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View Poll Results: Are you aroused by any of these?
I'm aroused by embarrassing aspects (not fitting, breaking things) 296 61.80%
I'm aroused by struggles (being out of breath, sweating) 207 43.22%
I'm aroused by disgusting things (hygiene issues, farting, etc) 53 11.06%
I'm aroused by painful things (not being able to walk far/well, that she's on medications, etc) 64 13.36%
I'm aroused by total immobility. 97 20.25%
I'm aroused by none of the above. 131 27.35%
Other. Explain if you want. 40 8.35%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 479. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-26-2008, 10:32 AM   #26
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Ripley, since when has farting been a disgusting issue of size? Really. Or hygeine "issues"? Aren't there as many skinny people who fart and don't wash, as there are fat people?

Farting isnt disgusting, its a natural occurence, and there are people turned on by everything. I find your use of the word disgusting to be strange, and don't feel it's helpful at all. All it does is stamp your opinion on your own made up poll.

I see some people here being disgusted, offended and apparently "scared" of the fact that people are turned on by the things in this poll. Consider this - your next partner might be turned on by all of those things, but you'll never know, specially if you show that attitude. Why would anyone be scared or disgusted or offended by the thought that another person is turned on by any of the things in the poll? If someone gets aroused by hearing/smelling a big rattly fart, or by thinking of a woman so big she struggles walking, will it hurt you? Will they infect you with some disease? Does it mean they aren't a wonderful person, kind and generous, and considerate?

We're not talking here about taking a person and stuffing them til theyre immobile in reality, then poking them to make them fart, all for sexual gratification. We are talking about turn-ons and/or fantasy. I'd bet my life that some of the most outraged here, have a fantasy that they'd NEVER admit to, to anyone.



I admire the people here who have contributed to the poll honestly.

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Old 06-26-2008, 10:33 AM   #27
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I've run across fart porn featuring skinny people.


At this time I must note I was NOT looking for it. It found me.
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Old 06-26-2008, 10:42 AM   #28
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Originally Posted by bexylicious View Post
Also lest not forget, you are aroused by what you are aroused by. You cannot choose it, it is an involuntary reaction. I would never judge for what turns an FA on, only if it was acted upon in a way that hurt themselves or others would I pass remark.
I want to second what Bexy said, and add that it is entirely possible to be turned on by something at one level, but still to discourage it and even seek to avoid it.

Iím going to use an example from personal experience, not because Iím so great or my experience is such a great illustration, but just because it is the one thing that I can know absolutely. When my wife was at her heaviest she would be breathing fairly heavily after a couple of flights of stairs, and was probably noticeably slowing down on the last half flight. It turned me on, serving both as evidence of how much heavier she had gotten over the years, and as a non-visual evidence of how fat she was (multi-sensory input = good!). But I knew that was not something she wanted, nor did I really want her to have a harder time getting around. So it would be a turn-on when it happened, but at the same time it would make me concerned, and helped reinforce that I needed to really support her in lifestyle changes that would help her get to a place where she was happier and better able to zip around.

Does it still appeal as a fantasy? Yes, most certainly. Iíve certainly imagined sometimes what it would be like if sheíd gained thirty more pounds from that point instead of losing them, and part of the appeal is imagining a little bit of waddle entering her walk, struggling more with stairs, and so on. Do I actually want that to happen? No, definitely not. (For what it is worth, I also fantasize about being 100 pounds heavier and really struggling with getting around myself. Also something Iím choosing not to pursue in reality. But if I did choose to do so, and if my wife enjoyed witnessing those struggles (she wouldnít, but for the sake of argument), would that be wrong of her, when it was something Iíd chosen for myself? I think that is a harder question).

Moving away from FA issues, I think a lot of people, or at the least a lot of guys, have a lot of desires or fantasies which they realize should stay in their head. Some of the stuff that has come out from friends over the years, and even relatives and co-workers that Iím not so close with, is kind of frightening in some waysóare we all perverts with almost criminal desires, different from the Marquis de Sade mostly in the nature of our desires but not in the grotesque scale to which they can run? On the other hand it is kind of heartening, because so far as I know, none of these guys have let their less pleasant desires and fantasies run amuck.

Which, if you look at it another way, is not so different from a lot of being human. I want that shirt, I donít want to pay for it, but that doesnít mean I try and steal it. Iím in a strange-to-me city for probably the only time in my life, but when I get to the airport I still tip the cabbie. I donít tell that person on the bus what I think of them. And like all of that, I like to see a woman struggle under her weight, but I donít want anyone to have to struggle to get around, and I donít encourage it.

I will say though that I do get nervous sometimes about guys who show up here looking for support for some specific fantasy. I think sometimes they are trying to convince themselves that it is OK to pursue it, even when they know better. I often think that driving them away just encourages them to try again elsewhere, while trying to explain why it is not OK might help them improve the completeness of their moral map. Maybe a vain hope, but it seems like it is worth trying. And do we owe any less to ourselves, to try and understand these issues and better understand how to deal with these desires?
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Old 06-26-2008, 11:34 AM   #29
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Default I don't post often, but when I do I go off....

I'm just wondering why it has to be about something "painful or disgusting."

Firstly, I agree with the point made earlier that just because a person can or could be turned on by something, it doesn't necessarily mean that they always are or always will be. I suppose its possible for a human being to sexualize any situation or circumstance at any given time. That doesn't necessarily make one a pervert or sexual deviant.

