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Old 08-16-2008, 08:35 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by thatgirl08 View Post
Did I mention that I hate when random creeps from the internet call me fat? Oh..that too. :]
Okay good, I'm not the only one weirded out by that.
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Old 08-16-2008, 08:43 AM   #27
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Originally Posted by bellywatcher View Post
So I'm a random creep from the internet?! I thought you liked being called fat... What do you expect to be called by people from the internet that don't know you? Thin?!!
I apologize for speaking for thatgirl in her place, but since you just randomly called me fat too without any provocation...

I never said I liked it. I said I preferred it because I think that "curvy, voluptuous, fluffy," etc., sound stupid and like someone's dancing around the point so they don't hurt my feelings. I DO get offended, however, when people who have NOTHING to do with the conversation or just decide to pipe up and call me fat, like you did. Your opinion was not asked for.
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Old 08-16-2008, 11:40 AM   #28
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I like the word "Fat," and I use it sometimes to describe myself. If I am in the company of someone who gets offended by it, I explain that it's not offensive to me and that fat folks should embrace the word the way homosexuals have embraced the word queer. I think the only other words I've used are "big", "large", and "fatty." Tho I admit, the first time hearing the word fatty applied to me was less than welcoming, but I've since learned to accept it and use it as a term of endearment, but other euphemisms actually make me uncomfortable. I'd just rather hear the word "fat."
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:03 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by alison.victoria View Post
I apologize for speaking for thatgirl in her place, but since you just randomly called me fat too without any provocation...

I never said I liked it. I said I preferred it because I think that "curvy, voluptuous, fluffy," etc., sound stupid and like someone's dancing around the point so they don't hurt my feelings. I DO get offended, however, when people who have NOTHING to do with the conversation or just decide to pipe up and call me fat, like you did. Your opinion was not asked for.
This is hilarious! Here we all having a conversation about not tip toeing around calling fat women fat. I come straight out and say it and I offend those same people! I was just being obtuse really to see if it rattled anyone, and it did. You are bang on - of course my opinion wasn't asked for. However this is an internet discussion forum... the idea being people post stuff and discuss it!

Fat is a negative word for most people and society in general. It's only the FA world that embrace it, and even as I've demonstrated it's still very easy to get under someones skin - compare these two statements:
"I think you have great curves" vs "I think you are really fat". There is no contest really.... calling someone fat that you don't know just doesn't sound nice! Now lets all chill out, grab a bar of chocolate and enjoy fatness.
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:05 PM   #30
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See this? My biggest bug bear!! People who say I am not fat because they think its what I want to hear!! To me its like someone saying I am not tall!
I can see how the word fat is offensive, to people who are maybe like 10llbs "overweight" but to me its stating the bloody obvious.

I get people that hate that I call myself fat, it frustrates me. Surely its my choice how I feel comfortable referring to myself? Even my cutie, who loves my body and prefers fat girls, rarely calls me fat. He calls me curvy. Its not that I mind other words for fat. I like being called fluffy or voluptuous, its cute and theyre just alternative words, but only providing the person is also happy to call me FAT!!
I'm very happy to call you fat. Maybe very fat in fact?
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:06 PM   #31
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I've been around this place for all of my adult life (and most of my teen life) and I've come across many different types of people who are into fat.

A common theme I find recurring is that a lot of FA don't/won't use the word fat. In my time I've been told I'm not fat I'm; juicy, fluffy, chubby, big, plus sized, curvy ect. Also, when I've said 'Actually I'm fat' I've been told not to 'put myself down by refering to myself that way'.

I don't think refering to myself as fat *IS* putting myself down. I actually find myself feeling more offended when I'm told I'm *not* fat. It's like why would I lie about something so bloody obvious and do they think I'm so stupid that I'm suddenly going to say 'oh hang on wait, I've been totally wrong I'm not actually fat. woohoo!?'

Anyways, sorry for the little rant. What are your thoughts on the matter?
My thoughts are that you are fat Em.
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:11 PM   #32
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I'm very happy to call you fat. Maybe very fat in fact?
have you seen pics of me? if so, great. as fat is what i am. if you havent seen pics of me, look at them, then call me fat

i honestly dont give a damn if i get called fat. by anyone. stranger or not. what i dont like is when someone tags another word onto the end like calling me a fat cow or a fat pig. fat i am, an animal i am not.

i think the thing here is though bellywatcher, you are fairly new to the boards and we dont know you and are not sure how to take these comments as whilst we think the word fat is positive, there are those that think it negative, and no one likes the idea of having the piss taken outta them.
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:27 PM   #33
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I think that people may be reluctant to use the term if they've not been exposed to it in a positive light. Before I joined Dims I only knew the word "fat" as a pejorative one. Now I use it either as a neutral description or as praise. That's a huge change from a lifetime of thinking that it could only be an insult.

