Dimensions Forums  
Home Register Premium Membership Stories Ye Olde Library Health Issues Market Place Big Fashion

Go Back   Dimensions Forums > Library > Fantasy/Science Fiction Archive



Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 07-09-2008, 03:16 AM   #1
Coop
Proud owner of Megas
 
Coop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New York. But I wish I lived in Jersey City!!!
Posts: 734
Coop can now change their title
Default Freshman 500 - by Coop (SSBBW (multiple), Eating, WG powder, ~XWG)

SSBBW (multiple), Eating, WG powder, ~XWG - This is the story of a girl and her best friend, and her journey to unbridled gluttony.

Freshman 500

by Coop

[Author's Note: This is a rewrite of Tiffany's Expansion and was given permission by Deryk Shane himself. I hope you all enjoy it.]

I had always been an average size for a girl, roughly 150 pounds. I would eat cake, pie, pretty much anything and not gain anymore weight however I could only eat a little at a time. When I started college I met Jessica, who had always been rather plump since childhood and it didn't bother her. We both hit it off pretty quickly and became best friends. I made other friends as well, mostly around my size, which caused Jess to feel self-conscious around my friends, and she decided to diet. She didn't want to tell her mother, because she didn't like talking about her weight.

Her mother always packed pastries or donuts, and an always high-calorie main course. Jessica, not being able to resist any food she was given, was free to eat all of it. But the day she decided to diet, she asked me to eat it for her.

"Can you eat my lunch for me so I don't eat it?" she said.

"Why?"

"Because if I have to I'll eat all of it."

"Sure."

Jessica gave her lunch to me and started right away. After the first bite I was ecstatic. I couldn't believe how good homemade food tasted. There were two tuna fish sandwiches, 1 large Snickers bar, a 6-inch long piece of homemade cheese Danish and a banana, which I gave back so Jessica could have something to eat. I ate the Danish, the candy bar, and one of the sandwiches when I decided to stop.

"You can't stop, if you don't finish, I'll eat it, you have to," Jessica declared.

"Okay," I said starting on the last sandwich. I felt my stomach twinge with each bite. Tightening my skintight shirt. I finished, then staggered to my next class about ready to keel over.

This went on for the rest of the week. Next Monday, Jessica proudly said, "I've lost 3 pounds."

"Good for you." I congratulated her as she handed her lunch to me. I anxiously opened it and pull out 2 chicken salad sandwiches, another Danish and 2 snickers bars, no banana. I ate it hungrily, realizing I looked forward to it, finishing it in half the time. When I finished, I realized I ate it and still wanted something else.

At the end of the day, I went to the corner store and bought a bagful of mini Snickers, which I pretty much ate on the way home from the commute. After a while, we went our separate ways and I walked home. When I went through the door I felt so full and ready to burst. However, the taste of the Snickers got the better of me and I finished the bag. I went up to my room and rubbed my stomach. I felt a thin layer of fat on it. It felt so nice and soft to touch. It was by no means huge, just a bit more fleshly. I decided to weigh myself; the scale read out at 155. Five more than a week ago, most likely due to the Snickers I ate.

Another week later, at lunch, Jessica said, "I've gained 2 pounds."

"How can that be, you aren't eating lunch," I responded as I shoveled a cheese danish into my mouth.

"My mother noticed I lost weight and decided to make my lunches bigger, than she decided to give me a snack after school and at bedtime."

"Uh, I hadn't noticed the lunches were bigger," I mumbled, with my mouth full of a piece of Snickers bar. Soon, I finished and rubbed my stomach. My once loose shirt now stretched to cover my expanding stomach, still not discernible to others. I could feel the the layer of fat thickening, day after day. I was also starting to get a chest, only noticeable due to the fact I was wearing a skintight shirt. I hadn't weighed myself recently, but figured I had gained around 6 pounds in the week. I didn't care, in fact, I liked it. I even noticed my panties were tighter. My butt was getting fatter than any part of me, It could easily be seen when I turned sideways. My hips were widening. My favorite jeans were now impossible to button, but miraculously, they did today.