Secondly, I feel like part of the fat admiration/fat acceptance thing is looking beyond the "negatives" of fat and appreciating the beautiful things about it. To be sure, a person's weight is going to have an effect on the way they live and carry themselves, such as the way they walk, the way clothes fit them, the way they "fit" into the environment around them.

Without going into the psychology of what makes a person become aroused by things that are painful and or humiliating, lets for the record state that such things are not relegated to FAs by any means. In fact I would say that there is much more of the sadomasochistic stuff evidenced in regular or "mainstream" erotica than there is in our little world here. Being an "FA," a fat admirer is just that... it is the admiration of fat and all the things that go along with it.

The Fantasy to Concern thread got me to thinking about a post I made quite a few years ago, in which I was reminiscing about a girl I knew in college, who in four short years of school went from being a very curvy and voluptuous young lady to being so plump and round she had a tough time walking across campus without having to stop and rest. Now as sad as it might be for some of us to think of someone so young dealing with a mobility issue of sorts, I have to confess that I was very attracted to this woman... not only for the way she looked (the fact that she was a confident and sexy bbw who continued to dress in mini skirts and low-cut tops as her weight escalated certainly did a lot to catch my eye!) but also the way that she walked. She had a pronounced "waddle" her ample curves bouncing sensuously with each step.

My thought process was never "Wow, look how much she is struggling! She's in so much pain, thats hot!" In fact you would never have thought those things to look at her, because she always seemed to have a smile on her face when I saw her, like she was just loving life. My thoughts when I looked at her was "Man, she sure is sexy and gorgeous, and I sure love the way she moves." Her walk was a part of being as fat as she was, it was a part of who she was.... and she was beautiful.

Likewise, I'd never be so arrogant and self-centered as to say "Please don't lose weight. Stay fat and get fatter, because I really like it and I like the way you walk." Because I am just barely smart enough to realize that it has nothing to do with me... it's all about the woman! Or in other words, the one whom I am admiring.

Other things like tight fitting clothes, squeezing through tight passages, or bumping into people and things because of your size are just some of the realities of being fat. They can be considered (thought not mutually or exclusively) arousing as an indicator of how fat a person really is, and not as something that is painful or humiliating.

As a matter of fact, one might even say that feederism/foodeeism has more to do with the love and admiration of fat and the food that allows one to be fat than it does with humiliation or control as many negators of such would contend. I suppose it all depends on the perspectives of the individuals involved in said behavior.... food for thought anyhow.

Of course like anything, these thoughts and attractions can be taken to extremes. The debate over whats a "healthy" sexual fantasy and an "unhealthy" one is one that we will never truly come to consensus on here. And again, the psychology behind arousal by means of inflicting pain, humiliation or certain bodily functions (farts, scat etc) is something that runs deeper than fat admiration and should not be associated with fat admiration in any capacity.

In closing, no one can deny that there are negatives involved with weight and weight gain, particularly as we age. That young woman from my University days who so beautifully and elegantly carried her weight around in her early twenties may very well be suffering from back and knee problems (or worse, God forbid) now that we are a decade-plus removed from college; a thought which should give no caring, sensible or otherwise humane individual any pleasure. Or who knows, perhaps she managed to get her weight under control enough to be able to retain her mobility and live a healthy and fully-functional life... there's no reason to think that she wouldn't. (I'm afraid I might never know for sure as I have no idea where she is today.) In any case, it all comes down to the way you choose to live your life. You can be trim and slim, fat and happy or anywhere in between in this life, and let's stop burning each other at the steak for having love for any and all who fall under any of these categories.
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Old 06-26-2008, 11:52 AM   #30
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I've run across fart porn featuring skinny people.


At this time I must note I was NOT looking for it. It found me.
how the HELL did that happen lol!
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Old 06-26-2008, 12:10 PM   #31
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I've run across fart porn featuring skinny people.


At this time I must note I was NOT looking for it. It found me.
Well, *I* run across poop porn involving 2 skinny lesbians. The disturbing part is that it was NOT accidental.

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Old 06-26-2008, 12:11 PM   #32
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I find it arousing to watch my husband as he struggles, sweating and out of breath, while he's working away at some physical task (including making love to me, k). Certainly he's in better shape than me, and it takes much less physically for me to begin sweating and breathing heavily ... but why does anyone need to label this arousal as something negative, painful or disgusting?

Arousal ... it's a body's physical response to stimuli. It's natural. If you're (the general you) squeamish about what turns somebody else on, then you should look to your own self for answers to what's wrong with that.