Example of positive use: Bexy, who is fat, is my secret girlfriend.

Every time we use it positively, it helps change the connotations.
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:31 PM   #34
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I think that people may be reluctant to use the term if they've not been exposed to it in a positive light. Before I joined Dims I only knew the word "fat" as a pejorative one. Now I use it either as a neutral description or as praise. That's a huge change from a lifetime of thinking that it could only be an insult.

Example of positive use: Bexy, who is fat, is my secret girlfriend.

Every time we use it positively, it helps change the connotations.
Well, its not a secret anymore!!!
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:31 PM   #35
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have you seen pics of me? if so, great. as fat is what i am. if you havent seen pics of me, look at them, then call me fat

i honestly dont give a damn if i get called fat. by anyone. stranger or not. what i dont like is when someone tags another word onto the end like calling me a fat cow or a fat pig. fat i am, an animal i am not.

i think the thing here is though bellywatcher, you are new to the boards and we dont know you and are not sure how to take these comments as whilst we think the word fat is positive, there are those that think it negative, and no one likes the idea of having the piss taken outta them.
I wouldn't call someone a fat *insert animate or inanimate object*. As you say it has too many negative conotations. I'm not new - I just never post normally.

However, this thread made me laugh so much, because as you say being called fat is fine if you know the person (or at least know they mean it in a positive way). I just wanted to make the point that people who claim to 'like' or 'not mind' being called fat actually still feel uncomfortable with it when its someone they don't know. I think the reactions I've had illustrate this. Classic!
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:33 PM   #36
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I wouldn't call someone a fat *insert animate or inanimate object*. As you say it has too many negative conotations. I'm not new - I just never post normally.

However, this thread made me laugh so much, because as you say being called fat is fine if you know the person (or at least know they mean it in a positive way). I just wanted to make the point that people who claim to 'like' or 'not mind' being called fat actually still feel uncomfortable with it when its someone they don't know. I think the reactions I've had illustrate this. Classic!
i dont feel uncomfortable!! i dont mind! im just explaining why other posters may feel it. as they dont know you, they dont know how you mean it. to some people fat is used as an insult, and if they dont know better its easy to assume the worst.
i dont care if you call me fat. im tall. i have red hair. i am fat. its all descriptive to me.
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:40 PM   #37
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oh man, i've totally reclaimed the word fat in my world. even at work, i've got people totally comfortable with it. just the other day, i found an address book at work to buy with cupcakes on it, and excitedly, showed the girl in the department what i found. she's like "awesome, it's a fat girl book!!", had a slight look of horror on her face, then relaxed when i cracked up. it's all about what it is to you, and to me, it's a pretty damn accurate descriptor of my physical state.

oh man. less than two weeks til the fatties take burlington!!

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Old 08-16-2008, 04:41 PM   #38
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i dont feel uncomfortable!! i dont mind! im just explaining why other posters may feel it. as they dont know you, they dont know how you mean it. to some people fat is used as an insult, and if they dont know better its easy to assume the worst.
i dont care if you call me fat. im tall. i have red hair. i am fat. its all descriptive to me.
I think maybe you detected my wry Brtish dryness a little better than some of the American girls....but I'm pleased to hear you don't have a problem with being called fat. If you did then I'm sure you'd have done something about it after all. Good for you - few people are as comfortable with themselves as you are.
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:46 PM   #39
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I think maybe you detected my wry Brtish dryness a little better than some of the American girls....but I'm pleased to hear you don't have a problem with being called fat. If you did then I'm sure you'd have done something about it after all. Good for you - few people are as comfortable with themselves as you are.
its cos im originally a scouser...say no more lol!
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:59 PM   #40
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I think that people may be reluctant to use the term if they've not been exposed to it in a positive light. Before I joined Dims I only knew the word "fat" as a pejorative one. Now I use it either as a neutral description or as praise. That's a huge change from a lifetime of thinking that it could only be an insult.

Example of positive use: Bexy, who is fat, is my secret girlfriend.

Every time we use it positively, it helps change the connotations.
That sums it up for me, too. Now it's just a descriptor...and I don't feel like I have "failed" or something is terribly wrong with me to now be referred to as fat. I am.....and?

