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Old 10-08-2014, 07:48 PM   #1101
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Your posts....
Thank you and gentlest hugs to you - hope you feel better and just try to do things in small increments and remember, you're allowed to be human, no need to be Wonder Woman 24/7/365!
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Old 10-08-2014, 07:55 PM   #1102
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Thank you and gentlest hugs to you - hope you feel better and just try to do things in small increments and remember, you're allowed to be human, no need to be Wonder Woman 24/7/365!
I'm trying to take time for me. It just sort of feels like a balancing act and if I stop for a breath everything is going to fall. It's to the point where my own birthday is stressing me out because my mom wanted to do something, my dad wants to do something, there's an event the week before, I have class the day of and the day after, my pregnant friend wants to do something, and my school friends want to do something. The weekend comes and I feel good and then the week hits and I'm just totally flooded again.
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Old 10-08-2014, 07:59 PM   #1103
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I'm trying to take time for me. It just sort of feels like a balancing act and if I stop for a breath everything is going to fall. It's to the point where my own birthday is stressing me out because my mom wanted to do something, my dad wants to do something, there's an event the week before, I have class the day of and the day after, my pregnant friend wants to do something, and my school friends want to do something. The weekend comes and I feel good and then the week hits and I'm just totally flooded again.
You should ask everyone for spend some time with them coupons - then schedule out play dates with people at different times when it is more convenient for you instead of trying to please everyone at the same time. Your health and school must come first. Yes, relaxation is very important as well, but put your needs first, not their wants, even though they mean well.
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Old 10-08-2014, 08:03 PM   #1104
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You should ask everyone for spend some time with them coupons - then schedule out play dates with people at different times when it is more convenient for you instead of trying to please everyone at the same time. Your health and school must come first. Yes, relaxation is very important as well, but put your needs first, not their wants, even though they mean well.
Unfortunately I haven't seen my friends in weeks so I want to see them. It's just hard when everyone is in school and/or working and all but one live in another state. It's just a lot going on. After this month things will calm down, I just need to get through it.
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Old 10-09-2014, 07:05 AM   #1105
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My period totally fucks with my mental health and adding the stress of school, trying to plan four different birthday events, and dealing with negotiating holidays with divorced parents, and my internship I'm a mess this week. I've been able to hod it together and keep focused at my internship but once I leave it all floods back and my car rides int he morning are rough. I had a day last week where I felt awesome about my body and that's totally gone. I've been having passive thoughts of self-harm, no intention but I still don't like having the thoughts. I'm exhausted and it's only October.
lille, what you said about "negotiating" time with divorced parents really resonates with me. Mine prefer to pretend that the other doesn't exist, which doesn't seem to be a particularly mature attitude, especially since they're both 70 now and have been divorced for 28 years. We really shouldn't have to feel like treaty ambassadors in order to visit with our families.

Also, I think most people are too hung up on calendar dates. It's wonderful that your parents care about you and want to celebrate with you, but why should it necessarily have to be on your actual birthdate? The same goes for your friends, really. I would hope that everyone understands that you have a lot on your plate right now and might be willing to celebrate at a time that would be good for you so that you're better able to enjoy it.

It sounds like you're actually doing a great job of staying on top of everything, but you might consider taking intentional breaks now and then if things start to seem overwhelming. When I was in graduate school, I would sometimes disappear for 30-45 minutes in the middle of the day and eat my lunch in a nearby park. Even if it meant staying a little later to get all of my work done, it was worth it to get away for a bit and try to clear my head. Anyway, try to hang in there!
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Old 10-09-2014, 09:30 AM   #1106
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Luckily my mom said to prioritize seeing my friends. I've got one event on the 18th and I'll see my dad the 19th. May tell my pregnant friend I need to hold off till November and then my local friends and I may do something my actual birthday weekend. It's just between 20+ hours at my internship plus and hour commute each way, 15 hours of class, plus homework, and the gym every other day I feel like I have more things to do than time to do it if I want to get any sleep. I've been averaging 6-7hours a night as it is. I told one of my friend's what's going on and that helped, she's planning my local friend bday party for me.
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Old 10-09-2014, 03:39 PM   #1107
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Lille, so glad to hear things are working out a bit smoother for you!

