fat would be very sexy!
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Old 06-19-2008, 10:52 AM   #3
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Old 06-19-2008, 11:04 AM   #4
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Indeed....many s are needed
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Old 06-19-2008, 11:20 AM   #5
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Originally Posted by Roy C. View Post
I have watched a young lady in my community go from a very active "big girl" to one that is struggling to get around. I first noticed her at an outdoor event, in only lycra shorts and sport bra, her huge bare belly was barely contained in those shorts. As the years went by, she continued to get bigger and bigger, she was making some FA or feeder very happy. Over about 8 years she has come close to doubling her size.

I recently run into her at a bbq, where she she struggled to move around in a wheel chair. She did try to get some food for herself, but it was very difficult for her to lift herself out of the chair to get to where the food was. Her size also made it difficult to reach the table where the food was located, her huge belly is now bigger than the reach of her arms. Someone noticed her having problems, and fixed her plate for her piling it high with food. She stuffed herself back into the wheel chair, and it took two friends to push her to the covered area.

This is my first experience of seeing someone reach the mobility limit, and sad to see.

Just wanted to express my thoughts....
Is it what she wants?
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Old 06-21-2008, 08:21 AM   #6
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He simply expressed a thought in the Fat Sexuality forum. Is a response consisting of nothing but five doh's helpful?
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Old 06-21-2008, 09:48 AM   #7
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I think any SSA with a conscience has pangs of guilt when we observe the limitations and infirmities almost inherent to extreme size. It's why I personally have issues with feederism, quite frankly. Ultimately however it's not my position to judge what someone chooses to do with their body. It would be arrogant and condescending of me of me to presume someone isn't aware of the risks of tobacco, alcohol, heroin or food. Any addiction is dangerous but people have the right to choose those risks. I certainly won't buy their heroin for them but that doesn't absolve me from showing other compassion. I can be considerate without condoning the damage someone inflicts on themself. I can be respectful and supportive and even love someone who's choices I may disapprove of.

Acceptance, truly unconditional acceptance of another human being, is challenging, confronting, sometimes painful. It's what we all want though and it's hardly fair to expect from others what we can't or won't provide for them.
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Old 06-21-2008, 10:06 AM   #8
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I think any SSA with a conscience has pangs of guilt when we observe the limitations and infirmities almost inherent to extreme size. It's why I personally have issues with feederism, quite frankly. Ultimately however it's not my position to judge what someone chooses to do with their body. It would be arrogant and condescending of me of me to presume someone isn't aware of the risks of tobacco, alcohol, heroin or obesity. Any addiction is dangerous but people have the right to choose those risks. I certainly won't buy their heroin for them but that doesn't absolve me from showing other compassion. I can be considerate without condoning the damage someone inflicts on themself. I can be respectful and supportive and even love someone who's choices I may disapprove of.

Acceptance, truly unconditional acceptance of another human being, is challenging, confronting, sometimes painful. It's what we all want though and it's hardly fair to expect from others what we can't or won't provide for them.
Just wanted to point something out: tobacco, alcohol and heroin are all drugs. Obesity is not a drug, merely a description of weight. You'd have been better saying food.
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Old 06-21-2008, 10:27 AM   #9
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Just wanted to point something out: tobacco, alcohol and heroin are all drugs. Obesity is not a drug, merely a description of weight. You'd have been better saying food.
You're quite right. Edited accordingly. No excuse other than I was in a hurry. And I don't really want to imply all SSBBW have food addictions either. I was really thinking more about the type of situation Roy was describing where someone continues to gain in spite of mounting health/mobility issues. I've witnessed this on several occasions and it seems even the best intended efforts to intercede only exacerbate the situation.