However, knowing how I USED to feel about ..... and realizing that other big people might STILL feel that way, I am careful how I toss that word around in reality. Not everyone is in the same place that I am now......and I don't want to make anyone feel like I have insulted them....because that is how it could be easily taken.
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Old 08-16-2008, 05:23 PM   #41
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it is as essential that FAs or anyone else use the word "fat" as it is that people referring to homosexuals say "gay." reverse the world's insecure character flaw: fat is independent of good or bad, it means what it means. and the sooner people accept that, the sooner we can attach alternative (re: positive) connotations to it en masse.
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Old 08-17-2008, 09:40 AM   #42
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So I'm a random creep from the internet?! I thought you liked being called fat... What do you expect to be called by people from the internet that don't know you? Thin?!!
How about nothing at all? It was just such an unnecessary comment - you weren't even responding to the thread at all, just deciding to randomly quote me and call me fat..do you know me? Just wondering. Oh wait, no, you don't. There's a difference between an FA that I actually know calling me fat and some random person who I've never talked to before and has probably never even seen a picture of me stating that I am "very fat."

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Originally Posted by alison.victoria View Post
I apologize for speaking for thatgirl in her place, but since you just randomly called me fat too without any provocation...

I never said I liked it. I said I preferred it because I think that "curvy, voluptuous, fluffy," etc., sound stupid and like someone's dancing around the point so they don't hurt my feelings. I DO get offended, however, when people who have NOTHING to do with the conversation or just decide to pipe up and call me fat, like you did. Your opinion was not asked for.
Bolded statement - basically what I was trying to say! Thanks Alison:]


Oh, and I just want to add that I also prefer "big" or "bigger" over words like voluptous, fluffly, queen-sized, etc.

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Old 08-17-2008, 05:50 PM   #43
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I have a bit of trouble with the "F" word, because ever since I was little, I was told not to call anyone fat...
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Old 08-17-2008, 06:00 PM   #44
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You know, it really irks me that this word is so loaded. It's ridiculous. It's okay to use it only if you know people will be comfortable with it...eff that. We should all take a vow to just say we are fat around other people and either explain why it's not a bad word or just tell them to stuff it if they object.
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Old 08-17-2008, 07:36 PM   #45
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I have a bit of trouble with the "F" word, because ever since I was little, I was told not to call anyone fat...
I hesitate to call others fat, unless I know for sure they're alright with it. My cousins and my sisters and I can joke about it because we're comfortable with it, but I wouldn't dream of just going up to someone and telling them they're fat. LOL.

I also hesitate to call myself fat around other fat people, because I feel like I'd offend them... If that makes any sense.
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Old 08-18-2008, 01:23 AM   #46
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Originally Posted by bellywatcher View Post
I wouldn't call someone a fat *insert animate or inanimate object*. As you say it has too many negative conotations. I'm not new - I just never post normally.

However, this thread made me laugh so much, because as you say being called fat is fine if you know the person (or at least know they mean it in a positive way). I just wanted to make the point that people who claim to 'like' or 'not mind' being called fat actually still feel uncomfortable with it when its someone they don't know. I think the reactions I've had illustrate this. Classic!
To be honest it came across more like you were fapping away and calling people fat.

I see now that that is not what you were doing, but it still came across as creepy at the time.
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Old 08-20-2008, 06:23 AM   #47
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I avoid it.

You have to remember that the average girl who posts on here is not the average "fat girl" in the real world. A lot of girls are not comfortable with the word, and a lot of girls have pretty shaky self-confidence to begin with.

The last thing a girl needs is for me to start throwing hatchets at their confidence by calling them something they are not comfortable with, and probably holds negative connotations for them.
I don't see how that would help anything.

If I knew a girl was okay with it, cool.
But if I don't know that, she's certainly not going to hear it from me.
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Old 08-20-2008, 06:54 AM   #48
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DING DING DING!!! This one is a winner!! RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!!

THANK YOU for getting it... at least as far as I am concerned.




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I avoid it.

You have to remember that the average girl who posts on here is not the average "fat girl" in the real world. A lot of girls are not comfortable with the word, and a lot of girls have pretty shaky self-confidence to begin with.

The last thing a girl needs is for me to start throwing hatchets at their confidence by calling them something they are not comfortable with, and probably holds negative connotations for them.
I don't see how that would help anything.

If I knew a girl was okay with it, cool.
But if I don't know that, she's certainly not going to hear it from me.
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Old 08-20-2008, 01:17 PM   #49
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I don't really comment on anyone's body unless I know them well or they ask me to, so the word fat doesn't come up very often. If I call someone fat it's because I know them well enough to know that they won't be offended by it.
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Old 08-20-2008, 01:31 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by olwen View Post
You know, it really irks me that this word is so loaded. It's ridiculous. It's okay to use it only if you know people will be comfortable with it...eff that. We should all take a vow to just say we are fat around other people and either explain why it's not a bad word or just tell them to stuff it if they object.
i can't applaud you enough.
i thank you for speaking up and out, because you are absolutely right.
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