Saw my general doctor today - tons of labs (hormones, iron etc.), PT for my knee & back, a med to help my back relax enough so I can get some sleep and some Prozac (lowest dosage) to help me gain more equilibrium. Says I am not "clinically depressed" at all - just under major duress (mom's & sister's cancer stuff) - plus my cardio meds could possibly be causing part of the depression - she's also recommended counseling if I want to have it for a bit. I see my cardiologist tomorrow to meet new dr. (former retired earlier this year) for new patient meet and also see about my palpitations returning (probably get to wear another heart monitor) - my b.p. was 100/62 so I think my meds may need adjusting. It feels good to get help. If anyone else out there is having problems and not getting checked, see your doctor. It's so worth it. And as a bonus, I've lost a few pounds too I am worth fighting for - just needed to stop trying to do everything myself.
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Old 10-09-2014, 04:10 PM   #1108
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I'm glad you're getting the help you need. Asking for help can be scary, but it's so worth it.
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Old 10-10-2014, 08:23 AM   #1109
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Default Anxiety and depression

Is it fair to say that everyone with depression also suffers from anxiety? If I think about it the other way around I don't necessarily see someone that suffers from anxiety Also having depression.

I've been thinking harder about my own depression issues in my treatment and I'm starting to think that I'm not so much depressed as I am anxious. And it is bad, man… Really bad. I'll go for periods where I'm not that anxious to a series of days where I am waking up, and immediately going into a panic attack.

If I hear the phone ring my heart rate skyrockets, and I feel very hot. I also get that a little bit whenever someone knocks on my door.

All of this started 10 years ago… Two years before I was paralyzed. I was going through a lot of very hard times and became withdrawn (and very depressed). I remember back then I turned the ringers off on all of my phones. I even did that to my office phone. I could tell when someone was calling because the lights would blink…
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Old 10-10-2014, 11:27 AM   #1110
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Depression does not always include anxiety but they have very high rates of comorbidity. I would definitely talk to a professional about the anxiety, there are highly effective treatments out there than can greatly improve quality of life.
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Old 10-10-2014, 03:12 PM   #1111
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I definitely do not have anxiety attacks. Palpitations from heart stuff when I lay down, yes (which the doctors still can't figure out why, especially when my heart looks so good quote un-quote - but not anxiety attacks. Depression on the other hand, yes. At least right now.
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Old 10-12-2014, 11:43 AM   #1112
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I just feel like a lost cause today. I feel like I keep trying and it goes nowhere. Some days I feel okay and others I just feel like I am drowning... I was going to go to the doctor but at the time before I had this job I had no money for a co pay, called and cancelled with the intention of rescheduling. Still haven't. I feel lost. I'm battling with myself to try and get closer with God and I feel like I'm just failing at that. I've turned to alcohol way too many times for my depression instead, especially for being 21. I'm young. I'm so intelligent and I just do the stupidest shit because I'm so depressed and desperate to just be numb of it. I really need to push myself into getting help but my priorities are so fucked and I just have trouble putting things where they need to be... Just not feeling it... Can I check out of life today?
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Old 10-13-2014, 06:39 AM   #1113
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Take it one step at a time. It sounds like you know you need help and you want to get that help. Recognizing that is a big first step. I know it's hard when you're depressed, but try to be gentle with yourself.
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Old 10-13-2014, 04:46 PM   #1114
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Take it one step at a time. It sounds like you know you need help and you want to get that help. Recognizing that is a big first step. I know it's hard when you're depressed, but try to be gentle with yourself.
I'm working on it... today's not any better. Think I'm going to retreat back to bed and sleep some more... I just don't know what to do and all I want to do is cry. But I'll get over it soon. I hope.
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Old 10-13-2014, 04:52 PM   #1115
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I'm working on it... today's not any better. Think I'm going to retreat back to bed and sleep some more... I just don't know what to do and all I want to do is cry. But I'll get over it soon. I hope.
Make sure to make time to do things that make you feel good. Take a warm bubble bath, drink some tea, things like that. Sometimes just getting out of bed is a struggle. And it is ok to cry. I hope you're able to get the help you need and things start getting brighter for you.
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Old 10-17-2014, 11:58 AM   #1116
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Tired of struggling. That's all.
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Old 10-20-2014, 01:32 AM   #1117
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Tired of struggling. That's all.
yeah, this. stay strong ss <3
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Old 10-22-2014, 12:40 PM   #1118
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I think my boys are the only thing keeping me from completely giving up. I have to get up every day and have to keep the household going because i don't want them to suffer. I'm in such a dark place that all i want to do is lay in bed and cry the day through.
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Old 10-23-2014, 07:48 PM   #1119
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I disassociated during class today. I have no memory of what happened during that time, I did not hear my etcher speaking, nothing. I don't think it was for very long, I remember tuning things out at step 3 of the activity because it was overwhelming and the next thing I remember was slowly coming back at the end as she was describing step 6. It's a little scary.
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Old 10-24-2014, 02:04 AM   #1120
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I got off Prozac last month. It was doing dick all so my doctor upped the dosage. So then in addition to the dick all it made me think about suicide. Now I'm off it. I was told that medication was a crapshoot and I should give our local clinic $140 per consultation to give it another go again and again until we find something that sticks. Finding out DIM existed didn't fix my depression or anxiety by any means but it's done more for my self esteem and confidence than any medication I've ever been on ever.