In light of the judgmental tone of the title of this thread, and of several subsequent posts, I, too, applaud those who've answered with candor.
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Old 06-26-2008, 12:12 PM   #33
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Well, *I* run across poop porn involving 2 skinny lesbians. The disturbing part is that it was NOT accidental
would that be the one EVERYONES attention was drawn to in the lounge not too long ago, that has burned my corneas forever??
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Old 06-26-2008, 12:17 PM   #34
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would that be the one EVERYONES attention was drawn to in the lounge not too long ago, that has burned my corneas forever??
yes, that was mainly my fault.

i think someone even made a support group thread
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Old 06-26-2008, 12:28 PM   #35
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I might be taking the original question in a somewhat different direction, but while I wouldn't say I was or am attracted to humiliating things happen to my girlfriend or watching her struggle with things, I was and am definitely attracted to her response to them. We work at the same place, and one day a coworker was giving her a hard time about her weight, and while it was an embarrassing situation, especially since other people were around, she handled it so well that I realized I was attracted to her. And then after that I would notice how she handled embarrassing things like people giving her crap or not being able to fit well somewhere, or how she did things that were physically hard for her, and I was (and still am) turned on in a way by handled them.
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Old 06-26-2008, 12:33 PM   #36
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I might be taking the original question in a somewhat different direction, but while I wouldn't say I was or am attracted to humiliating things happen to my girlfriend or watching her struggle with things, I was and am definitely attracted to her response to them. We work at the same place, and one day a coworker was giving her a hard time about her weight, and while it was an embarrassing situation, especially since other people were around, she handled it so well that I realized I was attracted to her. And then after that I would notice how she handled embarrassing things like people giving her crap or not being able to fit well somewhere, or how she did things that were physically hard for her, and I was (and still am) turned on in a way by handled them.
thats quite nice actually. seems like what you are saying is you are attracted to your girlfriend's gusto, strength, determination and spunk.
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Old 06-26-2008, 12:34 PM   #37
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These are wonderful reasons to be attracted to a woman.

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I might be taking the original question in a somewhat different direction, but while I wouldn't say I was or am attracted to humiliating things happen to my girlfriend or watching her struggle with things, I was and am definitely attracted to her response to them. We work at the same place, and one day a coworker was giving her a hard time about her weight, and while it was an embarrassing situation, especially since other people were around, she handled it so well that I realized I was attracted to her. And then after that I would notice how she handled embarrassing things like people giving her crap or not being able to fit well somewhere, or how she did things that were physically hard for her, and I was (and still am) turned on in a way by handled them.
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Old 06-26-2008, 01:11 PM   #38
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I think this can be a good thread as long as we remember that we may not hear answers we like and that's OK lol

Being that i have a website, i get tons of requests for things of this nature. Men want to hear how life has changed as a result of having gained weight and what have you. A large number of them are turned on by things that i used to do but am no longer able to do. Things i used to be able to fit into and am no longer able to fit ..such as clothes, doors and such. Also that i now waddle and am out of breath with ordinary activities. I've probably heard it all lol
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Old 06-26-2008, 01:11 PM   #39
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Okay, so using the category names "negative", "painful" and "disgusting" may have been a mistake; I'm not about to beat Ripley up for it - it keeps the poll options reasonably brief; that's not the POINT, how we refer to them, the point of this poll is to find out how many are turned on by such things (and not that you HAVE to be turned on by them EVERY time, as some of the first posters felt the need to point out, but that you are or are not turned on by them; it's a yes or no question!).

I'm frankly a little disturbed by all the accusation; this is merely an opportunity to learn something about the populace here. If that turns you off, that's nobody's business but yours.
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Old 06-26-2008, 01:23 PM   #40
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I think that all of these are OK within the right environment...ie it's CONSENSUAL and the girl is happy (and gets a sexual kick out of it.)

My girl has put on some weight lately (OK, alot) and I admit I get off on her being lazy and gluttonous. When I actually tell her she's lazy, she replies "Well, I LOVE it." and asks me to get her some chocolate from the kitchen.

In this case, laziness is OK. It's the same as the force feeding dilemma- if the girl wants you to, then it's OK (then it's not actually force feeding, but hey )

None of this creepy murderous killer feeder stuff the tabloids try portray us as!

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Old 06-26-2008, 01:29 PM   #41
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Okay, so using the category names "negative", "painful" and "disgusting" may have been a mistake; I'm not about to beat Ripley up for it - it keeps the poll options reasonably brief; that's not the POINT, how we refer to them, the point of this poll is to find out how many are turned on by such things (and not that you HAVE to be turned on by them EVERY time, as some of the first posters felt the need to point out, but that you are or are not turned on by them; it's a yes or no question!).

I'm frankly a little disturbed by all the accusation; this is merely an opportunity to learn something about the populace here. If that turns you off, that's nobody's business but yours.
I don't think anyone's really beating anyone up here... things have remained pretty civil in this thread thus far. The Fantasy to Concern thread seemed to be getting a bit hostile, which is probably why I opted to post here rather than there. In any case, it seems like people are just being open and honest with their responses without being overly accusatory.

I agree that it's good to have a dialog about such things, bearing in mind that the questions posed in the poll at hand only give a partial picture to what attracts people to these varying aspects of fat admiration. And yes, I think the inclusion of words like negative and painful make an assumption into the reasons why someone might be aroused by certain things; as if the only reason someone might get turned on by some sweating or heavy breathing is because they enjoy watching someone suffer. lol

But whatever.... good thread, good talk.
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Old 06-26-2008, 02:01 PM   #42
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I am aroused by BBWs struggling with physical activity and being out of breath and sweating on a few different levels for a few different reasons.

Part of it is as TraciJo67 suggested that I enjoy observing the movements of a fat woman, especially a confident fat woman. The physics of fat movement fascinate me. Observing the kinetics of fat, whether it is squeezing though a tight space, waddling, or bouncing, is arousing for me.

