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View Poll Results: Is there an appropriate time for a Yakov Smirnoff reference?
Yes, ALWAYS 24 53.33%
No, NEVER 9 20.00%
Who is Yakov Smirnoff?/Who cares?/Get a life Dr. P 12 26.67%
Voters: 45. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 07-02-2008, 05:32 PM   #1
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Default Достаточно!(Enough!)-The Yakov Smirnoff poll

I am tired of being the lone voice of reason adrift in a sea of references to lame observational comedy about a country that no longer exists. But I try to be reasonable and open minded around here and so I have decided to see if MAYBE, just maybe I need to rethink my position. So, I'm throwing it out to the community as a whole. Is there or is there not ever an appropriate time for a Yakov Smirnoff reference? Oh, and I included a third category for those of you who like to vote on issues about which you are uninformed. I want this bold experiment in democracy to be fair, after all.

Once the community has spoken, I promise to abide by your decision. But just remember, if you vote in favor of me shutting up, you have only yourselves to blame for what happens.

Dr. P


EDITED: Geez, you can't make a poll without people complaining. :P Here is the master's web page, you can click to youtube links from there.
http://www.yakov.com/default.html

Last edited by Dr. P Marshall : 07-02-2008 at 05:45 PM. Reason: exposing the masses to comedic torture
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Old 07-02-2008, 05:36 PM   #2
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"Who is Yakov Smirnoff?"

Not "Who cares?" or "Get a life, Dr. P."
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Old 07-02-2008, 05:39 PM   #3
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you should've included an example for the people who don't get it, but yes there is always a time for Yakov Smirnoff, at first I thought you were talking about the vodka guy
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Old 07-02-2008, 05:43 PM   #4
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Default In Soviet Russia

Yakov Smirnoff makes a poll about You.

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Old 07-02-2008, 05:44 PM   #5
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I must confess...I know who you refer to but DESPERATELY want to pick the third option for the third choice contained therein.

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Old 07-02-2008, 05:45 PM   #6
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She pulled a mini-ripley.
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Old 07-02-2008, 07:23 PM   #7
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Where is the "Sometimes" option?

'cause really, there are times when it's apporpriate. Not often, but it does happen.
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Old 07-02-2008, 07:31 PM   #8
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I chose yes, because honestly, as long as it makes you laugh Dr. P, than that is all that matters. And when someone else gets it too, all the better.
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Old 07-02-2008, 07:34 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DumbAssBunny View Post
I chose yes, because honestly, as long as it makes you laugh Dr. P, than that is all that matters. And when someone else gets it too, all the better.
Ah! I guess I should have made my stance clearer. I'm anti-Smirnoff. But thank you for considering my amusement a priority.
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Old 07-02-2008, 07:37 PM   #10
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Dr. P... I used to own an Russian made motorcycle. If you have ever owned a Russian made vehicle you will realize that post Soviet Yakov Smirnoff is still relevent in many ways. The Soviet Union and now Russia was, and is the great country that has an inferiority complex... and rightly so in many ways. When the Russian Motorcycle Clubs (Ural & Dnepr motorcycles...) go for a ride, they have a running bet on who's motorcycle the first part will fall from. In the Soviet Union Marx once said that "quantity has a quality of it's own"... they had lots of military might, not quality. Now Russia has the most billionairs in the world, but they are still bickering and gridlocked in cronyism. Do you know why Mig fighter jet exhausts point up? Because most of Russia's (and the Soviet Union's) runways are made of dirt... seriously.

So as for Yakov Smirnoff... I say dated, but still relevent.



...and I like those furry Russian hats.
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Last edited by stan_der_man : 07-02-2008 at 07:41 PM. Reason: ..P.S. If this thread goes more than 5 pages I'll even post a picture of me in my furry Russian hat.
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Old 07-02-2008, 07:37 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. P Marshall View Post
Ah! I guess I should have made my stance clearer. I'm anti-Smirnoff. But thank you for considering my amusement a priority.
I sorry, I did not know. But since Yakov is not known FA, you can make fun of him here, he no care. (sorry for lame Russian accent type writing)
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Old 07-02-2008, 07:50 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fa_man_stan View Post
Dr. P... I used to own an Russian made motorcycle. If you have ever owned a Russian made vehicle you will realize that post Soviet Yakov Smirnoff is still relevent in many ways. The Soviet Union and now Russia was, and is the great country that has an inferiority complex... and rightly so in many ways. When the Russian Motorcycle Clubs (Ural & Dnepr motorcycles...) go for a ride, they have a running bet on who's motorcycle the first part will fall from. In the Soviet Union Marx once said that "quantity has a quality of it's own"... they had lots of military might, not quality. Now Russia has the most billionairs in the world, but they are still bickering and gridlocked in cronyism. Do you know why Mig fighter jet exhausts point up? Because most of Russia's (and the Soviet Union's) runways are made of dirt... seriously.

