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Old 08-05-2008, 08:36 AM   #1
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Default Random IM's from WANNA-BE's.......

I am sick and tired of random IM's from WannaBes, as a self labeled *FAT ADMIRER OF BHM*. I can only imagine what kind of attention others have on here. I guess I get frustrated that anyone can read the posts on this board, and find my contact information, as I HAVE IT POSTED

What am I really griping about? SO many men contact me for encouragement from AFAR ONLY, neglecting the plain and simple fact I am human and have lots of feelings, and might just get attached. Men come and go via IM online, and it can be hurtful.

I know I am not alone here, and open myself up to this. Two different men that *SAY* they want to gain heavily have contacted me this week...that dissappear for weeks at a time, and then just pop up as if we chatted yesterday. Perhaps it is the nature of the net....dunno..just felt like sharing my woe
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Old 08-05-2008, 06:45 PM   #2
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I chatted with you for a few days in a row back a while ago. Then you stopped signing on for a while!

I absolve myself!
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Old 08-05-2008, 10:22 PM   #3
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I don't get random IM's Okay well sometimes on Yahoo I get guys messaging me. It's nice but I am not gay
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Old 08-05-2008, 10:50 PM   #4
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Old 08-06-2008, 02:00 AM   #5
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Hasn't happened here (safe) but on other sites I only get random messages from Nigerian or Russian scammers.
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Old 08-06-2008, 03:34 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by BigChaz View Post
I chatted with you for a few days in a row back a while ago. Then you stopped signing on for a while!

I absolve myself!
I didn't mean men from *DIMS* specifically..much more like *LURKERS* that don't / won't post...but say HEY I read your posts...I see you are into gaining...and hence they start dropping in on my life or men that want *ONLY* internet relationships seeking an encourager
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Old 08-06-2008, 06:57 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by HDANGEL15 View Post
I didn't mean men from *DIMS* specifically..much more like *LURKERS* that don't / won't post...but say HEY I read your posts...I see you are into gaining...and hence they start dropping in on my life or men that want *ONLY* internet relationships seeking an encourager
I hear you sister. I get tired of being hit up by tramps and trollops too. I'm too busy being goddessy and important to waste a lot of time being wank fodder for a headless stranger online. Bring me the head of the guy who keeps cutting the onions and green peppers too big at Cappy's Pizza on Huntington Avenue and for you, I will MAKE time. Otherwise, taking a natural interest in me as a person will do.
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Old 08-06-2008, 09:53 AM   #8
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The problem is that people see your body/fetish/preference online before they actually see YOU. It takes time to see the person.

They aren't only creepy and annoying, but also lazy.
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Old 08-07-2008, 02:20 AM   #9
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Had an IM conversation after I'd posted about my frustrations with a lack of relationships. Not going to criticize the girl or anything, since she seemed nice, but it's been like a month later and haven't heard from them since. Can get a bit disheartening, really, when you have enough difficulty finding friends RL.

As it stands, I'm probably what most here would just call husky. About 6', probably somewhere between 230-250 since we haven't had a scale in the house for ages. Can't say I'm in the position to gain if I wanted to, but entertain the thought now and then and sometimes probably binge a little. Probably why I tend to lurk, but not sure how many are even in the eastern Ohio area if looking for more than just a net friend.
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Old 08-07-2008, 05:51 AM   #10
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Sometimes it's good to be noticed, though.

The grass is always greener, and all that.
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Old 08-07-2008, 01:20 PM   #11
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I'm glad someone started this topic. This is very frustrating. I am wary of any guy who is thin and claims he is a BHM or gaining. I just don't believe it. I'm more of the "yeah well then come back when you gain x pounds". I don't want to waste my time on someone who isn't serious. Plus this takes away from the actual BHMs on this site who need love and attention as well.

But it's even more frustrating when you fall for someone online and then they play the disappearing act. It's especially irritating when they come back but have no legitimate excuse of what happened or where they went.

We're real people. Don't toy with our emotions please. Don't lead anyone on. It's cruel. Make your intentions clear at the start.
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Old 08-07-2008, 01:34 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by CuriousKitten View Post
I'm glad someone started this topic. This is very frustrating. I am wary of any guy who is thin and claims he is a BHM or gaining. I just don't believe it. I'm more of the "yeah well then come back when you gain x pounds". I don't want to waste my time on someone who isn't serious. Plus this takes away from the actual BHMs on this site who need love and attention as well.

But it's even more frustrating when you fall for someone online and then they play the disappearing act. It's especially irritating when they come back but have no legitimate excuse of what happened or where they went.

We're real people. Don't toy with our emotions please. Don't lead anyone on. It's cruel. Make your intentions clear at the start.
My intention is to congratulate you on a successful move!!!

Good Luck finding your future CK!
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Old 08-07-2008, 08:54 PM   #13
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I get messages as well from guys saying they've read my posts...and blah, blah, blah.