Early the next morning, I awoke to the sound of my stomach growling at about 5 Am, 2 hours before I normally wake up. As I got out of bed and got dressed, I realized the space between my legs was narrowing. I felt my stomach when I looked down, noticed my chest seemed more predominant. I decided to weigh myself. The scale read 161 pounds. That was 11 pounds in two weeks. I went downstairs and ate 3 bowls of Frosted Flakes and 2 glasses of chocolate milk before I left for school. I met up with Jessica. We talked about the usual: boys, school, and slowly the conversation turned to weight.

"You look a little fuller," Jessica said, gesturing to my bigger rear.

"Yeah, I've gained 11 pounds in 2 weeks."

"I've lost 4," Jessica proudly said. We stopped at the corner store where I bought a candy bar. I enjoyed each bite as we talked. I could feel my tight panties shift with each step.

This routine kept up for 2 more months. My rear was definitely noticeable from the side and my panties started to form a thong from being so small. I really started to love my new look. I now had a respectable chest. Unfortunately only a few pairs of my jeans fit and all my shirts were skin tight to the point of showing my bulging stomach. My mother finally took me shopping and bought me looser clothes.

That Thursday as I ate, I looked over and saw a frown on Jessica's face,

"What's wrong," I said as I swallowed.

"I haven't lost any weight since Monday."

"Why's that, you don't eat lunch," I said taking another bite.

"My mother made my dinner bigger, and I have to eat it all."

I saw her eyes watering as she said, "I know, why don't you come over to my house for the weekend and eat my snacks and part of my dinner?"

"Sure," I replied, muffled by the brownies.

After school, I went home and weighed myself. I had hit the 200-pound mark. Unbelievable. I gained 50 pounds in 2 months due to constant eating. Perhaps the scale was broken. I went back to my room and laid down on my stomach and looked at the mirror. I noticed how far my butt stuck out. I reached back and felt it. Yep, that butt is all me. It looked like 2 soft pillows that anyone could use to sleep on. I got up and modeled in front of the mirror. I got turned on looking at my round widening rear. My thighs were also starting to rub. I then pulled up my shirt and looked at my expanding stomach. It stuck out as far as my chest. My butt I figured stuck out 3-4 inches from my back. I locked the door then pulled down my jeans just to look at my butt in my panties. They were starting to wedge in my butt and caused lines around the edge. I figured Jess would have a few pairs I could borrow.

The next day I went home with Jessica, when we got there her mom gave us cookies and milk. I dug in right away eating most of them when I gave some to Jess so she could have something to eat. We sat down and watched TV. I noticed I had 2 rolls of fat forming above my waistline due to my tight shorts. My thighs were also wider and softer. Jess's mother came back and gave us a plate of homemade cheese danishes. I was bloated from the cookies but I ate the danishes anyway. As her mom left I noticed just how big Jess's mother was. She weight about 260. Most of the weight was settled in her hips, thighs, and butt. I was only 60 pounds short of matching her. Jess, on the other hand, weighed 220. I finished the danish and sat there rubbing my stomach.

Soon it was dinner and her mother brought out a platter full of fried chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy and bread with butter, all of it homemade. I ate mine quickly and ate part of Jess's when her mother gave us seconds. I ate around 8 pieces of chicken, until I felt like I was gonna burst. Jess's mother then brought out more cheese danishes for us to eat. As Jess ate 3 pieces of her chicken, I ate a danish while Jess was given a smaller piece in case she was hungry.

Before we had a chance to say otherwise, Jess's mother said to us, "I want to see those plates cleaned."

I sat back and moaned quietly, rubbing my stomach in sweet agony. Soon, we were alone and Jess gave up the rest of her food to me. I ate slowly, but had Jess to talk to. Around 8:30, I finally finished.