As for being out of breath / sweaty, first of all these help indicate to me in a "mulit-sensory" way (thanks Ed) that my partner is fat. The look of a fat feminine form arouses me, the feel of the fat arouses me, the movement of it, the sight and feel of sweat of exertion on a neck or brow, the sound of fat slapping against fat, the sound of heavy footfalls, the sound of labored breathing from exertion, and the feel / sound or a large body getting into bed beside me. All these do two things: remind me that my partner is fat and arouse me.

Ok, three things. The other reason I find a fat girl who is sweaty & out of breath from non-sexual physical activity attractive and arousing is that it reminds me of sexual physical activity. Sometimes it reminds me in an intellectual way, but more often it reminds me in a very primal way. As Risible mentioned, this kind of sweaty exertion it damn sexy.

On a less related note, but still on topic, I'd like to mention that I used to find the idea of immobility or near immobility a turn on. It's much less of an impetus now, but the idea of having a woman while lie around lazily while I dote on her and wait on her (bringing her food, more blankets, the newspaper, heck anything) is something that is very arousing for me. I suspect this is partially a feeder tendency, but also partially arousal in the laziness in itself, and partially a desire to be a "manly provider." To be clear, this laziness gets less arousing after a while, but it is fun for a time if both parties play along.

I hope I don't offend anyone with this post, I am merely voicing my own personal response to the poll. I don't mean to imply that the posters I referenced share my views completely, simply that they said things with which I agreed.
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Old 06-26-2008, 02:13 PM   #43
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First off.....good thread Ripley! I am always really interested in this kind of stuff, the mind of the FA absolutely astounds me, I love learning all this stuff...... am so intrigued to actually read some real answers to the actual poll instead of people sweating the small stuff about descriptive words!!!!

Im sure Ripley used the phrases 'disgusting' 'Painful' and 'negative' because, lets be honest guys, in the society that we live in they are deemed exactly as those things.......farting, burping etc are deemed as taboo's for a reason......yes we all do it, but in light of using them for sexual gratification they are taboo, hence the markers in which Ripley has used. I also reckon (please dont anybody get offended if Im wrong) that in terms of the FA visual to those kinds of things, thats how they would come across, its kinda like the pleasure pain theory isnt it.....we like them, but we shouldn't like them.

LOL, I know what I mean anyway, but again, good thread, Im jus looking forward to reading some real insight...... Wrestling Guy, loved your post, I experienced something like this quite recently.

I met up with a guy (whom is an FA) recently.....id jus got back from my holiday with a really bad cold and cough. I got to his and you have to walk up about 4 flights of stairs until you get to his place. By the time Id got to the top, I was puffing and panting and really struggling to breath, it happens usually anyway but this time it was really bad because of the cold. Later on in the evening he admitted to me how sexy he thought that was, knowing that Id struggled with those stairs.....I just giggled and thought it was really funny, and then proceeded to tell him about how Id broken my bed a couple of days before....its amazing how with an FA these kind of things are pillow talk, when to a normal guy he'd be running out the room screaming! lol

That is all
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Old 06-26-2008, 02:26 PM   #44
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I cannot see the outcome as anything other than, "Ewwww...!! Those slimy demented FAs are into THAT?!!? Gross. Humiliating. Cruel. Evil." Hence, given that FA fantasies are generally attacked and nuked, a leading poll seems like shooting fish in a barrel. And no, Ripley, it doesn't mean I hate you. But I do wonder what legitimate reason you might have to ask.
You know, it's funny, normally I would hate to see a poll like this. I'm one of those FAs who sees something that could put the whole issue in a possibly negative light and I usually go off and spend yet more time worrying about how big of a monster I am. BUT, for some reason, I'm actually kind of glad to see it here. First because it quantifies things and it is a poll so not everyone will have to post to be represented and it does get the issue out on the table. Also, it makes me feel a little better to see what things the other FAs are attracted to as well. I do feel the title of the poll was judgmental, but I actually think that's one of the things that needs to be addressed more in this community in general. There is often a disconnect between the way FAs see what attracts them and how BBW and BHM feel about the same issues. I think a lot of FAs are aware of this. I think it's where a lot of the guilt comes from. It's the reason WE use the word monster to describe ourselves more than the BBW/BHM ever would. But I also think a lot of the BBW/BHM don't understand that for a lot of FAs there are differences between fantasy and reality and between reality and what you would actually do in a certain situation especially with someone you care about. As painful as this discussion may end up, hopefully people will be respectful and we may actually get some of our collective demons as a community dealt with. I hope people take it in that light. I think it could help if that is the case.
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This IS the stuff that's lurking around the corner every time arguments about feederism, immobility, and horny FAs pop up; having a place to discuss it is NOT a bad thing, and I dearly hope this thread is NOT closed, as it's an issue that no longer needs to be hidden away.
I couldn't agree more. I think this needs to get out in the open more. Not so us FAs can feel "safe" but so that there can be some more understanding on all sides.

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Also lest not forget, you are aroused by what you are aroused by. You cannot choose it, it is an involuntary reaction. I would never judge for what turns an FA on, only if it was acted upon in a way that hurt themselves or others would I pass remark.
Absolutely. I'm a woman and I can say even I can physically tell the difference between something I find attractive visually and something I find arousing visually. And believe me, some of the stuff I find arousing, I really wish I didn't but there is nothing intellectual about the process when it happens. What I choose to do with that information sent to my brain is what makes the difference to me.