Whether food becomes a surrogate for approval, anxiety amplifies appetite, whatever, I can't say. I just know criticism and kibitzing never seem to change things for the better. Hoped to maybe save Roy from going down that tunnel or thinking he should have.
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Old 06-21-2008, 01:15 PM   #10
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He simply expressed a thought in the Fat Sexuality forum. Is a response consisting of nothing but five doh's helpful?
What if I'd described a scenario in which I watched a friend or family member suffer from a life-threatening illness, and I witness her falter, shrivel into a hollowed-out husk of what she once was, lose her hair from chemo, develop sores all over the areas of her body targeted by radiation ...

... and the response I got was, "Wow .... that's sad, but bald heads are *so* sexy!"

Do you think that the respondant would be missing the point, to an extent that it's extremely offensive?
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Old 06-21-2008, 03:04 PM   #11
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He simply expressed a thought in the Fat Sexuality forum. Is a response consisting of nothing but five doh's helpful?
What if I'd described a scenario in which I watched a friend or family member suffer from a life-threatening illness, and I witness her falter, shrivel into a hollowed-out husk of what she once was, lose her hair from chemo, develop sores all over the areas of her body targeted by radiation ...

... and the response I got was, "Wow .... that's sad, but bald heads are *so* sexy!"

Do you think that the respondant would be missing the point, to an extent that it's extremely offensive?
The answer is no, a statement with five doh's isn't helpful in the least.

You haven't changed his mind, you haven't changed the mind of anybody (that I'm aware of) who can blindly look past physical ailments to see the fat that they so adore; all you've done is once again show that yes, you're offended. I don't blame you in the least, I totally understand that you are, but if you're intending to do some good here, I'm not sure that a smiley-laden condemnation will quite do the trick.

It's not helpful, it's not useful, but it doesn't have to be, if that's what you want.
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Is it what she wants?
It may be, but as evidenced on collared princess/Treasure Bombshell's post over on the paysite board, that's still not enough in some cases; even if somebody has a particular desire, the followup is often "well you're wrong for wanting that, and here's why."
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Old 06-21-2008, 03:06 PM   #12
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It may be, but as evidenced on collared princess/Treasure Bombshell's post over on the paysite board, that's still not enough in some cases; even if somebody has a particular desire, the followup is often "well you're wrong for wanting that, and here's why."
Yeah, it goes that way a lot, however...

It's her life, her choice, ultimately.
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Old 06-22-2008, 12:41 AM   #13
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The answer is no, a statement with five doh's isn't helpful in the least.

You haven't changed his mind, you haven't changed the mind of anybody (that I'm aware of) who can blindly look past physical ailments to see the fat that they so adore; all you've done is once again show that yes, you're offended. I don't blame you in the least, I totally understand that you are, but if you're intending to do some good here, I'm not sure that a smiley-laden condemnation will quite do the trick.

It's not helpful, it's not useful, but it doesn't have to be, if that's what you want.

It may be, but as evidenced on collared princess/Treasure Bombshell's post over on the paysite board, that's still not enough in some cases; even if somebody has a particular desire, the followup is often "well you're wrong for wanting that, and here's why."
Nah, Treasure's situation is different....she's got a kid to take care of.

Sounds like the OP's friend is on her own with another man, as much as she appears to be suffering, if there is an F/A involved than this could be what she wants.
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Old 06-22-2008, 11:46 AM   #14
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You haven't changed his mind, you haven't changed the mind of anybody (that I'm aware of) who can blindly look past physical ailments to see the fat that they so adore; all you've done is once again show that yes, you're offended. I don't blame you in the least, I totally understand that you are, but if you're intending to do some good here, I'm not sure that a smiley-laden condemnation will quite do the trick.

It's not helpful, it's not useful, but it doesn't have to be, if that's what you want.

It may be, but as evidenced on collared princess/Treasure Bombshell's post over on the paysite board, that's still not enough in some cases; even if somebody has a particular desire, the followup is often "well you're wrong for wanting that, and here's why."
You're right, Wagimar. It's always about the fat adoration with some people. It's never about anything else ... like, showing some respect for basic humanity, fat body aside. Oh, and I never once said (or implied) that *anyone* is wrong for wanting a fat man or woman. There's a world of difference between that being a preference, and that being a fetish (which will often completely override care for the person occupying the fat body).