Full from all the food, Jess helped me up and we went into her room. I laid on her bed and saw my stomach protrude out further, mostly due to all the food I ate. We rested on her bed and talked. I got up and looked at the mirror. My butt was at this point rivaling Jess's mothers and was very snug in my shorts. My hips were wider. I looked up and started to see a double chin forming, just below the small bulge on the bottom of my chin.

Around 10, before bedtime, we were each given some cheesecake, about half a cake each. I ate it as we talked. Jess then gave me a pair of her panties to wear. I got changed and noticed her clothes were a little snug on me. At this point I realized I was getting close to Jess's size. I also noticed my butt was now bigger than hers. I looked in the mirror and slapped my jiggling rear as it made ripples, then smiled and finished getting dressed. I weight myself again and the scale read 205. Five more pounds. I looked at the mirror and saw my butt was getting wide. Then I got dressed and saw my rear showing very distinctively. I went to bed sleeping on the floor.

Slowly, I woke up to the smell of pancakes, sausage, bacon, and eggs. I went to the bathroom and realized the sweatpants were now completely tight the whole way across my butt and even that stuck out farther. My stomach now had rolls and my chest was a little tighter in my bra. I weighed myself again and noticed I was still 205. The scale wasn't broken. Quickly, I was overtaken by the smell of pancakes. I went to the kitchen. Jessica was already in the kitchen eating a stack of buttermilk pancakes with butter and syrup. "Oh, you're up, here's your pancakes," she said, handing me a stack of 5 pancakes. I took them, making short work.

Jess gave me half of her's to eat. I ate them, savoring each bite along with butter and syrup. Jess's mother gave us 2 more pancakes with sausage, bacon, eggs, and ham. Still hungry, I ate with reckless abandon. Jess occasionally gave some of her food to me, which I ate quickly. Even still, more food was handed out and not being able to reject it, I ate it. Surprisingly even more food was handed out. This time we got some french toast, which I ate 3 slices of while giving Jess the other slice.

We eventually finished. I sat on the couch rubbing my stomach. For a snack, we were given even more pancakes to eat. Loving every minute of it, I ate the food that was in front of me. For the rest of the day, all I could think about was lunch and what we were going to eat. I got up to feel my rear. I was really getting huge and it looked like it grew overnight. My hips were wider and became more noticeable. My legs were rounder as well. My stomach stuck out about 5 to 6 inches and my double chin was really noticeable. Jess commented, "Your butt's a lot bigger than mine."

"Yeah," I said, reaching back, rubbing my round lobes, to my surprise they seemed pretty firm, for how big and fat they were.

"Lunch," Jess's mom called from the kitchen. I quickly ran to the kitchen and and saw 5 large tuna fish sandwiches on the plate. I grabbed one and ate quickly. I then ate 3 more sandwiches when out of the corner of my eye I noticed a plate of brownies with hot fudge icing. Jess's mother cut me a large piece and gave Jess a smaller one. I ate about 1/4 of the pan and Jess couldn't believe how hungry I was or how much I've been eating. We watched television for a while when we were given glasses of milk to drink. I drank mine as well as finished some of Jess's for her. I went to the bathroom when Jess spoke with her mom. "She sure can eat, can't she?"

"Yeah, I've never seen her eat that much."

"How would you like some homemade cheesecake for a snack?"

"Yeah."

"And I want to see you eat it, not her."

"Okay."

I walked out, thighs rubbing, butt taunt in my sweats. "I feel better now," patting my stomach.

For the entire day I pretty much ate constantly. I stood in the mirror and looked at my ballooning rear end. "Wow I can't believe how big I've gotten in 2 months. I only weigh around 205 and I'm this big already."

"It's probably because you're eating high-calorie food and you're getting bigger from the calories."

"Oh," patting my butt, "I'm getting a little more than voluptuous, aren't I?"