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My only true experience with this involved a girl that I lived with for roughly 2 1/2 years...
I think wrestlingguy has done a great service to this thread by replying so early with such honesty. Thank you. As we know, the first few posts can make or break a thread. And I also think there's a lot to be learned from WG and edx's responses. These two are, from what I know of them on the boards, two of the undisputed good guys. Kind, thoughtful, gentlemen and sincerely dedicated to BBW causes and concerns, to making better FAs and to size acceptance. So, if these two can admit to having turn ons that fall on this list, maybe the answer isn't that all FAs are creepy or scary. Maybe the answer is that fantasy and arousal shouldn't be considered so frightening. There really is a difference, as both men's stories indicate, in what you think versus what you do about it. They made different choices in different situations and one is attracted more to the emotional struggle while one is not(I think I understood that right WG, my apologies if I didn't) but the point is, both made decisions that ultimately were about their concern for their partner as a person. WG can't change that he found the loss of control sexy, but he NEVER mentioned wanting to manipulate or control her to stay a way she didn't want to be. I can understand people's concern on reading a story like his, but if you take a deep breath and read it carefully, there is actually no cruelty there. He didn't say he turned around and sought out another relationship exactly like it, he admitted he struggled with his attraction and so did she and that ultimately it ended the relationship. There's pain there, but no cruelty. At least that's how I see it. The truth is it happened to her and he was there and he can't change or help what his reaction was to the circumstances. It just is what it is. In my opinion, it doesn't make him a bad person. What would do that was trying to always put someone in that position or ONLY enjoying the struggle and never once thinking about her. I got the impression he was concerned for her(he said he consoled her), he just couldn't change the actual reaction he had. There can be a disconnect between your sexual brain and your human, thinking brain. There really can be. I doubt she mattered less to him as a person all of a sudden. And as for edx, he went against his own arousal and chose in favor of his wife's happiness. Isn't that all you could ever ask for from any partner about anything? That they value your happiness, no matter what may be going through their brain sometimes. It seems unfair to hold everyone's thoughts and fantasies against them if they are actually in reality wonderful partners. It doesn't mean some dark desire is lurking waiting for the moment when the FA can "strike." Our fantasies are our fantasies. Lots of people have fantasies from time to time involving people who aren't their partner, but that doesn't make them adulterers if they still stay monogamous and enjoy their life and sex life with their actual partner. An FA can have desires or fantasies that they would never act on and that they may never want to. I know I have fantasies I would never want to see happen in reality to someone I cared about. Which brings me to this and my actual answer:

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Originally Posted by TraciJo67 View Post
To put it another way (hopefully more clear), would you derive the same pleasure from watching a woman of equal proportion doing the same things ... the only difference being, she's happy and comfortable with her size and with the accommodations that she must make in order to get around?
For me personally, the line you're describing is my boundary. I may find something exciting as a fantasy, but wouldn't want to see it in reality. Or I may enjoy seeing something in reality if it's there (say a big man getting out of car) but either the arousal ends if I see the look of frustration on his face, or more importantly, I might not want to see someone I cared about and knew reach that state themselves. Does that make sense? It doesn't mean I totally dehumanize the fat man I see randomly in the parking lot, but it does mean I just see him and move on, the way any woman might check out a hot guy and then get on with her day. But if I was with someone who was struggling and frustrated, that would not turn me on. Although, I do not think that makes me a better person than someone who does get turned on by the struggle itself. I'm sure they can't control it. And I only learned my own boundaries from personal experiences. But for me, it's the actual physical movement of a large person doing certain things, it's not the struggle itself (emotionally or in terms of discomfort and things) that I find arousing, it's purely the visual. Also, I find men attractive over at least a 250 pound weight range and that covers everything from smallish BHM to super size and the truth is, I am attracted to different things depending on the man's size. And I do not find one more or less attractive than the other. I would never want, let's say, a 280 pound man to get bigger so that he would waddle for me. In fact, I personally(and this is not judging, I'm just explaining my personal thoughts as an FA) would not be very comfortable in a feeder/feedee/gainer relationship because I don't like the idea of a partner changing to please me even if it is only in the implied way that feederism has. I do find feederism exciting, but my personal comfort level would keep me from entering an honest to God feeder/feedee relationship. It's one thing if a partner gains weight because they like to eat, but the idea of me somehow being part of it doesn't make me comfortable. But I can understand that there are others who feel differently and I don't think for a minute that they are monsters. As long as it is what both partners want then I don't see the problem, as long as they stop once someone doesn't want it any more. Again, boundaries.