I'm totally married - so please guys, no more private "hitting on me" messages.
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Old 08-08-2008, 10:57 AM   #14
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Maybe not all of them are wannabes. Sometimes people's real-life obligations get in the way of their i-life.
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Old 08-08-2008, 02:13 PM   #15
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Maybe not all of them are wannabes. Sometimes people's real-life obligations get in the way of their i-life.
Well I suppose you could define wannabes as people online who are only half ass looking for someone but pretending they're 100% there. But it's obvious that anyone who has a real life.. it's going to interfere with their online life on more than one occasion. That's fine. But disappearing with no explaination and then coming back and pretending like nothing happened? That's not.

But by wannabe I thought it meant those thin guys who claim they're BHMs because they have the slightest pinch of fat on their stomach.. that annoys me. Get real. You're not fat. If you want to be fat, get fat THEN join the community. Otherwise you're just faulty advertising.
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Old 08-08-2008, 02:16 PM   #16
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Well I suppose you could define wannabes as people online who are only half ass looking for someone but pretending they're 100% there. But it's obvious that anyone who has a real life.. it's going to interfere with their online life on more than one occasion. That's fine. But disappearing with no explaination and then coming back and pretending like nothing happened? That's not.

But by wannabe I thought it meant those thin guys who claim they're BHMs because they have the slightest pinch of fat on their stomach.. that annoys me. Get real. You're not fat. If you want to be fat, get fat THEN join the community. Otherwise you're just faulty advertising.
I have a soft spot for Allies of the BBW/BHM community, even if they aren't admirers. I don't want to turn them away, but they DO have to act like they really want to be a part of things. The people stringing you along don't sound like they want to be a part of the community anyway.
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Old 08-09-2008, 09:59 PM   #17
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"long distance" internet relationships are very difficult. Anyone can go and say they are someone else. I've had people randomly
IM me from other sites saying they really like me blah blah blah get to know me and stuff. Then they turn out to be some 16 year old punk that thought it would be great to get a kick out of knocking you down a notch.
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Old 08-10-2008, 06:47 AM   #18
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I have a soft spot for Allies of the BBW/BHM community, even if they aren't admirers. I don't want to turn them away, but they DO have to act like they really want to be a part of things. The people stringing you along don't sound like they want to be a part of the community anyway.
It's one thing if they're a supporter of the community. It's another if they're masquerading as a member of the community. I think thin people who support the fat movement even if they aren't admirers are great. But I don't think those are the kind of people who go online to "pretend" they're fat.

I guess on the flip side.. how would you feel if some girl started chatting you up online saying she was a FFA and then it turns out she's not and was leading you on for some sick and disgusting pleasure? You'd be pretty pissed. I wish there was an easier way to weed out fakes.

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Old 08-10-2008, 06:38 PM   #19
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I wish there was an easier way to weed out fakes.
Unfortunately, if anything it seems to be getting more difficult over time, at least from the male/BHM side. Not only are there always the standard pitfalls, but in the last few years dating sites have really been inundated with scammers (mostly Nigerians but also Russians) posting fake profiles hoping to start up a conversation and sucker gullible guys into sending them money for some concocted scheme. Fortunately for the women, they seem to only prey on guys, so you haven't had to wade through the seas of bogus profiles just to find a real person.

However, that generally works on a dating site. In a community like this, where people interact, the scammers don't come, much like how roaches scatter when someone switches on the light. But it's still a shame....In the earlier days of the net, it was actually much easier to meet people. There were more "axe murderer" date stories about meeting people on the internet at the time, since it was so new and mysterious to the mainstream, but people really seemed more open and sociable then. It seems so much more uncommon that people meet today, even though we have vastly more programs and technologies to use to get in touch. It's understandable, but really a shame.
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Old 08-10-2008, 06:44 PM   #20
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They are out there preying on women too, I was a target on a BBW dating website a few short months ago. Even though I caught on early and ended it FAST with my predator, I still receive random IMs on my Yahoo Messenger sounding very scammer like. I imagine 'my' scammer spread or is spreading my name as a potential target.

Be careful, they are out there.


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Unfortunately, if anything it seems to be getting more difficult over time, at least from the male/BHM side. Not only are there always the standard pitfalls, but in the last few years dating sites have really been inundated with scammers (mostly Nigerians but also Russians) posting fake profiles hoping to start up a conversation and sucker gullible guys into sending them money for some concocted scheme. Fortunately for the women, they seem to only prey on guys, so you haven't had to wade through the seas of bogus profiles just to find a real person.

However, that generally works on a dating site. In a community like this, where people interact, the scammers don't come, much like how roaches scatter when someone switches on the light. But it's still a shame....In the earlier days of the net, it was actually much easier to meet people. There were more "axe murderer" date stories about meeting people on the internet at the time, since it was so new and mysterious to the mainstream, but people really seemed more open and sociable then. It seems so much more uncommon that people meet today, even though we have vastly more programs and technologies to use to get in touch. It's understandable, but really a shame.
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Old 08-10-2008, 06:47 PM   #21
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I think you really touched on something here.

I have met many, many people on the net since I started Internetting in '97. I have met very few of them in real life... even the ones that I formed close friendships with and would have loved to meet. It's strange how something that's supposed to bring people together more often than not keeps them behind glass screens and it truly IS a shame.




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It seems so much more uncommon that people meet today, even though we have vastly more programs and technologies to use to get in touch. It's understandable, but really a shame.
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Yeah, Are you going my way?"

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