"You've got a much bigger butt than I do."

Jess took her camera out of her drawer and said, "Let's take a picture for the record."

"Okay," I said, aiming my butt towards her. Jess took several pictures of my butt from the back, side, angle, and lying down. I looked at them and couldn't believe that was my body. I took the pictures and laid in bed and stared at them, I reached back and felt my butt, now realizing how immense it was getting.

Sunday, after an enormous breakfast, we walked to my house for the day. On the way, we walked by a McDonald's and I ordered a few Big Mac meals with the money I had. Jess sat there as I tore through the the food. I rubbed my stomach affectionately as she ate. I got up and worked my way across the restaurant to the door. Jess, walking slightly behind me, watched has my expanding butt swung from side to side on my enormous hips. We stopped and I bought a bag of snickers from the corner store and ate them as we walked. I turned to Jess, "How can I get bigger, faster?"

"Well, find something that is very high in calories and eat it," she remarked. "Hmm..." she mused, "what about cooking oil?"

"Is that good for your intestines?" I asked as I popped 3 Snickers in my mouth.

"Well, try tonight, and if it works, we'll buy a bottle and keep for myself."

Jess and I snuck into the kitchen, my butt cheeks jiggling, hips swaying, thighs rubbing as I tip-toed through the kitchen to the cupboard. I bent down at the waist, causing my butt to fill out and pull my sweats down an inch. I grabbed the bottle and pulled up my sweats.

Upstairs, I locked the door and looked at the cooking oil. "250 calories per tablespoon??? Can that be right?"

"You'll only need a little."

"Yeah." I opened the bottle and drink about a third of a cup. "Uhhh, Slippery." I rubbed my belly and said, "How long till I notice it?"

She whispered enthusiastically, "Drink more," coaxing, "and you see results quicker."

I drank about 2 cups of it. "That's got to be 16 tablespoons a cup, so about 38 tablespoon, that's," thinking, "10,000 calories. That's three days worth of eating." I opened the bottle and drank about another cup. "Here, you drink some."

"No, I don't want to be big."

"Why not, I am."

"Well, maybe a little." Jess put the rim to her lips and drank some of the oil. I helped her by tapping on the bottom of the bottle, causing her to drink about 2 cups. "Ahhhh."

"You're gonna ga-ain so-ome we-eight," I said in a sing-song way. I took the bottle and drank about another 1 2/3 cups. "Let's see, we drank about half the bottle, it has 10 cups, we drank three-fifths. That's 2 cups for you, about 4 for me. That's 16 times 4, equals 64, 64 times 250, is 16,000 CALORIES. That's a WEEK'S worth of eating."

I lay on my stomach and rubbed it some more. "You're gonna have to go to the bathroom very bad."

"Why?"

"Because that will slide right down."

"It's worth it."

I was tired and I rolled over and went to sleep. Jess looked at my butt and noticed it expand very slightly. Since I was using the pillows she used my rear. It was so soft and cozy. Jess cuddled up to my rear and fell asleep.

I woke up and nudged Jess off my butt. I looked in the mirror and saw my butt had grown tremendously since last night. It looked to be 3 inches wider and now stuck out around 7 to 8 inches from my back. My pants were stretched so tight over my butt and skin was starting to show. My double chin was more noticeable and my legs were rubbing. Feeling the effects of the oil, I went to the bathroom. After doing so I weighed myself. The scale read at 220. I had gained 15 pounds in 2 weeks due to the oil. I was huge. My butt was really big and had a noticeable shelf. When walking, my cheeks could no longer go up and down since my pants were too tight. Instead they shifted from side to side.

Going back to my room I hit the doorway with my wide hips. Jess looked up and saw me. "Wow, you're butt looks like two basketballs." I sat down at my desk chair. My bottom spread across the chair and then some. I picked the cooking oil bottle off the desk and took a quick drink, about a cup. 16 tablespoons. 4,000 calories. It was almost sinful the way I drank it. Jess pulled up a stool I kept by my desk and said, "Let's measure you."