But I think in terms of this board, it is good to be able to discuss fantasy without being attacked all the time. I know a lot of people get angry when FAs say things like I'm about to say, but this is not in any way trying to compare anyone's struggles or pain. But the truth is, some of us are dealing with these issues all the time, or went through periods where we had to. We sometimes feel like monsters. This is not the easiest way to feel about yourself. It's not. This is not to say, "poor FAs" and I know there are unrepentant horndogs, but there are sensitive FAs and normal, caring, loving people who are FAs and maybe get turned on when someone gets winded. That doesn't change any of those other aspects of them. They aren't suddenly less loving, or caring, although apparently many would say they are less normal once they admit to their fantasy. I guess I'm just trying to say that an FA can be a good person and someone who would be great to be in a relationship with even if their fantasies or turn ons aren't always exactly what the fat people feel comfortable with. But it doesn't mean we're all secretly getting off on your pain or that if one of us does he/she doesn't feel bad about it. Again, these are the issues that I think are at the heart of a lot of FA guilt even among those who don't like any of the things listed in this poll. Because let's face it with society's negative attitude to fat, there's a certain emotional struggle involved for a lot of fat people just about being fat. Or there was at some point in most fat people's lives. Yet, finding fat people attractive in general isn't seen as monstrous here, so why should some of the things on that list make a person out of hand a monster. And I DO understand being upset by someone who does enjoy the humiliation aspect, but once again, is it something they seek out or something they wish they could change about themselves too? I can't answer for FAs like that, but I would guess if it's someone who wishes they could change it about themselves but can't, well, I'm guessing being in a relationship with that person would feel no different than being in a relationship with me or anyone else who doesn't find that appealing. Many people, male and female are able to make decisions and distinctions about their behavior. Many people would never choose their fantasy over a partner's happiness. I know there are FAs who just care about getting off, but their fantasies are often shared by the FAs who are interested in real relationships too. And I think if everyone is discussing FANTASY it shouldn't suddenly make it seem that even the good guys are monsters because they admit to liking certain things sexually that may seem odd or scary to some. Many of us are very human and pretty decent as people and we're not all ticking time bombs of depraved perversity waiting to undo the fat people who cross our paths. I know that's not what anyone here is trying to say, but to FA ears, that is often what it sounds like. I know, we say things that make the fat people feel less than human too sometimes, so, again, not looking for sympathy, just trying to be honest for the sake of mutual understanding. And since I'm a chick FA and can express my feelings more openly I thought I'd try to explain how it can feel from the other side sometimes. OK, another overly long post and I hope it made sense.
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Old 06-26-2008, 02:53 PM   #45
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amazing post.
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also amazing post.
These two have said everything everything I possibly would on the subject so though I could bust out a novel-sized write up, it wouldn't really be worth it. Seriously read those posts. That's honest to god FAism, and not from a heartless shitbag point of view.

I was worried about this thread. Dimensions has become a land of rifts recently (and maybe not so recently). It's the fat men vs. the skinny guys, it's the BBW against the FAs, it's everyone in hyde park, all I really see is strife. I feared that, as usual, a thread of this seriousness would only work to drive another axe into our forum community. But I'm beginning to think I was wrong, I'm seeing some great posts, and possible even some *gasp* understanding.
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Old 06-26-2008, 04:12 PM   #46
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Tight squeezes were listed as embarrassing, so I voted on that one, though I think whether or to what degree someone is embarrassed about anything is a personality call.

I could well have voted on the struggling points, out of breath and sweating, because frankly, this isn't something necessarily peculiar to FAs. Athletes and bodybuilders sweat and breath heavily while doing their sports, and I can see why there's a turn on to that - because these are the manifestations of a body which engages in a challenge, a test of its personal best. Well, for someone who weighs 600 pounds, maybe getting up a couple flights of stairs in one shot is their personal best, and watching their expressions of struggle and determination and the exhausted joy when the objective is met certainly can be an inspiring thing.

For people of any size, there is an erotic aspect of suspense. A challenge is raised. Will the actor prevail, walk the desired distance, negotiate the narrow points? We all know the psychology of the cliffhanger. I think most of these items speak to that. We all are curious about our bodily capabilities. Even the squashing thing (which I guess I could partially claim for myself having a liking for woman-on-top positions but not so much for face-sitting [I likes to see my gal bounce!]) seems to be partly a matter of an FA testing his or her endurance.

I think the only item mentioned that goes against that is total immobility, that would seem to me to be more of a surrender and giving up dynamic. I suppose to some that is a turn on as well, just not to me so much, to me the tight squeeze thing is more of a temporary challenge to be surmounted.

But certainly I've been to places and seen people fricken bound in leather cords, even in plastic wrap, they get off on feeling like The Mummy I guess. So immobility isn't peculiar to FAs either.

Negative and disgusting, I think, are also subjective and personality calls. I know what I think is disgusting about people, it usually has nothing to do with physical things, and I'd think with anyone what disgusts them would be pretty much a buzz kill. I mean, I know, there are doms who will do this "You DISGUST Me" line of talk, but I take that to be more of a role-playing tactic for subs who get off on being humiliated.

Then again, I don't know if I can speak much for doms. Political animals like me tend to be beings of extreme resistance, which not all doms handle very well to say the least. Resistance. I suppose there's a concept which might apply as well, to exercise, to heavy breathing and sweating, to tight squeezes. A challenge of course only exists when an objective interacts with resistance, and the question is in play of which will prevail.
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Old 06-26-2008, 04:46 PM   #47
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Embarrassing aspects are cute, but it can seriously wrong sometimes. For example, say a BBW pops a button off a pair of jeans or something, generally you'll see some blushing and a little bit of joking around about it if in company, but what if they take it badly? I have seen a woman cry over this once, and I felt seriously bad for enjoying the button popping.

Being an FA is hard sometimes.
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Old 06-26-2008, 05:41 PM   #48
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This should probably go on the random confessions thread, but I think it's really cute when a girl confides in me she's recently been mistaken as pregnant . The rest of the stuff I could leave, but that's just me. Maybe we should get a flag so the squeamish can kepe their sensibilities intact? Rants follow.