I do thank you for the self-righteous lecture, though. *That* did a lot of good. Changed my mind. How could I have ever been so wrong?

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Old 06-22-2008, 11:52 AM   #15
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Dude, what if she wants to be immobile or whatever? Seriously, some people want that.
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Old 06-22-2008, 12:13 PM   #16
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The point is it is not called for for you to pass value judgement on others. That simply makes you look like a member of the Harper Valley PTA.

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What if I'd described a scenario in which I watched a friend or family member suffer from a life-threatening illness, and I witness her falter, shrivel into a hollowed-out husk of what she once was, lose her hair from chemo, develop sores all over the areas of her body targeted by radiation ...

... and the response I got was, "Wow .... that's sad, but bald heads are *so* sexy!"

Do you think that the respondant would be missing the point, to an extent that it's extremely offensive?
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Old 06-22-2008, 12:54 PM   #17
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The point is it is not called for for you to pass value judgement on others. That simply makes you look like a member of the Harper Valley PTA.
You know....my mother and grandma used to sing that at random intervals all the time growing up and I haven't heard it in a while.....thanks a lot for bringing it back to my attention lol
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Old 06-22-2008, 01:00 PM   #18
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He simply expressed a thought in the Fat Sexuality forum. Is a response consisting of nothing but five doh's helpful?
I think that the five doh's expresses the very real frustration that a good number of people feel in response to such comments. He is free to express how he feels, and TJ should be free to do the same. We don't have to like what each other says, but we do have to recognize and accept the fact that there are dissenting viewpoints.
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Old 06-22-2008, 01:21 PM   #19
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I think that the five doh's expresses the very real frustration that a good number of people feel in response to such comments. He is free to express how he feels, and TJ should be free to do the same. We don't have to like what each other says, but we do have to recognize and accept the fact that there are dissenting viewpoints.
Good point

The title of the thread was about CONCERN for this woman...and it turned into sex talk again. I think THAT part is what astounds so many...sure being sexual is good...but does EVERYTHING have to be about sex? Even when the OP expressly made the thread about CONCERN for the problems someone is having from weight gain?

He didn't post pics of a wheel chair bound woman and ask "is she sexy?" .... he apparently wants to discuss the DOWN SIDE of weight gain. So why can't we do that in this thread?

Oh, and the Harper Valley PTA wasn't showing concern over Barbara Eden...they hated her for being herself. I think caring about and showing empathy for the struggles of another woman is a far cry from the jealousy of the HV PTA. No one here was expressing jealousy....just amazement at how emotionally detached some people are when it comes to their sexual desires.
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Old 06-22-2008, 02:47 PM   #20
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Well, there's a health board for talking about concern. This is the sex board. Crossover talk is the bastard child nobody wants so you're going to have to put up with a little from wherever you decide to post it.

The fact is we don't know this woman and it's not our place to judge her, put feelings in her head, or words in her mouth. We can speculate all we want, but what it boils down to is all we have to go on are a few descriptive words from one guy. What really frustrates me is how people can't look at this without inserting their own feelings.

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I think that the five doh's expresses the very real frustration that a good number of people feel in response to such comments. He is free to express how he feels, and TJ should be free to do the same. We don't have to like what each other says, but we do have to recognize and accept the fact that there are dissenting viewpoints.
Right on, sister! Vive le difference! (apollogies to the french)