"Yeah!"

Jess grabbed the tape out of the bathroom and brought it back. In the meantime I drank another cup of oil. "That's 24,000 calories today."

"Whoa, that is a lot." Bringing the tape up to my chest. "Here." I measured 39-43-50 1/2. "I really do have a big backside." I handed the oil to Jess, "Do you want the rest?"

"No."

With that, I chugged the rest. That's 8 cups. That's 32,000 CALORIES.

"Let me measure you?"

"Okay."

I measured Jess. "You measure...46...48...44 1/2."

Over the next couple of weeks, my mother starting harping about my weight. When I told my mother I was gaining weight so Jess wouldn't feel bad about her own weight, she was touched but still felt I should stop eating so much and go on a diet. I continued to eat and grow at a slow yet steady pace. When we went shopping I bought clothes that were sizes too big to be on the safe side. However one incident, my sweats gave way and a cheek busted out of one of the holes. I was turned on but slightly embarrassed since it happened in front of my parents.

Jess came over with two 8-cup bottles of oil. These were 200 calories per tablespoon. We went up to my room and locked the door again. I put on my tightest pair of panties and a snug pair of pants. I saw my butt wiggle with every movement I made. I grabbed the first bottle and chugged it. I licked my lips when I finished. I really started to like the oil very much. I then drank another bottle, albeit a little slower. About 5 minutes later, I finished.

"Let's see, Tiff," she calculated, "That's 16x16. 256. Times by 200, is 51,200 CALORIES."

I cooed at this delightfully. My parents left, leaving the house to ourselves. We went downstairs and raided the kitchen. I knew I was going to expand significantly, I wanted to eat something. I ate some leftover chicken and a 10-pack of mallow mars. I bent over to find something else to eat when my butt grew even bigger. My butt jolted out an inch, pulling my panties down further. My belly bulged out more and my hips widened. My thighs now rubbed to the point of my legs twisting with each step. I walked around the kitchen. My butt was massive and stuck out almost a foot from my back.

I walked back to the fridge and saw a giant cheese chunk. I ate the whole thing in a matter of minutes. I felt my body soften even more. I went to lay on the couch, my ever-widening butt jutted up in the air.

"I've got an idea," Jess said. "Instead of using cooking oil, why not buy some of that weight gain powder?"

"Yeah," I sighed, my stomach filling out in jolts. My once snug pants were now skintight on my butt. My panties ripped and the tear was making its way to my butt. "I've got like a super-wedgie." I remarked. I got up and walked towards the stairs. Jess, watching my huge butt sway gently, followed. Going up the steps, my pants dug into my butt. Each growing lobe bouncing up the steps. My thighs showed no room between them.

Jess reached up and patted my butt. "That's surprisingly firm."

"Yeah, I figured it would be real jiggly."

"It looks like you're smuggling beach balls."

"Ha." I laughed nervously, my belly churning from the oil. I hoped I could make it, but my large thighs made things difficult up the step.

Later, we measured each other. I measured 42-45-58. "That's 3-3-7 1/2 gain," I replied excitedly. Jess measured 45 1/2-47-44. Now only weighing 189. I weighed a miraculous 240 compared to my body which should weigh 280.

I woke up the next Saturday morning to someone tapping my large backside. It was Jess holding a large black bottle. I went to the bathroom and weighed myself. 270. My weight finally caught up with my measurements. Surprising I only grew heavier and not bigger.

After my parents left at noon, Jess brought out the bottle and read the instructions. "Mix 2 tablespoons with a full glass of water. 2,000 calories per glass."

"Mix 4 tablespoons per glass and get 16,000 in 4."

"Yeah."

My large butt wobbling, I sat down at the table. My wide rear spread out, filling the chair and hanging over. I drank quickly, slowing down at the end. I drank a little more but only a normal amount of powder. "20,000," I said enthusiastically.