I'm not a success story yet, but I'm on the right road.

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Old 10-24-2014, 02:26 AM   #1121
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I disassociated during class today. I have no memory of what happened during that time, I did not hear my etcher speaking, nothing. I don't think it was for very long, I remember tuning things out at step 3 of the activity because it was overwhelming and the next thing I remember was slowly coming back at the end as she was describing step 6. It's a little scary.
That sounds pretty scary, has it happened to you before? It doesn't sound as though you were out of it for too long though, which is a good thing. Is there any chance that a medication you are on might make these episodes worse?Just a thought as I have a friend who's medication gives her strange side effects similar to this.

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I got off Prozac last month. It was doing dick all so my doctor upped the dosage. So then in addition to the dick all it made me think about suicide. Now I'm off it. I was told that medication was a crapshoot and I should give our local clinic $140 per consultation to give it another go again and again until we find something that sticks. Finding out DIM existed didn't fix my depression or anxiety by any means but it's done more for my self esteem and confidence than any medication I've ever been on ever.

I'm not a success story yet, but I'm on the right road.
I am glad you are starting to feel better. As a general rule, there are two main types of anti-depressant, SSRIs and SNRIs. Wikipedia (that most reliable of sources) tells me that what you guys call Prozac is an SSRI so you might want to ask to try a SNRI next time. There is an SNRI called Sibutramine that is also an appetite suppressant and used to 'combat obesity' (whatever that means) so they may try and give you that with you also being a bigger guy.

Different classes of medication can make a huge difference so don't be disheartened. I've got a friend who SSRIs do nothing for and SNRIs work great. For me, SSRIs allow me to control my depression but the only SNRI I ever took left me vomitting and semi-comatosed for a week so it really does just depend on the person.
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Old 10-24-2014, 03:20 AM   #1122
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Oh, I know why I disassociated. We were doing an activity called focusing. We did some progressive muscle relaxation and then the idea is you check in with yourself and you body and see what things are between you and being fine and you set them aside, mentally picture putting them in. Box and putting them away from you. I couldn't sustain that mental image and it kept feeling like no matter where I put the box it kept appearing right up next to me again, almost like a horror movie. It was totally overwhelming and since I couldn't get that to go away I went away.
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Old 10-26-2014, 07:30 AM   #1123
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I think my boys are the only thing keeping me from completely giving up. I have to get up every day and have to keep the household going because i don't want them to suffer. I'm in such a dark place that all i want to do is lay in bed and cry the day through.
I don't really know you, but you are always on my mind about your depression issues. I sure wish I could shine some sunshine on your life. You certainly deserve it
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Old 10-27-2014, 12:10 AM   #1124
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I disassociated during class today. I have no memory of what happened during that time, I did not hear my etcher speaking, nothing. I don't think it was for very long, I remember tuning things out at step 3 of the activity because it was overwhelming and the next thing I remember was slowly coming back at the end as she was describing step 6. It's a little scary.
Is disassociation like when you drive the same route everyday going and coming back from work, and you do it so much that baring any mishap you have no recollection of a particular journey. You know you left, and you know you got there, but the stuff in between.. meh.
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Old 10-27-2014, 05:59 AM   #1125
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lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!lille has a ton of rep. Literally. As in over 2000!
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Is disassociation like when you drive the same route everyday going and coming back from work, and you do it so much that baring any mishap you have no recollection of a particular journey. You know you left, and you know you got there, but the stuff in between.. meh.

That is an example of when disassociation is totally normal and healthy. Your body just sort of goes on autopilot because you don't really need to be all there. It also can happen under extreme stress as a defense mechanism.
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