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Old 06-22-2008, 08:20 PM   #21
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You're right, Wagimar. It's always about the fat adoration with some people. It's never about anything else ... like, showing some respect for basic humanity, fat body aside.
Absolutely agreed, and I get that you don't like that - hell, I'm not crazy about it either, but:
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The point is it is not called for for you to pass value judgement on others.
The issue then becomes the balance between free expression and censoring undesirable members of a community - I would imagine that there are those who despise the thought of being admired in a situation where they're in discomfort. So when somebody appears that would gladly be turned on by the size while blatantly ignoring the other issues, the smackdown comes.
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Oh, and I never once said (or implied) that *anyone* is wrong for wanting a fat man or woman. There's a world of difference between that being a preference, and that being a fetish (which will often completely override care for the person occupying the fat body).
I never said (or implied) that you said or implied such a thing, and I haven't seen such comments in this thread; you have nothing to defend here.
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Originally Posted by TraciJo67 View Post
I do thank you for the self-righteous lecture, though. *That* did a lot of good. Changed my mind. How could I have ever been so wrong?
Point taken; I was busy trying to tell you that you just can't tell some people anything.
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Originally Posted by sweet&fat View Post
I think that the five doh's expresses the very real frustration that a good number of people feel in response to such comments. He is free to express how he feels, and TJ should be free to do the same. We don't have to like what each other says, but we do have to recognize and accept the fact that there are dissenting viewpoints.
Yes. Very much so.

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Originally Posted by Green Eyed Fairy View Post
The title of the thread was about CONCERN for this woman...and it turned into sex talk again. I think THAT part is what astounds so many...sure being sexual is good...but does EVERYTHING have to be about sex? Even when the OP expressly made the thread about CONCERN for the problems someone is having from weight gain?
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Originally Posted by Totmacher View Post
Well, there's a health board for talking about concern. This is the sex board. Crossover talk is the bastard child nobody wants so you're going to have to put up with a little from wherever you decide to post it.

He didn't post pics of a wheel chair bound woman and ask "is she sexy?" .... he apparently wants to discuss the DOWN SIDE of weight gain. So why can't we do that in this thread?
So much to reconcile! No, everything doesn't have to be about sex, but in a board that's designed for expression of things people find sexy about fat (including but certainly not limited to the disability aspects of extreme weight or weight gain), it's probably misplaced.

As I tried to put forth, some people just don't give a damn as long as they get off, and no amount of argument is going to convince otherwise - the battle then is over whether to let the "some people" in question speak as they please, or to drive them away so we don't have to deal with the problem anymore.
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Originally Posted by Totmacher View Post
The fact is we don't know this woman and it's not our place to judge her, put feelings in her head, or words in her mouth.
In fairness, that's not what happened here; what happened here is that someone was judged who spoke up with a controversial opinion.
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Originally Posted by Totmacher View Post
What really frustrates me is how people can't look at this without inserting their own feelings.
I can already tell you the response you're going to get: "It's a discussion board on the internet, why shouldn't we discuss anything we like?" True, but sometimes it's a matter of picking your battles.

I would say that either way, we could possibly lose somebody based on this thread; either the person who feels that nobody cares that they have concerns ("Well fine, I thought you guys were all about size acceptance, not fat fetishism"), or the person who feels that they can't safely state what they think is attractive because of the inevitable backlash ("If I want to jack it to someone who's so fat they can't move, that's my business!"). Do we want to choose sides in this and only keep people who can balance the arousal with the thinking, or do we want to be all inclusive and try to educate, rather than demean?
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Old 06-22-2008, 08:25 PM   #22
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I think part of the problem is where this has been posted. The weight board was supposed to be a sort of haven for those who like weight gain and what have you-- I think this thread would be better placed in the general discussion.

Whatever happened to "dealing" with criticism in the weight board? Isn't that why we had the split...?
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Old 06-22-2008, 08:29 PM   #23
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Well, for one thing, it's really only the Erotic Weight Gain subforum that's being protected from outside criticism (based on the fact that AM's GUIDELINES thread is only there, and not blanketed over the entire Weight Board). Also, it's still being dealt with for the moment, since it hasn't devolved into a "Feeders are horrible people" vs "weight gain is hot no matter the consequences" debate. Yet.
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Old 06-22-2008, 08:29 PM   #24
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It is in the general area for just that reason. The EWG subforum is the more strict area... he started this with a pro/con/troubles tone, so the general discussion area of the WB is where it's best served.
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Old 06-22-2008, 08:29 PM   #25
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Yeah, what she said.
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