I laid down on my bed with my butt up in the air. My butt widened and plumped up. My stomach was hurting so I rolled over my back and my belly stuck out another inch. My face was becoming rounder. Jess helped me back up and I looked in the mirror as my rear grew bigger and stopped after sticking out another few inches.

I pulled out the tape from my drawer and measured myself. I now measured 42 1/2-46-63. "That's a 1/2-1-5 gain." I weighed just short of 300. Jess weighed in at 180 and measured 45-46-44.

The next 2 months went by like a quick blur. I continued to eat, drink the oil, and expand. I stood by the mirror, my large butt dwarfed basketballs. My weight shot up well over 350 in the past 2 months and my measurements were 46-49-75. I couldn't believe it; my butt was so big and wide, like 2 giant beach balls crammed in a tight pair of pants. My butt was at least 2 and a half feet wide. My mother hadn't bought me any new clothes recently and my butt was growing faster than I could clothe it.

With Jess gone on vacation I was alone. I could eat a large pizza with no problems and still have room for more. I crammed my widening butt into a pair of shorts, rolls of fat hanging over my belt. My butt now formed a shelf big enough to hold a dinner plate.

While admiring my large figure in the mirror, the phone rang.

"Hello."

"Tiff," Jess said, "How's vacation going?"

"Pretty good. I gained 18 pounds in the last week."

"That's nothing, I gained 20."

"20!"

"Yeah, I've been pigging out on candy and pastries and cakes."

"That sounds good."

"Have you been drinking any more oil or weight gainer?"

"No, I threw it out when my parents said they were going to search my room to find out where I was hiding food. I GAINED 25 pounds in 15 days. I've been hanging out at the bakery, buying the day old pastries cheap."

"Sounds very good. Well," Jess said, "I have to go, we're having homemade waffles."

"Can't keep you waiting."

Jess had decided before her vacation to stop watching her weight. Since then her body blimped out. Her belly surged forward due to all the sweets she ate and her breasts sagged. Her butt grew and became huge. By the time she hit 320 her rear was as large as mine and swayed magnificently. Her measurements were 50-53-77 1/2.

I started going to the bakery every day at 5 to buy the day-old pastries. My hips widened considerably in the past month. My panties were turning into thongs again and it caused rubbing into my cheeks. It was January 15 at 5 PM and I grabbed my money and went to the bakery. They had a lot of pies and danishes to choose from. I bought 3 danishes, 1 pie, and 2 apple turnovers. I sat at the counter and ate them. My butt engulfed the padded stool cascading over the sides and back. I paid the cashier and left. My stomach bulged out even further.

On my way home I stopped at the corner store and bought more bottles of oil. Afterwards I went to McDonald's and snuck into the bathroom. Hiding in the stall I drank one of the bottles of oil. I went out and ordered a milkshake. I drank it then went back to the bathroom. My pants became tight again but I wanted to drink that second bottle. As I drank, my stomach bulged out to it's limit. Halfway through my second bottle, I slowed down. My stomach rumbling due to the effects of the oil. I finished the 2nd bottle and sat on a toilet seat. My butt was much wider than the seat and was inches from touching the sides of the stall. My legs widened and my stomach now reached halfway to my knees. My once loose sweatpants were now skintight and were shoved deeply into my crack. I stood in front of the mirror admiring my enlarged butt. I was at least 84 inches in my hips. I desperately tried to get rid of the uncomfortable feeling of my sweats shoved up my large butt crack.

On my way home I figured I had 128,000 calories. At least a few weeks' worth of eating. My massive hips took up the entire sidewalk as I walked. Upon seeing the corner store again I went in to buy more oil. This time I bought the economy size version of the oil. As I shopped I noticed the male cashier following my enormous figure in the store. I found the oil and paid. Walking out I saw the cashier looking at my expanding rear.