So as for Yakov Smirnoff... I say dated, but still relevent.



...and I like those furry Russian hats.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DumbAssBunny View Post
(sorry for lame Russian accent type writing)
Dear Stan,
Спасибо! Thank you for explain me these things I not knowing at time such as I living there. Is for me most useful. (And I bet you look great in the hat.)
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Old 07-02-2008, 07:56 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. P Marshall View Post
Dear Stan,
Спасибо! Thank you for explain me these things I not knowing at time such as I living there. Is for me most useful. (And I bet you look great in the hat.)
... and same for you in wearing babushka beautiful lady.


You wait... five pages.


Maybe I make picture, wear fuzzy hat, look like Russian bear.
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Old 07-02-2008, 08:37 PM   #14
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Default Dr. P.....

I am against any reference to this supposed personnage, just because the whole idea is not wholesome nor tidy and you don't think it should oughta' happen and you know that I go by your opinion in matters Russian! So there! Nanner-nanner! What were we talking about? I am all about a complete and total ban on this guy...just because...I don't know why...but I am all for it!! But, saaaay...on a groovy note, I am liking that Russian "don't techno for an answer" band..."Supersonic Futures"...turns out that the head guy, Oleg Kostrow, used to play with Oleg Gitarkin outta' Messer fur Frau Muller and then the more famous Messer Chups....small woild!! Rock on!
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Old 07-02-2008, 09:32 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Windom Earle View Post
I am against any reference to this supposed personnage, just because the whole idea is not wholesome nor tidy and you ...
...yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada ada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada yada ada yada yada yada yada nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet
...
Hey! Smirnoff's hat is a lot fuzzier than mine!



I'm jealous.



Don't care what you say Mr. Earle, I'm still liking ol' Yakov.




Four more pages and counting...




Just curious... do the Russians think he's funny, or is he kinda like Jerry Lewis in France?
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Old 07-02-2008, 10:34 PM   #16
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Default Ach! Mein Goat in Himmel!

Mr. Stan, sir, you are saying "yada" to the "nyet"???????? But the internyets provides us with giga-minutes of cheerful and wholesome entertainment at a time....I am lost and confused???? Maybe this yakov character stole the goodness out of the internets????

Quote:
Originally Posted by fa_man_stan View Post
Hey! Smirnoff's hat is a lot fuzzier than mine!
I'm jealous.
Don't care what you say Mr. Earle, I'm still liking ol' Yakov.
Four more pages and counting...yadayadayadayadayadanyetnyetnyet
Just curious... do the Russians think he's funny, or is he kinda like Jerry Lewis in France?
PS, Mr. Stan, sir...I think that he is considered to be more like W.C.Fields in Philadelphia! quoth: "I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday"
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Old 07-03-2008, 12:39 AM   #17
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always. everything should be made into a yakov smirnoff reference, because life is absurd and thusly it makes sense.

but in soviet russia, sense makes you!
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:03 AM   #18
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Default Alles im Himmel ist blau...

You sir are probably correct as usual.

What I should have said is...
nada nada nada nyuk nyuk nyuk

As W.C. Fields once said:
"A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money."




Quote:
Originally Posted by Windom Earle View Post
Mr. Stan, sir, you are saying "yada" to the "nyet"???????? But the internyets provides us with giga-minutes of cheerful and wholesome entertainment at a time....I am lost and confused???? Maybe this yakov character stole the goodness out of the internets????



PS, Mr. Stan, sir...I think that he is considered to be more like W.C.Fields in Philadelphia! quoth: "I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday"
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Old 07-03-2008, 09:10 AM   #19
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I never tire of dated 80s references. I say bring on the Emo Phillips jokes too.
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Old 07-03-2008, 09:13 AM   #20
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snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!snuggletiger has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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I feel bad for Yakov Smirnoff. The Berlin Wall, Perestroika, Glasnost and shish boom bah, Yakov was on the unemployment line, the one person the fall of Communism crushed.
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Old 07-03-2008, 11:01 AM   #21
Dr. P Marshall
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Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!Dr. P Marshall has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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I see where this is heading, but I'm not conceding until this reaches 5 pages or we see the picture of Stan in the hat whichever comes first. (I REALLY want to see the picture of Stan in the fur hat.) So, insert the belligerent argument of your choice here and credit it to me and keep convincing me.
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Old 07-03-2008, 11:45 AM   #22
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Admiral_Snackbar keeps pushing the rep limit!
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I will say that my main exposure to Yakov has been a) His little stint in Brewster's Millions (including catchphrase) and b) the standup he did on Rodney Dangerfield's Comedy Show (HBO, circa 1983). The only skit I recall was his bit about being in a supermarket and seeing a box that said "New Freedom..." what a country--freedom in a box. So he bought 15 of them. When he went to work at a restaurant, he decided to use them on the tables since they were 'sanitary napkins.' I recall he was on the 700 Club not too long ago and got saved before he went to Branson, so I am curious as to whether his standup is still suggestive like that.