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To be very frank this skeeves me out so badly I don't know if it's healthy for me to stick around here any longer? No wonder so many BBW think FA's are creepy. Going away to think for awhile. I am definitely NOT aroused by the misfortune, suffering or embarrassment of others. This poll, or more accurately the results thus far, makes me very sad. And yeah, that's me being a judgmental asshat. Deal with it, delete it, I don't really GAF.
Ernest, your post makes me sad. Way to let 87 people ruin it for the entire community. Then again, if you're the kind of person who believes his/her opinions on sensitive issues are axioms and runs away finger-in-ear when such an issue comes up... This really should not be the place for you.

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This poll reminds me of the question - "Do you still beat your wife?"

There is no right answer.
I interpret the poll as being much deeper than that. These are mostly accessory fetishes being discussed. Things regularly observed outside of the FA community. Sure they might be embarrassing to admit, but, at the same time, it might be nice to for someone out there to know he/she isn't alone. I think you're confusing, "turned on by" with, " actively seeking to affect". If you're not one of them, you'd be surprised how many perfectly healthy people fantasize about things that are, in reality, impractical, immoral, unpleasant, and/or impossible.

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personally, i think that we are better off as a community for having the freedom of open expression and avenues of learning and understanding... ::hats off to conrad for allowing such::

i urge the dimmers reading and responding to this thread to not take responses personally... let personal judgement go... take the thread for what it is - an anonymous exploration of taboo sexual desire in a taboo subcultural safe space...

if you do not agree with the content of said thread, you have the power to click over to another screen and read something that you find suitable...

the big apple has spoken...
::exeunt::

Y'know, that's the Plural of exit. I wish people here could be anywhere near as mature as you're suggesting. *sigh*
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Old 06-26-2008, 05:48 PM   #49
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Dr. P, props for understanding the underlying theme in what I was saying. Truth be known, it was her weight gain that brought me to Dimensions. Ten years ago I was a newbie, and as excited as many of the guys that venture here today.

The one constant here was that I really cared about this girl, and her physical and emotional well being were important to me. Although I lost the relationship, and the sexual roller coaster that went along with it, I knew she needed to move on to keep her sanity, and I ended up being the focal point for the aggressive behavior she exhibited, the result of years of rape and prostitution that she was forced into years before she met me.

No, I never attempted to re-create the same thing with the other girls I was involved with (mostly from Dimensions). I think it's important to let each relationship stand on its own, as you may find something emotionally or sexually appealing that you might have missed if you try to make that relationship something that its not.

Now, I'd be lying if I didn't say that there are guys out there still trying to make the square peg fit the round hole (forcing women to do various acts solely for their sexual pleasure). I think we can all agree that in and of itself is wrong.

While none of the activities in the poll really get my juices flowing these days, I have to tell you that being in a commited relationship allows one to do things under the endorsement of love, and suddenly some of these "disgusting" things become okay between the two involved.

Carla may not want me to mention this, but she doesn't mind when I share something for everyone's benefit, so here goes. When we first met, she had a fear of face sitting and squishing, her fear being that she would hurt her "partner". As her LOVER, I made her feel comfortable with herself in doing it, and she now finds it very sexually charged. I would venture to say that if our marriage ever ended, she would prefer to have this in her next relationship, as her view of this has changed over the years, because it was done with love.

I knew this thread could be very interesting, and I'm glad it hasn't really taken an ugly turn..................yet. I applaud Mister Guy for his candor as well, and think we can all learn from this.
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Old 06-26-2008, 06:16 PM   #50
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I think there is a huge difference between "I AM aroused" and "I CAN BE aroused." Just about everyone can be aroused by things that are either politically incorrect, frowned upon, judged and so on. So a poll like this automatically raises red flags to me. I cannot see the outcome as anything other than, "Ewwww...!! Those slimy demented FAs are into THAT?!!? Gross. Humiliating. Cruel. Evil." Hence, given that FA fantasies are generally attacked and nuked, a leading poll seems like shooting fish in a barrel. And no, Ripley, it doesn't mean I hate you. But I do wonder what legitimate reason you might have to ask.

I'm aware that you dislike me, and that's okay.

I put this poll in the Erotic Weight Gain subforum so the mods could make sure there was no abuse to people who chose to post, and made the poll itself anonymous so people who were shy could still answer.

As to the reason I asked...a great part of it was curiosity. Another part is that I get approached by a lot of FAs, and I'd like to understand them better. Another reason is that I think the "Fantasy to concern" thread was derailed from a valid discussion of some of the less-lovely aspects of the very fat.



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Ripley, since when has farting been a disgusting issue of size? Really. Or hygeine "issues"? Aren't there as many skinny people who fart and don't wash, as there are fat people?

Farting isnt disgusting, its a natural occurence, and there are people turned on by everything. I find your use of the word disgusting to be strange, and don't feel it's helpful at all. All it does is stamp your opinion on your own made up poll.

I see some people here being disgusted, offended and apparently "scared" of the fact that people are turned on by the things in this poll. Consider this - your next partner might be turned on by all of those things, but you'll never know, specially if you show that attitude. Why would anyone be scared or disgusted or offended by the thought that another person is turned on by any of the things in the poll? If someone gets aroused by hearing/smelling a big rattly fart, or by thinking of a woman so big she struggles walking, will it hurt you? Will they infect you with some disease? Does it mean they aren't a wonderful person, kind and generous, and considerate?