Before going inside, I hid the oil in my book bag. I got upstairs, but not before having my mother notice my enlarged backside. Once upstairs, I called Jess and asked her how much she gained.

"I've gained 5 pounds today. I'm about ready to drink 20 cups of 500 calorie oil before I go to sleep."

"I just bought a 28-cup bottle of oil of 350 per tablespoon, and I'm gonna do the same here." I hung up and drank the oil, at the same time put some sugar into it for better taste. Feeling the familiar spreading in my rear I fell asleep. Meanwhile, Jess was in her room drinking a 20-cup bottle of oil. She went to bed feeling her butt slowly grow during the night, and she went to sleep.

Another month later we were back at college and now we were dorming. Jess and I shared a room. Jess learned to cook from her family so she could make all the good homemade stuff we ate at her house. With no parents to keep watch over us, we decided to have an all night eat-a-thon and take measurements . We ordered a bunch of takeout and made buttermilk pancakes with syrup. We both ate 10 pancakes and allowed our enormous bellies to digest for a while. We then ate the takeout and continued eating until 2 AM. We rubbed our large bellies and I fell asleep. I rolled over exposing my titanic rear. Jess went back to eat some more and found some homemade cream in a large bowl at the back of the fridge. She drank it plain from the bowl. After that she went through the cupboard and got a jar of her grandmother's homemade olive oil she brought from home. It was about 5 cups and she figured about 800 calories per tablespoon. She drank it and fell asleep, using my very large butt as a pillow.

I woke up around noon to see Jess chugging down a bottle of cooking oil. I glanced down and saw 3 similar bottles on the floor. "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting very fat." She said between chugs. "These are 12 cups with 600 calories per tablespoon." She paused to finished the bottle. "I figure 48x16x600 is about 300,000 calories."

"Has it kicked in yet?"

"A lot on my bottom half." Her stomach started to gurgle and you could see her pants grow tighter to the point of breaking. "Oh...This is it." With a quick jolt, her rear blubbered up and was pushed up from the couch. Her belly reached her knees and breasts enlarged to soccer balls, hanging to the top corners of her stomach. She was massive. We decided to measure ourselves. I weighted 550 but looked more like 600. I measured 52-59-95. Then it was Jess's turn. She weighed 580 but looked more like 650. She measured 60-66-96.

The End
__________________
Coop: The mysteries of the world are revealed when you break stuff!!!

Last edited by Risible; 07-09-2008 at 01:39 PM.
Coop is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2008, 11:58 AM   #2
JimP
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 18
JimP has said some nice things
Default

Development is too fast in my opinion, it was already the annoying part in the original version. Skipping 2 months and around 50 pounds in a phrase...
And 150 pounds at original weight is not as skinny as the other version. Always better when a skinny girl start to slowly overindulge more and more and grow bigger.

Also there is so much emphasis on numbers in most stories but it always lack of binge descriptions. The most interesting part is when the girl start to snacking and can't resist to the pleasure to fill herself until she's about to burst, feeling a little more guilty each bit of food but submerged by the pleasure. I don't like to read a story and feel like it's a complex problem of maths. And often there is some point where the girl/guy involved do a so massive and unrealistic binge she/he magically gain few dozens of pound in the day, it simply kill the rythm of the story. A massive binge ok, but not the "I ate so much I gained 50 pounds in the day" thing. Gaining 2 pounds in a day is already massive.

Don't want to look excessively critical by the way, just suggesting some improvements.
JimP is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-09-2008, 12:57 PM   #3
Coop
Proud owner of Megas
 
Coop's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New York. But I wish I lived in Jersey City!!!
Posts: 734
Coop can now change their title
Default

Thanks for the input.

I didn't want to excessively change the story so I kept most of it in it's original format just changed things here and there.
__________________
Coop: The mysteries of the world are revealed when you break stuff!!!
Coop is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:50 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright Dimensions Magazine. All rights reserved worldwide.