While I do agree to the Yes vote, it is often with a facepalm in that "hmm, we punish burglars by letting them sue the homeowners when they injure themselves in the house they are burgling...what a country!"


I always refer to a classic Doctor Demento skit called "Russian Bandstand." It sums up everything I loved about the whole Communist stereotype. That and the short scene where Vanessa Angel strips down to her undies near the end of Spies Like Us (undoubtedly one of the only enjoyable scenes in that film--at least chubster Aykroyd got to bed her).
Spoken: Welcome to Russian Bandstand
This is your host, Nikita Clarkchev
In Russia almost everybody watches Russian Bandstand
(Machine gun fire)
Now everybody watches Russian Bandstand
Ha, ha, ha
Next is number one song in Russia
(Excerpt of Chuck Berry song played backwards)
(But we don't like that song)
You've got to like that song
It's number one song
(But we don't like…)
(Machine gun fire)
Who else doesn't like that song?
(I don't like…) (Machine gun fire)
(…any other song)
Too late, comrade! Now, anybody else don't like?
(We like that song)
Alright, now a word from our sponsor. You better listen
Light up Stroganoff
New short length cigarette
Each cigarette, two puffs
That's all you got time for
Work twenty-two hours a day salt mine
It's only cigarette with microphone filter
So be careful comrades, secret police are listening
It's only cigarette I smoke, right Comrade Mamarelachev
Right, only cigarette you can buy
Next on the Russian Bandstand is country's number one singing star,
Nikita Presleychev
What are you going to sing, Nikita
(Chuck Berry song played backwards)
No, that's wrong song
(Machine gun fire)
Tomorrow we have new number one singing star
Tomorrow we have new number one song
Hey, comrade, we are secret police,
Tomorrow we'll have new host on Russian Bandstand
(Machine gun fire)
Spencer and Spencer [1959]
Russian Bandstand
My boss two companies ago was from Minsk, so we often chatted back and forth (in accent) about punishment for lab failure is working 22 hours day in basement salt mine.

Dr. Marshall can now chide me about my only exposure to Russian music being Regina Spektor and t.A.T.u. (something about quasi-lesbionic Russian technopop just intrigues me).
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Old 07-03-2008, 01:52 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Admiral_Snackbar View Post

t.A.T.u. (something about quasi-lesbionic Russian technopop just intrigues me).
AAHHHHH!!!!!! Почему????!!!!!!WHY?????




*Although AS, I'm glad to see you know the EXACT DATES of your Yakov Smirnoff "experiences." And are up to date on the status of his religious convictions.
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Old 07-03-2008, 06:05 PM   #24
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Two pages and counting Marshall...




I dunno... it's hot outside... the hat is really fuzzy and I'm thinking sweaty hair...


...this thread ain't moving at lightnin' speed if you know what I'm getting at.




mmmmmmmmmmmmmmaybe...
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Old 07-03-2008, 06:15 PM   #25
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Default An epic story of suffering and percerverence

Пока сидящ здесь на работе привинчивая вокруг на часами компьютера как I' m печатая на машинке вверх по одному из моих обычных delightfully развлекая и шутливых столбов на размерах (содержание btw… reps приходя, it' s мои вентиляторы которые мотируют меня…) Я получаю ощупывание которое я действительно должен принять дерьму. I' m практически разрывая, поэтому я бегу к туалету, быстро хватаю одно из тех извилистых thingies обложки места туалета, plop его вниз, падает мои ящики как быстро по мере того как я могу и перебирать струны мой ишак вниз на туалете. Низко и созерцайте, пока сидящ там сбрасывающ я вижу эту тропку муравеев водя до туалета. Я начинаю чувствовать что эта щекоча шумиха вверх по моим ногам быстро делать им полностью к моему отказу приклада… после этого рассветает на мне, чтобы муравеи на всем туалет. I быстро раговорного жанра и думает к себе, " fuck! ". Я после этого достигаю к моему праву, хватаю большую валюшку туалетной бумаги и начинаю почистить муравеев щеткой с моих ног и ишака. Я быстро трястию извилистое thingie обложки места туалета и сижу назад вниз для того чтобы закончить мою торопливость столба дела. Действительно всосанное то!


The translator of the Czars... Copy, paste, set "Russian to English" and enjoy.

(Один шаг ближе к странице 3 Marshall...)
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