We're not talking here about taking a person and stuffing them til theyre immobile in reality, then poking them to make them fart, all for sexual gratification. We are talking about turn-ons and/or fantasy. I'd bet my life that some of the most outraged here, have a fantasy that they'd NEVER admit to, to anyone.

Farting and hygiene issues are not the sole venue of fat people, but I am asking in regards to fat people. See the difference?

As for my word choices...as I was making this poll I was talking to a friend of mine who is a feeder (*waves to him* ) and he expressed concern over my word choices. I decided to keep them that way for brevity and also because I couldn't find another way to categorize and still be as clear as I wanted to be.

Yes, I agree that my own "stamp" is on this poll. But I made it, and I'm okay with that. I do think that not being able to walk far or well IS a negative of large size. I should know, eh? I do think farts are kinda disgusting. That's not to say that I run screaming down the street rending my garments after someone lets one rip. I have, in fact, been known to fart myself (shocking as that may be ).

I don't know if your use of the word "outraged" was meant for me, but I am not/was not "outraged" and that was not why I made this poll.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Risible View Post
I find it arousing to watch my husband as he struggles, sweating and out of breath, while he's working away at some physical task (including making love to me, k). Certainly he's in better shape than me, and it takes much less physically for me to begin sweating and breathing heavily ... but why does anyone need to label this arousal as something negative, painful or disgusting?

Arousal ... it's a body's physical response to stimuli. It's natural. If you're (the general you) squeamish about what turns somebody else on, then you should look to your own self for answers to what's wrong with that.

In light of the judgmental tone of the title of this thread, and of several subsequent posts, I, too, applaud those who've answered with candor.
I'm sorry that you felt this was judgmental.


Quote:
Originally Posted by missy_blue_eyez View Post
First off.....good thread Ripley! I am always really interested in this kind of stuff, the mind of the FA absolutely astounds me, I love learning all this stuff...... am so intrigued to actually read some real answers to the actual poll instead of people sweating the small stuff about descriptive words!!!!

Im sure Ripley used the phrases 'disgusting' 'Painful' and 'negative' because, lets be honest guys, in the society that we live in they are deemed exactly as those things.......farting, burping etc are deemed as taboo's for a reason......yes we all do it, but in light of using them for sexual gratification they are taboo, hence the markers in which Ripley has used. I also reckon (please dont anybody get offended if Im wrong) that in terms of the FA visual to those kinds of things, thats how they would come across, its kinda like the pleasure pain theory isnt it.....we like them, but we shouldn't like them.

LOL, I know what I mean anyway, but again, good thread, Im jus looking forward to reading some real insight...... Wrestling Guy, loved your post, I experienced something like this quite recently.

I met up with a guy (whom is an FA) recently.....id jus got back from my holiday with a really bad cold and cough. I got to his and you have to walk up about 4 flights of stairs until you get to his place. By the time Id got to the top, I was puffing and panting and really struggling to breath, it happens usually anyway but this time it was really bad because of the cold. Later on in the evening he admitted to me how sexy he thought that was, knowing that Id struggled with those stairs.....I just giggled and thought it was really funny, and then proceeded to tell him about how Id broken my bed a couple of days before....its amazing how with an FA these kind of things are pillow talk, when to a normal guy he'd be running out the room screaming! lol

That is all
Thanks. I really needed that, lol.


Quote:
Originally Posted by mfdoom View Post
These two have said everything everything I possibly would on the subject so though I could bust out a novel-sized write up, it wouldn't really be worth it. Seriously read those posts. That's honest to god FAism, and not from a heartless shitbag point of view.

I was worried about this thread. Dimensions has become a land of rifts recently (and maybe not so recently). It's the fat men vs. the skinny guys, it's the BBW against the FAs, it's everyone in hyde park, all I really see is strife. I feared that, as usual, a thread of this seriousness would only work to drive another axe into our forum community. But I'm beginning to think I was wrong, I'm seeing some great posts, and possible even some *gasp* understanding.

That was my intent, and I'm glad to see it come about, at least for some.

There have been many rifts at Dimensions lately. It has caused me to look at how I interact, and I decided to confront something I'm not all that comfortable with head-on in hopes of expanding my and maybe someone else's understanding.



__________________________________________________ _____________



People keep saying how negative this thread could be. To me, even though I'm sorta in the hot seat, it hasn't been. I'm learning a lot (kudos to the brave guys who stepped up). I thought (pretty naively, I can see now) that putting it here would avoid the drama and arguing, because of the rules of this subforum.


I'm surprised at how virulent the responses to my word choices were. I knew they wouldn't be popular, but I didn't find them that egregious.

You know, I'm lazy as hell. I do think it's a negative (I could get a lot more done if I wasn't!) but you know what? I also like it when my laziness turns a guy on. It's a win-win situation for me. The out-of-breath and sweating part...well, climbing stairs or walking a long way, I'm going to be out of breath and sweating, he might as well like it, lol.



Threads around here often lose sight of the original point and instead devolve into nitpicking method, or snarking...I really hope we can keep this one on track. Instead of talking about how negative it could be, maybe we could just each try to make sure it doesn't become negative?
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